Nip Tuck - Social Media Fails

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

Have you ever accidentally put your ex boyfriends name as your Facebook status whilst searching for him 😬 this week we talk about our biggest social media fails. Jeans are making a come back so we give you our best denim recommendations and we update you on some of our recent treatments.If you want BONUS episodes each week, a chance to win giveaways and be part of our amazing group chat then join our Patreon (link below) https://www.patreon.com/niptuckpodIf you have a Sluttly Sue, a dilemma, a question for us then send us an email…[e-mail] us out on Instagram @niptuckpod SPONSORS Thank you to Perky Pear for sponsoring this week’s episode. Use our code NIPTUCK25 FOR 25% off. perkypear.comMusic courtesy of BMG Production Music Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

guys hi and welcome to nip tuck not giving a fuck this is the podcast where we celebrate being positive aspirational women we are in your ears twice a week um once we've got a long episode and then the second one we have a little episode on apple subscribe and patreon as well so have a look at our instagram all the details are on here but today we have got a great we've got a good episode today we do we're gonna have a little catch-up first so what have you been up to this weekend are they on cloud trainers yeah that is not something i would ever expect to see on your vicinity i've spoken to you oh i can't remember but they're my favorite trainers ever okay i'm not i'm just saying i would not expect you to wear them i've had them for like three four years

before they got big yeah well the reason why I love you don't run you can slip them on oh my god Ashley's so fucking lazy and she's so bothered about ease that even her trainers need to require the minimal yeah who puts them on for you well I just slipped my foot shut up no but honestly do you know what I need to get back into the gym because I've not been to the gym for you just had a baby and then one before three years before yeah you have because you used to train with such your body now and again i used to take the piss out oh yeah i did have a stint where i did train after teddy and you would look like you were going to a pe class oh fuck off um i basically i've got my slender tone that i put on at home i've had m sculpt my tummy is looking

really good saying you've only just had a baby like that's quite good isn't it really good um so i'm all about these so if anyone knows how to turn your muscles without actually moving send it in please but i want to do that ems training what's that i'll try and book a session because i think claire's bringing it to the gym you put this outfit on i've seen it and you do half an hour but because it's and the trainer tells you he's like right squat and then it goes and the kardashians done it yeah yeah i've seen it oh my god like listen half an hour of that is like something like a four-hour workout absolutely sign me up we could get the suits and sit up with them when we do the pod if anyone knows of any ems trainers yeah that would be really funny please

tell us um so yes this weekend it was teddy's second birthday totally forgot it's fine i mean so we had like a little breakfast thing yeah what did you do for him did you have a part a party no no it's two i agree i i don't get that did you even buy him any presents because i never really yeah yeah he got a tractor thing um and then i just said to everyone please buy him clothes as you know and um yes we had like a little breakfast and then off he went with the nanny for the afternoon and me and ed both literally lay in bed all weekend after that breakfast we were like oh i don't see much they had a first birthday party yeah but would you do that again no no i think with your first one yeah it's all exciting i mean whatever you do you yeah you do the cake smash

yeah oh no no i did cake smash is embarrassing yeah i probably wouldn't do it now um but that's so oh it was cute yeah i bet all the pictures got plastered over social media oh god yeah oh fucking hell she was cute she was really cute anyway she still is yeah i do you know what i am coming to a point with her and i don't know if any other mums can give me some advice on this but like she's six now and i do feel like they grow up so much faster now like all of a sudden we were talking about this i feel like she's changed and i can't put my finger on it and because i am like it's weird because i'm not mumsy but i am very mumsy as well it's a weird thing and i'm very obsessed and weird with her it's almost like i feel like at six years old i've knit i've lost her

i can't explain like all of a sudden now she doesn't hold my hand as much she doesn't need as much from me she's a bit like the other day i was like be careful she's like yeah i will and i just thought and i feel sad and i feel like she's already at six like i wasn't ready for this yet i thought ten yeah but then they have their little baby moment oh my god she got in my bed last night and she wanted me or like do you ever like listen at the door when she's playing and talking oh my god she started like being just so much more grown up and she keeps like when i'm not looking not when i'm not looking but i can't check and she's doing this dance like oh yeah yeah my body popping yeah yeah and like this sass is coming off her and i think it's

school but i just i said to my mom the other day i feel like i'm losing her already and it's really hurting me we had a chat last night about like kids growing up and there's a kid that's got its own instagram i'm sorry like what the fuck that is so wrong whatever you do you but in your it's not you doing you it's the kid and you are doing the kid yeah you know like it's fucked i do get it and i'm obviously this the kid sharing thing you're really big about that and i've always been like no whatever but now she's getting of an age where she's recognizable she's not a baby anymore she's a person and she's going to stay looking like that if you get what i mean i'm now genuinely starting to think i think it's time to stop sharing her i share her because i love her

she's gorgeous and all the rest of it but who's it for yeah me it's for me to say look how amazing my daughter is i don't really feel like it's my concern i'll be totally honest i'm starting to think about it more and more is this podcast we talk about so much shit yeah so much embarrassing shit yeah and i'm concerned that the older she gets it's going to be a point where they go your mum said this on yeah and i'm thinking do i stop now so that she can be her own person without your mum's got a podcast and talks about you it's not up to you it's her it's her that's why i just think it's so selfish and i'm just starting to think now now she's recognizable i don't really want to go into high school with with boys that can say your mum talks about i kind of wish like

that i'd never even said the kids names i get it i am also another thing guys that i um was well i'm into like all this like protect yourself your kids like i don't really show the house don't show the kids don't don't really show much bad because it's not their choice it's mine yeah but one thing that they say as well is don't share your kid's birthday because then everyone knows their birthday if they're ever birthday yeah their name where school they're from they could potentially yeah no it's just like like it was teddy's birthday at the weekend i've been really vague i've not done a post like happy second birthday what would i bother doing that for no i get i do get it and i am starting to i think if i had another baby i don't mind sharing the

baby particularly but when they get to an age where they're recognizable i i am thinking about it a lot more now i really am yeah i i am i'm certainly thinking and and the thing is like with james's kids i protect them i cover them because they're not my choice and i want to post my chat do you know what i mean so i'm thinking why do i not do that with my own yeah i think instagram's just uh yeah i am starting to think about that but anyway anyway speaking of social media courtney kardashian pictures over the weekend that travis posted and then chloe posted so i my take on this is he would never have posted that had she not been okay with it oh yeah so he everyone thinks oh he's posted all these no come on he said courtney do you mind if i post explain

the pictures then so it was happy birthday courtney and instead of the pictures being a gorgeous magazine cover type picture it was real candid pictures of her once she sat on the toilet which i actually thought was really funny one she's like just natural normal laughing pictures she still looks fucking unreal yeah but she doesn't look face up face up and you know lighting and all the rest of it and i actually a lot of people were saying oh my god i can't believe he's done that but come on guys let's be our experts exactly they have done it will have been sat there in her office yeah on the toilet that's perfect yeah show her butt like they're not stupid courtney will not he will not have sat there on the toilet having a poo and put random

pictures up and then courtney's gone on instagram and gone oh fuck you know millions he said to her are you okay with this she said yeah so i think it's fine james i mean he's got no followers but always post horrific ones of me on purpose to take the piss i think it's funny however what i am interested in is the one that kim posted with the stomach that everyone's talking about which by the way there was nothing wrong with her stomach well like what you said like she's had four children one of them she only had what four months ago honestly so basically kim kardashian post a picture her and chloe look as usual bomb um courtney looks fucking insane does she look perfect to the standard that often they post not quite she still looks incredible but if she is not

absolutely face tuned and picture perfect but it's only because she stood next to them yeah and and my what i want to know is were they edited or did they was it just a genuine shot like them two have been yeah and she's not but again kim will have said can i post this before i post it yeah um and she said yeah and i think good on her we've spoken before as well about girls um in girl groups do you remember someone sent that dilemma in didn't they and they said like my friend always posts vile pictures on purpose of me and i am not about that like honestly i think if you're sharing something and even if your friend's in the background you should always make sure that they're okay always check just say you're okay with that but she will have done and courtney

will have been okay with it and what's more frightening than kim posting that picture is the fact that people were saying she didn't look great i can't get my head around and it'll be like we always say women saying about other women like it's just an absolute joke i'm trying to cause a feud between the sisters and all the rest of it it's just a piss take now social media fails so we did a shout out to you guys um about your social media fails i've spoken before about one big one that i had where my tits were in the reflection of some sunglasses on a q a like actual big oiled up tits and like honestly that that is i just put it to the back of my mind and thought i can't deal with this like put that in the trauma box exactly and then

um had another one where i deleted facebook and this was like probably like 10 years ago i deleted facebook and i reinstalled it again and for like you know when you reinstall it for a day to go and stalk your standard like ex-boyfriend person that you don't get on with yeah all best friend quick yeah all of that um and i went on to like reactivated it at night and i thought i'm gonna have a good look isn't it nice now when again you think oh i've not checked on them for a bit um so i went on this new facebook and it said i thought it was the search bar i've done this i thought it was the search bar and it wasn't it was your status i've done it i've done it and people would comment because it was in the middle of the night i hadn't like oh god i've

done that i've done that before um one of the listeners which i think is really funny is put when i first got with my now husband i stalked a mutual friend on facebook who he'd slept with in the past we all do oh like sarah sue and then she's gone and looked for sarah sue exactly after about four hours i got a text from my boyfriend asking why i shared a photo a photo of his ex partner from seven years ago what had she done press share by mistake on a story to die the photo shared had been sat on my facebook for hours and this was when facebook was massive so she's gone and found the girl or she screenshot it

to send her mates I don't know and she's put this girl imagine your boyfriend texting you seven years ago that would be one of those where a poo just falls

out of your bum yeah you just poo your pants yeah absolutely this one's quite funny uploaded a profile picture not realising there was a rolled up note

next to me on the table so many celebrities have done that so many celebrities have done that that's so fucking I once and it was when I was

with the one that took the money off me and twitter was quite big yeah and there was an x x x x x and i thought i'm gonna fucking look at her you want to look what did she look like is she better than me worse than me like so i went on her and i went back i would say two years and favorited one of her tweets by mistake i've done that and i remember she would have been like who are you i was within like eight years ago um i remember being at maya and i was in reception and i was like and i just went did you did you

unfavorite it straight away yeah but she will have got the notification yeah and i threw my phone and i was heading hands that's kind of why i miss having the notifications on i've turned them oh mine are off but um megan was going through she she said can i see barbara's ex-girlfriend yeah and literally we were sat in her living room and she went ashley i'm so sorry no just like the picture and it was from like years ago and i was like but that's whenever you pass your friend your phone no you always pass it to me you go don't touch put your hands behind your back and then do you remember when michelle keegan put that picture on instagram of her tits no yeah yeah yeah oh my god there's a couple on here but supposedly it was her tits we don't know if it was her tits

but do you remember christina have a look yeah it was huge it was in like 2017 oh my god listen to this one one of our listeners posted a story and it was supposed to be a photo to my bestie slagging my sister-in-law i've done that before so this is what i did once and i can't my memory's just as you know so bad i do remember now so when i was i do remember i was with someone and they sent me a barrage of abuse and i'd screenshot it to send to a friend like look at what he's fucking saying now that's probably me probably that same night i uploaded like a carousel almost yeah selfie selfie and included the abuse at the end so it was like pout pose you're fucking slag you've done and luckily someone messaged me like babe you've do you know you've done that that wasn't even that

long ago that was around lockdown time so i've done that um i'm trying to think what else i've done someone here said it's a standard isn't it where you you send someone's story to someone else i know what i've done before i've been having two conversations i think it was to do with work i can't remember so it might have been you actually so that's the only time you ever got to be two-faced yeah yeah so i'm speaking to one person like i'm fucking fuming let me find out and then i'm speaking to the person like hi and then i've screenshot their reply to send to the other person and send it to them oh yeah yeah yeah and then i've gone yeah just so you know what you said a minute ago to me in case you've not realized i've done some really embarrassing things like

that and it's just that the way your stomach yeah do you know what really freaks me out as well when you're on whatsapp to someone and it says this message has been deleted i'm like why you've done something yeah what did you say oh it's so whenever they've like you can tell they've had a drink and then they've woke up the next day and they've deleted that's why girls screenshot everything the second you get anything through screenshot we were um pissing ourselves weren't we about that um girl that spray tans by jess from liverpool the scouser this weekend this guy has commented on a pitch saying you scout slack and she's literally found him found his workplace rang his workplace and it's just like please can we start doing more of that because like at what

point would you write something that's the actually it happened to us last week it happens to happen to us last week that girl about the picture of my ass what on your lauren posted a picture of my right and i think my bum looks fantastic and you know what i love my bum so say what you want about what happened um i posted a picture of ashley's bum i don't know if anyone saw it because there was loads of dog hairs on it yeah and somebody and you know what i will say she's always been like the messages above are like love you and um but one was about one was about james at the very beginning about his ear which i'll let sorry mrs perfect which i'll let slide at the time i think she's a pod listener so

sorry but i did reply maybe this isn't the pod for you um and she just replies in who's who's arse is that so i just put ashley's and then she was like lauren please don't do that to yourself please never do that please never do that to yours and my first thought was that's my friend yeah you are talking about my friend to me and also if i want i will now go and get triple the size because i can because i will not be told what i can do on her facebook and she's like a normal person like and it's like at what point are we all gonna have that spray tans by jess energy and start fucking hey did you know hsbc stockport that laura ann yeah actually sends mean messages in a spare time look screenshot it screenshot your ass send it to your group chat

and say wow what a state your ass is fine do what you like if that's how you want to be we don't do stuff like no but and that's what i said i replied and i wasn't a dick was i i just said please don't do that that's my friend yeah please don't body shame each other i would never message you and be like i thought that outfit you wore the other day don't ever wear that again whether i thought it or not so let's just i think it's because people think they know us really well which is amazing but that doesn't give you the right then to be rude like let's just let's be careful let's not let's not another social media fail on her um that a listener has sent in not me but my friend accidentally went live on facebook in her thong she sat on the camera

sat on the camera while being on the live with her bear on the street. I was crying my eyes out trying to wring her. Trying to wring her like, get off it. I posted a photo of me

in the bath naked with an avatar filter on and over 200 people saw it. I want to know why you were taking pictures of yourself naked in the bath with an avatar filter. You just do sometimes though,

don't you? I took a picture of my nipple and added it to my story by accident it was up for about a minute oh do you know what i did once and ed was really pissing me off this was literally back in the day this probably was like 10 11 years ago and um i went on his phone because i thought i'm gonna destroy you yeah and i changed his instagram bio to cheshire playboy and a winky face three months there was this guy at uni he was horrible and he lived in my halls and he was like oh yeah yeah yeah like one of them like well if your family's so loaded why the fuck are you here

then bro bro elliot so i went on his laptop we were having a party and me and someone else were like upstairs and we were in his room we were like what can we do and I went on his laptop and he was always like oh yeah well Oxford didn't want me that's why I ended up at Salford Uni and I was like fuck off and we went yeah and we went on his CV and at the end of his because it was like in our last year at the end of his CV we were like um like activities and hobbies and it was like furiously wanking going over like something else and we saved it and we don't know how long he was sending that cv i won't send him that's mean i feel like i've said it before i won't send um you remember roya from my i went on her computer because she was

reception i was the manager at the time um really good manager and i went she left her computer unlocked and so i went on her emails and sent our manager above an email saying that she wanted to be manager of maya and she felt like she'd worked hard enough and it was now time and could she have a meeting about actually being the manager of the whole mire and the reply was like royal let's have a chat about this and then they found out it was me and i got in so much trouble like you're meant to be one of the managers you can't do that shit but it's oh it's funny isn't it whatever i did loads of stuff i shouldn't have done when i worked there yes right lauren so you know the other day when we spoke about the perfect white vest top

but there was one issue hiding your nipples you're right absolutely none of them hid your nips but i've got a little solution to that perky pear oh my gosh we absolutely love perky pear and they have kindly sponsored today's episode for those of you who don't know perky pear they create the most amazing shape and boob tape so that you feel super confident in tops and dresses and you don't have to wear a bra do you know it's so good for bridal as well a lot of the dresses that i thought were stunning you couldn't have worn without a bra but they've got a new sweetheart neckline that launches this spring so it literally covers all your wedding dress styles also lauren they have just launched a new bigger size for double g and h cups too so they have absolutely got you

covered big titty girls we've got you too perky pear was actually founded and designed by samantha hall in 2017 when she was just 25 what a boss lady and since then they have absolutely revolutionized the boob tape category which used to be like silicone stick-on products or like paper-based adhesive stickers but this is something much much better. It's also so amazing for giving you that little extra bit of lift. The original lift and shape tape is a bestseller and is a pear-shaped design to lift and shape at all sides and angles so it stays hidden even if you're wearing something super low-cut you can adjust it for what you need. I actually wore it when we went to the international women's day event the other week and i used it to give them a little pull up and

to hide my nips as well but they do go from size a to b all the way up to double gh which actually is unheard of by the other boob tape brands like they are covering all boobie sizes so for all of your boobie needs head to perkypair.com and use our code nip tuck 25 that's nip tuck 25 for 25% off thank you so much to perky pair for sponsoring this episode right then catchy uppie catch up well let's go back to the uh back to the beginning then lauren here we go sorry right um no i just feel like we've not spoken about like treatments much recently so i just wanted to kind of update you all and a little bit of a trip tick are you all right like we're only on the first episode tip that i've got so as you know and we are going to

use this picture in one of our lives absolutely the swally picture that's got to go on one stage yeah i look so much better can you tell yeah yeah a tiny bit more needed in the middle do you think tiny bit so basically it looks so much better yeah so basically this is it must have been filler it must have been so we noticed what about five six months ago it was like a black eye yeah um i all of a sudden started getting like a pocket of swelling under one eye now i have had that much shit done in the past i couldn't tell you whether i've had my tear troughs done or not i think i probably have but i'm talking years ago um and i've had cheek filler years ago which i wish i'd not had and haven't not i just it makes me look like a clown um anyway so i will have had it at

some point but all of a sudden this little lump came and when i was tired when i'd been on the session at the weekend drinking loads and i came in on a monday and i did notice it but you don't you notice something on yourself you think okay and then ashley said what's that under your eye and i thought yeah you can see it so i had it dissolved and the interesting thing about this is and like i say if i have had tear trough filler it i'm talking six years like a long time isn't it i have however had lumii yeah and a couple of other bits over the years so i can only assume it's that or it's migrated filler i don't know or it might be something to do with the lymph and the drainage in that area so i um listened to another podcast about like beauty treatment

another one another one it's way more highbrow than ours it's not comparable don't say the name and the lady on there said that if you have like a heavy weekend or you've got that even if like you know you're pregnant anything and you've got that bloat face basically there's this sterile you heat water up like um boiled water and you put it in this squeezy thing a nasal douche thing yeah and you put it up your nose and then it comes out of the other nostril and it clears that whole area of swelling i think mine was filler though oh well yeah so if you want to do that and shove stuff up your nose no but it's meant to be really good if you're a puffy eyes yeah so anyway it's called neon med or something i went and got it dissolved um but i'm a massive sweller aren't i

actually like oh you're allergic i'm allergic i'm border allergic but do you know how many people are so this is why i was just gonna say so a lot of people are allergic now you can be i'm just getting the picture up now so i can tell them you can be allergic very allergic as in anaphylactic shock and that's ringing an ambulance that's ringing an ambulance shit and then you can be that's why you always have to have a test before you have it done or you can just be bored like allergic but not gonna die and i'm that like i swell like a fucker so i hate having anything dissolved anyway what she did is she flushed it rather than dissolved it anyway another tip if you are a sweller when you get things dissolved because you messaged me over the weekend didn't

you and you were like my friends had something dissolved she's swollen like a fucker can i send the picture to her yeah because she was really panicking she was really panicking so i was like okay yep send it and make sure it goes no further just to make her feel better about it but one of the injectors that follow me told me about alevia oh yeah i take that for my hay fever yeah it's the evia from tesco 120 milligram tablet it's a new ingredient and i took two beforehand and two after yeah and i did not well look at me now i did not swell massively and another injector messaged me and said what you can do is take an antihistamine every day for a week running up to right it's just a bit of a tip for you guys so i had it dissolved anyway and it does look better

doesn't it but the point of it is how did that happen and this is why we're funny with under eye stuff isn't it because and it's such a thin area of skin but that's why you're having the cool laser to build up the thickness so now i'm in a position where i'm like right what the fuck which i feel like a lot of us are you have to build up the thickness of your under eye i've taken the filler out because if you look at like the thickness of your skin on your cheek or your forehead it's thick it wouldn't under eyes like a thin piece of tissue so what we want to do in our under eyes instead of filling them up with loads of shit work on the skin first thicken the skin ipl cool laser all that jazz you've had how many cool lasers three three so what i thought is

what am i gonna do now like i've got i can't i don't want to put filler in there leave me i don't want to touch it like that but it is bad it's really wrinkly under my eyes i'd sort it out and then get an under eye fat transfer so what i'm gonna do with bleph skin pinch skin pinch so there's one of the things i've looked at which i was sending you again over the weekend is skin pinch yeah which explain that ashley what it is so basically it's a tiny pinch under eye to lift you know if you get those slight bags like an uplift for the eye yeah um so i've looked at that we'll see maybe not yet but what i am doing is cool laser which ashley's had a few of and the