Nip Tuck - Unfortunately I Love...

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

...."a finger up the arse"There's another new Instagram trend we hate, Ashley talks about Cosmetic Consults first birthday plans and should we get our nuns done? If you want even MORE episodes each week, then you can subscribe on Apple or sign up to our Patreon - patreon.com/niptuckpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Guys, hello and welcome to NibTurk, not giving a fuck. With Lauren and Princess Anne. So, I have done myself a little croissant. It does look like a croissant. Yeah, he's like a croissant. And these two twats have been taking the piss out of me for it. Only because we're jealous, because we could never. For two reasons, I haven't got the hair, so it would not do that.

And also, I don't have the skill. but more importantly I don't have the hair I could never I haven't even got enough for a what's a very tiny croissant

what's a very tiny pastry a mini pastry a strudel I couldn't even do a strudel with mine so what have you been up to I've been to Wales

for the weekend tell me about that so so really weirdly I saw Danny Doll share this place I saw that and it looked

and it was dog friendly as well let's not anyway and it's called gimlet with a b gimlet gimlet rock like holiday park giblets like a giblet but not um and i saw danny go there and i followed them and they messaged like do you want to come i was like oh my god absolutely yeah definitely kind of like that i kind of said can i come um anyway so don't ask you don't get my love so i booked there but something was going on it was full or something so i went to a slightly different site of theirs and they have loads of

different sites around well the call it's called pario um the and they're our friends well i didn't realize so i'm back and forth in with this page i remember

them saying the caravan thing yes but i didn't i still didn't click and their mum was so lovely so i'm back and forth in with this page we met them at julie pezza yeah

and i know it's tanya's it was tanya's it was still julie though wasn't it it was tanya's no we met them the first time i mean the tanya's mental mum

the first julie perry we had pictures with them and i was saying to the girl how gorgeous her dress was to rio i must and then um not pissed no and there anyway lauren the first time we met them was at june so i didn't realize it was them had no idea um chatting away back and forth organized it all

oh my god yeah there it's their family business but i just didn't know so we got there and we had this gorgeous cabin it was right out in the middle of like loads of fields and stuff there was a hot tub how long did it take to get there an hour and 45 wasn't bad at all it honestly went pretty quick me james the girls tommy and my mum went and when i got there they'd done like a hamper with loads of like stuffing for me they'd filled the fridge so this is how i got first inkling of it when i opened the fridge there was some chicken wine there was a bottle of champagne but then there was like really good bacon and your milk that you use and there was a bottle of gavi yeah and a bottle of gavi and and i just thought this is an interesting fridge i feel like you know what

those things were i knew what chicken wine was and i knew what the champagne was not the gavi not the gavi no no and i was literally just like you you're partial to a white wine i like a white wine i'll have a pinot though mate um and i look and i just feel like a second nip talk listener i don't know it's weird thought nothing of it anyway she said i'll come down and say hi got out the car it was paris so paris and rio their family own it and i hadn't realized all this time it was them but it was absolutely yes the only i would say obviously weather fucks everything doesn't it like it was poor ring down one day but luckily in a caravan you can kind of like is it a static caravan it's not like a caravan like with wheels um and we were cozy and

we watched films they got us a popcorn maker there's a restaurant on site and i met some nip tuck listeners there so i was in the restaurant looking like an actual piece of dog shit because i'd had needling i thought doesn't matter i'm not gonna see anyone here am i and we were in this restaurant and this lovely lady came over and she was like she was literally came over and was like i'm gonna have to come over i'm so sorry yeah she was lovely and her and her friends were there so that was nice it must be like for my first autograph the other day what i'm joking i was like do people still do that i was like why i was like what what why no one's asked me do you know what my dad did my dad was my dad once told me that he'd got victoria beckham's

because do you remember i've got back in the day um back in the day but also back in the day like and they still are men were a bit well my dad was do you know like a bit like thick women and he was like i've got victoria beckham signature because he used to fly a lot and i was oh my god i was so happy meet celebs on an air actually met robbie williams and said he was lovely and i was so excited so excited and then he came to me i was like give me the signature and it was just a cross he said she couldn't spell her name and i was like that's not one bit funny he just made up a joke to say she was not stupid i know it wasn't hers right anyway he was trying to he was just trying to be funny you know and dad's trying to be funny and i was like crying

and my mum was like why have you done that bros um sophia bailey yeah so i enjoyed the caravan she's got a caravan i know a few people that have and i think in the summer it would be amazing it was sunny the next day we went into conway conway or conway i don't know well she's a whole other language yeah i know because me and thea saw an ambulance and it was like i don't know what it was but um they loved it yeah we had a great time but you know what as much as it's like amazing you're like i'll book that a couple nights away with the kids friday when we went i had to do the washing knowing that i wouldn't be able to do the washing for monday so i'm doing all the washing i'm packing for two children me and a baby we had suitcases full for two fucking nights in wales no then we

to drive there unpack everything and then don't you think you do the last bit of your packing like an hour before you leave so that you're like throwing everything in because you get panicky and then we're obviously coming back drove back sunday night like you can go to the shop and buy something yeah i know literally my mum brought an entire big like you know like bag for life with snacks whatever so then we got back in here to unpack it all sandwich she made thea some sandwiches yeah but the girls absolutely loved it like we got in the hot tub in the rain and yeah it was great so guys i think they sent they've given me a code eek you'll share it on lauren 15 i'm gonna guess if not well they can change it yeah whatever but yeah i've really enjoyed it so i did that what

did you do at the weekend you had much more of a it looked more what did i do you went to louis i want to know why you were there and what you were doing tell me all about it why you were there And what were you doing? Wow, guys. So I got invited. Right. Did you? Yeah, but I was in Wales.

Ah, right. I couldn't, like, go. They were like, do you want to come? And I was like, no, I can't ask Ashley instead. And I got invited. Ah! I feel really sad. I do, I do.

You wouldn't have gone. What was it? It was the launch of their Sunday roast. I don't even care. Yeah. So basically The launch of a Sunday roast Like no one's ever had one before

You can sit like 1, 2 or 3 o'clock And then like there was live music The Sunday roast was the best Sunday roast I've had for a long time Allegedly It was a gorgeous Gorgeous day It was lovely

Who did you go with? Lola So you two just went for Sunday dinner? So what sitting did you do? So there was like a few different ones two so what was so was it like night outy like dark felt dark and night outy but you're eating a sunday roast yeah interesting and luke was there luke hamner yes why was he there because he got invited yes okay did anyone not get invited um just me sat in wales um i saw as well amber jepson was there oh yeah and yeah it was just it was gorgeous it was really really nice

so i actually really want a book to go back i really want to go um james keeps saying he wants to go because i feel like there's no james ever been to live i've never been what i don't go out i don't i last went out in my i don't go out why don't um we go on a couples yes that'd be fun i'd do that did you see the thing that fell on the floor and sex oh my god no that could have If that had hit somebody... No, someone... Dead. Right, allegedly is still in hospital.

How allegedly? Who was it that I was with? Because I saw... And they said that someone's still... I'm surprised it's not... Was it in the papers? Yeah. Or was it?

See, I just saw someone that I followed had screenshot it and their friend was there and it said something like, like, their friend was fine but was sat near it. I saw an article, yeah. Really? That is... Like, how do you... They must have insurance, right, for things falling off walls?

it's basically guys this fucking huge i don't know how huge like embellished is it would you say it's as big as a car yeah yeah maybe not as wide when i remember the first time i went in and i looked up at it i was like wow and gosh how dangerous yeah well did you think that i didn't i wasn't you're off your head i was oh that was the last time i went out and that was about what is it they say three sheets to the wind what does that mean and that was two and a half years ago say that i'm gonna google it um yeah i had a really good time until like i was like sick and had to get taken home um but yeah i would like to go to louis because i think it's hard to find somewhere where you can go you can eat you can have the vibe like i love bagatelle i know people

think it's a little bit what's the word now we're not allowed to say the word chav anymore no so a little bit whatever think but that vibe a little bit lower lower lower market yeah but but i really enjoy that and i like it in dubai it's my it's my favorite place i love it like you know like dubai when it's like basically dinner and dancing and you can stay in one place opening as well what's that oh were you not invited to the launch christina you were no but i got invited to the i did get invited to a shisha bar launch guess what though guys like somewhere not near yeah i've got um some good news my soho house membership's been accepted well i don't care at the end of october in manchester it's got bedrooms and everything

yeah right three sheets to the wind go on oh i found it if you want to go on right it's basically it means three sheets to the wind refers to being drunk da da da the phase is nautical origins suggested a sail with three sheets isn't gonna get anywhere blowing in the wind right i think that's i think that's really really good i'm three sheets mate oh i'll tell you what i um was gonna mention i got some stuff from plt you know since the rebrand i know it was ages ago a tia linica's just done and i got something from tia linica's range yeah um they she has some like quite thick trousers that are like a brown no um like i want to say granny material because i can't think of a better word like

thick no no um like a suit like a man white mirror suit but not thin like woolly suit a wool a woolen a woolen pack no they're really nice and there's a top that goes with it really it's a gorgeous outfit but problem i have with plt is my tits are too big for everything in it really yeah if i get like a size like six or whatever or six to eight nothing gets up my back so either my ribs or my tits are too big so my thought on that is i think the styling is much better like when you look at the website the quality i didn't think was any different i didn't think the quality was any different tia's is nice tia's range is nice i know we got some stuff through for the office yeah like an event and the quality did you think really premium yeah yeah so i'll be honest the

things that i ordered felt the same quality as before but the tia linica range was very very nice i kept a few little bits and i've got like a velour striped tracksuit that's very sisters and seekers brown one yeah that's nice look on there there's like a brown done that in um navy blue as well it's like a sleeveless top it's it's a sleeveless set and it's like a woolen trouser but it makes your waist look really small i've kept the pants really nice have a little look um yeah so i was just gonna say i don't didn't find the quality that much better but i think the styling on the website is much more you know classy and you might look at it and think oh i'll have a bit of that i did that live last night had ipl yesterday um cosmetic consult 10th anniversary

yeah right anniversary first first anniversary yeah i was like yeah and then i thought so it's cosmetic consult first anniversary yes one year old be there or b square 11th of september in spinning fields it's october babe oh yeah fucking hell life comes so fast so 11th of october in spinning fields near the ivy ish 10 a.m to hang around near the ivy 10 a.m so what's gonna happen giving out some product oh yeah yeah go for the product little meaty greedy setup yeah stocks will only last as long as they last guys let me just look at what um i've got the kids that weekend i will post it on patreon and then i'm doing like a little uh brunchy thing i don't have the children a couple of us ed's coming if james wants to come with you

james might come and like drop tommy with his mum and me and james will come well tommy's welcome um yeah it's only like yeah well we'll see we'll see but yeah no i will definitely come i've booked an area somewhere for after that for just like a little drinky poo that'll be nice so that will be nice christina i've invited you as well um it's the only thing i've been fucking invited to i come back from america that day you're going to america where are you going i cannot remember anything do you know what i did the other day i drove to james's mum's to give a tommy because i had some work to do and i got there and i went in and it took me an hour to get there and i passed the bait and i was like i've forgotten his shit his bag with his milk no

how did you not realize he's nappy everything for the entire day so i was just like look i'm gonna have to drive back home again and come back i have no other option then as i turned to leave she was like it's on your shoulder that's my main that's my mental state right now i was literally like is he sleeping okay last night he was oh he's got this like snuffly cold thing and he was boiling hot in the night and yeah there's nothing you can't sleep when no no no it was last night was a bit of a rough one and the last two nights were a bit rough but i'm used to it like it's fine but yeah a little bit rough but he's all cold in them we're going on holiday in the morning um i'm going to corfu for four nights just me james and tommy the other kids are at their

co-parents or the halves whatever you call it so we're going there so i'll report back because it's like a luxury hotel but child friendly which i think is very hard to find nice because normally if they're child friendly then where's coffee grease right yeah it's like three and a half hours so i'm hoping the only thing is though if he's snuffly is he going to be a pain on the fly i don't know we will see we fly at 5 a.m keep him bop bopped up yeah 5 a.m we fly yeah and i'm looking forward to actually getting a nice little break a little bit of sun i did my tan last night all sorted ready to go i am at an event tomorrow i've had no nanny now tell us about that because i meant to say to you why she's on holiday she allowed how dare she but you've been texting like

i hope you're having a lovely time sarah's on holiday i need to text her actually the kids are like where's sarah she doesn't shout at us this morning so ed is like i have to be in the off with my night so obviously he fucking oh man he gets up and then he's like off you go get them ready oh well he has a shit oh yeah shower comes down looking pristine makes his coffee stands on the phone and then what does he think i'm doing for the rest of the fucking day and then who has to spend an hour cleaning all the shit up as well oh so this morning anyway he was like come on chop chop and i just turned around and it was like and i was like you bastard and he's like there's no need to call me a bastard and i thought you know in my head i was like oh

this is why people get divorced yes when they have kids this is why they hit husband around the head with objects like i get it do you know james when we've got the kids when we've got his three don't get me wrong he's he's good he's up he's do you know like but most mornings when it's me tommy and fear and him he gets a bit slower he leaves the house at half six he's got oh clever him no he's gone yeah that's why he's clever him he gets up he gets in his work clothes he makes a coffee has his toast gets in the car on his own and drives to work alone meanwhile i'm even when he's got the kids i will run around with him i got up about i think i'll go about six this morning because we had five children to get ready so i will run up and down all that and then they all

leave at 7 30 so four of them four four kids how many's he got three kids and him gone and then i'm left with so early for little ones yeah mate half seven gone and i am there then with the car james has helped to get them ready don't get me wrong but he's left the house and i'm then left with the carnage toothpaste spit in the sink oh no i know baby wipes on the floor yeah he's on the floor baby wipes beds not made so i'm there and i've got to be here and i've got a form and i still managed an updo and i has and you did an updo i can't even do that and he leaves and i still made a castle the door shuts and then i'm like right now i need to clear up the carnage that you've all made get the baby ready get theory then i do the school run myself

and then i drive to work i was looking at this girl on instagram like a few nights ago and she has i think three kids and every day her makeup is like a full she must do it before they wake up this is right girls that have got their shit together what do you do how do you do it because this girl has like fucking eyelashes is there any babies i think there's one b and i was looking at like but how so i think like even before a night out i can't do that i think she even gets she either gets up really like early before the kiss or doesn't take it off no i know someone in it i know someone that does that oh no no no not good for the pause i'll tell you i'll tell you after here it is but they literally they get a beat like a professional beat twice a week

and they don't wash it off that's awful for your skin um i think either she gets up in the morning or i would guess if the kids are a bit older chuck them in front of the bloody ipad don't you for a bit while you do it or in front of the tell me a beat on this level i'll show you is like a two hour oh really yeah also i didn't brush my hair this morning i did it with my fingers in the car has anyone listened to cardi b's new album yet no i'm obsessed with her i have seen bits and bobs from katherine ryan sharing stuff but i'm not across much i haven't switched it on just yet girls on patreon put your favorite songs in there so that we can like get on it because we are massive cardigan fans be careful's my food

the amount of men i've sung that over and not been and it's bullshit because i'm not be careful of me oh i've tasted them like i miss you christina it's today the condom episode no that's next week we get confused because we record like a week ahead that would be uh no no no because we did four didn't we so it's next i can't wait for that one you've got some funny episodes coming up girls because matt can you google condom sales like and and they will have gone down or is it just because i'm old now and i don't use yeah i mean like nip tuck has direct impact on this episode is out that episode will have come out the week before yeah also do you know after my nude picture incident our friend came around to mine at the weekend

who's had her nun done and i had a nun yeah i think it's the same friend no but she has had a nun done right with the person that me and you wanted to get on with he works in hail i know he works yeah i know so what do i do do i message him direct because if you go through the clinic and I also wouldn't want I would rather just go straight to the surgeon having been a patient coordinator and nothing against it I know what I'm doing I don't want that whole just give me the fucking surgeon

yeah like it's just like cut my beef curtains off yeah let me see the surgeon you chop my fanny up Louis I'll buy them for someone the Ashley special there's enough to go around are you gonna do the nun I might I might like get it Ed for his birthday or something

oh my god I might that'd be really good TikTok by the way doesn't get seen that often he doesn't listen to mine doesn't get seen very often no mine doesn't either not at the minute i'll be honest i'm too tired and i'm angry also i'm angry like do you know women are such we've said this before but you're such mental creatures when it comes to not all women but a lot of them when it comes to sex like if you've pissed me off in the day or you've not helped me enough and i'm exhausted i don't want to shag you absolutely not i'm not in the whereas men you could have literally shat in the lunchbox and still that night that night

they are gonna they want to have sex with you like they're not bothered whereas i'm like no because earlier you left for work and you didn't even help no i think ed was really upset at the fact that called him a bastard and then he rang me and he was going say i love you was it um but have you got that guy's number i'm sure you got his mobile number off uh our friend i know him but i don't if he'll remember me i might probably look a bit different but i could probably message him and say we worked together at maya do you remember me and then maybe we could see him should i try and yeah well i'm back on my stomach again i keep going on and off and on and off and i'm back having a reverse tummy tuck in january again but i'm gonna do it with the surgeon that

did my boobs and i spoke to danny doll and he's done a lot of her stuff and she was like yeah really really right so i'm back on that again so there's stomach did you see those legs i sent you really good very expensive he's a leg liposurgeon um i've forgotten his bloody name on he's very i think he's in barcelona you know i've had my lips bigger i thought they looked bigger but i wasn't sure if it was the liner i've gone smaller you've gone bigger yeah what's happened there then i wasn't sure if it was the liner they do feel like they needed to be bigger because of my teeths right okay by the way the next time we record my teeths will be but they'll look the same as now right because that's going to be the same as you know whiter of course whiter yeah someone the other

day was like i'm so glad you didn't decide to get b1 i was like next time you see them like i'm excited to see that i i could have gone b1 i could have gone b1 um i'm not angry also if you've been seeing that tom skinner's been doing updates how is he like 33 as well guys That's a lie We're allowed to shame men this way Yeah, yeah, not women But men's fine James has fallen out with him

I mean, obviously Tom doesn't know But James is Thomas Thomas James has fully fallen out with him He's like I thought he was a certain type of guy Good morning, you lovely people

Now I certainly start to the gym Finish up my workout And looking forward to another day Dancing with my wonderful street new partner Has any more come out about that? Google, let's see if there's like an update Oh, guys, right Stop the fucking press

Woah I can't keep up I'm going on the news There's a trend Lauren I've got something funny to tell you Strictly Thomas Skinner Is forced to scrap the word Bosch

Brand Bosch After legal row with Bosch B-O-S-C-H Because they don't want to be Associated with it Oh my god

When was that? 16 hours ago He's been blocked From using the catchphrase Bosch That's ridiculous They can't do that it's like me saying yeah but they are called bosh yeah but bosh doesn't they didn't make up the word

bosh well don't go around saying cosmetic console at the end of everything i'm gonna do something really bad and then at the end of it go cosmetic console yeah the brand has taken legal um action against him so let's see let's see what was the question you just asked before that oh yes the instant trend i love a trend at the beginning but if you don't jump onto that trend within the first like you hate them anyway i don't mind them but you've got to jump on it in the first week weekish 48 hours yeah if you then a month later doing it that's then annoying unfortunately i hate to admit but unfortunately i love a strawberry calzone strawberry and cream calzone um i'm gonna what's the actual i love and it's like

a cheeky ciggy an ice cold diet two sugars in my tea you bloody bugger you

let's do one let's do one like unfortunately I love a finger up me ass I love

shagging me husband's dad imagine there was an act like come on

it's the one using the c word oh you dirty let's think of like someone like what like the worst ones could be like robbing itself check out yeah oh yeah like masturbating over um no i like a dolmio stirring sauce yeah um code codeine as a what's the word No, not even

What's it called For recreational use Codeine to feel better About all the children In the house What's it called When the ingestions For you to sleep

General anaesthetic When the day's a bit more Heroin When they go to animals And euthanise Horse tranquiliser Tranquilise I like heroin

On a Sunday night After me roast Mine be out Unfortunately I love palming my kids are unfortunately you like passively aggressive

replying to comments oh absolutely revenge years later yeah in a very dark way we need to do one like these they're so funny though

some of them are so fucking tame matches I love a I love a match a black coffee on an empty tummy I saw that one

I'm just like I feel like going like this to these people we should do an intake one that's really bad melt

you're a melt you're a melt you're a melt you're a melt shut the fuck up shall we start writing melt on all of them

melt bosh because the thing is bosh the thing is like they just really like if that's your

if that's your deepest darkest then it's bullshit as well and also the people I've seen doing that

definitely like do cat and shit yeah yeah i think if you're gonna do it has to be something funny if it's just gonna be tame and like don't i don't even bother using makeup wipes to take my makeup off oh my goodness your paws um do you know what i think's funny as well the everyone agreed with the olivia dean song didn't they quite a lot of people but then we had it on our real that's also

very funny but you didn't do that oh when i sent the clip over to the social team bless her she was like she was pissing herself and she was like oh my god i've used it and i was like stop it's done now and it's still got traction i like the song i really like the song no i can't are you done with it now done it's in my head a lot so adam likes olivia dean allegedly and he goes oh my god a nick tuck clip came up for me the other day and i was like what was it and it was that clip so is that because he listens to oh my god

that's not good then we're gonna hit all her fans maybe that's why you're getting trolled Ashley is all of a sudden out of nowhere it's not funny

I'm not one bit arse Christina it's mental it's all of a sudden she's just calling me brick mate because I don't give a fuck

troll me come at me like honestly she's just random so it started with your plastic face it started

it started with a few comments saying that you'd had something done you you look exactly the same there's nothing maybe it's the teeths no it's not you don't any different but something triggered someone that's how it started and then yeah it was the padel oh yeah the paddle thing has risen it's ugly so we said we like ages ago called paddle people wankers which i don't know it's whatever they might be they might not stand by whatever stand by it um and somebody that what about that guy that messaged you so a guy

a man a real account with a picture of him and his partner on it so like a real guy messaged you saying something like paddle isn't for losers

or something like that and then she ignored it so we put again hi can you read my message he was that bothered what the actual fuck do you know but why you

they've not come at me you must have said something and it's like the clips re whatever and it's pissed everyone off because I get no invites

but I get no trolling so I mean we can't win can you really what good telly is there on at the minute so there's something that we started watching and i can't get into it called cold water i've heard of that like i can't i can't get into that maths maths i've not i've started watching it started last night um but i was in a mood because james didn't get home with all the kids till quarter past nine and i don't think he noticed that i wasn't speaking to him um so i didn't really like take it in properly because i was really irritated that i had to do all the putting away stuff at that time so i was a bit

annoyed so i didn't really get into it but we're gonna watch that because we're gonna do actually if you started watching it because we did say that every week we're gonna do yeah a little started watching it i'm really enjoying it are you lying no i'm really well who's who's in it then um i don't know their names tell me a character tell me one of the people i haven't i've not watched it either that was a real how good was i i knew you hadn't no it's because i was looking at my phone I can't do you it's the weddings at the minute and that's always it takes a while to get into it yeah you're watching it and you're a bit like yeah and then then you get into it you start knowing the characters and no I um I watched I did watch a little bit of it to

be fair and there's one woman that I know is going to really irritate me already Charlie Sheen program I started watching it couldn't get into it the beginning was really funny and good and me and Ed were howling when he was making all these facts yeah I think I was half I think I was half watching it that and then also the other one is we went back and watched that program that travel one with rylan and judge rinder i've not seen that oh my god is it good you and it's like a you know like watch when you're like on your phones so you can nip in and out that's um i put that on then also ladies of london is it called ladies of london or is it called real housewives of london now full-on right i'm enjoying that i've not i'm still not up to date with that i'm

enjoying that really good and then i've been listening to this podcast i've still listened to this right i've still not finished carrie cotona's podcast i'll listen to a bit this morning and i've still not bloody finished it yet i'd like her on the pod i wonder if she'd ever come on we've asked a few times it's called noble right okay and joanne mcnally recommended it and basically i won't say too much but it's absolutely fucked and it's about this what are they called cremation places like um yeah crematorium in america where it was a small town and everyone in the town when you died you went to the crematorium and they would burn the bodies and then put them in the thing and then give it to you at the funeral and this guy who

was the gas delivery guy drove up one day and saw a foot on the ground this is a real story and it's all the real people from in it then he like reported to the police and they wouldn't and they didn't really give a shit and then he went back another day and saw a full-on body like that looked like wax and he like was like it was so weird like its face was like melted and the man came over and was like talking to him and he like didn't even give a shit that there was a dead body right near me on the floor yeah and when they went in there was literally they'd been doing it for decades they had never ever properly burned anyone they were just giving people like dust dust yeah oh my god and when they imagine people are going spreading dust years for this team of

people to go in and like there was like bones all mixed up with each other so what were they doing just chucking them in a pile yeah why all over the like different parts of like the house the land and the whole family was in on it but why to save money so they took the money for the cremation didn't do it then like all the people's families had to like get back in touch with and how the did you find this podcast also um where do you want to go for lunch before joanne i've asked you about four times yeah because it's at three o'clock you haven't and i thought it was an evening so hang on a minute we'll meet you at about one well hang on a minute because i thought this was in an evening i thought all shows were nighttime things what date is it next sunday oh it says show

ashley oh we've got the kids fantastic i will leave um so if i right okay i need to change that to 1 p.m guys any oh it will have been and gone now but i said do you fancy a nando's oh i love a nando's that's really nice it is a nice and i love a nando's like a little rosy and oh yeah and then we don't have to get to like just a nice is callum coming over and they've got all lovely right so that's and we're right okay i'm so excited because lauren does does not go and see shows christina no i don't i don't i've never i don't do shows so i'm excited to see that and it might like do you know what i would love i was i sent to you didn't i pete and sam doing the o2 oh my god did you see that that was like it was sold out do you know what i not as much

affects me i'm very sorry but i watched that and you know when you get that feeling you're something like wow good on you both like and they stood there like that and i thought that's amazing and then i thought i could do that we could do that could you yeah yeah i think i was talking to James about it and he was like could you actually get up and do that on stage and I was like yeah I was like yeah I actually could like in front of all those thousands of people I was like yeah I could like fine no I would rather do

that than go to an influencer event like that I would get more stressed over going to a small event an influencer-y thing than doing that kind of show I'm mad. I'm at an influencer event tomorrow it's Sasha Atwood has done a collection with

Design. Oh has she? Yeah. Oh I love her what a lovely girl isn't she the nicest yeah so i'm going to studio 34 tomorrow everybody goes there for the things don't they it's very aesthetic aesthetically pleasing yeah um and that's about it really that's oh i'll tell you what though the searcher lean gate wait um hannah's range her clothing range you know hannah jakes i call that now she's married she's married hannah dawson yeah her clothing range she's just messaged me actually looks yeah she's got an event and I can't go

I think I must be in Corfu me and Megan are going well I did get invited to that I'm in Corfu so it must be soon so make sure it's in your diary it is it's at Louis as well well I won't care because I'll be in Corfu what were you just going to say

I don't think you will be in Corfu whatever it was I couldn't go because I remember looking and thinking for fuck's sake I would have gone to that it's next Thursday Like, is it the day you come back? There's something. Are you away for a week? No, why can't I go then?

Oops. No, there's a reason. Because I remember thinking, oh, I'd like to go to that. And then thinking, I actually can't. I must have something on. But I remember thinking, I want to go to that. Because she's lovely and her style is, oh, la, la. So I actually feel like her clothing range is going to be insane.

Anyway, I'm looking now. Try and come, because me and Megan are going together. And it would be really nice if you could come with us. I think Sash is coming as well. i'm getting my hair done that's why oh my god are you all right no but to get in with katie i can't get like that's it there's no hair doesn't even need no no i'm having a huge head all new hair extensions like i'm having a whole i'm booked out to like the entire day i can't change i can't move it she's also me and ed got caught speeding on the same day in separate places and we both got

our letter through on the same day isn't that weird were you stressed was it a stressful day it was because you called him a bastard so you both sped off skirt skirt also for my event i've got to get my whole car wrapped cosmetic consult and i'm gonna have to drive around in it can you wait can you wrap and unwrap a car yeah yeah i thought once it was done that was it no doll do you not remember my baby blue range rover you never went back you never took it off i didn't you could take it off yeah i thought once it's done it's done of the wrapping especially if you've got your car like on finance then when you go in you say to them and for the 200 quid when i bring it in you'll unwrap it for me i had no idea i thought it was really easy to unwrap they like

spray it put like heat on it wait so wrapping they're not sprayed color i had no idea the good thing about it i might get my nip tuck no i mean would you want to do that i don't know that might be quite cool i think it'd be quite cool um and then when i scratched it and stuff at the end and they like can wrap like the wheels darker and they just went like that so can you wrap it with your own face yeah yeah whatever you fucking wants you could have like fuck you all over it yes i didn't know that but i want mine right now i'm having it white with black i think that'd be lovely oh my god it'll look amazing i just didn't know you could do that on for a bit longer if i don't like it i'll get it off yeah and people will be like right hang on a minute so you know

like when campaigns happen like for example riv riv live with river island and she was on the side of the taxi is that rapping so i could rap myself and pretend i'm important yeah so if we ever had a magazine like i think i could put the front cover or the article across my car yeah and feel really good about it if you really wanted to yeah oh my god crazy right yeah well at the minute i've still not put the e and the v of the whatever the the car man knocked off it so i've not nevermind wrapped it i've not even stuck my letters back on yet so it's probably unlikely that i'm gonna do that i keep looking about a new car you know i think i need to lease one this car have not been great we've not been friends i need to lease one but i don't really know how it works because i

want to just give you the numbers well i want to be able to just pay monthly for it and then give it back and i don't want like i don't want to pay for all the things pivotal pivotal something pivotal right right so basically it's like an app she was showing it me and she's like all you do is say like I want to change my car now and you can literally just hand it back has anyone got any like tips on this because really what I want to do is lease one I pay monthly if something breaks not my problem like I just I'm so stressed with how much I have to pay when it constantly breaks and then I want to give it back after whenever and be like finish now I want to rent a car like is that a thing can someone help me with that right yeah I know but I just don't get

it and i thought it was a lot more expensive right guys so this is what we got through from one of our patreon guys on the chat anyone just feel like life around them is moving on people are getting engaged having babies and i'm just sat waiting for it all and i just feel completely stuck and in a bit of a rut i try not to compare myself to others but when it feels like the next step for you and everyone around you is doing that it's really hard any advice girls and i think that this is a really common thing and the advice that i wanted to give was because i feel like a lot of you will think like this first of all as old and as boring as it is the saying what's meant for you will never pass you by yeah i 100 believe in that and then i actually replied to this to the girl but i thought

it was worth just sharing this little story so when i had just split up with one of my awful exes and Thea was a toddler um my friend was having a gender reveal party thing and me and my mum went over and she was in a lovely home with a partner they had one child they were expecting another all my other friends were there in couples they were having an amazing moment of the life and as happy as I was for them I found it incredibly difficult because that is all I wanted I wanted to be in my I wanted to be in my home with and it was like in winter and I wanted to be there with my husband and my baby you were going home to an empty house yes i was getting excited they were getting excited for the next baby everyone else in couples were putting the babies in the

car together they're all going home together and i look around at my friendship group these are like my closest from from young me after that and you were and i was and i got in the car with my mom and i burst into tears and i was absolutely heartbroken because i was like i just want what they've all got that is all i want right now oh my god imagine how your mom felt i know i know and i was heartbroken i was absolutely heartbroken and i was like i'm gonna go home yeah and i was like i'm gonna go home now with my two-year-old i think she was about two i'm gonna go in the house and i want someone to sit and have tea with me and that is what i desperately wanted and i was devastated and i used to look at all my friends and be like i just want what you guys have anyway

fast forward to let's say last year that not that i would wish this on them they're very both very happy separately but they actually split up last year so this couple that i was so envious of and not envious that's not the right word because i don't take it off them but i just wanted it so bad and this other couple that was there wanted it so bad last year they split up okay really sad but all fine they split up last year i got married last year i had well this year i had a baby last year i got married and i was pregnant now that's not me saying oh look it didn't work for them look at me what i'm saying is that wasn't my time and i felt so envious and actually that didn't end up working out because the grass is not always greener you look at someone else and you think i want to

be like you but you don't know what's going on and my time was having my wedding was having my baby and the time came like four or five years later so it's just like it always resonates with me and sticks with me because i remember it so vividly how devastated i was and i wish someone could hindsight is a beautiful thing and i wish someone could have said to me just listen enjoy it because you think they're doing great they're actually going to split up in a few years and not that i'd want that but you know what i mean they're actually not even going to be together in a few years but you're going to be getting married and having a baby so like your time is coming your happiness and your when it's meant to be it's going to come so just sit in your lane enjoy

what you've got right now and just trust that it's going to come to you so there's my little story so if you are feeling like that just the grass isn't greener and what's meant for you will come to you you just have to believe in the bigger picture I love that Lauren, very poignant, pignant pignant, very poignant so I thought I would end with that for you guys also, can I just say

yes you can, I'm really proud of Patreon I thought you were going to say that me? and my face I'm proud of you as well no I thought it was because I just told that story and then you went I'm really proud of you

I'm really proud and I went please someone get the clip and I went like this and I thought she was going to say a view for how you

and I literally went it was like someone asked for my autograph I'm really proud and I literally went like a little cat and then you went of Patreon

yes I am proud of Patreon it gave I sat on it all night last night I literally before I go on Instagram

on TikTok everything I'm on Patreon on yeah same read it the chats just go on all day like i get tips off them as well so i posted the other day like girls what hugs are we buying i saw that straight away the girls were like i've got this hug picture i've got that or get this size i'd recommend i was like oh i don't need to i don't need to google anymore discount and also bargain when i get when you google you get google's answer when you go on patreon you get girls like you's answer so when you say like what hugs are in

like they're gonna tell you and it's your kind of people like girls has anyone had this done what's the best mascara it's just like so helpful um okay so my lip dissolving blog will be up i'm just waiting for dr nat to do a quick video for me explaining what i've had to put in it um so that'll be up not selfridges doing an azempic bauble oh my god one of the girls has put in patreon there's an azempic bauble in paper that's got to be some people that have got like loads of different trees have like a funny tree i mean i've just got one tree it's a good secret santa gift that yeah it is actually give it to someone who in the office you've suspected being on a zen pic and then but yeah it's very yeah that's that could really hr isn't it could cause

but yeah no patreon honestly and don't forget you get your extra episode on there as well early access to something exciting yeah when we do a show that'll go they'll go straight on there and you know what i gave away a load of my maternity stuff did you say i went through all of stuff and i had honestly about five pairs of maternity leggings five tops really good crazy yoga ones never worn and i thought do you know what rather than going down to the charity shop now we've got loads of pregnant girls on patreon so i just chucked it up there thea picked a random name i'm waiting for her address actually and i'm just gonna post it out and we've done that before haven't we with like products and stuff i'd rather give it to the patreon girls than take it to

can i say something about patreon so i'm part of a facebook community group for another podcast i won't name it but anyone will might know it facebook yeah anyway i'll leave that with you it's a big podcast that community group not kind is toxic yeah i am sick like it is but also viral it's basically like it's like what we have in patreon it's for free it's on facebook and people put advice in there people say stuff and people just jump down are they horrible horrible oh no and the bitch about the girls on the podcast awful awful and then can i just say that our patreon there's no one judges i've never ever seen anyone being asked to anyone on there i haven't and when even when people disagree because honestly we had this one girl and she was like girls i've fallen

out with my boyfriend because of this this and this she didn't want to tell her friends because fair enough and she put like am i being out of order here and actually some of the girls like gonna be honest with you i think you're being a bit out of order and the girl was like needed to hear it thanks girls and like but it wasn't like you horrible cow it was just like oh we get it but you're being a bitch to lose who like the girls giving her that advice oh yeah yeah so you know it's coming from like an unbiased place and i feel like now like this country like there are a lot of fucking not okay people yeah there's a lot going on there's a lot of like jealousy yeah and honestly just remember girls to only take advice off happy people yeah yeah i agree

i agree because really especially in female friendships you can you can get lost in a rabbit hole yeah yeah because all you don't know whether the person's saying don't get that because secretly they are jealous secret haters are everywhere you need to be careful of that guys watch your back watch your back we'll help you that was a long last episode

it was sorry about that and also leave us five stars oh shut up right love you bye love you bye