Nip Tuck - Spunk Milk Latte

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

Ashley & Lauren have got some wild stories for you this week! Lauren was a very proud Mum at Soccer Aid when her daughter got to be a Mascot, but was a little less supportive at her school play and spent more time looking at the Dilf music teacher than her daughters singing. Ashley's got the latest stories that have plucked her interest like Kim K's bedroom secrets and a dirty doctor that offered more than a biscuit with his coffee's.Plus the girls discuss a social post that got a very mixed response...To sign up for Patreon for more exclusive content and full video episodes, click this link: https://patreon.com/niptuckpodTo get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email [e-mail] can also send us your beauty questions, icks, dilemma's and Slutty Susan confessionals via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hi guys and welcome to nip tuck not giving a fuck this is the podcast where we celebrate we are positive we are aspirational sometimes i'm not but today i am when we're recording i absolutely try we try we try listen we try yeah it's the best we can do that's all that matters is trying try to be aspirational exactly i'm positive exactly okay so wow that was a negative start to the episode wasn't it we're trying though okay on nip talk we want to get your voice heard yeah we need you we couldn't do it without you really so you can email us at hello at nip tuck pod.com and you can get in touch via whatsapp as well as you know we can send them you can send the blur fucking out as you know you can send in voice notes which we can play out in future

episodes don't worry though if you want to stay anonymous we're not going to blow your cover it's us that we ruin we don't ruin anyone else exactly literally all you need to do girls and boys is head over to this episode's description give it a little tap and in there you will find out how to get in touch with us it is that there's that many ways there's just exactly and we love it We love the contribution So off you go Go on Contribute

Send us some bits in Basically We don't give a Fuck Right Right We're back I've got so much to say

Not like me Oh my god Hi to everyone on Patreon Hi Hello Now we are Putting both episodes A week

Onto Patreon Yes So both of them Are on there now So you've got Your main And your boner Both on there

You can see them And we're actually Doing a competition As well aren't we We're doing a lot of competitions. Yeah, because we're so grateful for people. Obviously, we're grateful for you all anyway. But, you know, if you've gone over there

and you've become a subscriber and you've become a patron, you're like part of the gang even more. Yeah. So what we're going to do over there is competitions. The things that we recommend, you're going to be able to win them. There'll be loads of bits and bats. We're working on it. So we're constantly evolving, aren't we?

And thank you to everyone who's there. I love it. Like loads of people have been tagging me when they're at home and they're sat watching us on their TV. That's quite cool, isn't it? And do you know, we've got our close friends on Instagram as well now, which I posted on the other day, didn't I? Oh, yes.

I hope you saw that. I'm logging in today. I'm logging in today. Good. And just extra bits and bobs that we think, maybe I don't want like 50,000 people to see that, but I'm quite happy with my Patreon seeing that. Yeah, exactly. I've got a few bits from the weekend that I might pop on there for everyone.

If you go over to our episode description, again, give that a tap, it will sign you up to Patreon over there. If everything you want is on there, just tap it and have a look. what are you wearing today for the Patrioners it's not that flattering you know so it's not as flattering

as I expected stand up no why I've just snotted another baby grow you had another baby grow on at that hen do as well

what are these baby grows it was a jumpsuit and do you know it looks so good on the Zara model Lauren loves a baby grow it looks so good on the Zara model

and I looked a little bit like Steve Irwin right show us what what have you got I know it's not that flattering I don't really want to stand up I'm going to half stand up I've put a bit of weight on

that's lovely a Loewe dress yeah but I was hoping can you see right so ideally it's too big go and get it taken in oh fuck

do you know what I always say that but then when I actually go to the shop it's effort it's not there's one near my house called golden stitches

it takes an hour everything's always too big around my stomach I wish I had that problem that's where this is brave that's what Ashley's wearing she's wearing skims

so I thought it was skims dress I don't think it's meant to be tight I think it's meant to be quite loose I don't know anyway It's got room for pizza

I'm hot And I'm chafing I'm wetting It's been so hot It's cool in here isn't it It is But I've been sweaty Right Lauren

Right This weekend Go on Okay I've had the most Hectic weekend So I have been on a hen do Do you know I don't

I don't normally like hendos But it was my best friend So it was really good So we went to the Ivy And did private dining there How original What is your problem I just went to, we went to the Ivy.

To be fair, it's better than Dirty Martini. Oh God, no. How much was it? I think it was £150 each. Not for the Ivy. We went to K2, you know, the karaoke place after. I love it there. Right.

So we went to the Ivy and it was good. I'll be honest. That's contrasting. Well, because there was mums, there was young people, there was everyone. So it had to be like. Fair enough. Do you know what?

I'm going to put it out there. I don't think the Ivy has got the best atmosphere. It's not. And the food, unless Rohan's doing it, isn't the best. So I like it. I like going. It's kind of dead now. I think it's beautiful, but I think it lacks just a little bit of atmosphere.

And once you've been quite a few times, you're like... The menu's a bit like... And you start noticing that bits are falling off the wall. Oh, I've not noticed that. The bathrooms are disgusting now. Do you remember when it first opened, it was lovely with that lady stood in the middle. And now, like, people have, like, painted it with makeup. And the toilet.

are all leaking and yeah i've not noticed that it's a big chain isn't it i think it just lacks just a bit of um my favorite restaurant in manchester is peter street kitchen i've never been do you know what i don't go out i don't go out yes um gordon ramsay's just opened that lucky cat restaurant and it's meant to be really really nice as well so we need to go there um yeah so we went there then we went to firefly which was good as always always a good laugh in there and then we went to k2 karaoke yeah never been before and i was a bit like what is this gonna be like i had a fucking ball and you get your own little room i had a ball because there was like 19 of us and it was like mum's aunties and then right down to people like me like wild

people so we got that and i ended up the end of the night with my breasts out on karaoke and do know what singing is really hard lauren you've got like um a lock of hair where they're going over that's what i was trying to point at you go on singing is hard wow it's fine can you unlock it no it doesn't matter because i look bad enough on these videos me and ash have got such issues with our videos because i just totally interrupt you now you're adhd now i've gone now i don't know what we were talking now yeah now it's all kicked off i don't know what i was talking about anymore all i can think about is hard and there's a lot of hair where is the lock of the hair gone it's gone okay it's not has it you're just saying that because you know i'm going i'm going all

overstimulated it's gone yeah so singing is hard work when you're actually really trying your best as well it's difficult so yeah i went there um did you get the food in there they do food yeah did i fuck i bet no yeah the drinks were vile i drank it out spat it back in it was horrible Probably like, you know, like when you go muggle off when you're younger and you come back with like mouth ulcers and a burnt throat from like drinking petrol all week. The colour of my feet, the floor was disgusting. But, you know.

Didn't there used to be a strip club? I think there's, I don't know, it's an odd. There's something going on. There's loads of different rooms and they're very dark. Is there cameras in the rooms? Well, if there is, they've all seen my tits. Who hasn't at this point of my life? James said when I left the house, because I had a baby grow on.

So I had a jumpsuit on. You love a baby grow. And it was like there. And he was like, your tits are coming out tonight, aren't they? I don't know why I do it. You love doing it, though. And then tell us about Soccer Aid. Oh, OK.

So then I had a hangover yesterday. And then I had Soccer Aid to go to. So I've spoken to you about WeShop before. WeShop were sponsoring it. If you don't know what it is, go on the highlights. WeShop were sponsoring it. So I got to go in the hospitality suite. I mean, I've never been to a football match in my life.

Ever. Have you? yeah why like with ed and but why because you had to yeah and like when you've got a box it's quite fun because you can have a few drinks oh i've never never been normally no no no so we were in the nice bit and there was a hospitality and we could eat and drink and stuff and thea was a mascot oh so she came out on the pitch she tired today wasn't it quite late you know what i didn't take her into school till half nine i let her sleep in i rang school and i was like look she was on telly last night guys she's not that she's not a basic bitch like she was on tv last night so

she's gonna take a minute and when i dropped off i was like yes she was on telly last night yeah i was literally like so um yeah she was on telly and out she came i when i say i cried it's embarrassing i was literally like this because i could just see and all they all look so much bigger and she was so tiny with a little blonde hair she was holding hands and they said who did she hold hands i asked for tommy fury and i didn't get tommy fury who did you get someone not that's not Tommy Fiore

who was it Shmi Shmafni no it was oh shit Ben somebody Ben Bob Benny

and he does some he does some things involving sports I don't know anyway what famous people

were there I cried my eyes out what famous people were there me apart from you didn't see anyone else Tommy Fiore

yeah so playing in it Tommy Fury was there Mel C was playing she follows me on Instagram I know I thought that

when I saw her we're basically related it was really good you know it was actually a really good time I don't know who else was playing

I'm going to be honest I didn't watch the football that much and I didn't understand whose goal was ours so I kept jumping up at the wrong time but what I did enjoy

was the Mexican wave I did everyone loves the Mexican wave I loved it I was looking at it I was like I enjoyed that

do you know what I've noticed the last two weeks my Instagram's been concert heavy as yours Coldplay Beyonce

The Weeknd I would love to see The Weeknd Coldplay I really would like to see my friends hate Coldplay I really like them I just would never go to a concert I'm not a concert person it's not for me

I went to Justin Timberlake when I was 11 and when it was Parklife I saw some states leaving because I was going from Manchester wow

have you been to Parklife I used to go every year I thought you would have done I used to go every year you've got that no one realizes what like a scruffy like inside what you've got you've definitely weed in a bottle our big boss was telling us that he was going to glastonbury and i was like i need tickets i'm gonna go next year i'm gonna take ad do you get like dirty and wet and yeah disgusting i love it

i love it all do you really you know what i'm like yeah i used to go to like festivals for full-on three days and not have a shower and just party the whole time wow that's not me however i will go to the toilet and not wash my hands yeah i won't go to a festival i mean there's just listen we want to be unapologetically ourselves send us any funny park life stories yes please do there's always somebody that ends up in a cat hole stuck in the middle of the mud and everyone videos it and it goes oh yeah there is i want to go on tiktok and have a look for them there's always somebody trying to get out of the mud and everyone's like afternoon cup of tea watching people in cat holes there's always one and he's trying to get up and slip

Or when people push the toilet Do you imagine doing a pill and you get It's like Do you know how people tip cows

Oh in the receipt It's a thing No I know Who would do that What a horrible thing That's disgusting No but it's fine to tip someone in the toilet

We Actually you didn't get a chance to watch it but I watched that programme that we talked about that pill revolution one I've heard it was shite It was awful

I'm really sorry that we said We expected a lot more Go on, watch it. It was shit. Because I think we expected a lot more, well, I did, from Davina, to be honest. I don't think it was...

No shade on her. It wasn't Davina's fault, because I think, obviously, it was scripted and shit, but... Yeah, but she... They tried to talk people out of doing natural cycles. They met up with these yoga mums who were like, well, I got pregnant on natural cycles.

Yeah, but because you were probably shagging at the wrong time. I think the thing that you've got to remember with natural cycles is, it's only as good as the day to you put in. so i love that line how long have you been practicing that no it's true like um i honestly think that it works amazingly but but you don't just think it's gonna work without you doing your job you need at least three months of data and it needs to be good data which means temperature

and the ovulation tests yeah get the digital one i've been using natural cycles now so i used it before i met james i would say 18 months but then i wasn't having like regular regular sex me and james been together for a year now i've been on absolutely no protection lauren please don't promote like what and i'm not pregnant and for a year i'm not pregnant so i've used it to get pregnant as well that's the other thing so when i decide if i decide that i want to all my data's already in there so i'm just gonna switch it up i'll know when i ovulate because there's no point having pointless sex

you're doing it to make the baby at that point if you've got irregular periods and shit there's a button that you can press

to pull all the data and when you turn up to your gynecologist appointment you've got like how old is that but if you want to take regardless of natural cycles

just in general I feel like from what you said that program wasn't really informative enough and it was kind of from what you said

I've not watched it yet I will though it was almost as if there weren't other options which is not what I expected no not at all and I always refer back to this book

but have a read of this book it's called Beyond the Pill by Julianne Brighton what's the book by Davinia Taylor? Something Your Hormones that's supposed to be really good as well is it? I need to read it yes I'll have a look and tell you

and that's similar so biohacking I'm so upset because last year I really wanted to go to the biohacking summit conference thing oh my god I've always wanted to do that and I googled it the other day because that lady's

talking at it and that Tim Greg yes I have heard of him yeah and it's on next weekend so I'm going to miss it sad

I'm sure you can find it online we're going to see a podcast at the weekend we are so we will fill you in on that we're going in a

in a box in a box we're going in a box because we want to see you know like it's always good to look at what everyone else is doing

like what could we be doing better like what shows are they doing that kind of thing I'm excited because i feel like you know we're going to do something but we just still don't know what right okay thea's school play okay so um thea had a choir show um i've got to be very careful it's because they do listen so she had a show and they'd laugh with me i'm sure um and so she's got a little school choir and it had been put together very quick very very quick um and it was a show

for like music and um things from around the valley anyway get there and i guess i've got was it a waste of time they're all a waste of time you just have to do it as a mom the nativity's not though we can't makes me feel christmassy so listen to this so the cutest thing happened this little girl came out on stage because they're all different schools doing different things there was a band that had ukuleles and I've never tried not to laugh so much my shoulders doing this they were going a sailor went to sea and I was literally my shoulders were going like that and all the other mums were like and I was thinking and then the trumpets and I was literally sat there and my shoulders were going I thought I'm gonna laugh and then Thea came on and I burst out laughing

when they came on it was just like I close my eyes Thea can't sing for shit but do you know what it was and they stand like and they stand like this

and the guy picking his nose and he sat there like this and then the trumpet oh my god it was it was comical my mum

if she'd have come would have been hysterical she would have been terrible but it was cute and it was nice and yeah there was a man the teacher

so if anyone's kids go to haslingdon high school the man who actually like organized it was fit head of um music or some shit fit really attractive dill vibes yeah very rare gray hair tall um and yeah and i was literally i turned to molly who i was sat with one of the girls mums and i was like fear's going to that high school i was like let me tell you how many signups that man has just give them to that high school and he was really sound but yeah it was really good and it was just really funny and it was really cute and they just kids are cute aren't they but it's funny like and no one else was laughing and i thought oh come on like it's funny it is it's funny in a nice way

like they're not great some of them were some of them weren't right i've got two current affairs stories for you okay you talk now i'm bored of my voice i bet everyone else i saw this one on daily mail right this story is gonna remind you how fucking weird people are and they're amongst us and they're fucking odd so whenever i say things like don't put your kids on social media and all this shit like just remember guys people are fucked and they're amongst us people i still still cannot get over and it lives in my head rent free when you and i think lucas told me that people put poo in the fridge and make a dildo out of it.

That will never... People are weird. ...be all right. I will never forget that. They poo and put it and make it into a dildo. That is... Are you ready for this one? Yeah.

So it was on Daily Mail, my usual scrum. Oh, jeez. It's so scruffy. There's this girl working in a GP practice. Okay. and one of the GPs kept going into her, hey, I love, do you want a coffee?

Lovely. Yes, please. Oh, yeah, I will. Yeah, go on. I'll have a bit of milk and a couple of sugars. When she drank it a few times, she noticed at the bottom of the coffee there was some weird substance.

And it kept happening. I still can't be arsed making my own, so I'm going to let him carry on. It kept happening. And then she noticed every time, she started clocking like, he's doing something weird to my coffee. and she got weird vibes off him by the way this person is a gp and is caring for the general

fucking and he is amongst us he's he's putting the heart thing on your chest and asking you to he's looking at your kids as well next thing she notices in his pocket whenever he brings her the coffee is a sample pot just like the outline of a sample pot let me just speak right she starts collecting the whatever the fuck it is sludge at the bottom of the coffee i'm sorry who's got time for that i just say no i don't want a coffee thank you i get i get it though like time to check the sludge at the bottom well she knew what another one she thought it was right okay yeah it was sperm so um this guy had been making this girl a gp had been making the such as these coffees with sperm in the bottom and but not fresh sperm yeah it was fresh sperm

anyway so did he wank into the coffee in the kitchen or did he wank into the pot and then put it in he wanked into that's so dangerous to wank into a hot coffee and also it would congeal anyway because i've now got a vision of him studying the wanking into the story gets better okay i just need to know details sometimes well i've got the details for you so can you get pregnant from junkies hopefully not so then this poor girl has to collect this sludge that she suspects and then she reports it to police and they probably think you fucking weird and it turns out it is sperm so they do a dna and it is and it's his is that illegal now i've never seen in the law who wrote that law it's even illegal to spit in people's

any bodily fluids on purpose that's that's illegal and what's it come under like bad nurse anyway listen so if you wiped your snot on someone yeah if you spit in someone's face and stuff it's like that's a really yeah it's all the same babe anyway so never to wipe my not on anyone again they this guy it's gone to court this week and it's in court and the last i read of it don't quote me on quote me but basically his lawyer's excuse of the sperm in the cup was that every time they'd run out of milk every time this man went for a shit he jizzes so when he was making a coffee he had he's come on his hands from having the poo and then no there you go people are weird okay is this in this country yes that's in america that

sounds like an america thing babe it's not it's in this country i'll send it google it google it guys okay next one kim kardashian has said she only has sex with the lights off i think that's really common i'm sorry not for kim though if you were kim kardashian you'd be having do you think she looks like that in real life i know she does my friends have my face yeah but do you think her body looks like that said she's like five foot like and she's thin like really really tiny i wonder why she do you think kanye's give her a complex because have you seen kanye's girlfriend she's beautiful she shaved her head off and made it blonde and she have you seen the clothes he's had a wearing i know but her face and her body is just gorgeous but yeah weird the whole thing

again people are weird um but yeah i thought i read that and i was like oh kim or do you think she said that so everyone likes her to be more relatable i reckon she's quite freaky if you watched the sex tape before she's got the lights on in that to it before she's got her lights on in that yeah maybe that's why she doesn't in case someone makes a video again have you watched the paris hilton one she's naughty she and that dick's really yeah it's like a banana everything if you're gonna do one um yes i have watched i have watched them um what's the other one that really wanted to watch oh you sent me one the other day and now i'm people are weird now i'm scarred for like lauren sent me a sex tape the other day and it was cold light of day i'm sat

in my kitchen i fucking had to watch it i'm not telling you what was on there i needed to share it with somebody because i was so disturbed i needed somebody like a problem shared is a problem hard that's like when you see roadkill and you go yeah and my mom always goes i've told you i don't want to see that oh i saw it no now that's enough of us talking absolutely sometimes it gets really weird in here doesn't it people people are weird i'm weird so i know say this right tell me how you pronounce the word that you've just said w-e-i-r-d weird say it again weird i say weird and i feel like you say weird weird and i say weird anyway we'll be back after the break with what's on our tits and your slutty susan confessionals but first oh my god my favorite

part of the podcast it's our weekly butt plug are you a loyal listener of nip suck do you set an alarm on a friday ready for a new release well do you then you need to do yeah you need to tell your nearest and dearest about nip talk i'm sure by now you've done it but you might be a new listener there's thousands of them so if you haven't told your friends like please do because if you tell five people and they tell five people and they tell five people and before you know i can quit my day job um spread the love guys spread spread the love and spread the pod spread the pod not chlamydia okay share this episode on whatsapp that's the best way to give love just share it everywhere tell everyone they do anyway mate i know they all do it's really nice i love it

right what's on our tits we've got something we oh my god this is that was controversial that was a lot right so basically a clip went on our socials now we don't have control over our socials bear this in mind we work with a lot of men here you can't say that we can't blame them we said it yeah but it was the caption was bad i said it as a joke so what happened is we discussed sections i i think that caption was horrendous i was really upset by that and i made them delete it straight away we discussed um we discussed sections um c-sections and the fact that you can ash was saying you can have an elective one should you want without paying for it without paying people ask me this question all the time um like are you too pushed to push did you pay and not

everyone can afford a c-section it's like well it's not about that about the money it's your body you choose if you want to have it so it was more of an empowering speech of if you want to have one you can have one and do you know what the comments on there were disgusting yeah so i think it's always good for us to have a debate and i absolutely welcome a debate like i'm more than happy for someone to come be like girls i actually don't agree with that because it's but it's the way it's said sometimes someone called us wet wipes for having c-sections yeah and this is the problem right this is the problem i think they actually said you don't deserve kids if you can't give birth to them there's certain people that and this is what's wrong with women so stop listening

because we don't want you here oh yeah there was a few that said not listening anymore yeah fine don't then and it was because what they were saying is basically it's a woman's natural thing to push we all need to man up a bit and i thought it what this is why men do better than women a lot of the time so fucking people like you no we don't need to woman up why should we have to be in labor and agony split our assholes split our fanny holes get a prolapse if you want to do that yes that is the way they are right there giving birth is the most natural thing in the world and i've got friends who have fully embraced it and they've had amazing birth experiences i've had horrific without we need to give this the airtime as well yeah yeah both yeah i've got friends who have

fully embraced the birthing experience have had absolutely magical birds i'm very jealous yeah my friend shells them like peas i would love to be able to experience that they've not torn nothing and they've recovered really really quickly yeah you're right you're right okay so if i was that confident which i'm not i get really bad anxiety yeah if you were confident that that was gonna happen i would love to my friends have done that and it's been a mixed bag some of them have had problems afterwards and some of them have literally enjoyed every single second of it and i tried i tried and i ended up with an emergency section so i think the whole point of it was let's not put women down because they didn't have a natural vaginal birth like let's just say that any birth

is amazing and you do what's best for you and i think the point was taken so wrong and people were saying and they were saying that we cost the nhs we pay for that hon i've paid for that we've all been paying for the nhs like even if you don't go private don't even think about what these people are saying no i just think we need to all be a little bit more supportive of each other and i just think some of them some of the comments on there weren't a healthy debate which i we've all got different opinions it was how it was said it was in a bitchy tone and i just thought oh really like are we not past this shit now as women so this is new thing i sent you at the weekend and basically when you have a c-section it's called an assisted c-section that's interesting

so like we were saying we i do i think i'll try again if i have another baby honestly i think i will try because i do feel like but then i think i'm scared it's one of the most natural things in the world and i would like to i would love to experience that whole thing me too actually it's really sad that we didn't get to experience that yet and the new thing that they're doing is this um c-section where the mother pulls the baby out have you seen when courtney kardashian gave birth and pulled the baby from her own vagina no i know but have you seen that but this is the new the new thing how would that work with regards to hygiene well the doctor certain doctors now you can go to do this that's interesting i don't know what i think if you want to do it and you can

it might be nice yeah i would like maybe could your partner pull it out yeah i'd maybe prefer that because if you drop it oh shit no i'm fucked up already um so yeah that was interesting now there's this app but can i just say just one thing us talking about this is never to say that you have to agree with everything we say no you don't no but let's just all say it in and let's all have a healthy debate yeah rather than calling women who have a c-section a wet wipe fuck off i wipe you with my white the bloody floor with you stop listening anyway okay right enough of that um there's this app have you downloaded it the yucca app i don't want to know i downloaded it about someone on our patreon one of the girls on patreon sent us three years ago i downloaded this

and it's this app and people send it me all the time because you know i'm into all this i don't want to know shit um so it's this app where you scan a product any product and it comes up with how toxic it is it's good that no like i did it and i got obsessed with it and i had to delete and then it gives you alternatives as to similar thing that's got less toxic one thing i will say dry shampoo you can't get better than the toxic dry shampoo and dry shampoo is very very very necessary though we've spoken about this before the um all natural alternative is it any good it was expensive it was 16 quid and basically the reason why dry shampoo and deodorant is so toxic the spray one so wherever you can always buy a roll-on deodorant right because you're not putting

it into the air and it stays for hours in the air the particles so it was like a powder it was horrendous horrendous and this is where this is where we we pick our battles when we say things like do you know dry shampoo is quite toxic that doesn't mean we're now saying everybody don't buy it we're just letting you know everything i can't not use dry shampoo right where you can and i can't say to myself right i'm not going to use dry shampoo but when i've had a drink i'm going to smoke 20 lambert and butler like it doesn't add up so we're human two things i'm really passionate about non-toxic pans non-toxic pans for you your family massive absolutely massive basically if you cook with teflon coated or coated pans it is a massive endocrine disruptor and it's really bad

for your hormones it can cause infertility it's very bad for young girls especially um and basically i don't even know what my pan's made of the plastic goes on to all your food then you're eating all the food that's right then so non-toxic pans and uh organic feminine care products yes i agree why the fuck are we putting bleach tampons up our vagina inside us for hours still yeah fucked up stop doing it shouldn't be sold i don't um unless we're using the tampons day ones they're good do you know they've got the cbd oil is it called day yeah yeah yeah yeah inside them but it's annoying that they're on a subscription yeah and sainsbury's have bought their own brand of organic tampons out and they're under two pounds there you go shove that up your fanny yeah shove

that up your fanny and chung it and enjoy it right go on bitch slutty susan oh my throat's hurting i don't know if i want to do this okay is everybody ready everyone's ready we've got there's some holes in this house there's some holes in this house there's some certified freak seven days a week wet ass pussy right come on do you know i did that in karaoke and i got on all fours and did the dance when it comes out you just want to be oh you just want to be a slut okay hi girls and lucas love listening to the pod while i'm driving to uni or to my boyfriend's it gives all the good vibes makes a smile on those mornings i'm rushing around trying to get my little girl to nursery on time drinking coffee while running into a lecture you go bitch i'm a

single mom with an almost four year old and it's safe to say i've kissed my fair amount of frogs same i've met a boy at uni who is literal perfection in every aspect i've never been one to be adventurous in the bedroom but he makes me feel so comfortable i think that's a big thing isn't it we've been using things and trying things that i would never have done before and i love it we also use condoms which no other boy i've been with has even suggested why is he suggesting this this is this is fine as i've always been on the pill but also not fine as i've always suffered with water infections tell me about it and thrush after other sexual partners i've not had one infection in three months since being with him so i used to get horrific water infections and

they definitely got worse when i was sleeping with scruffy people i don't mean scruffy but i mean like you know you i knew after right so like if you had a boyfriend i'm not even no if you had a boyfriend that you don't think was being faithful i'm telling you it gives you more water is a water infection from poo going up your urethra no no that's e coli but that can it can be it's anything no that's in the mouth i think it's anything that disrupts down below but i will tell you when i've been cheated on in the past i have noticed because i've got more water infections and if you keep getting recurrent thrush and bb that man ain't the right man this is what i'm saying to you because depends who you're with and your ph and anyway sorry okay anyway it's early doors and

we're getting to know each other i'm also getting a bit more comfortable so when we'd had a few drinks a couple of weeks back we were switching up positions and he was going a bit harder than normal we have to stop to have a water break he looks down and says oh i've lost the condom to which realization hit me that it was definitely inside me he's got such a reassuring aura that when he said oh don't panic i literally lay down and close my eyes while he puts his fingers inside me to fish it out this has literally been my worst nightmare nightmare however it was out before we knew it and we got a new one ready to put on and we carried on like it never happened another situation that's always 10 times worse in your head and i'm sure other people have had worse

things stuck inside them have you ever had a condom stuck inside you no i don't think i have either anyway if you need to fish them out she's just letting us know that it's not as difficult as you might think thank you thank you for that my darling right i feel like we've talked too much we're done for today i've had enough i've had enough you've had enough of us you're probably bored and you don't want to discuss you're really wrong are you even still that hello hello is anybody there everyone's just turned it down anyway remember on nip talk we want to get your voice heard because then you will hear less of ours you can email us at hello at niptuckpod.com and you can get in touch via whatsapp that means voice notes as well so we can play them out in

future episodes i swear i've already done this don't do it how many times but don't worry if you want to remain anonymous we have done this already i say the same these right okay guys so that rounds up today thank you so much for listening don't forget we love it when you leave a little review especially a personal one we absolutely love that now if you head over to our socials and give the bio a little tap then you can get your voices heard you can find out about our patreon and get in touch with us we absolutely love that and we will be back on friday with a bonus episode which is all about you so if you send in your dilemmas beauty questions anything else then you may get featured on friday's episode if you're lucky bye guys have a lovely week

guys bye Thanks for watching!