Nip Tuck - The Princess & The Pellet

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

The girls are delving deep into relationship on todays episode. Lauren's got something moving around in her belly, Ashley's found a new dating trend and think she knows the best place to find a dream ...man, plus one listeners angry with the girls after taking their advice on a recent sex toy order. Oh and surprise surprise, we've had another Slutty Susan that's ended with a poo-tastrophe.To get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email hello@niptuckpod.com.You can also send us your Icks & Dilemma's via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on +447457402965 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 hello and welcome to nip tuck not giving a fuck coming up on today's episode lauren's got something moving in her stomach we ask you what your perfect dating profile is and one listener's love honey purchase has changed her life forever i know we've not even started the show yet but i need to tell you before i forget can we ask our agents if there's any chance of us going on big brother i really want to go on it yeah why i don't think it would i think people would listen to the podcast we'd come we'd be good no why why do you think that because nearly everyone yeah have you seen anyone that's come out of it that's done well i think we'd be good on it real laugh i hate it because i worked on big brother i've been i've seen the house it's minging oh
Starting point is 00:00:54 really it's it's it's like i want to go and go box then this kind of thing not you would not want to go on big brother it's not i would like to go and i'm a celebrity get me out of here i'm not a celebrity but like that kind of show no would you not i think that'd be funny i like that i think you see real people's real personalities on stuff like that as well i think you can come up better than that yeah i do um but i would really like to go so if they went to you right lauren okay Big Brother a month you could potentially
Starting point is 00:01:24 could you leave it's not a month though it's two weeks for the celebrity one I don't think I think it's longer I'm not saying I'm a celebrity by the way
Starting point is 00:01:29 I'm saying if we could blag our way onto that I think it's longer I don't Lucas how long is Celebrity Big Brother on for I think two weeks
Starting point is 00:01:36 do you think a month I wouldn't make it to the fucking end anyway more than two weeks it's a month yeah so could you leave Thea and James
Starting point is 00:01:44 for a month for the right money honey anyway I just think Maybe Gogglebox. Lauren whacks herself off at night thinking of all these things she can do. At night I whack myself off thinking about being on Celeb Big Brother.
Starting point is 00:01:59 I walked around the Trim & Tender and I got recognised and now I'm going to go on Celeb Big Brother. I didn't mean the Celeb thing. I just really think it'd be funny. I just think it would be funny. We really wanted to do Coach Trip. Didn't we?
Starting point is 00:02:10 It's not on anymore. We got asked to do it. Did we? Yeah. Why didn't we do it? I got asked to do it ages ago on like the normal one but I think
Starting point is 00:02:21 actually yeah yeah we did we did the normal we were was it the normal I don't know my memory's terrible
Starting point is 00:02:28 don't quote us okay anyway hello hello we're here welcome to nip top I was pregnant you ruined loads when you were pregnant
Starting point is 00:02:35 because I was in my fun time then and now you're not pregnant and I'm not fun anymore it's still quite fun oh my god I need to speak to you about something
Starting point is 00:02:44 what like if we I'm actually going to put this on my insta story anyway today so i am having a phantom pregnancy your body right i'm swear to you i've got a video of it on my phone right so i've started getting this twitch right and it's just to the left of my belly button slightly lower and i've had it for nearly four weeks now i've just been like monitoring it and i'll be doing something and you know when you first feel a baby move like a butterfly yeah
Starting point is 00:03:11 flick and i was like oh my god and i ignored it and honestly i've now videoed it i sat there for 20 minutes because i was thought i'm going mad i've got i'm going mad i'm not pregnant i've just been on my period i can feel a baby moving in my stomach so i think you've got an internal organ that might be well it would make those parasites you've been putting yeah so you've been swimming in any lakes recently so this is what's been going honestly i'm really being deadly serious about this because it is the one of the freakiest things that's probably ever happened to me watch that video ignore my disgusting like wrinkly stomach can you see it moving yeah oh yeah watch mate i'm watch it's like a baby when they first start moving can you see that that's weird yeah
Starting point is 00:03:57 so it's moving in my stomach i wouldn't call it a phantom pregnancy if you're having periods and stuff no but it feels like a baby in my stomach have you seen the film alien yeah that's what came to mind what happened the alien all burst out of your tummy oh shit so should i go to the doctors oh my god i've got something else to tell you medically no so listen to this so do you know how in the last episode you said it's fine so he said it was probably fine he's gonna write me a letter and that was that necrotic fat absolutely so then i get a text on my phone saying hi you've got an appointment at the hospital on tuesday i was like what and then i rang my mom and she was like you've had a letter as well for an appointment and i'm thinking he told me that he was just going
Starting point is 00:04:40 to message me so i rang up and i was like hi i've got an appointment but it doesn't say what for i'm not coming if it's just to discharge because i'm too busy and i'm not wasting nhs time and she said let me just have a look now so she had a look and she said i can't see much all i can say is that they've asked for a face-to-face appointment with you so then i hear the words face-to-face i'm thinking oh this is it i'm a fucking goner like face-to-face they want to tell me something bad um i mean i wasn't that worried i don't know why i don't know what's wrong with me James was having kittens my mum was panicking so they gave me the secretary of the breast people so I rang up and again she said I can't I can't tell you she said but um it could
Starting point is 00:05:15 be doesn't necessarily mean the worst it could mean that something's inconclusive or whatever anyway then I get a message saying it's been changed to a phone call but I still have to have the meeting so I'm thinking if it was something horrific they'd do face to face a hundred percent So I'm thinking it's something like my implant's ruptured or it's a cyst. Whatever it is, they want to discuss it with me. It's not just like, here's a letter. It was a necrotic fact. We don't need to do anything.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Did they get any fluid out of it when they pulled? I didn't look. When is this called? Tuesday. Tomorrow. 10 to 10. And when did you get it arranged? Friday.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Very quick, isn't it? Oh, Lucas, don't do that. It's fine. Right, so. They'd do it face to face, wouldn't they? If it was cancer, they'd do it face to face. They're doing it on the phone. So I'm thinking they obviously want to discuss something with me.
Starting point is 00:06:02 It may not be the big C, but it might be that I've got a cyst that needs removing. Oh, Lauren, stop. It might be inconclusive. Why are you crying? I might need another MRI. Biopsy? Yeah, I had a little thing. So this is what I'm thinking.
Starting point is 00:06:16 There's something or they wouldn't be meeting me. Why are you doing that? No, it's really not scary, isn't it? Her eyes are filling up with water. I'm not worried. I'm not worried. My mum's worried And James is worried
Starting point is 00:06:28 I'll be honest I'll tell you I'm not one bit worried In my gut I'm fine There's nothing wrong I know there isn't But the reason I'm telling you all Again is just to remind you
Starting point is 00:06:37 Get shit checked If you're worried about anything And if anyone knows Why my stomach is doing This moving of a baby I locked it It's moving It's my stomach's moving Lucas
Starting point is 00:06:47 Twitchy Is it Have I got hemorrhoid Not hemorrhoid Hernia Yeah but then it'd be In one place Honestly it's the strangest thing
Starting point is 00:06:56 Or I'm pregnant And I'm still having periods but i'd have to be at least four months honestly and the fact that i'm discussing this on the podcast before i've even told half the mates that i'm probably pregnant and that someone needs to book me a baby shower and what everyone on the podcast is gonna know i'm four months pregnant guys uh hopefully no hopefully not okay anyway sorry i digressed very much so where were we on nip talk right why do i do this what's wrong with me why am i so weird on that talk we want to get your voice heard you can email us at hello nip talk pod.com as you speak i'm sick of my own
Starting point is 00:07:34 voice i'm sick of my own voice you can also get in touch via whatsapp that means voice notes too which we can play out in future episodes don't worry though if you prefer to remain anonymous we will never reveal who you are simply head over to this episode's description for more information we want to know what's been getting on your tits what's giving you the ick any questions and of course your embarrassing stories basically we don't give a fuck i still have to do all the swearing don't we're back and it's weird that you won't you make me say fuck on the titles but you'll swear throughout the show
Starting point is 00:08:13 what's wrong no that's our thing it's our ting it's our ting our ting that's a new little bag you've got yourself there isn't it
Starting point is 00:08:21 meanwhile mine's been stolen it's a Louis Vuitton jacket oh my god it's a bomber I love it it's understated so it's a black bomber with
Starting point is 00:08:31 oh wow with black the what's it called the mono it's still got the tag in it that's good where from
Starting point is 00:08:39 Selfridges I know I was going to say because you went to that place didn't you oh yeah so i was working um on friday in this shop called luxe cheshire it's it looked amazing some of the bags that they've got in there you can book an appointment with them um and you go in and how much cheaper are they so much cheaper really and it wasn't just like top top designer there was all there's shoes there's coats there's amazing honestly you need to i'm a big fan of like vintage second i've got no issue with it at all i'd rather have
Starting point is 00:09:11 more things than one item that's brand new so i love going to like um we obviously we've worked with hush sucks before they're on instagram but um there's a shop in altrium and in manchester called elite dress agency wow i could spend hours in there really moving through every and then looking in all the cabinets at the jewel oh i'll take you um i saw when i went to selfridges the other day they now sell secondhand i saw some dior sunglasses that you would have loved vintage oh they're so expensive in selfridges yeah they will be well i thought that was good though that they're starting to do that i like no but like the old stuff's nice it's nice isn't it really nice and then in london there is a road next to harrods and instead of going in harrods i go
Starting point is 00:09:54 in these vintage shops and they're not like like just some of the stuff's brand new this season really yeah and it's so good next time we're in london i just i'm so torn between wanting to make plans and not wanting to do anything surely we'll have a meeting do you know what i feel like it is while it's been winter i've fully been hibernating and i've just not had anything in me to go out to see anyone i've not been to the gym i don't want to i've just been getting working hard yeah i've not been to the gym i've not been that's like i think that's all yeah it is really bad and now that it's starting to get a bit more sunny now you're i'm still think that post you put on is true today is i do feel more positive and i do feel ready for like weekend yeah well i've got
Starting point is 00:10:38 four children so it's no fun for me but i mean really fun um but i still feel like things are coming i feel like in the summer i'm going to be much more fun i've just been keeping my head down you know yeah you know and the weather has been so shit over christmas and winter and so many people are moving abroad you know and i completely understand why i really a lot of people moving to dubai and i really understand why i think this country in a lot of ways is not great at the minute lucas do you miss dubai lucas used to live there i miss the people and i miss a few bits of it but i would never move back no but i'm a gay man he's a gay man yeah but what like the people are like families that have got a lot of money i think if you're a family with a lot of money it's
Starting point is 00:11:18 why not the tax situation the tax exactly the weather i just think the crime after my thieving that wouldn't have happened in dubai because they'd have had the fucking hands cut off i think i think you can get stuck in that way of life as well and it's not real it's not real and it's so if i was a young girl though i'd do a year there i'd be there i'd be finding a husband pronto no just a year of fun even yeah but you can set yourself up there right okay life update so there's a new trend lauren and i know that you were never an app dating up person you you i went on raya you got raya because you got accepted and we all wanted to look at it yeah so we used it as like i never met anyone off raya and you didn't really like go on it i never went
Starting point is 00:12:03 on it i forgot no yeah so i used to use that yeah you liked them um i used hinge and i really really liked hinge now there is a new trend which is delete all your dating apps right and wear a green ring instead no it's really i prefer that that's really baggy what do you think lucas i think people are more baggy on dating apps yeah the pictures are topless ones are they really bad i've heard dating in this day and age is really bad yeah really quite horrific i'm so glad i'm not having to do that like my sorry sorry but anyone that puts a picture in just their underwear they want sex don't they it's like fuck off yeah they just want sex don't they girls and boys bikini right okay i don't agree with this so if i was going to do a dating profile i wouldn't just
Starting point is 00:12:52 put me in a bikini but i absolutely would have one of the pictures of me in a bikini there you're trying to attract people you there's a lot of people and you need to come up top dog you need to show your best bits and if you look good in a bikini then fucking show it okay i want this is what i want any guy listeners i want you to tell us your dream profile of a girl on a dating app yeah girl listeners i want you to tell us your dream profile of a guy we want to hear the red flags we want to hear the no's we want to hear the yeses yeah we want to hear what you want to see visually what what settings i'm going to ask a few of my guy friends and i'll report back next week right can we do a little project and can we all figure that out yeah i
Starting point is 00:13:37 agree do you know what my single friends um a lot of them come to me for like advice on stuff like i don't know why but i think that because you're not single so you should never also what you need to remember is you should never ask an unhappy person for advice yes i agree so i think when you're like married and settled and then i get yeah yeah um like you probably get a lot of your friends as well asking oh my god my phone james said the other day it's constantly going off with my friends coming to me for advice yeah and i think because i've been through the we couldn't open yeah and you can give advice when you've been through the shit and you've been cheater and you've done this and you've done that you can give the advice then and they say to me well
Starting point is 00:14:17 i'm on the apps well where do i meet someone that is a big question that is huge you know what my answer is the gym yeah or the pub so i've got my friends are beautiful stunning so am i single beautiful wealthy businesses tick tick fucking tick how are they at 30 early 30s still single because everyone's fucked you are high standards no you couldn't get any higher than my mates they are fit and i'm honestly lucas no they've got high standards uh okay yeah yeah potentially yeah potentially their standards are high but then they should match what i don't get oh is there not enough people you're not gonna meet a lad on a night out you're not really no you're not no okay that video that i sent you about girls dancing that was really interesting actually so
Starting point is 00:15:12 there was a video that um ash sent to me and it was andrew tate wasn't it which i'll be honest i don't disagree with everything andrew tate says i think he says it in the wrong way and some of it is way too much but i actually i i don't some of it i agree with yeah i agree with to a level to an extent um and he there was a video and he was basically saying girls that dance in a club not just like that like sexy sexy dance in the middle and men don't want that like girls think oh i'm the confident one i'm getting all the attention all the men are looking at me and he was basically saying they're not looking at you for the right reason they don't want to wife you they want to shag you but then you could look that the other way saying why are you intimidated
Starting point is 00:15:47 by a confident woman like it depends what angle you want to come at you could say well that's you being intimidated by confident women which means you're not the man i want but i think we have to break it down as much as we want to disagree with what he's saying let's break it down to like what neanderthals yeah but men just want you to be like they want you to be their wife they want to be the man and then so they do kind of look at you they want you to be the one in the corner that isn't getting involved because she's sad because she's you know enjoying herself but She's not out there and she's... That's the kind of man they look for.
Starting point is 00:16:14 I don't think you're going to meet a lad on a night, night out. I don't think you are. But I also don't think you should try. And you think you should be yourself. If you want the girl that dances, you should be the girl that dances. If you're the girl that sits in the corner watching, you should be that person because then you'll attract the right person for you.
Starting point is 00:16:27 I think that. I do think that places that are underrated are the pub. Who goes to the pub? On a Thursday or a Friday after about 3, 4pm, that is where the lads go. But do you want a lad that goes to the pub on a Thursday? I'm single, I guess. This is what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:16:43 Have they not got kids at our age? Yeah, but they might even. You might not have the kids that night. Yeah, okay. And my friends say, what? And then I'm like, oh, the gym. But then do you want a guy that comes up to you in the gym? Do you want a guy that's obsessed with the gym?
Starting point is 00:16:56 Absolutely not. I don't, personally. It's not a term. If anyone's got any ideas about where to meet men in your 30s. Yeah, because we're getting a lot of questions, but I don't, genuinely, I don't know the answer. um i follow this lady on tiktok and she gives really really really good dating advice why don't we take some and share with our users yes now this one um she said the best place to meet a
Starting point is 00:17:20 wealthy man is in high-end car washes you know when you go and sit in how long are you gonna she said you know when you go and sit in one of those little rooms while they clean your car she was like i'm always the only woman there's three or four other men and it's a very expensive car wash but it's worth every penny and they're trapped in a room with me and they have to talk to me there's nothing more high-end than when they come to your house and do it on your drive like me um my car's just filthy my no i like mine clean um the other thing is um not like your knickers james said you've had the same pair on since saturday how do you know he told me when it's not since saturday yesterday he rang me this morning and he said what color knickers you've
Starting point is 00:18:03 got on and all of a sudden it was like a light bulb went i forgot to change them this morning i was rushing actually i put them new on last night so like god it's not that bad and no listen so a woman that i know gave advice to my friend and she said one of the best places to find men is to go on holidays um but wherever you go go where you are going to find the man that you want to meet so if you stay in the kind of hotel yeah or you even just go with your laptop to the lobby go to the hotel of places that are the kind of man you want to attract yeah and so she was in dubai at the time so she was going to work for the day with a laptop and she was making sure that she went to the best hotels and sat in the laptop or even sunbathed there for the day whatever and
Starting point is 00:18:40 also even in this country go to the places that you want to be going to aspiration however then i just feel like it's sad that we're chasing these men around they should be chasing us i think i feel so lucky that i don't have to do this anymore and i wish there's like a limited number of men and more women there's got to be there's something but something's off something's off because there's these beautiful women that are single men lie under the radar and then when we get into our mid-30s everyone gets divorced and that's when we get the second round yeah because all the people that got together at 16 and we were all jealous of like oh you know when the early 20s are the perfect couple they got together they've not had all this awful dating
Starting point is 00:19:20 stuff there's been a lot a lot yeah and then what happens is they then in the mid-30s to 40s it doesn't work because where do you go out then in your mid-30s exactly because then you look like a bit of a dick if you're going out in your 40s all the time you can't men don't like that no but why time and energy and you've got kids yeah so that's interesting actually i think you wait for the second round girls wait for the wave when all the 16 year old 17 year old couples that got together then they'll all split up you wait for the second wave but don't go with the ones hang on in there okay anywho where were we let's have a little break babes okay let's have a break we we will be back after the break with what's on our tits and your slutty susan confessionals
Starting point is 00:20:02 welcome back now i want to know are you a loyal listener of nip tuck do you set an alarm on a wednesday do you set an alarm on a friday are you getting ready for the new release do you laugh out loud while on the train or driving to work do you piss your pants in the gym in general well why not tell your nearest and dearest all about nip tuck please start spreading the love by spreading our podcast share on instagram share on whatsapp wherever possible um go and have a Look at our socials, our TikTok, our Instas. And yeah, tag us, you know. I think you should go now onto your WhatsApp
Starting point is 00:21:02 and send the link to the people that haven't listened to it. If you know people that don't listen that would like to and you haven't told them, then you're not being very good. No, because do you know what? Some people, like you were one of them. I said to you that day, do you remember when we started this? I said, do you listen to podcasts? No, what's a podcast?
Starting point is 00:21:19 Yeah. Like there's still a lot of people that don't listen. i'm a i've got like four or five a week that i listen to time you go to things like dong baths anyway so yeah get everyone on it and yeah because honestly i keep saying this but we're doing well and it's going great and we're flying and we're always here for you but if there's you know we need to be growing guys and the more we grow the more you get of us therefore more episodes more brunches more things more more more from us yeah more content like the bigger we get the more people listen the more content we're going to give to you guys so help us out right slutty susan
Starting point is 00:21:57 we've got a confession oh okay hey you three oh i'm going to tripod oh oh christ i'm going to oh thruple david hey vibes hey you three i'm going to have to stop listening to the pod as you're costing me a fortune on love, honey. Who am I kidding? What the hell else would I listen to that's unapologetically honest and relatable, helps me drown out my two kids battering each other constantly.
Starting point is 00:22:29 I don't know why kids do that, but they do. Or kicking a football in the house. That's also really fucking annoying. Boys are absolute animals. I'm getting in touch after buying both the womanizer and the round-clugging thingamabob. The microphone.
Starting point is 00:22:42 We've been wanting to use that. I've not used a microphone. I still haven't used it. Here's me thinking, i'll spice up my marriage and my sex life obviously i needed to try both toys out before getting them out for my husband so she's given them a little try secretly hasn't she you could have given us listeners a warning girls holy shit my clit was that numb that when i pretended to open them and try them so she'd already used them put them all back again and then she's like oh
Starting point is 00:23:03 let's give it a go um with my husband i had to fake that it felt good as i was that numb i couldn't feel a chuffing thing so she'd obviously abused them heavily and on the lead up to this we've heard this we have heard this um so just keep it for a one-off thing i think great show love how open and honest you all are keep being yourself right okay um yeah we've heard that they can do that and i've actually heard that these clit suckers are destroying people's marriages and sex lives because they're so good because you can't like oh my god so there's a product that i'm still not gonna talk about yet because we've got sent something to try and it is it's incredible
Starting point is 00:23:42 I've used it over the weekend it's incredible I can't not now it's so good are you going to actually have to buy some more yeah it's so good
Starting point is 00:23:50 but I'm not speaking about it yet it's a cream isn't it maybe okay I'm not speaking about it yet but it's really really good and I have told the brand
Starting point is 00:23:59 that I love it and I want us to work with them more because I think it's insane so I'm not saying anything about it yet anywho we've got loads
Starting point is 00:24:06 coming for you okay squirty cream squirty cream okay go on next one hey huge fan of the podcasts and you all have made me laugh on my darkest days that's so sweet that's really good my story is a sex and yay stunning hopefully going to make you giggle so my situationship man and myself both work in health care so bodily fluids are are bread and butter
Starting point is 00:24:35 you don't I bet do you know what I bet people that work like for their NHS they don't give a shit I bet they have right
Starting point is 00:24:41 filthy sex because they don't give a shit they've seen it all the night before my birthday he was treating me to a meal some wine and a nice massage
Starting point is 00:24:52 I've never had that have you not which led to a blind and me absolutely spoiling oh no him absolutely spoiling me
Starting point is 00:25:01 in the bedroom oh christ have you ever done that thing where you pretend to do a stop and search let's continue this i felt like a proper pillow princess he got a selection of my toys out and was just making sure i had fun he sounds like a good guy i'm not a huge anal play fan but on this night let's say i wasn't saying no i think sometimes when you're in it you just carry on don't you using different toys he was playing with me a toy up my ass while playing elsewhere okay long story short pulled a toy out of my bum i then rolled over and out the bottom of the
Starting point is 00:25:41 blindfold i could see him wiping his hand i lifted the blindfold off and saw a tiny pellet of shit on my bed just sitting there on my bed oh no i'm so embarrassed bless him he was trying to comfort at me saying it was nothing it didn't matter and they wanted to continue all while the pellet very shamefully oh she picked it up picked it up i went to the toilet to freshen up and called it a night that was november he still treat me like it's a princess however if he ever tries to go near my bum i just think of the princess and the pellet do you remember that But the princess and the pea Which could still feel the pea
Starting point is 00:26:26 Do you know what This is why The princess and the pellet We've got the episode name guys This is why I Again It's not for me
Starting point is 00:26:36 It's so fucking risky And Lucas will say again Clean your asshole And we'll say yeah But what if you don't know And we'll go round in circles like that But yeah I imagine though
Starting point is 00:26:47 You just look under the blindfold And you can see poo on your bed Nah It's not sexy No like That would haunt me for life But like I've said They always stay together
Starting point is 00:26:55 You know He wasn't asked Do you think Like there's Do you think in the world There must be like gay people That actually do like classes Do you think
Starting point is 00:27:02 Yeah What do you think Like you can do a class On how to clean out your bottom Anal prep Just like anal sex Anal sex I'm going to google it
Starting point is 00:27:09 I don't know if I want to do this I'm going to google it now Oh god The stuff we search for On our phone Anal sex Lessons Right
Starting point is 00:27:18 Ready Pornhub porn hub how to have pain-free anal sex have you physical lessons let's put physical lessons have you seen those things lessons manchester right i'm looking for anal sex lessons in manchester anal sex with escorts strap on an arse no well lucas is our educator event whoa whoa whoa event bright which is who we did the the brunch with anal sex class tickets Wednesday the 29th of June 2022 at 7pm. Where?
Starting point is 00:27:53 22, it was last year. It was last year. Where did they do it? Where? Where were we? We'd be really... I will be covering two hours of anal sex along with answering questions.
Starting point is 00:28:02 There's a lot to cover when it comes to anal sex. I've even wrote a 161-page e-book on anal sex, which you can get free. You were right. The class is for couples and or singles. It doesn't matter if you're not dating anyone as you can enjoy anal sex all on your own. And if you are dating someone,
Starting point is 00:28:16 bring your partner for a sexy date night and you can go home and learn the tips that I've taught you. there's classes 101 and 201 levels what's that mean is that a gay thing no like 101 is like brand new 201 is like people who oh i didn't know intermediate i thought it was like a gay term and for those who've never had anal sex before and for those who have i'll be showing you toys to add in for more enjoyment i will be selling select anal toys what you will get so it's like an answer to our class about anal sex chance to ask me anything about anal sex buy toys and mingle with other members oh and you get a free cocktail there you go eventbrite if you want to
Starting point is 00:28:50 do that um so i'm leaving the podcast guys so lucas has now got a sideline have you seen on well you don't have tiktok but there's this thing that people are doing with these lube up with lucas with these tentacles and it's like a tentacle have you seen it lucas what tentacle dildos yeah so it's a tentacle and one of the girls that i follow has got this one and it's about this big and she can get the whole thing in what and it's they're colored so it goes which color can you get down to can we look at this now i don't understand what you mean so these dildos like big ones or little thin ones massive and she can get that right inside i don't understand anatomy anatomy wise and they're like curved and they've got like they've
Starting point is 00:29:35 Because you have to, like, wait on it. Right, what should I type in on TikTok? Like, tentacle. Tentacle. What, you can watch this on TikTok? Yeah. What? Because it's how they advertise their only fans.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Me watching big creator battle huge tentacles and traffic cones. Wait, what? I'm going to Google tentacle porn. No. No, I'm going to Google it now. Let's carry on recording. Tentacle. Let's carry on recording.
Starting point is 00:30:03 Just one sec. I need to know. Porn. oh god something's really weird I don't want to look at that anymore okay anyway if you want to get in touch remember on Nip Tuck
Starting point is 00:30:14 we want to get your what the fuck is that she's an only fans the tentacle brothers they're three foursome of them I need to watch this I'm going to Google it after I need to watch it
Starting point is 00:30:36 going inside somebody and understand it yeah tentacles anyway if you want to get in touch and tell us any if you've used the tentacle thing I've had four
Starting point is 00:30:44 no if people have they can tell us they can get in touch oh okay you can email us hello at niptuckpod.com you can also get in touch via WhatsApp
Starting point is 00:30:52 so that means voice notes too and we can play them out in future episodes but don't worry if you want to remain anonymous about your naughty tentacle stories then we will never reveal who you are
Starting point is 00:31:03 Simply head to this episode's description for more information. I thought it was going to be a dildo. Got into a whole new load today. No, so I thought it was going to be a dildo with tentacles as in loads of different little ones. And you could put them in all sorts of holes at once, like ears, vagina, bum. Please don't forget to give us a glowing five-star review. Why would you not? The content we've brought today, why would you not review it five-star?
Starting point is 00:31:26 We're going to be back with a bonus, baby. And that will be on Friday. It's all about your icks and dilemmas. so if you send something in now you might get to hear it on this friday's episode see you later bye

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