Nip Tuck - Two Lauren's Don't Make A Right

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

This week, Lauren is joined by influencer Lauren Causer for a brutally honest conversation about life after heartbreak.After years of betrayal, cancelled wedding plans and raising two young boys through repeated infidelity, Lauren shares the moment she finally walked away and how she rebuilt her life from the ground up.The girls chat single motherhood, co-parenting, dating again, blending families, protecting yourself financially, and why leaving isn't the end... it's often the beginning.If you've ever questioned your relationship, survived heartbreak, or needed reminding of your own strength, this episode is for you.Head over to our socials @niptuckpod and click the link in our bio to find our YouTube, where full video episodes will be released every Wednesday at 5pm. If you're a Patreon member, not only will you get the Wednesday main episode the day before at 5pm, you'll now be able to watch the Friday Bonus too!Get in touch with your questions, dilemmas and Slutty Sue's via our Whatsapp or email [e-mail] sure to subscribe, follow, rate and review!

So we've just found out that Nip Talk has been shortlisted at the British Podcast Awards for the Listener's Choice Award. And it's all because of you guys. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This has never happened before. So to get this far already, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. But there's a chance we could win it. We've got a little bit more to ask you though. If we've ever made you laugh, if we've ever cheered you up, entertained you, helped you during a run, a breakup helped you with some glow up tips please do us a favor back go on to spotify and use your votes to vote for nip talk we would absolutely love you guys to do that share this with all of your friends and again thank you if you've already voted

hi guys and welcome to nip talk it's just me again well it's not just me actually but ashley's still not here i was with her yesterday she's doing really really well but yeah it's just me so please bear with me but i've got a guest on for you before i tell you who the guest is let me just give you the usual what's it called spiel spiel shite right you know that you can get us every wednesday you can listen to the podcast and then we have a bonus episode as well if you want to listen to the bonus if you are that into it then you need to either be on patreon where you'll also get group chat discounts giveaways all sorts on there or apple subs if you just want to listen you can get us there on a friday they are also video episodes and you can watch us on youtube

for the main as well have i done that good lucas perfect if you want to get in touch with us you can email us hello at nip tuck pod.com we've got a website pending which will make it a lot easier but for now you can also whatsapp you can dm if you go on our link tree on our instagram pop on then it'll tell you all the ways you can contact us because we do need you without you we are we're nothing what's going on because i feel like the hs2 line is moving quicker than our website what's going on well it's because i'm in charge of it in it um so i've actually just had a message about this so the website is nearly done it's not as do you know what they're not as easy as you think no they're really not they're really not and then we had to get like color palettes and

graphics and then we're trying to tie it into patreon and what we're trying to do because we are going to do an event we are and i'm on with that as well by the way we are um in october i'm sorting that at the minute we're trying to do something where you can put your email address in if you can if you're interested in the event tickets so that if you are interested you find out before they sell out so i'm just faffing that's not as simple as you'd think either but it will be done i'm gonna say by the end of the week so by the time you listen to this if it's not done then i'm sacked and so is the website guy so there we are anyway i've got a guest on for you so i have got lauren causer on what's your insta is it at lauren causer la causer la causer

let me give you a little bit of a background as why i wanted lauren on so for me when we have guests on yeah we want the guests to have a story and to be interesting which she does but i also i want a nip tuck girl i want someone who is like us so that when you're listening all of a sudden you're not listening to some random that just does not fit the bill and she's a nip tuck girl i am She's written in. She's in it. Oh, I have. Oh, she has.

And she's got a story. I have. So, Lauren on Instagram, I followed you, I don't know how old, ages actually. I followed you for years. What a psycho. Yeah, I have. I followed you. I think I met one of your friends in Ibiza years and years and years ago.

Is it a girl or a boy? Girl. Danielle. Oh! Fit brother. Sexy brother. Yeah! Yeah.

So, I met her in Ibiza years ago and obviously followed her. And then I must have seen you on her Instagram. she can have a follow as well yeah and i must have just liked the look of you well i don't blame you so yeah i followed lauren for ages um and i love her because she's really down to earth really honest but what if i'm honest the main thing that i wanted to get her on for is i wanted to talk to her about parenting single parenting co-parenting breakup finding love because i do think everything everything basically everything that shit uh because basically i do think that we have a lot of listeners that i mean i can't remember what the stats are but it's something like one in

three or something end up single with kids and i know loads of our listeners are and i get asked a lot about co-parenting advice how i've managed i get messages still of people saying my fellas just left me i'm stuck with a kid with two kids what the fuck do i do and i just thought your story is really good and i know you'll be honest about it and i think it'll really help people so we're going to talk about a bit of everything a bit of everything is that all right with you absolutely fine right what i've said to her is because we've got to be mindful here gotta be mindful i don't i don't want to get her in the shit whenever we have guests in i want the tea but at the same time don't want to ruin your life and make it harder than it already is so

we'll just see what we feel like talking about yeah yeah right i want to start from the very beginning how did you get an insta following because your best friend is charlotte crosby yes right so that is basically how i haven't that's how it happens so cheers charlotte yeah yeah thanks thanks so much so you've done a bit i've seen you because i love i love her i've watched all the programs i know jake anyway from back in the day man just think everyone does um and i've watched your programs i just think she's made so i've seen you already when you featured on there but one of the questions you got asked was a little bit of a backstory about how did you how was it or you may all of a sudden becoming like well famous didn't really make any

difference no like she's she's really she's absolutely amazing she's been my best friend for god we've all been friends for like 25 years um and to all of us like she's never changed no like nothing's changed she's exactly the same yeah like it's just her career's kind of gone yeah she smashes it doesn't she yeah she seems lovely is she lovely yeah yeah you can just tell can't you well yeah that's a good point that's a fair point so you've been on her tv show haven't you yes how did you find that um i don't really watch it back best way to be um because i just i think you've become very like self-critical and yeah sometimes i listen to my voice back and i'm like oh god like is that what i sound like yeah i don't listen to the pod back as i do more now but

because i just think i said it i did it i can't take it away now like something i listen to a voice note back and i'm like oh i need to put it on two times like you listen to your own voice notes back yeah all the time yeah do you not watch your own instagram stories no you don't Every time I record a voice note, the first thing I do is listen back. Are you joking? I'm sorry. Just to make sure I covered everything. Sometimes three times.

Just to make sure I covered everything. Yeah. So that is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Why? Maybe we're a little bit narcissistic. Yeah, well, I think that's a bit self-obsessed. That's a bit you too. You've just said it.

Why do you need to listen back? Does anyone else do that, guys? I think that's so funny. That must be a common thing. Have you got time? Who's got time? You've said it once and then listening to yourself and then listening to that. Wow, this is a long conversation here.

And do you watch your Insta stories back? Yeah, numerous times. Do you? Yeah. Before you upload them? No, no, no, like when I've uploaded them. That is narcissistic. I think it's habit.

You just have a little look at yourself? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say what I said, I post it, and I never... Never look again. No, and if James is watching it in the background, I go, oh... Yeah, I can't bear anyone else watching. My mum watches mine in front of me. And I'm like, oh, turn it off.

Turn it off. But I could watch it on my own. So when you're on telly, you've just literally just thought, do you know what yeah I mean I did watch some yeah but I haven't

I didn't watch any of the the new series no were you on that I don't know if I've watched the new one so the new yeah so obviously like we were filming

not long after I split up with my ex so obviously it was mentioned like the odd time and I just I couldn't face was it too much at the time watching it back

so we need to talk about this so you've got 180,000 followers I wish are you not 164 Jesus oh come on

maybe after this I'll have 180 he said about 180 he's a lot more than me I mean close I think it's pretty good that and they're quite engaged

aren't they they want to know what you they want to know sometimes yeah they want to know what you're doing yeah

and I think I find that with mine I think because you're a bit like me where you're really quite open aren't you yeah you say it how it is

people start to kind of feel like they know your life so something that we're going to clear up now we're going to hear the story we're going to hear the story so you tell us

You had a partner. How long were you together for? Nine years. Ooh, nine long years. Nine. Nine years. Two children? Two kids.

I've got two boys. How old are they now? Oaks is five. Right. And Ovi is two. Ovi, they're not so cute. I mean, they're both adorable. But baby ones are a lot more.

The little shorter ones are cuter, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The baby baby ones. Toddling about. Toddling ones. What was the first one's name? Oaks. Oh, I like that.

O-A-X. You like names like that, don't you? Slightly unusual. like an auxiliary cable oh yeah oh god you're so weird oh and ovi i think ovi's dead cute as well it's just like a really cute name so you had the boys yeah and then you split up yeah yeah yeah yeah we did but first of all you doc like your insta was like say i followed you it was very family yeah it was featured yeah yeah yeah it was heavily heavily yeah heavily featured there he was family family and then all of a sudden see you later gone gone so i want to know as much as

you're happy to tell us what how long have you been split now it was a year two days ago i feel like this is a sign it was a year um since i never looked back but i did have to live with him until three weeks ago that's so weird we need to talk about this right so from the beginning how old were the kids when you split up then so we're like one and one and four so just turned yeah yeah yeah yeah and one was baby baby so Tommy's age yeah oh so what happened then go on there was just a lot of cheating a lot of cheating yeah so how you were together for nine years did you know about truthfully did you have an inkling of the cheating over the years yes and what did you know or did you suspect so in the beginning obviously there was a series of

events and i was suspicious and then it came out basically i'd be a very very good guest on the affair podcast really i like that yeah um so so that was it so it was confirmed yes yes yeah yeah and how how long if we work out in the kids ages how old are the kids then orcs were six months old oh do you know what these men they love to cheat when you've just had a baby that's what happened to me they love it i know i'm ashamed i'm ashamed to be a man yeah alex lucas chop your penises off so six months old fucking hell so so you found out when he was six months old no no so it started when he was six months old i found out when he was maybe like nine or ten months old how what what do you do what what the world just came crumbling down around

us didn't it did you have any idea before that he was a bit of a one of them I kind of I feel like I did and I didn't I honestly never ever believed that he would do that to us even though the signs were there and like if you talk to all my friends they're all like it was so obvious like it was so obvious but I honestly didn't think that it would happen and was he like a good at home like were were you happy no i'd cancelled my wedding she's hang on hang on a minute right so you had a wedding booked so we were meant to get married in 2020 and i feel like probably over the years i've told myself so many lies that i actually started believing so like i tell everyone that the the wedding was cancelled because of covid which we did have to change it because of covid but i

actually just cancelled it because i didn't want to marry him right but then i got pregnant so you fall pregnant you're not really sure if you want to marry him but you think what what was it like we've been together for this long i'm pregnant let's just give it a go kind of thing yeah let's try it out maybe this is what the universe had in store for me you know what a lot of people that i will always say we've just obviously tommy's one a baby does not absolutely if anything no no it shakes even the strongest of couples doesn't it no it's not easy like it's not and you're pregnant as well so you feel like shit yeah you don't feel yourself so so he's nine months old found out yes there's been an affair yeah did you leave we split up right for a few months

um but then obviously it was biggest mistake of his life and i believed it yeah well i think did you say that you split up on social media or not you did yeah yeah yeah but split up because obviously we're having a hard time because you know i just didn't know why do you think having a baby why do you think as women we never out them we never want to out them i don't know because i've had this conversation with myself so many times in my head and i'm sure that from posts and stuff that i've put on social media recently i probably allude to it yeah you know like i allude to it but i've never actually said it and there is always the worry of the reaction yeah but then it's not my problem why do we do that reaction don't do it why do we

i know when i split with fear's dad i never outed him yeah i never said later on years down the line like that you know i've i've kind of spoken about it a bit but at that time for some reason i wanted to protect him i never i never said what had happened but the thing is like people people already know you know what i mean like everyone from where i live and stuff like knows yeah they probably know more than i do well they've probably shagged him dr freud uh dr freud's corner over here yeah obviously this should not be the case but surely deep down is it a bit of embarrassment that people don't share it you should it shouldn't be no because you are the victim but i think for me i was more yeah i felt a bit of a bit silly really that i'd been

like showing this amazing man and this look at my husband and dad and and then at the same time he wasn't yeah so perhaps it is do you think that do you think there's a bit of embarrassment or do you think you're protecting them i think protecting yeah because i'm definitely not embarrassed yeah so like i could not like i know i've obviously things that have happened since that we'll discuss but I know that it's nothing to do with me yeah good like it's good nothing to do with me did you ever think at one point it was you because the other thing is obviously you were quite early postpartum which I was and I remember being like it's because I'm bigger it's because I'm boring it's because I can't go out anymore I can't drink did you ever do that or did you know

like now this isn't me no I think I always knew it wasn't a me problem good that's really good yeah because a lot of women i think blame themselves yeah i've never blamed myself good and i never will i like this anyone listening like that's the right that's the right attitude i just i think it's them and discipline and yeah i can have some so you didn't you kind of alluded to it but you didn't tell everyone you split up for six months yeah yeah and then it was the worst thing he's ever done yeah want my family back yeah want to be a good dad realize now that this is blah blah yeah exactly that blah blah blah and do you think you believed it or do you think you just thought well i think i wanted to believe it so i remember i think listening to one of your

episodes when you talked about thea's dad yeah and he said the all that you wanted when you split up was him to want to get back that was all i want because my confidence was and i think like obviously i've you know had a few therapy sessions yeah yeah um like that's a very normal thing after that happens like really like to be desperate yeah because they've done that yes so you want it's like the validation back yeah i think it's a little bit of your confidence has been not you've been rejected i when i've had therapy which i haven't for ages because i don't know if it worked for me um but a lot of it was around rejection yeah you've been rejected you weren't good enough something had happened that you've been rejected and then all you want is for them and that feeling

is so painful when they leave or when they have an affair or whatever, that all you want is that pain to go away. Yeah. And if they want you back again, it takes an edge of that pain off. So do you think you knew that it wasn't going to change

or do you think you fully had your blinkers on? A bit of both. Yeah. A bit of both. Because I do think that I always expected it to happen again, but I didn't want it to happen again. um and but I also think I was really really lying to myself I was and then because I'd done it

because I'd made that decision and obviously friends and family had a lot to say about it but because I'd made that decision like I was going to die on that yeah and I did I died on the hill I'm still I'm dead I'm now tumbling down it so you got back together did it get better for a bit yeah yeah and we're happy ish for a while ish yeah um and then i think the biggest mistake that i made which i kick myself for every single day is buying a bigger house then we've just been speaking about this off camera haven't we so you you got back with him things were okay and then you both together went and bought a bigger house yeah yeah yeah more expensive bigger more expensive and i think that i was doing that to try and prove to myself that we're going to stay together yeah

but if he's willing to do this he's made we're gonna get this bigger house be paying this huge mortgage then he obviously wants to be with us yeah he wants to stay with us because it wouldn't make sense so that why why because why would you buy a bigger house if you don't if you're not going to stay together if you think that you might cheat on this person again why are you doing that yeah but because they don't have any remorse and because they don't think like that no that's how it works you got the bigger house you got the bigger mortgage yeah and that is that's i don't regret ever well I feel like I can't say that I regret getting back with him because then I wouldn't have Ovi yes so we'll back that thought away when it comes in um but I do regret that

so we as I say we've been talking about this off camera obviously we're not going to go into mega detail because it's like personal finances and stuff but what would your advice be if someone is thinking of buying a house with a man I would honestly I wish someone had told me to kind of like to protect yourself yeah like financially um because i put a bit of extra money towards the house for like because it was a new build so extras and stuff god it adds up that very expensive and then i have walked away a lot worse off i've seen this happen so many times not just to women to male friends of mine as well like i've seen it loads where you've they've put deposits in because the thing is when you buy a house right you you don't buy a house thinking you're gonna split up

because you won't be buying it otherwise um and i think one of the things is protect yourself so like you've just said so there are things you can do where you get a letter written up by a solicitor that says legal letter she put this in and if anything happens you get that back yep so if it's gone up in value and you're 50 50 it but you put the extra 15 10 20 whatever so you will get that on top that that is yours yeah and i think anyone listening now even if you're in a really happy marriage even if you think this isn't going to end because the thing is you can't you can know yourself you're not going to cheat you can know yourself you'll be together forever but you can't change someone else's actions and you can't see how they're going to play out so protect yourself

girls always have that piece of paper even if it's an uncomfortable conversation but it shouldn't be it should no it shouldn't be it shouldn't be because it should be a case of listen god knows what might happen yeah let's protect ourselves as well because they might have put more in so that so you've been fucked over a bit with that can i ask um you could please tell me to go f myself why go f yourself why did you get why was it worse off because so a friend of mine uh was in a homosexual relationship and they bought a house and my friend put in considerably more and he basically got his mate who was an accountant to draft it up because the guy was like well we're splitting it halfway he was like because of this growth in the market and this is how much i put

in and that works out this percent yeah he's gonna approve of what you put in and stuff like that yeah yeah so i did speak to a solicitor and they basically she was like it's probably gonna cause ag ag and it's gonna delay your house sale which i didn't want to delay we need to talk about that because the fuckers were still living together yeah we need to they've been living we need to talk about that right so made a bit of a mistake there buying the bigger house but i do get it i do get it you thought we're going full force here yeah this is a new family and this is the house and it's going to be all right and it still wasn't though was it well no no obviously bought the big house got pregnant that was a good idea great got cheated on six months pregnant again when you were

six months pregnant yeah right again we me and ashley have spoken about this when it come not all the time do not get me wrong not all the time like i'm hoping james didn't cheat on me but around pregnancy and babies they go fucking something happens maybe maybe it's not that it's an excuse but they just a lot of them go weird don't they it's unbelievable how many people get cheated on when they're pregnant not everyone girls don't panic so how did you find out about this one then love apple watch technology again boom apple you love a bit of tech don't you love Right, so did you find out while you were pregnant? Yeah.

Oh! It was awful. Right. Absolutely, and I remember that. I feel like this time, it wasn't as bad as the first time. Shit. But this time, I remember, like, obviously, I was absolutely devastated, and then I feel like I was so annoyed at myself for the bigger house,

like, why have I done all of this? Such a mix of emotions. but then I remember feeling like well I'm pregnant what am I gonna do what what am I supposed to do and obviously Oaks was premature he was like nearly seven weeks early so we did like a two-week stint in neonatal so my second pregnancy was high risk right and the stress like there's a there's a good chance that he was going to come early so I was quite anxious throughout my pregnancy as well so I was like oh I can't leave I can't leave yet and I remember like having a word with myself and being like next time next time next so i feel like i was always

waiting for the next time so when you confronted him about apple watch so what would it's where he was or was it he wasn't there well no there was just you know there was suspicious behavior that was similar to the previous time yeah so you looked into it and i just thought when you leave the house i'm gonna find your apple watch that's what i've done that before and i did and no you saw it i did that once i um was with a guy and i had a feeling about he always hid his phone found his fucking apple watch yeah emails are on apple watches um and i went on there and found that he was on a swinging website fab swingers that's nice isn't it what's that what's that um yeah found that on there so you confronted him by this point is he even arsed though because

surely they're not by this point he's thinking you've talked me about last time yeah six months pregnant you ain't going nowhere i think like i do i think they get cocky don't you maybe you thought that i would never actually why though do they cheat why not just not be together i know this is what i don't get i know do you think it's like an actual not with yours in particular but in general do you think it's like an actual like a mental health a hundred percent where it's not actually that they think someone's fitter better in bed more interesting it's not actually that it's almost like a need for attention and a need for more than the getting at home yeah even though you were giving you know do you think it's more that it is i do think it is i think it's more

look girls are very methodical you think about these things boys are done dumb so you know they're like i don't know i can't get it there at the moment she's pregnant yeah but i still shagged when i was pregnant yeah i gave it up i don't know i don't know if we're letting them off lightly with dum-dum i actually think if you were to a lot of the people that are serial cheese if you were to put them in front of a psychologist and go right back to the childhood in my experience there's an issue with attention and wanting to prove themselves and needing validation from somewhere a lot of the time i found that so she said right i'm six months what are you meant to do do you think you knew that as well like what you meant to do

i don't know i just i don't know did you tell anyone well yeah like charlotte straight away well she didn't actually answer jake did um so i was like hysterical down the phone jake brought us straight to mine she rang a locksmith got the locks changed oh and then you had to ring him up and say i know she's changing locks but there's a key for you because i'm gonna stay with you oh no we we did split up for a little bit yeah yeah yeah for a few weeks um but so yeah everyone no i'm a i'm very open like i tell everyone everything i do that and my mom will always say it was like oh should you be telling people like because what if you regret telling them and i'm like i never regret telling anyone anything i agree with

you there and this is something that nip tucks massive on and this has helped me over the years and i said to my friend actually the other day the second i realized that i am who i am yeah what happens happened i've done what i've done and i'll i'll always say i shouldn't have done that it was a mistake or when i said that i was a bit wrong if you're honest what what what can someone say about you yeah they said that's what happened that's what i did yeah i was probably wrong and i think that's once you start do you not think once you start behaving like that you give so much less fucks about other people's opinions i couldn't care less about anyone's opinion doesn't matter does it and i think that's really important once you hit that not giving a

fuck it it changes i didn't do that till i was like 30 though can i run a little theory past you no not if it's the same as men just being dumped i'm not having that one no so this is genuinely what i would have done in your situation so i think right you're pregnant your partner cheats on you i the first thing i would do is go straight to his mum's house and i would tell her because for example i know for a fact if i was the cheater if you went to my mum yeah you don't know my mum would go ballistic she would be in the car and she would be kicking my ass yeah but lucas if the mother doesn't do that that is a sign of upbringing yeah binum fair fair actually when it happened to me i really got on with these dads more like so be careful i would say there's no shade um but

there wasn't very much of the of that what you've just said there wasn't much if i'm going to kick your ass what the fuck have you done you absolutely wasn't which then makes you think it's a body mom thing sometimes i got a lot of that my like his mom is fucking mint absolutely mint and and she obviously didn't agree with it obviously not but he still did it but so yeah this is the thing though lucas your mom can bollock you but i'm gonna do what you're gonna do If you're cheating on your pregnant girlfriend, you don't have to follow what your mum says. No.

Do you know what I mean? I would. I'd be devastated. But that's because you're a respectful guy. You're respectful and you care about people. Yeah, but if you're a respectful guy, you're not cheating on your pregnant bird either. Exactly.

So it's like, you're never going to think the same way as that disrespectful person. So you told a few people, you split up again. Yeah, yeah. How did it get back in again? Or did you know you weren't going to leave him really?

I think I kind of knew deep down because i was pregnant yeah um did he was it in a fair or was it like not that it matters or was it just like a shag i'm unsure okay unsure that the logistics but there was something yeah um so you get that together and then you have a baby yeah did you how did you manage through that pregnancy then like obviously i've been there i've been cheating on loads how how did you manage the hormones the emotion of having a baby also having another baby and the devastation with a twitchy eye did your eye do that yeah mine did that twitches mine does that i feel like i'm very i'm very good at like keeping stuff in when it bothered but it comes out in a twitchy eye

well funny you've said that what did i say yesterday alex one of my eyes keeps doing this you're stressed and you try it's like i'm trying to keep doing this and i can't stop it and it goes like that yeah that's what mine does i get such a good time as well oh maybe james is having an affair no so but did you feel like um there's nothing worse than knowing your partner has done something intimate with someone else like it it's got sickness it's gut-wrenching did it feel easier the second time because you'd already done it once or not probably yeah because do you not think you think that they're yours and when you realize even just the one time that they've not been they've someone else has had the tool it almost takes away that specialness anyway because

they're not just yours now because someone's outside so everyone might have a girl by then you know just like but how did you keep it together like how i'd honestly i don't know i think probably for the kids yeah like i had a small toddler yeah like i didn't really have the option uh you couldn't get smashed or sit and cry do you know yeah well i couldn't i was heavily pregnant oh shit yeah yeah that is a fair point um so you just kept going yeah what was it like at home you just got on were you like just living in the same heart did you get ever get that love back well i think that we were kind of starting to right i don't know i don't know why i ever thought this because i i do think i always knew that it was going to happen again

um but we had started having like you know date nights and we were actually getting on probably better than we had for years so it was like the spark kind of thing was coming back and you were getting that again is this when you were still pregnant no no so after so after having ov um but then obviously it happened again so when he was when he was born like did it did it cross your mind so like you know when you have that moment where they pass you the baby it's all lovely were you thinking about yeah yeah but you don't like saying this out loud right because i don't i don't it's just an awful thought but i like distinctly remember pushing out my child yeah right clinging onto the midwife's hand thinking i can't look at

him that's awful yeah because that experience you giving birth is the most wonderful experience of of your like you don't get that back you do it once or twice three times in your life and no one understood like that yeah that moment of giving birth and that was taken off you as well yeah well I feel like I've been robbed of a lot of yeah like not the childhood because obviously they're still kids but no I get it I look back at things now and I look at the date and I think oh I was that happened then I don't look oh that's a really cute photo I'm like yeah that was happening then you look back and you look at the pictures and you think oh I remember that day um I wanted to kill myself or do you know I remember being absolutely dead on the inside on that day I'm

smiling on that picture or i remember going to play group and biting my lip to not cry it's true that isn't it yeah yeah and it is what really annoys me about men that do this and it's really sad for women to go through having your children is like i've just said one of just the most it's hard but one of the most amazing experiences and i felt a lot of that as well i thought you fucking robbed me yeah of of because thea was only like eight weeks or something but you've robbed me of my first ever child and that excitement of having this baby and the baby you fucking ruined it because i would i was up crying during the night feeds during the night feeds and crying because you fucking ruined that and you can't get that back can you and he's done

it twice bit random this but would you would you have more in the future no no no because i think having tommy fixed a bit of that in me but you've already got two aren't you yeah i've got two because i do think that when i had tommy it fixed a part of that i'd not got the trauma of having a baby because you then what you then do is you relate having a baby with trauma how unfair is that you feel guilty then don't you so you brought him home we're getting on yeah we're all right we think things are going all right and then he did it again didn't he love yeah what happened this time god he's a right serial one in it i know i know it's a bad one i mean these are just ones that i know of i can't have found out every time no you won't have done they'll be more found out

every time um but yeah this the then there was just the last one to be honest i didn't really get the details or ask for any details i just i found out and went to pilates had a stern stern word with myself and was like you are not doing this anymore you're not fucking doing it anymore and that was it was there a bit of you that thought no this time you that i was done i knew like i just knew that that that was it that was it yeah were you scared terrified what were you scared of i was scared of the whole like obviously doing it on your own even though you're never really doing it on your own um but doing it on my own like even just like the house situation like the selling of the house and like all of that like it feels a lot then like a little bit

of time went on and i just became numb to the like the whole house thing i know that it wasn't home anymore yeah like it was not home i didn't look at my house and think like oh my god i'm so this is such a gorgeous house i don't want to be out of it i just thought this it's the memories aren't home like i don't give a shit about it anymore do you think it made you start to think about what actually is important and what isn't yeah like a house is and i think what's important is having relationships where there's respect and you've got young kids there that are watching everything like it does it has to get to a point where you look after yourself yeah were you scared like you just said about just being a single mom because because i was only

single mom with one two's a lot no I don't really know what I was scared of because I was a single mom anyway yeah this is the thing when you actually look and listen James is incredible but we do more we do more yeah I think like it's just a natural actually we're not all men but you do do more yeah yeah generally do a lot more and not honestly like obviously I'm at a completely different point now in a completely different version of motherhood yeah and I'm having a great time like because I've actually got days to myself nights to myself like I don't have to ask if I can have a 10 minute shower without being disturbed yeah like you know what brilliant there is something to be said and I've said this before there's something to be said

for co-parenting actually right and I always think about this people give single mums a lot sympathy which on the emotional and mental side i agree with because you have to you've got no one to sound anything off with you you've got like it's a lot mentally you know you didn't want to be on your own with a baby you wouldn't have had one otherwise would you so there's all that but people give single parents like a lot of poor you actually when you're a single parent if you're co-parenting not everyone yes not everyone will be in the same you have more fucking time off yeah yeah then you know my mum's and i know that i've done both and i'm like what so he doesn't tommy doesn't go anywhere this weekend you are it's with me yes oh jesus you're stuck with

yeah it gets to that weekend i'm like right where's tommy going then on my weekend off there and i do think it's not as bad as you think it's gonna be because you get that one night in a week that weekend whatever where you can be you yeah but mums that are still married and together you don't really get that time you don't obviously i've met someone else now oh yeah we need to get on to that like he's got kids i've got kids and i think it is so so lovely that we get to be just us like you've got that time that's just use yeah you get this that was great i remember yeah i remember that once that was really good i do remember that right guys i've got loads more what i want to talk about after the break is a little bit more of advice single parenting

co-parenting and finding love afterwards okay so we're going to go into a break now and then we'll be right back hi i'm back lauren is still here we i think i need to speed this up because i feel like we'll just be sat chatting all day and we're not going to get anywhere lucas is probably thinking right lauren but i could just talk to you for ages right i'm going to fast forward a little bit now go on then you've split up you've told him he's out on his ear was he apologetic by the way or do you think he just thought oh this is i've pushed it too far this one now did be trying yeah so we still tried that i'll never do it again yeah god loves to try it but you'd had a word with yourself and you're like no this is it but then you had to live

together we did talk me through that well half my house half his house he didn't want to go to his mom's i didn't want to go to my mom's you had two kids you couldn't have gone it's just not a conversation that you can have i mean it's just such a straightforward thing you go to your mums you've cheated get out leave me with the kids but not everyone's like that which is why we go back to the fact that someone who does it in the first place you can't always yeah reason with how long did you live together what were you now nearly a year it was right it was two weeks shy of a year talk me through how that works do you talk in the house what i was like i got to a point i got to a point probably like after christmas and stuff that i

honestly i felt like an actress really because i just had to go in that house and i just put on an act did the kids know the kids never like aren't they really too young because that's one thing that's what i worried about yeah i was really really worried more so oaks about oaks and like his reaction uh the house going up for sale he didn't even know the house was up so he didn't notice the sign outside like he didn't know that we were moving out until two weeks before maybe a week before and he's just took everything like in his stride like i hope that nothing's bothered him like he's very excited to have two separate houses and two bedrooms and the funny kids because the mega resilient yeah they don't have the same worries as we do so for them it's quite black and

white mom's gonna live there dad's gonna they don't care at that age so right so what what happens like in the morning when you have you but what do you do at tea time what do you do so it did it ended like the first few months we just we would just like pass each other every so often then it got to like after christmas and i was like right there needs to be a little bit more structure to this because how did you live in the same house like as much as i like to say that things don't bother us or anything and it's not like i wasn't like massively massively bothered but i think my nervous system was shot a bit absolutely like i would be in the same room and sometimes like me hands would be shaking oh like because you're around someone who was absolutely

fucked you over and you've got to sit there with them yeah and watch them eat the breakfast like we do we get on like we we still do yeah you might have to listen do the crime gets talked about exactly so you kind of got on but and what about when you both started dating what happens then do you start dating what'd you do well he was dating when we were together so so when when people say that i'm like what it's better than fair when we were do you know what i mean yeah and it's not like oh it's the first girl i've ever seen him with because you already knew that that had happened so that plaster had been pulled off so he he started dating someone um and then a couple of months later i started dating someone when he started i couldn't see myself ever

getting there yeah like I was a bit like I could never do this while I'm under the same roof as like there needs to be that finish but I think until you're in the situation you just never know what you're going to do until you're in a situation did you worry about like I've got two kids absolutely is anyone gonna want me absolutely like I created a hinge the day that it happened yeah right and i was just like just fuck it get on there have a little get some attention to get some attention i went on and i was like this is time do you not think it makes you feel worse though this is absolutely horrific um so over the course of like a few months i'd had the odd conversation with the odd person and i was like this i just think i'll be happy by myself like

and why would anybody ever want to get involved in this situation that i'm in right now like imagine having to explain to someone that you're still under the same roof as your ex-boyfriend if my mate came to me when i've met this guy and he lived with and i'd be like fuck that off yeah right away yeah which i would as well like if one of my friends came to me i'd be like oh nah no if someone came if someone was talking to me and they said i still live with me i'd be like see you later so but things happen don't they yeah and i think did you i bet you could you even have did you want like did you want that family in the end did you think to yourself like one day i do want that mum dad i think my family unit yeah i think that's what we all want we all

want a little bit of the fairy tale don't you like you want a happy ending you want you want to be in love yeah and being treated nicely and have a partnership yeah and i want my like i want my kids to see that yeah because that's one thing that i think a lot of people do they stay with someone that they shouldn't because of the kids but but you need to leave for the kids exactly you need to leave for the kids because what why why obviously i did it for years so like yeah and i do think i think you've just got to go through it like you've got to go through it no matter how many times someone tells you that you should leave you should do this you should do that you won't do it until you're ready you are ready yeah and you've just got to get to that point of ready and then

you will look back and think what the fuck was i doing yeah but you can't how many friends i've said leave him leave him and then in the end i'm just like she'll do it when she's like my friends must have been sick of me she'll do it when she's ready and then when you are ready it's getting to that point of being ready what do you think so let's think about someone who's listening now that he's listening and thinking that's me i'm still here i know he's cheated or even not that he's cheated i know i'm unhappy i know he's not treating me right i know this isn't forever what practical advice would you give so for example i would say start looking at your finances now yeah get an exit maybe prepare exit maybe just start preparing a bit of an exit swirling

i think that's really important to make sure that you're gonna be okay by yourself yeah and even if that takes a bit of time it might be worth starting i think go and have a meeting with like a lawyer or solicitor you might be married you might have house it put everything on the table and be like right what is this scenario looking like if I leave I think in your head you're not thinking your head you kind of have to prepare yourself for the new life that I'm going to be on my own probably start thinking this is how it's going to look yeah let me get used to that I think probably the most important thing is support yeah the support around you make sure you've got the support there that you're gonna need yeah like your family friends because you

are gonna need it so i would say to someone have a look at how you're because this sounds really like boring but it's probably some of the reasons that you didn't leave and other people don't leave because it just feels like a mountain yeah like how can i like there's just so much to think about and i've seen like i'm a year forward and there's still stuff to think about like there's still stuff that I have to think about and sometimes I think I can't really be asked to think about this right when it's done that's it it's done so I think make a plan of even if you work out right so if I had the child on that day and then my mum can help on that day start yeah planning so it doesn't feel as huge start writing lists how about co-parenting what are your tips with co-parenting

obviously you've lived together it's a bit different yeah so I don't really have any yet you're just gonna see how it goes yeah because I'm at the phase of obviously we've not long moved out of the house so we're living now you're gonna start but we still don't have our own houses yet right like i'm right now i'm homeless yeah i'm in with my mom in a bedroom um but you're not gonna be soon because the mortgage is gonna come through i hope the mortgage is gonna come through um have you made up a plan yet of who's having them when so i do like a schedule at the start of every month right of when like we're each gonna have them um and that's just what i'm gonna do for however long and see how it goes well this is this is what everyone keeps telling us and i'm

like but i don't know what do you do how do you begin it anyone wants us to do about it right now because i need to see how it goes like i just need to see how it's gonna go the only advice i'd give with that from my experience not actually my own experience i've never really had a problem with that kind of thing but anything that's left to question marks or that's movable if you're dealing with somebody and you might not be you might not be but if you deal with someone that you think i don't know you're going to take this they can sometimes anything that's changeable will get changed yeah so what i think the best way to do it see how you get on a set routine because the other thing is otherwise you have to speak to each other all the time you know each other's plans as

well i'm going away there you don't really want if you want that nice split you've got to try and get it where it's the same or we have a week one and a week two everyone knows where they're picking them up from at what time and there's no moving parts so that i can't do it why shifts what if not yeah no it's just you're just gonna have to see how this goes yeah i'm just gonna have to see how it goes like i can't do set days right because because of shift work and stuff like that it might not work right okay so i guess you see how it goes then don't you and i think everything in writing everything documented is another thing that i would always say because you need that kind of documentation right you've got a new man i have what's he like oh he's great

james lauren and james oh god i thought you were james Fucking hell I thought you meant mine Oh my eyes Imagine Imagine if I was just Coming to the podcast To drop that on you

To drop it That'd be great TV And great YouTube Right so where Where do you meet him in the end So on Hinge On Hinge that shit Yeah

And this is just Such a lovely story That girls When you split up with someone You think it's It always works out Yeah Everything does

Eventually Everything can work out How it's meant to work out And did you know straight away Yeah Yeah so it was obviously i seen him on hinge on new year's day right um and it's somewhat i didn't know him but i knew who he was right and i seen him and i thought i'm sure he's meant to be a

really nice lad and obviously he'd liked me yeah um so i thought oh i'll i'll match with him and then we spoke every every day since and he's got kids yes a couple two two that's not too bad two i've got two and how do you blend it all so we've only just started that right that that don't really know you don't know yet what is like how to do it how you're gonna i'm winging everything i think i just feel like you've just got a wing yeah everything and and is he lovely he's just oh he's so great he's not gonna cheat on you is he fucking out i hope well you thought that about the first one. Can we just check this one? But I really hope not.

He's a good guy. I can't imagine it. And he's a good dad. Yes. And he's lovely. He's great. Is he good in bed? Fucking fantastic. Fantastic. I'm so happy for you on that one. Same. Absolutely brilliant. So he's got children. Do you think it helps when they've got

kids because you can see what they're like as a dad already? I think so. I don't think it would have bothered us if he did or he didn't. But I think It's, I wouldn't want to have kids with anyone else either, so I wouldn't want someone that wanted to have another child. That didn't have any and might want one,

so it's worked out. Are you definitely no more? Nah. Not an ours baby, that's what they call them. Nah. Ours baby. I just don't want to do it. You're just done?

I'm done. Like, I'm really done. You're done. Right, I'm not going to push it on you, because I've not slept for a year, I'm not going to push it on you. No. And how has it been, kind of, with the boys now,

are you gonna just do you just say this is me mate is that so i did it first i think that's always good but now it's like you know they know that he's my boyfriend and they've been all right yeah fine honestly they don't care do they know absolutely people worry so much about children obviously within reason people worry so much about how resilient children are and they really are i do i think mine are a good age like yeah they're so little like they don't overthink it do they they don't care like i don't think they'd even be giving it a thought no they just think that's mommy's boyfriend he's nice and that's that so what are your plans for the future can i say that because you won't go you're homeless at the minute well i hope that i'm just like

gonna have a home at some point okay so we're gonna get your home yeah so we're gonna not be homeless yeah um that's pretty much my only my only plan can you believe how much your life has changed in a year did you it is mental when like when you think about it but i'm honest like i probably don't say this to myself enough but i'm so fucking proud of myself good like i'm so so proud of myself for what like for not going under yeah like you're still alive the kids are alive we're doing all right you've not got home but everyone's alive yeah what would you say to yourself like so i'm just thinking of anyone who's listening now and i know there's going to be loads of people that are that you're that are listening to you and thinking i need to do this i need to

what's your advice to like the year ago you or to anyone i would just tell yourself that you're about to be so much happier yeah like you are about to be so much happier it's going to be a rough bit first when that's done yeah the end is going to be so much happier yeah and stronger as well do you not think so much i bet you're not i bet you're so you're not asked for anything now are you because you know that i can look after myself and i can bring up children on my own and i can go through that pregnant like what yeah exactly come at us what else do you want to throw it is like just do it you can and you feel so strong straight off and do you not think as well now if there was which god forbid and there won't be if there was any early signs of anything

untoward now i think i'd be a goner i think i hope so yeah like i hope i think you know you'd be a goner yeah so you've learned that strength and resilience as well yeah well I'm proud of you do you know what really really helped yeah was obviously when I kind of made the decision to talk about it a little bit on my Instagram obviously I've never said this like exactly what happened but I've said things and honestly the amount of DMs and stuff that I get off people the conversations that I have had with other women like some days they've kept us going i love that like they've really really kept us going i think because when i was like in the trenches at the start i'm very like i like to listen to song lyrics yeah i like to find quotes

yeah that really inspire what i'm feeling right like right then so i thought i want to put that kind of content out yes see if it does like resonate with anyone if like i can you can be of assistance yeah to anyone in any way and honestly the conversations and stuff that i've had of just being brilliant well obviously they're not actually that great of a conversation they're quite sad yeah but but it's and you know i think it shows you that sometimes you think you're the only one and you you're definitely not and just speaking about it speak to a friend speak to someone get it off your chest don't bottle it up talk about it yeah and don't you feel better when you are so much better and i honestly think that there'll be a lot of people that have listened to

this episode and that you've given it either a kick up the arse stop a situation that they shouldn't be in and a bit of hope or someone who's just found themselves newly single will be able to look at you and think she's homeless and she ain't us do you know what you just thought you'd be all right it's gonna be all right you will be all right and they can dm you yeah you can't you can't i will talk to anyone about anything okay now you're gonna get after this episode you're gonna be like lauren but thank you for coming on like i appreciate it so much before you go very very quick because we're going to move on to the bonus and we're going to do dilemmas and stuff like that together how are you getting on with work because you've done that as

well like you've been working your ass off i have yeah so i've just restarted recently doing facials and stuff so i'm a facialist yeah um so i'm back doing that face and finery by lauren i am based in an absolutely beautiful clinic in sunderland it's one of my best friends who's just opened it It's called Price and Call. It is unreal. Is it? Yeah, an unreal bunch of girls that are doing a lot of good, good treatments.

So actually, what people could do, rather than DMing you... Come for a facial. Come for a facial. Go in the salon. Have a therapy session. Because when there's a load of girls in a salon, do you not think it's just such a therapy session?

I hear. So they can do that. Tell me again where it is. Price and Call. Price and Call. Go there, have therapy, and come out with glass skin. Yeah, absolutely.

Thank you, Lauren. let's move to the bonus where she ain't going anywhere yet we're going to do some dilemmas and some questions and this kind of stuff

okay thank you darling bye