Nip Tuck - Surgery: The sketchy and the sexy

Episode Date: August 24, 2021

It's time for the episode of our namesake – we're talking all things cosmetic surgery!Can you breastfeed after a boob job? How much does plastic surgery actually cost? Ashley and Lauren bust the biggest myths surrounding cosmetic surgery.The girls also discuss their experiences, procedures and tweakments, plus offer their best advice if you're thinking about going under the knife.Don't forget to follow the podcast @ntngaf, Ashley @thecosmeticconsult and Lauren @laurenelizabeth_xx! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi guys, I'm Ashley and I'm Lauren and welcome to Nip, Tuck and Not Giving a Fuck. I'm going to change how I say it every time. A fuck. Right, right, different accents. Okay, not... Welcome to Nip, Tuck and Not Giving a Fuck. What was that? Scottish.

Welcome to Nip, Tuck and Not Giving a Fuck. What? What was that? Scottish. Oh my God, yours is so bad. Do you know what my favourite YouTube video is of all time? Not Jamie Lee. Is that a shit? Oh, is that a shit?

Well, one of yours has. Disgusting. Okay, so today's episode is actually super apt because we're talking about cosmetic surgery and Lauren has just had her arse done. Lauren's just been filled in the arse. Ew. sorry okay um yeah i've literally just got back from having it done i had it done at la skin

in liverpool with alex she's absolutely lovely butt plug oh she's really really nice um so yeah i've just got back it was good you know it was all right i'm a bit sore now yeah i've had my ass done when we talk about this though like i only had 60 mils in so it's 30 each side you've had a hundred and what are you saying no i'm not hey i am not it just meant that i had i've got i think i've got a bigger ass than you like in general because you're tiny so i've got a bigger surface area so mine took hours to squeeze in really have you got a tight this is so tall i must have a tight ass i've got a loose one um so yeah basically it was the hip

dips which i mentioned in the last one so we've not had our arses done to be fair we've had a hip dip if i had a massive ass i think i'd look a dick because it's just not my frame i'm not i mean yeah anyway so i had filler in my hip dips so at the minute it's pretty lumpy and it's sore and i've literally walked into the looks good i just walked into the studio and dropped my pants and we've been having a little play in a poke she did say her bum hole was sore though yeah i didn't mean that and then one of the holes from the incision from the thing anyway it didn't particularly hurt i'm not gonna lie a bit uncomfortable they numb it first put little um well it's not little it's a big needle in your arse or wherever it's going to go and then they inject the filler

basically everybody's different to how much you need but it's it's no one's going to notice i've had it done like this is the kind of thing that literally only i will notice no one's going to look at me and be like she looks different they're just not going to know because it's a tiny tiny tweak a tweakment a tweakment that i will notice honestly if i'm on the beach not one person can look twice at me or anyone so i like that and i wouldn't even be telling anyone if i hadn't been pushed into it by this stupid podcast and by you okay so cosmetic surgery as you all know i am really into it and by into it i don't mean like i'm addicted to getting things done come on let's all be grown-ups i'm here to educate people and to break down this myth around it being you know

really elite and something that you don't talk about yeah so let's head in here with some plastic surgery myths okay should we do one each yeah okay lovely you can't breastfeed after a boob job lies bullshit however it depends what kind of boob job you have if you're just having a straightforward breast enlargement most probably you can um there's no issue there if you are having an uplift there's a chance that you can't however i still could if i'd wanted amazing so i would say nine out of ten times you can breastfeed even you know if it's just an initial like really straightforward or even a secondary breast augmentation all of your natural breast tissue is placed on top of the implant there is nothing interfered with underneath the breast tissue so

everything works uh as usual and that's why when you feel false breasts they're squishy and soft yeah because you feel your own tissue first the implant sits behind that if you're very very small chested to begin with obviously you don't have a lot of tissue covering the implant but you don't people seem to think that if you're feeling a false breast you put your hand on an implant no you put your hand on their breast tissue the implants behind that yeah so they kind of feel the same okay next one you only need one boob job so this is not true not true not true absolutely and everyone is for life it is a commitment a massive commitment if you're going into a surgeon or a cosmetic surgery group and they're saying to you oh yeah they last 20 years

bullshit no it's not true i mean they could last 20 years they couldn't give a shit what they looked like yeah but they could not and i think what you need to differentiate is some implants have got a guarantee or i've got a warranty for for life they say or 20 years that doesn't mean that they're gonna look like they did when you were 19 when you are 39 if i added that up wrong no that's right so the look of your breasts are going to change with age like everything else yeah like you know having babies losing weight is a massive factor that's what's messed my breasts up um and then also obviously gravity takes hold so anyone telling you you only need one breast augmentation is lying and you will probably need over your lifetime about five you think five i think five

mind you i've had three but that's because yeah yeah i think five's excessive it's not say you started with like um no no uplift or anything we're talking just straightforward you had your implants done started in your 20s you have your children your late 20s you perhaps have them done after the baby then you probably wouldn't do it again till your 50s no and have a lift but i think three three to five depends how shit it is yeah but then what so you're telling me at like 70 you're just gonna get them taken out no i'm just gonna leave them hanging there i'm gonna use them as decoration i'm just gonna chop them up i don't know all right then mate once you hit five boob jobs you owe me 50 quid right next one i haven't got it botox and filler are the same

thing oh that's annoying when people say to you i've had some botox in my lips yeah what no you haven't if you've had botox in your lips she's been for a bit of botox in her lips no you wouldn't be able to move your mouth like when they say like a face is full of botox yeah she's had way too much botox in her cheeks and if that was the case we wouldn't be able to move honey no let's explain okay botox paralyzes muscles so botox is actually a bacteria that's injected into your muscles and it paralyzes them and that means then that you can't move certain muscles in certain ways for example i get botox in my chin and my forehead oh my god so listen to this for fun um this is the thing with all treatments things can happen and i'm the person that stuff happens

too so i remember when i got my teeth done i was crying so like katie price anyway so um and honestly i was around my friends sobbing but because my teeth were so big i'd not had them filed properly i'd gone a bit over and i was like this oh i'm not ridiculous and everyone was everyone was trying to keep a straight face because i was hysterical anyway my point was my chin i once had botox in my chin just to drop it a little because people might wonder why you would do that points it a little drops it a little stops you're getting that raspberry thing where you know and there's nothing it wasn't a bad practitioner but sometimes it can happen they must have just caught to the side one of my muscles so whenever i laughed my bottom lip fell

into my mouth or when i smiled right imagine smiling now and then your body was when our bottom lip would go in and it was i looked ridiculous anyway i got over it and then one day one of the girls came into work and she turned around and she laughed and her lip went in her mouth and i was like you've had the botox she went it's gone wrong so yeah you gotta be careful yeah botox paralyzes yeah botox paralyzes and filler fills it's not that hard to not that difficult really so if you want your mouth paralyzing which a lot of people should have then get some botox in your lips oh yeah shut up shut up okay lipo makes you thin no bullshit bullshit absolute bullshit it's like when people are oh when someone's lost weight again she must

have had lipo no hun she's had a gastric ban or dieted severely lipo doesn't make your entire body fit no lipo is a targeted um body sculpting it sculpts your body contouring from certain areas it does not make you no and the other thing is actually if you are overweight you should definitely not be having lipo in my opinion and when we used to get people in the clinic it sounds awful but i'd come in and they'd say i'd say where do you want it and my first kind of yes my first red flag was they'd go here here here here and i'd be like darling you need to lose weight without being rude your lipo is when you're within maybe half a stone a stone of your ideal weight that's what we used to say isn't it and you've just got targeted areas that you can't

shift some people can't shift no when you stand on the scales afterwards i think i had about three and a half liters taken out of me i was the same on the scale yeah because it's not it might not change that so i think making sure that you have got healthy lifestyle that you're within an ideal weight range and it's more for somebody say you've just got always had like a muffin top you've always had that tummy and you could be as thin as you want your arms and legs could be sticks you would still have the tummy it's for that kind of person like hormonal yes yeah yeah do you think that's if we made that up hormonal no it's a thing so cortisol is the stress hormone and basically anyone with raised levels of cortisol always has the tummy that's yeah i've heard this and you

can't get rid of it no so only even if you're like not stressed you could get rid of it by literally like not having any stress day to day which is not drinking no caffeine or alcohol going on a severe like vegan or protein based diet so you you could maybe try to get rid of it then but even then like it's it's fibrous fat hard firm that's your bra roll fat yeah yeah and your inner thigh fat and your tummy fat so yes you would need lipo to break that down i mean no one needs but if you wanted then yeah so no lipo doesn't make them plastic surgery is only for the rich and famous no well that's not true not true like our patients range from like i don't know literally as soon as they turn 18 to in their 70s and there's people that get loans out there's people that have saved

up for it since families paid families paid inheritance yeah exactly like everyone's in so many different circumstances yeah okay plastic surgery leaves no scars and lasts forever well that nobody must think that they do because some people i get messages off people and even if they've scarred really well they're like i'm upset with my scarring because there's one there at all again this is from poor communication or poor research and expectations when you're going in to have a treatment done anything that you're having done you're having a cut or an incision you need to know that that could go any which way your body's not made of plastic your body's not made of wood it's not like we're cutting in a direction and we know which way it's going to go

everyone's different and even if you've had a successful surgery previously you know it might be that you're stretching in a certain way and so many factors isn't that yeah and also it's all about preparing before your surgery and making sure that you're taking the right supplements and really should moisturize your skin before surgery as well you want your skin to be in the best possible condition with the most elasticity yeah hard when you've got a lisp to say that word um but yeah you want to be really prepared and i think expectations are huge and the longer i worked at the the cosmetic surgery company i used to work for how i consulted in my final years compared to my first years was totally different because i'd learn over the years that you have to

be so straight with people and you have to be realistic and you start to learn who's not getting it so if someone you learn you're not getting it you're not getting this like and they'd be like well i want an uplift but i don't i want them higher but i don't want an uplift because i don't like the scars and i'd be like if you're not going to like the scars don't do it and i do think we started to learn expectations managing managing them gives you a happier patient at the end 100 and then you know before i spoke about like people getting loans out yeah i honestly think that things should be a bit stricter with getting a loan out for cosmetic surgery because really if you're going to commit to doing this like we said about the brief jobs you might have to pay for

another one in five years while you might not say in the last one off so really you should be able to put a minimum of a 50 percent yes yes i think that's a good idea you've committed to it then um because some people you know five thousand pounds is a really oh my god really big amount of money for buy a car like it's a lot of money they're walking in and they think that they're gonna walk out all of their problems solved yeah as in relationship problems you know my boyfriend's gonna be happy with me um my i'm gonna go out looking fantastic and then they're kind of like really deflated after the surgery yeah they get like a depression that's the thing that can happen after surgery as well you get like a bit of a dip of mood afterwards um and i think you does need to

be watched a little bit more but i think it's also all right for for us to say that having accessibility to these things if i really wanted something done i'd get a loan for it do you know what i mean so i can see that side of it but i just think it's important that well us and people out there yeah i've just been a bit more caring and open with people okay so as you know i am very open and honest about surgeries that i've had done and whenever we do a q a that's like 10 people ask don't they like yeah what have you both had done so surgeries that i've had done my personal favorite of yours not that anybody asked me is probably your eyes your blephs i think they are can i just look can you yeah they're really good um that's my person she's

Just like put her glasses down like some sort of cat. That's personally one of my favourites. What do you think? I want them done again. Not yet, darling. Yeah. No. Okay, well, do what you want.

I don't care. But I went for a brow lift consultation. Oh, yeah. And it really scared me because you have it done while you're awake. There's a scar and it's a big scar. Really? Inside your hairline so you can lose some hair. No, it's just not worth it.

It can also lift your hairline. So I've already got a very, not a very good hair. i've not got i need to go to turkey i've not and i've got quite like a big domed forehead yeah i have we've got we've got five heads yeah i've definitely got look yeah mate mine's massive yeah but you know that like that's a sign of beauty you know apparently but not not when i look for me um so anyway went in for this brow lift consult and they were like they must have just thought this girl's fucking nuts we don't want to do her yeah and then they were like you're the red flag i when the problem becomes the problem no no isn't it when the problem asks

what the problem is i don't know what this problem is you're you are a problem right anyway and then they were like you've got this big facial artery and nerve which runs across there and if we go wrong by like one millimeter your whole face your head's gonna fall off what no it's not worth it i was just like hmm am i that unhappy with how i look that my whole face could be absolutely no no no no i spend on something else so i spend money so anyway but you know what i would love to go to when i'm ready for it i think probably at 35 i'm gonna have a mini facelift i can't speak to you that's like i'm all for it but i just feel like that's it's not okay the trick is okay and you speaking to someone i know what you're gonna say little bits keep up with the little bits and

then instead of instead of having a 60 something having a full body lift and then walking in a room hey it's me jackie so uh tweakments so yeah anyway what were we talking about oh yeah shit we've had them um okay yeah blephs nose oh my god your nose that's obviously the best that one yeah everyone loves that that yeah it was a cock nose before and then you're funny today you know it was a proper like dick on my face there was just nothing nice about my old nose like it was like just chubby and it didn't suit me as a person you used to call it a twiglet and i remember when i worked at maya and i'd be like all the time really want to know i really

and everyone was like just shut up and get one done then and then i did well you waited a long time and you because it's a big fucking deal if your nose job went wrong i i literally said to the surgeon on my day of um surgery ed came with me i sat down on the bed and the surgeon came in to like do you know where they go over everything again and i feel like that's one of your most important consultations that on the morning of the surgery because they see so many people so i was like right well i've printed these pictures oh my god and i was like stick them on the wall in the operating theater that's not a bad idea and um if you do get it wrong i will kill myself and the man just looked at ed and ed was like no she will and he went white

um and i was in surgery for four and a half hours and i lost a lot of blood and had to stay overnight because i think that i must have put that much pressure on i bet he was like dizzy he was so scared but yeah no i think that's a good one of yours yeah and then i had boobs done initially and i had those stupid allegan natural implants in oh i had them once once once um yeah there's some bad stuff linked to them don't google it and go under and then message me on instagram all i suggest is get them taken out and replaced as soon as you can um so i had them swapped for some different ones and i went a bit bigger just a little tip for anyone getting their first baby boob job keep it a baby boob job just get like a 200 to a 250 don't

go silly don't go silly because every boob job that you're gonna have to have after unless it's like what you did a lift and going smaller you got to go 100 grams bigger at least otherwise they'll be floating around flapping around in the pocket so just remember if you're starting off with a 250 next time 350 375 you can get away with it for longer then yeah no yeah you can drag it out a little bit longer get more out of your breasts yeah however having said that if you're a big frame a 250 is going to look like a tennis ball floating around your tit but i mean stay on the smaller end to get the size that you want go at the smaller end of what what and don't forget gravity is a thing the heavier they are the quicker they start and wear a bra every night in bed you

are the worst i fucking honestly top up i've got no they're cracking i know i've got no bra on again so right don't come crying to me because your skin's not i've not got the most elastic skin have no so honestly i wear my post-surgery bra every single day look this is what i wore in bed last night as well really is that from primark yeah it's from no it actually is yeah i've got one it's not actually stewbots wearing primark um yes regrets oh what do we regret okay so i regretted when my chin botox went weird um i regret so i had um my first brew job when i was 19 and my 19 that's young fuck off my my problem has always been with my weight so my weight has always gone up and down don't get me wrong i've never been big but i've been on a bigger end and

then i've gone really thin up down up down and it ruined your skin we need to educate young girls yes please don't do this no one of the things if i could go back i would not have yo-yo dieting so much like i did it so much that so my boobs were big then they were small big small beds as well yeah some beds my i mean listen i go on the sunbed i'm just gonna say i'm not gonna but but i'm not gonna sit here and say i don't but i absolutely shouldn't and i fucked my skin up with it so it completely destroys the elastin why did does anyone need to go on some i did a lot when i was younger anyway so that caused my boobs that it fucked my boobs up the weight and the sun beds and the diet supplements everything we you know it's all about being educated now yeah and

and and i wasn't then and that caused me to have like they were like triangle tits not derrily triangles yeah um but the other way around like a sad like a sad they were like a pig snout oh yeah you know what i mean oh my god your nipples were huge yeah weren't they mixed with they were tubular actually so if anyone's got tubular breasts do you remember when you said that i've got anemic nipples you need them tattooed and i can do that now i'm gonna tattoo right mate sorry i like a dark nip so anyway can can i yeah no i'll do it but i need some pictures um anyway so oh so if anyone sees a nipple on um arch and co it's yours that looks rather like a percy pig so i got them done at 19 um and i had them lifted with an implant i wasn't very well

informed they remember do you remember it was like someone had done it with a knife and fork we used to call me edward scissor ticks no but like did it really upset you no because they were that bad before i thought they were fine started you know working at my home and realized they weren't okay so then i got them done again now this is the thing that ashley was saying with sizes i went too big and because the thing is your frame might not be framed forever so your frame is but your weight so i was never big but i was bigger before what size implant did you have four something because mine are 400 now and they're huge yeah so i and all of a sudden when i had thea i went really small i lost loads of weight and i've never that happens probably the

depression probably depression and divorce but some people's metabolism changes the other way and mine did so i'm thinner now than i've ever been in my entire life and it's running after a kid and it's running after a kid and i don't think i'm ever gonna get big again so by this point now i've got these big implants yeah so i've got these implants um and i'm really really thin with the implants that suited me when i wasn't as thin so i decided to go smaller with another lift so they look really good they're amazing now i don't regret the boob jobs but i regret didn't you have some fat transfer yeah so what they did as well is they took a tiny bit of fat i don't even know where from i actually don't know where from it was like a spoonful

don't know it was like a spoonful of fat and put it over my implants on my cleavage which has stopped me from getting that ridge my tits are nice you know they are they it's taken three to get there though so just be informed ladies um something that i regret was my first boob job really yeah because i should have gone under the muscle they were over yeah why i don't know very odd um and then the implants that had put in at the time we were selling them to everyone and they were like these are the best implants you pay an extra 500 well i paid an extra 500 quid to have toxic imparts put in me and i could have like had the normal ones which didn't get recalled i've wasted money on worse things men men weddings dirty john um so yeah oh russian

do you remember my russian lips that was me that was not a good look for you she had russian lips it was i look like um you know like those really trashy porn stars it wasn't a good look for you was it no and my hair was had it all extensions oh god yeah no you've just you've gone really quiet then because you've just described me she looked at me and went my hair was like blonde it had all extensions she looked at me was like okay man i might get my lips dissolved really my top lip i'll tell you why i've seen a few people doing it and it makes you your teeth look bigger like you can't see my i've got like nice teeth and you can't see i'm not having a lip lift before you start i don't think i need one do you oh my god do i need a lip lift no okay what are

you what are you thinking i just think just looking i need to dissolve my top lip because i think it would show more mouth so when i had that russian lip lip thing i i looked fucking horrific and it was a very sad time in my life anyway but i was like oh i know what's gonna fix all my broken feelings a russian lip lift that then was botched um so i had to have my lips dissolved with a micro dissolve technique so i had to go back every three weeks and they put tiny puddles of um the dissolver in and this is the new way supposedly that you should get your lips dissolved because otherwise if they put the hyaluronase in because it's it's with a bigger needle as well because the molecules are bigger it breaks down your own tissue oh no yeah it's nobody needs that go to my

person and get the micro dissolved yeah and it fucking stings have you ever had it yeah oh ouch um yeah so i regret that um another treatment that i regret is microblading ah yeah yeah i regret mine actually yeah so microblading is a type of semi-permanent makeup and i actually went to train in it and i was like the way this is brutal you can hear them slicing your skin so the way in which they do microblading is it's on a piece of wood it's like a tribal way of tattooing it's terrifying and the reason why people do the microblading is because the costs are so low with lauren's like the semi-permanent makeup expert and she'll know you know with semi-permanent makeup you need a machine you need certain of course yeah and the

needles are a lot more expensive than just a blade yeah so the margins are really high now that people are educated they realize that what microblading is in essence right we stretch your skin they cut you with a razor blade in a certain direction and then put dye in it you can hear it ripping as well when they do it like it goes scratchy paper like like nails are very painful like this i didn't like it i i i actually like obviously i do semi-permanent makeup i do lip blush which i think's in oh just everyone get lip right here can i just say something here actually because i've been saying this to a lot of my clients so when people people need to educate others more about lip filler and i think injectors need to so a lot of people go in for filler and

they say i want more in the border i want more in the border i want more in the border and it's because they want to define the border of the lip however having filler in the border of your lip is going to give them even less yeah even less definition makes them whiter it stretches the skin you lose the border and then you get a ridge and migration which is where it goes into kind of like your mustache area so i'm not just saying this because i do it but please if you want more in your border and you want more of a defined edge of your lip don't get filler that is going to do the opposite no get lip blush that will define it and then use your filler in the middle of the lip exactly so i regret the microblading because also what they don't tell you it causes scarring

and because they're going so deep with the razor blade like the machine basically tells you i'm gonna go this deep throughout the whole treatment whereas the microblading with the razor blade you could press a little bit harder harder and then you get like um the skin grows over it and it goes green or blue mine's um some of it's like gray and some of it's like um a red tone one of our friends melissa actually went to get hers um lasered off yeah i was thinking and it took her such a long time i can do um at work we can do a saline saline as well saline solution but she was like this is wow just i'm gonna have to do that as well and she went to like the best place in london at the time for the microblading and i remember she paid about two

yeah i'm gonna have to do mine as well oh god so that's that i regret mine a little bit actually yeah and like oh my god we've all seen semi-permanent makeup fails oh i correct those a lot oh baby like they're just like purple and black and blue and like you just there is something you can do about it and you know just just do it yeah just do it so yeah that's that's what i regret doing that i regret at some stages in my life i've over filmed my face did i realize that at the time no did i regret it no i thought i looked good at that time you thought you looked good so whatever yeah but then i look back at pictures and i'm like you went too far i think yeah yeah um but the thing for me now and you actually as well i feel like once you get into

the 30s and so busy like lauren all you want to do is wake up in the morning yes have nice skin yeah have your eyebrows and your eyelashes and your hair maintenance low low maintenance nice skin eyebrows on i have my eyelashes done so i have them on you don't because yours are insane no i'm getting mine done on friday yeah i just want to do it then um lips uh like my lips are blushed so when i wake up like they've got color to them and i think that's what we want i don't like wearing makeup i rarely wear it and also i feel like when i wear makeup in the day i feel dirty yes yes and your skin is not as nice no i like wearing makeup when i go out and do you know what i also like about the fact like like if you see me you think oh my god is she when people go

are you ill are you okay are you oh was it a long night you're like no this is just me without makeup on um so i like the fact that like when i have my makeup on it's a massive transition and i'm like i'm in glam mood yeah yeah so you're like in a different mode i don't like that what i don't wear a lot of me i don't do the glam really i'm either two extremes like literally dry shampoo day five yeah and just serum on my face in some spf or i'm like like i've had an mua i've had i've planned the look everything i don't like that because i get worried that people are going to be like yeah but have you seen her like without all that do you know what i mean so i try not to look that different when i get done up i don't give a fuck what anyone thinks

right then okay so i think one of the the big things about people wanting surgery is what other people are going to think of them um close people but boyfriends friends family um and then also just society um work stuff like that and i think mom guilt being put under an anesthetic yes so i didn't understand this until i had thea we used to get so many people in these women and they'd be like one thing i'm nervous about is the general anesthetic because i'm a mother and i used to think and fucking what so what you're a mother and now i'm like oh if something happens here i've killed myself and my child's got no one can you west's mom die having like yeah she did yeah she actually did so the mum guilt i think that's a real thing as well and also also spending money

on yourself when you've got children and you think i could be taking them on a holiday or whatever i hear that oh that's 10 years of nursery fees yeah yeah but yeah no the anesthetic thing okay like i'm not a doctor lauren's not a doctor but we have had thousands of patients each which we've worked with oh my god okay has anyone ever died on you no one's ever died on me no no i mean we're not telling you to do it and obviously like people you know can go into hospital and have a reaction to something i heard you've got more chance of and this is why i used to tell my patients to just to calm them a little bit you've got more chance of having an accident on your way to the hospital like percentage wise really yes then um then dying but another thing that people

need to understand is the anaesthetist is the person that's keeping you alive not the surgeon so there's two doctors involved and again this is why surgery fees are high so the things that you need to build into your surgery fee you need to remember the man that's putting you to sleep he gets paid about a thousand two thousand pounds yeah um then your surgeon he then has to pay his insurance the hospital needs to pay their insurance the staff the theater staff the third staff that's why prices in the uk are higher not just because the surgeons get paid more but because it's so stringent on things like insurance hospitals struggle to find staff in this country so they're in high demand so i think that there are there are surgeons that charge

extortion at prices but you pay you get what you pay for a lot of the time and you are paying there's a reason yeah okay so coming back to that then people um judging you for having surgery do it for yourself make sure you're doing it for yourself and only yourself there's also some counselors that i've heard of that you can go to like before you have um surgery and they are really impartial and they'll just sit you down and be like why are you doing it we used to um we used to ask that certain people um got a letter so if you're on certain anxiety or depression medication um you may have a history of that so we would ask for some form of letter or we could like a skype or something just to check that and that's worth it do you to make sure yeah and then

do you remember those weird boyfriends that used to come in the consultation room you'd get two types of boyfriends i mean maybe not i'm perhaps three the normal ones and then these two other types so you would get the ones that were absolutely way too happy about it too exciting go bigger bigger yeah if you're gonna do it love go bigger remember that man that um that uh came in and bought the implants home and put them in wrap them up in a present box no yeah for christmas wow i mean i wouldn't say no to that but yeah you get the ones that are a bit too excited about it and then you think i feel like they're trying to please the man you're talking in the consultation to them i used to hate that i used to say can you leave the room for a bit i used to hate that when

you'd speak and the man would reply to you i'm talking to the patient yeah that would annoy me you'd get and they'd go like we want we want yeah does uh the price affect the size because if not then big as possible please you take cash yeah yeah like literally we used to get that a lot and then you would get the other side which was the boyfriends that didn't want them to have it done and were extremely do anything extremely unsupportive and they'd sit there trying the implants on and they'd be like what do you think babe and they'd be like don't know not my thing not ours don't want and they'd say straight away you knew when they came in i don't want it to have this done jealous gel and they some of them probably maybe just worried but i think most of

them thinking shit she's gonna get a boob done she could get more confidence she's gonna realize i'm an absolute little oik and she's gonna go out with the tits and pull someone with a bigger dick yeah oh yeah exactly does that equate big i don't know well i don't want to talk about this i've had big one big oh my god i was just about to say i've had big ones and little ones um so yeah there's some men and women some friends always you know when i was gonna do my lipo some people like why are you having lipo you weigh like eight stone anyway yeah and i haven't i was like boom boom this is why um so yeah don't forget that some people again like i talked about last week they're just fucking jealous and they tell you because they don't want to see you do better

and i'm not saying plastic surgery is going to make you look better it's not going to fix all your problems it could go wrong you need to be aware of that the revision rate for example for rhinoplasty is around 25 for any patient that's one in four rhinoplasty is a very subjective procedure oh it's so hard with the right there's no who's to say whether it's gone right you need emotionally preparing before i've heard that that and i remember from my patients i used to say to them look the actual recovery isn't bad for rhinoplasty it's the mental no it's the mental side of things different days i'd wake up and it'd be massive and you'd be crying and then i remember patients used to ring me and be like it's massive and i'd be like just shut up have you had like a

drink or a curry last night because stuff like that can do it spicy food alcohol yeah yeah um so yeah it's uh it's it's a hard one so another thing that we get asked about a lot is abroad surgery now i have never been abroad for surgery i have been with friends when they've had stuff done and it's always been a really positive experience but lauren you've actually experienced it yourself i have and i think until i experienced it i was quite anti about it you were as well i think because especially in the job we used to do if someone said i've been thinking about going to turkey i'd be like oh god no oh my god no you must not do that yeah and that's because that's what i've been conditioned to think yeah and i believe that certain places yeah it's terrible some of it

and we have spoken before about experiences like that um however the reason i went abroad is this my boobs were they were bad weren't they and i'll show you before and after they were bad so they really needed a full work now the thing is it was also coronavirus it was like when we were in lockdown not full full on lockdown it was like had you already booked it no and i was i knew i was gonna i knew i was off work it was loads of people yeah it was like when we were half open half not so we weren't locked down anymore we could travel however no one could operate in the UK so to get a surgeon obviously my first choice would be a surgeon that I work with and know very well yeah he's amazing but the situation I was in anyway I couldn't have it done in the UK and I

wanted it a friend of mine um through Instagram told me about this surgeon in Turkey I looked at his work and God's honest it's incredible he's incredible um I was so impressed with his work Was it a lot cheaper? Yeah, I think it was. So for an up, I had implants out, new implants in, uplift. That with us is around about eight and a half. Nine, yeah, yeah, nine. I think it was four.

With the fat transfer? Yeah. Fuck off. Yeah. That's amazing. Obviously I had to pay for my flights. So I researched it and I went to him. Did Theo go with you?

No, that was, this is one of the things I'll say. Emotionally, it was awful. It was awful. I was in a foreign country. I was in pure agony. I felt like that. it was I was frightened to death I didn't have Thea there it was boiling hot I had the sports bra on it was really bad actually emotion nothing to do with the company. Do you wish you'd have

taken Thea? No because I couldn't how am I meant to take her like see what and see me like lying there like it wouldn't have been fair and so I took my mum and my mum also said never do that again that was the most traumatic experience ever I'm not doing this with you. I remember those voice notes you sent me when you were constipated. Oh yeah yeah that always is the worst bit after the surgery yeah and you're in pain um so yeah i went away and that's why i did it the surgeon i went directly to him i didn't go through a big company um because i don't agree with a lot of them i think the dog shit oh my god one of them messaged me asking if i wanted a free bbl shut the fuck up yeah for instagram advertisement that should be illegal yeah maybe i'd maybe i'll get

onto them um but yeah i didn't go with the company i went to him i dealt with his pa i was you know what i was impressed and and and i'm really happy what was the hospital like unreal did they talk english so this is the only hard thing so after the operation my first boobs were over the muscle so they didn't really hurt how much does i had mine switched from overs to unders oh my god did you the muscle relaxants i don't know what i got given it was in fucking turkish um but it was one night i was sobbing and i was like to the nurses they didn't they were lovely but they didn't speak much english i put on mine so my mom my mom's panicking she's like she's like thinking i'm dying so she got um google translate on her phone and she's putting in pain and she's showing these

nurses she's going in pain because they thought i don't know what they thought i mean it's fucking clear i was in pain and then she's going painkillers pain killers pain stop stop pain with her hands like must stop pain ow crying like so that was difficult and then we went back to the hotel and i was literally in a hotel room for like four days and then i had to get on the plane i was in agony let me tell you on that plane i was in agony so that side of it not ideal i didn't have any problems after i got a little infection which i dealt with but if you had a proper problem what the fuck are you gonna do what fly back is there like nurses that they link up with here not where i went no so i went um because i obviously know nurses so i got sorted but if something had

gone wrong i would have been in a bit of a difficult position and you're not covered you're insurance or anything if you die you're not something i would um i would sort of promote but if it's a choice you you're thinking of just make sure that you research the surgeon i wouldn't go with a big company i would go directly with the surgeon and then yay okay so to finish up are you gonna age gracefully have i aged gracefully so far no no what are you aging gracefully i don't know i think that's because i think that that's bullshit too who made that up someone that couldn't afford botox and filler definitely but i just think what's so is it more graceful to not have filler what's graceful or not graceful about having tweakments there's nothing like you know

premium about not having worked yeah it doesn't make you a better person or anything different but there's nothing premium about having work done it's your choice it's your body i will not be aging gracefully i'll probably be on facelift number four by the time i'm 70 um and i will do everything in my power to make sure that i look as tight as possible for as long and tidy tight tight it's even like the arm my arms have gone my arms already going i swear it's since i turned 30 everything's dropped by two millimeters like everything mine hasn't but we need to talk it's next time vaginas drop do they yeah no it's not that they drop the lips drop no that so you know the outside um the fatty bit yeah oh you get less fat so they become skinnier and then

the innards i used to be a beauty therapist so i used to do hollywood waxes which is like everything arsehole and everything i bet you i've seen over 2000 vaginas like and when i say seen them i mean all vaginas are completely different all different i've been trumped on twice yeah did they say sorry um one we didn't mention it um and the other one was like oh bloody hell whoopsie i was like i just i bet you laughed at the second one i've seen so many vaginas and that's something we need to talk about because there's also vaginal rejuvenation but also like i feel like lo do you remember lo there was that spate of girls coming in for labiaplasties yeah and yeah there'd be nothing wrong with them and it's just from

watching watching porn yeah and seeing these tucked in badges yeah but i but however i'm going to be honest if mine wasn't like i would probably have it done would you yeah i mean i've had it all done why not but yeah so next time all bleached no but i did look into buying because they don't do it in this country only in london they do it i think but i did look into buying the anal bleaching solution i will let you do it on me i will let you why is it why i have to get it from like china or something why are your but why is a bumhole not white i think it's because it's like an area that's never really in the sun and it's like a dark damp no but that'd be white i think it's a thickness damp did you know that willies go browner

it's like get those paint shots out of age they go browner willie's go brown see willie's are tanned aren't they so i guess i guess you like an older man then oh my god so willie willie's are tanned and that's when bumholes are anyway if you want to bleach mine i'm absolutely can i tell you something you just reminded me when we want to go on overshare then here we go lauren's gonna overshare stop recording um it is an overshare when i worked um at my uh i'm one of we were all best friends there weren't we i was well it was thea's dad actually so it's not like it was a one night stand i was going there and we'd not been seeing each other for that long and i'd been at work all day and i was going straight

there so you i was a bit concerned about the downstairs department how things were going to look so i look or smell and everything so and i'd forgot to shave so i got i've got my razor i took my razor with me because i knew i would need to later yeah so i i stood i hovered over with one leg up and did it all like at the works yeah right anyone that's washed your hands at maya manchester you can ring us for compensation then nicola was there my best friend and i bent over nude and made her check like my arsehole remember like hairs or tissue because i had to dry it with tissue so she was literally took it so serious she was like let me just check she's like opening my cheeks she's like nope can't see anything looks good there no tissue i was like just checking the labia she's

like yeah all looks good like both straight faces if it was something normal no do you remember when we're on holiday and you're downstairs ashley can i shave your out my arsehole would you raise her we went on holiday to south africa with work and everyone kept calling us the babies didn't they because we were then and we there was a big bath um it was like there was loads wasn't there was this big bath and me and ashley would have a bath together every night like babies like where's and drummer lizzie used to say where are the babies and we'd be in bath splashing in the bath like doing each other's hair and we'd be like sat in the bath washing each other's hair and yeah i was like can i show and she was like no and then later on like she saw it was moved to a

different place and she was like looked at me and went mate i might have shaved my arsehole in there i might have cut it so my like blood was on that's fucked up so that was a really brief overview on cosmetic surgery guys i do once monthly q and a's on there to answer more specific questions give us a follow on instagram our podcast page is at n-t-n-g-a-f and our personal pages are at the cosmetic consult and at lauren elizabeth underscore xx give us a rate on apple podcasts please share wherever you can we literally love it when you do that because we've not got a massive marketing well we've not got any marketing budget so if you want to keep us going you need to share you need to share and you need to rate and you need to comment and tag and all that good shit

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