Nip Tuck - The Wedding of the Year!

Episode Date: September 24, 2024

Right guys its been a long time in the making bur our Lauren is finally married. We spill all the tea and go into even more depth on our bonus episode this Friday. You can listen to that by subscribing to Patreon or Apple Subscription. We also have a very nostalgic chat because X Factor is now 20 years old (wtf!) and when did you get your first thong? Join our Patreon community patreon.com/niptuckpod Send us an email [e-mail] Follow us on socials - @niptuckpod Music courtesy of BMG Production Music Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

guys hi and welcome to nip tuck not giving a fuck here we are and lauren is married finally finally it's all over um lauren is a wife yeah well you were before i was a secret wife wasn't now i'm like a fully fledged i've got my ring on it looks stunning thank you so the tea from lauren's wedding let's pick out some highlights okay so when did we get back we got back like i think i've been married a week now which is cute isn't it and it's been a year since i got um engaged so that was a quick fucking turnaround and i only met him 14 months ago yeah that's a joke that's a joke i did meet him before so we're married we had a wedding you were pissed yeah i was pissed yeah it was good it was really good me and christina though had a near-death experience

do you know about this oh my god you told me many times spoke about at the wedding rotated story that basically tell us again we were sat at the bottom of some steps by the way someone posted a picture on instagram at the bottom of those fucking steps the other day and i was like yeah because we'd sat there smoking yeah we were sat at the bottom of some spanish steps having a fight and then this piece of metal missed my head by one centimeter so it was you know those trolleys that you carry drinks like crates on and they're like really heavy so they like a pulley thing yeah so they were carrying like crates of drinks up these steps and then all of a sudden this trolley just fell from the top of the steps all the way down as she was sat

there i my hair was up i got up and like i've never moved so fast in my life and i just did it was all like slow motion yeah and we were like oh and if i'd have been like literally about that much that way my head would have got knocked i would have been so pissed off i would have been i would have ruined your whole wedding you wouldn't have felt would you have still got married if i'd have died yeah no you wouldn't lauren lauren yes i would have had to have done very not demure is that not demure i would have put your i would have rolled your head to the bottom of the steps and shut the door and pretended it didn't happen and i was like anyway drinks anyone any so basically she looked stunning it was an amazing day she's written a blog on patreon

all about it so um so anyway moving on no did anyone do anything really weird like at the like did anyone get told off no so there was there was bits of drums nothing mega i mean everyone was so pissed it was amazing because everyone got there like three days before the wedding so everyone i highly recommend done it twice now and abroad really recommend it because you get there like normally you go to a wedding you don't really know half the people there so you get there and it takes a while for everyone to bond whereas when you do a wedding like that we'd had like three days together before the actual wedding so everyone had been on a few meals we've been on nights out everyone had bonded like my family that hadn't met some of his and his friends were all like besties

because everyone makes besties on holidays don't they um so everyone was in like a really good space drama so first of all the night before our wedding when i was happily in the room with the two girls getting ourselves ready with our face masks james was in magaluf getting his mate's name tattooed on his ass i don't understand why he did that nobody understands why i mean and he kept going to me do you think she's pissed off and i was like no but it's very strange i didn't care really so i'm there we've got this group chat and i'm there with the girls with our little you know getting all ready for the wedding and he's out with everyone everyone went out obviously i couldn't because i thought i can't be what was the name again scott so he's got scott on his

arse cheek um so yeah it's not good i don't give a fuck like what i've got listen if i'm going to be judging bad tattoos but i didn't read it properly and i just thought that he'd got lauren put on there obviously and then when i saw it was scott i was like but why but why because four of them all went in which is just such a blokey english thing to do and it's the kind of thing that i'd do oh my god i would have done it if we'd have gone in i'd have got ash on my ass if i was pissed absolutely no bother so i'm there and i'm like looking at my chat and i'm like oh he's fucking steaming fuck's sake next thing he's in a tattoo place and i'm just like how about you go to bed and everyone thought i was fuming but i actually gave zero fucks yeah i knew that was

i gave zero fucks so anyway yeah i got that on his ass i saw it the other day actually and i thought oh yeah um and then he was fine though he wasn't hungover and then the next day the other drama was one of the little ones walked into a glass door at the morning of the wedding she's fine we're all good you couldn't actually see the mark on you couldn't see it so literally we went down for breakfast and you know those like big glass doors that they have oh my god you were in the same hotel as me weren't you yes were you there when a seagull attacked everyone at breakfast we were like severely hungover sat at the table and then we just heard all these plates smashing and this massive seagull and it flown in because it's all quite open planning yeah yeah and everyone was

like ah and there's a seagull flying around no i wasn't there then um but yeah she just as we're walking in numb nuts walked into a bloody glass door it happens bang and i know she was amazing she was fine but yeah she had a big egg and i thought oh not on the wedding day but it went down bit of makeup sorted it out um what else was there oh my god there was a massive drama at the end of the night absolutely huge huge drama um one of our guests slipped no it was ambulance the lot have i not told you you've not told us have i not told you no i'm not gonna say who just because i don't want her to feel embarrassed or anything it was very hazardous venue do you remember when stacy fell over stacy fell over the whole time yeah no but it was that's why i knew it

was going to be like that so more kitten heels so basically um it got to i think we were finishing at one it was about 12 o'clock and i was dancing away next thing i heard like a commotion i looked to the side and saw a pair of legs on like someone goners james runs over thank god he'd done his first aid because the person had slipped smashed her entire face onto the floor completely unconscious James had to put his hand in her mouth and do the whole so she wasn't fitting pull her tongue up the whole lot

why was she having a fit? yeah the whole he had to do everything on the floor his dad was there everyone was on the floor and she was unconscious for quite a while we had to ring an ambulance and we had to

the whole thing stopped what number did he call? I don't know I didn't ring it I guess one of the staff did and then she kind of came round a little bit and then went again she had chipped all the front teeth

fully bruised like really really awful we had to stop the whole wedding it was finished so we finished at like half 12 i forgot to tell you why am i like this i just forgot i did not know that yeah so then the lights had to go on everything stopped i've been on the phone is she okay now she's all right now really shook up had to go to a dentist had to her teeth were all mangled really really horrific okay we're fine now but she was really upset um she was really worried that she'd spoil the wedding but she absolutely didn't it was like half 12 we were going to be stopping lights on ambulance i had to ring the coach to get them to come earlier to take everyone home like it was done lights on she was on the floor ambulance the lot can you imagine i

totally forgot that happened um so that wasn't ideal but she's fine and we're fine and she didn't ruin anything else any um takeaways any other takeaways no it was amazing i haven't had any kind of come down like people have a come down after don't they like everyone kept messaging me saying are you feeling all right do you feel like i come down not at all i enjoyed every second of it dead grateful for it and i was like right i'm done now i'm ready to move that was amazing let's move on don't regret any a penny spent don't regret it because obviously afterwards you're looking at anything did you spend a lot on it it felt like you did yeah it was expensive it was i actually don't exactly know more than 30 yes more than 40 yes

fucking hell you could have got a facelift for that i know i could have got two i could have got a facelift and arson plan well if you'd have gone turkey i know it was expensive but do you know when people you look back and it's just for one day i don't regret it i don't regret a second of it we had the most unreal time we've just smiled ever since and been like what a fucking how lovely and james cried all day he did all day and he cried all day the next day as well um the food was absolutely gorgeous yes i barely ate food was so good normally we were all like normally food is shit yeah and you kind of know it's gonna be and i was thinking like uh and then the food came and we were all like everyone ate everything well i actually put in the group didn't

i guys get a good meal in you before yeah because it's we're not eating till later and sometimes wedding food shit but it was yeah i barely there was loads of food kept coming kept coming yeah you did a very good job i did steph said that she's a wedding planner well not a wedding planner sorry an event planner and she said actually you did it was better than i expected and i'll be totally honest i wasn't a bride i wasn't panicking i wasn't a bride i was pretty like it is what it fucking is and the band made it fantastic the band so it was party lab mallorca um very very expensive but what like how much like they are 15 grand now i didn't pay 15 but for bookings now it's 15 grand um yeah are people all right have you ever been to a wedding with shit music because

yes it makes the whole thing so when we went to the terrace and they were singing and they were that it did if you didn't have that it would have been like what in the background young hearts do you know i mean like it would have been dead and then they got us dancing when when i was up with the when you were under the vet like they did all that and i think if you're gonna pay x amount for a wedding and they're not have good music you might as well shove it up your ass it's a waste of money have you been to weddings as well where no one goes on the dance floor yeah because that's terrible lauren had a word with me and she was like mate as soon as i've done as soon as i've done my first dance our first dance everyone keeps asking this was

really cool song stars by simply red really cool anyone who ever hurt you yeah so that was good yeah all good so while we're on wedding chat i think let's get some questions yes in um you did a little q a though on your insta and wow no the dress one oh my god so somebody asked me so when leading up to the wedding obviously there'll be new listeners here so i'll just like leading up to the wedding i tried loads of dresses on and i actually put them all on instagram didn't i the ones that i wasn't gonna wear you did like a video i did a video of a reel of all different dresses and one of the questions and they were all very different very different and one of the questions was what made you choose that dress

after all the beautiful ones you tried on and i was like oh i liked it i just say and then the best one the fucking best one was did it feel different to your first wedding because guys i've been married before eight years ago i got married for a very short period of time to a very short period of time to thea's dad um and yeah so this question was did it feel different to the first time yeah well yes it was a different man yeah my response to that what do you want me to say to that what is the answer to that like it's mental but i'll tell you what has been really nice i've had a lot of people and especially on patreon and our little gang on there because we've spoke loads on there to everyone yeah um saying that it gave them a

bit of hope so this is the mad thing about life right so if you've listened to the podcast from the beginning or if you go back a little bit when you listen to our episodes even two years ago i'm single pringle you were out living your life on raya i was here there and everywhere i was telling my shagging stories i was like it looked like i was never gonna like guys just go back about 18 months and listen right and the point of this is life can change in the blink of an eye and then all of a sudden i met this guy perfect guy for me done dusted engaged married happily ever after yeah and the point of that is if you're sat there we get a lot of messages from people i feel like i'm never going to meet someone i feel like i'm this age and a lot about being single

moms about being single moms yeah we were both single moms like yeah life can change really quickly so just enjoy what you're doing right now because all it takes is to walk around the corner and meet someone and that's it everything's going to change so like don't stress about the time lauren thank you like you don't know what's going to happen around the corner so just chill guys the man will come when the man is ready right what i've got a present for you i've got you a wedding present now i know you didn't want my face present it's something weird isn't it she's got me something fucking weird is this like the time when you did the wayne lineker video in the middle of it if you didn't come to our live show guys in the middle of the fucking show she

brings a video a personalized video from wayne liniker on stage he was very good he was very good at his yeah it was well worth the how much was it 130 quid 130 quid for a message from wayne like what we wanted dean gavney but he wouldn't respond to our messages maybe he's more than 130 yeah right guys i know you love candy it's a candy thong wait right so my i'm like let's give them some if you don't listen my friend where the fuck did you buy this tom have you ever worn have you ever had a girl wear a candy thong yes or no yes were you about 18 at the high time when everyone wore them no it was last week we know his wife have you have you i can't remember you will have and she's scared yeah he's gone because he's gonna go back and his missus is

gonna be like who let me check your insta list lauren has worn a candy thong i've worn a candy in a serious way when i was about 18 do you not remember we spoke about this on the other pod when you were like when you first started having sex and you had your first boyfriend you started doing like the chocolate whip cream the chocolate body paint all that weird chocolate body paint and it was like plastic um yeah so at that point of life where you're like looking into sexuality and you've just started having sex one of the things is a candy thong and i have where the fuck did you get this like where's this i got it on amazon i thought you were gonna say it was yours from like no i just put it on amazon it was like a tenner a tenner for a candy mate we

could make some money on candy oh my god i need a picture of you in this right now i've been working on my ass actually a lot of people asked if i've had something done to my bottom and i absolutely haven't um she's putting it on fat ass it actually looks quite can i have a nibble i wish i could twerk i've got your present mommy's picture up from school darling that's going in the sweet drawer and she will be chomping on that for about a week so we've got a couple of new listeners here and i just wanted to give a brief overview we'll touch on a few things for anyone new so lauren and i started the podcast three years

three years ago we worked together from being about 21 22 yeah we're in mid 30s now we worked in cosmetic surgery hence the name nip tuck but it's it's evolved it really has spiraled to some mad stuff now um i have three kids i have one biological and three others step step i don't like saying step i feel like that doesn't feel like my part my husband has three children you always say partner i'm married i married my ex-boyfriend but i had a kid in between with someone else so i've got i've got two baby dads yeah three kids i've still only got one baby dad all right hon will you get some going for me um yeah say what you want about me being married twice but i've only got one baby dad uh yeah so we've got we've got complex situations haven't

we it's taken a while to get us to where we are we've settled down now we've settled down we've both been single mums um i was married and then i split up with my little girl's dad when she was like six weeks so i had a real shitter loads of bad relationships met james lovely lovely happy ending ashley went off had another baby went back with her ex and he's now married with another two so that's kind of a synopsis of us and if you do listen back to the old episodes have a listen you should because it's very funny very funny like the the progression yeah is nice isn't it yeah so yeah that is that's us oh my god one thing though we'll talk about on the bonus more so we can be a bit more in depth but um ashley posted a picture because obviously

you don't post the bride it's a fucking yeah and she'd asked and i said don't either but you just i wanted to do my wedding picture yeah everyone wanted to do the wedding when you get on the plane who yeah you wonder you don't but nobody posts the bride so the bride has it's like obvious you just don't do it anyway so ashley put a few wedding pictures and then a picture of her and james at the wedding obviously it was a nice nice picture obviously they weren't snogging just like it wasn't there was no hand on crotch she was straddling she was straddling him no it's just a nice picture and everyone went wild for it everyone first of all thought that that was your husband like they've not like you've got a picture of ed on your probably it's not him

secondly um they were kind of fuming that you put a picture of you and jay they were and then thirdly they were pissed off that ed wasn't at the wedding i wouldn't be pissed off if you put a picture of you and ed on no i don't get it let's talk about in the bonus yeah yeah we need to talk about why ed wasn't there and all that shit as well because people are really interested in that like what he didn't what anyway so we're going to talk about that on the bonus right okie dokie then lauren you know i love a little tiktok scroll you really do don't you and out of all of the very interesting by the way has anyone seen that jet 2 video of the the turbulence no i'll show you at lunch it's fucking hilarious i've never been

they put the sound on it's like book a jet to holiday and everyone's like and then this woman starts praying it's like water on it i've never been on a heavy turbulence plane yeah it was bad on my way home yeah i was reaching for the pram um right okay so out of all of the tiktoky things one thing really resonated with me yeah x factor oh yeah is that still going mate it's been around for 20 years shut up 20 years oh my god do you remember i remember being home at this point in the living room when it first started it was fantastic back in the day it was on simon cowell was he in it from day one i think he was wasn't he yeah it was his idea and do you remember like back there and he was like the first do you remember ann robinson

yeah it was horrible who wants to be a millionaire you couldn't do that now weakest link you couldn't do that now like she used to look at people like and who's cut your hair today like she was i liked it i loved it and simon was the same but now everyone's too bloody soft you couldn't do it i just think it's like the same thing as like big brother it's like it it's been going for that long every time you know what to expect there's always going to be an x yeah it's gonna be a drama there to do a sob story there's gonna be a remember the one that girls allowed were on oh i liked that i liked that that was and do you remember will young and gareth gates yes but listen do you not remember one was it nadine lied about her age and it came

out and then she was they found a passport and she was like i'm at a query she's like i've been lion that was before girl that was she did some pop idol in ireland or something and then she came back for pop stars arrivals that was reality tv and you know what that's when it could be reality tv now there are so many rules about upsetting offending wording that you can't do that shit when you watch stuff back though because there's loads of like reels and stuff about this like when you watch the fact fucking hell it was harsh like you just and you do think oh my maybe that was too you know i feel like some of the people were quite vulnerable as well which i don't like no because to be fair i worked on big brother i worked in the casting department and we would

have to do a psych assessment on people before they went well some of them weren't done thoroughly let me tell you i think that it was very just a tick box exercise have you got any problems no because about like a high percentage of people were already on anti-anxiety mind you everyone in the country is they are yeah but uh it was it was definitely a tick box exercise but now i mean if you have a look about like the people that have killed themselves that have been on like howie i've been listening to the lauren guja podcast is so i have only listened to a bit of that i meant to listen to it tomorrow and then we end up on the phone didn't we but i've listened to some of the clips and it was the clips i saw were really sad i really she seems like a lovely

girl she actually does and i think because i've got goosebumps you know her stuff with mark right it was like the media just put him on a pedestal and attacked her what a surprise she was saying as well about how like she's been robbed so many times um by people that she knows close to her yeah yeah it's it's sad you know because she lost a baby as well didn't she it's really i'm gonna listen to that on the way home really sad she seemed lovely she seemed very sad and it just shows you that you think you know somebody because she i've listened to the beginning bit and she's like i've been on telly for 15 years but nobody knows me yeah and she was like i've never done a podcast before i've been asked so many times but what what i'm coming back to here in the whole

20 years of x-factor i'm gonna say some of the people uh that were on there just quickly can i just say do you remember one thing that's just popped into my head we're talking about big brother that girl that was at kinga when she put the wine bottle up her vagina that would not be and also like i feel like once you have been in reality tv or on tv even like on a soap then everyone puts you in that box and you probably you couldn't get a job at tesco no and you like public property yeah aren't you like you're like you're not a real human anymore honestly be so damaging oh yeah i i really think i think it could there's people that have done amazingly out of it but it is something yeah it's you've got to have a good mental even like you know when you see young

people now going on love island it's not the same as what it used to be at all and i just think like once you've done that at such a young age can you go back yeah i'm not sure i've got a friend and she's got a twin sister and they went on i feel like it might have been x on the beach and they have said afterwards that they really regretted that because the way it was edited and it also put them in a category that they couldn't get out of awful right so um so x factor i'm gonna just read a couple out to you sam bailey do you remember her with the gap in her teeth yes and the big boobies raksu raksu we've listened to a song of theirs what was it what was the song shane ward he went on to be in cory yeah he was he was really fit yeah i think he's probably still

fit leona lewis she's done so well see that's somebody who's just taken it and ran she was fantastic she's american um james arthur he's done well so james arthur is my favorite artist of all time love him we were going to use him for some of our wedding songs and then we didn't and i can't remember why love him love him love him um they've split up now i think but they did no they were amazing they were amazing yeah so they're some of the people that have one direction didn't win it but remember oh they've done so well absolutely huge god can we talk about liam what just did general general fuck yeah cheryl darling character odd character no like you need to watch some of the tiktoks it's like he's got like you know when you can't tell where someone's

from and they've got that boyfriend yeah it's like me after a drink i go half back to rochdale and up and down yeah yeah that was a funny one and also cheryl even going out with what was that that was odd so basically i went online the other day i've ordered us some heat magazines from like 20 years ago we're going to london to buy a heat magazine whoever made that that song will forever like whenever i go to london that comes into my head like that was a fantastic marketing we probably got some younger listeners so they might not know what shite we're chatting now but do you remember like body shaming of women back then was absolutely horrific like trini and susanna yeah i was so bad that um what was that lady called with the glasses like this and the bond

hair 20 years younger i don't know yeah 20 years younger it was called how bad is that 20 years younger no then they had that program in america called the swan oh my god i did my dissertation on that so i interviewed people that had been on the swan so basically what it was you could probably watch it on youtube now really interesting they got women and it was only women and they all had cosmetic surgery and they lived in a house together there's another makeover there was another makeover program where people had surgery yeah it was and it was uk one yeah what was it called 10 years younger was it that was it that and they they had surgery and everything so anyway there was all these programs where you go in and have surgery and i interviewed people like 10

years after it and they literally were like so so fucked after it because they'd chip a veneer yeah and they couldn't afford a new one yeah they their hair extensions just ended up growing out and then they couldn't afford the maintenance and it's so damaging and imagine like putting breast implants in someone and then something happens and they can't do anything yeah very very very toxic um and then do you remember jessica simpson and nick lachey i loved newlyweds i loved them so much he is a massive narcissist yeah listen to her book allegedly allegedly her book is fantastic and she reads it babe i'll send you the link for the order and we'll abuse i think the chaps in their books called death by mom jeans when she like was performing she's

wearing mom like high-waisted mom jeans when they were like really in fashion there's like we remember when high-waisted just yeah i still wear mom jeans but it was like super high-waisted gorgeous and everyone was just like talking about how big she was and stuff and well do you remember she did that daisy jukes she was the wow with the little shorts and it was like she was told like not to eat and everything so that's how she got there then when she was pregnant she had preeclampsia she got really big in pregnancy didn't she it wasn't like but it was you know when someone's got preeclampsia kim kardashian gets it as well it's like where you get yeah yeah water yeah it's very dangerous as well um and people were really horrible to her i remember and then so i've ordered

this heat magazine and honestly guys we're gonna tear it apart because it's so fucking bad like the front page used to be they used to put an arrow and a circle onto bad areas of cellulite oh my god i'm sorry but there's just one here that i need to read out it's a it's a front cover emma bunton gorgeous spy girl there is an arrow to her head saying large saying emma's large forehead and then there's a picture of britney spears and they've circled her knee and put um oh my god britney scar they're shaming someone for having big hands wow this is horrific they definitely put big forehead on me oh my god same that is horrific it's so bad and then have you seen jacqueline wilson's back yes oh my god so i the sleepover club i have got such like

nostalgia so tracy beaker was a bit later for me it was girls in love and there was a girl called ellie i think she was and she had ginger hair and i think she was quite curvy from just like what i remember and i remember reading it and it was at an age where i was about to probably hit puberty and i it was my bible and i would reread any rude do you remember adrian adrian i read that like a porno yes i read that like a porno absolutely did do you remember i would read it like read the rude bits again and again and again and i did that with jacqueline wilson do you know girls in love right so that she did girls in love girls girls under pressure girls out late and it was like a trilogy i remember there was three mates it was just like pre-teens pre-teens yeah

and so basically she's um released a book for adults and it's what ellie and magda and nadine are doing now wow i'm listening to the minute i can't wait for it yeah you know i looked i read like a little bit of a like synopsis of it but i remember like there's just certain parts of it that she was the books were slightly older than i was and it was things like i think it mentioned maybe things like pubes or i can't remember it didn't mention pubes i just remember pubes and periods and i remember being an age where i was nearly there and i was reading it again period pubes period pubes because i was desperate for pubes and period do you know what i mean like and i remember reading it i can't wait till i snog someone and it's like snogging and with

tongs with tongs and it's like i'd read it again to learn like she was i actually i went to see her book signing me and my mum and i must have only been about 10 11 and she did a book signing and i went with my friends somewhere like smiths and i went and watched she did like a talk read a bit of a book and and signed it she's um she's interesting i think she's very good i don't know if i'd like the book now i'm not gonna lie i'm listening i want to listen because i'm not really like i don't know if i'll read it i'm not a bookie person really but i love an audio and tracy was fantastic as well i've just downloaded pete wicks's one as well there was another one where the mum had tattoos and the mum had something and it was um illustrated

and the mum and the mum basically now i'm older i realized had mental health issues do you remember leaving the daughter and she had tattoos and she was a bit weird and and it's actually do you know what really good book about me terrible tattoos and a mental health problem oh maybe i'm Maybe I might give it to Thea so she's got some help growing up. And her mum kept leaving her and stuff. So you don't leave her? No. No.

But I just remember. Yeah. That was fantastic. Also, shops. Kukai. I never bought anything from Kukai. May 6th, I did. I loved it.

And they had, like, the Alexander McQueen-inspired tops with your boobies on. I don't remember that. Tammy Girl. It was the parachute pants for me. And the jungle pants. The tops from B-Tam. there was a different woman on each one and the arms were crochet yeah and the top was like a different do you remember and it's a different woman like i bought my first thong from tammy

girl i will never forget buying my first thong i was desperate for one same how am i gonna get my mum right to allow this so this is what i did i'm such a clever i'm such a manipulative little bitch even when i was young so i remember basically wearing some trousers and going to my mum god i can really see my knickers it's making me really self-conscious i wasn't self-conscious i wanted a thong and i knew she played into my hands how old were you about 12 12 yeah and then she was like oh it's all right and then i'd put another pair i just feel really conscious mom i can really see my knickers and it's really ruining my people keep looking vpl and i knew and then i remember one day her going look if it's really concerning there are a type

of knicker that you could buy and i'm thinking i know exactly what and she's like it's playing into my hand it's called a thong a thong mummy anyway she went i'm gonna get you some but you don't tell your dad and i remember getting them right and then purposely pulling them right up and bending over near my dad on purpose so that he knew because i wanted to cut i can't remember i wanted him to know and then i remember him going i remember him going liz she's wearing a thong and my mom being like you told me you said you wouldn't tell him and i was like oh god do you remember though they used to sell like padded bras to 13 year olds i remember i used to get them and do you remember those bras with the clear bra straps but they were actually more

noticeable and they'd go orange yeah so funnily enough for the wedding i didn't wear knickers in the end but i bought some nude at the front and then the side actually good if you ever need these were they from opal they were i can't remember yeah i think it might be amazon actually and the side of them was that bra strap yeah actually really good if you ever need that but i didn't wear them in the end miss selfridge miss selfridge still going no uh no i don't think is it jane norman jane it's the bag for me the jane norman jane nor jane nor and then you'd have it on your shoulder and you'd put your pk in it yeah yeah i remember that the jane norman bag 60 i never wore miss 60 but i remember buffalo trainers what are they did you inhale you wore miss 60 jeans

what were buffalo trainers i wore pods or um and kickers yeah kickers or rock ports morgan i wore rock ports morgan yeah god do you remember all that very very nostalgia but we there's so like girls boys can we talk about like nostalgic makeup one day as well yeah these were the buffalo boots let me look what i did not wear them and they had like glitter on them but what i did wear is what we used to call pasty shoes um and they were rochdale yeah you got them rochdale market not even lying and they were because i went to their old time they were a slip-on can we talk about how lauren worked in the shoe factory i used to pack boxes when i was 14 in the shoe factories rosendale so i'm not from rochdale i'm from rosendale oh my god yeah so rosendale

is a very well known for shoe and factories and i worked there from being 14 it was the worst job i have ever had i would wake up in sweats dreading going and it would be there for 10 hours you'd be freezing cold you had to get fingerless gloves and you would be packing boxes and putting stickers on and you just couldn't wait for your lunch to have a sandwich it was honestly and then i'd get home and just be like it was freezing did you earn about three quid an hour i don't even remember what i earned but back then i did i had money yeah i had money i started young you know but that was a hooch coats oh my god the hooch coats with the fur yeah amazing and the pom-pom thing looks as well right nostalgia finished done we've put that away in a box we'll send in any funny

bits though gals yeah please do right guys today has been a bing bong boo a little bit hasn't it yeah here we go that's what we're here for right we've got a dilemma it's a long my level i'm gonna read it because you'll get distracted and start reading the next sentence before you finish the one that you're on so i'm gonna read it hi girls first time writing him i love the pod so it's a bit of a classic boyfriend's mum case here i'm gonna get straight into it me and my boyfriend have been together five years now i'm 20 oh only baby and he's 21 she won't remember any of the bloody stuff we've just talked about no definitely not for reference anyway i love his family and i spend a lot of weekends at his house with them we both still live at home while i'm

studying his mum has always been so kind to me however she's starting to get on my nerves i'm a student and i had a really hard week on placement my boyfriend knew i was struggling and came home with some flowers for me for reference he doesn't often get me flowers so when he does it's really special anyway i came downstairs to get some water for the vase his mum saw the flowers and asked him why he didn't get her any when she's his mum and he she's done much more for him in life yeah she still makes his sandwiches and packs him snacks for lunch at work oh my god no that's an ick at 21 though i don't know you think i ignore that oh my god if i saw a lad with the oh my god no it's an ick but at 21 if you're still living at home my mum still

makes me sandwiches but i'm a girl my mum makes me sandwiches for the plane and puts a sticker with my name on the back your mum makes really good really good sandwiches ashley has had a bag of those sandwiches oh and it will have had your name on i can remember it now if you're listening send me a sandwich so i ignore this comment i carried on doing what i was doing but it made me feel uncomfortable as well as this i'm very slim and i've got a really childlike body i'm saving up for a boob job his mum always points points out how slim i am is she not slim that's making me i used to get that a lot when i was young and she thinks it's a compliment but it makes me really uncomfortable as i can see her staring at my body when she's speaking to me

every dinner she speaks about the calories in every bite she eats and restricts herself from alcohol because of the calories so this is deflection that's not fun deflection honey she's deflecting because she's jealous as much as i feel bad for it it's starting to make me watch what i eat and i know i shouldn't worry about my age if we ever go and pick up a takeaway she'll also stand over us while we eat it asking for some and asking all about it and why we didn't pick her up anything wow i've got something on this at the end of this i'm literally stuck with what to do i'm beginning to start to not want to leave his room because i hate having dinner there we're both saving up to buy a place and i can just imagine it's going to get worse

i can't leave him but i can't put up with it any longer and i'm quite a sarcastic person and i want to say something but i'm worried my boyfriend will get really annoyed as been as he's been so nice to me as has she from the whole relationship tell me what to do girls it's draining even going to see my boyfriend and he can't really stay at mine because of work incidences incidences does that mean is this going to get where oh does she mean like where they work and stuff and like timings is this going to get worse as we get older have you ever had this is she going to be one of those mums who's going to make everything about her at the wedding yes probably please help me girls i'm about to snap so you so i was never slim but you've always been very thin really when you were

younger yeah you probably understand the negative comments that actually so bad like i used to get it all the time it'd be like why are you so thin do you not eat because you were i'm not not that you're not now but you were tiny and you had no boobs i do just eat what i want like and when i was younger i used to like eat more to like when we met you were stick thin with no breasts yeah you were quite like that's me you weren't womanly just tiny yeah so anyway i used to get it all the time and and i used to always go home crying to my mum and i'd be like it's not acceptable because someone won't go why are you so big yeah no it's true yeah it's really really bad absolutely totally agree so what's going on here is this woman has got some form of issue with food god

knows what it is hence she is counting her own calories diet culture though yeah talking about her own calories that we've just been talking about and then she is then the reason what you have to remember is the re and this is something that you're only 20 you're going to need to learn this now because this is going to happen throughout your whole life male or female people project their insecurities onto you so this woman has clearly got some form of eating issue issue around food and the reason she keeps pointing out how slim you are is because she feels like she wants to be and to be fair do you know what i probably do that to people maybe sometimes without realizing wow you look tiny and i mean it in a loving way we think that's a comment because we'd like to

be tiny it's a head fuck and i'm not saying we're perfect and we're absolutely not like the way that you were talking about yourself getting into your wedding dress yes you were going i'm nil by mouth yeah no yeah we're all we all have and we need to be learning we're learning and what's really important is trying around your children not to so if i if i'm like feeling i would never say in front of there like i'm fat i have oh i'm not eating that because i've eaten too much today it's really tough and as mums like it is really tough so answering this one your question the best thing you can do you're not going to be able to change his mother she's never going to change however old she is now she's stuck in these ways so the best thing to do is work out how you're

going to deal with that because you can't change her you love your boyfriend and she probably is going to be that woman at the wedding that makes it about her she probably is going to be that woman so what you need to do is find your own coping mechanisms for this so you need to be a bit thicker skinned you need to learn to have like a box and when she speaks the sound goes into it yeah like just block it out block it out smile and block it out the second you let it in like you are doing now you're going to start getting pissed off at her yeah she's going to start winding you up and the only person that's actually going to suffer through this is you because she doesn't care she's not wound up the only person that's going to be wound up is you so you now

have to literally be like right she is who she is this is it i'm going to have to deal with this when she talks about your weight again i think you're well within your rights to say would you say that about a fat person no no i wouldn't deal with it in that way i i would but in a night like the jokey way no i'd just say oh please come on guys let's stop talking in that kind of way i'd go because the passive aggressive might get back up and i love a bit of passive yeah yeah fair enough i'd be like it's like guys come on you don't need to worry about your weight let's please stop that chat because if we ever have a child one day or whatever we should all be kinder to ourselves just act all airy-fairy about it yeah at first or even yeah or even just

yeah something along the lines of like right okay enough about my weight now enough about my size now right okay i get it in a kind of jokey way and you've mentioned it but so then you've done it she probably won't listen but get that done and then i just think in the future you are going to have to learn to let it go over your head let it go over your head she has the issue here and be grateful that you can go and get a takeaway without checking the calories yeah just be grateful and actually really almost feel a bit sorry for her yeah she's not in a good place if she's doing no and and there was that like 90s diet culture like this which yeah no the mum will have been yeah stuck in that yeah and it's not like the mum probably isn't that much older than us i know my

grandma used to be like i remember once she's because my grandma was like tiny yeah she was absolutely hilarious and i remember she was like black coffee and a fag all the time and she used to buy me fags actually and i remember once um she was like at the bin putting washing up liquid on her meal and i was like grandma what are you doing and she was like so i don't eat the rest of it see that it was dead normal that kind of shit is mad so what you have to remember is this woman is still a human or she's still a woman salt on it and stuff she's still a human she's still a woman she has her own issues like we all do leave her to it you need to put now a box around yourself of protection from that and it bounces off like almost imagine you've got a shield so you start

having dinner she makes a calorie comment boing off your shield carry on there's no point she's not going to change is she now she's a grown woman she isn't going to change um try and reduce how much she speaks to your boyfriend you could have one quite serious conversation with him about it and then leave it at that yeah and also just be really grateful that they're they're you know the like you in their home to live because it is their home and you're in their home and they have their ways and you're in there so you do have to give it a bit of that i think you're gonna have to block it because if you get married she may be a dick at the wedding and again you put your shield up bing bong boo not bothered let it bounce off um but yeah you're gonna have to get a

thicker skin on this one i think 100 my love right right i feel like we've done wedding we've done nostalgia we've done a dilemma and i think we're done let's go into the ball let's do the bonus so guys if you aren't ready for this to end we have a bonus over on patreon so we did a bit of a wedding wrap up there there is so much more to be said but i know not everyone's that interested so i am in the process of doing a blog i might do a few and i'll pop them over on patreon so you can read them i'm going to put all my pictures on there there's a wedding i'm going to put the wedding video on there i think there's some really good stuff on patreon at the minute did you see that Home Bargains

posted the Mamma Mio stuff yes yeah we've always got there's all sorts going on there the bargain sharing is my favourite whenever we see a bargain

we pop it in there but if you aren't ready for this episode to be over then get onto Patreon or Apple subscription because we have a bonus every week

so you can continue to listen to us we're going to talk a bit more about the Ed thing I want to get into that let's get into it and a few more chats

so yeah so we'll see you on Patreon this Friday gang we love you loads bye you