NO FOMO - 13. The North Pole

Episode Date: May 26, 2022

Welcome Back Fomo Sapiens. This week we take a look at what really goes on at the North Pole, discover the Full Pound Club, and learn to Bird Call. Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO. Also, the boys got their first sponsor shout out to Manscaped:  Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code NOFOMO at MANSCAPED.com! #ad #manscapedpod  To Submit to the Show message us on Instagram linked below! Socials: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fomomusic_/ Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fomomusic Twitter: https://twitter.com/fomomusic_ Spotify (Music): https://open.spotify.com/artist/6K4rA9ocjtIaTOEVZ4N6dX?si=zlEsBctpRRyT6C8BumydJA Spotify (Podcast): https://open.spotify.com/show/4X9bfdqO2PStO5w760VS0o?si=f78c31e7ad614fba Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/wearefomomusic

Ladies and gentlemen, live from hell, it's NoFomo. Fuck. Jesus Christ. How we doing, boys? A couple brain cells left? Yeah. Collective this room, probably seven, eight brain cells. Oh, I was going to go way less.

Yeah. I don't have any, so that would make you guys have a combined four and three. Yeah, we're on two hands at most. Yeah. 100%. Let's rip this fucker down. It's not going good. But we fucking show up.

If there's one thing we do, we show the fuck up. We're here as shit. I showed up precisely two hours late. Let's rip it. In the most Garrett fashion of all time, I'm here two hours late. What were you guys doing in the meantime? Just twiddling dick. Yeah.

Okay. Red hole. Red hole. Yeah. So speaking of the red hole. Red hole. Yeah. So speaking of the red hole, it's a choose your own adventure type day. So what do you want to start with? North Pole Craigslist, Sub-Saharan Africa, Thunder's Place, or engineering? Fucking North Pole Craigslist.

Yeah, fuck it. Fuck it. I don't know. Okay, so. None of that makes any sense to me. fucking North Pole Craigslist. Yeah, fuck it. Hit us with that. Fuck it. I don't know. Okay, so. I don't know. None of that makes sense to me. None of that gave me any way to prepare, so go for it.

Hit us. So for those of you that don't know, the red hole is just me at 3 a.m. on Reddit. Off 40 milligrams of Adderall. Yes, so the North Pole Craigslist, that's an actual place. Like, do people live there? Yeah, it's in Alaska.

Besides Santa? Yeah. It's called the North Pole, and these are all things you could get for one dollar on the north pole craigslist um a spray can of santa pier noel snow snow you could buy a spray can of snow for one dollar okay sounds like a steal hold on stop there for one second a spray can that sprays out snow yeah in the north pole so it's not like spray paint it like actually spray snow it sprays snow spray snow for a dollar okay that's by that yeah did you order it not yet okay because i didn't even know we could fucking do that whether or not it's north pole snow or not i want to be able to spray snow yeah so that's that's the thing that exists we got high grade silver and copper copper ore for one dollar coppola or i'd buy copper or yes we're gonna buy coppola or you could buy

moose antler buttons with no holes for a dollar moose how much do i have to pay to get the holes that wasn't an option okay fuck i could check i'm I have to pay to get the holes? That wasn't an option. Okay, fuck. I could check that. I'm out on that then. What would the holes be? I don't understand this. To be able to sew the button onto your fucking shirt. Oh, okay, okay.

So just basically a moose antler disc. Cork disc, yes. Yeah, fuck yeah. That's kind of fire. How many do I get for a dollar? I think it was like half a dozen or so. You could really ramp up an ugly Christmas sweater with those. Yeah, yeah.

So after that fuck um you could get a western pleasure horse for one dollar okay now you're gonna need to talk me through that explain because western pleasure for the record if people don't know the difference between eastern and western pleasure it's that's all hand stuff right yeah yeah so that was just a full-on ass horse but uh like a full fucking horse what the fuck is a pleasure horse i don't know when you get the fuck obviously i wish i didn't keep the link for that one but it was there why not that's the most purchasable one true for value yeah yeah we're talking bang for your buck quite literally that's what i'm going with yeah um fertile turkey eggs yes yeah i am for one dollar how much of the did you were you waiting for our

approval to buy these or you already ordered them yeah because these are because we're at an aggregate ten dollars right now and i'm we're gonna have a field day with all this shit yeah no i got them all tagged okay and uh yeah we're right after this we're purchasing every single one of these yeah so the last one was this is what it said on the post, an entire breeding bull. And when I tracked it, so last night, when I found it last night, it was $1. Now it's $8. So people are bidding. Yeah.

On Craigslist? No, they just reposted it for $8. Oh, because people are getting so many hits. Yeah. He was like, fuck, I'm going to lose money on this. Eight bucks. I'm way undercharging. Yeah.

So that's, it's the red hole. I feel like this is a bunch of like meth heads that just steal shit and they just post it for a dollar hoping to get enough money to buy more meth. Yeah. How much of this stuff could we get for a dollar worth of meth? Uh, almost all of it. Yeah.

If you send them a rock of crystal meth, you can literally have their entire home. They'll run it. But I do have to hop into thunder's place after this because you're not gonna believe oh yeah it is so is this also from the north pole or this is from thunder's place now this is just part of the red hole okay and also what subreddit are you on to find this shit um this was what the fuck did you type in the people can go digging this is like mildly interesting r slash mildly interesting okay

mildly you don't want to go interesting. Okay. Mildly. You don't want to go fully interesting. Well, no. So I saw a post from the North Pole, and then I just went to see what else is actually on there. Oh, okay. And that's the rest of that stuff. It's adding up. Fuck, yeah.

So Thunder's Place. Have you guys heard of the Full Pounder Club? No. Is that like four quarter pounders at the same time? I have a feeling this is not what I'm saying. It's not that. I can tell you it's not that. So Thunder's Place, this is the description of the website.

It's the big penis and men's sexual health source increasing penis size around the world. Okay. So it's an entire website where there's a bunch of guys trying to figure out ways to grow their meat. Like naturally? To a full pound. Yeah. A full pound of meat? Yeah, they're calling it the full pounder do we know what like what an average penis weighs um so i was looking at around a quarter pounder and under gang but okay with cheese so these guys

dicks are four times as large as yours yes yes and then mine's four times as large as yours as well so i might be in the full pounder club, but so we got a couple of key components on this website. So the best username I found was 32 quarters. So he's big. Yeah. What's that? Was he talking weight or was he talking like a roll of quarters? 32 quarters.

Like 32 quarter pounds. Cause that's eight pounds no like a stack of 30 like a roll oh yeah oh that's not very big actually i don't know we gotta see we'll have to measure that one out how many how many because when you go to buy quarters you get like ten dollars worth right and it's only like this big wait that was it yeah that was a mild flex on there yeah that's not big at all yeah that's not it's heavy well no the whole thing is they're all trying to grow it okay so no weight no they're all trying to grow their their okay in general and those this subreddit they think is where they found yeah okay so um the best technique i saw it's called the hot wrap and it's four water

soaked baby baby socks microwaved until warm why did it have to be baby socks well yeah let me get to the rest of it so four water soaked baby socks microwaved until warm then apply to your meat for about 20 minutes that was his strategy supposed to be a strategy to grow your day yeah why i i'm sorry why does it have to be a baby sock um i don't that's all how many socks was it four water-soaked baby socks why not just one regular sock are they like wrapped like four put inside of each other so it's like dense so the it's all like it doesn't make any you put them together and then you like tie it on and let it hang oh you let it hang oh like a weight yeah so the whole site is based on making your stuff longer.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Using, using homeopathic mess. Should we just try all these and let them know what works? We might have. Yeah,

probably. What else we got in there? Um, what other methods were they using? So the fire goal, goat roll, it prevents discoloration of penis enlargement by rolling your dick into a ball like dough. Okay.

Yeah, I do that every morning. Yeah. So standard enlargement causes discoloration. Some kneading. Yeah, you need to knead it. You need to kind of let it rest. There's all sorts of different practices. If you use sourdough, you've got to put it in the fridge for at least an hour.

To maintain the natural color. Yeah. You want to be a natty. You want to have that natty look. Yeah, so for most improved stats, it was Eric C. He gained 30 cubic inches. Cubic? What the fuck does that mean?

Yeah, so he recorded regular. That's volume, baby. Yeah, that's sick. Yeah, he recorded regular stats from April 2004 to August 2006. regular stats from April 2004 to August 2006 while he posted here going from 6.75 to five and a half up to a 10.75 by 7.65 whole he went from that's a brick that's a brick size that's the size of a brick so length length gain of four inches and girth gain of 2.15 holy shit yeah um i don't know do whatever he did these guys are doing incredible things no that's some big work i love that hole that you're in there yeah tricks doctors don't want you to know fuck so highlights are that he peed for about two hours a day five days a week

he began with one hour 20 minute routine like he penis enlarged? Yeah. That's what PE is. I don't know all the terminology. Yeah. You've got to break it down. Do you have like an acronym Bible where you can like, we just know. Is there a key? Yeah. Is there a key? Yeah. So there B-P-E-L is bone pressed, bone pressed erect length and B-P-F-L is bone pressed flaccid length. Okay. Like what bone-pressed? Yeah, I don't know what that is. Like up against the pubic bone. Oh, see, look at that, dude. We're learning so many things. We're learning so much. Welcome to the most,

we really are the world's smartest podcast today. Holy fuck. All right, we are going to take a quick break for a very special announcement. This podcast is now sponsored by Manscaped. Jay, take it away. Oh, hey FOMO sapiens. Support for NoFOMO is brought to you by Manscaped. Jay, take it away. Oh, hey FOMO sapiens. Support for No FOMO is brought to you by

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no FOMO, unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with manscaped. Now back to the pod now back. So I found a way to do any bird call in the world. Okay. Pick a bird. Go ahead. I'll do it. I want a parrot. A parrot? So this is me calling the parrot if I wanted to get it. Okay. For parrot, you need to cross your fingers

and it's a little bit of tongue like this. Come here, you fucking parrot. Give me another bird. A sparrow. A sparrow? Okay, that one's tougher tougher you kind of got to do a thumb thing reverse get over here you fucking sparrow it's so easy i never knew it was that easy how can those be so simple yet so effective yeah you're telling me that bird's a bird just hit the window

and i did google to confirm this is facts we open the blinds there's like 13 birds go outside don't bring any bird seed and give one of those a shot i like that fucking turkey come here that's good stuff. Let me hit one of those real quick. I also got to do probably the biggest news of the week real quick. What do you got?

Your boy's single again. Oh, wow. I can't believe we didn't even address this immediately. It needed to be addressed. Yes. I got dropped. I'm not going to go into full disclosure on everything. We don't need to go in too deep.

But the main points of being dropped were at the wedding that we were at, I was accused of flirting with all of my best friend's girlfriends in front of them. Ah, yes. In front of my best friends and my girlfriend while on the dance floor by doing things such as being like, oh, hey, it's so nice to see you. Which is boogaloo. Standard greeting. Flirtation.

Standard greeting, clearly flirting. Had to be broken up with. How could you trust me when you're not there if I'm doing such things and saying like, oh, wow, you look nice today. Yeah, like being nice to your friends' girlfriends who you are friends with. Yeah that's disgusting and i'm sorry for that i apologize you're a pig would you like yeah is that on record yeah yeah your apology to not only molly so sorry i would have broke up with me too but you should apologize to your friends too for flirting with their girlfriend oh my could you they were so mad at me they were like whoa were you just were you mildly nice to

my girlfriend dude are you like asked me to grab her a water while I was up getting water, and I brought her one. Did she just compliment her dress at a wedding, bro? Yeah, so you're a piece of shit. Absolute scumbag. So I deserve to be single. And then the other big one was I just took her to Mexico and paid for an entire trip.

And while I was on that trip, I got mad at her because I saw that she was messaging other dudes on Instagram. And somehow she mental gymnastics the fuck out of me into me apologizing for that. Well, because she didn't want to be mean to them. Yeah, she had to reply. You have to reply to these guys. You have to flirt

with them. To the fire emoji they sent to her bikini pic. Which makes sense because me being nice to my friend's girlfriend versus her being nice to random dudes online who are commenting on her pictures is very different. That's disgusting behavior. Yeah, she should have dumped you when you commented on her replying. Yeah, I'm surprised she didn't break up with me in Mexico on the trip that I paid for. Yeah, how dare you?

He sent a fire emoji. How am I not going to reply? Thanks, babe. John, what the fuck? I have to say, oh, you're looking good too. I'm surprised she was even dating you. So ladies, I just spilled the beans on how horrible I am. If you stay away, I get it.

I'm going to work on it. I'm going to work on it. Yeah, not saying run to him because obviously he's got some work to do. But he's available. And I know we've had some suitors in the comments lately, specifically for Hat Guy who's not wearing a hat today. Yeah, I should have been wearing a hat today. I keep wearing hats hoping they would think I'm Hat Guy from now on.

But yeah, just had to get that one out there. It was a fun little breakup. Nice, but you know what? You're back and better than ever. Oh, I feel so much better i feel nothing takes the load off of you quite like getting the fear of being broken up with for some bullshit yeah just taken away just taken away by getting broken up with yeah yeah it's perfect it feels good love that so you're back okay yep uh i've been getting some visits from some strange

characters uh in my sleep via sleep paralysis demons um for the last two weeks it's occurred like three separate times and i don't know if anyone has has had that happen to them before but it is fucking horrifying last night no demons but i literally thought that the house was collapsing on top of my head and i was fully awake and the house was shaking and then i like woke up in the morning i like just somehow went back to bed after that happening woke up in the morning and my like shoe rack on the opposite side of my room was completely tipped over so like something happened and i don't know what it was again it was fucking terrifying and i looked up and to see if there was like an earthquake because i literally like was like sitting up in my bed and the whole house was shaking.

But then everyone else was like, no, I didn't feel that. But the shoe rack on the opposite side of the house was tipped over. So I don't get it. The precursor to that is three days no sleep in EDC. Yeah. Yeah. I mean. You're not just being haunted by demons all the time.

That's true. He also brought up the fact that all three of us who are sleeping in the room all woke up with a. Oh, the night before. A nightmare tear that i don't remember but apparently i was the one calming everyone down in the sleep paralysis attack and i have no memory of that so there was definitely some sort of demon fucking with us if we all woke up at the same time inner workings dark inner workings happening in our lives right now yeah but we deserve it i'll tell you that last couple days we've been through it. For sure.

We'll get to the recap momentarily. Just need to get the brains working before we even try and remember any of that stuff. Yes, we will discuss our weekend at the Electric Daisy Carnival. We just wanted to make sure our brains were working before we got there. Yeah. Another one that I did a little poll for. I asked you guys to look this up. How many lifetime Lyft slash Uber calls do you have?

Oh, slash Uber? Yeah, I mean, I couldn't find the Uber ones lifetime, but I can only imagine it's probably the same as my Lyft. It's probably about the same. I have almost 600 lifetime calls. Wow. On Uber and Lyft. What about you guys?

I looked at mine and I swear to God, I'm at 420. 420? Yep. Never calling another Lyft. I'm exclusively Uber now. Yeah, I was at 433 on just Lyft. Yeah. And did you guys look at your rating?

The rating was actually pretty high. I'm 4.9. Yeah, 4.9. And mine, I can swear to you, is only 4.9 because I've taken so many with Morgue and he's been blacked out yelling at the Uber driver. Oh, yeah. I mean, I can't imagine unless we had some obscene conversation in the backseat, that I wouldn't get five stars.

Yeah. It's probably like all fives and then one, like two. It's just been bringing me down. And the reason that I wanted to look this up, because I pulled a few girls on theirs, sub-50 across. Oh, I was going to say, there's no way they're even a quarter of what we have called. Could you imagine having only called how much money that is? A few times each one by a minimum of a $10 ride.

That's fucking five grand. Four grand right there. Yeah. Yeah. But in some of them are $50. I guarantee that's over. That's probably close to $8,000. Easily.

Yeah. 20 grand. Yeah. I was just thinking how amazing it would be if you're a chick and you look at that and you're like, oh, I've called 28. Oh my God. There's been only 28 times where a boy didn't. And they were from like their house to the pregame and then everyone, the rest of that night was free.

Yeah. What is that, like three a year for 10 years? Yeah. Just a crazy low amount. Yeah. They're getting away with it. They're getting away with murder. They're getting away with absolute murder out there.

What could you do with eight grand right now? So much. Spend it all on ubers my ass to australia we're a bunch of girls around that's good stuff okay i got a fun fact for you guys if i told you there was only one animal in the sub-saharan africa that is scared of thunder what would it be this is hard for me to think of right now on two levels because i'm

struggling to think of what the fuck animals yeah that's sub-saharan africa is like hyenas and cheetahs and tigers and shit they're not tigers those are asian lions and shit right are there koalas there i want to say maybe a koala what's what's dumb enough to be afraid of thunder is that it's something you wouldn't think i bet it's like a lion or something i bet you it's a fucking bug like a cricket so giraffes are the only animal afraid of thunder because they're the only ones to get struck by lightning oh we should have figured that out they get struck by lightning yeah oh that'd be so nice to watch a giraffe just get fucking that's another part of the red hole oh my god bro what's like the population of giraffes like in the world eight i like i don't feel like there can be that many in a lightning storm not a

lot because even when you watch like planet earth and shit they don't show like a massive herd of giraffes. They might be like three or four. Yeah. Well, speaking of this, just randomly, unless we're going on about that, have you seen the new fucking, you know, there's Planet Earth. Have you seen the prehistoric planet series that's coming out? No, I want to.

It's David Attenborough fucking narrating like the regular Planet Earth dude, but it's all like CGI of like dinosaurs. So it's like Earth, like however many millions of years ago, but it looks all like cgi of like dinosaurs so it's like earth like however many millions of years ago but it looks like real as fuck so it goes through all like the different species of dinosaurs that were alive at that time and shit and like woolly mammoths it looks fucking awesome it just came out like literally yesterday i think wait have you seen the one where they show what life would be like on other planets that we know about oh that one's fucked up dude i don't like that one oh i think we tried to watch that like super hungover one day yeah and it's really fucked up yeah so

like so weird dude yeah there's like one planet with like super low air density or something so like everything would be like swimming in the sky like everything flies like a bunch of manor air so thick that they can like swim through yeah yeah so it's just a bunch of fucking like 100 100 foot long like oh i think that's the one we watched everything was just flying around like bird animal things and then like that well it's all made up though so yeah that's all conjecture at least this one's cool because it's like based off like science about like species of dinosaur we know existed yeah so it's pretty fucking cool did they in that one with the new dinosaur one do they talk about how the t-rex arms we've had them turned around the wrong way the entire time no way so they're wings right so they think like they were like they were like tiny they were like it's fucking dumb obviously we've had them turned around the wrong way the entire time. No way. They're wings, right? So they think, like, they were like...

I thought they were, like, tiny little... They were like, it's fucking dumb. We've talked about forever how dumb the little arms are. They're basically ostrich arms. They should just be turned around like wings. Oh, they're backwards. Yeah, they're backwards. They should be turned around.

Oh, fuck. They are just wings. Wing arms, but they don't fly. Well, because they talk about how they should all just actually have feathers. They're, like, closest related to birds of any species. Well, they think that we've had it wrong the whole time. They actually just had feathers. Yeah, they were all covered in feathers.

Yeah. Like raptors and shit had fucking feathers. Yeah. I hope they talk about that. Yeah. One more thing about the giraffes though. How many giraffes have to be hit by lightning for them to instinctively be afraid of it?

It's got to be a lot. Like, is it only the giraffes that saw someone get hit by lightning oh fuck hey watch out for lightning like they're spreading the word or is it deep down in their genes because they have to know well because think about think about like how little like tree coverage there is there too so like the tallest thing there is just a giraffe every time and they like because lightning hits the closest tall thing how many times that have to happen for them to have that in their... Well, what's their lifespan? That might be the only cause of death.

Only... The only way a giraffe can die is by lightning strike. It says there's approximately 68,000 left in the world. The population has declined 40% in the last 30 years. All because of lightning. They're just getting murked. Giraffe lifespan is about 25 years.

It says one to lightning strike. Until the heavy lightning storm. One until they forget to duck. Might be fake news. We don't know. We don't know yet. Who's even seen that happen imagine if you saw that that'd be fucking insane one of those time lapse cameras just in the middle of the desert it's just a crisped up fucking giraffe carcass that you find like still standing lightning

completely torched it's like a glass now or how does it work with sand nope that's i know where you're going with that but nope no that's how it works what's sand well when sand gets struck by lightning it turns into glass when you heat up sand it turns into glass yeah it doesn't have to get struck by glass right well has anyone ever heated up a giraffe no besides like i bet they turn to glass that's how they make those big giraffes are made of sand is the problem yeah well duh we knew right into glass so i saw a good comparison you know that the whole ufo the whole ufo thing that's going on right now yeah they released the statement yeah so more you can't get over

talking about i can't get over fucking ufos dude. Every day. It's pretty crazy. Every day during EDC, he's like, dude, did they talk about the UFOs yet? Well, what did that exactly do? Did anyone stop in the middle of their set to talk about UFOs? Yeah, in the middle of a fucking set, it gets like a break. And he's like, did the UFO break? I got nothing for you. Did they take a UFO break? Wait, so all they said was that we know there have been them and they're not.

Well, they declared it a national security threat. That was the new thing. Because they told us UFOfos are real like eight months ago and that did got the big kicker out from this most recent pentagon release was that they are declaring them a potential national security threat which i mean yeah yeah if there's shit flying around there that could be from another planet i'd say yeah if aliens are real it's a threat because we fucking suck and they probably want to kill it up so quickly well so yeah i was thinking of like a good way to like think about it so if the earth or if the universe is 13.7 billion years old and we've only been around for 300,000 so that's only like 0.002 percent of the time less than that yeah so like the comparison is like

way less than that like imagine if we drove around a drove i can't even speak today hell get a fucking grip so imagine if we like drove a speed boat around like a fucking one of those tribes in the rainforest sure it'd be like the same kind of thing in terms of like the time that we've been around sure i didn't explain that very well no that would make fucking sucked yeah that didn't make any sense imagine if oh along with like that the like tribes in the rainforest shit do you see this cave that they found like not that long ago it's like they found like 1995 or whatever it's a cave that could fit like new york city in it? It's like six miles long. Oh, I did see that. And we just found this like pretty recently. And like this guy was talking about, he's like,

how could there not be more shit like that? That it has like a tribe of people that kind of like low-key lives in it and just comes out and we've never found them. Stained in there forever. Yeah, because it has like 12 different ecosystems where like the top of the cave has fallen through and there's light that gets through

and there's like a shit ton. thing in china where there's like a there's like a full-on subterranean forest uh i don't know i think it's in yeah it's in like laos or some shit i thought they just found something like literally a couple months ago that was like very similar to what you're talking about so it could be the same thing this contains like potentially thousands of species that we've never seen before oh yeah they're they still are fucking figuring yeah it must it's got to be the same thing did you see the pictures of it looks like a literal rainforest under the ground i did not see the picture so i wonder if this is a newer thing yeah but yeah just on our planet we had we don't know what the fuck's going on but as far as the ufos go

i mean yeah no fuck it's a a security threat. We've known that. We've known since the beginning of forever that aliens could be bad for us. Yeah, definitely could be bad for us. It could be bad for you. If trans fats are bad for us, aliens are definitely bad for us. If they haven't fucked us up by now, I think we're kind of sure.

Underground forest found in China. Let's see this. Scientists discovered inside a giant sinkhole in China. An aerial photo taken in 2020 shows scenery of a giant sinkhole. Okay, so this is a new one. This is a new one. Oh, fuck us. Found earlier this month

with over 100 foot tall trees inside of it. Just fucking it's a fucking rainforest under the ground. I'm trying to find the dude we see yeah if we still haven't found that shit

like we thought we knew where everything was on the earth 630 feet deep and spans 176 million cubic feet yep yep

aliens are dangerous yeah oh my god moral of the story it's characterized as a tropical rainforest under the fucking ground i would love to see what that fucking ufo report like what they actually saying is like

hey uh yeah we still haven't figured out what these fucking flying saucers are they could probably blow up the earth yeah yeah what is the exact threat is what i'm curious like that i think they're gonna fucking that is gonna be mind-blowing to us like oh never thought of that yeah i've seen the movies you guys i know we're how this have you ever seen doomsday yeah they could if they were gonna fuck us up though they would have done it or they're just waiting for us to they're thinking we are gonna figure it out at some point that they're not figuring shit out like. Like, this brings me to the thing I was mentioning earlier. Have you seen Love, Death, and Robots on Netflix? No, I haven't watched it.

There's a new season coming out, though. It just came out. I watched the whole thing yesterday. It's all fire. Really? So the whole, like, thing of the show is, like, they just imagine, like, future scenarios, like, of what happens with Earth.

And one of them that they go through is, like, they have these three robots that are like touring the earth after our like demise to like see what happened and they're showing all the different ways that we like try to survive when shit goes down so it goes through like poor people and it's like the rednecks living in like a bunker and then it goes to like richer people who like have like a cooler option and then like the super rich people who like blast off to Mars or whatever, and one of the robots is just like,

if all these people are super rich and could make shit to go to Mars, why didn't they just spend the money to fix this planet? And the robots are just like, well, that's just dumb as shit. And that's us, right? That's probably what the aliens are thinking about us right now is they're like, they've got the tech. They've got the money. They've got the money. They've got the technology and resources.

They could probably figure this out on their own. Let's just bail. I think they got this. Yeah, keep watching for another 100 years. Let's go to another desperate planet where they're not as wealthy. And then they see my fucking Reddit searches and they're just like, what the fuck? They're like, nope, they're fucked. They're fucked.

This guy's on mildly interesting Reddit trying to buy stuff from a dollar. This guy's looking at how to make a coffee with a fucking baby sock oh why didn't i go super interesting reddit that was my most confused part you're like semi sort of interesting somewhat interesting reddit oh in other news um this was just i forgot about this part of my riddle there's uh this group of it's like one of the engineering Reddits. They made a self-driving goldfish car. So, like, it's a car with a little tank on top, and whatever way it swims, the car goes.

The goldfish swims? Oh, that's fucking fire. Is there a video of that? Yeah, there is. I need to fucking see that. Are you kidding me? I don't know what the use is for that. Whatever direction.

Oh, you think there's a practical use for that well let's see where it goes i'm driving goldfish car yeah it's a thing that's fucking gas what they need to do is turn that into like a roomba yeah operated by a goldfish or we need to have elon musk take over that segment 100 well yeah i mean we've we're still waiting on tesla's to figure it out let's just see what goldfish do. Yeah. Yeah. Put those in the driver's seat. Imagine a couple of those on a freeway.

Yeah. And they go, and the cars immediately accelerate to full velocity the way they go. But the thing is, they'd be chilling because they're in water. So it would just be kind of fun to watch a little demolition derby of goldfish. Had to be strong glass though. Fair. Yeah.

Maybe like bubble rapid or something. Definitely. I was thinking about this one. If Pokemon were real, which ones do you think we would eat? I'm not super versed on the entire pokemon universe i didn't play it a ton growing up like i'm a fan that sucks for you yeah i mean let me pull up some pokemon here the most edible i mean i know which one i'd fuck bulbasaur bulbasaur yeah interesting joys yeah why that one it's fucking hot have you seen i know we've all seen I've tried to pull this up

for more I've watched it like 50 times the guy who does the smasher pass for all the Pokemon no so he just goes screen by screen

and he's like smash for each one it's gold for every Pokemon but there's a guy who did off of that he made

like a sexy drawing of each Pokemon and did a smasher pass and that one's impossible to just smash across the board. Smash across the board. It's like sexy Pikachu. You're like,

ooh, yeah, smash that thing. I'm going to crumble. That thing's thick as shit. I'm in. Okay, so there are some Pokemon that are,

for sure you're eating. It's the Pidgey. Those are just the regular bird ones. Pidgey is the new chicken. Yeah. Rattat eating those like a rat yeah pretty much just a rat there there isn't there like a cow one like we'd probably still eat that one cow we mon okay how i think it's called mill tank oh yeah look at this guy mill tank yeah mill tank you need to fuck oh he's cute as fuck i don't know if i could eat him, dude. Which one? Miltank's super cute.

Oh, I mean, they're all cute, but so is a cow low-key. What's the big sleepy one? Snorlax. Snorlax, so cute. Can never eat that guy. Back to the ones I'd fuck. Fuck. Yeah, Snorlax is a whole vibe.

That's me this whole week, bro. I mean, I did think we were were gonna go down a things i would fuck thing here so i have this pulled up prepared a list smasher pass uh disney characters oh yes princess edition just disney chicks yeah oh first one on here is um the chick from ratatouille um fuck i've never seen that one all the way through you never seen ratatouille that's probably like the best one that's literally my favorite disney movie oh that's pixar i guess technically but it's disney rocks ratatouille is your favorite disney movie that it's price ratatouille is dumb i'm not saying it's not good jay yeah no dumb dumb as in that's

yeah dumb as in it's good it's probably the one i've seen the most by far you've never and it came out when we were like we're watching that after this. I've watched that more than some of the ones I watched when I was a little kid. I used to watch Finding Nemo on a loop. Finding Nemo was fire. With my little brother. Might as well, yeah. Because it came out at an age. All right.

Toy Story was my guess. Mark doesn't know that one. I'll go to the next one here. Well, first of all, hold on. It's like the girl that works at the restaurant. Yeah. Yeah, no, Smash. Yeah, easy Smash.

Edna Mode. Smash. If we're being real no but like i want to smash easy um this one's an easy one miss is incredible oh my god the easiest smash is there a was there something i could do harder than smash i've never seen obliterate wait can she spread those cheeks like that yeah she can do anything like with the limbs you could she could probably you could just climb in there yeah open it up climb in there and just she's elastic girl dude true just karate that shit would be i can't even get into it um the chick from lilo and stitch oh god and by the chick i mean the alien dressed up as the chick.

Smash. I thought we're talking about Lilo cause she's a little girl for the record. No, no, no, no, no, no,

no. Well, that's what I thought you were saying. I was going to say no. I was definitely going to say no. The alien. When he dressed up as the girl. I don't remember.

That's a pass for you. Do you have a picture? No, you don't get it. All right, fuck you. I'm going to look her up. What's her name? Uh, I don't remember. Do you have a picture? No, you don't get it. All right, fuck you. I'm going to look her up. What's her name?

I don't know what the alien's name is. From, what the fuck is the one with the dogs? 101 Dalmatians? No, when they suck up the spaghetti and kiss each other. Oh, Lady and the Tramp. So, Lady? Lady. Smash. Lady the Cocker Spiegel? I'm i'm not gonna lie they sexed out that dog let me look at her

that's an easy one oh yeah she's cute give me a whole bowl of spaghetti i'm going to do you have to you have to take into account that dogs only live to an age that's unacceptable. Not in dog years. Ooh, fair. All right, smash. The one, I forget the name of the movie, the one where they're journeying to find the fucking Atlantis. I think it's just called Atlantis. Atlantis, that chick. Let me take a look.

The like alien or the. The Disney Atlantis movie? Yeah, the Disney, the girl. Oh, she's bad. Oh, she's bad. The one with the face paint. Oh, smash. Let me show you, let me show you, let me show you. Oh, she's bad. Oh, she's bad. The one with the face paint. Oh, Smash. Let me show you, let me show you, let me show you.

Yeah, she's bad as shit. Smash. Smash. See you later. Easy Smash. She's like, nice. Oh, my God. Might need an age check there, but Smash.

I think she's old enough. This next one's a tough one. The mom gorilla from Tarzan. Oh, God. Smash. Jane. Jane from Tarzan is 100%. No, that one's too easy. Tarzan oh god smash Jane Jane from Tarzan is a hundred percent no that one's too easy Tarzan smash um Emperor's New Groove the evil chick oh I hate her dude she's literally that is like the

one of the one of the characters of all the Disney movies that like haunted my Emperor's New Groove is kind of actually we should we watch that already I don't love that I don't like Emperor's New Groove I don't like I don't know something about the animation style of that one when he talks to the squirrel like I don't know when does the squirrel talk do the squirrel thing more I don't love Emperor's New Groove

squirrel? squiggity squiggity squiggity fuck I don't remember you don't remember that? no I remember that part but I don't remember exactly wait I gotta find this

oh squiggity oh the the Gronk? yeah Gronk squiggity squiggity fuck that's good I missed that we might have to go on a rampage and just watch those oh Yzma that's good I miss that

we might have to go on a rampage oh Yzma that's the girl's name she's fucking scary dude I don't fuck with her yeah she's pretty frightening oh no

oh no no no I would not smash smash smash Dory smash yeah and then she wouldn't remember

so you get to go you get to just round up your run it back it's like 50 for states Yeah, and then she wouldn't remember, so you get to go and get rid of it. You get to just round up your run. Run it back? It's like 50 First Dates. Oh, fuck. I always thought about how fucked that movie is, the 50 First Dates one,

because he has the clip of how they're in love. You could just make that up. Yeah, right? You don't have to go through that. You could have just started that movie off with, like, we're married and in love. Yeah, is that a cancelable movie these days? No. He doesn't do anything wrong.

It's a wholesome movie. She doesn't know you. Well, she... You just get to watch a little tape that brainwashes you into being in love with you every morning. And she's scared every morning. Where am I? You guys are getting dark with that. It's a cute movie. Alright, alright, alright.

The Secretary from Monsters, Inc. Ooh, fucking what's her name? With the dope hair piece? The slug one with like the little, yeah, with the faux hawk. Mike, what's up? Just imagine her saying, Gary Bumper. I'm going to go pass.

You're going to go pass? Oh, that's the one? That's my first pass. Her name is Roz. Roz. Fuck, there's a lot more on here than I thought there were going to be. I think we're going to have to cut it short. We're going to have to cut it there.

That's fair. That was fair. Okay, I want to start with John's honest review of of the daisy carnival oh god my honest as your first as being your first time yeah first time there not being a huge dance music fan what what did you honestly think i think i kind of sort of almost got into it yeah like i'm sure there's some videos of me all fucking crazed out like having a I had a great time I had a great time I slept 10 minutes like if I was having a bad time I probably would have like went back to

RV and slept I mean you didn't but there were two days I didn't do that so I would say it was definitely a good time I mean you look like you were having a fucking blast honest review having fucking it actually like a carnival where you can go on rides and shit like cause there's so much to do besides the music aspect of it.

Yeah, if you want to take a little break. Like, we went on the swings. Yeah, the swings were dank. I took Morg on the zipper for the first time. Which one? The zipper is the one, it's like a big, long thing with cages. And so that spins and the cages spin independently of that. Oh, and I hit my fucking head.

And I try to explain how it works to him because we're both fucked up and we're on there. I'm like, hey, this is going to flip over. Brace yourself. And he's just sitting there like, dude, I'm too scared. I don't want to be on this. And the first time it goes around and starts to speed up, his whole body just lifts up.

Oh, fuck. That's why my fucking head hurts. I'm just sitting there literally next to him just like, yes! Yes! I will say that fucking spinny thing we went on was actually the worst decision we made. Oh, that was a horrible call. That was fucked up. This one? Yeah, the one that we were joking about, oh, that would be fucked up to go on.

That looks fucked up. I would never do that. Well, we did it. The gravity machine? Yeah. Where it literally just sucks you against the wall. I was so scared. I was trying to look to the left to him. As soon as you turn your head a little bit it shoves your head this way because you're like pinned like this so then you're just like struggling to get it back to center and that was at the point where we were legitimately the most fucked up the whole weekend yeah we had just taken a shit ton of shit we took like soul and we were having a great we're just

fucking monster walking around the whole place t-rexing around the crowd but i actually like freaked out on that ride. Because it just, when you think it's done, it starts tilting up. And it starts going faster. And I was like, oh my God, this is another like three full minutes. I'm going to freak the fuck out. That one could have been half as long. Oh yeah.

That was fucking miserable. Wish I could have been on that one. But yeah, honest review, I'd do it again for sure. Okay. That's what I wanted to know. I got to hear my one song that I knew the whole weekend. Which one was that? The Don't Keep Me Waiting side piece one. Oh yeah, banger. I wasn't there for that. That's on me. Yeah Missing so many goddamn time

Same thing at Coachella. You just didn't help that I didn't have my phone both the times Yeah, you're just even if you did have it you wouldn't know I could find a way around you're an absolute menace Do we start with just the fucking RV ride, getting there? That was probably the scariest. Okay. So let's put it this way. No one who we went with. So we took an RV because they have the RV camping, which was like the best call ever.

But getting there, no one looked at like the RV check-in times or anything. We just sent it at like what? 10 p.m. We decided we were just going to go. We left at like what? 10 p.m.? We decided we were just going to go. Yeah. We left at like 9 or 10 p.m. Stopped at Costco along the way. And while we're like walking back to the RV, I decided to look up like the rules to see if we could bring like glass bottles in.

And then I find like the check-in ends at 2. And we're over four hours away and it's 10 o'clock at night. So we weren't going to make it to the check-in, which means we'd have to sleep in the RV just on the side of the road. Which looking back on it wouldn't have been the worst. No, it wouldn't have. But Aiden, who was driving us, decides that he's just going to go 85 miles per hour in a 40-foot RV in the fast lane the whole drive there. And 50 mile an hour winds. Which was literally the scariest drive of my fucking life.

Well, and the fucked up part about that is after i started driving i looked at the speedometer it only goes to 80 yeah oh no it goes to 85 like that was pinned the whole time and that is yeah that was that's how we get we went through all that gas on the way there yeah because he was flooring it oh we're lucky we didn't blow up the whole fucking thing yeah absolutely because on the way back we barely went through half a tank the rv our entire preparation was trash from that from not planning on we need to get there at the right time to driving 100 miles i mean the costco run that was the worst costco run we've ever made in our entire life fucking bought mac and cheese we bought so we buy we thought we were getting easy mac i think for the record but we get regular mac and cheese but

didn't buy milk didn't buy butter and like you have to cook that on the stovetop not just in the microwave so we like had pots and pans in a stove, but we had no liquid to put in it. And our RV was out of water. Yeah, we didn't even have water from the first day we got there. We did eat a dry box mac and cheese, though. We did eat a dry box.

Not just eat. What else did you do with that? What else did you do with it? Oh, yeah, snorted the line of cheese. You racked out a line of the powdered cheese. Somebody said I wouldn't do it. Yeah, someone did say, for the record, someone did say you won't, so you had to. Which is all it takes.

But, like, yeah, the food preparation was terrible. Like, I was so lazy, I just ate, like, a whole dry bagel, like, three separate times. To sum up our entire purchases, we brought bread in eight different forms with nothing to put on it. Oh, cream cheese we did bring but we left it out all night the first night soup we got a bunch of soup for 100 degree weather ramen yeah nothing that you want more blasted out after no sleep than a thing of soup hot fucking ramen yeah and uh alcohol that was it that was it that was literally all we brought oh and liquid iv and water but in better news gar Garrett married two people this month.

Yeah, I didn't personally marry. I was the reverend for two separate weddings. So one was a couple weeks ago, which we talked about last episode. And this time was our friend Forbes and some girl he met at EDC. At 6 o'clock in the morning on the last day. They met a day before two days before I think they'd known each other

from like Arizona but they weren't like I think he met I think he said he met her last EDC no they they knew each other from cause they went to college

together in Arizona I guess oh really but like they didn't they weren't like good friends so yeah he pretty much the fuck up part about that

was simply like it would've been okay if we did it just as a semi-joke like we did the man because they have the they have the chapel there at edc was the fucked up part was that we drafted up a semi-serious prenup agreement that they both signed and a semi-serious like marriage contract that they both signed license that they wait what do you mean we drafted up a prenup like maddie just typed one out of a prenup and they both signed it she typed out a prenup yeah

yes this is a which is the only smart part of that i'm telling you this was a real wedding it was like they're actually maybe married like they are technically married wait but how so they printed out from the phone or what no No, they just have electronic sign it, their name in it. Yeah. Yeah. Like it was, it's a legal contract.

Well, something, something they actually signed. I think that they brought up a finger, the prenatal sign with their finger. How does that work? The prenup just said like they, they both agreed they weren't entitled to each other's assets.

So it says like neither of us are entitled to any of each other's assets. Even in the event of a divorce or whatever and both signed it. Oh, that'll stand in court. Yeah. No, it actually would. I mean, and if it does. So what's the next step for them?

You get it annulled? I mean, if they move in. Oh, yeah. We'll start a family. What are you talking about? Like if they actually want it, I just have to sign it as well. So because I was there

and we witnessed it and everything. Yeah. And I know the best part was. so i just had a little spiel you know we're gathered here today blah blah and then i go uh do either of you have any vows you'd like to say and forbes instead of looking at the girl looks around at all of us his friends he goes i love you boys that was his mouth and we were just like nice didn't say a word to her because I fucking love you boys Jesus Christ yeah then uh they they kissed and that was that was it the rings were exchanged whole deal again no there was a full ring exchange everything they were made out of foil but

oh yeah that's true technically a place does count and was it that night that he took a shit while the toilet seat was down no that was the night before oh no that's true. Technically a placeholder. It does count. And was it that night that he took a shit while the toilet seat was down? No, that was the night before. Oh no, that's why it makes the marriage also more real because he blacked out, threw up all over the RV, slept shit on the toilet. On top of the toilet. On top of the seat. Slept there for three hours completely naked,

sitting up. And then she wipes his ass, puts on his pants, gets him out of the bed, lays next to him, fanning him for five hours. She was a trooper, man. Like, he should have married her, honestly. Yeah, I don't blame him. That girl, he'll never find a girl better than that.

Plot twist? They stayed married, dude. Bro, he was. What do you mean plot twist? That's the main plot. The amount of times yesterday on the couch he kept saying, I miss my wife, and he's, like, texting her. Oh, and get this. So she left her ID in his wallet on accident maybe.

So like they have to meet up again soon. Yeah. She needs that back. And she also left a Polaroid photo of them two kissing like in his fucking wallet. He like goes in his wallet. He's like, bro, she planted some seeds on me, bro. Oh my God. I love how when we got back after everything he's like dude she's already

like posting pictures and tagging me yeah i was like oh you're married bro that's not that's not weird you got married to her he's like i don't know she's being kind of clingy i was like i don't know the marriage was kind of he calls me when we're at fucking lee fox he's like we're heading to the chapel meet us there all right let's do this thing. I thought Morg was going to get married too. Yeah, Jesus. To what? To the stripper. The stripper. Oh. I've never seen your eyes light up more than when she said that.

I just don't get how that came up in conversation. It was very casually we were talking about because we were all fucked up sitting around the table and we were just talking about where we were from, what we did, and then it was her turn. She's like, oh, I'm from Denver. And she's like, I'm a dancer.

And I was like, oh, what kind of dancing? And she's like, I work at a club. And I was like, oh, so like a stripper? And she's like, yeah, I'm a stripper. Wow. And that was the most words she said. We'd been hanging out for two days at that point and she said maybe eight words prior to that

and then she just drops that bomb. Wow. Where did you find this lady? One of the pool parties oh really yeah it's good vibes good vibes uh you know i was thinking about earlier with morg talking about how he got lost half the time is there a way to devise like a better contact system for while you're at something like this i think you need walkie talk this. I think you need walkie talkies, like long range, like legit walkie talkies. Like there has to, I feel like there could be something that comes with the concert though.

Oh, for sure. Like there could be like a group wifi. Like, well, there was wifi in there. Yeah, but it just,

it was only in one area. It barely worked half the time, but I don't get why they don't have like some sort of like, or like a call box, wifi pods all over the place like where you could make it work if they have the drones in the air then you could have where's the starlink at you know what I mean it needs to be something because like the process of trying to if you get lost for a half a second you're gone it's oh yeah dude you literally could

turn around and all of a sudden your group's gone and good luck or we need to come up with some sort of text like universal text language to explain where you're at because when you're fucked up and on the phone and you're just yelling back at each other where are you no where are you seriously i'm over here you're over here where are you it's so bad it's the most and you go like right side circuit grounds like bro there's a fucking there's 5 000 people over on that side bro if i text you at a music festival and you, there's a fucking 80,000 people on that side of the stage. Bro, if I text you at a music festival and you don't say a fucking, like, a star is right above you,

then I'm not finding you. And that was a terrible analogy, but fuck it, I might as well find you. No, you need, like, a legit, like, landmark you can see. GPS coordinates. Yeah. Well, at least a speaker stand. No, I think it's got, I think for right now, the only thing is

you would need like long range walkie talkies would be the way it's gotta be something we gotta come up that would be our next idea that we come up with and make some money

or but I did meet a guy that put a six digit phone number in my phone and I never found him again so oh yeah like we're missing a number here pal

so all in all a fucking great time yeah fuck we had four of our tracks played on the main stage this year how fucking epic yeah

I didn't know when they were coming on or that they happened because yeah were you even with me yeah no I was we were right next to each other

but we didn't know we were we didn't know we were that's right for the first one then the other one we weren't there but we knew it's pretty dope

this one here so we've talked about like how to blind people dream do you think people who have like just visual impairments do you think they dream in like their blurry ass vision or their corrective vision well i don't like does anyone here wear glasses i don't know i that's why i'm i don't know i don't wear glasses fuck your dreams are just all ass. Yeah. Like do you, do you think you fix it in your dream? Like, are you wearing your glasses? Like, do you think in their dreams are like, Oh fuck, hold on a second. No, I think all their dreams are them trying to find their glasses.

Where am I? Contact that bro. Fuck. Fuck a whole fucking time looking for their glasses but I mean it's kind of hard to even explain whether or not you were seeing in your dreams that's true like you're not really like it's not like your vision it's kind of like these weird cloudy

it's like you know what it would look like but you're not actually seeing I guess that's true because it's not like actually looking through your eyes what do we say about blind people dreamy we were wrong about everything i think oh fuck i don't remember the consensus i remember we we put that one in the talk and it was us talking about it and every comment was like you're fucking dumb as shit so they're right yeah when you're right you're right when you're So they're right. Yeah.

When you're right, you're right. When you're right, you're right. This is another one like that. All right. So we know we have like our internal voice, right? That we listen to. Are we the internal voice or are we the person who listens to the voice? We're the perceiver.

You're the perceiver. So who's the voice? I mean, I think the voice is like you're. Like is it you to you or is it someone telling you? I think the internal voice is just you thinking. No, no, because you don't control it. But you're listening to it also, right? So who are you telling if you're the voice? I think it's like your rational brain versus like your subconscious brain. I don't control it. But you're listening to it also, right? So who are you telling if you're the voice? I think it's like your rational brain versus like your subconscious brain.

I don't fucking know. So it's you to you? Yeah. It's you versus you? Yeah. You versus you. It's always me versus me. Think about it.

Yeah. Is it though? I think part of it's like- It's just it when it- I know what I should be doing, but this is what I'm going to do. It's not always you to you. I don't think it can always be you to you. How often is it you to you?

Because there's definitely scenarios where that internal voice is going and you're like, nah, fuck that. But that's because I think it's like you know, you analyze multiple angles of what the scenario is. So you're like, I know what I should, what would be the most right thing to do, what would be be okay to do and what would be the wrong thing to do so i guess it's more like we're just two you're two voices yeah like it's the one that's talking you telling you what to do and then there's the person there's also you again being like decisions that

makes sense but like i don't really feel like listening to you today you're kind of yeah this guy's being a bus guy's being lame me every day you kind of suck shit today the amount of time so amount of time someone was telling me you really need more right now and i mean i drank more i did more with it that's you to you that's me to me yeah yeah you see i heard a lot of that motherfucker and i didn't listen to a word he said yeah sleep would be a good idea right now oh you saw vintage cultures playing at 6 a.m.? Let's run it. We did it. We did it.

Well, what do you say we get some sleep, huh? I'm going to watch Ratatouille, but... Yeah. Me every day. FOMO News, we just dropped a new fucking track today. It's called Hey Mr. DJ. It's a fucking banger. Go check it out on Spotify. Other than that... We have a show.anger. Go check it out on Spotify. Other than that.

We have a show. We have a show at Academy on Saturday up in Hollywood. That's Saturday the 28th, I believe. Yeah. Yep. And then other than that, just shoot us a like, comment, subscribe. Send in those questions. Follow us.

Yeah. Send in some fucking interesting shit for next week when our brains are functioning at least half as good. Yeah, that would be nice. Yeah. Other than that, good night. Good night. Get some fucking water.

All right.