NO FOMO - 31. The Jeffy Eppy

Episode Date: October 6, 2022

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Hey, welcome back to NoFoMo. This week we are talking Jeffrey Dahmer, we're talking House of Dragons, and life hacks for your anal beads. Yes, sir. Thanks for tuning in. Let's go. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to NoFoMo. It's the sexy boys. It's JD times three. It's Jeffrey Dahmer trifecta cubed Jeffrey Jeffrey cubed looking thick and let me tell you it feels good he's never looked better I'll tell you that I went to four Halloween stores to get these glasses really were they all sold out already or they just didn't so they're afraid of calling in

the Dahmer shades or whatever reason so you call them and they're like, no, we don't. But you should come in and look. We don't. But we know exactly what you're talking about. These are the ones that. Oh, but they have like other murderous masks and shit. They probably call like nerd glasses or something. Yeah.

Nerd glasses. Just clear aviators. Like no one would ever say for sure. Yeah. So I went to fucking like Halloween Express. They had ones that they looked kind of girly. I don't know what the ones that they looked kind of girly. I don't know.

With the ones that you called me the first time? Yeah, they were like, it was like Jeffrey Dahmer mixed with like maybe Pirates of the Caribbean almost. Yeah. Okay. And then I had some extra flair on them. Then I went to two spirit stores that were no longer open. Are they going back? Oh, like they used to be one?

Yeah. Yeah, they just bounce around in a random location every year there's no actual like it's just whatever store closed down nearby at the most recent time you just throw it in there it's always a bond yeah if they put a party city in there this year you're not gonna get it but so i finally got him and i get to the front he's like jeffrey dommer yeah didn't i just talk to you on the phone and you said you didn't have so that felt really good nice do we want to talk about what happened this weekend sure

if you can recall anything so we had the release party for Nija that happened we had a release party for our new song on Friday which was a lot of fun had all the boys come out and girls was that at 6am or how did that go I don't I'm trying to decipher if I slept I definitely was either

either blacked out at some point or didn't sleep at all yes Friday was a mystery and then I blended into a mystery for you for sure Saturday continued to be a mystery yeah I actually Morgan took a stellar nap by the pool for two hours and thought he was only out for 15 minutes well we all drove up together and they didn't want to leave Saturday morning so I abandoned them in Los Angeles. Oh, and let us break that down for you. Sunday morning, I'm supposed to be back for our football at the house. We make like a meal every Sunday, so I was going to make meatball subs.

So I'm supposed to be back early. Oh, you're in charge of that. It's my turn. Your turn to make. So I wake Morg up at 7 a.m on sunday and that was a tough and that was fucked up of you get them up get to the train station we miss the only train that's going to san diego that day by like two minutes wow then we check every other one they're canceled until 10 30 p.m because what happened i think there's a they said there's a landslide there was something

that happened i don't know the track up yeah there's a landslide on the tracks so you couldn't take the bus yeah because we were looking into taking the train on Saturday morning so that you guys could just have my car, and there was nothing. So I was like, I don't know. Yeah, so then after that happened, we attempted to go to the Greyhound bus station to take the Greyhound, which is 10 steps below a DMV. Oh, the station has got to be the scariest place on Earth.

Their hiring team is just next level. They hire the rejects from the DMV. Oh, dude, the station has got to be the scariest place on Earth. Their hiring team is just like next level. They hire the rejects from the DMV. Oh my god, that's got to be the scariest place to ever be. But 10.30 rolls around and we're standing there waiting for the bus because that's when our bus is supposed to get there. And I look at the guy and I'm like, hey, it's 10.30. Is the bus here? Is it late? And he's like, uh, could be an hour and a half,

two hours. What? And I'm like, did they tell you that? And he's like, uh, it's just if they're late. He's like, this is just how it works every day. He's like, if it's late, it's usually like an hour and a half, two hours. Then I go up to the front and I ask them And I'm like, did they tell you that? And he's like, uh, it's just if they're late. He's like, this is just how it works. He's like, if it's late, it's usually like an hour and a half, two hours. Then I go up to the front and I asked them and they're like,

Oh no, it's six hours. Oh my God. So we ended up having to wait until 10 30, got home at 1am on Monday. Yeah. On Monday. But the bus was honestly a blessing because there was one of those crack heads that was

like, had his AirPods in and was like, Dougie was dancing for three hours on the bus. No, like in the waiting line, he was like dancing and shit, just like throwing his arms around and stuff. And I was like had his air pods in and was like dug he was dancing for three hours on the bus no like in the waiting line he was like dancing and shit just like throwing his arms around and stuff and i was like i can't be hung over and watch this guy go ape shit for an entire day it's not gonna go well but we made it back we did make it back i did have a couple of um things that made me worried about my mental health happen. The podcast that you're in? Is one of them this podcast? Yeah, this podcast.

Yeah, I'm concerned about that as well. You know what's funny is I had someone DM us like, oh, I love the podcast. It's kind of like therapy for me. And I was like, the only time I ever thought I was going to be mentioned in the same sentence as therapy is you need to go to the gym. But I accidentally fire emojied a instagram story of a girl posting

her baby at one month and that was horribly embarrassing were you just behind your phone just like i was like i was like holding it and like try to take a drink and i like it like you know you like almost drop it and i like press it with like my shoulder okay okay i thought you meant like you did it just out of like instinct and then you're like fuck i shouldn't have done that no no now as a kid i sent i sent her i thought you're like shooting a shot at her no he meant to send this one stay away i did have to send her a message after that like hey i am so sorry that was a misclick that's the weirdest thing i've ever done and she's like yeah i was kind of like why is this fire emoji i haven't posted anything fire emoji worthy like oh that baby's fire yeah could have just rained yeah oh fire baby that baby though um also the shocker

emoji that baby though okay i'm done also my jd vibes okay yeah i'm pretty sure my handwriting is almost completely gone i haven't written anything by hand and dude i remember fucking learning cursive and I was like, ain't no fucking way that this is going to be ever a thing because my handwriting. Now, like even writing in general is not. When's the last time you had to write something

that someone else was going to have to read? Dude, I went to a check and I was like, fuck, I got to make it again because it's illegible. Yeah, I went to the. I'm like skipping letters. Like I'll be writing like 30 and I'll write T-H-I-T-R. I'll do the R after like the T. I'm like be writing like 30 and I'll write T H I T R.

I'll do the R after like the T I'm like, Holy fucking shit. I don't even know how to write. No, I just hieroglyphics. I went to the, like I got crashed into a couple of weeks ago and I went to like the body shop to go and like get an estimate and I had to fill out the form by hand and I swear to God, the guy was like looking through it and all my contact information was just illegible and i had to spell everything out and then he called me this morning actually and goes yeah we've been trying to send you an email for the last week because i was wondering what the fuck was going on but he's like i think we sent it to the wrong email like multiple times

but it looks like they tried like three different emails it looks like could not fucking decipher it i was like literally my first and last name with a number all it is it looks like Groot, but Gross yes, yeah handwriting is gone. Yeah, so I mean with the combination of those two things like Alzheimer's on the way Yeah, he's coming in route my shakes your handwriting you my existence Yeah, that's crazy, but I actually do have a different side note that I thought was interesting. Were you there when we saw Garrett White from the front? You saw it and told us. So I seen Garrett White from the front.

Okay, when was this? This was at your house. This was at your house. When we were getting ready to leave. This was two weekends ago. We were getting ready for cross. You fucking wiped from the front, my boy. You did it don't i know i'm owning up to it but i'd like to preface it with that's not something i do often that's not how often do you do it so i don't want to get into the details but when it's

a little there's a little extra going on i it's a double check for me it's a double check so it makes sure all the angles are so you can musk up the balls like what no i move that i'm just it's he wants to get something i'm proud of okay okay i don't gloss over and i was like i was sitting there with the door open just knowing like this there's no reason i should have left the door open no i was in the shower we're not next to me yeah i'm showering yeah and he was watching you the whole time. That's what it was. Why were you looking at me? God damn it. What else am I supposed to look at?

I'm not going to say we're going to make fun of you for it, but we are going to start calling you fronty for at least a week. All right, that's fine. I'll take a weak punishment for that. Fronty? I'll take a weak punishment. Can we call him fronty? Yeah.

The frontler? That's frontopolis. I'll accept all that. Okay. He's got that frontussy, bro. Oh, that's good stuff. Good lord. I did hear we were talking about, remember, I think we talked about it on here, the guy

who doesn't look when he wipes. Gail's friend. Oh, yeah. We talked about he- Did we talk about it? Yeah. I don't know if we ever- We talked about it on the pod, I believe.

Okay. One of our friends has a friend who has never, has never in his life looked after he wipes he's never ever looked at it we had this we were talking about the blind yeah because we were talking about the blind and then he's just straight up said he basically is blind and he never looks so we were talking about that in a group of people and one of the people said do you guys go with the cheek spread when you sit oh you just flesh it out yeah every time when he sits he double cheek grabs and spreads and holds grips each side of the make sure that it's well gripped on the side of the seats it's what are you afraid he's gonna fall in yeah i don't know i just that was a new one for me

he brought that up like oh you guys all do this right and i was like no wow i was like the same guy i was like you're not dumpered up that hard this is the same guy that said this no it was a different guy okay okay well you know what gail did make a good point is that the same guy? I was like, you're not dumpered up that hard to where you need to sweat. This was the same guy that said this? No, it was a different guy. Oh, okay, okay. Well, you know what? Gail did make a good point. Is that the same reason why he doesn't dry off well after the shower is because his dad never taught him to do any of this stuff. I don't remember anyone teaching me to make sure that there's not shit. I remember being like six years old and my dad teaching me how to properly set up the

toilet paper and fucking wipe your ass. You wouldn't have a clue what's going on because you have to learn everything from someone. You have to learn everything. And you don't want your mom in there teaching you how to properly set up the toilet paper and fucking wipe your ass. You wouldn't have a clue what's going on because you have to learn everything from someone. You have to learn everything. And you don't want your mom in there teaching you how to fucking... You'd think you'd learn, if you weren't taught it, you'd think you'd learn by, oh, my butt smells like shit. I've never had a clean ass because I've been guessing my entire life. Okay, that guy needs to go to jail.

This guy doesn't even need his thoughts expressed. He's a wild anomaly. No one ask his opinion this guy is a monster that guy needs to be treated imprisoned he should be in prison with us three yeah fucking jd and the boys he should get dommered honestly yeah that's fucked up get d get d i'm down to get dommered up honestly um does that does that bring us into the meat of our show today? Do we want to start talking JD and the boys? Let's just do the upcoming and plugs just so we can fucking get out of here. Plug your shit.

So this weekend we're going to be in Arizona doing a podcast? Yep, we're doing a podcast with our boys Nappy and Jay. Yep. What else are we doing? I forget. We're going to be at Gold Rush Festival on Saturday. So if you want to say what's up to the boys. Yep, we will be there.

Getting loose. And then just... We've got merch, you know. Dude, just to get these plugs in there. I mean, like, comment, subscribe to the game. I don't know if we've mentioned it. Morg made the mommy shirts and they're good. We love those.

But Garrett, who dresses a little better and knows a little bit more about style, made some other shirts, a couple jackets. They're a little sicker. They're kind of sick. So if you've already looked at it and you're like, nah, I don't fuck with those. Yeah, there's more than the mommy shit. I made just like some no FOMO merch if you want to just rep the show. And they're actually like, you know, kind of stylish.

Yeah. And we got another bag. And if you guys like want anything like specific, like just let us know. We can make like anything. And if you guys want anything specific, just let us know. We can make anything. So if there's anything that you feel like we're missing, we're open to some ideas. We're going to come out with the No Fomo spoons, right? The Coke spoons?

The necklace Coke spoons? Yeah. Those are coming. Those are coming. We have to hit up a factory for that. We've got a factory being sourced. Yeah. It's in Taiwan.

It's in Taiwan. But it'll make it. Yep. But other than that we do have the patreon which we just started which is the extended eppies yep and um and also if you if you have the patreon and you don't really know how that works like you just the full episode including the original episode is all on the patreon so you only need to listen to the patreon one yeah so we have doubled down you know what i mean yeah so on the patreon yeah i think they figured out but i don't want to waste like an hour of their life to listen to the Patreon one. Yeah, so we have double down, you know what I mean? Yeah, so on the Patreon.

Yeah, I think they would figure it out, but I don't want to waste like an hour of their life listening to the same thing over again. Yeah, on the Patreon we have 30. An hour that they already have wasted. They're like sitting there like 30 minutes in like, is this any different? So it's 30 minutes extended episode

and you could watch it through like a private YouTube link on there or you could listen to it. Yep. And with all. So we do have some fucking surprises today oh do we oh did you bring us gifties did you bring more stuff yeah oh i think i saw a sneak peek of this i don't like this yeah so all the money that we get it goes into hearts for this shit so what do we want to do fucking you have to eat it i think

funniest guy i think yeah you hold it until someone else makes better funny than you okay so give it to me to start because i'm more funny than you yeah i don't want to touch that thing so i'm not going to speak the rest of the episode and then we do have um if you make a bad joke you get a bone you get a bone instead of a cheeseball yeah you get a bone thrown at your head yeah and then cheese balls are so cheese balls are good cheese balls are funny bones are bad so you guys play take some take some bones. Take some bones to check? Yeah, we're going to need a lot of them for board. Why don't you just hang on to all of them? Yeah, you give us the bag.

All right. All right. So you get a bone if you suck. Okay, bone for bad boys and then cheese balls for... So it's like, dude, throw me a bone. I'm sorry. That was a shitty joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like when we don't laugh at it, we'll give him a bone. Throw you a bone. I'll throw you a bone, but that was trash. Okay. But. These have a little hole in them. You can string them up and make a necklace. Ooh, a little bone.

You can. I almost got us some blood syringe pens. Ooh. But I feel like we'd just be throwing stuff around the hole. Yeah, if it's got some pointy sides, I don't think we want it. Yeah. So let's stay away from that. But to get right into it, it's JD has just taken over the world.

We're just, everyone seems to be a little obsessed with with dama right now so how couldn't you be yeah i mean he's the man he's the go he's why he's the go yep um but um he's great he's great to put it into perspective i I think he would be... Every group has a weird friend, and I think you'd want him to be that weird friend. Yes. Over the weird friend you have now in your group, if you could replace him with JD, I think you would. I'd rather not risk the murder thing, but... Well, but he doesn't kill any close friends.

Okay. Or family members, mostly. Yeah, mostly, yeah. Well, if you never leave your he's not doing anything yeah as long as you stay friends with him if you try to kick him out of the group then you're fucked that's true he's pretty much just taking all the bad friends off the planet yeah if you think he's kind of saving people from from ever having to be friends with a shitty friend yeah but uh john did you have some other fun facts that we didn't get oh yeah so there i was you know obviously enamored by the show,

and there were a few facts I wanted to roll over here. One that I found, this is probably the grossest one. Here we go. So as he was killing people in that apartment, he was running out of room for the bodies. So he kept one in his shower, and he just showered over the top of them for about a month and a half. Oh, my God.

Put that in the show, dude. I know. Just showered with it laying in there yeah he would just kind of stretch like step over the top of it the full body was just in there yeah i was just decomposing in there while oh my god this guy was so funny um he we all know that he ate people but he did not eat people with tattoos because he thought the ink made the flesh taste funny oh wait really yeah he said it was just an icky taste he didn't like the ink hey he might he might know no one else i mean there's no way to google it yeah i don't think no one would

really know if that's true or not so he could be dead right well no you could eat the tattoo off a cow um but it's not the same it's not the same cow it doesn't hit they brand cows anyway they do tattoos and shit too i mean'm not super into farm culture. Farm etiquette? This is one I'm sure Margo liked. His IQ was 145. Oh, he's a smart guy. At the same time, he's not though.

He's socially not. He got away with it for a long time. He knew what he was doing. I feel like he could have done a better job with disposing of things if he was smarter. Oh, well, but he liked it. He doesn't want to get rid of it. Yeah, he was.

He doesn't want him to leave. He was trying to build. So one of the things that I think they kind of mentioned the show, he was trying to build a human sized altar out of the bones. So he was trying to collect enough of the bones to build an altar. And then he envisioned himself sitting like behind it as it and then having a giant bone altar that he could worship Satan out of. Jesus Christ. Oh, he was still into the Satan stuff at the end?

Yeah. Okay. Well, at the very end he was, and I think he got baptized and everything. He flipped. And then this was just a fun little, so there's a big thing about the number 13 with him. Jeffrey Dahmer is 13 letters.

His killing spree lasted 13 years and his apartment number was number 13. So there was some bad luck stuff going on there. Just some little tidbits. He was also a Taurus. However that works out. Does Taurus

have anything to do with this? I don't know. I don't even know if he was one. Are they all murderers or something? We're not quite sure yet yet we're still figuring that out we should have looked that up we should have there was a similarity facts yeah those are some fucking good those yeah just bone alters loki pretty lit yeah if we would let him finish it it would have been nice yeah well i we were looking at serial killers the other day and there was that this one guy who had um uh human skulls on thes on his bedpost poles. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then he would eat cereal and shit. I'd imagine Lucky Charms out of the skull bowl. Oh, my God. Yeah, he had utensils and stuff made out of body parts, and he would eat. And I bet if you did a femur. Which guy was this? Just a random dude. Wow.

I bet if you did like a, what is this called, like a tibia, you could probably do a spoon out of that or something yeah you could get a spoon out of it yeah it's big enough things a number of bones you could i mean i could have used this as a spoon low-key it's got low-key just use another skull yeah as a big skull is the best one yeah yeah it's always the best one but um so do we just want to get right into the notorious serial killer draft i think yeah so do you want to tell them like our premise for this draft yeah so we're want to get right into the Notorious Serial Killer draft? I think so. Yeah.

So do you want to tell them like our premise for this draft? Yeah. So we're going to do a snake draft of Notorious Serial Killers. That you'd want as your wingman on a night out. So are we saying at the end which group pulls the most? Yeah. Yeah. Which group rigs the hardest?

Which group is getting laid at the end of this? Okay. Whatever that means for that specific serial killer. Okay, serial killer draft wingman edition? Yes. Okay, okay. Do we want to have an order? Do we want to do twos and ones behind the back?

Yeah, we'll do twos and ones. What is this? Decide who goes what? Yeah, odd one out goes first. Okay. Three, two, one. Let's go! Okay.

What, do you want to just go clockwise from that? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Who's pulling the most? Yeah. You just pick one, right? Yeah, you just get one.

You're going to get two, and then it's going to come back to me. Oh, let's go. Fuck. And we're just each getting two. Yeah. These are your two boys. You're right in your left wing. You really didn't think about this at all?

Well, now that I'm first, it's kind of... You've had the list in front of you the whole time. Yeah. I'm going... I'm going to go Ted Bundy first. Ah, that's a good pick. That's just a good pick. That's the best pick.

He rigged the most. Yeah, he rigged. If you're going that, I'm definitely going JD then. Okay. Because, I mean, we've seen it in action. Right? And he's still got he's got chicks sending him pictures in jail like if you can still pull after you've been convicted you can

pull no matter what yes yeah yeah yeah uh well I mean those are the two best ones for pulling no there is there is some sneaky ones there's some sidewinders. There's some sidewinders, some sneaky bits. Some sidewinders. If there are, I don't have them. A dark horse. A dark horse. I mean, when I initially made the list, it was just like who would win in a killing spree. Okay. So I added those two after we decided it was going to be rigging.

But just because this guy, we don't even know who he is so he still could have rigged very hard because we don't know the zodiac killer okay he he could have you know he was speaking in code no one you know yeah he's a mystery man he's a mysterious man and i think that's a thing you want in your crew it's alluring it's yeah you need some allure exactly see because yeah we we picked two guys we picked two front men yeah you know sure quarterbacks yeah yeah for sure so and i go again right yes so this other one does require some explanation but this is just a conversation starter john wayne gacy because he's going to be dressed up as a clown i'd see the

clown angle is good yep that was my next pick. If you didn't go here, rigs kids. Fuck. You know, if you find a girl that's it, like you want to talk about a lure, he's got mysterious man and then he's got a clown in there. And then no. And then on top of that, I'm just a normal dude in the middle. So they're like,

what's up with this? Yeah. How'd you guys all find it? It's an eclectic group. Yeah. So say you're at Coachella, which is all ages and he's the clown. So when somebody brings their So say you're at Coachella, which is all ages, and he's the clown. So if somebody brings their kid, you're rigging the mom right there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's basically taking the grenade for you. Yeah. Okay, Garrett's got a pretty decent lineup. He's got a plan with his. Despite having a completely audible, I think I came out with a pretty solid crew. Okay. This one's going to be out of left field a little bit, but I think it could work.

My next one is elizabeth bathoy she killed about 650 people what was that all babies right no no uh they were women six so she was called she was called the vampire killer um 650 did she live in salem or what it was an old timey the Elizabeth. Is that not the most ever? So potentially 650 confirmed 410. Holy fucking shit. I mean, she just has the formula down. That's why I want her on my team. She knows the steps.

She knows we walk in, we go straight to the bar, we order this. This is what you say. It's going to be really systematic with her. And that's what I want her on my team 650 that's like plus i think that's more people than died in like the iraq war yeah that's like my whole high school class plus i think having a girl in the group is really going to offset jd you know because he's he's pulling chicks or he's pulling dudes she's pulling chicks then i kind of get i kind of get the middle ground you kind of get the middle ground okay i like that.

Okay, this one's another sidewinder as well. You guys remember the killer from Disturbia? Yeah, he rigs. Disturbia. Disturbia with fucking Shia LaBeouf? Yeah. I don't remember that. He pulls.

Yeah, that guy pulls. He brings girls home from the club or bars every night. Yeah, let me show you. You don't remember Disturbia that's a dude that used to be my favorite movie it's such a good is this a real person or is this no it's hypothetical but he's just a normal person okay you don't remember fucking I didn't know we could do movie characters oh you didn't set it in the thing oh you don't remember this movie oh yeah I do remember that yeah it's a banger that's a good pick that's a good pick because he was seductive

dude oh yeah he was and he's going dude. Oh, yeah, he was. And he's going, we split the difference there. Because Ted Bundy's pulling from prison. He's pulling moms, and then I'm just at the gay bar. Yeah, I think me and Mork's strategy was we kind of get the middle ground. Yours was, you're like a moth to a flame sort of thing. Yeah. Girls are like, what is going on?

I have to see this. This guy's with a clown and this mysterious man. So, so I have Bundy and the Disturbia guy. Yes. You have JD and Elizabeth Bathoy. Okay. And I have the Zodiac Killer and John Wingese.

Should we give, make it, maybe put some votes in the comments or something. See who wins. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, the something? See who wins? Yeah, okay. Yeah, well, the comments will decide who wins. Yeah, I don't think we can decide now. Yeah, that'll be too difficult.

So we'll gift whoever wins the heart next week. Yeah, okay. In the comments, break down the winner. If it's good, you get the heart. We'll mail you the heart. Okay. I like that. Okay.

So I do have a shit ton of fun games for this yeah let's keep them right into those okay let's do that yeah let's run through all of those random all right you wake up you're handcuffed to a support beam in jeffrey's basement all you have is psychological warfare to sort your to set yourself free what's your plan it's jd it's jeffrey dahmer yeah do i know him like do i like no he got you do i know what i know now yeah you're you say you went out but i have my jeffrey dahmer knowledge that i have now in this scenario yeah so say this weekend you go out and jd gets you you wake up in his basement i got this easy okay thanks for getting me i just really needed somebody to hang out with this is very comfortable could you put another one on the other arm so that i definitely

can't get out of here because i don't want to go anywhere and then i'm just i'm just sitting there talking about all kinds of stuff he loves to talk about i'm like dude what kind of acid are you gonna use on me like is it gonna dissolve me up like the other ones okay oh you know everything about him yeah yeah i'm going with i'm like i'm like dude what are we gonna use are we gonna zombie me up i don't know if we need to do that because i'm already basically a zombie oh i don't know if that would work i don't know if that would work what i'm a little skiff off of a riff off of what you have already is i'm gonna try to convince him that i'm like the same way and that I want to help him do this.

Like, oh, I'm so glad I found someone just like me. Yeah. Please never leave. Let's go together and hunt people down. Yeah. And then as soon as I get outside, I'm gone. Combined forces. Yeah.

Like I'll pretend I'm going to be fully on his side. Like I'm a sick fuck myself. Yes, exactly. I'm going to have to pretend. Yeah. be fully on his side like i'm a sick fuck myself yes exactly i'm going to have to pretend yeah but but jay just fucking folded his cards and was like oh wow you're gonna zombify no i well i'm just talking about it with him and then i'm gonna let him get me into it i'm not already into it oh so you're gonna like i'm so fascinated by i'm like wow this is really cool i like this so you're

trying to get all the deets and yeah and then you'll be like oh i kind of like this i'll maybe be like dude you know what's funny is i kind of have like a little bone altar of like raccoon skulls and stuff in my house You know, that'd be I'm just bringing up facts that I know you like something you knew about him like that He'd probably like oh, this is the perfect person. Oh, yeah, it is different if you do if you do I want to be in the organic. I don't want to because he's gonna be if you're like, oh, yeah I like to kill people too. He's gonna be like I Haven't heard that one before. Okay, I think we're free.

I think I got it. Yeah. Okay. Next up we got, okay, again. And I'm going to start hitting moves like that one dude in the show when he's taking pictures. Oh yeah. He's taking pictures the whole time. Yeah, I'm like, I'm just seductive as shit.

Just like, oh, get this angle. I'm just seductive as shit. Just like, oh, get this angle. Okay, again, you're locked up at Dahmer's crib, and you could send one five-word text to anyone to get free. Who is it, and what are you saying? I've got mine ready to go. I'm fine.

Don't send help. Yes, to Morgan. I'm just going to simply say to Morgan, come through, there's beer here yeah i had to the boys i said cruise jd's free beer to my mom i would just all i need is three words it's i need help she'll find you i will be free soon and it'll be quick work like an hour yeah yeah you'd be out of there in 45 i think i would text you your mom also over my mom. Yeah.

Oh, Harold would find you. Yeah. I'd say with Morg need help. Yeah, with Morg need help. Yeah, she'd have to think you're there too. If it's just me, she's not going to help. Oh, and we're found like lickety split. Oh, yeah.

And she's murking JD in the door. And she murks his ass. He's done. And then to my dad, again, it's just Cruise JB, JD's free beer. Cruise JD. I like that. To John, I've got come through. There's a four here. Cruise JD's free beer. Cruise JD's. I like that. To John, I've got come through.

There's a four here. A girl said you were cute. That's good. He's got another one pinned up right here. And if I was able to send one to myself, I'd say come through. There's dudes here. Okay. You got more? No, there's dudes here. Okay. You got more?

No, that's all I got for that one. I'd turn my phone fucker off. I'm not sending that text. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good, fam. Dude, JD's fun. I like this episode.

I think I would have a good time. Yeah. Wait, hold up. Cheese ball. Cheese ball. Oh, right in the teeth, dude. You got a bigger mouth, dude. Oh, shit. Come on, Morg.

Oh, it's in my shirt. Okay. You got it? Fuck, my bad, dude. Give me one. Give me one. They are harder to toss than you think. All right, all right.

Give me, give me, give me. Let's go! One shot. Yeah, you got to give us a lower. Yeah. Higher, we can't get it. Yeah. We can't get it.

We can't get it. We can't get it. We can't get it. We can't get it. We can't get it. We can't get it. We can't get it. Alright, alright. Give me, give me, give me. Let's go! One shot. Yeah, you gotta give us a lower. Yeah. Higher, we can't get up. Everybody want a bone, too, or what?

Everybody hold on to a bone. I've got bones. Just because it's good. Yeah. Yeah, bones are good. Okay, next one. Yeah. Alright.

Things you could say during sex and at jeffrey dahmer's house who wants to go first um what's that smell yeah i had that one yeah classy should we all rate it yeah that was a seven and a half like clap like clap i've got whose hand is that you already know what's coming why don't you go back to bed grandma it just it's always a layup for the grandma stuff um how are you feeling how are you feeling how are you feeling i couldn't figure out exactly how to phrase this one but i could really go for some head right now. Oh, that's really good.

That's good. That's good. I like that. That's exactly how you phrase it. Yeah. Fuck, that's 10 out of 10. We'll save the cheese balls. Yeah.

But come on, I made you a sandwich. Come on, make some cheese. You taste so good. That's a good one. That's a good one, good one dude our iqs have to be pretty high these are high bro i've got jds at least j took one of mine so i'm um a lot of these choke me harder um i could just eat you up yeah i'm thirsty you got anything to drink blood is coming right yeah or just knock me out juice yeah yeah you got any more you got another one of those because i'm still awake uh how about shh go back to sleep yeah but my last one was uh, can you grab me another beer?

Okay. So we got some fan submissions. You guys fucking blew it out of the park. Holy shit. Yeah, the fan submissions were fire this week. I'm going to pee. All right. This one's fucked, but we're doing it.

Okay, choose a drink, a a hot sauce and a body part what's your dommer meal um i think you have to start with the body part you have to build around that right yeah that makes sense i think oh my god i'm trying to think of what would be the i kind of for whatever reason when i heard this, the first thing that pops in my head is that video of the lion eating the elephant's asshole, asshole first. I think I'd go whole. You'd go whole? Yeah. I was saying ass filet, but I love that angle.

Yeah, ass filet. A whole nut? Butt cheeks. A whole ass filet? A leather donut to start. Oh, fuck, dude. No. Leather donut?

No. And what goes best with that? I'm thinking... Taco Bell diablo sauce no i was thinking obviously baja blast to wash it down and then yeah diablo sauce no it's got to be fire okay anything fire sauce on i'm eating it yeah okay i had yeah i had a 40 taco bell diablo sauce and an ass filet okay, I think butt cheek is a fair place to start. Yeah, but it might be too tough.

Maybe some like, can you make like fingers into like wings? But I'm going to prepare it in like a stir fry, so I'm going sriracha. Okay. And you can't beat a Baja Blast, you know. Or you can do like ribs and some Frank's Red Hot or something. Oh, I like that. I didn't even think of that. Some lemon pepper dry rub.

Some thigh. Some mango habanero. That would go stupid. Disgusting. That one's horrific, actually. It gets better. I hope not. This one's just simple.

How many beers would you have to drink to go home with Jeffrey Dahmer from the club? There's so many parts to me that wants to say one. You know, one of his beers how many of his beers are our beers i mean all all he would have to say is that he has more beer is if i've had at least one oh they're just and he has more beer oh yeah let's say it's last call there has to be a promise of future if the bar is closing and i even if i've only had one yeah i need more so i'm going back yeah so we'll say as long as

there's future beer yeah one okay yeah if it's last call he's like hey i have a half opened white claw back the place i'm in i've got a fucking half oh speaking of half drinking fucking white claws garrett holy shit so what can you like throw some warning shots yeah what's going on so this was um last sunday morning i uber back to garrett's house in the morning and he is downstairs checking coors light cans to see if there's any beer left in them fucking gremlin that was so i helped him we found some we find one that was warm it might have been spit yeah we found some that was a bone for you i was checking if there was any full ones okay yeah to throw away i can see they're open yeah um okay this one's kind of dark actually

this one is do dead bodies count for your body count? Oh my God. If they do, then I think JD had it figured out. He's getting two per. Two per. Yeah. Double and down. Yeah. He was like, I got to get my numbers up. What's the quickest way to do it?

Wow. Yes. I'm going to say yes. All right. Let's see. Maybe they're a half point. Or maybe they're two points. Maybe.

That's a double point. That's a two for one. No, that's a three. That's from. Yeah, that's yeah that's big points that's from range yeah that's a freaking and one yeah and he makes it yeah automatic from the line stop we throw in the garbage bag he's fucking underhand but it's money make it stop okay please god i think we just do one more of these before we scare everyone away. I think I think Anyone in the right mind turn to this fucker offer immediately Let's see if your girl had to have one Dahmer trait, what would it be always has beer always?

That's a good one Cheese ball. Cheese ball for that. That's a good one. Laser of madness. Rigs of other dudes. And rig dudes. And rig dudes. Okay. Oh, my God.

Fuck yeah, fuck yeah. We're on it today. What's getting biased today? Nothing. I don't see it. All right, we're going to take a quick break. Football's back, baby. We're back seeing Mahomes sling beautiful balls all over the field, and your friends at Manscaped are here to help you sling your beautiful balls all season long.

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ready to go, ready, set, hike for JD, shave them pubes. Okay. Maybe not all of them. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe. I mean, whatever he likes, it's not about you. It's what he likes. Yeah. Maybe, maybe, uh, make sure you meet the best value bundle for the manscaped Pocket Rockets with the Platinum Package. And look, this has got to be a Super Bowl winning roster, but don't take my word for it. Go to manscaped.com and get 20% off and free shipping with the code NOFOMO. That's 20% off with free shipping at Manscaped when you use the code NOFOMO, Manscaped, for turning you into your own MVP. Now back to the show. Okay.

Let's get into House of Dragon then. What do you guys think overall? I really like it. It's been good. Game of Thrones has just always been a dark show. You know what I mean? There's always some uncomfortable shit that happens. So in terms of like the incest shit you just kind of expect something like that i feel like i feel like i knew from like the previous show like the storyline of the targaryens involved some incest yeah because

they all are like pure targaryen blood so you can't have any just rogue members coming in is it pure though i don't know oh it's the purest if you don't make anybody it has to be i think it's great yeah i'm a huge fan um what was i gonna say yeah i feel like when it first started i felt like it was slow but then i remember there was fucking what 10 c's eight eight seasons of regular game of thrones yeah so they kind of have to really fucking build it out i remember trying to get into game of thrones like years after it come out everyone thought it was great and yeah the first season i was like okay and then it ends with a fucking banger and then the second season was kind of slow but then after that it was like phenomenal all the way through

besides the last season but like it is it does have dry periods yeah you just gotta be patient you just gotta be patient yeah i don't think we need to show up week after week i don't think we need to switch actors oh yeah i thought i i felt like everything before the actor switch felt just like useless as soon as they i think if anything they should have just had the current actresses switch actors oh yeah i thought i i felt like everything before the actor switch felt just like useless as soon as they i think if anything they should have just had the current actresses look younger to yeah one or one of the two just don't switch because that one girl looks like 12 years old realistically she's probably like 25 but the start the starter raniera raniera she looks really young so she's 21 be hard to sell her as as a much older version, but you could sell the current one as a younger version easily.

Yeah, for sure. She is, was she 19 or was she like 23? I think she's 21 and the other one's, the queen one's 25. Yeah, we had to look at it. Currently? Yeah, the younger version. Because she's like 16 in the show. In the show, she's 16.

Oh, you're talking about real age. I was like, she was like 15 or 16 in the original segment yeah yeah yeah um but getting into so the incest happened we're not gonna spoiler it too much but well i mean it's not the first time it's happened so if you are that far behind yeah there's been multiple situations yeah but just some law trivia or just a general question here so if you were writing the laws for incest because there are laws against it here what would they be don't do it no i mean like like define the parameter oh because i know what it is what do you think it is it's uh anything beyond first cousin i believe is okay outside of that yeah so it has like if it's your first cousin it's illegal but out like

more distant anything more distant than that is fine yes correct yeah um wait is that that's actually like that's our so you can't do depending on the state you can't do parent child you can't do grandparent child you could do step you can't do direct cousin but you could do so that would be your your mom's cousin's kid you could do so that would be your your mom's cousins kid You could yeah like a second cuz that's your second cousin, right? Yeah, so I Think I would extend it a little farther than that. I think it's if you got the last name same last name You're out. Well, no cuz then oh cuz then there's workarounds for that. Yeah, when you're married you have the same last name I think just stay out. Bone. Give me bone. There's a bone.

There's a bone. There's just so many people on the planet. Let's just stay out of the same tree. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. I agree. Yeah. There's no need.

So there is another fun fact that I thought was kind of weird. If you had to guess the two states that allow incest or don't have laws against it well if i had to guess alabama wrong georgia wrong uh i could see like i could see like a vermont or something random the closer tennessee no maine florida florida no that's a good one. That's a good one. They may have that law, but it is not enforced. That's a great guess. It is not enforced there. California?

No. Okay, okay. I heard you say the word new. I'm hoping it's New Jersey, not New York. Yeah, it's New Jersey and Rhode Island. Okay. Smallest places. Because there's not that many people there.

What are they supposed to do? Exactly. The tree is small. I don't know. Go on the internet? Well, I mean, now mean now but yeah we're not gonna change the laws it's like a small orange tree of a family so you have to like get in there yeah it's a little shrub it's like a small christmas tree charlie brown christmas tree

and if you had to guess how many what was the punishment in california what would you say slap on the wrist this is literally the these are real right now yeah for incest and in california slap on the wrist i think it's i'm hoping it's death no somewhere in the middle obviously somewhere between slap on the wrist and execution i think is fair um it's probably i'm gonna guess it's like an old-timey law It's like you have to pay a dowry of cows and like four bushels of onions. Closer. Closer. What is it?

It's just three years. Three years in prison? That's it? Yeah. Three years in prison and you're back with fucking- For some incest? That's worth it. And you're back with Aunt Jill.

Three years in jail and I'm back with Aunt Jilly? Yeah. I'm back with Auntie. Wait, so is that- Uncle Jeffy? Is that only if you get married or is that just if you sexual intercourse sexual intercourse so you have to prove it yeah okay whatever but i mean yeah all right so for house of dragon we are we're playing house of wagons and uh i didn't realize the show was already We're all good everybody?

Yeah yeah sorry We're back okay we're gonna play House of Wagons Which is just the Best celebrity wagon debate If everyone wants to start I know half of these pictures are fake But they'd still do it for me Hilary Duff Dude they're not fake

Are they not? No Thank god I don't know I'm back and forth on it That's the biggest sleeper of all time. Hilary Duff has one of the top. How has she been hiding that from us? It is an absolute wagon of wagons, Oregon Trail-esque wagon. It's a fucking dump truck. Wait, she's got a Calistoga on that bitch?

She's got that Duffy stuffy? You haven't seen what Duff's got? Duff is rocking an absolute trunk and a half. Wait, bullshit. Look it up right now. I swear, dude. Hillary Duffy. Dude, like, where has first of all, where's she been hiding?

Did she just like evaporate off the face of the earth after Lizzie McGuire? Wait, what made you think of her? Look at her dumper. There's been recent pictures of her like all over the internet. Of her dump the fuck out? She was on the cover of some magazine and people were like, wait, is she banging hot banging hot oh is it the pink dress picture with the fucking dude

that's too much that's top that's i good luck yeah good fucking luck that's a good one that's a good one um i've got that i'm willing to i'm willing to fight until my fucking dying days for that one you'll go okay well you're not gonna like this i got the harajuku barbie aka nikki minaj oh harajuku barbie can you explain that one to me um that's whatever nicknames oh no it is not What does that mean? Nikki the Ninja? Harajuku Barbie, dude? Wow. Roman? Fucking...

Roman? Educate yourselves. Harajuku... Wow. She does have an absolute wagon. She's got a full dump. She pops up for Harajuku Barbie. She does.

She does? Yep. Told you. That wasn't Cap. Hold on a sec. You think I don't know my Nikki? Hold on a sec. Hold on a sec.

When I type in Harajuku Barbie on the right, it says Trinidadian rapper under her name. I think she's Trinidadian. She's Ferdadadians. She's Daddian? She's Dad-esque? She's not like full American or whatever. Yeah, that's Trinidadians. I have no idea if she's Trinidadian.

I think she's Caribbean or something. Yeah, you guys would be hard-pressed to argue that Nicki Minaj is not the biggest company. You just saw the Hilary Duff dumper. You gotta. I'm telling you, there's simply no way. I would go head-to- to argue that Nicki Minaj you just saw the Hilary Duff dumper you gotta I'm telling you there's simply no way I would I would go head to head with that this one's a cop out honestly but I think just for longevity sake and you know the things that she's brought to the culture of wagons Kim K dude see that one wasn't never gonna make my list it's fake dude do you see that she she she dropped it all I don't did she drop the list it's fake dude oh you see that she she she dropped

it all i don't did she drop the butt though yeah she dropped it drop all that ass you can when it's i don't think i don't think no it's a brazilian butt lift if it is oh where they pump the fat in there yeah if it is fake was it always as big as it got to a certain point there's a video you can find online if it is fake was it always as big as it got at one point? There is a video online. When she first came on the scene, was it already fake is what I'm saying. There's a pretty popular video online.

It's one of the tops of all time on the site that's never been topped that you could fact check. Yeah. I know what site you're talking about. That was the springboard. Yeah. That was the springboard.

Okay, so we got Kim, Duff, and Nikki. I have one more. Can I throw one more in the ring? Well, no, we just got to decide. Oh, okay, we have to decide out of that? Unless you have a better one. Well, my only other one is Sofia Vergara. How do you spell that?

The chick from Modern Family? Oh, yeah, OG Mommy. Sofia Vergara. V-E-R-G-A-R-A. Is she really dumping out like that? Oh oh she's dumping out the back dude there's it makes the sound what what does that mean i thought you meant something else dude okay that's pretty nice but it's not the sound it's not nikki nice but when it goes with everything yeah okay i'm sticking with Duff. If we're going to knock Kim Case for being fake,

is Nicki Minaj is not incredibly fake? No, you don't get to knock it for being fake. It's still big. I'm just saying that's why it wasn't on my list. Okay. I think Duff has to be out. Why is she out? I think she's out.

Duff versus Nicki Minaj is sticky Nicki, bro? Duff is great, but I think... You're not going to change my mind think Honestly, I think Nikki wins. Let's go, dude. I'll take it if you're gonna say it. I think so. God damn it. I didn't want to say Kim K. She would be a good House of Wagons winner, too.

I didn't want to say Kim K. Put some white hair on her? I'm sure there's a picture of her with white hair. That's Sticky Nikki. I'm gonna look it up right now. Sticky Nikki from the streets, dude. Yep, that's It's white hair. That's sticky. Nikki. Yeah. Done deal. Look it up right now. Nikki. Right here. Dude. Yep. That's,

that's house of fucking wagons right there. God damn it. House of fards. I'm done. You're done. You're done. Okay. Okay.

So was that the only game of Thrones game we had? No. I thought that was the only one. House of wagons. We were like, just brought it up just to do house of wagons. We brought up house of dragons just cause we up just to do House of Wagon. We brought up House of Dragons just because we had a clever name for an ass segment. You should just see me on prep day just fucking synonyms, or not synonyms, it's rhymes with just every word.

And I'm just like, my boy's got a fucking thesaurus out. Okay, we do have a mommy of the week, a fan submission for this. So who's the most mommy, old or new versions included of raniera or alicent who's the most mommy of those ones yeah uh i think i think it feels wrong to say old raniera or new or young raniera it feels really wrong to say she is of age we looked it up in real life actress in real life that's all that matters how old old is she? She's like 21 or 19. Well, there's a big difference there. Okay, let's do it.

Because if it has a teen in it, I'm just not saying it. I don't think she is in the conversation either way. Okay, yeah, let's just scrap her. Because she looks young as shit in the show, so it doesn't work for me at all. Yeah, it doesn't do it for me. Let's get to... She's 22. She's 22?

Okay, fact check. She's cute, but she's not mommy. She's not mommy. She's not mommy. I think it's new Alicent. I think it's old Alicent. Wait, you mean old as in age or old as in... Old as in age.

The older version of Alicent. Yes. Older version. New would be the same as old. I meant older version. Just younger or older version would be the same as old i meant older version just younger older let's clarify okay the older alice yeah the older alice yeah i think that's the most obvious she's kind of got those in the show she's got that crazy mom energy and she fights for those kids dude she's trying to take another fucking oh i don't want to spoil it yeah

my bad my bad yeah but i agree um yeah if it older rainier is a no yes i it could have been either way yeah yeah this wordplay that doesn't really make sense without further ado we're getting to the chess anal beads scandal oh yes it has to be done yeah yeah um get a little background on this yeah i got a little background um the top chess player in the world went up against a guy who is a known cheater via online tournaments. Oh, he's a known cheater? He's been banned from chess.com for cheating,

and he's cheated in another tournament, so he's been caught twice cheating. He goes up against this guy. They've analyzed the game that he lost in, and the guy made 97% perfect moves every time against so i forget the guy's name the top guy in the world magnus magnus carlson yeah he has not lost a game with white in a tournament for 54 games so if you start because white gets to go first so he hasn't lost 54 games as long as he goes first he played an opening that he has almost never played against

this guy and this guy knew the exact perfect moves and in an interview after he even says like they're like oh did you prep for that and he's like no i just he was like i didn't even or he was like yeah i did prep for it and they're like why he's never used that and he was like i don't know i just got lucky because in theory you would prep for all the games you've seen them play before yeah you because people have tendencies of stuff yeah start with so you prep for that fuck but so uh he has basically since said that he was cheating and the only thing that people can come up with is he had some beads in his butt that were vibrating the moves for him yeah oh he said that he admitted to cheating no no no the carlson guy like officially came out and said that he was because he played him again in a tournament like later and he made one move and then quit carlson did he's like i'm not even gonna play him he's

like he made one move and quit and they're like why are you doing this and he was like i just can't really say and then he finally said yeah yeah he was cheating what what that why is the theory that he had vibrating anal beats because that's the only so they check your entire body they check your clothes and stuff because people have used stuff in like their shoes before and like stuff like that to cheat so yeah the prevailing so who's is there someone like watching it and they're sending them signals or yeah it's broadcast probably like morse code or something okay wouldn't that be such a skill to learn anal fucking morse anal morse code i would learn it quick you wrote the book i was trying to think of how it would actually work

though it would have to be like I think they just tell you exactly they probably just run simulations of the game and just tell you exactly so it would actually be really easy for chess because every piece has a it would be knight to a2 so you just have to do k whatever that is in Morse

code a2 and then you just know to move that there is it that easy to do that in Morse code though? I mean letters each have their own thing it could be something other than Morse code they could just develop something or yeah they could just come up with their own shit like three fucking long buzzes Bishop

oh yeah it could just be there's only so many pieces they could come up with their own thing just for chess it doesn't have to write out words but shout out that guy's butthole, though. Yeah, that thing is sensitive. That thing's a trooper. And it's accurate, 97%-ly.

Yeah, 97%. Perfect. It's crazy. But that brings us into our game. Wait, before we get into that, how do we prevent this? How do we prevent it? Yeah. You have to play chess while taking a shit from now on.

You have to play chess while taking a shit from now on. Ooh. You play on toilets, and after the game, you have to see a dump. I feel like it's almost such a crazy idea that they just would assume that's the case, that what if it's not true? I mean, I would do that. Yeah?

What, do you just EMP the room to kill all the fucking butt butts? Oh, there you go. You EMP the room. Put them in fucking oh there you go you emp the room put them in a fucking like signal proof yes that's a thing i think oh yeah that could be that's an easier less weird solution than the one i can yeah right oh first thing i thought was to start checking buttholes at chess tournaments yeah yeah you got it i was like damn you should get prison staff at chess servants it's so funny because it's just like objectively the weakest fucking thing of all time. Like chess.

And they literally have to do a strip search of these motherfuckers. People fucking find a way. But so we do have some fun shit for this. In classic us fashion, we somehow have a game for this. We're not going to give you any crazy takes about it.

We're just going to make a joke about it. And here we go. So what would you be willing to put beads in your ass in order to win? Okay, okay. I took this kind of another sort of different route. Okay. Because I think there's a lot of things, almost anything I would be willing to win. But I thought of kind of life hacks for anal beads.

Okay. Personally, I'm considering to start using them as my alarm clock in the morning oh um amber alerts see i had that on here as well yes amber those should be really good yeah now now there is i think there is something we need to mention for this everyone would have to learn anal bead morse code well that's a given yeah yeah like i think and i think you know we're not really big on learning multiple languages but i think most americans would be willing to do this yeah if it became a thing depending on size yes yeah it would be sick instead of sending a text message you could just kind of buzz your boy's ass yeah you know oh that just made me think of

something like when you buzz your homie into the apartment oh instead of buzzing the the door oh yeah you don't have to walk over to the intercom thing you just have it it's a butt buzz yeah someone rings the doorbell it would be kind of nice too if you could activate it with like a clench to like yeah that's what i'm thinking like you're like a buzzer just like a knock like they signal you that you're they're here and you're like oh he's here yeah definitely like he's buzzed in um for things to win i mean a game of katana against the boys i had a for that a heated game of whack-a-mole against the girl i took on a first date to dave and busters you know where the mole's gonna pop up yeah um i think uh hooking them up to a like a police scanner would be pretty useful so like when you're driving

all of a sudden your ass starts buzzing and you're like oh there's a cop ooh that'd be nice yeah interesting um a blacked out political debate with the boys you know someone's just feeding you like the right information through your ass ooh yeah yeah yeah I would be willing yeah yeah yeah when it's definitely not a fart alert

oh I like that debate like like uh Yeah, yeah, that's when it's definitely not a fart alert oh Yeah, I like that debate like like a like something that's an unwinnable like a LeBron versus fucking yeah Jordan debate and you're just and you're someone gives you a stat yeah, you're like oh fuck I got nothing for that one more three-pointer. Oh wait Wait hold on What's a fart sound like with a butt plug in i don't think what's so good do it i think that's after you take it out no that's with the vibrate oh you did like one of the 2v and fucking yeah that's nice um i think it would be nice if it replaced uh like those little discs they give you at a restaurant yeah they and you just give them back at the end nice you just pull it back yeah yeah

um you got more this is getting out of hand um i there's nothing there's nothing that it's not good for honestly that doesn't pay patreon i had a metronome for singers to stay on beat during live performances oh yeah that'd be really good or a haptic suit for video games like so you could feel footsteps when somebody's behind you oh haptic suit for video games because the video games we're going to play in the future are going to hopefully involve yes just footsteps behind yes that's what he going to say. I also had lie detector. Tipping a baseball pitch.

Like the Astros move. Instead of just banging the fucking things. You just got something up your butt. Yeah, beads. There's other teams that have been accused. I don't know if it's also the Astros, but having a little buzzer too. On their chest, right? I know they did the trash can thing. They also apparently might have had buzzers under their shirt.

Yeah, under their shirt. That's crazy. Stick it in your ass. Why have it on your shirt? Why. Yeah, under their shirt. That's crazy. Stick it in your ass. Why have it on your shirt? Yeah, no one's going to find it. They'll find it in the jersey. They won't find it up your ass. Yeah, if anything, they're stupid. Level one.

Yeah, how could they this chess player be so next level to shove a thing up his ass but the Astros couldn't figure it out. That's, yeah, all the money that's in baseball doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, Jesus Christ. All right, ladies and gents, that's going to wrap it up for today. Thanks for tuning in.

Morty? Yeah, if you like the show, like, comment, share that shit. We need it, dude. We need it, dude. We're trying to, how big are we trying to do this, dude? Turn up the energy. You always sound so sad when you're doing it. We're trying to do it.

I'm not sad. I'm just like... This is me. Yo, if you fuck with us, fuck with us. No, I'm working to the crescendo. Okay, okay, okay. You're building us up. This is like when I'm on the battlefield and I start low and then I finally come up from

three great to three great. Like the Braveheart speech. Yeah, we're trying to fucking build a legion over here, okay? Over here. Over here. We're trying to build a legion over here. We're building a legion over here. Okay over here over here Legion over here and then slowly but surely. Yeah, if you guys want to support the show buy a shirt We got the manscape stuff. We got the patreon Yep, and the money goes through fucking it goes to hearts goes to JD glasses goes to breaking hearts

It goes to fucking bones and then for the patreon we're going to start putting a lot of the fan submissions on there yeah um so if you sent one and you didn't hear it on the podcast check over there it's probably where it's at check it out yep and then also for every 100 sales of anything we get we're going to do a challenge starting with the 6 12 18 24 what number are we out on that do you know um i think it's we gotta be in the 20s yeah yeah so we're at 25 so we're 25% of the way there yeah it's either between all the merch shit it's either patreon or merch yeah patreon or merch and then at a hundred we're doing 6 12 18 24 challenge okay flogging it yeah yeah yeah I live live streaming yeah and she's gonna be me in a bedroom 24 times still in there yeah i couldn't finish the rest of it yeah i finished everything else i've just got 20 more beats to get through but um yeah if you have any questions for the show just dm them to

us and we'll see you guys next week yes sir