Nip Tuck - We’re back with a fresh AF new look!

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

Get ready girls because we are BACK! Bigger and badder than ever with a fresh new look. So we have got together to give you a little tease as to what to expect from our new series. We’re talking new goss, new men and new drama!We can’t wait to get started and we want to hear from you about any dilemmas, what’s on your tits and of course your ICKS! To get involved, you can send us a DM, we’re on Instagram and TikTok, find us @niptuckpod. Or you can email [e-mail]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hi guys and welcome back to nip tuck not giving a fuck so my name is ashley and i'm lauren and here we are again things have changed you guys are gonna get more more of everything more in depth more information more episodes yeah um and yeah we've grown up a bit i've not well no as in the podcast i thought you know i was like what shit no i've not no so the podcast had grown up a lot hasn't it it has i think we did the best at the level we were at yeah and we it was our first time and we just ran with it and now we are professional like we didn't even like know that we were gonna do a podcast we just went and did one and then every week we're like shit go again go again now it's like turned into our lives a bit it has it's it's got quite big for us bigger

than we thought yeah so we get bigger and better yeah and like people like have been noticing us in the street and stuff oh my god it's so embarrassing because people are like oh my god i listen to your podcast and straight away i get like flashes in my brain of all the stuff i've said and i go oh hi nice to meet you and i think you know so much about me like i've told my family they aren't allowed to listen so i have made a deal now where my mum doesn't at all because i'll stop saying certain things so she's not allowed to listen she doesn't want to she doesn't give a fuck she doesn't want to listen no well they bred us yeah exactly exactly so yeah we're back and um we can't wait for you guys you guys who am i maybe you've been around me too much

what she's trying to say is we can't wait for you guys to be more involved this is what we want this is a big change isn't it yeah we want you to be more involved you're part of our crew the people that i think listen to the podcast are like us so yeah they wouldn't be listening otherwise no they wouldn't they'd turn it off they'd hear us stupid old bitches at home that want to listen

and then slag us off screaming voices and they'd be like what is this man turn it off but I feel like they like us so we want you more we want your funny stories

because they are hilarious they're hilarious and I've got a lot and Ashley's got a lot but I'm going to run out of my own eventually no you're not

I'll probably just keep making them but we want to know yours we want you more involved yes so as you guys can see we've got a new thumbnail so we did a photo shoot

didn't we? That was so funny wasn't it? That was so funny The photographer was brilliant The photographer It was literally You know like

on Austin Powers I was like wow baby Give it to me love me in it Yeah Oh yeah Austin Powers

was a photographer I've never seen it Oh my god when you watch it it's that man Really? I don't watch films Oh yeah I do

I don't watch telly By ADHD restricts me No yeah yeah he was So we did the shoot yes and we got some new images because basically like our stuff was done like on a budget in limited time so now we're doing everything top like we've got managers and shit like so everything

had to be like overhauled and like on our last picture we didn't we did look like silly young girls and i think that's not what the podcast is about no i mean sometimes we are that we look a bit like so yeah and sometimes we are and that's fine but not just that so we needed to incorporate more of what we are which is a little bit of everything yeah not just one thing like we took the last one we took the last one on a timer against your wall and made it on canva and made it on canva whereas now we've got a photo shoot we've dangled off things for certain angles and we've we've we've changed it up haven't we so it's exciting we've changed it up and we're with like a new production team now and like sick aren't they they're so sick yeah they're really

cool um also our instagram has changed because i didn't know it was shit did you i personally didn't think it was shit same like it was just me and lauren uploading memes well i thought they were funny i like yeah i know but like it was it was let's just say it looked like um we'd been sick on it it was like a jumble sale of shit like my life so now we we're not allowed to post on this we're still can we post this no no it's still us we're still watching it we're still replying to it's still looking at it but we're not throwing up on it anymore i'm bitch we've got tiktok we've got tiktok i have do you know i'm so fucking old i'm so old i'm so old i can't make what are we gonna do on tiktok well someone's gonna have to help us but i think we're gonna

be good at it i have confident we're gonna be good i'm not gonna do it it's gonna be that thing so me and ashley do this thing where i say like what we need to do this we need to passively i go we need to do this or i say i've got an idea we need to and what that means is ashley needs to do this so i'll say it i'm like we need to make a tix actually like you mean i need to be yeah because i don't do much so every week we're gonna have like a certain format aren't we of the show um you guys absolutely loved the ics i love the the best but it doesn't have to be boyfriendic or manic just life ics so like oh cute life ics so just icky things like when somebody touches you in the supermarket and brushes past you and you think yeah like just ics like that

anything that ics you out yeah like crunching yeah i just went on holiday and my friend was really really hungover and i was eating crisps minding my own fucking business with my mouth wide open eating crisps and she was like lauren and she said literally i was making a skin crawl because i was oh my god and i gave her the ick so just things like that we love an ick yeah love love love an ick so like you guys send as many icks in as possible i feel like we started an ick thing you know we did because we did the ick episode and then all of these people started doing icks yeah and i was like fuck off yeah well we are like the og ick so yeah anyway send us in your icks i can't wait to hear all of the icks yeah and also tits we love tits what's getting on them

yeah because every week like we want you guys to send in like a voice note send in a story um what's getting on your tits this week and because now we're out twice a week it's going to be very current affair yes so like i was saying to lauren this morning rebecca vardy's getting on my tits well i think she's getting on everyone's she's getting on colleen's yeah exactly colleen won didn't she yes she how did tell me what i've not followed it that closely I'm going to be honest, I bet you have, you fucking boring bitch. Well, actually, our producers make the podcast. Should I know that?

The Wagguffer Christie podcast. I should definitely know that. I've been listening to that. She gives updates every week. So can you tell me a little, give me a little update? So Colleen's won. So that means, from what I think, that Rebecca Vardy has to pay all the legal fees,

which total like three million quid. But it's not even about that. I would assume that they've got a lot of money. So it's not even about that, although it probably stings. I think it's more about... So has she now... She thought she was going to win. So is it almost now like it has now been proven

that she did what... Is that what it is? Babe, like, but I don't think she realised that by going to court, they can go through your full phone. And, like, the messages that have come out, like, she seems like a really mean girl. She should have just said...

She's not a nipper. Not a nipper. She should have just said to Colleen, sorry, babes. That's all Colleen wanted from the beginning. however if Colleen did she not come at her

with a court case so then she had to be like okay let's go Rebecca was the one that went to Colleen stop why would you do that if it was you

don't know you just keep your head down for a bit so this is the kind of thing of like what's getting on your tits this week it might have been something your husband's done

it might be like I don't know what to do in this situation kind of thing because we love answering like your questions and advice yeah I like to give advice

we've both got very different opinions yeah on things haven't we which is always good yeah and also my favourite thing

in the whole world is embarrassing stories embarrassing stories please still send them in especially sex ones yeah I've actually got a few that have happened to me recently

oh yeah so you're having sex I don't want to talk about it so yeah send in all your embarrassing stories

and then also like next week when we get into the full swing of things this is a bit of like our Instagram this episode isn't it

it's our old Instagram it's a bit of a look we've got some really exciting things to talk about haven't we yes we certainly have

I've had some surgery done can you tell the difference no right so next week I will fully go into detail on what I've had done I can't tell well I have had stuff done

I know but that must be good though like it looks natural listen I would rather that than me be like gee yeah I can tell no you don't

you don't want to meet someone and know that you've had that surgery so I think that's a good thing I think you look amazing but would I say

oh my god she absolutely has had XY done I'll tell you what I've had done yeah she's gonna tell us what she's had done and then I'll explain

why I can't tell exactly but I wouldn't I wouldn't mind it also I have been filming for a reality TV proof

I keep saying Ashley's gonna be famous and I'm gonna ride the back of Ashley's fame I'm gonna ride bareback on Ashley's fame I've got really bad anxiety about it because i have absolutely no control over the edit yeah but you are you

we don't when we do these podcasts yeah we don't edit them really unless we've said something like literally horrific or said someone's name we don't take stuff out so it's just gonna be you so we'll fill you in on all of that yes that's exciting that's exciting for me as well because i literally feel like this is amazing yeah also lauren has got a love life update i don't know if i want to talk about that yeah well we'll find out next week we've yeah i don't know we'll see yeah yeah i know there is there is up there is an update we've discovered some very funny websites really funny it funnier than what was the crab one revenge the revenge the crab revenge yeah so we've got like any like rabbit holes you end up in like please yeah send them over how you found

yourself there so there's loads of ways that you can get in touch with us and contribute towards the show we want you guys to contribute literally as much as possible we need you to be part of this now this is one of the things when we were like right we're moving forward this is one of the things we wanted isn't it we wanted more community yeah yeah because it's i love it and you feel normal and i think we're making other women feel normal as well yes so say that this is a big thing everyone thinks but doesn't say exactly do you know i know i digress but dead quick you know the bacterial vaginosis the um the bv gel stuff so they told us that they sold absolutely loads and i've had so many people that have come to me said thank you for talking about the bv hat

because they didn't know about the bv hack and just using it as just like a freshen up as in a lube nobody knew about this and we've had so many people come out and i just think that's a really positive movement the bv movement no one wants a smelly fanny do they absolutely but yeah we've done hashtag bv hashtag movement hashtag fish fanny movement and we've done really well i think so that kind of thing community talking about things where people will learn from us yes exactly sorry where were you anyway the ways that you can get in touch is on our socials so it's at nip tuck pod on instagram and tiktok tiktok we've also got an email address we have got an email address and that is hello at nittookpod.com so you can email us there um the problem that we had

with the dms i think they were getting so many flooded yeah so it started like we were getting a few dms and we could reply to them and i we literally replied to every single one oh you did i did actually fucking didn't i replied to everyone's um but we started doing that and then we started like making screenshots of them to talk about in the pod yeah it was getting a bit much no so if we've got help with our dms and we've got emails i just think it's just easier for us to keep in contact with you guys and talk about

your problems and stuff like that your problems problems so yeah we're back we're back no you need to be more

we're back I'm sorry it's the room it's freaking me out it's like so dingy and like they can't eat a fucking coffee or a vodka

do you remember when we got pissed on that one that was really bad should we get pissed again yeah okay well let's let's do that

we have got loads of stuff to update everyone on but you know what also i want to talk about i've read that christine quinn book if you quote one more thing from that fucking book she'll be we'll be talking and she'll be like and she'll like i am happy i am healthy i am wealthy i am a boss bitch you're annoying that's what i say every day when i get in the car I am tired I am grumpy I've had too much coffee my kids are fucking dick

but we move we move baby are we going to talk about our kids we never talk about those if we want to if we want to mine's cute

whatever so yeah that's what we've got coming up so so so so right

we I'm being really serious you're being really weird today because you're in a new like environment i feel we i don't know where to put myself i will calm down but yeah i feel like i just need to like you won't break my soul you won't break my soul let's have a drink next time no because you remember when we got pissed that's when i got my arsehole out to you

on the sex files we weren't sober then well it'll be recorded so there is something that i want to say if you are new listeners because don't forget we're assuming that people have been listening all along they go back and listen from the beginning let me tell you why you need to go back i'm going to give you a few things that you missed if you don't go back um ashley once sharted herself in selfridges i um once got caught looking at dick pictures next to my dying grandma in hospital i once had an engagement thrown out the window and then went on the road with a metal detector the next day there are stories yeah upon stories that you have fucking missed so if you're the first time like catch up catch up because i'm not going to tell them again to speed baby although i

feel like some of them need we need to bring the recycle yeah we need to recycle because they're so fucking funny yeah they go back now also in a very i'm being really serious now on a serious note if you want us to keep going if you want us to see us do well which i know you do because you're part of our wheels moving what's that song anyway if you want to keep us moving the way to do that five star reviews if you're getting down baby yeah like and leave it like leave us some feedback girls i say girls girls and boys would you get boys listening um i think we should get more boys because i think this could be a platform for us to teach men things oh my god yeah but do we want the boys listening if it involves where

to find your clitoris then yeah yeah true so I feel like rubbing the pubic bone has got to end why do they do that you're literally like

no no anyway so or the machine gun finger no we're not doing that

so I think we should maybe do an episode where we're going to teach boys some things that they didn't know I would love to get more men involved in the actual episode

well no we've got those blowjob books that we need to read as well yes left at my house right okay Anyway, keep digressing. My point is, listen to the old stories, review us,

keep us going, help us out, nips. Nippers, nipples, nips. Yeah, we love you guys. Because I know that you want to see us do well, which is the nicest fucking thing. Yes, and subscribe. So basically, we're going to be every Wednesday coming out. I don't think we've decided when the second one is yet.

And is it going to be like a mini or a full? A mini is a mini, yeah. So if you subscribe, though, as soon as this shit drops, then you can listen. Yeah. You get the tea first. Like, I am just so excited for it. I'm bubbling with our verbal diarrhea

and we're like trying to hold it all in. But yeah, we're back and thank you so much, guys, for listening. And for waiting. Waiting. And also, please share this. Yes. So you need to share it.

If you don't share it, then you're not a nip. We get a boner when we get that notification on our Instagram that someone shared it. I get a full on wide on. Same.

As soon as it was like, and someone will say, like random, we keep getting people listening. So we've not been on air for how long now? A few months. A while.

And people are still listening every week and people are still randomly sharing which means somebody's randomly found us or the friends they're not like

old listeners and it's exciting. It's so exciting. And people have re-listened to us and stuff. It's so cute. So we have got some really exciting

stuff coming and we can't wait to involve you guys to share it and to just get bigger better harder and

throbbier more in a very clear I'm talking about something else. yeah wow i don't know why i did that anyway okay bye