NO FOMO - 10.The Cum Powered Car

Episode Date: April 27, 2022

Welcome Back Fomo Sapiens. Apologies for missing a week, we were fighting off our post-Coachella demons, so we made sure to go 10x as hard for Episode 10. Huge Shoutout to everyone that's tuned in thus far. Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO.    To Submit to the Show message us on Instagram linked below! Fomo: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fomomusic_/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/fomomusic_ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/6K4rA9ocjtIaTOEVZ4N6dX?si=Gqh12elJQYO_zfRaW-Q9Lw&nd=1 Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/wearefomomusic

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to your favorite show on the interwebs. It's No FOMO. We are very sorry for missing last week. We have a pretty valid excuse. I don't think my hangover from Coachella subsided until today. Oh, it's full-on brain damage. And it was two weeks ago. So, due to the state of our brains,

we had to go ahead and just call in sick last week. So, the beauty of being our own boss is we just rescheduled for this week. this week and we're just going to have to go twice as hard. We're going to, we're going to absolutely. So I figured we'd give them a little recap of what the fuck happened to us. A little rundown. Okay. So yeah, we've had two back to back, I'd say absurd weekends starting with Coachella. Um, which I don't, I'm not even sure I saw you the whole weekend and we were staying in the same house. Yeah. Yeah. But you were... Oh, it started out with, I threw up immediately when I got there.

You had another bad shot? Another bad shot. It happens occasionally. I loved bad shot, Morg. Oh my God. The first time, where were we at when you did that? Vegas. We were in Vegas.

First shot, we get to the hotel, he opens up the ball, takes a shot, and he just goes... Because he acts like he goes so hard, and then he'll have these moments of just pure weakness sometimes. Yeah, we like ordered the Uber and then I go to check

for like three shots in a row and I'm just like, oh, there it goes. There it goes. Yeah, like we got, I think it was like the first or second night when we got home from Coachella,

you like bet me to do something and you're like, okay, if you do it, I'll shotgun two beers in a row. Does it and immediately runs outside like acting all hard like, oh yeah. Just hammers down two beers and immediately row, does it, and immediately runs outside, like, acting all hard, like, oh, yeah.

Just hammers down two beers and immediately just jacking in the bathroom. But other than that... What was your favorite set at Coachella? And I'm just genuinely curious if you can even remember someone you saw. No, so I did have a conversation. I did have a conversation with Isaac afterwards,

and I couldn't really put together five whole people that I saw. And we saw 20, at least. It's mostly because when you don't sleep that much, I just forget, but now it comes back to me. It's coming back now. So Swedish House does fire. But we got to talk about how they fucked it up, like straight up.

You don't put the weekend after a fucking house act. They did, you know, Kanye didn't make it. He backed out. So they did Swedish House Mafia and The Weeknd like as a co-headliner. I thought it was going to be like a combination show. Like they were going to do a bunch of songs together. But it was 30 minutes of Swedish House,

condensed it down to half as long as it was supposed to be. And then The Weeknd just comes on for an hour. And I'm just sitting there the whole time waiting and waiting for them to come back out. And I got swindled into seeing a fucking hour of The Weeknd, who, I mean, I'm just not a fan of, sorry. Yeah, it just, it wasn't the vibe. I mean, like, I would see a couple songs of his.

I like his music, but I'm not trying to, I would never volunteer to see a set of his. It's just not. Did he do the little dress-up thing? Did he come out in the face stuff or? No, he was in standard garb. He was looking pretty fresh. But, like, it was just,

it was banging fucking Swedish House Mafia and then, like, put me in standard garb. He was looking pretty fresh. But like, it was just, it was banging fucking Swedish House Mafia and then like put me in a fucking cradle and rock me to bed with The Weeknd. It was very, it was the last set of The Weeknd. So like I was ready to go off in. I wanted to be blinding by lights, but not the song. Yeah. So yeah, I'd say Flume was incredible.

Swedish House was awesome. Hayden James was one of my highlights for sure. But, yeah, I had an absolute fucking blast. We need to talk about the— I want to hear about this most recent weekend. Yeah, no, we're getting there. Oh, we're getting there. I don't know if you remember this.

I mean, you definitely do, but you probably forgot. The girl with the fucking triple Z titties that we saw. Oh, my God. Literally two basketballs. No, bro. I'm not kidding. Like bigger than a cantaloupe. Yeah.

And Garrett goes, what's the nicest way to ask for a picture? Dude, I was like, if we got a pic with her, that would blow the fuck up. I'm not kidding you. Her entire torso was boobs. It was so fucked.

I'm assuming these are not real ones. No, hell no. No, no, no. And she was like the tiniest five four like how about skinniest little like asian girl with the most massive fucking like uh like there's no reaction we're talking about we're like there's no reaction other than to just laugh like they're not like attractive looking they're obscene there's so many things you can't do with boobs that big yeah Yeah. Like, yeah, you can't

do, you can't get off the ground really. We were with a group of, like, strangers that had, like, gathered in the vicinity just to, like, get a closer look. Oh, we had a herd. We had, like, 20 people. 20 people that were all just behind her. Like, you could see them from behind her, like, where they're back to you. They were hanging

out, like, this far to the side. And we had, like, a legitimate group of people just standing, like, holy fuck, like, all talking to each other. I heard a couple different groups say, like where they're back to you. They were hanging out like this far to the side. And we had like a legitimate group of people just standing like, holy fuck, like all talking to each other. I heard a couple different groups say like, oh, we need a pic. Yeah, dude, I wanted to get a picture so badly. What did you come up with for a good way to ask? Oh, I was like, there's no good way.

I was like, dude, it's just too out of pocket. But at the same time, she has to get that all the time. Yeah, she probably would have been down for it. That's why you get them, right? Right? So we should have gotten a picture. I don't know. We were overthinking the shit out of it.

But so fast forward to this most recent weekend. First of all, the hangover from Coachella probably ended Thursday. I'd say Friday morning was the first time I felt like a human. Yeah, I don't know what it was, but there's something about my eyes that were just heavy for the whole week. Dude, I could not keep them open. It was fucked up. Like I actually had to like hold them with my fingers.

It was fucked. Just look at my computer. So we got for sure brain damage. Yeah, no, we're damaged. So and then last weekend we had three shows, two red eye flights. Back to back.

Just back to back to back to back. Yeah, so we played a show on Friday night and we played till like midnight. I have a highlight for this if you. Oh yeah, yeah, go ahead. Yeah. So we're like walking around.

It's like dark as fuck. It's like a sleep Go ahead. Yeah. So we're like walking around. It's like dark as fuck. It's like a sleepaway festival type thing. And we're like walking through the campground. A sleepaway? You mean a camping festival? Yeah, camp. Sleepaway.

Sleepaway. We're going to camp. We're staying the night. So I was driving. So Garrett took the liberty and got fucked up enough for the both of us. And we're walking through in the dark. He certainly did. And I'm like, do you know where you are?

And he's like, not really. And I was like, do you want to hold my hand? So me and him are just holding hands. Because I was kind of like guiding the way, but I didn't know where I was going. So he was kind of like just letting me go for a second. He's like, do you have any idea where you're going? I was like, nope.

He's like, you want to hold my hand? I was like, yep. So that went really well. Yeah, so we left that at like 2 a.m., went back to my place. I slept for like one hour. You didn't sleep at all. Yeah, I was afraid we weren't going to make it to the flight.

Yeah, I think if we both fell asleep, we wouldn't have woken up because I did not hear my alarm or anything. And then we went to the airport at like, what, 3 a.m.? Our flight was at 5? 4.30-ish. Yeah, had a red-eye flight, fucking flew to Salt Lake City.

Was there for like two and a half hours. Then flew to Washington State to play a show at a fraternity. And like one of the kids that goes to the school picked us up with like a fucking couple twisted teas. He got you twisted up with some malt tea? At 10 a.m. I was like, yes, baby.

And we had a fucking blast there. That college town is, it's one of the coolest college towns I've ever been to. Yeah. It's in the middle of bum fuck nowhere. The only thing there

is literally the college. So every like bar is just like a college bar. Every fucking building is like student housing. All the fraternities are like all on the same street. You could walk everywhere.

You could walk everywhere was a five minute walk. Yeah. Like across the entire campus or whatever. And yeah, those guys fucking party. Yeah. Like, across the entire campus or whatever. And yeah, those guys fucking party. Yeah. They kept up with us. Or, I don't know. Did we keep up with them? No, we definitely

kept up. Yeah. So that was a blast. And then we opted to not get a hotel after that and stayed at the after party till like 3 a.m. and then went straight back to the airport for another 5 a.m. flight. Jesus Christ. So we slept.

The only time I slept was on the two flights. So I think I got three hours of sleep between. Oh, and then we got back and played a show yesterday in the afternoon at 2 p.m. Yes, that's correct.

That was good. But I don't feel bad. No. I'm back in action. You look bad. I think if you just keep the tempo that high, you adapt.

Yeah. So like this weekend, I don't think we get to take a weekend off. I think if, unless we want to lose our stamina, we kind of have to go. You guys are going to be set back. Yep.

So yeah, that was our shit show the last two weeks. And, uh, we're back in action, baby. That was a tough two weekends. Two weekends without my boys.

Yeah, bro. I had to go to, I had to go to mom cell instead of Coachella. Brutal. Just hang out with the moms for Easter. Did you, you and Molly went up there? No. Well, she went to her, she went of Coachella. Brutal. Just hang out with the moms for Easter. Did you and Molly went up there?

No. Well, she went to her place. Oh, okay. Yeah. Hanging out with Morg's mom, my mom, just a hell of a time. Yeah. It's always a hoot with the ladies. But, you know, I'm going to burn down a little bit this upcoming weekend.

I'm going to the country Coachella. You're going to stagecoach. Stagecoach. I'm going to fucking rip it down. You're going to thrive there. I'm going to yeehaw my ass off. You're going to absolutely thrive. Yeah, that's my spot, man. You're going to tear it up spot man i gotta make it to that some year but here's the thing so i was

trying to get molly to go she's like i don't really like country music i'm like it's not country music it's just a danger yeah yeah it's it's like a fourth of july danger three days in a row and you just like if you love country it's probably an added element yeah like you don't have to it doesn't matter. Because I fucking hate country. But like, I could do a day party with some country music playing in the background.

Yeah, exactly. That's all it is. And that's just like, it's just a completely different vibe. There's people. Everyone's got their shirt off. People are throwing shit. The vibe is just different

because no one's, not a lot of people are on like drugs and shit. They're just fucking off my lights. It's just everyone's off fucking 25 beers since 10 a.m. That sounds funny. Just stumbling around. It's a good ass time. We'll have to run lights. It's just everyone's off fucking 25 beers since 10 a.m. That sounds fun. Just stumbling around.

It's a good ass time. We'll have to run that. And you get to bring an RV to that one. Coachella, you don't get to bring an RV. Yeah, we're RVing it up. We're going to bring

Kitty Pool. Yep. Kitty Pool is super sober as I have it. Yeah, you're going to have to make up for lost time. Oh, I'm going to make up.

So we don't get to hang out with you this weekend either? No, or the weekend after that. What the fuck? Shame. I'm going to make up. So we don't get to hang out with you this weekend either? No, or the weekend after that. What the fuck? Shame. I'm going to Cabo after that.

What? For what? I get back Monday from Stagecoach and then I'm going straight to Cabo. Just a little vacation or what? A little vacation

with the best. Nice. You dog, bro. Fuck. And then we got the Clarice wedding after that. Oh my God. Yes.

That'll be a big reunitement. It's going to be a big couple weeks. That's going to be. is that in three weeks? That's three weeks, yeah. What do you got for us, Margie? We got to talk about fake news of the week. Oh, we got to do fake news.

We also got to do, Garrett Segi is next, always. Well, no, so we're going to do, Garrett's Gossip is like the last of the intro. It's the end portion of the intro. Oh, so fake news is now part of the intro. Yeah, so fake last of the intro. It's the end portion of the intro. Oh, so fake news is now part of the intro. Yeah, so fake news of the week. We got Elon Musk releases the first cum-powered car. The first. We saw this on Instagram,

and I think we had a 25-minute group text conversation about this. And this whole morning, we've just been singing jingles. Yeah. The cum-powered car. Some shit just, it just clicks so much with our absolutely infant sense of humor that it's just, we can't stop talking about it. Well, here's the thing, though.

When you read it, it does kind of seem like he could do it. Like, he can buy Twitter. What can't he do? Yeah, I mean, he could definitely, I think that's possible. My shit could definitely power something. If it could make a life, it could drive a car. I think it said it was like 100 gallons per,

or 100 miles per load, MPLs. 100 miles? Is that the average load or my load? Because I'm getting at least 200. Yeah, my guys are, if it's based on the speed of the swimmers, then mine's going to be. They swim through the engine to power the car. Let's just say we could get from here to Vegas.

Easily, on one tank. On one tank. On one dump. Jesus Christ. There he goes. The only thing we need is a bottle of lotion and we're off to the moon, baby. Yeah, they drove to the moon, bitches.

Lana Rhodes announces her return. Jesus Christ. So yeah, we're definitely waiting for that. Yeah. Imagine, yeah. The release for that. Yeah. Imagine... The release is big. You won't see a single Tesla on the road after the ComPower car.

After the ComPower car? Yeah. It's going to be huge. Imagine a gas station. Your chicken owns it, and you just pull into a gas station, and a guy just... I become the single largest energy provider in the world.

Garris Oil. GP Oil. But speaking of Elon Musk, he fucking bought Twitter. Yeah, which is fucking wild, which I'm hyped about. Yeah. I kind of didn't know

it was possible. Yeah. I didn't know it was possible. He bought it and then he took it private. So you can't, the stocks, they paid out,

they cashed out everyone's stock. Everyone got like $42 and that's it. He owns it privately really? yeah it's not traded anymore oh you can do it that quick? I know they were talking about it

he literally took it off the market already I don't understand like the stock is just gone see this is where I remember there was like that article out that he's now the richest person in the world like thing

and I was like oh okay like Bezos is also pretty rich but he's like if you could just buy something for $47 billion and still be fine dude I think he's coming up on like being twice as rich as Jeff Bezos he's pretty rich but he's like if you could just buy something for 47 billion dollars and still be fine dude I think he's coming up on

like being twice as rich as Jeff Bezos he's gonna be the first trillionaire within the next like four years I think they said trillion how many billions are in trillion? thousand

thousand? yeah dude he's fucking murdering it so I'm pretty sure you could fill up the whole earth with a trillion dollars something like that like if it was in like ones

that's like our budget right? oh he is the budget yeah yeah just ask him for a loan dude I wouldn't be surprised if we had Musk bills at some point. Yo, why is he not the president? He's not making bills. He's making coins, dude.

Oh, Musk coin? Musk coin? Dude, I love that guy. So many people were talking shit about him buying Twitter. Yeah. I was like, I don't get how you can not like him. Like some of his antics are absurd. Yeah.

Like everything he does is to like make life better for people. Yeah, Twitter's absurd. Like, I mean. Yeah. But he's like trying to,'s trying to get rid of us being dependent on fucking gas. He's trying to take us back to space. He's trying to

fucking get us to interplanetary living. Everything he's doing is just trying to advance humanity. He's the man. There's so many people talking about deactivating their Twitter account. What the fuck are you talking about? It's the same as the, I'm going to move to Canada if Trump gets elected.

Yeah, I saw someone tweet, I'm going to move to Canada if Elon buys Twitter. Yeah, it's fucking the same shit. Fucking idiots. Okay, so I do have one more thing that I really need to get to the bottom of. I'm excited for this. So cave crawlers on TikTok, are you guys familiar?

Spelunkers, they're called, yeah. Oh, fuck that. It's called spelunking. Okay, first of all, why do my hands fucking sweat every goddamn time? Dude, it's so anxiety-inducing to watch. What is the fun of that? That's the same as the people who climb fucking mountains without rope. Oh, and they do like backflips on millions?

But that's like at least exhilarating. They climb like the people who do like free solo. They just climb fucking with no rope, just their hands. It's like, okay, yeah, cool, you can do it. At least that's exciting. But you could die just the same. Oh, yeah, no, definitely you could die. But, like, that's, like, exhilarating.

I can see getting a rush out of that. Jumping in a little hole that you might not be able to get out of. I just don't know. It's pretty much just, like, your family has to do that, and then there's no other way. Well, also, it's such a specific thing, because, like, you have to be, like, 5'2", 85 pounds. To slide in those little holes.

To even be able to do it. Like, what are you expecting to go right? That's like their flex. It's like a flex. Yeah, it's just like... It's just like, I am small enough. That shit does fuck me up, though, when they do where they have to breathe out

while they're crawling through shit. Oh, yeah. Because they have to make their chest smaller. Yeah. And so the guy's just taking a little choppy. Yeah, like literally expelling every tiny bit of oxygen out. And I start breathing like that while I'm watching it. It's so fucking stressful.

Yeah, my hands just sweat all over my fucking phone every time I watch that show. And like what? It's got to be disgusting in those things. We just don't need it. No one needs to be doing that. Completely unnecessary. Okay.

That'll just, let's get into Garrett's gossip then. You want some gossip? I hope to God you brought the gossip that I think you're going to bring. We have a couple good things this week. Yeah. First thing I just can't get off my mind is the Johnny Dab Amber Heard trial.

Yes, thank God. I was loving it. I've been living for these fucking videos that they're posting of Johnny, dude. It's the best thing to happen on the internet in quite some time, I think. Oh, easily. Dude, he is so fucking, like, just funny and nonchalant

about everything. It's just absolutely classic. I love how they have on the videos, it's just after he says something, it's just courtroom laughs. Dude, he just literally had the room roaring at a couple of them. The mega pint of wine, I was done.

Oh, yeah, the mega pint. You poured yourself a mega pint? He's like, I mean, it was a very large glass of wine. I'm like, what? The guy's like reading the text. He said, and then I poured myself a mega pint. The cocaine question, what was it? It was like, did you have cocaine in the box?

He's like, I can't speak for that, but it looks like cocaine. The box could fit some cocaine. And then like, I haven't dove like super deep into it, but like, just what is going on with the poop thing and shit? Oh, I've been, so I'm so glad you brought this up because I have fully dove into this.

You're the poop police? I have been on this. So the poop thing is, they got in some fight and he got a text from his housekeeper where she was only staying there that there was a shit on the bed and she sent a picture of it to him which happens which i guess i guess she tried to blame it on the dogs but the housekeeper was like that's a human that's a human shit yeah

that's a brand new invention of the term shitting the bed which brings me to the best point of this whole um thing is they've filmed Johnny Depp when he's on the stand and they always have a camera on her. Oh yeah. And her reactions to everything are unreal. Dude, it's just insane. Like, I couldn't imagine having like that, no pun intended, dirty of laundry aired out in front

of everybody. Oh my god. Nobody really wins. Full pun intended. Yeah, nobody really wins. She's fucked. She's so fucked. I mean, I don't know. No one's going to win this. What is the actual, it's just, he's suing her

for defamation. So he's suing her and then she's counter suing. Okay. For what though? On what grounds? So Brad Pitt, or I mean not Brad Pitt,

Johnny Depp. Same. Whatever, same guy. Same guy. He's suing because when she said all this stuff about him being horrible, he lost out on like

a bunch of movies. Yeah, for sure. Like they canceled, they like postponed a Pirates movie, all this shit. Oh, yeah. He's like, I lost movies because of these false claims. And then she's saying that since he sued her, she's like losing out on money also because of the movies. Which is, in reality, yeah,

if you guys talk shit about each other, it's going to happen. No one wants to deal with your bullshit. That's just... But yeah, who's winning here? There's something big to break down here. So it had to have been on purpose, right? Because you're not just naked and then squeeze it out.

Oh, no, no, no. It was on top of a maid bed. Oh, yeah. On top of a maid bed. Oh, no. She took a shit on the bed. Yeah, it wasn't like she accidentally shit the bed. It was like...

What stance do you think she went with? Like a kneeling? I think it's only bird squat. I think you got the power squat. You know what I mean? I think it's only bird squat. I think you got a power squat, you know what I mean? I think she T-boated out. She T-boated?

Yeah. Yeah, so that's been incredibly entertaining. Real fun. I love following you They just had a real big drop on it today. They played the recording

of after she threw the bottle at him. Oh, I heard about this. And he lost the tip of his finger or whatever. And they played the video and he's like, Amber, you literally threw a bottle at him. Oh, I heard about this. And he lost, like, the tip of his finger or whatever. And they played the video, and he's like, he's like, Amber, you literally threw a bottle at me today. Like, I lost a finger.

And she's like, oh, go ahead, Johnny. Go ahead and try and tell people that I was the person who did this. See if people believe you. And she's just like, oh, my God. How did they get so many, I mean, the text message is obviously that's easy to get, but they have so many, like, recordings and shit. Because she recorded him. Oh, yeah, she would just, like, post it on the phone. obviously that's easy to get, but they have so many like recordings and shit. She recorded him

like, so his whole premise of this is like, she was trying to do this from an early stage in our relationship. She was trying to get ammo. She was trying to like, concoct this story about him. Clearly, if she was like recording all this. Yeah, and so there's so many conversations where she's like trying to egg him like they were playing the tapes and she's like,

she's like, I just want to hear you say it, Johnny. I want to hear you say this. Oh my god. And he's like doesn't say it and she just like keeps egging it so like he probably said something and then she hits record and she's like say it again yeah yeah or or she's just like she's like i want to hear you say that you're like you're you'd like hate me or what like just trying to egg him into saying stuff i mean yeah there's a lot on both sides a lot of ammo but one of the some of the messages he said are fucking gnarly. Yeah. But he's like talking to like,

he's like talking to like one of his friends or like her sister or something and he just says some gnarly shit. He says the whore who I donated my cum to.

I wasn't going to say him. Whoa, bro. Maybe she had the first cum power car. Ooh. Maybe he was donating some fuel. Some CPL.

Yeah. Cum for later? I don't even know. Yeah, was donating some fuel. Some CPL. Come for later? I don't even know. Yeah, so we'll be following along with that. Oh, I can't. I literally wake up every morning

and I watch it live. It's so exciting. Oh, it's because it's like literally on TikTok. I can watch it live, yeah. Oh, it's on TikTok? Live on TikTok, yeah.

God, I love the internet. All right, this isn't even an article. I just, I was shuffling through Cosmopolitan looking for some updated celebrity news

and there's just a headline that says, it's Shakira season and I couldn't, I was shuffling through Cosmopolitan looking for some updated celebrity news, and there's just a headline that says, it's Shakira season, and I couldn't... I just had to read it out loud. I appreciate that. It's just like, they just did like a fucking cover article with her or whatever, but the sub-headline is, the voice, the hips, the hair.

There's so much about Shakira that could never be replicated, and yet she's still reinventing herself. I just had to read that. Okay, other gossip news. It's Shakira season? It's Shakira season, apparently, bro. Fuck, dude. I was just scrolling.

I go, I need to say that out loud. Talk like that. That was pretty good. Talk like that. That was pretty good. Fuck. And then more gossip. We got Megan Thee Stallion finally addresses the Tory Lanez shooting

where he shot her in the foot. You guys remember this story? I do. So she actually talked about it live on TV. Apparently they were like really good friends. That's why she didn't like turn them in or anything. She said she like stepped on glass. We're like, there's a bullet in your foot.

I guess they were leaving a party. I stepped on a bullet. The story is like absurd. They were just leaving a party at Kylie Jenner's's house and she was the only one that wanted to leave was a car full of people and then they're like yelling at each other in the car just like arguing being friends like i don't want to fucking leave like you're being lame whatever then all of a sudden like pulls his gun out like tells her to get out of the car and he's yelling like dance bitch and shooting at her feet And he shoots her in the fucking foot.

Oh, my God. That's what happened. Yeah. How absurd is that, bro? I would have been dancing so hard. And she didn't press charges. Yeah, so I don't know, like, because I know, like, I don't think she even has to press charges for him to get in trouble because that's a crime against, like, the state.

Like, that's a— Oh, no, she doesn't. He's going to get in trouble. Because now that she told the truth, he's fucked, right? Yeah. Yeah, because before she just never said. No, no, the state presses charges. Yeah. Because you can't shoot somebody. Yeah, if it's like— You can't, like, fire's fucked, right? Yeah. Yeah, because before she just never said. No, no, the state press charges. Yeah.

You can't shoot somebody. Yeah, if it's like, that makes sense. That makes sense. Yeah. I'll roll with that. Like assault's different with like your fists,

I'm pretty sure. Yeah, domestic violence is different. You can choose to not press charges because it's only like a crime against you, but if you fire a gun outside,

I'm pretty sure that's like a state or federal crime. Yeah, I can see that. That's against the rules. Yeah. Shooting at someone, whether it's your friend or not. You probably, yeah, because you, I mean see that. That's against the rules. Yeah. Shooting at someone, whether it's your friend or not. You probably, yeah,

because you, I mean, that could just hit anybody, you know? Yeah. He also probably wasn't even allowed to be having a gun. Also, there's a good chance. I would have loved to see

him go to dance for that, though. Yeah, right? Like, what kind of moves was he expecting her to bust out? Or what did she do? Yeah, what she didn't do the right way. Maybe she danced too hard.

She might have just misstepped and, like, he shot and she... It's on her. Yeah, what, what, she didn't do the right one. Maybe she danced too hard. She might've just misstepped and like, he shot and she. It's on her. Yeah, it's on her. That's what I got for this week's gossip. All right. That's some good shit. Then let's get straight into,

I feel like we got a lot of candidates for this down bad of the week. Yeah, I mean, I was just going to kind of segue right into Amber Heard. Yeah, that was mine. Amber Turd is for sure. Yeah. I have, I think my highlight was when the judge asked Johnny Depp,

Mr. Depp, you're a fairly bigger size than Miss Hurd, correct? And he replied, I wouldn't say that. Which is actually true. He's like 5'7". Oh, no, he's not a big guy. He's like a thin, shorter guy. Yeah, and then the replay on her face during that, I was just like, oh, God.

To be fair, along with that, the down baddest of the week could just be her lawyer. Yeah, the lawyer's a fucking clown, bro. I don't know how, how are you that rich and you get someone that incompetent? Well, some people just don't get like the like type of scenario they're being involved with. Because like, if you're an attorney,

you're not dealing with like fuck holes like Johnny Depp. I feel like it's a pretty unique case. And you're not dealing with like fuck holes like Johnny Depp. I feel like it's a pretty unique case. And you're not dealing with it being like filmed usually. And it's usually,

the content usually probably isn't objectively like funny as fuck. Yeah, true. Like it's not very often you're bringing up cocaine in the courtroom and laugh,

and the whole court laughs. Yeah. Or like pouring yourself a mega pint. Did you hear when he objected to his own question? No. The lawyer asked

some guy, he's like, did you know that Johnny Depp got his finger question? No. The lawyer asked some guy, he's like, did you know that Johnny Depp got his finger hurt? And he's like, oh yeah, I heard from the doctor that he got the top of his, he's like, oh, objection, hearsay. And the judge is like, you asked the question. Shut the fuck up.

And he's like, oh, oh yeah, okay, okay, go ahead and answer. Oh my God, no. And you're just like, they cut to Johnny Depp and his lawyer and they're cracking up laughing. You asked the question, sir. Leading the witness. You are the one talking.

Yeah, I was like, holy shit. That's way too good. Yeah, I'd say it's either Amber or her lawyer. Probably Amber because she hired that lawyer. Yeah, I think so. And because everyone found out that she took a shit on her husband's bed. Yeah. What movie is she in next?

Bro, can you name a movie she's ever been in? She's in Aquaman is the only one I know. Is she? I missed that one. She's one of the chick leads in that.

Chick. Well, I don't think she'll be getting much work very soon. So we got a new sub-seggy here. We're going to do For the Girls and For the Boys. Okay.

Every week. So we're going to start with For the Girls. And first up, we got non-sexual things that girls do that make guys horny. Okay. Are we rapid-firing this

or are we just going around? I guess we can just go around. My first one was just existence. When they exist, I like that. That'll do it. My first one was not laughing at Garrett's jokes. Okay, well, that's... That is... I'm almost bricked up just with you saying that. Okay, well, that's... That is...

I'm almost bricked up just with you saying that. Well, that never happens, so you must... I had another one. I had look at me. Yeah. Or touching me in any way whatsoever. I had breathing as another one of mine. That was my next one.

My next one was breathing. Walking, standing. Running, sitting. I did have one actual one. I have an actual one. An actual one? Only one real one. My actual one is anytime a girl has to get on their tippy toes to reach something.

Oh, that's adorable. That one makes me horny. That's so cute. That makes me different, dude. I was going to say that there's a lot that are just so cute. I wouldn't say it necessarily makes me horny. That's fair. You know, I like when they like twiddle their hair.

You know? Yeah, that's fair. They're just sitting there. I got holding on to one finger or less than the whole hand. Of yours? Like if you're like walking? Yeah.

Yeah, it's cute. I like that. Well, it's because your hands aren't that big. That just took me down like kind of like a weird like child out for you. Ooh. That's because you don't have big hands, dude. I just imagined like a little kid.

This really went south for you, bud. I'm sorry. It's myself. How old are these usually? What's the kind of age bracket we're working in here? Yeah, like walking him out of daycare. Picking him up from school. Oh, fuck. fuck Okay let's

Holy fuck Move on Let's segue out of this ASAP Are we gonna just Move into the next part of that Yeah one second Hello

What What is prompting me to do this Dude it's just looking weird Okay we're good Oh my god So Morgan's a fucking hypochondriac And has checked To make sure our mics are recording Like six times in the last five minutes Dude we're spitting Oh my God. Okay. So Morgan's a fucking hypochondriac and has checked to make sure our mics are recording

like six times in the last five minutes. Dude, we're spitting the flames. What the fuck, dude? We're fire flame spitters right now. I need to make sure. Let's go to the next portion here. Let's see. It's the outfits shit, right?

I think we'll do top basic IG captions of the week first. I feel like that's a different, that's like a whole different category. Yeah, the other thing goes way better with this. Oh, okay. Oh, that's fair. So we got favorite things that girls wear. I mean, the all-time classic is yoga pants.

Yeah, leggings go apeshit 100 times out of 100 for sure. Morgan? I got party shades on girls. Party shades, okay. I like that, I like that. It has a really fun element. I can fuck with it. Yeah, like you're not afraid to be a little bit goofy.

Yeah, no, there's this girl at Coachella that was wearing like just the sickest fucking outfit, like super nice. And then she just had like the most absurd party shades on. I was like, that girl's a vibe. Yeah. That girl's a fucking vibe.

I had a nothing. That does it for me. For whatever reason, it hits different. Oh, that is fire. I fuck with that. Just like a nice nothing.

Like they're really dressed down. Yeah, I love the, like, that means it kind of goes along with like the yoga pants, but like the casual like workout clothes, like it's like, like they wear it to like, it's not something you actually work out in, but it's just like a nice little top.

I feel that. It's nice. A little like Lulu fit. I literally wrote Lulu next to that. Pretty much anything Lulu. Yeah, I feel that. I got dresses with A little like Lulu fit. I literally wrote Lulu next to that. Pretty much anything Lulu. Yeah, I feel that. I got dresses with the high side cut. Ooh.

Okay. Those are five. The slit. Those do the thing. The slit gets. The high side cut. Ooh. Because you know.

Is anyone else sweating? My hands are. I got anything thigh high. If we're talking socks, boots, like the super thigh high boots. Ooh, I had in my next portion. You had that in a hate? I don't fuck with those.

I don't like the big, the super tall boots. Oh, tall? No, I'm not talking like platforms. No, no, I'm talking like when they go up. Oh, that's not, okay. The socks for sure, but I'm not a huge fan of the knee high boots. Okay, I mean, it's a debate.

It's whatever you want, but. Yeah, it's just my opinion. My girl. Okay. I mean, it's a debate. It's whatever you want. But it's just my opinion. My girl throws some of those on, it's game over that night. I mean, maybe I just haven't seen the right girl in them, you know? I like that. I'm really open to anything. New Garrett sees the positive side. Yeah.

I'm a positive dude. The Garrett-o-meter. I'm making quite the comeback. You got another one? Not for what I do like that was kind of my my shebang there so I got like

the creative bras for tops like they're more than a bra but it's pretty much a bra yeah you know what I'm talking about like a bra top it's like a bralette

I think they're called it's like a top but it's like lacy that kind of bra vibes yeah if they were wearing like just some jeans and like just that top

yeah fine it's a great party fit I like when they do a jacket kind of bra vibes. Yeah, if they're wearing like just some like jeans and like just that top. Yeah, fine. That hits. It's a great party fit. I like when they do a jacket, but it's just around their arms. Oh, yeah. Like around their back. If they're wearing like a dress or like a little...

Right, or any time. That does it for me. You really got outside the box. I like that. Yeah, that's what I would not have thought of. That's just, you know... I mean, there's just so many... Went on a couple dates

with a girlfriend. She wore some nice fits, you know? I figured out what did it for me. Yeah. I mean, they get really creative with what Went on a couple of dates with a girlfriend. She wore some nice fits, you know. I figured out what did it for me. Yeah. I mean, they get really creative with what they wear. Like, I always think, like, about how little I ever think about what I'm putting on. Oh, black to your bust.

Yeah. And then they spend so much fucking time planning outfits. It's crazy. Trying to come up with some, like, creative use for a garment that isn't used that way. Like, the jacket just around your elbows. Like, what? But it works. It way. Like the jacket just around your elbows. Like what? But it works.

It works. Yeah, it does it for me. Okay, so straight into least favorite thing that girls wear. Yeah, I have the knee-high boots thing. I'm not saying I hate it.

I just, it's one of the things I'm not a huge fan of. I got clothes in general. Yeah, that'll do it. I have the Roman battle sandals is that what they call them

oh my god ah yeah the fucking air Jesus Christ 4s they're like laced all the way up their fucking knees the air Jesus 5s

the Messiah 7s yeah some of the footwear choices are questionable I had on here the clunky sneakers bro those got a the platforms

just fucking piss off stop like the big Reeboks like the clunky sneakers, bro. The platforms? Just fucking pissing. Stop. Like the big Reeboks? Like the clunky New Balance or whatever. You're not cute. Stop. You're getting the gear to me. Right back down.

We're right back. I don't know. I just don't get the hype on those. It's like if a guy doesn't think they look good on a girl, are they just doing it for themselves? Which is cool. And there's not a lot of outfits that girls wear that are just for the girls.

Yeah, and I think this- Like, most of them that they wear is stuff that we do like. Yeah, which I'm saying the sneakers is one that just threw me for a loop. I'm like, we don't fuck with them. Yeah.

No, what are you doing? I have that on here, too, along with the, like, heavy metal boots. Oh, yeah. Like, they're just, like, leather fucking thick. Like, they look like

they should have spikes coming out of them. Yeah, exactly. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they literally do. I had the, anything overly trendy, and what I mean is like when you make your jeans into a top, it's like, what the fuck is going on?

Like some homemade DIY. Yeah, like anything that the Uncut Gems girls wear. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. It's just, I don't know. She's the devil. What the fuck's going on? I didn't see any like laughable fits at Coachella. Like everyone was looking fucking pretty cool. Besides me and you? Yeah, I don't know. She's the devil. What the fuck's going on? I didn't see any, like, laughable fits at Coachella.

Like, everyone was looking fucking pretty cool. Besides me and you? Yeah, besides you and I. Like, usually you see some people and you're like, like, how hard can you fucking try? Like, you really wore that. Like, it's like a fucking meme, Coachella outfits. You know what I mean?

But I thought everyone looked cool. No one was wearing the Wook fits. There was no, like, super weird trends this year except for every single girl had a cowboy hat. True. Oh, I'm ready for that. And then my last one was, and I don't know how I feel about this

in my current state, but beanies some of the time. Oh, beanies are on my likes. That's on your likes? That's on my likes. Bout it, bout it. As I read it, I'm like, I don't know, sometimes they go hard.

Think about like a ski girl in a beanie. A bad ski bunny I'd take it back a bad ski bunny I'd take it back you know the only other one I had here on the hates was this isn't even necessarily

a outfit choice it's the girls like bachelorette party fits like when they all wear wigs yeah or they all wear like and a matching t-shirt

with a stupid ass phrase on the front yeah just I can't do it it makes me so upset when I'm out it's pretty cringe I don't know why it's pretty cringe yeah and they're the only ones you don't see guys doing that no oh i mean everything we do is pretty wack yeah that's true we do the

wackest shit yeah um i have like this overly baggy jeans like the mom jeans oh yeah those need to go see i put that down if you pair it with the right thing and if it has like some rips in it, like they're stylish, but just like the plain like baggy Levi's, no like, no real edge to them, you know? Yeah, I feel that.

You need the edge, the curvature. I'm an edgy dude, you know. Okay. Okay, okay. All right,

next up, we got the For the Boys segment. We got it. We got to get the Kings knowledge up. Yeah. We got, this is a huge one. How to get un-ghosted.

Can I please start this one? Yes. I want to go right after. No, I have a perfect choice. I want John to start. My first thought on this, so I'm like imagining myself ghosted. How do I get back into it?

The opposite of everything Garrett thinks of. I knew this was coming. Wait, I got the follow-up for this. So this is actually from Garrett. Showing up at their house to make sure they're okay. Calling 911 to do a wellness check. You did not do that. Did you really do that?

No, I didn't do that. This isn't bad that I thought you for sure did. I probably thought about it. This one's also from Garrett. Text them from a different number just to make sure. I mean, I only had one thing for this, and it's just, I don't fucking know. Okay, okay, okay.

If I knew, I wouldn't have been in the position I was in. I did rattle my brain with this one for a long time, and I thought, like, okay, we have to give them, because there's obviously easy ones for us to make fun of Garrett here. Let's give the boys something they can actually work with. Yeah, actually help me. I think the only way you can for sure do it,

and this only works if you follow each other on social media, is to post that you're doing something fun that they are a huge fan of. I like that. That's the only way to get you back. I like that. Like if they're big into a concert or a certain artist, you post that you're going or you're going to go out on a boat or something. Like if they're big into a concert or a certain artist you're posting you're going

or you're gonna go out on a boat or something. It has to be something fun though. Like over the top fun. Yeah, it has to be something super fun that reels them back in. Like I'm buying tickets

to her favorite artist concert and I fucking don't even like them. Extra ticks or something? Oh, yeah. Got two free ticks. Building on that though, I have moving the point of contact to a different media

where you can show your personality more. Yeah, shooting some like memes and shit, I feel like it's helpful. So like if you got like funny, if you think you're funny on TikTok, like send us some TikTok DMs, make them laugh a little bit.

Yeah. Might get you back in the game. If you can get a couple like, not only likes, but like some ha ha ha's. Yeah. Replying to like a meme, you might have a chance.

Or if you're good on Snapchat. I like that you threw in the third ha there because if you're only getting two. Oh, it's double ha? It's fuck no. Yeah. It's like, well, i'd rather you not say anything than give me the two haas it's got to be the three haas for me yeah i don't think there's a whole lot of ways though because if you blow it yeah all right into getting ghosted you have any i mean i have sent

in a recon team of friends which would be attacking on multiple different fronts maybe you see someone's at a place she's at tell her what's up you know get get you in her mind through someone else you know okay okay like i said boys the opposite of everything and then i'd ask for absolute desperation call just like uh one of their friends maybe you know try to get some intel that way and be like hey can you put in a little good word for me try to get the comms up exactly you need you need comms up jay's shaking his head i hated both of those and so try and inception your ideas were inception you into her brain and then get a yeah she's ghosting you from her friends yeah and then my last one kind of like, again, builds on top of yours, is just inviting them to a fun event. Inviting them to a fun event

that doesn't imply any one-on-one interaction. Yeah, like a party or something like that. And then I had, try to come up with an absurd story that would make it a reason for you to reach out to them. I would love to see your text. I couldn't think of any, but. I just saw a giraffe on the freeway.

These are all Hail Marys from my side, boys. Love to see your text. I couldn't think of any, but... I just saw a giraffe on the freeway. These are all Hail Marys from my side, boys. Okay, straight into the perfect time to follow up after a hookup. The only one I put down here was never. Oh, God. There he goes again. I feel like... I mean, it would depend if you're trying to see them again, right?

No, fuck. You're following up. Okay, then I'm saying like the next morning right away. I think that's the only correct answer is like the next, yeah, the next afternoon. No, I think that's why you get fucking ghosted. Well, no, I mean, I don't do that. Then why is that your advice?

Morg, I'd love to hear yours here. It's a cheeky two to three days. Here's what I had for you, thinking of what Morg does. At 2 a.m., like three weeks later, when you're hammered on a weekday. Text her a hundred times. It's fucked up. I've done it, I know. You act like you're operating with immunity in this situation.

You're trash too, my guy. You're acting like you're the king and we're the sorry people. Morg's go-to is that. You up? You up? 2 a.m. on a Thursday. Yeah, it never works, really. I think the only correct answer, though, actually, like two, three days is risky.

I feel like it's the next day. Next day, bro? Like, not the next morning. That's a little early, but like the next afternoon. Like saying feel like it's the next day next day bro like not the next morning that's a little early but like the next afternoon like saying something like hey last night was fun yeah or hey it was cool hanging with you you hear yourself talk i'm the only one here with a girlfriend dude i don't know what you're talking about i think he's right okay well maybe he might be send a snapchat of those glasses i feel like it's like aggressive to go next day.

It's not aggressive. Yeah. But like some girls would say like, oh, that's too quick. I mean, I'm not saying like, hey, like let's hang out again. You don't text them I love you the next day? Oh, I've done that too. I'm not saying like, hey, let's hang out the very next day. I'm just saying like just a little what up.

Or like checking in. If it was like a drunk thing, you could check in on the hangover. Exactly, yeah. Like I'm not just going. Or like checking in, if it was like a drunk thing, you could check in on the hangover. Exactly, yeah. Okay, now look at you. Like I'm not just going to be like, hello, how are you? It'd be like still fucking dying from last night, whatever. Like a fun little. Yeah, that's a good, that's a good follow up.

So just, you know. That's my bad. I know a little bit. I came at you hot there. Yeah, that was rough. That's on me. Well, he's got a bad rep. Yeah, I'm operating with a bad reputation here.

Okay, next up for the boys, we got top songs to set the mood. What do you got? You've Got a Friend in Me by Randy Newman. You've got a friend in me. And what are we setting the mood for? No, that's Gary. That's Gary.

You've got a friend in me. What are we setting the mood for in You've got a friend in me. What are we setting the mood for in that situation, John? The ghost. Setting the mood for never speaking to me. Ghosty Garrett. Setting the mood, I'm going anything from Nothing Was the Same album by Drake. I used to just run that baby on a loop in the bedroom.

Do you have any specifics? Literally cover to cover. You listen to the whole album? I have a... I don't know if that baby on a loop in the bedroom. Do you have any specifics? Literally cover to cover. You listen to the whole album? I have, I don't know if this is on that, but What's My Name, Drake and Rihanna. That was the album before, but that's a great one. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, no, what's my name?

You're like, no, really, what's my name? Do you have any? But then she might hit you with, what's my name? And you're like. Then you're fucked. Then you're fucked. Yeah, that's true. You better make sure you know my name. Speaking of that, with, what's my name? And you're like, then you're fucked. Then you're fucked. Yeah, that's true. You better make sure you know my name.

Speaking of that, do you even know my name? You're like, fuck, I have to go to the bathroom. All-star, Smash Mouth. Okay. Okay. Weep, weep, weep, weep. Weep, weep, weep, weep. That's the sound of the bed right there.

Oh, yeah. There it is. Bedrock? Bedrock is a good one yeah um workout j cole huge i'm saying a little drizzy drink in there i'm telling you bro and then uh i should have said this one first fucking proms yeah those are all complete vibe. Yeah. What are you going to say? I might go with like some Frank Ocean or something too. Yeah.

Something sultry. What are you going to say? I don't have any more bad ones. What do you got then? There's a band called Tender. Tender? And they just, it's like all just sex music. Throw it on the next time.

Give it a shot. You won't be disappointed. I'll have to take it for a spin. Yeah, quite literally. But play it after one of the ones I said first. Yes. Don't go right to that. It's not a mood starter, but it's a mood. Yeah.

Like if you throw in a Disney soundtrack and then work that in, you're set. Okay, let's hop into Philosopher's Stone, boys. Let's philosophize. And last week we didn't properly introduce it. Did I just forget the fucking Harry Potter theme? Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Phosphor Stone.

Let's get into some, let's think a little bit. Hey, I want to use this fucking thick brain. We do not think very often. I've also got a couple of that. There's one thing we don't do enough. It's fucking think. Think enough. That's why we have this segment,

and we're going to fucking put on a clinic. Okay, this one I feel like is going to get us here. Okay. I'm scared. There's a couple parts to the question. Why are farts funny? And if we ran an earth simulator, how often at the time do you think they'd be funny? And also what else could they have been? Wow. That was a three-parter. Okay. Okay. First of all, why are

they funny? I mean, I think only guys for the most part find it funny. No girls think they're funny. Yeah. I think they were more low key about how much they find it funny. I think girls... I think it's like 50-50. Wait, do girls think farts are funny? I think... That's what I'm saying.

For the most part they don't but I think that they know we think it's funny so they'll nervous laugh. They'll giggle along. Yeah, to keep it going. I'm not one to really like to just do that

in front of girls at all though. Like I don't think it's funny to do in front of girls. I think it's 50-50 though. I'd say you're way off on your numbers. Even with the girlfriend, I wasn't just intentionally out loud farting. My ex thought they were funny.

I fart. See, I don't know if I'd fuck with a girl who thought they were funny, to be honest. My girl does not think they're funny at all, and I still fuck. I like that. Really? I like that she doesn't find it funny.

I get the, oh, come on. Are you serious? I was on my foot. Like, yeah, I don't think I'd want my girl to find it funny. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what's not funny. There's got to be some things that are off limits. Girl farting.

No, that's not funny at all. Oh, yeah, it's not funny. Fuck no, that's not funny. Second part of the question was why are they funny? Or was why are farts funny? I just think the noise is just so funny. I think it's, I think it's like a nervous,

it's like a shame thing. Yeah, it's like, you are so embarrassed of it that you have to make it into, it's like if you fell down. Well, I think,

like you have to make it funny. I think if you fell down. You like have to make it funny or else it's like really embarrassing. I think it's like, when it's the, it's a shame. When it's the over the top,

like you're trying to make sure everyone hears it. It's funny because you know they're trying to do that. Yeah. think it's like, when it's the, it's a shame. When it's the over the top, like you're trying to make sure everyone hears it. It's funny because you know they're trying to do that. Yeah. Like it's fun. Like it's a collectively funny thing. Yeah.

That's fair. Oh, that was, that was funny. That was good. A good 360 jump fart. Like that doesn't, that kills every time.

I'm good at those. It's almost like a yawn reaction. Like we don't know why we immediately laugh when we hear a fart. We don't really know why we yawn. After someone else yawns?

Yeah. Like it's contagious to laugh when someone farts. I'll tell you what, someone else, someone else farts, we hear a fart. We don't really know why we yawn. After someone else yawns? It's contagious to laugh when someone farts. I'll tell you what, someone else farts, I want to fart. If it was contagious to fart, the world would be different. I want to fart. Imagine if you could just fart.

Does anyone have one for us? I could brew one up pretty quick. Is this where we're going? Oh, he got one. Cut the shit out of that yeah okay so so if we ran the earth simulator how often do you think they'd be funny every time so like just how often does our society make that decision that farts are funny? I mean, I would probably laugh every time. They rip. I'm sure there would be... Oh my God.

God damn it. God damn it, Gary. Is that good? I'm not getting any of it. I'm sure there would be a couple Sims where it's not funny. So what do you think they go to?

It could be something like where it's acceptable to do for children and then it turns into like picking your nose where it's just unacceptable. I mean, are we like in a minority where it's just unacceptable. I mean, are we like in a minority

of finding them funny? I mean, they're funny in movies. That's true. It's funny. Yeah. No, they're funny on the TikTok. They're funny.

Yeah, it's funny. So I guess what else could have they been is just gross. Yeah. Oh, like what would be? I mean, they are gross. So if they weren't funny,

what would they be? Yeah. Yeah, they would for sure be gross. They're already gross. 50% of the population already thinks that mean, they are gross. So if they weren't funny, what would they be? Yeah. Yeah, they would for sure be gross. They're already gross. 50% of the population already thinks that. They are already gross. They're already gross.

Okay. I'd say probably overwhelmingly 50% of the population does not like... Yeah, I'm saying like, I don't think it's funny in like every culture or every,

like it's just funny because we're fucking idiots. Yeah. Our brains have just enough cells to think it's funny. Yeah. But I'm just conjuring up some scenarios

like doctors in an operating room and just lets one rip like are people laughing well hell no in that scenario that's true it's situational

you're just on anesthesia and you're just like what the fuck alright so maybe there's scenarios where it's not funny I got a good one for us okay

is salt the only tasty rock? Holy shit. That's tough. How the fuck did you think of that? You know what's strange, though? Other rocks are salty.

There's salt on other rocks, maybe. That's maybe what it is. But do you think there's another rock? Because I can only imagine there's thousands of different rocks. Oh, I'm sure what it is. But do you think there's another rock? Because there's, I can only imagine there's thousands of different rocks. Oh, I'm sure there's millions.

Wait, how does salt, can you just go find salt out there? It comes from salt mines and shit. Yeah, we just harvest salt from shit. It's mostly from,

like, the ocean, right? Or, like, crystallite rock caves? But it's still a rock in there. Yeah. I mean,

it, like like crystallizes. Yeah. Is there another one that's like dank as shit that we don't know about? Are we missing out on some rocks? Meth. Wait, what? I heard meth is dank.

Meth. Oh, we did hear that. We did hear that. Wait, hold up. That's fucking... I never thought of that shit before. Maybe there's just not enough of the other ones that taste good.

I mean, it's technically a mineral though, right? But it like turns into a rock. I guess minerals are rocks. Rocks are just hardened like minerals, right? Yeah, I think so. Like... Wait, what's another mineral? A calcium.

Or... Phosphorus. Fucking limestone. Yeah. A little margarita and limestone, dude. Is salt the only tasty rock? A little limestone on little margarita and limestone dude is salt the only tasty rock little limestone

on the rim of my marg someone may have probably tested this I'd hope you have to go on a rock hunt like a geologist or someone a geologist has probably

tasted something let's go hunt rock let's go hunt rock let's go hunt rock I like that that was fucking crazy shit okay alright this one's big I like that. That was fucking crazy. Shit.

Okay. All right. This one's big. You guys ready? Yep. What's up? Why is MGK so hateable? It's a lot of things for me.

One, music's trash. Music's not good. Trash rapper. And then, thank God he moved into a different genre. Still trash. His face is incredibly punchable. It's so... Yeah, I just want to fucking... There's very...

There's those faces. I don't know why. Before he even opens his mouth, I just want to strike it. Yeah. I think that what it is for me is he knows he's hateable, but then he goes and tries to make people hate him.

He kind of like plays into it. You know what I mean? I think for me, it's more that he's dating Megan Fox. Well, that's icing on the fucking cake. He's also just like, I think he's just genuinely uncool and he thinks he's so fucking cool.

Well, his whole style is like something that no one would ever, like that's not, you're trying to do that. He's trying to be like weird and out there. You're trying to do all the earrings and the weird clothes and stuff. Like you have to put effort to do that. He's trying to be weird and out there. You're trying to do all the earrings and the weird clothes and stuff.

You have to put effort into doing that. Which I just immediately find corny as shit. Yeah, it doesn't seem genuine at all. And here's the thing about the whole emo thing

that he does. If you're fucking emo, you're fucking emo. He's not like- Well, you don't start out as a fucking rapper if you're fucking emo. Like, have you ever

talked to an emo person that they're actually fucking emo? Look at him talk he's not fucking emo yeah I don't I don't fucking get it like you remember

talking to like an emo kid in high school like they're fucking dark dude yeah he could be no I've seen him in interviews

like he's just he's just a regular dude yeah he's just I've never seen him in an interview I couldn't I wouldn't watch it I would

I simply wouldn't watch it my laptop screen wouldn't last a fucking second I'd punch the shit out of it yeah I don't I don't like if he was on like Joe Rogan, I'm skipping that one. Oh no. He would never get on that. Yeah. Um, another fun one here. What would, what would 13 year old you say if he met you? 13. I can't put myself in that place. 13-year-old me. Let me think of 13-year-old me.

I'd probably be like, yeah, that's pretty spot on. Yeah, I think it's pretty close to what I would have hoped for. Yeah, it's not too far off. I would expect a couple more millions in the bank by now. Thank God you got braces, he'd probably say. 13-year-old me wouldn't be a professional

skateboarder, so I think it's kind of in alignment. Yeah, I wouldn't be a great baseball player. If he met you right this second, like this, I think he'd be like, yeah, we did it. He'd probably just be like, where'd the gauges go? Why'd you take those out? Why'd you take the big ass earrings out?

Do you think he would have thought you were still playing football? Oh, I wasn't in football. I mean, I was playing football, but I was... You weren't, like, super into it at the time? I wanted to be a professional skater. Oh, yeah, he was a big skateboard guy. Yeah, I was skating.

Breaking his wrists every other month. Yeah. Long-ass hair. He'd probably be like, where's our hair? Yeah, what happened to the hair? What'd you do to our hair? Yeah. We had beautiful hair.

We had great hair. What happened? And why is it not blonde naturally anymore? Where's our hair? Why is it only the top blonde? Why is it only the top blonde? Yeah, I guess. I think for the most part, yeah, I'd be pretty okay with it.

I'd sit down for it. Explaining a lot of like how we got here would probably be interesting okay with it. Yeah, I'm down for it. Explaining a lot of, like, how we got here would probably be interesting, though. Yeah. Like, are you a lot... Is it 13-year-old me just, like, sees me, like, my resume? Or a 13-year-old, like, I'm sitting down all the time?

You have lunch. We have lunch. You have lunch. Or you'd have a lot of words for him. Like, a lot of, uh, you're gonna... Do I get to change things? Or is it just, like, I'm informing him of his future? Like, what, you're still playing World of Warcraft? Yeah, exactly. Like, a lot of, you're going to, do I get to change things, or is it just, like, I'm informing him of his future? Like, what, you're still playing World of Warcraft?

Yeah, exactly. Like, just so you know, you switched from Fire Mage to Warrior. He's like, really? What the fuck, man? He's like, dude, we've been a caster all day. I know what you're wondering. Are we still playing World of Warcraft? Yes. The answer is absolutely.

The subscription never died. It's still lit as fuck. 13-year-old Garrett is pretty much the same as 6-year-old Garrett, right? Yeah, same size. I could tell you what a 13-year-old Garrett says. We didn't grow? No, fuck off. He'd probably be stoked that I grew some inches for sure.

Yeah, you would be amped. I think I was 5'1", was five one. So I've, I've got about 10 inches now. So that's nice. Yeah. Okay. That's a good one. Okay.

Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Biden's babbles. Oh God. This week it's a little yachty or Joe Biden quotes. Okay. I'm out here trying to promote positivity on a global scale.

I think just from the I'm out here, it's got to be Little Yachty. Yeah, the I'm out here throws me... That's the only way you could say it though. He could just say I'm promoting. Yeah, that's got to be Little Yachty. You're not tricking me on this one. That's the yachtsman.

That's Little Boat. That's Little Boat. Little Boat. Okay, so next one. That's how things work. You be who you are, and then people like you. They gravitate.

That's got to be Little Yachty. Again, it's the you be who you are. It's also such a coherent sentence. I can't be by it. Yeah, yeah. These are making too much sense. That's the problem. This is Young Bodimus. Yeah, yeah. These are making too much sense. That's the problem. This is young Bodimus.

Young Bodimus. Matt's young boat. Okay. Last one. I'm 100% sunshine. Okay. Now we're talking. Now we're getting into the gray area.

I'm 100% sunshine. This is a toss-up. I'm 100%. I'm 100%. I think it's got to be a little sea-dwelling boat. Little raft? It's a little canoe, dude.

But doesn't he sound pretty fucking wholesome? Yeah, no. He sounds like a great guy. Where did you find these? Yeah. These are just like... You typed in the little yachty quotes?

No, he's pretty fucking cool. He's like a great guy. Where did you find these? Yeah. These are just like- You typed in Lil Yachty quotes? No, he's pretty fucking cool. He's like a very nice, seems like a nice- How old's Lil Yacht these days? He's pretty young. Seems like 23 or something. 23? He's out here.

He's 100% same time. Is he still rocking the same fit? Like the hair and shit? Does he still have the beads and the- I don't know. I think he's- I really like that. I like that look.

I remember he had the rainbow grill for a bit. Oh, yeah. That was pretty dope. Yeah. He's beaded out for sure. I haven't heard music from him in quite some time. That's for one thing. Yeah. Yeah. He's beat it out. I haven't heard music from him in quite some time. That's for one thing. Yeah.

Yeah. He really fell off with music for sure. But I mean, Broccoli back in the day? I just heard that song the other day in the car. So good. That was the peak of just happy,

like party music. It's just such a fun song. There was no other shit. Bitch, get off of me. Bitch, get off of me. Crazy. Crazy. Okay, this is, this one's, get off of me. Crazy. Crazy. Okay, this is,

this one's going to be huge here. Okay. Can't wait for this. Create and name your own sex position. Okay, I went a little bit exotic here. The name is simple. It's called the kamikaze. It would basically, not to get too graphic,

it would involve a female sitting in a chair across the room and me dead sprinting, jumping into some sort of device that hangs from the ceiling that kind of gets me into a little holster. And then I just swing right in there. Okay. Who's dying in this scenario? No one dies. Everyone lives in this one. It's not like a Pearl. Yes. And then I just swing right in there. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Who's dying in this scenario? No one dies.

Everyone lives in this one. So it's just. It's not like a Pearl Harbor thing. Okay. It's a. Successful kamikaze. Yes. Well now they.

Theirs was successful too. But this is. True. True. True. True. True. True.

True. True. True. True. True. True. True. You want mine?

Yeah. Mine's called the pizza toss. And the idea is you cut a hole in a lazy susan and then you lay underneath it and then god damn it i love it oh my my God, bro. Just spinning her like a top. It's a spin to win, really.

That's fucking great. I like that. I love that. You cut a hole in a lazy Susan. So this one involves some carpentry. Yeah, there's a little DIY to this, but yeah. Okay, so mine is called the carnival swing ride. So you do a reverse piggyback,

and then you swing around in a circle while simultaneously squatting up and down. Wow. I'm going to need more visual for that. Yeah, can you stand up? Reverse piggyback is you're on her back? No. Oh, reverse.

Front hug. Okay. She lays back, then you spin around while squatting up and down. So you know how the swing is on the car? Oh, it's like a fucking... Oh, yeah. See, that's what I needed. It's a carousel. So you're how the swing is on the car? Oh, it's like a fucking... Oh, yeah. See, that's what I mean.

It's a carousel. So you're locking them in. No, a carousel is with horses. Yeah, but it goes up and down. The swing ride is with the swings. Oh, the swing ride. The carnival swing ride. Wow.

Okay, I like that. I like that. That's a toughie. These are all fun. You know what's kind of crazy? We're fucking fun. That came to me so quickly when I was thinking about it. Yeah.

No, mine took... I think mine took 30 seconds. I knew what I was trying to execute. You know what I mean? Yeah. So ladies, if you'd like to try any of these out, hit the DMs. Yeah, true.

We like to have fun. You know, we're fun people. I'm working on my own. Fun fucking dudes. I just ordered Lazy Susan off of Amazon. So I'm just primed to Lazy Susan. Yeah, you're at liberty to try yours. Yeah, you actually have the opportunity to try it out.

Okay. Another thinker. How do you know when the mushrooms hit? Ooh. It's a pretty gradual come up. You know, it starts with the giggles. What is hit? What portion of hit do you mean? How do you know when you're finally on mushrooms?

I mean, it's usually a solo trip to like the restroom or something. And the floor is moving. Yeah, if you ever isolate yourself from like sound and visual stuff. Everything like amplifies. And then it kind of gets, you're like, whoa,

I'm kind of like red and yellow at the same time. Yeah, oh dude. I remember one time I looked at you and you were orange. Yeah. When the actual skin tone of people's faces is a different color, it's crazy. Or when Morg looks 100 years old. Yeah, bro. Something about everyone.

You see like, I think your body like projects like wrinkles or you just see like every detail like moves. So it looks like super wrinkly. Yeah. For me, it's also just everything is just like a wave. Everything is moving like slowly and. Yeah, just like a wave. It's always like slowly. Yeah, just like a wave. It's always the floor.

The floor always gets me like tile or wood floors when you can see it like, there's like a layer of movement on top of the actual like ground. It's so true. I love it. When you focus in on something for like a quarter second, you get a little wiggle there.

It's so fun. Usually it's not super visual for me though. Really? It's more of like a- I usually get it pretty heavy. That's like a late stage. That's like a late stage. That's like a late stage I know I'm on.

Or you just need to do more. Like a medium stage is like I actually like EDM. That's a good beginning stage. That's a good start. Okay, this one kind of

thumps a little bit. Yeah, here we go. Is that a kick drum? Are you fine? Oh my God. Okay. Best drunk foods T-Bell

100% 40 piece chicken McNugget from McDonald's yeah really yeah what's your what's your go-to sauce

from the mix ooh the sweet and sour guy why do I feel like you're a dry guy you go no sauce no it depends I usually just get all of them

and just go for it just a little it's fun to get all of them yeah kind of mix it up you don't have a preference McDonald's doesn't do it for me really it depends. I usually just get all of them and just go for it. Just a little. It's fun to get all of them. Yeah. Kind of mix it up. You don't have a preference? McDonald's doesn't do it for me.

Really? It depends. It depends. Lava Burst? High Sea Orange Lava Burst? Yeah. Yeah. That's fair.

Yes to Taco Bell. Yeah. A Baja Blast is a must. It's 100% must. It has to be. It's simply. And so for me, so is a Nacho Doritos Locos Taco. Okay. It has to be.

I'm a big fan of pho on The Hangover. No, no, drunk, drunk, drunk. Oh, when you're drunk. When you're drunk. Oh, then I had a bag. Fuck me. Yes! That is, Loki, the best drunk we've ever had.

That's the drunk. Okay, so we're done with this segment. That's the best drunk meal. That's the drunk. Okay, so we're done with this segment. That is shit on mine. Oh, God. That was good. I have the fucking homies on this one. When your boys are looking like a whole meal. Dude, fuck.

Not only Taco Bell, but just like a fucking classic taco shop burrito. Oh, yeah. A little Cali burrito. Oh, yeah. Fuck off. Yeah, fuck me up. I got a cheesy fries

in any capacity. Yeah, or nachos. Yeah. I'll pair with that. Yeah, that was my next one. Yep. Cheesy fries here. I can get behind that.

Flamin' Dinks. Do it for me. Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Flamin' Hot Cheetos drunk? Yeah. I mean, I'll eat them at any time, but it wouldn't be like a meal. Like I'd have them.

Yeah. I don't know if I've ever done that. Yeah, are you kidding me? You don't think you've ever eaten Flamin' Hot Cheetos drunk? Well, because think about... Think about how much you are drunk and how much you eat Hot Cheetos.

It's happened. Okay. Take it back. Bacon hot dogs outside the club. Oh, my God. I got one on the... Shut the fuck up. I've had three of those this weekend.

They're so good. At Coachella, I was just like, I'll take four of these. Dude, I housed it. Two bites, literally. And it was a girthy frank. I was choking them down. Ch take four of these. Dude, I housed it. Two bites, literally. And it was a girthy frank. I was choking him down. Choking glizzies.

Those fucking bastards had the audacity to charge me $20. Oh, no, I got two. I got two. But $10 a pop? For a dog? If you get them in Mexico, they're like $2. To backpack on top of that, I think glizzies in any capacity. Yeah, glizzies for sure.

They bust. A golf-drunk glizzy is as close to church as you'll ever get. And skip the bun. Just throw it. Skip the bun. Don't heat it up. Goat it.

Don't heat it up. Dip it in a little bit of water. It's a glizzard. Can you eat a raw hot dog? Yeah, they're pre-cooked. So you're just heating them up when you grill them? Yeah.

Wasting time. Or charring them or whatever. Yeah, you get a little more flavor. I can get a little more flavor. Yeah. Did your family ever boil hot dogs? Yeah. What the fuck were we doing?

Yeah, no. They for sure did, which I was just going to bring up. Why the fuck would that ever be the go-to? Which brings me to my next one, hot dog water. Dog water? A little slimy dog water, dude. It's got that little glisten a little salt yeah i don't know if this is food but like just making out with your dog when you're drunk is

no up there with your like homie or your dog no like your actual dog like you won't just sit there and just let your dog lick the shit out of your face abuse your face yeah okay okay okay yeah don't look at me like that you don't do weird shit all the time. Just letting your dog like lick your face when you're laying on the ground. Oh yeah, I'll just sit there and just be like, yeah, fuck it. Okay. Definitely not a food item for the record though.

Yeah, that's- That was even up for debate. Not even close to a meal. Well, I prefaced it with that. Yeah, okay. Okay, you got any more? No, those are my go-to drunk foods. I have some good hangover foods as well.

Okay, best hungover foods. Panda Express, without a doubt. Yep. That's the only time you can eat Panda Express because you'll feel like shit afterwards, but you'll equate it to the hangover. Exactly. Like, you won't blame it on the food.

Yeah. You're just like, ah, fuck. You're like, my stomach hurts. But it's a noticeable 20, 25% worse that you feel. Oh, it's a leap and a bound. Yeah, it's a big up, big down. Yeah. I don't know what the fuck's in that shit.

It's delicious, but it really weighs on you. I'm in bed for the whole day. Oh, yeah. To backpack on that, I got just a large helping of the boys. A heaping scoop of my broth I had another bag just a hangover bag

is like almost better than a drunk bag followed by getting immediately blacked out again yeah honestly a fucking breakfast beer oh a breakfast beer is hitting. Yeah, 100%.

Or like a Bloody Mary. Yeah. And then like, it makes you feel so much better that you just get four more. Yeah. And then you're hungover the next day again. So back to best drunk foods,

we're drunk again, right? Yeah, yeah. So we're back to being drunk. No, but I got smoothie slash milkshake. Yeah, I was going to go kind of similar. Acai bowl. Oh, yeah. If you're actually,

so there's those hangovers where you feel so bad that you don't care if you feel worse. That's when you get panda. But if you're like, ooh, I need to kind of come out of this. I don't want to feel like shit. Like you've got another thing that night. Exactly.

So like I'm going like something like acai. Something light. That's a Saturday hangover. Yeah, exactly. Well, now I can, fresh, delicious. Yeah, exactly. Well, now I can bring in pho. Yeah, for sure. Pho is the ultimate go. It's the only food hangover thing that I can eat

where I'll have a slurp of the broth, one bite of noodles, and I'm like, I'm good. Yeah, straight up. It's just light enough to where you don't have to go all in. You felt like you ate. You can eat as much. It's a never-ending bowl regardless, so I'm never going to get to the bottom of it.

It's one bite and I'm full. I'm so good now. I don't know why. I like Thai food, but you don't. I don't know why. I don't like Thai food that much. I'm not a huge Thai food guy. Maybe I just haven't had the right Thai food.

I like Pad Thai. And I'm getting drunken noodle. Yeah, drunken noodle? Drunken noodle. I think it's the basil for me. I mean, I like basil, but it's just so heavy on Thai food. Basil? Why do you say it like that?

It's basil. There's a lot of words I say wrong, dude. That was an interesting pronunciation. You're a basil bitch. Basil? Basil. I don't know what accent you just developed when you started saying that word. I say basil weird.

It's basil. I know that. Basil. I just, it comes out basil. Ooh, I love weird. It's basil. I know that. Basil. I just, it comes out. Basil. Ooh, I love hearing Gordon Ramsey say basil. Basil. Basil.

I say TV weird. I've heard. How do you say it? TV. Yeah, you're like, enunciate the wrong part. You go TV. We go TV.

TV. TV. TV. TV. Everyone else pronounces the V harder. You go TV. And I go TV. And then this is pronounces the V harder. You go TV. And I go TV. And then this is one that I've actually fixed

because it was weird that I had to fix it. I used to say wants, like wants upon a time. I thought you were saying wants. Yeah, like wants. Yeah, you say wants. Like I've done that once. Wants? Yeah, I said it like that and I fixed it.

That's like how you say it when you remember those childhood fucking books where the O's like massive, and it's the beginning of the story on the first page. It's in like some crazy calligraphy, but just the O. That's when you go wants upon a time. It would have been once upon a time where you're a fucking friend if you can. Yeah, I know. But I had to get rid of that one and say in hella. It's going to be wants.

That went right out just with hella too. Had a suck saying that. Hella, that was probably tough for you guys to kick being from NorCal. No, you say that

and so do I. I don't say it that often but I definitely say it. I just remember people would come up to you and be like, oh, how hot is it? How hot is it?

It's hella hot and you're like, fuck you, dude. Yeah, people always think it's weird when I say mad. Like that's mad weird. Oh, yeah. It's like an East Coast thing. It's like a UK thing mad. Like that's mad weird. Oh, yeah. It's like an East Coast thing.

It's like a UK thing. Yeah. It's mad weird, man. Yeah, it's definitely like an East Coast or like British thing. But I don't know. Some people are like, what the fuck did you just say? Okay. First TikTok I do today.

Okay. This or that? Yeah. This or that? Yeah, I mean mean I have some but I just I have them I just didn't know

where we were going exactly with this okay drunk sex or hungover sex drunk because hungover is always morning

and morning is my go to really morning is the best I will not in a millionth of the time oh yeah

in morning sex but I don't know I'm not like hungover sex feels different no it's definitely in a millionth of the time. Oh, yeah. In morning sex. But I don't know. I'm not like... However, sex feels different. No, it's definitely... No, I love... Don't get me wrong. I love them both.

But I'm not the hugest on like the morning breath and like the kind of just like... Oh, there are some things that you can't do. You like are unshowered from the night before. It just...

Sometimes it's not great. Morning breath can really fuck up your skin. It can really ruin it. That's what I'm saying. I don't even kiss her. And I'm usually more concerned about like mine than anything. Like I'm not, like I'll get over hers, but mine is what I'm mostly worried about.

Yeah, that's fair. Sometimes I'll just take a quick. Consider it Garrett's bad. Just be like, oh, I got to pee. A little Listerine in the mouth. Then you're back in action. Okay. I feel that.

I got a good one. Get a shitty haircut or get your hair dyed. The more you can't answer, you pick both. Fuck. Oh, fuck. I'm going to bed. But actually...

Fuck. I don't think there's anything worse than getting a fucking shitty haircut though bro oh yeah how do you walk around no there's a good story it's hat time oh we got bodied

Garrett me and Garrett got fucking bodied dude in college we went to go get a haircut together at this fucking piece of shit establishment called Barberside fuck you never go there consider this my Yelp review I never wrote for fucking piece of shit establishment called barberside fuck you never go there that

consider this my yelp review i never wrote for the piece of shit you fucking did to me we walked out of there pissing ourselves laughing at each other and i was like wait is mine fucked too you're like bro it's so bad dude he had to call his mom to ask for money to get a hat i we were so broke at the time i I literally go, Mom, my hair's going to be fucked for at least two months. I'm going straight to the mall, and I'm getting like five hats. He moved my hairline like up my head like this high,

gave me like a hard line. You know when they like shave the line? And it was a one all the way up to the middle of my head. Oh, skin fade all around. Basically like a mohawk. Like it was so fucked. Yeah. So that tells me.

Like a zero up to like a one. Yeah. That tells me you guys are extremely silent doing your haircuts. Like if they're doing something bad, you're just like, this is it. This is it. It's happening.

I'm that fucking passive, bro. I let it happen. I paid him. I even tipped him. And I walked out of there just like. Is there anything more stressful though when you're watching the haircut go bad? Dude, that's why I'll show him a picture of what.

Oh yeah. Of a good, when I had a good haircut. Yeah. So they fucking know. The kid I go to now is like a homie. And so it's just so much better. Yeah. Like I just, he knows,

I've gotten the same haircut for the last like a year that I've been going to him. And he's just like, he doesn't. Oh, I've talked to him. I just like, I mean, I talked to him about it, but not even about the haircut. He's just, all right, cool. Let's do the thing. I had the same barber for seven years. I don't even talk to him. I just like, I mean, I talk to him about it, but not even about the haircut. He's just, all right, cool. Let's do the thing.

I had the same barber for seven years. I don't go to anyone else. Yeah. Wow. You know, after, after I found this guy, I'm never going to anyone else.

Is there anything more stressful though than that in the world? Or have you ever been to a barbershop where they turn you away from the mirror until it's done? Why do they do that everywhere, bro? It's so scary. That is the most, cause you're like here, and you're like. Dude, I don't let people

use clippers on me anymore. I get scissor fade. You get scissor fade? I get as close as, I go as close as you can get with scissors. Really? So it's like,

it comes out as like a two or a three, probably. Wow. Learned something new. Yep. You got one? Oh, this or that? Yeah.

Yours are so much better than mine. Mine are fucking whack. Well, just say one. They're so, they're lame as fuck. No, just go. Say it, say it, say it. Burritos or tacos? That's whack.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I didn't know where we were going with this. Okay. What's the next? Read them all. Yeah, read them all. Read them all.

You're weak as fuck. You have to. You're weak as fuck. Read them. They're so lame. For TikTok. They're not even worth talking about. No, they're so stupid. Come on. We just gonna, a video of us just calling you whack. Oh,. They're so lame. For TikTok. They're not even worth talking about. No, they're so stupid.

Come on. A video of us just calling you whack. We've gotten so much of that this episode. Just fucking move on. Okay. They're really lame like basketball or football. No effort. Whack.

I don't know how I get more creative with this. Oh, you wear it. I really just didn't know where we were going. You're being such a Garrett right now, dude. Holy fuck. All right, go ahead. Talk to really just didn't know where we were going. You're being such a Garrett right now, dude. Holy fuck. All right, go ahead. Talk to animals or speak every language? Talk to animals.

Talking to animals would be so fun. I don't really care to talk to humans. Yeah, learn English, and then I'll talk to the animals. Talk to animals, right? And the animals better speak English. They better... What else? I don't know what it could be.

Yeah. You're just like, meow, and you get it? Yeah, like, oh, you learn animal? You speak their language. That would be way sicker, actually. Yeah, right? Oh, dolphins would go ham just hopping the seat. You're like, fuck, that does sound fire.

Some dolphin-essy. I'd be in a goat farm for hours just like, Goat farm. Yeah, that's an easy cake there. Easy. This is a good one here. Most viewed or top rated when you're on the hub? Oh, I go most viewed.

Most viewed? Because I don't trust the ratings. Who rates a video? Same people who write comments underneath. Yeah, I go most viewed too. You go most viewed? I'm also on most viewed. But I'm at the point where I go to most viewed

and then I have to go like eight pages deep because I've got most viewed too. You got most viewed? I'm also on most viewed. But I'm at the point where I go to most viewed and then I have to go like eight pages deep because I've seen most viewed. Just start on tab seven. I just literally click the last arrow. Work from the back. So go straight back up. I'm reading it backwards. That was good.

Okay. Sauce on the side or sauce on top? Depends. It depends. If it's a sauce, I'm not 100% in on. It's like their house sauce or whatever. I don't know what that means, right? So I'll get it on the side.

First try sauce definitely goes side. For me, barbecue, it's got to be on the side. Barbecue's got to be on the side? Yeah, because they always fucking lather it. Yeah, I don't trust their judgment on how much to put. Yeah, they put so much on barbecue. It's like coated in. It's like I want it a bite's worth.

I also want to be able to touch it. I also like being able to put it on like each bite. That's fair. Like ketchup, if I get a burger, I do not ask for ketchup on it, but I put ketchup on it. I recently changed it to get it on it. Because I don't like it. From not getting anything at all?

I like just kind of eating it like, you know, like with a burrito, how you put the sauce on with each bite. I like doing that with my burger, a little ketchup on each bite. That's fair. Okay. Really does it for me. You have another one? Yeah.

Would you rather owe me money or owe me a favor? I have a favor. Favor? You sure about that? I think I'm going money. I mean, it depends. Are you going to be a fucking prick about it I think it's just

your experience I mean I don't like owing people money just in general I don't like owing someone a favor way worse because that could be

something so much more inconvenient like pick me up from the airport when I'm like somewhere far away I mean I guess I could just

fucking pay you and then I don't have to worry about the favor over my head I would just trust that you wouldn't make it that horrible for me.

Like if you're asking me to help you move, I'm out. No, exactly. Yeah, it could be something like that. See, that's where I draw the line. No, that's what I've gotten before. Having to help somebody move is the most fucked up thing. And especially if it was way over the top

on versus what you did. Exactly, yeah. Like you lent me a shirt one time and you're like, oh, I owe you one. It would be like equivalent to what I did for you. So I wouldn't think it would be that bad. But like if you're going you lent me a shirt one time, and you're like, oh, I owe you one. I would just trust that it would be, like, equivalent to what I did for you, so I wouldn't think it would be that bad. But, like, if you're gonna ask me to help you move, fuck no. With money, though,

you never have to worry about that. It's the exact amount. It's true. Yeah, I'm going money all day. I think money. Okay, I got crunchy cereal or soggy cereal? Crunchy. I fucking hate soggy cereal. You guys go crunchy all the time. You're a fucking bimbo, dude. So I'll, like, eat, like, a half bowl. I'll eat, like, four half bowls because I can't stand when. I fucking hate soggy cereal. You guys go crunchy all the time. I put. You're a fucking bimbo, dude. So I'll like eat like a half bowl. I'll eat like four half bowls because I can't stand when it even gets remotely soggy.

Really? Yep. I don't like crunchy things in my mouth, really. Unless it's a chip. Like I don't like crunchy things in ice cream. Really? Yeah. Some fucking Oreos?

It doesn't fucking go with it. I don't like. I don't like anything flicking stuff. I don't like like soggy things. That's why I don't like tomatoes and I don't like mushrooms and shit. It's because of the texture. I hate, like, the squishy-ass fucking shit. I feel like it's just a nicer type of...

I love... That's why I don't even buy certain cereals because they get too soggy too quick. Soggy too quick, yeah. Really? Like, Frosted Flakes, you better be powering through. Yeah, you gotta...

As soon as the milk touches that fucker, get the spoon in the bowl. I will let Frosted Flakes sit there. Bro. You're sick. You're disgusting. I love it. You're probably one of those

absolute inbreds that put sugar on top of Frost Flakes. Oh, my God. Dude, that's actually gross as fuck. Soggy cereal? All right, dude. All right. I literally only put in enough milk to where I see the cereal raise up a little bit.

Like, in the bowl, it raises level. Oh, yeah. Like, okay, that's enough. Stop. No, I put the minimal amount. Interesting. You're fucking weird, dude. Yeah, what the fuck?

You're like sloppy seconds fucking cereal dude. Okay, settle down. Interesting. You're fucking weird, dude. Yeah, what the fuck? You're like sloppy seconds fucking cereal dude. Okay, settle down. Okay. Oh, this is my favorite one. There's been so much gas this time around. Things to say during sex

and in traffic. Oh, I love this one. All right, who wants to go first? I'll go first. We'll go this way. Smells like burnt rubber. Mom, shut the fuck up. This guy's riding my fucking ass.

Mom, can't we go faster? Garrett, shut the fuck up. You're not going to fit. I can't back up. There's a guy right on my ass dad shut the fuck up you're fucking can we please speed the fuck up i think i think that was it for me on that one um oh eat my ass oh look at this fucking asshole. That's literally my next one. Look at this fucking asshole. Okay, here we go. This is my last little bit here.

What's the difference between your mom and Garrett? Oh, God. I already know the answer I think I know that you haven't fucked my mom your mom shuts the fuck up after I hate her I knew that's what you were going to say you cock

what's the difference between Garrett and Spongebob Squarepants? Not sure. We're still trying to figure this one out. Fuck, I could have came up with something for that. I think that'll do it. Spongebob has less holes. It was more fuckable.

Are we done? Yeah, tap us out. Woo! That was a fun one, ladies and gentlemen. That's a lot of caffeine involved there. Was that episode 10? That's 10. We are 10 episodes old, ladies and gentlemen. Thanks for tagging along with us.

We're just getting started, baby. And then remember, we want to answer your questions. I don't think we got enough this week to throw them in. Yeah, we got some, but they weren't great. Yeah, if you rate, review, subscribe, throw us a freaking question that you want us to answer, we'll answer it for you. You can also just DM us,

but it would be helpful if you did a rating. Well, they already follow us if they DM us, so that's good enough. That's good. So, yeah, send us some fucking heat, so that's good enough. That's good. Yeah. So, yeah, send us some fucking heat. We want to get you all more involved.

But other than that, episode 10, first 10 episodes are in the books. We will be back with the next chapter next week. Thank you all.

Yes.