Nip Tuck - Three Words Of Wisdom

Episode Date: November 29, 2023

We're days from December, so Ashley and Lauren share their advice on what/ when and how much to spend on a fella. Unsurprisingly, the girls have very different views on this... Lauren's starting to panic as news spreads that her breakfast of choice is getting banned in the U.K. and they ask a tough question: What three words of advice would you give to your 18 year old self?To sign up for Patreon for full video episodes every week and more exclusive content, click this link: https://patreon.com/niptuckpodTo get involved with the show, you can send us a DM on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod.Or you can email [e-mail] can also send us your beauty questions, dilemma's and Slutty Susan confessionals via WhatsApp! You can text or voice note the girls on [phone] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hi guys and welcome to nip tuck not giving a fuck really just not giving a fuck that's the kind of vibe i'm on right now and this is the podcast where we celebrate being positive aspirational men and women and it's about being unapologetically yourself and allowing each other to be that and just rolling with that just doing what we want really and supporting people that also want to do what they want that's what it is isn't it ashley it is exactly that lauren so on nip tuck it's all about you guys we can't do this without your contributions so we want your stories your hacks your dupes your tips your funny stuff oh we've done that funny stories just anything really that you want to share with this dilemma chat if we can have hacks tips ideas present ideas

anything that you think this could help a sister out yeah send it in send it we want to all help each other out here because life is life is tough so head over to this episode's description or hit us up on our instagram page all the details of how to get in touch are over there basically we don't we don't give a fuck no so so right you went to see katie price oh my god i did she mixes opinions doesn't she like some people love her some people can't stand her like she's a real marmite person i've gone through like i don't know what i feel i really like her i think she's an amazing woman but sometimes i'll watch things and think oh no why are you doing that yeah like she doesn't help herself yeah but then again i think that we do that yeah she's real i feel like

she's a bit like us where she does something wrong and she's guaranteed to get caught yeah yeah anything she does literally anything she's gonna get caught but as a as a person i think she's been through quite a lot and she reminds me of me yeah me because she's had some really bad boyfriends and stuff and every time she rolls into it yeah head first and it fucking goes wrong and it's she was very funny tell us she was very funny um so it was like her live podcast show with her sister me and edwin um did you have to force him to go or was he very up for it up for it i love that he loves katie price um and you just wouldn't think that it was such a good show she did a really really good job i love going to see different things like that because i just think

you're into that learn from it yeah i was at home i've been unwell you've been so poorly so it was smart it's quite it felt quite intimate from the pictures because you were sending me pictures weren't you videos and everything yeah um she's absolutely tiny like tiny and she's actually stunning is she really pretty yeah really really pretty um her boobs are massive and a bum oh she had a bum done she said she had had filler in it and a bbl no because she didn't used to have much of a bum no and it's like yeah it's good yeah she looked amazing um and her sister was lovely as well really like her sister i've seen her sister in like the early you know i used to love her reality like i love i'm a sucker watch it oh my god i'm a sucker for a reality program

and harvey did a video oh did he yeah all her kids did a video for it princess is gorgeous isn't she stunning it was really really cute and then there was like full-on like die hard katie price fans really because she has like like they were like dressed up as her like loads of gays oh my god i can't wait until like one day there was one guy there that was clearly like sniffed out of his brain who kept just shouting things and like lauren said like it was quite a small room and he was just like aggressively like katie i don't want everyone to talk shit about you but i love you and she was just sat there like thank you thanks oh that's really funny katie you look better in real life i'm just shouting random shit yeah it was a lot um and i ate like

two full bags of fruit pastas i can imagine you just sat there yeah like you are at that stage now though well home and i was just like oh fuck it so it was really really good um and yeah we need to do i would love that sorry excuse me i would love that i would love for us to do something like that yes yeah intimate it was a proper live podcast like i've never seen anything like really yeah we'll copy it we'll copy it we're gonna copy it

yeah sorry Katie I'm still thinking about us doing a hen for me it's just too chaotic I can't decide like no do you not think we do that we could try

just wondering whether we do a hen event yeah I think we should I want to do like a bongos bingo vibe yeah where it's just fucking mental

and everyone just comes and it's wild and I don't want to do a stage show I just want to do it where we're all there and it's just strippers and shit. Yeah.

I mean, could that be managed? Could that be managed or would that be really just... It'd be very unsafe, but it would be a vibe. It would be quite unsafe, but I think... I'm not having a hen, so... Have you got wedding shit sorted? I'm going to my orchestra... Oh, my...

What? I've had a real... Actually, this morning, I've had something really quite bad happen to me. So, Phoebe... Oh, no. Phoebe, who was doing my makeup there, so she's a friend anyway,

she works with the brand that i'm getting my dress from so like it was perfect she was coming anyway she was going to do my makeup because she's an unreal mua yeah sorted she's a mua hair makeup done excuse me so all fine she dropped it to me this morning that it's bridal week so she can't do it no fuck you phoebe fuck you phoebe so we're on the hunt for an mua so i just i need makeup artists let's do a little chat about makeup they need to be from I'm a Yorker. I'm not flying anyone out. I'm not doing that.

The ones that we love. I love Amelia Hunt. I love Holly Flynn is like the best ever. Oh yeah, she's amazing. I love Amber. Alicia Heap. I love Alicia Heap. She does our makeup.

I love how she does my makeup. Oh my God. You look like you've got a filter on. She's amazing. So there's a shout out to some Manchester makeup people. That Caitlin Duff girl's meant to be really, really good. But this is not unhelpful for me right now. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Thank you, but no. i need someone in new york if anyone knows of anyone and i've seen some right like we were just saying about this before so sometimes we think that like muas that you think are going to be absolutely unreal because they've got this name actually we were talking about one before that i had um in london and it was i'm not even going to tell you how expensive it was and she looks like she's got millions of people yeah yeah and like does all the celebs so you think oh my god must be amazing yeah and then i had it done and i was like really oh yeah and i think i feel like it's like when lads walk into a hairdresser and they're like make me look like david beckham and you can

put david beckham's hair on you but you're still not david beckham she's not david beckham yeah that's probably how i thought i was going to come out looking like abby clancy on my pajama and you didn't because of me so that's her so so then what we do in that case is we blame the moor because it's not our faces oh no never it's it's you yeah it's your fault that i don't look like abby clancy so yeah um guys yeah new yorker like i need i want a good one though i don't know anyway your skin is just looking so good though because you're going for all these treatments and stuff so i had you know i told you i tell you last time i think about this green power thing that had when you've had the baby you have to come to skin address right she did it i i would say

it is one of the best i don't know what would you describe it though lauren it's because we've been using our current body devices last night i did all three in a row yeah but like this is honestly like i if someone we're lucky because we work with them so we do get sent the stuff to try i it's not that i get it we can't all buy every single one but instead of a handbag i'd be asking for three at home things i liked a um tony one yeah an rf so i last night no joke sat there and i enjoyed every second of it and i did all three of them i did the zip first to get the muscles do you not think that that makes a big difference yeah then the rf then i put my light on yeah it's great and it's really and it has made a difference and i've been i have

do you know my skin at the minute is good i went and it's got to be the machines because at the minute my i'm between products yeah because i'm about to start a new try this new line that's meant to be amazing so i haven't really been putting much at all on my skin you're not pre-peri yeah so it's the basics of the peri that's all I've been using

so it's got to be something like it's got to be the machines as well and the peeling this is like when people say to me like how

what is it and I'm like it could be the 10 million things somebody messaged me the other day like your skin's amazing give us a secret

and I was like how long have you got because it's not just I'm doing the most you have to put the work in and I know you used to take the piss out of me but once you're on the hype

aren't you addicted I'll be honest I you kind of I was you were you're always ahead of me you were like a few maybe a year ahead of me i was still doing all the fillers and you were like

you need to look after your skin and i still have like bits of spots and i had pigmentation and you were like i'm all for skin i'm off skin i remember just being like i just put me some cheek filler in and then i realized yeah and i was like looking at other people's skin and i was looking at what made their skin nicer than mine yeah and it was the glow it was the lack of pigmentation it was and I was like, yeah. Ooh. And I used to look at people's makeup,

yours included, and think, why doesn't my makeup look like theirs? Yeah. So I thought it was my makeup, my application. No. It was my skin.

Yeah. That's what it was. And you still don't eat vegetables. I love, no, I love tender stem broccoli. I like veg. You still live off vodka and fags.

But the limes. I went for a really good facial, by the way, Rachel Hunter in Liverpool micro-needling not had it for ages I love a micro-needle

yeah fucking good that thing I had was non-needle needling but I love that and she used skinceuticals love skinceuticals

I actually really like it stunning right you're gonna die the banning fags you're joking the banning fags oh well I'm gonna put on

ten stone fucking great banning them fully yeah so I'm gonna tell you the truth which is you know

it's what we do on here I stopped smoking for eight weeks I don't know if anyone knows and then I had a very very stressful time with some real dickheads that just

really testing me so I got back on the fags a little bit but not a lot and I'm going to be honest there's a small part of me that didn't mind getting back on the fags

because I put that much fucking weight on I'll be honest I put a lot of weight on and my I can't believe how much cigarettes number one

suppress your appetite number two ruin your taste buds nothing tastes good after a fag but they de-stress you as well they do we shouldn't be promoting

smoking guys no we're not but that's what happens I'm against vaping. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. I'm either smoking. Listen, I'm not an in-betweener. I'm either smoking or I'm not.

I'm not fucking vaping. I'm not 19. So. Oh, yeah, Lukey vapes. Lukey's a vaper. Like, don't bother. Either you're in for the kill with a full-on fag. Faggy, stinky fag.

Or don't bother. A Marlboro Red. Yeah. You're entirely sure we should be. No. I'm not sure you're doing this. Can we just take this out? We're not taking this out.

Anyway, you should. I stopped smoking. But I did put a lot of weight on. And since I've started again, you know, it does suppress your appetite. So if you are going to stop smoking, you need something else. It's really bad. A fidget spinner. Ed's fully stopped smoking.

Yeah, he stopped, hasn't he? And is he fat? He's not actually replaced it with, no, he's lost, like, bastard. Anyway, he's fully stopped. And then I was like, he was like, oh, are you going to, you know, like, hit the booze and the fags again? Yeah, back on the booze and the ciggies. And I was like, yeah. Yeah.

And it's over Christmas. Oh, absolutely. So it's totally acceptable. Absolutely. and he was like if you dare have a fag in this house

obviously I don't smoke in the house I go outside he's like you're not allowed to smoke you're going to have to go off the drive

oh it's all very stand down the road with your hood up and when you come back you put your clothes in the wash I was like that's absolutely fine

I will do that I'll go to the wine bar for my cigarette and leave you with the children it's like these non-drinkers don't drink around me I'm going to try not to

try not to you've done this long like why bother anyway they're being banned so we'll all have to stop anyway so i saw this quote and it said what three words we're going back in time lauren a long long long time ago what three words if you could say any three words to your 18 year old self

would you say don't shag him about everyone majority at that age now what about you stay away scouses men scouse men scouse men no no scouse men no okay yeah the other thing um no to scouses we love you scouse women um uh no to sunbeds i would say give less fucks give less fucks give less fucks and don't shag him they're my main ones because at 18 there's no one on that list that needs to be on there like that body count needs to get off same yeah there's no one so don't shag him and definitely give less fucks i think if i'd have given less fucks when i was 18 i would have had a much happier time i think one good one is it's all gonna be okay like in the end it'll be okay but that's not three you can't say that all okay and

you're not getting the game you're not getting you can't miss words scouse men no you can't it doesn't work like that like so we've got so far don't shag him

scouse men no and don't smoke cigarettes yeah don't smoke fags don't smoke fags that's not my advice don't smoke fags don't do drugs

don't shag him I think don't shag him is the best if I would like to know girls let us know what your

three would be while we're talking about shagging I just need to clear something up lauren and i are not doctors we have never ever claimed to be doctors we are not right some of the things we say some of the advice like that fucking chat about fags just then the advice that we give is horrendous okay and we we are we probably say like a lot of not fat check shit

so can i just go back and say um we were told off by a lot of people about the herpes chat so if you the chat we know it's good that we had the chat yeah but they said that you can give herpes when you've not got an outbreak supposedly so everyone that's been shagging with herpes I am so sorry for the outbreak but my friend told me that her doctor said

so research it yourself because I didn't just say that for the fucking crack I don't know my really good friend has it and she said that there's very little risk but we're just throwing it out there, no one sue us we're not doctors and also

another thing we said that pissed a lot of people off was it sounded like we were slagging off um skin boosters we were not slagging off polynucleotides or skin boosters i am fully qualified in both of them and i used to offer them as treatments but what we were saying is they just aren't for some people yeah and the and i was just repeating my lady did it under the eyes of somebody said it's well and didn't like it and my friend nearly died off them so there we go I've had loads of skin boosters and I haven't nearly died yeah but you got a bit puffy

do you know what you do need to check if you've got any fish allergies that's extremely important I'm allergic to prawns you need to check so my friend's allergic to shellfish

and a lot of facial she cannot have yeah same actually when I went to Rachel Hunter they were like do you have any allergies or not

and they were like you can't have hydrafacial yeah and shell ones are a really big one so just do your research guys and also basically the moral of this is

Don't listen to everything we say, but do. I got a voice note. This is the last thing of our update because, yeah. Hi, I'm literally listening to the latest episode and I'm like two minutes in or whatever. And I always find myself talking back, but then at the end of the episode, I would forget to message. So I'm just going to message now.

Basically, I have no labia. my fanny is um like neat as fuck right but basically my partner and i were very open when it comes to our sex life and we um men like it men like it like so i've not got it but i want it but people who have it wish that they didn't like men go mad for it like i've participated in like swinging and stuff like that. Men go fucking wild. They love to suck on it. Right, guys.

So there's a lady with no labia saying that men want the labia. They want the dingle-dangle-dongle. I would be interested to know what people think about that. Men fucking love it. Men fucking love it. Do they like it?

Do they not like it? Does it get in the way? Or do they enjoy it? You always want what you can't have. You always want what you can't have. I'm interested in this. Do men like a labia coming out? I know.

Let's see. Love that. Right, let's have a little break. And we will be back after the break with Bargain Bucket and Slutty Sue. Oh, my faves. Bargain Betty and Slutty Sue. Oh, I love them.

Who are you? Bargain Betty and Slutty Sue. No, I'm Bargain Betty and you're Slutty Sue. Oh, I'm Slutty Sue. Yeah, okay. Not anymore. Anyway, bye. Bye, back in a minute, back in a minute.

now you're back with bargain bet and slutty so are you a loyal listener of nip tuck do you set an alarm on a wednesday and a friday ready for our new episodes are you our virtual besties yes do you love us or do you love to hate us yeah because i know there's a few people listening You're not keen on me. I see you. Anyway, spread the word. Spread the podcast. We absolutely live for it when you get in touch.

We love it when you screenshot where you're listening. Yes, I love that. Share that. Tag us. We see it all, girls. And thank you so much. And guys. And guys, yeah.

Right, guys. Bargain. Bargain. Bargain. Bargain. Bargain. Right, guys. So, I'm going to have to pull my phone out.

Oh, not allowed phones. Lucas, she's on a phone. Right. Guys, so we've got bargain bucket for you. And I bet you've been thinking, what the fuck do I get my boyfriend or everyone? We're going to... No, there's a chat to be had first.

Oh. At what point do you buy a man a gift? That is... There's nothing worse, right? You meet someone in about September. Yeah. worth or just before the birthday i bet you that mine and lauren's opinions on this will be totally different right so i find the whole thing extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing i can't

open presents in front of people i find the whole thing extremely embarrassing and what i would personally do in this occasion is say um let's go somewhere for the weekend yeah i i am not buying a present i am yeah but i wouldn't be paying for it and you know what else i'd do because this is wear wear different and i'm pick me you'd pay no i would if i was buying them a gift because i wouldn't want to look like a little i would over and above spend on the gift oh you'd get them the basic i would get them a fucking design or something i wouldn't i'd wear a pair a crotchless thong that was five quid off aliexpress yeah i would buy them something really expensive that i couldn't afford because i wouldn't want to look no men and that's men will literally vomit if you

buy them a gift and they don't want to be serious with you and especially if you've done what lauren's just said and over panicked and overspent if you're not sure and you think oh god do i buy him something for his birthday or christmas don't do it because honestly they will be sick into a bag on the way home and then you've given them the gift as well that man is gonna run so fucking far away from you if you start buying him presents meanwhile i'm on selfridges over in the most expensive thing for your uh 18 year old self never go halves what like um ever for anything never no but what if what if can i just say if i was a man and the woman offered i wouldn't take it but if they offered i'd be impressed i've always offered i'm

never offering never not once but what if you're not going to understand this one but what if you want to go somewhere and he can't afford it but you can afford it half each get a new man i've manifested a life for myself and i am not compromising on any of that and if you were willing to settle girls for paying half totally up to you but it's not for me that's fine that's absolutely fine i um no you only allow you only allow and if you don't set all of my friends say the biggest mistake they made with certain men who are not like super wealthy but they can afford things yeah is starting to go halves because the man will always let you go halves then for the rest of your relationship whereas if you hadn't gone hard you could have been saving that for the

runaway fun for when they cheated on you i've got friends who literally the my friends that are treated the most princessy are the ones with your joiner builder partner who don't let them move like they're like princess because they've got princess energy okay but if you want to have big ball energy and tell him what i can i can't do then you can pay off so it has to go one way or the other i don't know it's weird i think when you get married though the money's your joint money so there's going halves and no it's not i still hide all of mine and then his is ours we have our own i squirrel mine away listen we've all got our own little we're all got a runaway fund we'll get his cheated on me fund like don't get me wrong but i think like if me and james

went for a meal right or we went on holiday and it cost five grand i if he paid for it all i'd still think well it's all our money in the end anyway so what's the i'm not asked who pays because it's ours anyway yeah me i'm totally delulu yeah you're delulu you're not in the real world listen to me no one listened to ashley everybody listened to me right so okay so anyway apart from herpes advice because clearly i get that wrong so christmas gifts from us we've just if you're not sure about buying a gift for a guy don't do it basically and like lauren said like i have put trips in here because i'll tell you my theory behind this right let's go so christmas gifts for men right how much do you spend how much don't ask me because i i clearly don't know

give me a example of a girl earning so much has been with someone for so long and i'll tell you just give me an example okay okay i've been seeing him for six months he's met the family but we don't live together I have an average wage I don't even know what the average wage is I do alright 200 quid

what do you think yeah I think that no more than 200 quid yeah okay but a trip you ain't getting no trips for 200 quid

no but this is this is the key you book a concert somewhere random and pay for the tickets

and he then has to pay for the accommodation and the flight do you like that on yeah babes i've booked us to see such and such in paris to see beyonce in paris and then he goes brilliant and then you just look at him and give him the tickets and that's it you hope he works it out okay okay i like that right okay so ideas right so this what i've started off with

is you've been with him for a long time yeah so this is your fella so this is your husband yeah exactly so always buy an appliance that you can both use okay yeah don't you think that's such a good idea like a ninja a ninja a nutribullet a coffee machine a coffee machine a coffee machine's a really good one james wants a coffee machine have you seen the smeg one i need a small one the nespresso yeah is it good mate men get hard on yeah he wants a new coffee machine i've got ed for his birthday coffee pods as well like they're so weird they just love it they love it every morning he goes to costa just for a coffee like i will have the cheap instant stuff i'm not um and have you seen the ysl coffee cups that they do the black one yeah love that 90 pounds i don't

think that's bad i don't think that's bad and i feel like it comes in see i'm so funny because it comes in a gorgeous box it's a gift done boxed off one minute I'm like absolutely not that's ridiculous you're not in the real world

and then I'll say 90 quid's okay for a coffee cup but I just think it is that is obscene I don't think that's that bad it's a novelty and it's gorgeous

and it's expensive and you can keep it it's black and it's manly that's why I've got Ed coffee pods and that fit I think that's brilliant as part of one of his

I mean James can't turn up on site with that he'd look like an absolute pillock but or a nice just a nice one yeah I agree I might do that

yeah they'll sell out so get them now other good really good gift is the Hermes have done luggage air tags oh yeah and I think they're 350 pounds but it's it comes in a box it's sorted the way I think of Christmas presents when you're with your partner is it's something that you wouldn't buy yourself yes so no one's spending 350 on that no one's gonna spend 90 quid apart from me and you on our own so you buy them something that's a novelty you know yes you look at every day and you're like i love that it is

expensive yeah it is probably a bit silly but that's the point you just buy one of them and that's it so yeah appliances are always a good one because you can use them as well another one that i've got on ed's christmas list is the current body infrared sauna which one's that it's a sauna blanket i've not seen that they get a hard on over there yeah i'm gonna go I'll share it on my Instagram. An infrared sauna blanket. I love that. And it's for like recovery, weight loss.

Oh, because they think that they've been to the gym as well. So they're like, oh, my muscles are sore. I need to sweat it out. And the lazy fat pigs can just lie there and sweat. AirPods, AirTags, Louis Vuitton stationery, wallets. If he works in a wallet, a lovely wallet. I've got James and Louis Vuitton wallet and it's fantastic. Tie.

Ties, yeah, if he's not even in an office. Designer key ring. I love a designer key ring. So there's a Prada one and it's just black. square like that and they're about 150 quid something maybe 200

it's just black like that leather and it says Prada on it they'll use it every day and do you know why I like it as well

because it keeps the shit organised yeah exactly I think that's a lovely present designer luggage so Remoa luggage or like Louis Vuitton

if you travel a lot with work I like that any guy that I've ever Mulberry the mulberry bag I still love that the men's mulberry carryall

any guy that I've ever been out with for a long time if you're now going out with him and he has got designer luggage just know that I paid for that

um you did i know you did no bitch that i paid for that you did um okay so i actually do spend on my yeah she's just said that and then she's going around buying all sorts of um tickets for something that is a good one because then if you book like tickets for like a festival or a concert or something then he's gonna have to pay for the whole day yeah and you get a day out you get to go out and go to the concert something you wanted to go to anyway babe i booked as harry styles stickers right lower end so this is your you've just started or maybe even secret santa type vibe we're not on that low we're not on that low okay um right wireless wireless chargers men love wireless chargers you know like the pads ah okay okay i didn't know what you meant yeah yeah phone

cases because they're not gonna buy a phone case is a really good present phone case is such a designer one is lovely ugg slippers i got james slippers last year really good fantastic present because they don't feel like demasculated or whatever yeah and they're nice they're nice and they wear them all the time james always wears his um and they're always on sale around now books like rich dad poor dad yeah okay it's like not self-help books but it does make them like a book that's something that they need to work on anyway yeah because if they improve their selves then you're gonna get that as well yeah you'll get the handbags um lululemon gym wear for men is always had the funniest as soon as you said lululemon for men i've just imagined ed

don't know why in the leggings in the dupe i've just imagined and i was like he loves the stretchy golf pants and the t-shirts and the long sleeve shirts is it giving you the ick stretchy golf pants. I didn't even know they did men. I just think Lululemon for men just doesn't sound right. I agree. No, but it's stunning, the men's stuff. It's absolutely gorgeous. I agree. It's Nike for me. The on-cloud trainers

are a very good buy for a man and they're not too expensive. A pair of good gym trainers that are expensive. On-cloud ones. Yeah, I like that. That's a good shout. I think with men trainers, you can't go wrong. No, but I feel like the on-cloud ones are good because you never know if a man is like an Adidas or a Nike model. No one's an Adidas.

And I feel like the on-cloud ones are just really good. The socks, alcohol, toiletries. Boxers. Yeah. I still think a good pair, a couple of Calvin Klein's. They go on sale on ASOS all the time. I have just done a collab with a brand called The Hut. And they've got Calvin Klein boxes on there, men's lug slippers.

Really? Ralph Lauren shirts, like everything. Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren pyjamas. Nice t-shirt and trouser. They have all the stuff on there. Amazing. We need the info for that. Do you know what gives me an absolute boner for Christmas?

And I'm sure it's the same for most men. It's tech stuff. So like a new one of those stands for like phones and their Apple Watch. That's what I said. A wireless charger. Or like the travel. Have you seen those little travel ones where they're like flat pack and you... Well, no.

So things that are techie that you might like, but you don't want to spend that money on. A new strap for their Apple Watch. Oh, a new strap on. Yeah. I've got the phone case and it's the one with the circle on the back. Have you seen the MagSafe? MagSafe, yeah.

So it stops people from hacking into your phone or something. And then you get the charger, like Lucas just said, on the back and you can just... Oh! Very expensive. Airpods type things. Airpod cases.

A nice Airpod case. So there you go. That'll get you going, girls. Yeah, that's really helpful, actually, because I think that's a fucking difficult question. Yeah, yeah. I've asked that on, because I've been putting some ideas on my Insta

of things and people ask me for men and I've not done it because, I don't know. Right, I hope that really helped you. And then we're going to round things up with an SS, a slurdy Sue. Right, this is long, guys, okay? Are you ready? Hi, girlies and Lucas.

I want to start this message out by saying how much I adore you three as a trio. you have me barely laughing every episode and I love it when Lucas gets involved in the stories I was crying with laughter in the car the other day what about you gay boy I can't believe that got left people know that I am not

it's all said with love it's all said with love and do you know what I always say the more I rip somebody the more I like them if I'm rude to you I really like you and if I'm polite then I'm not sure so just know that I love that you all rip the piss out of each other

and I know it's not that deep and you can take it on the chain. It is not that deep. My only complaint is that I wish there was a new Ep Daily. Oh. I mean, if you want, I could do it, but I'm going to need more no for that. I thought I would write in with my slutty Sue story

because I know there seems to be a drought of slut stories at the minute. Yeah. Yeah. Like, what are you all doing? I think people... They're not shagging as much. So I'm here to fill the void.

Because we did a video, sorry to interject, we did a video about where you said, I have one that sounds, and not the TikTok comments are like, do people still have one? and I feel like the younger generation now aren't shaggers

it's a shame I have two children now well Lucas is everyone's on OnlyFans now what are you on about it's all all virtual now people aren't getting together

and making love porn blackens your brain yeah anyway I have two children now and I've been in a 12 year relationship so we only have sex now

with me laying on my back in the dark once the TV's gone off squashed fly one of my favourites only joking but defo not as wild as we once were

we now have two cock blocks living with us tell Lucas that he may want to cross his legs as this could trigger warning for anyone with testicles

that's you that's you Ashley one day about seven years ago my partner was in extreme pain with his bollock area I rushed him off to the nearest minor injury

it's a bit scary isn't it yeah who upon explaining the region of the pain the lady on reception wide eyed asked me his age and when I replied 25

she told me to get into hospital right now I knew at that point it was really serious he was taken in almost immediately upon walking to A&E,

even though the waiting room was jam-packed with people waiting to be seen. They pumped him full of morphine and started gowning him up for surgery. They explained he had something called a testicular torsion. Torsion? Torsion. I don't know.

And basically, the tubes that flow inside the balls, one had curled up like a wine bottle corkscrew into a spring and had cut the... Circulation. Yeah, off to his poor little ball. They rushed him down for surgery and told me that if we'd waited any longer, they would have to remove one

as it would have died from lack of blood supply. Oh, my God. It gives me pleasure to say we woke up from surgery, and his surgery was intact. Sorry. It gives me pleasure to say my boyfriend woke up from surgery with two balls still intact. The next day, I went to the hospital to see him.

He said that he had wanted to shower, but would need help getting dressed, et cetera. So we walked off down to the wet room, which was located next to the reception desk. We ended up having sex in the hospital shower. That's so naughty. Having just had his bollocks stitched back together. are you guys it's safe to say they both still work we've got two gorgeous kids since then and

as we left the bathroom i was greeted by about four women all in hospital gear giving me the eye as if to be like we know what you've just done you little whore we hope this story gives you a giggle and lucas isn't too squeamish ha ha ha love you girls listen if it's got to be done it's got to be done if you need to shag yeah like there's a lot of guys with just one ball for numerous reasons can you see the difference i'm asking you because you've got balls um i've funny enough never seen a one sack pack but um i've heard a lot of stories and i've heard stories of men with one really big one yeah i mean can you see it like i'm sure you can i think sometimes like an empty sack well i i don't know i've never seen but i think you can get like fake ones but i might

Yeah, you can, they're like marbles. Could you be arsed? Have you ever... Yeah, because men are so obsessed with their cocks. You know how we're obsessed with our faces? Men are like that about their dick. Really? Think about how insecure some people are about dingle dangles and that.

Men are going to be the same. But I've never looked at a man's balls and thought anything. Never. That's what they'd say about our fannies. True, true. I've just never... Like, balls are balls. I like them when they slap.

Fannies are fannies. Yeah, true. I just never never really thought much of a ball anyway if you've got any it's not like

I don't know if you've got any stories on Nip Tuck we want you to get your voice heard so you can email us hello at niptuckpod.com

you're looking very pregnant darling I am you can also get in touch via whatsapp so voice notes stories slutty suits

hacks everything send them our way voice notes we've not had for a while are you going into labour maybe there's something

going on do you know what I keep laughing at that um obviously we would not want this to happen but obviously she's got this beautiful section booked and it's all imagine she goes into labor early in the bathroom and ends up down at withy hospital two people who are due the same one was the week before one is the week of have had their babies imagine her right she's got this beautiful birth plan she's at withy hospital in the car park pushing and pooing no what you're gonna do if it's coming it's coming what you can't

stop it what will you know genuinely i'm not trying to scare you but tell me genuinely what the fuck happens when you've got a planned section sorry i know we digress but and the you're going to labor i don't fucking know uber chopper yeah what do you you're not going to london no you can't so you would be having a section what happened what the fuck and if you're too far what if the baby flies down the canal if it's if you're over five centimeters you can't we've got a kitchen unit outside the office yeah i'm good with a knife and fork oh piss off Anyway, get in touch. We're back on Friday for the bonus episode,

which is all about you, your dilemmas, your beauty bits and bobs. But anything that you want to know before that, send us a message and we will try and get to you. And we love you very much. Love you guys. Bye, guys. Bye.