NO FOMO - 30. Getting Adopted By Sydney Smith

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

Welcome Back Fomosapiens. This week we met with our actual Mom, the lovely, Sydney Smith. Over the course of several feeding breaks we breakdown Do's and Don'ts of picking up on milfs, how to be the perfect sugar baby, and everything in between.   Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO.   Support the Podcast: Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code NOFOMO at MANSCAPED.com! 🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/nofomopod 🔔 Subscribe: https://linktr.ee/nofomopod 🎽 Merch: https://www.bonfire.com/store/no-fomo/ 

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back, back, back, back to the motherfucking FOMO show. No FOMO. What's up FOMO sapiens and welcome to another episode of No FOMO. If you like the show and want to see more, make sure to follow us on socials at nofomopod underscore on IG and at FOMOMusic underscore on TikTok. And if you want to hear the extended version of this episode, head on over to patreon.com slash nofomopod. Let's get into it. Ladies and gentlemen, live from Los Angeles, it's No FOMO, with the three strongest boys in the world and their mother.

Hello. We have the real Sid Smith here with us today, aka the internet's only mommy. Only mom. Yes. We are so excited to have you. I'm so excited to be here, boys. Seriously, thank you so much.

It's the first time we've met our mom in person. That's crazy. We kind of feel like I've been feeling like an orphan for the last 27 years. You know, I'm so sorry, sweetie. I really truly am because the last time I saw you was when I birthed you. Yeah. And that was 27, 28 years ago. I didn't remember that, so it's good to finally read you.

It's so nice to finally, like, you know, remember this. We're going to build some memories for sure. Today memories will be made. Am I momstruck, dude? Is that a new thing? We got 27 years of life to make up for. We do. Oh my God.

In one episode. Does that make today the last Mommy of the Week we're going to do? This is our last Mommy of the Week? Yeah, so we usually do a recurring segment

of Mommy of the Week and this is the last one we're doing because you are actually officially the mommy for the rest of eternity. Should we do the goodie bags? Yeah, let's do the goodie bags.

We got everyone to do the goodie bags. I have mommy with a heart. You guys have hearts or just mommy? Just mommy. Okay. Should we do the goody bags now? Yeah, let's do the goody bags. We got everyone some goody bags. I have Mommy with a heart. Do you guys have hearts or just Mommy? Just Mommy. Okay. So we got Gary. Wait, should we do one at a time?

Yeah. We got Gary, Morgie, and John. Should I go first? Yeah, go first. I'm so excited. Okay. Oh my God. Best fucking mom ever.

Are you joking? Oh my God. I'm going to use this every fucking day. Yeah, you are. Mommy loves her coffee.? Oh my God. I'm going to use this every fucking day. Mommy loves her coffee. I love my coffee. I'm a little cracked out right now already.

Yeah, me too. Oh my God, what else? Shut the fuck up. World's best mom. You guys. That's good. It's the last Mommy of the Week.

It's the Mommy of the Week. So for all of you that look forward to the Mommy of the Week segment, it's never happening again. Actually, we'll just recurringly say her every single week.

Can I leave it right here for everyone to see? Is this good? Can we see that in the shot? Can we see it? We can move the cheese balls. My ego is so boosted right now. I feel like the hottest mom ever. Also, if you're only listening, just go watch it, dude.

Yeah, this is one that you're going to want to watch on the YouTubes. You've got to see it. This is the one. Should we get ours out? Yeah, we can do all of ours at the same time. So we got ourselves some gifts. Actually, they're from you. You got us these. Oh, I actually, yep. Should we get ours out? Yeah, we can do all of ours at the same time. So we got ourselves some gifts. Actually, they're from you. You got us these.

Oh, I actually, yep. So we got some babies. Yours is... Well, I have a girl's name, so I got to be the... Morgan. Morgan. Morgan. Do you guys like your bibs?

We've got our babas. Oh, good. Your babas. We've got some bubbles. We got bubbles, dude. And we got biggies. You got some bubbles. We've got bubbles, dude. And we've got binkies. You've got some bubbles?

Yes. Dude, I saw those at Bonds. I was like, bubbles for $1.99? That's a steal. Yeah, I'm getting bubbles. That's a steal. Oh, my God, the Baba's. I would totally drink them.

Oh, wow, you have a different, you've got a long little squirter. Oh, no, they're all like that. They're just inverted. Oh, they're inverted. Oh, like an inverted nipple. Why is it so aggressively long? Yeah they're all like that. They're just inverted. Oh, they're inverted. Oh, like an inverted nipple. Why is it so aggressively long? Yeah, that's really long. Huh.

Baby need milky. Baby need milky. Are you guys thirsty? I am. You know, I just ran out of my own supply of milk, but I'll recharge for later. Yeah, go ahead and charge up. I'd like at least one swig before the end of the show.

All right, I got you. We'll pump at the end. We'll pump. We'll do a full one. We'll do a full one. Studio guy's like, what is going on, dude? All right, I got you. We'll pump at the end. We'll pump. We'll do a full one pump. Studio guy's like, what is going on, dude? He's like, where am I? We have a producer in here for the first time ever,

so it'll be interesting to see what someone thinks of our jackassery. All right. And the milk. Now that we're in proper attire. Love. I feel, yep, I'm going to. Morgan, you want to start us off? You guys look so good.

Wow. You have shades, Johnny? I didn't go shades. No shades today? He wants to reveal his good. Wow. Obsessed. Do you have shades, Johnny? I didn't go shades. No shades today? He wants to reveal his eyes. Yeah. They are looking nice on this beautiful lighting that we have. I'm obsessed.

This is unreal. So can we have mommy address us by our new names for the episode? Gary, Johnny, and Morgie? Yeah. Yes. New names? Gary, Johnny, and Morgie. Yeah.

Those are our baby names for the episode. Goo Goo Gaga. Gary, Johnny, Morgie yeah new names Gary, Johnny and Morgie yeah those are our baby names for the episode Gary, Johnny, Morgie Morgie has pink because it's a girl's name but we don't identify yeah I love whoever you are he's not a mizzle

not a binary I'm just me today in the glasses match yeah okay so you're really you have your feminine energy coming out yes

he's fully in character Morgie is in character love wait why are these things so fucking long yeah honestly yeah like I don't you have your feminine energy coming out. Yes. He's fully in character. Morgie is in character. Love. Wait, why are these things so fucking long? Yeah, honestly, this isn't that fast. Yeah, like I don't. Because a baby's mouth is not that long. It puts my nipples to shame.

Where did you order these out? It doesn't feel like this is what a baby would actually use. Some weird factory. China. It's from China. It's used. Ew. Can you imagine?

All right, so you want to just get started about talking about how we discovered our mom? I would love to know this. Yes, and how this whole thing came to be. Yeah, we discovered mom just because the TikTok algorithm just gets us. Yeah, it knows what we're looking for. They know.

They have it figured out, that's for sure. For you. That for you really, really worked. That hashtag came in handy. When it's a shared or TikTok account between three people, it really gets a dial in. Yeah. It really took all three of our personalities molded into one.

And our entire feed just became you. I think the first one I saw was the spit one. Have you guys seen that one? Oh yeah, you showed me the spit one. Yeah, that's cool. That was like a year ago actually. Was it?

Yeah, I was in Palm Springs in that, like on a like a year ago actually was it? yeah I was in Palm Springs in that like on a sweaty power walk classic but yeah yeah it was like a comment that said

mom can you spit in my mouth or something yeah and you replied to it I was like I don't know like

and like just I don't know what came over me it kind of just happened and a lot of the stuff that I do is improv so actually like all of it is

so we're gonna stitch that one that's one of our TikTok ideas we're gonna stitch it and catch it and catch catch it oh my god you know i'll repost yeah yeah but um uh what happened after that well you want to give them the uh the life hack of getting anyone's attention on oh yeah the life hack so i was like we'd have to have her on so i headed over to instagram and then i just liked every photo ever.

It actually didn't let me like all of them. It maxed you out at like 50. Yeah, I did like 50 or so. Wow, they're protected. Go back another day. Yeah, it's a life hack. So they can't not notice 50 notifications. No, I noticed.

She noticed. I was like, these guys are consistent and I respect it. Consistent and persistent. And persistent. That's the word, persistent. But also consistent. Yeah, both are key. When did you guys come across me on TikTok?

Like this a few months ago? Probably when we started our group TikTok, right? For the podcast. Yeah, like a month after. Like February. Okay. So yeah. We've been on you since the beginning of the year.

Wow. Really just. You've been right on me. Right on you. Really, yes. Milk has been needed. We've been seeking you out for quite some time. John, are you feeling that binky over there, dude? Dude, I fuck with this.

I have a mouth thing. I dip beers in alcohol. Back when I get fucked up, I'll start chewing on the little strings on your jacket. I'm going to keep this, and this is going to be used not just for the pod. I think that's an everyday thing. I think that's like an everyday thing I think that's why I vape so much is I just constantly need something

to like bite on and suck on Just like his mother Just like his mother These are the right consistency too Oh it's a perfect amount Is it good like a rubber? It's nice and like hearty That must put my nipples to shame though

Ain't no way Nothing like the real thing. Remains to be seen. But carrying on. We gotta know the origin of the entire mommy, the mommy schtick. It's such a great question boys, such a great question. So let's go back to like 2020.

Okay. I originally thought TikTok was super cringe because like, Oh the dancing stuff is terrible. Well the dancing, I'm like what is... Because I was such a Vine girl. And I'm sure you guys were Vine boys, right? Oh, we loved the Vine. Vine was where we thrashed. Vine was... I'm just... That's more my style. Like, it's just... It's funny. It's random. It's quick. It's a ha-ha.

Okay. But then that went away and I was really sad. And then I hear about TikTok and I'm like, no. Like, this isn't it. It's cringe. And I, like, couldn't do the dancing, so I was like, I'm just not gonna do it. But whatever it was, a lot of my friends were into it around COVID and they were like Sid like you gotta do this blah blah blah and I like kind of played around with it but then I was like upset because I was like these aren't even getting views like this is dumb then my friend do you know who Harry Raft

do you know oh my god I just spit on the microphone um she's a spitter no I'm not what so yes clip that clip that so Harry Raftis you guys know who he is the hot 20

maybe he's like 21 now I don't even know Canadian that might not make it on our feed that wouldn't that's not our algorithm he would make it on mine that's not

that's not our algorithm he does the dances I don't know if he does I don't know what does he do he just drinks and talks about it. And he's hot. You guys, he's a very good looking guy.

Oh, that's on my personal. Yeah, that's on just yours. That's not on the podcast. He's one of like the first people that I saw on TikTok. And my friend was like, because I've always been a cougar. Okay, so the cougar thing's real. I love the younger guys.

Okay, I've always dated younger, but two years. It's not like I'm like a pedophile. How long did the younger go back to? Yeah yeah it was always like a year or two but like most girls especially like in high school college they'll be like going for the older guys i'm like nah freshman i love the freshman i want i want the power like i was a junior you're like a super senior fifth year oh my god literally like literally like fiending on these boys that like what school did i miss out on oh my god you didn't miss out fredonia f these boys at like the local. What school did I miss out on? Oh my God, you didn't miss out. Fredonia?

Fredonia. Sounds like I did though. Is this in New York? This is in New York. I was there for two years and then I transferred to St. John Fisher, which is like basically high school 2.0, but it was still fun.

Just like a small private school. Yeah, yeah. But it was just a party school. It was a little crazy. But yeah yeah so anyway ADHD kicking in back to Harry Raftis so

my friend sent me one of his videos of him like again just looking sexy doing his thing he's like hey I'm Harry Raftis and this is how you make

some type of drink whatever it was and then he shows you and I was like she was like I feel like you need to stitch this I had no idea what stitch do what the fuck like I was like okay and so need to stitch this. I had no idea what stitch do at what the fuck. Like I was like, okay. And so I'm like playing around. I had no idea what any of this stuff was,

you know, I'm 50 years old, right? 42, 42 to be exact. But I'm ageless. Thank you, Morgan. Thank you, Morgan. Old enough to be my mom. Yeah. Technically I could be, but. 39 for three years in a row. Yeah. We just stop at that age and just keep it right. The one who can't be aged. Yeah. Never. I'm like Jen Cranston. You're a premium mil we just stop at that age and just I'm immortal the one who can't be aged yeah never

you're a premium milf age whatever that may be whatever that is let's go with that that's where you are it's up to interpretation that's what's beautiful about art it's really up to the

it's up to the viewer exactly right love that guys I'm like I'm blushing I'm sweating I'm clammy

okay so back to Morgan's sweating too but for my brain still dude no babies sweat dude

babies are sweaters it's the bib it's the bib the bib does warm you up it's a baby XL double XL damn that's a big baby

if you're texting hang on oh shit she just like I can't have that I am just unless they're sponsoring no brands on the show

yeah so I was in my parents sauna when I'm watching this. Sweaty, you know, and clothed, thank God. Well, for me, thank God. But I was like, all right, you know what, let's just go with it. So I just randomly stitch it, and it goes, you know, I'm Harry Raftis, and this is how you make a blah, blah, blah.

Then I stitch it, and I go, I'm Sidney Smith, and I'd like to sit on his face. That's a good start. And for some reason, I thought, why not? I'm going to post that and see what happens. And that was my first viral video. I have no idea how it didn't get reported, because now everything that I post is reported.

Well, we've got like seven active violations on TikTok. Oh, yeah. No, everything's viral. I still have account warning. So do we, yeah. You too? No, I've had it for months. Anyone who makes anything worth watching has an account warning.

Yeah, exactly. So I'm like, okay, maybe this means I'm cool. It's like a cool thing to be a bad girl, bad boy. Instead of being verified, you want the account warning logo. We're not verified. We just have the account warning. We have the red exclamation point. That's way hotter.

That's way sexier. Fuck a blue check. We don't need that. Red exclamation point. Literally, yeah. That's it. That's all we need. So that somehow, like that, you know, kind of blew up.

And he ended up like commenting on it. And I was like, okay. Like wet immediately. Wet. Just like. Was he like pretty big already at the time? He was. He was really big.

I mean, I think he's still big. Can we pull this guy up, Morgie? Just pull up a picture of him. We can keep talking. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not connected right now. Harry, H-A-R-R-Y. Sorry, Gary, she doesn't like little boys.

One more time. Fucking raftus. R-A-F-T-Y one more time fucking Raftus R-A-F-T-U-S Raft yeah yeah what's the first name Harry Beer College

Harry H-A-R-R-I that comes up and now I need to know how tall he is he went to Chapman like come on that's like typical

yeah yeah yeah that's typical like U.S.C. that's typical like holy shit that's jailbait he plays the cross for sure

he was in a frat I think I don't know is Harry Raft plays the cross for sure. He was in a frat, I think. I don't know. Is Harry Raftis in a frat? Yeah, he was in a frat. We don't even need to click that. Where do you went to USC? Phi Delta Theta. Phi Delta Theta Beta Theta Phi.

I was in a sorority, so I was like, I guess it makes sense. Yeah, we were in a frat. Delta Phi Epsilon. We have ass tattoos. Oh, that's so sick. I don't have one, but maybe I'll get one. Well, it's more of a brand. Yeah, I was going to say, is that more of like a brain yeah because I have guys

yeah you guys are just so you're so like you like the pain the pain the painful pleasure yeah of course nice can't believe they aren't doing those anymore though the branding yeah no the tattoos yeah no the tats but okay um where was I Harry Raft this was your first viral video so anyway I that kind of blew up. And then people were like, oh my God, Cougar Talk. And I was like, okay. So they know I'm a cougar. Was it obvious?

I don't even remember if I said I was. Maybe I, I don't know. Who knows? Maybe a hashtag. Whatever it was, it started going like Cougar Talk. I was like, all right, this is me. I am a cougar. Maybe this is my calling.

You got branded by the general public. I got branded by the general public. They were like, she's a cougar. But then they're also like, she's a milf. And I was like, but I'm not a, well, cut that out too. I was like, well, okay, what's next? So then someone caught, and then this is when I did like a lot of, a lot of my videos are based off like replies.

Cause they're all like, or like comments. Cause they're all like, what? Like concerning and like fucked up. So I replied to one that was something about a cougar talk. And then I was like, you know, joking and saying like, well, because I'm very sarcastic. And I was like, well, you know, I'm 50 years old, so I don't think I could, my back, I'd blow my back out doing that

or whatever it was, okay? So, and this was probably like not that long after, still like 2020. And people from that day forward, because they're probably 13 years old and can't pick up on my humor or sarcasm. I don't know why I said it like that. Sarcasm. I like the sarcasm. I think that's how it's supposed to be pronounced.

I think that's how it should be pronounced. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The little binky. They were like, holy shit, you're 50. You look good for 50. And I was like. Go with it. At first I was mortified.

Because, yes, literally. Then I thought about it. Opportunity. Leaning in. I, yes, literally, then I thought about it and I was like, leaning in. I'm going to lean in. This is my opportunity. I'm officially a MILF. Yep.

Game over. And there it is. And I think I just kind of kept going with it and then it just, I don't know how the mommy thing started, but a lot of the comments

were like, mommy, mommy, mommy. I mean, that's also like a thing on TikTok. I don't keep up with like the trends and stuff on TikTok.

I don't really scroll. You are the trend. You invented it. You know why you can't keep trend you know why you can't keep up with me at all times of the day it made me feel really good about like you guys like amp up that's our next goal yeah we want to live with you you gotta get one of those triple strollers and just push us around west hollywood you'll be my little triplets yeah mommy moving yeah mommy moving we love that we actually have a lot of things that we kind of want to hype you up on here okay that does bring us to today yes which is we recently noticed you hit a million followers that's fucking huge got that from one to like 1.1 in like a week right you know it's just exponential i refresh that i'm like how many come on come on i do that's where my ocp kicks in

is it increasing or is it decreasing because I've had so many issues with TikTok. Oh, fun fact. I got banned for like eight hours the day that I hit a million. Really? Classic. Yes, and you know why? Because I, well, actually. Jealous kids?

Maybe, but honestly, that's sad if that's the case. Jealous moms. They're like, she can't look that good. And I'm like, I'm ageless, sweetie. But no, I went live the night for the first time. I was really scared. I saw this post, yes. I was like horrified, but it was kind of fun.

And I went live and then like just basically saying like if I hit a million, I'll go live. And I stuck to my word. Went live. The next day I wake up and it said that I had been reported to be under the age of 13 years old. Oh, Jesus. 13? So someone could just report you for that and they'll just ban you without even looking into it? I guess.

And the thing is, is this has happened months ago where I had like maybe like half a million followers. This is when I started like really like blowing up and I was like, oh my God, like I'm so happy. And then I get banned because supposedly I'm under the age of 13 where I'm like, you have my credentials. At least I thought.

Like what? But 14 would be okay. I was like, 14 is fine, but under 13, come on. That's pushing it. 14 and above. We actually got banned for a full week the first time we went live on TikTok as well. Well, that's probably why. Honestly, I think it's because I went, what did you do?

No, both our live stories are timeless. Someone, I have a ball pit at my house, and we were like in the ball pit. Why aren't we filming there? What? Because it's in San Diego. We didn't want to make you. Next episode, we'll have you come down there. But we were in the ball pit just like screwing around.

And then some guy was like, yo, I'll Venmo you guys to like make out. And we're like, how much? How much are we talking? And then he like sends us like a- 1,000 diamonds. He sends us like- TikTok diamonds. Oh, like TikTok diamonds.

We didn't know the translation of- What is that? It's like a penny. A dollar. We thought it was a million dollars. So we thought he sent us like a hundred- I would have thought the same. We thought he sent us like a hundred bucks.

It was literally like a dollar. A dollar! And I kiss John on the lips. We thought he sent us like a hundred. I would have thought the same. We thought he sent us like a hundred bucks. It was literally like a dollar. A dollar? Yeah. And I kissed John on the lips and we get banned for seven days off TikTok. Love is love. What? Come on. No, because it said we were like prostituting.

Yeah, like someone's paying us to like do sexual acts. Which is true. He's got a point. He does, but. I was like, because for 10 million diamonds, which would only be $10, or 10,000 diamonds, we would have done a lot more, to be fair. Yeah. We would have gone way bigger. There is no end to what we do for a dollar bill.

Yeah, that's 10 platinums. That would be at least $5. They have all sorts of different currencies on there. Well, that's what was happening at the live. All these things keep popping up, and I was like, what's going on? I was literally saying that during it, because I'm like, sorry. Low-key was a little high when I was doing it, so I was like, what's going on? And then it started wearing off, and then my ADHD was kicking in,

and I was like, what is this rose? What is this diamond? Yeah, we thought we were making bank. No, me too. I was like, does this mean I'm like, no, literally, I think I made about, I actually have no idea how much I made. I was like, a lot of diamonds must be good, right?

Yeah, I guess that's how they get you. 300 coins is like seven pennies or something? Yeah, it depends on, I think, yeah. That's so misleading. The emoji money system is hard yeah sunglasses smiley is like 50 cents and then if you stack them obviously obviously we got banned for a dollar basically yeah john do you want to tell the second story oh god of our second live that one didn't get banned though surprisingly uh we We just drank an entire fifth on TikTok Live.

And that didn't get banned? Well, we snuck it. Red Cup. It was definitely not alcohol is what it said. Oh, okay. Yeah. As they swag. Love.

We did an episode that was just me and him because Garrett was traveling or something. Okay. And then we did Cuffs and Fists before the episode. We'll explain what Cuffs and Fists is. She knows what Cuffs and Fists before the episode. We'll explain what Cuffs and Fists is. She knows what Cuffs and Fists is. Yeah, she's already. But not everyone does.

Cuffs and Fists is. There's other people that are going to listen to this. You drink one of these between two people. And you're cuffed. Yeah, and you can't unhandcuff until you finish it. Until you're done. Yeah. Champagne and shackles is what I've done before.

Okay. Yeah, but I was. That one's almost rougher. Yeah, because it's so bubbly, you know? You get full, real full. It hurts. Tum Tum get full full. Tum Tum hurt hurt. Yeah. Not fun fun. Not fun fun for you. T, because it's so bubbly. You get full, real full. It hurts. Tum-tum get full full. Tum-tum hurt hurt.

Not fun fun. Not fun fun for your tum-tum. Tum-tum is not fun fun. Tum-tum's not fun fun. Ouchie ouchie. Baby tummy hurdy. Baby tummy hurdy, mommy help. Maybe I have mommy issues.

I think I do. Like what? Maybe that's why I am. Freud is our next interview, so we'll figure it out. Perfect. We'll talk further. We'll have you on with Sigmund next episode. Love him.

Great guy. We did want to know, since you hit the million, what's next on the docket for Mommy? How are we taking the brand to the next level? That's a really good question, because there's a lot of opportunity. I saw you just change your bio. You have some sort of talent representative now?

Yeah. Wow, you guys are really keeping up with me. I love that. We know Mommy. You know Mommy better than I know mommy. It's not in a creepy way. No. Oh, my God, no.

It's a cute creepy way. We just refresh your page every hour. We're just constantly looking at your page. It's fine. It's normal. It's all good. We're prepping for the episode, okay? Everyone relax. No, I love it.

We do our research, God forbid. No, you guys, you're smart. You're very smart. Good boys, good boys. Good boys. But my plan, yeah, so I actually just signed with, well, I want to do non-exclusive. It's like talent. It's not really talent agent.

That's my next step. I want to do more like acting and stuff. Grail is more for like paid partnerships. Okay, so more like ad-based shit. Right, exactly. So I would really like to do that full-time. Okay, yeah, of course. And that would be,

because it's my passion. You know, I came out to LA really wanting to pursue that, and my dreams have slowly become true, you know? Yeah, there we go. And in the most organic way, I feel like, which is so cool.

Right, and I think that- The fact that you just fell into it. If this was a huge ploy, I don't think it would've turned out the same way because it wouldn't be so organic. It wasn't forced. You just did it because that's what was naturally funny to you.

Same with us, dude. And then you guys are also killing it too because you're just being yourselves. People love that. Stupid shit. People are like, what are you talking about? I was like, everything that we think about. I don't know.

The deepest, darkest parts of our brain. Which is the most entertaining, right? We love that. Most of the shit people aren't comfortable discussing in front of thousands of people a week. But you take care of that for them. Yeah. Love that.

We know you do have the talent agent, but we did have a few pitches that if you wanted to run and buy your agent. Yeah. Do you want to start with yours? We think we have some big opportunities. Each one of us came up with an idea for you. You can pick which one you think is the best, but. Oh my God. Oh my God. They might all three be. Yeah. of us came up with an idea for you. You can pick which one you think is the best. Oh, my God.

They might all three be. Do you guys want to be my managers? Yeah, we were thinking about that. At the end, we were going to present you with a contract at the end of the episode, and I let you leave until you sign it. Okay, we're going to cut that out and then pretend that it never happened. And then I'll be like, oh, my God. Surprise.

Okay, so the first angle would be DJ Mommy, obviously, because we're DJs. So instead of counting down three, two, one at the drop, you go one, two, three. Don't make Mommy count to five. Don't make Mommy count to five. Okay. Holy shit. Your producer tag is, you know how it's like, Mike Will made it. It's just a cougar growl know how it's like Mike Will made it.

It's just a cougar growl, so it's just. I wore my, just for a quick. Oh, nice, nice. Cougar pants. Yep. So for your remix ideas, you could do like nursery rhymes. So like, hush little baby, womp, womp, womp. Something like that.

Oh my God. Sweet, epic. Yeah. rhymes so like hush little baby womp womp womp something like that sweet epic if it was levels it would be ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba okay yes

I think you guys will like that one last one was drank a bottle in Ibiza to show mommy I was cool Okay, yes. Okay, yes. I think you guys will like that one. So we like this one. Last one was, drank a bottle in Ibiza to show mommy I was cool. That's a good remix as well. I drank my bottle in Ibiza. And then instead of having cake like Steve Aoki, you just shoot milk into the crowd.

Oh my God. Obviously, if you didn't have milk guns, because we came up with these separately, if he didn't do that, I was going to be upset. Brilliant. Got to do milk guns. I'm obsessed. So I think that's one feasible opportunity.

You guys are really creative. So I have a reality program option for you. Oh my God, that's your it. It's a spinoff of The Bachelorette. It's called The Mommyette. So instead of 30 eligible bachelors ending the villa or whatever you want to call it, we have 30 eligible orphans with the hopes of winning over The Mommyette.

It's basically a nationwide search for the most breedable and submissive young man. Instead of giving roses out weekly, you give out milk bottles or baby bottle pops. And instead of going on romantic dates, you take the boys out on play dates. Oh my God. In hopes of finding the goodest little boy.

And at the end, instead of getting engaged, you just adopt the winner. Holy shit. I'm like sweating from excitement right now. I'm going to spit again. Stop spitting. Holy crap.

Run that by the manager. Yeah, okay. No, I will. ABC will pick that up for sure. Need. Yeah. So my idea was a mommy masterclass or mommy university. Oh my God.

I used to take masterclasses. Perfect. So you know what I'm going to get into. Yes. The mommy masterclass is mommy university? Oh my God. I used to take masterclass. Perfect. So you know what I'm going to get into. The mommy masterclass is obviously going to start with verbiage and phrases. We're going to talk about honeys, good boys, bad mommies, things like that. If you can't start the class without knowing the words, then we're going to, the vernacular is important. The terminology. The next section would be how to find the studs from the duds. And then after you find them, it's gonna go into coaching. And then I found a cool tagline for that one.

It's gonna be, does he need a diaper change or is he just a stinky boy? And then we're gonna have positive and negative reinforcement and how it's always negative reinforcement. Yes. Hot mom walks 101. Always.

Budget for babies, or we could call that cub commerce. I don't know what you like. Oh yes, dude. Then we have the breast cub commerce. I don't know. What do you like? Oh, yes, dude. Then we have the breast milk bylaws, obviously. Yes, which we did do a whole episode on. And then nights out or nights on the hunt. And then cutthroat cougar branding or mommy merch. And then it's going to go into that and how we get that going.

Okay, a few things. I'm obsessed with all three of you. So the obsession's mutual. Holy shit, I need all of this to happen. I can't pick. I think all three of you. So the obsession's mutual. Holy shit, I need all of this to happen. I can't pick. Like, I'm not gonna, I hate to be that girl, but I can. I think all three is possible. No, like, and they're also different, and they're also genius.

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Let's do it. Now back to the show. So next one, how often do people notice you in public? And what's your best story from meeting a fan in public? Um, that's a good question. I think definitely lately I've been feeling like being more, I feel like now every time I go out, at least to like certain bars, like especially with like younger guys there,

which like obviously I'm going to go because it's like younger guys um but um i say like every time now that i go out at least like one person um really yeah but like or they'll be like in a group like just last weekend i was at the victorian and that's like home of like all like the college boys like i mean but not everyone okay shit ton of milfs MILFs there. Real life MILFs. Oh yeah, I've been there. Write that down. Yeah. Write that down.

Write that down. It was MILF hour. And I was like, okay. And there were some guys that recognized me there. But I think the best one was actually when I went bowling. Do you guys know who Alejandro is? Like Ali who? The fork guy from TikTok.

And like Christian Bierling. Probably if I saw him. You would know that they're, like, OG TikTokers. And they're two of my really, really good guy friends. And we were bowling, and someone had actually recognized Alejandro. And he's like, aren't you the fork guy from TikTok? And I was sitting next to him, and he goes, yeah. And then he looks over at me, and he goes, wait a minute.

And I was like, oh, fuck. Because it's usually just kind of like, hi, yeah, it's me. I get, like, awkward. And then he's just like, but he Because it's usually just kind of like, hi, yeah, it's me. I get like awkward. And then he's just like, but he didn't, every time someone recognized me, they say mommy. Okay, they say you're the mom from TikTok or you're mommy. But this was the first time, and it actually made my heart sing,

that he was like, you're Sid Smith. And I was like, yes, I am her. That is me. I am her. And so I was pumped. But he was probably like, okay, 16 years old. I don't even know. He was a little boy.

16 years old. I was like, oh, my God. I was like, hey, hey, hey. What are you doing? But we were waiting. What's your name? Yeah, what's your name? You, boy.

But we were still waiting. So I was like low key like, couldn't we like mooch off of this kid? But I felt bad. So he goes, yeah. Give me your lunch money. We were literally waiting like two hours. You want to buy us a drink little boy? You want a little milky milky?

Let's go over to your lane and let us play. But he was like, can I get a picture with you guys? And I was like, yeah. I mean, he actually didn't ask. He asked as he took it type of a thing.

And I was like, you know, just like, and then he was like, and also can you follow me back? And I was like, that's where it was like, that's how know, just like a, and then he was like, and also, can you follow me back? And I was like, that's where it gets out. And that's where it was like,

ew. That's how you know he's 16. Yeah, and I was like, you know what? Probably not. Yeah. I'm so sorry, but thank you. And he was like,

yeah, no, I thought I just asked. I find that to be the weirdest question when people ask. Well, it was just like, I'm comfy. It was uncomfy. Why would I have any, I was like,

I don't know you, dude. Why am I going to follow you? I mean, I definitely follow like famous people that I don't know, but like, I'm not going to follow a 16. That's also creepy and probably inappropriate and I'd probably get banned again. If I followed back every person? I mean, I definitely follow like famous people that I don't know, but like, I'm not going to follow a 16 year old. That's also creepy and probably inappropriate.

And I'd probably get banned again. If I followed back every person that followed me, I'd be following a million followers. I mean, if he's over 13, it's fine. It's fine. But under 13. TikTok's very loose. People give them bad rap, okay? Like they're these overlords, but it's just over 13.

Then you're fine. It's not even crazy. If you're under, get off. Yeah, can't do it. But that was probably the one that stood out to me. A lot of it was usually the same. Like, are you mommy? Are you mommy? Yeah. Or like, I get off. Yeah, can't do it. But that's probably the one that stood out to me. A lot of it is usually the same. Like, are you mommy? Are you mommy?

Yeah. Or like, I know you. Yeah, but that one stood out to me just because he didn't refer to me as mommy. He referred to me as my name. So I was like, okay, you are cool for that. But no, I'm not going to be your friend on Instagram or TikTok, whatever it is.

But you're great. Thanks, let us bowl. Okay. Yeah, I'd say most of the podcast interactions are good, but the music ones are usually weird for us. Yeah, do you guys get like yeah people go up to you okay so when it's somebody that also does music they a lot of the times they could like talk about something super technical with music and then it's just like oh well they want to talk about science yeah like we don't want to talk about this they like we're like literally fucked about a festival

and they want to talk about like how we fucking made a sound in a song and we're like bro i can't do it i don't have four hours this is not the time no yeah the podcast is funny they just be like yeah oh yeah you're funny you guys are funny my favorite part is when they think that i'm in the dj group as well yeah yeah yeah because you like to run with that but you're just yeah i'm just me there he's the jabberwocky yeah so we like when we we pretty much just needed like more social media content and like our manager wanted us to be on t on TikTok and we like weren't gonna do the dances and we're gonna do the stupid transit shit

right there with you so we're like what's like the most genuine organic way for us to like put clips on TikTok and it was just like let's just be ourselves

and let's just do a podcast I love that we wanted a catalyst I had Wyden said I make the music though and they just oh yeah he's definitely makes the music now

I produce it they play it so you're the players you're the producer I have stage fright. I can't get up there. You're behind the scenes. He's definitely abused his powers.

So me and him have been best friends since we were like five. Oh, that's awesome. And then where did you come from? You're not brothers. We met in college. So we've known each other for like over 10 years now. And same with John. Oh my God.

Yeah. That's really cute. You know what that is? That's wholesome. That's a wholesome family right there. And I'm the mother of all three. And you're the mother. That's how they describe our podcast. You're the mother of drag. Wholesome. Yeah. That's really cute. You know what that is? That's wholesome. That's a wholesome family right there. And I'm the mother of all three. That's how they describe our podcast. You're the mother of drag.

Wholesome. Yeah. Definition of wholesome. Yeah. Our podcast is a definition of wholesome. This is one that I wanted to ask if I can ask this next one. No, you're cut off. Because it doesn't need to be made to me,

but I think it does need to be made to other people. What would your pitch be to convert guys who are just not into cougars or they've never even thought about it or considered it, you know? Okay. Like a younger guy to be with an older girl. Yeah.

Like you're going for a younger guy. Like someone, maybe they're in a group, they're talking about it and he's like, oh, what? Yeah, like no way. Young all the way. No way. First off, I'd say you're sick in the head. Clearly everyone loves an older woman.

Yeah, yeah. especially a hot older woman if she's hot that's a plus but the thing is is like okay I'd say older women

take care of you except I like to also be taken care of but with the boyfriends that I've had in the past I feel like I truly was their mother so I'm like

ooh that's actually like not the dream yeah not for me though not for taking care of everything that they did

I was like no but I still you know it's just in my nature well this might segue perfectly well I'm sold yeah well I'm sold

you can take care of me this might segue perfectly into our next segment which is entirely based on sugar babies oh and I was also going to say they can buy you

nice things if they're doing well and that's a huge plus yes so we're talking money we're talking love we're talking care we're talking talking love. We're talking care.

We're talking experience, life experience. We're not dealing with a child here. This is a full-blown woman. Yeah, she'll bring you a warm bubba. She'll bring you whatever you want. She tucks in your toes. She makes you feel good all over. You get burrito every night.

All over. The nail tap. Get that on the mic. That's firm. I treated myself to a little nail. A little nail job? Yeah, a little nail job. Say it.

A little ASMR. All right. Should we do nicknames for sugar babies? Yes. I'm excited. Do you have some of these, or do you want to rate ours? Ooh, I want to rate. I only have, I have like one, well, actually, I have like two.

Okay. Do yours. Squirt. Oh. I don't know why that just came into my head. I was like, oh, squirt. That sounds good. Kiddo Okay, do yours. Squirt. Oh. I don't know why that just came into my head. It's like, oh, squirt. That sounds good. Kiddo, little kiddo, squirt.

And like cub, like my little cub. But that's like a classic. That's classic, yeah. I want to hear yours. Okay. Yeah, we came up with different ones. Yeah. Well, I know one of them.

Okay. But I wasn't going to say it. You want me to go first? Yeah. My first one is late-term orphans. Oh. Yeah, these are way better than mine. Late-term orphans.

Love. Okay. I've got Mommy's Little Picky Bank. Oh, my God. That's so good. That is so good. You know what? I love that one.

Right now, we've got a winner. I love that one, though, too. That one's good. That one's good because, yeah. Okay. Old Digger. Oh! Old Digger?

I like that. Old Digger instead of God Digger. Oh my God. You guys got to think harder, dude. Oh my God, Morgie the Corgi. Do we want to do it by rounds? Because I have 40 of these. Oh, let's hear it.

I have 20 more. I'm going to keep throwing them out here. We'll just keep them going. Because I'll give you credit for them, but I'm going to use them. Okay. My next one is sexual support animal. That's cool.

All right. You know what? That's a good one too. And it sounds legit. You're a sexual support animal. I have to bring my sexual support cub in. That's a TikTok waiting to happen. Oh, no, I'll get banned.

Never mind. This one's a little more literal. It's glucose gremlin. I like the double G. The glue and the gremlin. It's the alliteration for me. It's the alliteration. I love that.

Glucose gremlin. Okay, this one's in Japanese, so just bear with me. Whoa. Okaneno tamanini mama faka. Is that real Japanese? No. It is. Mama faka?

Have you guys seen Austin Powers Goldmember? Yeah, I just watched it this week. Obviously. Oh, you did? Okay, that's a classic. And I think of Fook Me and Fook You. Yeah. So that's mom fucker for money in Japanese.

How do you say it? Oka ne no tama nini mama fucka. Aka no moti mama fucka. Okay, I'll get it. Love that one. Very creative. I like the use of the Japanese. The next one here I had was dia babies.

Like diabetes. Dia babies makes low-key think I had was dia babies. Like diabetes, but dia babies. Dia babies makes low key think of diarrhea. Dia babies. But you know what? I didn't think of it that way. No, but that's because I'm sick. No, I like it though.

Well, you still get to clean up. Yeah, because I clean up. So it's not only just the dia babies. It's like, cause they shit themselves. Like they shit their pants. All right, I've got booger sugar. Booger sugar, I like. Booger sugar. That's kind of shit their pants. All right. I've got booger sugar. Booger sugar. Booger sugar.

That's kind of a cute name. You can actually say it. Hey, booger sugar. You got some booger in your sugar. You got some sugar in your booger. Totally not a, that's what you. That's not a drug reference, is it? That's what you would want to be called.

You better not be doing that white stuff. No. Are you, are you skiing the slopes? I am the white stuff. You are the white stuff. Yes, you are. But there is a reason I'm 145 pounds. Oh, boy.

There we go. There we go. Milkaholics Anonymous member. No. Milkaholics Anonymous. That's a shirt. That's a shirt with a bottle. Milkaholics Anonymous.

Cheese. Clap it up for them. That's a cheese ball. That's a cheese ball. Can I throw a cheese ball? Are we throwing? No, you can feed. You can feed.

Give me a cheese ball. Sweetie. I earned one for mine, too. Okay. I think you're all gonna get one. Cheese ball. Good boy. One, good boy.

Okay, let's get another one. Open up, sweetie. Oh yes, the tongue action. Two. All right, sweetie. These are so yummy. Baby needs to snacky. Oh, that was a lip action there.

You got my nail right on your lip. You don't know where that nail's been. I don't care. And boys, I don't wanna know what I don't care. I'm just getting started. You have a fuckload? I have 40. I want you, should we just hear? Yeah, go ahead.

I have one more round. I only have one more. Tyler, let's just do one more. All right, let's hear it. My next one is, can be a girl or a boy one. Okay, unisex. I like this one, it's just Hansel or Gretel. Hansel or Gretel.

Just like the fairy tale. Just like the fairy tale. You're my little Gretel, you're my little Hansel, you're my or Gretel. Hansel or Gretel. Hansel or Gretel. Just like the fairy tale. Just like the fairy tale. Yes, you're my little Gretel. You're my little Hansel, you're my little Gretel. That's fun. Okay, that's cute. Yes, a little. I've got binky twinkie.

Oh. Cheese ball. Cheese ball. Now throw in this one at you. I don't wanna get up. Ready, one, two, three. If you don't catch it, you're grounded. Oh, grounded.

Right off the tongue. Right off the tongue. Go to your room. 20 minutes. You guys ready? Mommasaurus sex worker. Okay. Mommasaurus sex worker. I can refer to myself as Mommasaurus.

And then you're my little sex worker. You're going to shut up and you're going to do what I say. You heard me. Yes, ma'am. I kind of like this one, but it, cougar crisps. Cougar crisps. Do we have a new cereal coming out?

That's another shirt. That's the merch line. Holy shit. Oh, my God. And then it's with the cookie crisp guy, but with a bottle. All right, Morgan, you're just going to go wrap it for me. Swaddle. Okay, let's with the cookie crisp guy, but with a bottle. All right, Morgan, you're just going to go rapid fire. Swat.

Okay. Let's see here. I got the milk man. You don't like that one? However, I love milk man. I actually- Milk boy? Milk boy.

Okay. Because they're younger. I can do milk boy. I also had mommy's milker. Mommy's milker. Love. Yeah. Okay.

Gam Gam's pool boy. Gam Gam. Birth banger. We were talking about Gam Gam earlier. Yes, we were. Birth banger? Yeah. Birth banger. Yeah. Birth Banger.

Yeah. Can you explain that one to me? Like you bang things that are birthed. Something that's just been birthed? I have one more. Wait, should I just finish mine? Yeah, finish yours. Mama Llama's Comma Drama?

Mama Llama's Comma Drama. I like the wordplay. You could have skipped a couple of these. Why don't you just pick the best two that you have? The best one? Mom Mom's Nom Nom? Okay, I like that one. That one's doable.

Me Ma's Yee-haw. Ooh, Me Ma's Yee-haw. Let's see, just look the fuck up. He does Thermom Eater. See, why didn't you go with that one right out of the gate? How high were you when you thought of this? This is Adderall. This is Adderall.

He was high on Adderall. Oh, I love that. He doesn't smoke. Good for you. All right, you do the drinking, I do the smoking. Oh my God. You do the chugging, you do the sucking. Then't smoke. Good for you. All right, you do the drinking. I do the smoking. Oh, my God. You do the chugging. You do the sucking. Then the sucking.

You do the chugging. I do the sucking. Say that again. And then all the rest are just like sweetheart, big, strong boy. Okay, yeah, yeah. My little bitch. How about my little bitch? For DJs, it's my little superstar.

My little superstar. Mommy's little bibby. Mommy's little bibby. My little bibby. Love. Mommy's little bibby boy. You guys Bibby. Mommy's Little Bibby Boy. You guys, I'm obsessed. Those are good ones.

Love. The third mom eater. The mom eating. Eat mom. Mommy's Little Piggy Bank. You like that one? That was so good. Mommy's Little Piggy Bank.

That's my favorite. You know what? That was my favorite. And that's also... Because you're just shoving money in them. Yeah. Yeah. Once I get more money, I win.

Yeah. Well, I was thinking even the reverse, if the sugar baby wasn't the provider. I was actually originally thinking, are you my piggy bank, I'm taking the money from you. I was thinking it's actually both ways, because mom could be shoving money into you,

or she could break you open. Or I could be breaking you open, and take your money, and then give you a little kiss. Yeah. It could go either or. It depends on my mood. It was multi-dimensional, that's why I went for it. It depends on the mood and the day.

Love that. You wanna do the games, just to make sure we have time for this? Yeah, I'm gonna do the games. Okay, so we have a game the day. Love that. You want to do the games? Just to make sure we have time for this? Yeah, I'm going to do the games. Okay. So we have a game for you. Oh, God. Okay.

If you were designing Sugar Baby 2.0, what superpower would you want him to have? Okay. He always thinks you're right. We'll call him Agree-A-Boy. No, you start with the name. Okay. You start with the name.

Agree-A-Boy. He always thinks you're right. Got it. Insta Baby. He, you start with the name. Okay. You start with the name. Agreeaboy, he always thinks you're right. Got it. Instababy, he always has the best camera angles. The Strongest Boy, he has unlimited purse and shopping bag carrying capacity. Oh, fuck. Wardrobe Baby, always has your outfit planned out. Or Scuba Boy, never has to come up for a breath. I knew she liked that one.

Could I have, like, all of them in one? No, you gotta pick one. I mean, yes, but not for this scenario. Yeah. Maybe three. Well, you're looking at three of them, buddy. Scuba boy. Okay, no.

You know what? That one intrigued me, but I'm gonna, that one, I can, that, no. Okay. It never comes up for a breath. Okay. You know what? I didn't realize I was going to have options.

So I think what my heart and soul is telling me is the strength one. What one was that? Strongest boy. Strongest boy. Because what I thought you were going to make me say something, and I was going to say someone that can just, like, carry me around. Okay. So you could carry you and or your shopping bags and or all the groceries in one trip?

Yes. That is probably my biggest downfall is, like, I have no—well, I have no ass, no tits, but I also, like, can't lift. Like, I'm very weak, so I need my boys to do the dirty work. Okay, well, who's the strongest boy here? You. Do we—should we test it out? You chose boy. No, I'm the strongest boy here. You. Should we test it out? You chose boy.

No, I'm the strongest boy here. So for the record, I was scuba boy. He was strongest boy. I'm scuba boy, just so you know. He was a grima boy. I never need to take a breath. I can hold my breath for a long time. Yeah, I can stay down there as long as you want.

Yep. Underwater, right. Until my neck falls off. Yeah, definitely. Okay, so we're going to, next one is build a baby, sugar baby edition. So round one, you have $10. Oh, God. And you have a number of attributes

that you could choose with your $10. So there's well-endowed for $10, good-looking for $8, funny for $6, emotionally intelligent for $6, similar interest for $3, and obedient for $2. Damn, obedient's only two bucks? But you got a budget. You only have $10.

Yeah, you only have $10. Oh! So if you notice, there's only a number of combinations that work. Okay, now I understand. Okay. Funny. Need funny. Huge.

So that's six. I got four bucks left. Funny, I mean. It's harder, doesn't it? Is mommy like an obedient boy? I'm going to have to go with it's either you know similar interests or obedient let's do similar interests because i will make sure that they obey me they don't need to be obedient you don't have to pay for that they'll be paying me for that so uh let's do yeah so what do i have you're out of my funny

and similar interests yeah so i can't go any Okay, so he's funny, and we like the same stuff. That's a good combination. That's really sexy. So you go personality-based. Yeah, personality is huge for me. So you're not looking for a large dong? I mean, like, that's always a plus, but, like, I'm not going to spend all my money on that.

Yeah. He could be good for one thing. Why? Yeah, why? Like, I want the ultimate. You're good for 30 seconds a day. Yeah, that's about it. We don't need that.

Yeah, let's say he has the reverse of all the other things, though. So he's a little one. Oh, shit. So he's a squirt. He's shit-looking. He's got a tiny dick. He's emotionally unavailable. Oh, the emotionally intelligent.

Yeah, you missed that one. But I'd rather have someone be funny than emotionally intelligent. I think I would rather have them be funny because you can't teach someone to be funny. You also can't really teach someone to be emotionally intelligent. And also funny goes hand in hand with emotionally unstable. Right. And that's like me. So I think that's good.

I think that's good. Okay. Okay. So we're at funny and similar interests. Okay. We have round two. All right. Round two.

Oh my God. This time you only have a dollar. So round two, you only have a dollar this time, but there's a value menu and it's the three of us and we're 50 cents a piece. Oh, come on. No, you guys. No, I'm not doing this. You set me up. You set me up.

Alright, you get $1.50. Okay, I vote all three. Aw, you gave her two. Easy as that. Take a sip of their milky. Good boys. Oh, good. Oh, no, no, no. Nipple it. Oh, I need my bubba. You need your bubba. Do not try to play this game with me. Oh, my God. Love. Oh, no, no, no. Nipple it. Oh, I need my bubba. You need your bubba. Do not try to play this game with me.

Oh, my God, love. Oh, hold up. Don't show her. I saw everything. She memorized it in a second, the Adderall. Yeah, like snorting it in. Okay, that one's done. That was a good game.

I like that. It stressed me out, though, because I was like, I want it all. The well-endowed for 10 bucks. That's always, you know what? I was 50-50 on whether you're just going to pick that one right out of the gates.

I know because you'd think that I would just be like, well-endowed. No. I mean, it's a hard one to pass up on. It was a good change of character game. It is,

but I genuinely, I get the ick so easily from guys because if they're not funny, I'm just like, this is a waste of time. Boring. You know what I mean? You have to have that sugar-coated,

perfect little humor. Well, because if you went well at that, you're basically valuing one hour out of your day over the other 23. Exactly. It's like, I'd rather have a solid conversation and laugh with you than, I can please myself. It's fine.

You know what I mean? Like, come on. We'll get some toys. Okay, we want to do... We'll get some tonic traps. Or do we want to do the daycare one first? Sure. It doesn't matter. Okay. How's the cheese?

You like balls? You a big ball boy? I usually don't like these. I hate when I actually catch them, but... You have to be a little... Kind of hungry. In a state of desperate hunger. And desperate hunger. You guys got yours pulled up? For the daycare? Yeah. So things guys got yours pulled up for the daycare? Yeah. Okay.

So things you could say during sex and at daycare? Yep. Do you have some of these or do you want to read ours again? Please read yours. Okay. Who wants to go first? I couldn't think of anything. I was like.

I'll start us off. Little Jimmy, please don't eat that. Oh. Okay. I have one like that. Don't put that in your mouth. Don't put that in your mouth. Okay.

Rocket ship? Rocket ship. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, what else we got? What else we got? Did you wash your hands first? Oh, that's good.

Good one. I think someone needs a diaper change. Please just 30 more minutes, Grandma. That one hurts to write down. That hurts your mind? That's painful to hear? Oh, my God. Wait, I just had one in my head.

Snack time. Yeah. Did you guys have that? I have some from your perspective as well. Oh, okay. All right, let's hear them. Do you have more? You want to read the ones from your perspective as well. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right, let's hear them. Do you have more? Oh, these are all-

You want to read the ones from your perspective? From my perspective? Sure. Oh my God. Eat your dinner. There's starving kids in Africa. That's a good one. Eat up.

Eat up, boy. Eat up, boy. Don't make me count to three. That's a good one. I't make me count to three. I'm going to count to three. One, one and a half. Because I said so. Do you need to go potty?

Oh, did you get a boo-boo from the bed frame? Where's, is there a bed in daycare? They're taking naps. They have naps. They have cots. They have little cots. They have little pillows that they perch on. They perch on.

Did you get a booboo? Did you get a booboo? Oh, my God. You got some more? Yeah. Mom, can I please finish before we go? Oh.

All right. Mike's the winner. I have almost the same one. Hurry up and finish. Mom's almost here. But, Mom, we had leftovers last night. You're disgusting and I love it. These are so good. Good work with the macaroni, Joni.

You boys play nice now. There's more than one. We're getting crazy here. I bet my dad's stronger than your dad. That one doesn't even make sense anymore. Oh my God. I think that we got through all of them. I think that was mine.

No, those are unreal. Mine just slowly starts to dissolve into more and more baby talk. It gets babier and babier talk. Oh, there is a baby. Well, I put it on my story. I don't know if you guys, I feel like you saw it,

but that voice recording in the DMs of that kid that literally was talking like a baby well I put it on my story I don't know if you guys I feel like you saw it but that voice recording and the DMs of that kid that literally was talking like a baby he added more now does that play yes okay cause I've tried

I have a screen recording I've tried does that play as in does that work for you oh oh my god I was like yeah you can hear it

you can play it you're like oh god no well see no no it doesn't depend on who if it's tasteful if it was tasteful and if he was hot I was like alright that's kind of depends on who If it's tasteful

If it was tasteful And if he was hot I was like Alright that's kind of hot Okay there you go But like if it's like Weird I'm like no that's cringe

A lot of things are contingent On the hotness Yeah I've only been able to pull it off A couple times But most of the time It doesn't work Yeah

But honestly like It's not terrible If you were Harry Ruggs Or whatever the fuck his name is Yeah The 999 Whatever I don't even know

But Yeah The baby talk. It's too good. You got the next one, Morgie? Okay, so last question of the day. Do's and don'ts for picking up on milfs in public. Okay.

As a younger man. As a younger man. Okay, so be confident. That's a do. Go for it. Don't be scared. Like, milfs love milfs. Like elves.

The milf wives. The milf wives. The milvish. The milvish. Lord of the milfs. Lord of the milves. Like elves. The milve wives. The milves wives. The milves. The milves. Lord of the milves. Lord of the milves. Ooh. God, you are so good.

What Adderall are you taking? Because I'm not taking the same. Be confident. Go out of your way. You, I think, you know, like, obviously, confidence is good for anyone. So I'd say, like, confidence is key. Are you taking notes?

Yes. Another thing, she's always right. That's always the case, though, right? You don't fight her on it. You let her have it. Even if you disagree, you're like, you know what? You're right, babe. If she's cutting the checks, I have no qualms with that.

You have no, yeah. Honestly, everything that you guys listed in that game with the money next to it, if you had all that, I think you'd be great. If you guys are set, just keep being you. And funny. Again, that's generalizing Mills. I like a good funny boy. I want to giggle.

Any don'ts? The don'ts. Don't be not funny. Don't ask her age. That's a classic. That's a life hack. Don't ask if she's married um don't um oh i actually had one and of course i forgot um don't be not funny be boring don't be not funny can never be boring

keep up you know keep up i'll always be down to do something like don't be boring. Don't be not funny. Can never be boring. Keep up, you know, keep up. Always be down to do something, like don't be boring, basically. And don't take all of her money. Yeah. You should be giving it. Gotta save some for her children. You gotta treat her, so that's a do. So treat her.

Save some for the child support. Don't take all of her money and be a mooch. Do, you know, have those, gift her, gift her. I just wanna make sure I wrote that one down right. Yeah, definitely add that to the list. Bleed her dry the list bleed her dry bleed her dry yeah that's a great way

there we go great don't bleed her dry take pictures of the cards and if you don't remember the pin you're golden then you're golden I didn't say that

minimum zip code for the credit cards yeah minimum minimum and that's it questions to ask on the first date what's your mother's maiden name

yeah what's the code you live in your first pet's name right right what street did you grow up on yeah what was your favorite part maiden name? Yeah. What's it good to live in? Your first pet's name. Right, right. What street did you grow up on? Yeah. What was your favorite part of childhood? What was it like when you were a kid?

Best friend's name growing up. Yeah. Favorite color? No. Just getting to know you. Yeah, I just want to know everything about you. Not plugging these directly into your Chase account. Yeah, put that back in your mouth.

Put it back. Yeah. Nice. So quick. So much behavior. So obedient. So obedient. So obedient. So submissive. So submissive. So much behavior. So obedient. So obedient. So obedient.

So submissive. And breedable. I'm obsessed with the show ideas, you guys, because... Yeah, we're going to have to run through those by Mr. Bark. Yeah. Like, I kind of want to do, like, use you guys for this. We're in. We could do it.

We're at your disposal, Mom. Like, I want to do, like, a TikTok session. You gave us life, so we can give you wealth. Rocket ship? Up these. Mommy. Up these, Mommy. That's so messed up.

I think we fucking murdered this episode. I think we murdered it. There is blood and squirt all over this table. Let me tell you. It's wet and it's not me. I'm just glad that we didn't have to be the ones to say that. Yeah, that was episode 30 of the No FOMO Show.

With mom. It was so amazing having you on. You're an absolute riot. Please plug all your socials across the board. I actually have been working on a podcast with my boy Pat,

Pat McNeely. Follow him. His name's Pat McNeely on Instagram, I think. But R-Y-Joken is our podcast name. I love it.

Podcast name R, there's the letter R, Y-A, Joken, no G. Joken. Are you joking? We're hip.

Are you joking? And you're from the East Coast. Yeah, we're both East Coasters. Are you joking? It adds up. We're starting season two now, so check us out. Instagram, TikTok, are you joking? And you're from the East Coast. Yeah, we're both East Coasters. Are you joking? It adds up. We're starting season two now, so check us out. Instagram, TikTok, are you joking? Let's go.

And Spotify. My handles, real Sid Smith on TikTok. SYD. SYD. I'm not a boy. Yeah. Okay? It's Y.

I just wanted to make sure that was. It's like Australia, the country. Actually, I know girls that have the SI, and it's like low-key kind of sexy, but I can't pull it off, so I was born with the Y. The Y suits you because there's a Y in mommy. Yeah, exactly. It just makes more sense. Yes, there he is.

Thank you, sweetheart. Okay, good. I'm a good boy, good boy. Such a good boy. Cheese ball, cheese ball. Cheese ball. I'm not kidding. And then.

Catch that one. Oh my God, you're such a, no, you know what, that was my bad. Because I was short, it was short. He's a human. Did you say it was my bad? No. I just agreed with you because I agree with everything you said.

Good boy. I did that one a little harder just to hit you. I got that one. And real Sidney Smith on Instagram. I don't know why I thought I, I don't know why they're different. Keep them guessing. Yeah, who is she? We don't know.

How old is she? We still don't know. We don't know. 18, 45 she? We still don't know. 18, 45, somewhere in between. We're the only three people on the planet that know and you'll never find out. Unless you got a rose on TikTok. Yeah, a lot of roses. At least like 12 cents and then

alright, we'll think about it. But it's perfect though. It's the perfect age, trust me. We love it. Oh my god. I think we did it. I think that's been it uh Johnny GB and Sydney signing off oh I love you guys so much thank you for having me boys yeah love you love you love you