Nip Tuck - Sun Loungers & Baby Showers

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

Lauren's back from her holidays and not everything was as cosy as expected... I mean have you ever considered storming down to reception with a toilet seat under your arm? Let's not get started on reserving sun loungers... Do you get the ick if you see your fella joining the morning stampede and would you dare throw someone else's towels off if the sign says no reserving beds? Ashley's got another pest stealing cheese in the house and this time it's not a mouse! The girls share their top suggestions in What We Bought This Week including something potentially revolutionary for curing hiccups and how should you deal with extravagant baby shower invites when times are tough?Head over to our socials @niptuckpod and click the link in our bio to find our YouTube, where full video episodes will be released every Wednesday at 5pm. If you're a Patreon member or Apple Podcast Subscriber, you get the Wednesday main episode the day before at 5pm, but if you're a Patreon member, you'll now be able to watch the Friday Bonus too!Get in touch with your questions, dilemmas and Slutty Susie's via our Whatsapp or email [e-mail]

So James went, right, let's take the toilet seat off and let's go to reception with the toilet seat. And I was like, no. And he was fully, he was like, it'd be great content. And I was like, he was like, well, walk with the toilet seat. And be like, we've just checked in. I was like, no. Touching a toilet seat.

Oh, he would have. I ran into the house. It was where I thought it was. I got back in. The man drove me. I literally, in the queue, I was like, guys, you're going to have to move. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. My husband's a twat. My husband's a twat. I got to the gate before them. well we do you know we did that this time i drank four vodkas on james um james drove anyway back to my mantic right yeah men listen the fuck up and stop eating cheese and ham out of the fridge guys hello and welcome to your weekly dose of nip tuck pod so please bear with us it's the hottest day that it's ever been whatever in existence it's very very warm very warm is it

like that hot well i heard that it because james like hyper fixate some things and his hyper fixation for the last few days has been the temperature and and ringing everyone at home like is it 30 degrees i was like brown oh yeah you went on holiday we need to talk i've been on holiday mate um yeah he's hyper fixation he's been ringing home and being like is it 30 degrees yes then the next person i heard it hit and i'm looking at him like you already know like what is your fixation with 30 anyway it was it's hotter here than it was in so bear with what we got up what what we got so basically bear with us obviously we've not slept much either um my toes are wet what have we got coming up this week we're going to talk about my holiday um i'll give you a little bit

of an update on my hotel and holiday city and then obviously we're going to talk about what we bought this week stunning right let's get into it now first things first as always we will be releasing our main episode every wednesday plus our exclusive bonus on patreon on friday but you can watch us in person on youtube you can see the sweat dripping off our heads honestly youtube is like where it's at so basically head over to youtube where you can watch our wednesday episode if you want a little bit extra that is totally fine as well you can do that on patreon or on apple subscribe so head over to our socials at nip tuck pod when you can find all of the links to these gorgeous destinations you can dip in dip out as you see fit right we need to hear

from you though guys yeah we do so basically anything like hacks dupes tips tricks questions funny stories questions for us funny stories debates current affairs send us the article what you think on this girls like literally if you see your funny tiktok or anything and you think that's nip tuck coded send it over also we're quite good at advice impartial advice obviously we're not doctors or therapists but if you have something we can try we can try that's the best we can do if you've got like a dialect like a debate going on in your whatsapp group where girls are divided between a specific situation throw it on to us and we'll tell you what the nip tuck girls think whoo anyway right let's go i've just come back off holiday right right you

it the room must have been bad for you to do that right so if you don't or were you in a really angry right yeah so i went to ella hellier um which what was the resolution none did they see your post i don't think they cared um so i went to ella hellier was there no pr damage crisis management whenever i gave my room number they gave me a funny look so they probably put probably flags up like yeah prick so that's where we went the reason the reason that i did that in it so basically if you don't follow me on instagram i don't know why you wouldn't but if you don't when i landed i was hot it was busy traveling with the baby it was a lot and we got there and in my head having looked at their instagram their website their marketing team

margaret i maybe stupidly was expecting like premium premium like five star fucking i cost to the net premium when i think about it though i didn't pay premium and i think this is where i've got to be fair about it really was her half term as well you can't slag off somewhere for not being as good as somewhere else when it's half the price what did you expect really you buy cheap you pay twice so we went and i bought still from the marketing and everything this is what i had in my head yeah so then we get there and reception first of all was full full there was queues to check in now let me just say people still with their bag and oh no right so let me just say first of all i have been our wedding hotel for example was about a three star it was no that

That hotel was gorgeous. No, I didn't stay there. None of us stayed there. Only a few guests stayed there. All the families, we were in like a full-on plastic cup. Well, the one we stayed in wasn't expensive, but it was really nice. No, the one I stayed in was like three-star wristband tackle.

And I was all right with that because I knew what I was getting. You go to Spain, apartments, they're like that. If I think that's what I'm getting, I'm good with that. And that's the kind of holiday I'm having. Like you were mentally... But I'm thinking I'm getting sheer luxury. so i pulled i did say the instagram looks really good so and that anyway there's queues of people

checking in now i would have expected if it was a five star that somebody would take you to the side give you a drink sit you down ipad ipad check you in yeah present for the child you know that you know yeah like the good the good like sani resort they give the kid a little package and stuff to keep them entertained while you that is what i was thinking so i was in a mood and there was this big massive queue and i was and then we got to the front and i was i was pissed off by this point and then the queue was that long that we had to end up it's taking that long take our own bags to our room which again if you're expecting it fine a buggy and two bags and it was fucking miles away and it was hot so that that's when i really started getting annoyed i

can imagine then we get to the room and i had paid for the most expensive room that there was It was a suite. A suite. A sea view swim up pool suite. I know you kept saying, I've got a swim up room. Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't think I even went in the water. So I got there and I opened it and this was not a suite.

I could not swing a cat in that room. Oh, fuck off. And I went in and I was like, all right. Is this a wardrobe? I was sending her videos. It was like a little living room and I was just like, right, we've got a travel cot in there. We've got a pram in there.

So then I'm looking for the wardrobes. Two Where do you put your suitcases in that scenario? Yeah, on the floor Two cupboards With eight hangers in each Now those rooms fit four people I'm sorry, two adults and two kids

You'd have lost your fucking mind So then I was angry And the lighting was really poor And I don't, I like light and bright And it was dark So I was very angry It looked like a long thin room Nothing good about long and thin

So I was really angry then And so I stormed out onto the balcony and it was about three o'clock and my Seaview swim up room didn't have any sun on it after 12. So the reason I got that room was so Tommy could get in the car for his nap and I could swim it.

12 o'clock, no sun. I paid for the most expensive room in the fucking place. So then I was mad. So then I thought, right, you're getting it. So then I took a picture on Instagram. I started typing, saying anyone who was going to go to this place, maybe think twice.

Me, me, me. They didn't care. not one bit then i rang reception i was like this is not good enough and he was like okay what would you like us to do i was like well it's a bigger room he's like well there aren't any and i was like that's well and then he went then the toilet seat was a bit broken so james went right let's take the toilet seat off and let's go to reception with the toilet seat and i was like no and he was fully he was like he was like it'd be great content and i was like he was like we'll walk with the toilet seat and be like we've just checked it i was like touching a toilet oh he

would have so yeah there was those little issues then um then i calmed down so then we went down to the pool area and i had a couple of really nice cocktails so things i calmed a little and then i put another story on saying well for the price now i did get quite a lot of people replying agreeing with me when we were there yeah no on patreon you didn't see it so on patreon they it wasn't bad like that don't get me people were like lauren we didn't want to tell you but like it wasn't like fucking hell hotel it was a it was a nice four star but people said they'd have diarrhea yeah diarrhea and vomiting which james did get a funny tummy but i don't think it was from the hotel but when we got there there was a couple there that i haven't seen the girl

in years and years and she was there and they were they're they're used to the good stuff and they were stood there in the queue next to us and i knew what she was thinking and she went just been for lunch they only had two types of wine she was like either she said can i have wine list please and they were like yes we have white or red and she was like yeah the list and they were like one white one red now that to me wouldn't have mattered because i'm not a wine person and james was like it's a bit much that lauren i was like no for some people you've paid the money you're five star you want that's what you're into i'm not but some are anyway she actually booked a flight home early i think that was a bit excessive it wasn't bad i'd do that

there was a degree of brits abroad there which i'm fine with when i'm being the brit abroad yeah but i wasn't on this holiday so then i was just annoyed there was a man queuing up and at 10 a.m he was scottish i'm sorry scottish guys um he was like hello and he was they're mental mental and he was stood at the thing and he went you're all right love i'll have a could i have a blue lagoon cocktail that's fucking hilarious at 10 a.m what an icon what an icon and i just thought there was a degree of that i thought i sought the shitty room out well it helped me to have the cocktails were great the food was nice the whole time um i had so many people coming over oh i had a mental breakdown on the beach and cried hysterically why so this is really listen

this whole episode i can just take the lead um so this is why i had a little mental breakdown because we got there and quite a few people came over and said that they love the pod which is so nice so lovely so amazing but then i felt a bit self-conscious because i was you know when you know like i felt a bit like like who's looking kind of thing and tommy and james and me were playing in the pool and we made a faux pas a parenting faux pas nappy he kind of slipped a little bit and he kind of he didn't go in underwater but basically there's like a little lip and his little hand went over it we grabbed him it was fine but there was just that second where there's a bit of a couple for where i jumped to get him and i went and i made more of a fuss

he was fine then yeah and everyone stared at us and that straight away i started you know swallowing because i was really upset i thought then i just got over it we went down to the beach took him down to the beach in his prom and the beach was a slant a little bit like that he was laying down in his pram i fell out no he didn't i didn't think to make sure that his head was at the top angle of the yeah so it was so i was sunbathing he was asleep and the entire fucking pram tipped yeah he was fine that happened to me once in zara i jumped up i've put my bags on the back it's just it's happy it happens i burst into tears and i was literally crying my eyes out james like he's he's fine he's in the pre-strapped in he's fine he's not even really

woken up and i was just like who's watching me they're gonna say that i'm an awful mom and i was literally had a full-on fucking mental breakdown i was like you don't understand this job and then afterwards i calmed down i was just it was i felt like that's really silly no but that was two incidents where if someone had been watching me they could easily have looked at it and been like she was sunbathing and a baby fell out of his pram like that is the truth i was so upset from the story i was just so upset but listen we we had such a good holiday and i would go back to that hotel if they'll have you they probably won't and there was a lot of people felt really guilty because they were messaging me like i'm going next week and i was like no no it's

not like fucking hell it's just not a certain standard but then i didn't i didn't pay that so come on be fair about it but there was a girl that i just need to shout out called chelsea yeah um she came over to us huge huge pod fan her and her friends and one her friend's sister was diagnosed with cancer so they're all doing race for life for her like they're starting couch to 5k and they said the thing that's been getting her through is the pod so i thought i'll just say hi to her and well done keep running good cause keep going girl love that yeah so that's my holiday update oh james told me some icks as well some holiday icks he has and this is from a man on girls no on men so i just thought i'd see what we thought about that so he said he noticed

a few things that he didn't feel happy with anymore about men he said he said he said first of all that men are just not men anymore in his opinion so he said we were around the pool he said these men were just he said flexing taking selfies he said and i thought mate you're on fucking holiday give it a rest he said they were looking around he said now just look at the thought you're a bloke have a pint sit down speak look at your wife's tits or anyone's tits and just chill out he said they were literally just he said i thought poses poses and he said they just i thought and he said their outfits were so coordinated i mean i dressed him but other thing he's got a thing about his straight mustaches he said it gives him the ick people shouldn't just have a

straight mustache like pubes yeah like a he saw a few and he's like no and then the other thing is he said he saw some grown men alex i bet you've got these in jelly shoes shut the fuck yeah he Like the ones that we've got, like the netted ones. More like a slider, but with a jelly vibe. And he was like, no, okay. So I thought I'd share that with you. And that's basically my holiday wrapped up. I have one man rant for this week.

Can I just ask a quick question? What? Do you do the towel thing? Yeah, she does. Have you ever watched James run in the morning to put towels on loungers? He wouldn't be arsed. I did it. If I saw...

lauren's the control freak if i saw my partner doing that i'd have to leave i made him do it one morning so 7 30 a.m i did the towel run uh if you left it till eight there was none right with the towel situation though i just take someone's towels off and lie on it yeah i fucking do yes i do what if they have belongings because what i tend to do i don't care like no i do care if you if you've left a belonging fine yeah but if it's 10 a.m and you are not there and you've just left towels bitch your towels going then you're getting you're moving yeah and i'll just say like and also do you know what at some hotels the staff actually there were signs everywhere saying we were around and if and they take the time if it's just which

Which is fucking fair enough. It is. However, I was the 7.30 a.m. I put my towels out because I want a sunbed. It's the hotel's problem. No, but I don't think it should be allowed. And then if people come over and they're like, oh, my towel was here.

I was like, no, it wasn't. I didn't see it. The hotel must have moved it because you're not allowed to reserve. Well, what I do, because I know there's fucking bitches like you about to take my fucking seat. Do you clip them?

No, I get belongings and scatter. So I go down with my towels. some form of short a denim because it doesn't blow away a thick denim short some toys a book that you've never read in your life a book that I bought simply for this

a few of Tommy's little toys and I scatter them how to get rid of ringworm or something and I scatter them perhaps a pair of sliders and I scatter them to go on holiday is great for those few days but it actually requires a lot of effort

I spoke to my friend yesterday and she's staying somewhere absolutely gorgeous in Barbados oh where um tell us where sandy lane ah and she was messaging me and she was like but she didn't have to pull i feel overstimulated like traveling with kids and i've just got here and i want to cry yeah and i was like do you know what like you're so right like you do like you had that breakdown yeah because it was all too much me and my friend were on a plane recently and we were with the kids and she started crying as well and she was just like and i just didn't even have to say

anything to her I just looked at her and took the baby off do you know what it is like going on holiday is amazing but and we're great

that we why do men not feel like this though because they don't do anything do you remember when Ed forgot the passport

oh my god that was fucking horrendous well I forgot fears didn't I when she was going with her grandma and grandad

and I had to go and take it off Ed left my passport at home and they had to get a taxi we just had a baby that was bad

and we he was like in the taxi on the way there I was like have you got all of the passports yeah yeah the way they go yeah i was like right okay and he kept saying in his head one two three four and then it happened and he kept being like we don't have to leave this early that annoys me

when you say that but you just don't know traveling with kids it could be sick in the car yeah like you just don't know and and then yeah he turned to me and he was white and i knew straight away and i was like he'd forgot one of the kids no it's mine was it yours my passport no but i mean when he was counting oh yeah he forgot that there was another yeah he forgot snowy existed well what'd you do i said to him cash now i stayed quiet yeah you did actually i said give me some cash now i ran outside i said i'm leaving all my shit here you just go through because we were already on the minutes luckily we live quite near to the airport i gave this man 100 quid and i went you drive as fast as you physically can i ran into the house it was where i thought it was

i got back in the man drove me i literally in the queue i was like guys you're gonna have to move i'm so sorry okay i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i got to the gate before them well we do you know we did that this time i drank four vodkas on james um james drove james and i had to be parking do you know when you so i'm always like uber just get in an uber and get out get in an uber and get out no no no oh the parking oh hell oh he won't he won't he wants to park i want to drive my own car when i get when i get off my holidays i just want to get in my own car that's sad that's sad as well right so on the way there he got the wrong car park so easy on the minutes because he said we don't need to so i had to go in not on something

yeah yeah yeah so i had to go in on my own in the lanyard queue whatever and then he so i had to start that and then on the way back we landed at the wrong terminal so it was compared to where he'd left our car we had to walk in that heat inside with no air con with two cases and a baby for 30 minutes to get to the other terminal i was seething could he not have just walked and then picked you up it's too complicated because you can't you can't go anywhere in the and i said if we'd have got an uber so what i was gonna say is though traveling right you got your holiday fantastic you have a few days what three four days in the middle when you've got used to the new routine and you've settled before that you have to buy everyone's holiday clothes not just

your own all the kids because they grow all the kids articles all the medicine and all the faff you've got to buy it all that starts months the the cables the cables the adapters yeah months before that yeah then the week off you have to pack for you your husband all the kids the night before you have that anxiety yeah because you're getting up really early and it's stressful what have we forgot and it's just anxiety then you get up at like three in the morning tired stress then you have to travel all day to get to your destination then you have to unpack and then on the way home it happens again and you only really get a few days when you've settled in and the kids have got into the routine however i fucking love a holiday but it's a big thing that's not gonna

be that fun but i'm just gonna say you know what i went on sheen and i bought everyone's shit off sheen like the kids um and there's a few bits for me actually and i'm just gonna leave it in the bag and before the holiday i'm gonna throw it all in the case yeah and if we want to leave it there i can leave it there because it's literally like a pound like literally like i got for snowy um it was like four pairs of cycling shorts and four matching vests done and it was like seven quid four days done yeah there was a girl that i met also on holiday that was from liverpool i think that's such a good hack she had the nicest bikini on and she was talking she was a pod fan and i was like i love your bikini and she said she it was a brand that i can't remember the name of expensive

and she'd put the image into aliexpress and she said it was great and i can't remember this image she reversed image done it and just got it and she looked i mean i she would have looked sensational in in a bin bag but that's the thing i didn't know oh my god also had a phone call about surgery yes yes you did so basically on friday next week so i'm in london next week speaking at sxsw this podcast going out a bit later because we're bulking before the baby bear that in mind but while i'm there i'm having a consultation with with the person i have usually like my usual half did half didn't he's fitting me in so going to see him i think i might take ed with me because why i think he arrives ed was like you are not staying in london on your own ah i thought you

meant i thought you went to the consultation it's actually way tonight with tom yeah so if i go into life ed is in trouble um so he said you like i'm gonna be like 35 weeks pregnant in london by but i was like i'll be fine and he was like no i'm coming so we're having a little we're going to car bond the next day i know so he's gonna meet me yeah staying in soho house gorgeous gonna go for this consultation then i had a call yesterday about another thing that i'm doing you know the consultation yeah you've done the zoom i've done this as have i i've also done a zoom for this particular procedure yeah you're going for the face to face do you think you'll do it what are your like percentages at the minute because when i had the zoom he pretty much said to me yes you're

suitable yes we can do it there wasn't much it was either like mine's the recovery right and when because we're coming up to our busiest time of year after i have the baby so i have the baby i have a few weeks off low time however i might have to go to ibiza three weeks after i've had the baby I'll tell you about that. Right. Yeah, mad. Wow. Remember when I was going to do

Butlin's Weekender ten days after the baby? Why would I ever? And I was like, I'll be fine. Were you not fine? I was hemorrhaging for one. Oh, really?

Yeah, I'm still bleeding. I think I'm going to be okay. I think you'll be fine. I'm getting a hyperbaric oxygen chamber in the house. Oh, that's good for surgery. Is that like the condom you go in? You can rent it.

Is it more like the thingy? £700 a month you rent it. Is that it? Compared to what you pay? Anyone can use it. Yeah, I think you pay about £150 a session. Yeah, and anyone can use it. Yeah, and you can...

I'll do that after my next surgery. So, sorry. It speeds up recovery by 70%. It's your oxygen. This operation, how sure are you at this point, do you think? Yeah, like 80. I'd say I'm 70, but you're doing it first. I've got that.

Then I had a phone call about another one, which is a body one. So that one's a face one. this one's a body one and this one is one i'm fucking no like that's this is gonna be like i'm gonna have a porn star body like it's what is it can you it's everything but you don't not it i'm saying you don't need anything i don't mean that in like a yeah but no it's sculpting but you are sculpted no no i am not well not right now but like the arms sculpted you've just had none they were gorgeous is it are we looking after baby after baby obviously i have to be no i mean like what areas might be affected after baby yeah and a bit

of tightening do you see my face then tightening tightening so do you want to come to the consult with me i'll say yes and then not come because that's what happens i don't want to promise but maybe yeah unless we do it all on that day when we're going to do yeah the other stuff yes yes yes also lucas we've um we've got a team day out for our moles yes we need to do that no no we have we have we're ready we're not on a date but we've got um we're ready uh companies contacted us found a really good one we found a really good one we actually will do a video about it because i think it's very educational and they can do that bracket test on me let's do it all in one exactly so this surgery i'm really i want it i want i want it you don't need anything i want

no neither do you well there we go i want you to do the other one so i can copy it because i'm desperate for it but i need you to do it first fine okay but that's a winter jobby that that is a winter jobby i've got a consult in july for the blefs and brow lift that's a winter jobby i'm doing that with my guy that's a that's a 90 it's just when he's fantastic yeah so sorry we've just surgery surgery anyway back to my manic right yeah men listen the fuck up and stop eating cheese and ham out of the fridge right so it's half term so i have to make sandwiches for packed lunches yeah yeah okay i order a pack of ham there's four pieces of ham in the pack right they go in with the fat fingers and they just do this do you know what annoys me about men

they eat raw dogging and they eat unconsciously like literally like just but they don't have my ham you fucker but you know i think they don't enjoy the food they're subconscious the brain turns off and they just lauren lauren it's yeah whatever fine eat the ham you fat fuck but that Ham is for a child. It's for your children. It's for a child's lunchbox. How could you? So at 10 o'clock at night,

mummy goes to the fridge to get the ham and cheese. Where's the ham and cheese? Let me smell your fingers. So then I'm like, that's weird. Like I ordered, I ring fenced the ham and cheese. So then I'm like, hi, do you know where the ham and cheese is? Oh, I ate it. Right, well, are you going to go to Sainsbury's now

to buy me some ham and cheese. No. I agree. Everyone else's husband must do that as well. It's like James does it. If I buy a really lovely packet of crisps, right? I don't eat that much. It's just my one little thing that lasts two seconds.

And when they do it, it's not like he enjoys it as he eats it. No. His brain just shuts down unconsciously. Shoveled. Disgusting. Like I sit and I savour. He just shovels and then I'll go to get it

and there's one left. and he thought I didn't realise I ate that much like why the ham and cheese and he literally will

yeah they're like babies aren't they and the grated cheese he will eat absolutely like that he will drink milk from the carton

I do that fucking rancid he will drink milk he will eat cheese and my ham but the ham is the one the ham is the one

I agree because you need your ham there's only four slices of ham there you who the fuck sits and eats just four pieces

of ham no I agree because when you make a sandwich for kids there's not much filling that you can really do other than ham like tuna mayo

the kids love it's an effort making tuna mayo ham is splat done not great for them but easy

one thin sliced splat tonic man would not there's one though which one is it that has absolutely nothing like what's it called in it

is it called naked ham no it's literally not got any shit in it I get told off if I buy ham because it's but ham is just an elite sandwich

like it's the easiest thing um and yeah they they just like and when they don't tell you that something's running out so like the ketchup for example like i don't even eat ketchup like but the kids and he yeah they eat ketchup and then like i'll open the fridge and the kids like ketchup mommy ketchup and it's all gone cereal cereal leave a tiny not even enough blue roll blue roll so what you do i toothpaste i have notes on my phone the second i use the last of the i go on my phone on my shopping and i tell alexa loo roll or whatever it is if you don't i will buy it i will sort it if you don't tell me it's run out i'm gonna urgently need it lauren gone now you've got

your um mansion you can start ordering your loo roll tiktok shop i know i'm gonna start finally one of the things when we moved in and we've got more space like it was to start do you order i've never ordered anything off tiktok i'm gonna have a do you order it off tiktok shop we use who gives a crap oh no too scratchy every month i know it's just there without even thinking about it guys splash off tiktok shop 18 pounds i think for like 80 rolls 18 pounds And it comes, but the fuckers, the fucking delivery twats keep robbing a few rolls out of it. I do that.

Every time it's broken in two. And do you know what? I bet they don't take that home. I bet it's in the van for when they need a shit. Bet you. Side of the road. When I was a student, I used to rob Leroy from restaurants. Did you?

Were you that hard up? Mate, Leroy's fucking not a necessity when you've only got 50 quid to last you a week. yeah exactly oh yeah we used to rob blue rolls hand soap you'd come out and be like wait I always used to after like not that I get them now

ketchup as well if I had like a body treatment anywhere like a facial when the therapist left the room I would go on the trolley and put everything all over my body like say there was like some oil I'd like look round and while I was getting dressed I would pump it

and cover my whole body in oil that's like a thing now like people stealing off charlie's charlotte skin address was telling me she had some devices yeah and someone robbed them but you can't put a cctv in there can you no that's really bad and there was another salon that follow on instagram and i think they had like um skinceuticals all the different uh now i could understand why you might they're expensive i would never i would never but they are expensive they should be behind a lock and key because they're very expensive speaking of holidays i can't be the only one that just loots everything no every shower gel shampoo

was shit when i actually looked at it you wouldn't have wanted any of it it was a tiny body moisturizer that big it wouldn't even have covered your hand so i didn't nick it for you i'm really particular about what i use there was a few clarins bits basically and i took a picture What's like the best thing you've robbed from a hotel? I feel like dressing gowns would be good, but you can't anymore. I used to back in the day. Can you not?

We did an event at Atlantis in Dubai. We got the bridge suite and I nicked the gold shampoo. Oh, yeah, that kind of thing. Apparently it's like a couple of hundred quid a bottle. I just nicked it. Yeah, fair, fair. I used to nick dressing gowns,

but now they have a thing where it basically is a nice polite thing saying you can buy them if you want. If they disappear, you will be charged. um i always a really good hack guys is if you've not used the hotel slippers take them i was thinking about that today because if you ever have to go to hospital they are absolutely the grantly hall ones are fantastic they are fluffy aren't they i was thinking about that um and like you know how we're having building work done on our houses and our feet are disgusting so weird

you've just said that this morning this morning i was getting ready and everything yeah and because even though it's clean there's dust and shit everywhere my feet were black and i thought i wish i brought my hotel slippers on because my uggs are too hot at the minute yeah and i literally thought this morning then i thought i wonder if you can get them like like on a cheap website to get like hotel slippers these ones we had once no oh yeah yeah anyway okay let's have a break guys we're going to go into the break because we've rimble rambled and we will be back in a minute right guys we are back so we've got what we bought this week we've got a dilemma but i do really want to quickly just ask you you've written in our script here to talk about bank holiday soho

what is this do tell so i saw someone put a picture on instagram of soho house pool at the weekend yeah not good disgusting what so the pool isn't very big no we've been it was small yeah and the pool is full of just people stood like but like full but didn't they say to us that they were going to really limit the amount of people that were allowed then you had to pre-book it it didn't look limited was it like ocean beach yeah was it worse basically everyone from the west towers in the um the hilton the west towers have their own pool thing i don't know and they all come down what they like fair like if me and you were there and we had a drink like if we live like in the center bombing in the pool and this is the best thing about us like it's okay for us

to judge but we'd but we do it but we weren't so it's fine it's like we say brits abroad i can be a brit abroad it was very crowded and did it look do you think it looks slightly unhygienic potentially with all the people in there i'll show you the pictures it would be all the sun cream all the pissing the pissing yeah do you piss in the pool obviously the same i'm not gonna lie well do you not alex are you well you've more fooled you because you're drinking someone else's piss and you have to walk to the toilet so more i um i got yeah i got told once that like there's dying pool that makes the piss i got told that one so i had to do little squirts and check like you know it's it's that thing that there is dying pool no i've done a lot of people

i've done a lot of pool peeing and i'm sorry anyone who says they don't like when i see people getting up and walking to the actual toilet on holiday i'm like a poo i'm like it must be a poo because why would you like there's all this water here i'm a toilet why would you you know what though i saw a tiktok last night and you know that hotel that we went to in turkey the regna i really want to go there it's fabulous or the cullinan yeah the two that i really want to go i've been to both i really do you know how much what do you know how much for my lot for seven people what close to twenty thousand pounds yeah for all our family so what i'll be doing is i'll be doing it when we're not all there i can't do that it's ridiculous it's gone up a lot recently

because it's got really popular it's a myth it's a myth so you piss away so listen to it's because molly may went i bet well this tiktok was saying that if a kid shits in the pool at that hotel you have to pay a ten thousand pound fine no it was a tiktok saying that i don't don't quote so i guess the reason for this would be they have to clear the swimming pool if there's a shit in the pool refill it piss off and give compo to all these people i was a bit nervous when tommy um when we were on holiday with the swim nappy he had it on all the time but i was a bit nervous can fall out um so i was a little bit antsy about the poo situation quite i was checking it quite a lot do you remember when you were younger like at swimming battle you'd be like

there was always a poo in the pool yeah i wonder why but yeah i get that i would love to go to those hotels there's another one i went years ago um if anyone wants to look at a little farm oh don't because i can't i can't know like i'll come with you i can't what just me and you maybe one or two of the kids yeah yeah i do that i can't go for seven of us it's ridiculous but um there's another one i went to quite a while ago and it's gone up massively in price and that's called the lujo oh yes in bodrum yeah and i went i had no money when i have you seen the mandarin on a deal oriental in bodrum i can't afford the mandarin oriental anywhere every time i look i'm booking I look at the man

doing Oriental just for a laugh because wow it's so expensive some really nice hotels around at the minute I would

do you know the issue I have is paying for hotels in like in England and in London I just it pisses me off so much do you know

well so my so even though we slag so I was off all the time I booked a room for while I'm in London and for a suite

I think it was only like 300 and something pounds that's cheap for London no No, but I think that's the whole point of the Soho House membership, guys, isn't it? So to be fair, next time we go, we can book it. Or even the shittest of rooms, 300 quid in London.

It's about right. Even a shithole. So for a suite, I think that's really, really good. Really good, yeah. Really, really good. I still want to stay at that one. And it's got, like, the gym and everything. Is it?

Which is the one in London that we want? Corinthia. I want to stay there. But no, the one where you can check out whenever you want is the Rosewood. The Rosewood. Should we stay there next time we go as a treat? Yeah, let me ask Mummy, please. Have you been to the Soho at White City?

The old BBC building? The one that I'm staying at is... It's beautiful. The... One sec. It is... And Ketner's. Ketner's in Soho, which is a...

I'm staying at Shoreditch House. Okay. Ah, I've heard of that. So Ketner's has the suite which William stayed in. Yeah. You've got your own private door from the street. you've got a massive room dining table everything bathtub huge it is really it's space for me you would you know for me hotel rooms it's space i like space luxury anyway let's talk about what

we bought this week which is why we can't afford to go to the mandarin oriental because we spent it all on shit right go on guys this this first one is okay so i've ordered it i will it cure the baby's hiccups babies can't suck no inside me pardon because the baby where are you putting the fucking straw the baby keeps it all night yes tommy and thea both of them how i love you but you are annoying yeah and right down there it's where the head is yeah yeah yeah and tommy and they are both hiccuped so much as a baby it's a reflux thing great enjoy um no it's not gonna help the baby's hiccups in your tummy so there's this device guys that we have seen i was reading the reviews what's it got like 20 20 something thousand five star reviews i always wonder

so on amazon it's got 4158 reviews uh most of them 4.3 and up like it's got that's pretty yeah so it's called hick away hick away the hiccup device and it's a straw and you suck it and gets rid of your head immediately don't know fucking what a great invention if you've got kids oh my god how annoying they're like please mommy i've got a hiccup and they're going it is annoying when it's really annoying when they're really remember when you were younger like there used to be stories in the newspaper like lady had hiccups for 50 years and you used to think i'm never gonna stop every time you got the hiccups you think this time is gonna be the time it never ends super drug dupes are fucking having a moment that's on my list one of them style expertise is

the dupe of the got to be glued range it's like less than half the price and it's the exact same also their me plus range is according to i'm pretty sure it was nadine baggett said this but it's extremely similar to the SkinCeuticals serums yeah and they're like a tenner wow that's weird because that's on my list no way the Mustela spray took that away Tommy it's the best so basically it's the Mustela get it in the spray bottle with the avocado on the front and I think it's called like water spray cleansing water cleansing water I've got the pump I've had it for you know the spray is way better it's because I got the pump because it was for his face and he was a baby so i couldn't spray him in the face because he'd be like yeah but you can spray on

a pad but mine i use on their hair yes so like at the minute they're waking up really sweaty and like snowy's hair bless her so what you do is you spray it all over the hair and then it like it's like them having a bath like honestly girls and you can put them in little buns then or whatever like that spray i've got one in every it's just handy it's gentle it smells nice it's gorgeous the chantelle soft stretch v-neck padded bra okay you would like this so this is the bra nice feel the fabric one minute guys oh right look and it's just like show us show get them out nice neck wow they are some big tits massive um so this is actually a molly may recommendation and i'm sorry but her recommendations

are fucking very very good so it's from i got it from john lewis and they do it in all different colors they are quite expensive they're about 40 pounds but if you're gonna see it through the end of a pregnancy even or throughout then well this is a size small comfort so i think i'll it'll still three and then i've just ordered a nude one as well and like i was sunbathing in it yesterday well not really sunbathing but i was in the garden in it yes rolling around very good that's my list right mine funnily enough i have ordered so one of the things that's meant to be amazing for pigmentation is tranexamic acid have i taken it in tablet form before yeah should you probably not but in america they use it in tablet form to get rid of pigmentation from the inside

not for that though didn't it dry your mouth out or something a little um so tranexine is acid one of the main things for pigmentation i went on holiday i didn't put my face in the sun once i heavily covered myself i've still my pigmentation's a mess do you know the skinceuticals spf 50 has it in oh does it as a treat as well have you ever had that so that is the best because honestly i look like someone's wet farted in my face i will send you the link for it that has um niacinamide and um tranexamic yeah right and as a treatment while protecting you i'll buy that so when i was in the airport i started having like a because james went to me oh your freckles have come out i just literally stared at him i went you know i am so self-conscious about that oh no i didn't

realize and i was like yeah i feel awful anyway so i found at least it was like your face looks dirty it does i found the tranexamic acid from super drug from the me plus me whatever range four pounds and it's two i think it was like two percent it was okay so that's if you that range is quite potent yeah pounds yeah yeah now because i was three for two as well i was a little bit skeptic so i was like really four pounds nadine baggert so at the same time i ordered another one as well so if you want to be more splurgy the allies of skin i love allies is actually three percent so it is a percent stronger but it's fucking three percent three percent percent the super drug is two percent oh i thought you said it was you said it was four but

yeah no four pounds four pounds it's a four pound product two percent tranexamic acid in it allies of skin so allies of skin 90 quid but three percent so stronger so if you want to go stronger i ordered that as well because it was on sale on beauty um allies of skin yeah and it looked really really good that but the difference in price is what jesus four quid and 90 um i did a two the boots 10 pound tuesday so sick i got myself two new heads for my oral b toothbrush i love my sorry to you i love my sorry but i moved to oral b because my sorry stopped working i needed a new one and i've never reordered it and i had an oral b james still has his sorry and he loves it so i ordered two new heads and it was 10 pounds it's normally 30 saved 20 quid so good so if you need

that oh hi alex mr shiny white teeth yeah 10 pound tuesday alex's dad's a dentist we'll tell him about the offer them so yeah 10 pound for two instead of 30 and is that on today's but they do have the same offers sometimes so keep an eye out for that great fucking great another one if your children are still wetting the bed which a couple of ours are are one-ish two-ish wetting beds at night do you know what annoys me about how expensive nighttime pull-ups are they're so expensive so they have them on the two the ten fucking i can't speak ten pound tuesday and they were something like a tenner instead of 18 pounds which ones a good brand it might have been ninja um they're really good because they're not too thick and do you know

where else always has them on offer asda because i think i don't want like you shouldn't be in nappies anymore why am i when it's hot as well they they often do you do yeah like it's annoying you're out of nappies is it costing me this um anyway so that's a really good one as well another deal then i got oh i'll tell you what i use which isn't on this list the caris i can never say how do you say the carrots the list the carastas they do an overnight i got it from look fantastic when little hole it's in a black i've seen it with the gold on with the gold on and it's anti-aging hair overnight so you put the serum on before bed and apparently when you wake up you don't look as hideous now i got it thinking really yeah it's like milky right yeah last night i washed my hair

i left it wet which by the way is for me scare you're asking for scarecrow in the morning but my thought was i'll wash it again in the morning i put all this serum in i put quite a lot in i thought it doesn't matter i'll use it as a treatment and wash it out in the morning yeah i woke up this morning and my hair was not frizzy was not like a scarecrow was not greasy really impressed really impressed stunning so yeah that's that is what i bought this look that shall we do we have time to do a dilemma before we go or are we done dusted we got a minute all right then right guys you ready would love to hear your thoughts on paying for someone else's baby shower in 2026 i've been invited to a baby shower of someone that i'm relatively close to

and we've been asked to contribute 35 pounds per head for an afternoon tea so does that mean paying for yourself yeah yeah there is also a gift list of course there is the gifts start at a minimum of 45 pounds so we're 80 quid in here to go to baby shower i just think that in hard times like these if you are going to have a party surely you have to pay or someone from your side should as it's so non-essential especially for a baby shower i don't want to have to go there and spend probably 200 quid after child care outfit present afternoon tea on a day out that i don't necessarily want to before the school holidays i hope everyone feels the same i'm honestly just sick of all these hens and baby showers that we have to foot the bill for and everyone i know feels the same on it

right i kind of think it's kind of up to them and if you don't want to go on it just don't go on it i don't think it's that deep if you think no that's not for me then you say unfortunately i'm busy is it that deep just don't do it if you don't want i think the issue here is it is snowballing all of this yeah like literally i am friends with a couple of people like there's one at the minute and she's got this hen do that um she has to go on then they're doing the london version then the like marbella version as well and then it's like and then the weddings abroad too yeah but at the same time like let them and then you just say like i'm really sorry i can't afford it right now don't go but some people they feel really pressured in their friendship say unfortunately i have got

bible study on that day personally if i was gonna have a baby shower now i would pay for everyone but that's because i can afford to this that i probably would now but do you know what i couldn't afford to i wouldn't do you know what when i had my baby i'm trying to think now when i had my baby shower with thea you paid for it i don't know if i did you did did i yeah i don't know why but like there was cakes right and there was like bits yeah and i don't know how i feel about it really i understand what you're saying completely but i also just think if you don't want to go don't and the thing with the hen do thing so the way i look at it is this to me hen do abroad is an excuse for a girl's haul it's just putting a name on it if you really fancy a girl's haul

yeah you're joining on the hen do yeah it's not really about the hen do it's about that you're going on holiday with your mates so that's what you put your money towards if you don't want to go on holiday with a bunch of girls and you just don't go whereas i think hen do's abroad are more like you're paying to go on holiday or do you think it depends how close you are i think you'd get fomo sometimes perhaps yeah maybe um and i do think there's a lot of pressure on people now for all of these maybe slightly younger than us but also like it's your weekend for me like time is so precious as well especially at the weekend because you know it's only like eight days a month and if i was a single girl i would much rather spend the 200 quid on a wild night out

doing what i want to do and bedrock the next day swimming around the soho pool yeah then be a baby shower but that's up to you and you have every right to that's your time your money you have every right to make that decision i think people should be able to say okay come if you want it's 35 quid if that's how you want to do it and that you can't afford to pay for it which a lot of people can't fine but then do not be offended if people cannot come i think that's the take don't bitch about it either no it's not that fucking deep you know what like honestly like lucas sent a thing about men's stag dues him and men get that shit way better than us yeah like they are so transparent they're like these are the timings this is how much it's gonna cost

be there don't be there yes no decide whatever and then they just put no and leave the group oh my god also ed was like the other day like oh i've got like no no not just after the baby's born no no no i thought you were gonna say china trying to go away i thought you were gonna say a stag yeah like i don't know when it is but and i went he knows when it is actually like i was like after your last performance you think you're allowed again he is not allowed on stag dues he knows he's banned he knows when it is he's planted a mini seed then he'll there'll be another mini seed he's absolutely not allowed well not after that he i've got ptsd from that like bad when we were sat in your bed he left me with a five week old baby when was it when we were sat in your bed

and he came home and i was like and we were eating and you were like it's time for me to go now he walked in and you're like hello and he was like i it took me a long time to recover from that yeah that was a hard one I think James might have to go to a stag soon but luckily James doesn't really drink anymore it's not even the drinking it's the whole like it was what happens after

yeah but that's what comes from the drinking they become so irresponsible they're like babies and then you have to worry about them do you worry about me when I go on a girl's holiday? no what pisses me off as well like you're not fun with me

so don't you go and be fun with someone else yeah so you'll be all lads lads lads and you're like get your knob out and put your arse against the window you don't do that to me and when you're with me like you can't even string a sentence together that is interesting actually

tell him he's not going right lock the door lock the door right we have a lot speaking to you we're back on Friday

so if you have Patreon or Apple subs you can get our Friday bonus episode if not we'll just see you next Wednesday love you

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