NO FOMO - 4. Uncut Gaams

Episode Date: February 21, 2022

NO FOMO. Welcome Back Fomo Sapiens. This week we introduce the new Truth or Drink segment and talk about Pretty Baby names if they didn't mean what they meant and a plethora of straight gasoline Philosopher Stones.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Uncle John's. Uncle John. Uncle John. Uncle John. Uncle John. Uncle John. Uncle John. Uncle Jim.

Uncle John. Uncle John. Uncle John. Uncle John. Uncle Jay. Uncle Jay. Jay, what's poppin'? What's goin' on?

Well, from last week, you guys wanted me to come up with a little bit of a brand here. You wanted me to come up with some nicknames. Yeah, we want to pick you up. A moniker is the word. We want to pick you up. We want you to build your own brand. I came up with a list, and I want to know what you guys think. All right, let's run through some branding.

We'll start out here. We got the first one, Janus Johnplin. Like Janus Johnplin? Yeah. Janus Johnplin? I like that. I like that. I like that. And then we've got Long John Bronzers.

Like Long John Silvers, but worse. You really took this by heart. You spent a whole day on this. And then the next one is, where's the H? There's no H in my name. Big H. So for those who don't know, it's spelled J-O-N. There's no H.

The dumb way. But I have your name actually spelled on my phone, J-O-H-N, which I always feel bad about every time you text me. I fucking love that. It's Joe Nathan. I'm going to fire a few off here. We've got Genghis John. Yes!

Genghis John! J Money, just a classic. This one I was really proud of. Jonna Thanos? For the full name hitter? You spent a whole day on this, and I love that one. And then this one I was really proud of. John-a-Thanos? Yeah. For the full name hitter? I love it. You spent a whole day on this, and I love you for that. We're not even halfway through the list, my guy.

Oh, let's fucking run it. We've got Taiwan John. We've got, this one is a little bit of a stretch. Old Johnny. Old Johnny. John Normus Brain Jay? Yes. Jay-zus? Jay? Yes. Jay-zus?

Jay-zus. You could throw Christ in there if you want. No, you didn't. Jay-zus Christ. And then this was, I was trying to shorten Jay the best I could, so I came up with Juh. Just the sound. Just the first consonant. Just the consonant in that bitch.

Yeah, Juh. Juh. Then we've got, this is a classical trio right here of Lil Jon, Littler Jon, or Big Jon. Whatever you want there. Littlest Jon. Then we've got

Jailbait J. Or Pen Pal J. Pen Pal J. Pen Pal J. And then I did run out of ideas here so I typed it into a generator. And this is the only one

that came up. Jon the Adult Male. It's very descriptive. It's honestly so bad that I believe you. I'm a huge fan of Genghis John. Genghis John? I'm going to have to go Jesus. Jesus? Jesus busts out the back door.

Jesus is busting. But how do you spell it? Like literally just Jesus? It's just J and then Z. No, it's J-Sus. Oh. J-Sus. J-Sus. I'm Suss. J Suss.

What? I'm so sorry. That's it. I don't know how to think of that. I'm so sorry. God damn it. J Suss. I'm so sorry. That's it. So you just skipped the E. It's J Suss. We're set now. J Suss. Oh my god. So, welcome to the world J Suss. Yeah. Wow. That's it.

You're born again. Dude, that's why we put these big brains together. You're born again. Oh my are getting changed up that's why we put these big brains together you're born again what else what the fuck else we had the fucking Superbowl yeah I mean

honestly we were playing beer dive the whole time I didn't even watch it I missed the halftime show I had to watch it on YouTube after I felt like

was it good it was sick as fuck did you see it I did not watch but I felt so uncultured having to watch it on YouTube like in my bed alone

when we were at like a huge Super Bowl party and we missed the entire thing they like all walked out they're like oh dude best halftime show ever I was like

no one no one said the halftime show was on you didn't think that might be something that everyone what the fuck else did you think was happening at halftime?

all I know is I was sinking fucking die we were playing beer die you were 0-3 my boy alright you're such a bully sometimes, dude. Did you guys see the fucking...

They had like a news thing about Snoop Dogg smoking a blunt. That was like a show. I was like, what did y'all motherfuckers think Snoop Dogg is doing at any point during the day? There was a legitimate headline. Snoop Dogg smoked a joint.

Because I was going to say joint. Snoop Dogg smoked a joint. Because I was going to say joint. Snoop Dogg smoked a joint before he went on stage at the halftime show. No shit. Have you ever seen Snoop Dogg live before? I don't think I've ever seen him not smoking a J. That's what I'm saying. I couldn't even believe that they wasted my time making that fucking post. It pissed me off.

Yeah, we're in California. He's the most notorious stoner on the fucking planet. Headline? Couldn't believe it. Pothead smokes pot. Wow. Pothead smokes pot. Wow, you guys got us.

Pokes pot. He's poked smot. Poked smot. Yeah, so we had a party last night. That's why you're dressed up, right? Yeah. Yeah, we had a President's Day weekend party. So for those of you who aren't watching the video morgan is dressed as uh boy bj america's first

president benjamin franklin but not so banger banger uh i don't know what happened but it's still we stayed up all night i think we'll probably stitch in the uh the house here at this point yeah i took a good video. I had a great time, but... It looks like shit in here. Peter glued to the floor right now. I don't think I can move if I tried. I mean, I didn't sleep, so... Me and Moore got some Zs.

We did, a couple of them. Yeah. So we're back to doing the hungover thing. Yeah, we're right back. We've done everything. We've done the sober-sode, which turned into the drunk-sode. We've done the incredibly hungover-sode. I'd say I'm at a medium hangover.

I actually feel pretty decent. Well, we filled up before. We're fighting it off. I'm also on my third beer, so it's rapidly becoming the drunk-sode once again. And you guessed it. You know what we're going to do today? Me and you on this couch. Me and Morg on the couch.

All day. Fuck, I want to do that. Oh, wait. Real quick. Are you guys both fully caught up on Euphoria? Yes. Because at the end of the last episode, we were saying we were about to watch the whole thing, and we actually watched like four back-to-back episodes.

And the boys are hooked. The boys are hooked. The show's so fucking good. It's Rue What It Do. Oh, there's a new one. Oh, tomorrow. Rue What It Do. What date does it come out? It comes out on Sunday nights at 9 Eastern. So I'm on. How far are you? I caught all the way up.

You're all the way up? You're all the way up. I fucking rallied hard. Dude, how lit was that episode where Cal went off the rails? Oh, yeah. I didn't spoil anything. Yeah, yeah. You're not there?

No, I'm not there. I love that part. So you have two episodes left? I just watched. Because this was two episodes left? I just watched one where Rue went off. That was the most recent one, I'm pretty sure. Was it?

You mean the rehab? Where she lost the suitcase? Yeah. Is that the most recent one? Yeah. The first three episodes were the most intense, where Cal went off the rails. Where he's driving drunk and shit. Oh, that was the one before. Yes.

That was insane, bro. When he has his little dinger out. Dude. He went. He had a pretty heavy hog there. Dude, he had the heavy hog, dude. When he's just pissing on the floor. Dude.

He went the fuck off. We're going to spoil a little bit, but not a lot, dude. I mean, if you're not caught up to euphoria. Yeah, just catch up. Just come on. Stop. Stop. No, we're not going to spoil it. That didn't ruin anything.

No, I'm saying stop watching fucking Get A Life. Go watch every episode. The show's fucking good. I told you guys. He's like, oh, I don't want to watch a show about a high schooler. It's a fucking banger, bro. Yeah. It is.

It's so fucking good. I would not describe it as a show about high schoolers. Did I not say that directly to your face? I go, it's not about that it's not about that at all I think this season I don't even think I've seen him in school one time this season's been like very

this season's been like a super gnarly like individual character study like each episode's like one person going balls to the walls and I fucking love it what a fucking show do you guys watch the after show where they talk about it i hate that shit no like usually i hate it have you watched this show's version of it it's fucking it's so sick it's uh it's just a fucking good i just feel like they always are okie sucking themselves off dude they do no this no the after

show for i usually i hate it i usually will never watch it i accidentally left it on like post credits and it started playing hit the skip and it's like really fucking sick i didn't know zendaya is like an executive producer of the show too which is fucking is she really yeah she's a boss ass motherfucking bitch dude they they do such a good job at capturing emotion in that show yeah that is the the whole the whole vibe of the show, the tone, it's so unique. It's its entirely own thing. I think Ozark is a similar thing where the tone is very fucking unique. There's good stories,

and then there's a show that's its own entire entity. I don't even know what genre it is. You know what I think the whole time I'm watching it? How the fuck are they still making bad shows? Are you fucking kidding me? Someone's trying to FaceTime me. I don't know if my computer's receiving that. What the fuck, dude?

Jesus Christ. Get out. What is wrong with you? You're on time out, my dude. But, yeah. How do they make bad shows after you? If you watch that show, and you see, like, a formula for something good, how do you make a fucking bad show?

But, dude, this is like... I couldn't have said it better myself. This is like lightning striking. It is. But I just don't understand how you make... The culmination of those actors, the writer, it's based off of his experience. I'm pretty sure either he or someone very close to him

used to be a drug addict. So it's a very personal story. And it's about... Every character is an iteration of someone that he knew be a drug addict. So it's like very personal story. And it's about like every character is like an iteration of someone that he knew in his fucking life. They nailed the fucking drug addict point of view. Because the way that her emotions just, she goes through all of them to see what'll work on someone.

When she's like scrambling and she needs the drugs. That's why I want you to watch the after show because he talks about it. He's like, if I wanted to portray addiction as realistically as I could, I had to show the entire spectrum of how it works. You go from I'm sorry and crying to just what's the fucking suitcase? It's fucking – you become crazy.

You go through the whole gambit within seconds. Yeah, it's literally the person trying every – I love you, but I really need to relax. Everything they can to try to make up for it, but also where's the fucking drugs? Yeah, it's all for the trying every... I love you, but I really need to... Everything they can to try to, like, make up for it, but also, like, where's the fucking drugs? Yeah, it's all for the drugs. It's insane. It's all for the drugs.

It's so visceral and so fucking realistic. Like, even the making up part of it is still to get the drugs. For sure. Like, they're just trying to be, like... She's apologizing so that she's hoping, like, okay, I'll just smooth this out, and then I'm going to go find the suitcase.

You know what I mean? Yeah, she's going through just every emotion. It's terrifying. I mean, I've never known anyone that addicted to drugs or even addicted to drugs at all which i'm very fortunate to say um and if you do happen to know someone or you've done get dealt with it i i feel a lot more for you like it's an eye-opener of a show i'll say that like wow they fucking killed it just feels like way should we couch it for the next one what's that should we couch it here for the next one we couch it when the sode comes out watch it together oh for sure yeah tomorrow night okay yeah 100 we'll be right here okay do we want to go uh

best worst this week do a little a little week recap yeah yeah so we're gonna do a new thing where when we go over our weeks we're gonna say the best thing that happened and the worst thing that happened. It's Jesus. Oh, J-Sus. J-Sus. J-Sus Christ. J-Sus Christ. You want a bad lead off here? I'm going to start with the best thing. I'm going to give a shout out to the girlfriend.

We had a great Valentine's Day. I was going to say Valentine's Day was this week. Can we do a quick posi here? We all had Valentine's, but you went out with a girl on Valentine's Day. I was going to say Valentine's Day was this week. Can we do a quick posse here? We all had Valentines, but you went out with a girl on Valentine's Day. No, I didn't. Oh, shit. I thought you did. Sorry. We knew he didn't. I just wanted to say that. I had a Valentine. Two out of three.

He brings this kind of shit up just to embarrass me. I thought that was your plan, dude. I'm sorry, dude. Best thing that happened to me this week? I didn't get ghosted because i didn't text anybody is that not just like getting ghosted though no i go and text you i ghosted everybody in my life you're a theory with a full reversal i i flipped it on i'm like you can't ghost me if i never text you you're just eth ethereal now. I am ethereal. You hit next level.

I am transcended. But sorry, yeah. Do we want to go best, best, best? Worst, worst, worst? Or best, worst, best, worst, best, worst? I feel like we're already on best, best, best. Yeah. What do you got for your best?

Wait, what was your best? My best was Valentine's Day with a girlfriend. It was a nice time. Well, give us something. We did a little. Oh, she had a surprise. What ended up going down? What was her surprise?

She had a surprise. It was, we did a cooking class. It was fire. The guy was low-key Gordon Ramsay. He was pissed the nice time. Well, give us something. We did a... We never actually heard what ended up going down. What was her surprise? She had a surprise. It was... We did a cooking class. It was fire. The guy was low-key Gordon Ramsay. He was pissed the whole time. I fucking love cooking. He was yelling at people.

He was yelling at people? He was like, he's like, no, fucking... Take the bowl, put it to the left. Shut up.

And I went up and... How many people were in the class? There was eight of us. But so what I did is I was purposely fucking up to see how mad I could get. They wanted to call me a fucking donkey. Was he British?

No, but I wanted it. That was Shrek. It was Shrek. He doesn't say donkey. He says fucking donut. Did he put two pieces of bread on your ears and call you an idiot i wanted it so bad that would make my life yeah hit us with your fucking worst because my worst happened like

literally less than 12 hours ago i had a different one until this happened to me um this girl that was at the party last night me and her were just like kind of being jerks to each other for fun and we're like bullying each other like straight up like being mean to each other for fun. And we're like bullying each other, like straight up, like being mean to each other. And she said something to me and I was like, that didn't phase me. I'm all knowing, like all powerful.

I have the fucking infinity sense. She's like, oh, what are you Thanos? I was like, yeah, I am Thanos. She goes more like Thanos. Coffin. End of fucking times for my boy put me in a coffin and had a nail gun and fucking put 19 nails in it he also asked if you were preparing for a flood with your pants yeah she was roasting

me for cuffing my pants which i've been doing since the 11th grade and it looks steez so i was like you know what was the 11th grade thing like a flex? No, I've been doing this for fucking 10 years. It's not like I just decided to roll my pants up. Everyone cuffs their pants. It's called fucking swagger, motherfucker. And then I look at her pants and hers are cuffed up to her fucking knees. And she's like, well, I'm a girl.

I was like, well, you're a... I'm not going to say it. Love how that went. Let's just say we were being very mean to each other and I kicked her out of the house. Was this best or worst? This was my worst. She called me thin of stuff. Can I change that to my best?

Yeah, you can. You can. You can bring that. That was good. My worst was a simple one, the fact that I did not sleep last night. Yeah, yeah. good. My worst was a simple one, the fact that I did not sleep last night. It's a little different when your boys are all asleep and you're still awake.

It would have been best if there was any boys. It's interesting how no matter what happens, at least one to two of us didn't sleep. Last week it was me and Morg. Last week we slept well. Oh, that's right. Sober-soaked. Sober-soad.

My worst? Is that what we're on? I think so. Yeah. No, your worst. Well, didn't you not? No, I didn't do a worst. Because you're stupid. You guys see the news? There's a new variant. Stop. It's ten times more viral. Stop it. I swear to God. What's it called? You're fucking with me?

The boys on TikTok. Oh, shit. I'm sorry. Breaking news. The boys are absolutely busting on the TikTok. The algorithms. I don't know what it is, dude. Posted three talks, dropped 50k.

We were invisible on TikTok for, what, two years? We come back, we post three vids, and we got like 70,000 views in fucking two days. It was honestly fucking crazy. The boys are back in town. The boys are back in town. So yeah, I mean, yeah. If we were professors, it would be of virology.

You know what I mean? Virology, yeah. We're virologists. You know what I mean? Virology, yeah. We're virologists. Goddamn, it feels good to be a goddamn rock star, you know? We're TikTokers. I was going to say we're back, but like... As long as we don't start dancing, I'm in. No, we're not doing any dances. No, we got to FaceTime with fucking Bryce Hall after this. Oh, shit.

Renegade. Renegade. Renegade. We're not doing unka-jines. We're not doing any dances. That's Oh, shit. Renegade. Renegade. Renegade. Uncle John's. We're not doing Uncle John's. We're not doing any dances. That's off limits. You could dance. I mean, I could bust it down, but I'm not doing it on TikTok.

That's a private show for the boys. That's for the boys. That's for me and you on the couch after this. I'm going to show you some dances. Say what? What am I even saying? All right, we got a new fun one. It's the truth or drink segment.

Oh, fuck. It's in the title. Yeah, you don't need to explain that, I don't think. Yeah, there's no explanation necessary. So who would like to lead us off? I could lead off because this is one for both of you guys. This is my truth or drink. It is what do you think of when you're trying not to come?

Like, you're going to bust too soon? I have a distinct thing I go to every single time. Perfect. Are you going to say it? I think of baseball. Are you fucking kidding me? It's not that interesting, but I'm dead serious. I'm just being honest.

Like, what about it? Like, the middle of the game? I think of that interesting, but I'm dead serious. I'm just being honest. Like, what about it? You think of, like, the middle of a game? I think of, like, the San Diego Padres. Like, I'll picture, like, a baseball game in my head. You'll just picture yourself watching a baseball game? No, like, I'll picture, like, I'll literally just picture a baseball game. Not me watching one. I'll just picture a baseball game.

Morgan? Because that's fucking, that's almost weirder than what I was expecting. Well, it's very specific because that's legitimately what I think of. I've been doing this for like since I started doing this shit, you know what I mean? So at four years old. There's two for me. You can decide

which one is worse. One is the boys. Stop. See, that would end me immediately. Are you trying to finish um that works one percent of the time 99 of the time it works one percent of the time the other what's the i think i got this from a movie what's the spider-man thing you got me i have no fucking clue what you're talking about it's like in a movie it was just

the guy's thinking about spider-Man over and over. I think you're thinking of Tom Holland in tights and you come instantly. Yeah, so that also works 1% of the time. So neither of those work ever. But yeah. All right. I don't think we're going to get a whole lot of drinks out of this,

but I love the start. Well, I mean, if I were to ask the questions I initially had, no one's answering a single one of them. You go ahead, because I have to re-evaluate what I was going to ask. You go ahead. Read your most embarrassing text from one of the most recent times

you've been ghosted by a girl. You're fucked. Why is this a recurring theme? You're fucked. Because I a recurring theme you're fucked because I love this for you god forbid someone on the show is vulnerable and admits that you know they got ghosted

and you guys just press the line week after week after week we're digging holes baby it sounds like you're kind of beating around the bush you're gonna read this fucking thing hey there no give us a couple more words you could also drink beating around the bush, you're going to read this fucking thing? Hey there. No. Give us a couple more words. You could also drink.

Give us three or four more words. I would really like the chance to apologize. That's good enough. How long was the ghost on that one? Five days. I did get a response, though. Five days seems appropriate

just for the little bit that we got to hear that's honestly i'm surprised i ever got a response i'm glad that's all you said because we got the whole picture just from that hey there hey there i would hey there bro hey there i'm gonna keep it a Benjamin Franklin hunted. These streets are colder than shit. They are. Hey there. Hey there.

Just checking in. No. Just following up. Just simping hard. Just circling back. Just simping real hard. For my last eight messages. Just returning a message from other messages. Just wondering if you got my voicemail.

Never left a voicemail. Never left a voicemail. Never left a voicemail. Hello there. What the fuck? I didn't really think we were going to get any drinks out of this. I mean, yeah. Well, you're not getting the full message. I would really love the chance to apologize.

You got another one? I have a shit ton. Do we want to do more? Fire off at least one more. Oh, I have to do one for you. Yeah. But I also have a shit ton. Do we want to do more? Fire off at least one more. Oh, I have to do one for you. Yeah. But I also have a shit ton.

Do more. I mean, I'll be honest. When I was thinking of mine, they're honestly so bad that I feel bad even asking. So, like, if you just want to rip an extra to compensate for mine. I could do that. Hit it. Hit it. Big heat from the shmeet.

Are you ready for this? I don't. I don't. I got my drink ready. I'll tell you that. Because his are like personal attacks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they're not. They're fucking gasoline.

Fire it. I'm ready. Read your softest text from you and your girlfriend. Like the most recent one. I can't read it, but I can think of it off the tops. Okay, that's good. That's fine. I'll say it.

I don't give a fuck. Wait, when was it from? I know, but... When was it from? Like four hours ago. Oh, let's go. Oh, yes. She called. We were on the phone.

I said, I love you at the end. And then she didn't say it. And I texted her, you didn't say I love you back. Oh shit. That's dead. You're a bitch my boy. Did she respond to that? Yeah she said I love you. Okay. Thank fucking god. Yeah I was like

woof. So forced. Have to beg for it. When you have to beg for affection. It doesn't get much softer than that but that's pretty fucking soft. to beg for affection. Oh, when you have to beg for affection. It doesn't get much softer than that, but that's pretty fucking soft. That's pretty fucking soft. All right. Do we want more?

This is kind of fun. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. Do you have one? Because I just noticed this. What the fuck is this? Oh, yeah. That's, first of all...

Put it in frame. Why is this sitting here? No, that... There's a pen stabbed into a fucking orange just sitting on the table for some reason. So from the party last night, we were all in the back room, and that was just there.

And I just- Does anyone know who did this? I don't really know what to think. If it is your roommate, you need to consider- You're living with a serial killer. Yeah, they're one step away from killing like a squirrel. Did you?

Who else said that? Somebody said the same thing last night. That might have been me. That sounds like something I would say considering I just said it. Yeah, it honestly does. It's one of those things where it makes such little sense that you just go serial killer right off the bat. Whoever did that is a serial killer.

That's an angry move. You don't need to stab that. That's a perfectly eatable shower orange. And also if you're just listening, it's an orange stabbed with a pen. There is the first 15% of a pen.

I just noticed you sitting right next to your computer and I was like, wait. We brought it out because we had to talk about it. I can't hold my tongue. What the fuck is that? I don't know what the fuck happened. Someone wanted to feel what it's like to break flesh with a stabby thing. All right. Know what's next?

Humans. It's a logical next step. Check your freezer, my guy. Yeah. There might be a human fucking head in there. Or you want to save a couple of these or you want to fire one more off? No, I have so many. It's ridiculous.

I want one more. Hit me again. Okay. I'm not afraid. I want them. Fire one more. Hit me again. Okay. I'm not afraid. Go back at him. Try and get me to drink. When slash what was the last thing you lied to the boys about? Lied to the boys about?

Oof. I mean, I can almost say with 100% confidence that I can't think of a time I have any time recently. You've definitely lied. When you had a girlfriend, you're telling me you didn't lie and say you were busy doing some shit, but you're actually... No, I mean, you were well aware that I would just say it, and you guys would call me a pussy, and I'd just accept it.

I'm actually trying to brainstorm. Okay, it doesn't have to be that recently. I can't think of a scenario in which I would need to lie to the boys. That's on facts on God. No, that's on God on facts. But I'll drink anyway, because fuck. I don't like...

Whoa! No, I answered the question. But I'm saying I'm drinking. But that was just weird timing. Okay, okay. It seemed like you were trying to cover it up. I'm going to dab you up again. I guess when you're playing truth or drink, if a guy takes a drink, it's sus.

It's J-sus. It's J-sus. No, I'm telling you, the answer was not any time i can think of literally ever but like definitely not anytime recently okay okay well same question to you you don't absolutely never worry never have i'm saying i don't think i ever have i can't think of a time i would need to lie to you guys i'd have to be doing some baby shit soft thing to lie and it would have to be softer but like i had a girlfriend for seven years like what you guys already knew i was baby you would just put yourself in the doghouse for the boys like if i was like low-key like dating a new girl that's where the lies would come into

play you know i mean you'd be like? You know, you're ditching the boys to hang out with some girl you've known for two weeks. But it was like, okay, it's your girlfriend of seven years. You have a pass. So I never needed to lie.

Because that's the only scenario in which I'd lie. Thank God. If you had drank on that one, I was going to flip out. I know Jay's. I know Jay's. Oh, no, no.

I actually have one for me. You have one for you? Yeah. Wait, what? Oh, I thought you were going to ask yourself, you mean an answer to this question. Yeah. You're going to snap my heart in half and tell me you've one for you yeah wait what oh i thought you were gonna ask yourself you mean an answer to this question yeah you're gonna snap my heart in half and tell me you've lied to me before

well so i mean we thought last night we had a party last night oh yeah that was a fucking lie dude i'm a marketing wizard i'm sorry what i sent out a text to all the boys i was like yo we're gonna have like 200 people here can you send me whatever amount of money for booze? Because I really thought we were going to have 200 people here. So it wasn't meant as a lie. It just ended up as a lie? No. So it's more of like a marketing thing.

But it's a lie. Wait. I thought we were going to have 200 people. When you said that, it was just a made-up number. Yeah. But it sounded so good. Oh, dude. I was ecstatic.

Yeah. 200? Yeah. I mean, we good. Oh, dude, I was ecstatic. Yeah. 200? Yeah. I mean, we thought. Right. Two. 12. Yeah, that was, I mean, this mess for 12 would be pretty unreal.

I would say how many people. No, there was probably 100 people here. 100 people came through the door. It was bad flow. The flow was off. Do you agree? Or am I high? We started too early, and then 20 people came at three in

the morning yeah they all came terrible they all came at the same time why did they come here at three in the morning what was going through their fucker brain degeneracy absolutely horrific we would have done the same thing yeah yeah that's fair yeah the best part is i sent them the address and there's a street of the same name in coronado which is 30 minutes from here and that sounds like a lie to the boys they went there and they still came all the way yeah that is the best part about it at like 2 30 in the morning yeah all right jay same question to you last time i lied to the boys i don't i don't count i feel like it's mad reason i don't count this as a lie

but we'll decide but I've been doing something that I didn't want the boys to know about and I turned off my location I fucking knew something sus was up I hate that you guys never asked so I didn't have to lie I called you out

you asked why explain yourself I don't even remember why I was doing something with the girlfriend you just lied to us right now You asked. Why did you do that? Why? Why? Explain yourself. I don't even remember why. Oh, you lied. I was doing something with the girlfriend. You just did. You just lied to us right now. It was something with the girlfriend.

I couldn't tell. Why would we care? J-Sus because you're sus. Yeah. J-Sus is starting to feel like a really fitting name for you, bro. It was fitting from the start. Let's be real. I'm disappointed as shit.

Damn. Because I even called you out and you go, oh, dude, that's crazy. I should definitely have that on at all times you can't even turn it off without doing it purposely we talked about it on the pod un-fucking-believable wow i i honestly have so many good ones of these let's just keep running they're so good i'm all for it if any of them suck we can just cut them. What is the weirdest thing you've used at... I couldn't even get that sentence out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Red leather, yellow leather, red leather. Don't rain me, Faso. The boys are so good. Here we go. What is the weirdest thing you've used as toilet paper when you ran out? Fuck. I do this every time when you run out of toilet paper i've used the roll no no no fucking way you rolled up you go cardboard cardboard roll

you use the fucking roll so you take it off of the thing yeah i've done that wait wait it gets better than this do you do you do you tear it down? Like, and unravel it? Or do you use it as a cylinder? I get, like, a nice, like, oval shape. And just full... Because you're running low on stuff at this point. So you make sure you tip to tip that fucker. Or do you flatten it and fucking...

The way you're describing this... I rub it down. I rub it down. Do you flatten it and then credit card it? No, what I actually do is I use the whole part and I scoop. Shut the fuck up. I scoop with the edge.

I coat it. The fact that you're presenting this as a tutorial makes me think this has happened a fuckload of times. I hate, I don't like getting up when you have shitty butt. When you have poopy butt, I don't like that up when you have shitty butt. Ooh, poopy bud.

Yeah. When you have poopy bud, I don't like that waddle and that like smear that you, it's, you know, it's rubbing. Oh, it's, it's absolutely. It's getting everywhere. Yeah. It's dirt cheeks. So yeah, it's the closest thing that's disposable.

Wait, so how do you do it? Wait, you said you oval it? I oval it and just tip to tip it, wipe like a regular wipe. It's just like a. Wait, so you flatten it and then you use it as. Wipe. Like a regular wipe. It's just like an extra thick toilet paper. You flatten it and then you use it as a piece of paper. Yeah, I just use the edge.

I use the edge as a wipe. A narrow sheet. I'll get a tutorial out. We'll go get a toilet paper roll. I'll show you. That's fucking bad. I wasn't expecting that. Why would you do that? It's a panic move. I'd sooner hop in the shower than do that? It's a panic. It's a panic move.

Like I'd sooner hop in the shower than do that. Well, yeah, that's the obvious easy way out. I mostly didn't like how quick you thought of that because I know it's recent. The way he described it was like, yeah, this is what I do. Yeah. That sounds like a once a week or two.

It's saving trees if you think about it. I'm using the entire toilet paper. That's not the way to think about it. No, because you're still using it. It's going in if you think about it. I'm using the entire toilet paper. That's not the way to think about it. No, because you're still using it. It's going into the trash can. It's going in the same spot. Exactly. You're using it, though.

It gets a use out of it instead of just thrown away. Oh, my God. My good God. The real problem is disposal after that because you can't flush that. Yeah, so what? You just leave it in the fucking trash can? I have a collection. Yeah.

Right next to my orange peels. Let it dry and then just pop it in the fucking trash can i have a collection yeah right next to that my orange peels let it dry and then just save it fucking sick you're fucking god you're looking at me like it's my turn to answer yeah i cannot wait for what you're gonna say um we you said weirdest no the most normal thing that was was the question. You fucking twat. I mean, I've definitely just like said fucking hop in the shower. But weirdest would be probably just like the hand towel that you use to dry your hands off. I wish you didn't say towel after hand. I really wish you didn't. I mean, oh.

I was so excited. I left it. I was so excited for just hand. No, I've not used my own hand. I mean, oh. I was so excited. I left it. I was so excited for just hand. No, I've not used my own hand. I mean, if you get in the shower. You never did a handy before? If you get in the shower, you're using your hand. But you've never done a handy?

I mean, I've given a few handies, but that's fair. That's fair. You know? So just the hand towel, I think you've done way worse than that, and that's a good cover-up, though. I mean, I want to say I think I've done a bath mat before. I like that. I like that.

The back side, too? Did you dog scoot? The rubber side on the bottom. Did you dog scoot on it? I want to say I did it at an Airbnb and then just threw it in the garbage after. At an Airbnb? Not even a hotel?

Like a person's house? No, someone's home. Yeah. Like where they raise their kids. That's almost worse than mine. You came out to the living room and dog scooted. Like a decorative one. I could see you.

I'm picturing you dog scooting right now. It was from anthropology. It was like a $45 bath mat. Why can I see you dog scooting like a motherfucker? I was going to say, I just plopped down and scooted across the floor. Just snail trailed it out. Oh, fuck. All right.

Well, right back at you, Morg. Okay, so I think this was Coachella circa like 2014 or something like that. Oh, I didn't even think about festivals. Yeah. See, that's when it gets weird. See, I was thinking normal shit. Okay, this isn't... I have a couple ideas.

The seat liner, that's not that weird, but it's like... Oh, I've definitely done that. And those things are like... They're thinner than fuck. No, they got mad slip on them. You know what I'm saying? Because they're... Yeah, it's kind of...

You're kind of just spreading it around. There's no traction on those fuckers. Yeah, like you slip up, you kind of fucking lower back the fucking street. You use a whole pack. Lower back. Holy fuck. You might fucking lower back the streak. You might slide up to your fucking L7 vertebrae.

Next thing I know, I'm fucking up to my shoulder blades. But other than that, I'd say probably like a sock. Oh, I'd definitely use a sock. Yeah. I didn't think that was that weird. I thought that was like commonplace. Everyone's coming out with stuff now. You're using, I mean, definitely my own underwear, a sock.

Those were like the normal ones. The weird ones was like snail trailing on a bath mat. But I do have a funnier story. So I had, this was like seventh grade. I had a cast. I broke my left ankle and my right thumb at the same time so i couldn't wipe with my right hand and i also couldn't walk very well obviously yeah so i took a shit and i was like about to take a shower and i have to wear two fucking shower things that go over the thing

so i have those on already the hair net net things. No, they're like plastic wraps. Yeah, they suck ass. So I just said, let it ride because I was taking a shower after. So I go to get in the shower and I can't step in with the foot because I can't balance on the other one. So I had to sit down on the side of like the bathtub.

Oh, I've been there. Yeah, I had to like sit down and then put one leg over and then the other one and then stand up. And when I sat down, I just left a marquee on the floor. You're fucking horrific. Wait, you were allowed to put weight on the cast?

I was just taking a shower. But you would stand up with the cast on? Just to like maneuver to the... Just from toilet to shower. It's like two steps. When I broke both of my feet, I couldn't be weight-bearing at all. Oh, well, feet is different than ankle.

I would butt scoot into the tub and I had to have my feet hanging out of the tub. So I'm like horizontal. Can I just say I miss double broken ankle or foot fucking Garrett? Dude, that was the best Garrett. I mean, okay. Should I tell the story

just so people have a clue? Give them the background. So it had to have been, what, 2019? Went to a Padre game with a bunch of my friends at Pecco Park. And the Padres were winning by a lot, so my friends were leaving. I was sitting behind these two Giants fans, this father and son,

and I'm literally just whispering horrendous shit in their ears. But they're cracking up. It was fun, but I was talking mad shit. A home run would get hit, and I'd be like, Oh, you like that, bitch? He's just like, home run. That's a home run, motherfucker. That was a home run.

No, so I'm just like talking shit to them and everyone decides to leave and just doesn't tell me or I might have just been so engaged in this conversation that I didn't notice so I turn around and everyone's gone and we're on like the second deck and I walk down to the end of the thing and all my friends are at the bottom and they're like come on

fucking hurry up and I was like okay what's the quickest way down? Jump off the fucking side right?. I've landed jumps this high before. It was probably I want to say it was 20 feet. Landed is such a weird word for that. Yeah, 20 feet. If I landed the way I intended to, I could roll it out and I would have been fine. What does landed mean

to you? Like, you kind of like, you roll your feet and He's talking like a gymnastics landing. You full body roll it. You sang your Tom Cruise jumps before. Yes. You've Mission Impossible'd before. But I slipped and landed

just square on my heels and got a hairline fracture in both my heels at the same time. And I was in double leg casts up to my knees for eight weeks. That was the toughest. And then crutches for another like six.

I had to relearn how to walk. Not because of the fucking feet, just because you're fucking... Just because I'm stupid, yeah. DJ'd on his knees in a wheelchair. Yeah, I would play shows and I would turn the wheelchair around and be on my knees and I was like a normal height.

No one could tell from the other side. You could tell though. I couldn't move side to side. No lateral motion. That was kind of a giveaway. People actually had no clue. People would come backstage and be like, what in the fuck is going on? That was a dark period in time because when I had to get

to the bathroom, I had to crawl on my hands and knees. I love how many times I've pictured you crawling or scooting. Me and Morgan would hang out. He'd come to my hands and knees. And it wasn't- How many times I've pictured you crawling or scooting? Like, yeah, when Morgan would, like me and Morgan would hang out, he'd come to my house and carry me from my bedroom to the car,

put my wheelchair in the car, set me in the backseat. That's on the boys, dude. I mean, a brother is, you know? Yeah, a brother is. He really- He did that last week for me. I fell asleep in the car and he carried me in.

I really got to see where my true friends were and all the boys are the boys, you know what I mean? Wait, speaking of a brother is, that's a good fucking segment, dude. A brother is. That's our a brother is segment are the boys. You know what I mean? Speaking of A Brother Is, that's a good fucking segment. A Brother Is. That's our A Brother Is segment of the week. So yeah, that's my cripple story. I went to Coachella in the wheelchair.

One of the most fun experiences of my life, honestly. I got treated like a fucking prince, bro. It was fucking epic. Let's do one more of these because they're just so good. What is the most obscure place you've shmeeted your meat i mean is there anywhere that i haven't like really so it sounds like you got options yeah um he's i think the weirdest the weirdest was probably like the weirdest most dangerous ones i've done

it at i did it at school in the bathroom i've done it one is I've done it at, I did it at school. In the bathroom. I've done it in class. I've done it in class. You've done it in, yes. Seventh grade. Seventh grade. How did you do that? Silence sustained reading.

Seventh grade English. Oh, everyone was dead silent? I was in the back and my teacher was Boston, dude. Oh no, I had a bad science teacher. I swear to God. You're fucking i played pocket pool in my seventh grade science class 100 you played pocket pool yeah well you can't whip full meat out that's how you end up on the list i mean that's how you end up

on a list that's how you end up on the list yeah holy shit so i'm like yeah i'm in the back of the class my desk mate whatever you call him, the person that I was assigned to sit next to, didn't show up. So I showed out. He's like, he's right there. I showed the fuck out. No, I think that's for sure mine.

In class. In class. If you say anything worse than that, I'm fucking terrified. There can't be worse than that. That's for sure it. That's so risky. The balls you have to have.

It's not risky. It's risque. Well, I didn't hug one off. You're not whipping it out though. All it takes is one person to drop their pen. But you're not whipping it.

I'd like reach down and pick it up and they're like, oh, your hands. You're bricked up. Your hands in your pants. No, no. I didn't put my hand

in my pants. You took your, you took your shmeet out? No, no, no, no. I just did it from from over you oh you op i otphj yourself yeah that is i pocket pulled it dude seventh grade that's weird that's only doable that young i don't think you could do that anymore well yeah well mostly because i'm not in school no i mean mostly because we're almost 30 and that

would be we'd probably go to jail i just mean the otp bj part i mean handjob bj'd myself but also we're just placed jerked off in the bed next to you that's's not even that weird, I don't think. Same. Yes, dude. Oh, yeah. Dude, that's my fucking boy, dude. I'm like, do you think, I wonder if he feels this. And I hear you snoring.

I'm like, I pray to God it was the same time. I'm good. No, you were snoring and I'm like, oh, let's go. He's out. He's out like a light. He's got the eye mask on. He's snoring. I'm cranking bait.

I told you these fucking guys. Then you tussle a little bit. I'm like... He fucking grabs my hand. He's like... How asleep is he? How asleep can you really be? How asleep is he really? He can't be that sleepy.

Borg is just fake sleeping the whole fucker time. Just puts my hand on his chest. He's sitting there snoring. He's legit hitting you with a fucking... You were snoring. I'm like... You're not even jerking it in like, me, me, me. You're not even jerking it in that scenario. It's just me.

Oh, my God. Now that I think about it, that wasn't my hand. Fuck, dude. Well, we can safely say that is a segment we're going to be continuing to do. Absolutely. Let's get out of this one before we literally never leave it. Yeah, this one goes fucking ape shit. Nicknames.

Nicky names. Wait, nickname? I thought it was baby names. Pretty baby names if they didn't mean what they meant. So we each came up with a few. Do we want to go one by one? I think so. Yeah, go ahead.

Fire yourself. Can I go first? Yeah. Nagasaki. Right out of the gates is that cute it's a pretty name if you don't think about the whole that's true you've got the sake in there it's cute like a cute little it's got the sake in there is that a boy name or a girl name i think it's a cute cute little Asian girl name. It's cute. Yeah. Okay, Morg. That one's steamy.

That's objectively horrible. Is she from Boston? Okay, I got one. Tortilla. That's actually just cute. That's actually just cute. Little baby tortilla. Little baby tortilla. That's actually cute. Color torty?

Yeah. Torta. Torta. Torta for a little fat boy. It's more. Torta. Torta. Torta.

Baby torta. Yes. Yes. Little torta. Areola. Oh, God. That is probably the best, like, actually would be cute if it wasn't what it was. That one goes tough.

Misogyny. You just picked horrible words. His son's name is going to be like fucking dumbass or something. I thought it was funny. I got a good one here. Roofie. Fuck. That was pretty good.

Roofie would be good. I could see a dog being named Roofie. Yeah. No, it's kind of cute. Roofie is pretty cute. Okay. Chastity. That's a name.

I feel like that's a real name that's an actual fucking name stripper name there are that is a you're an idiot I've heard that as an actual name that's an actual name

chastity which is bad for them yeah that's just a you're a fucking I have one like that Karen yeah

Karen sucks Karen fucking sucks is a name there's no way anyone from this point forward will ever be named Karen, I feel like. Isn't that crazy? Society is weird, dude. That name is fucked.

As it should be, though. And also, like, who's naming their kid Jeffrey after Epstein? You know what I mean? Also that. I got another one. Let's see. Bidet. That's actually, like, a cute little French name.

If it's a male, it's Bideo. Bideo. I've got one. No, that's Spanish. I don't want to hear it, it's Badeo. Badeo. I've got one. No, that's Spanish. I don't want to hear it if I'm being real. Go. Armageddon. That was it.

Scramble, scramble, scramble. Hepatitis. And her middle name starts with a C. You could go with C or B. Hepatitis C. Or A. You can go with either. B for girl.

Honestly, I wasn't even trying to be funny. I just completely fucked that in my head. Yes, B for boy. No, like imagine you call her like Heppy. You call her like Heppy. It's like a cute little nickname. Oh. Lil Hep.

But her name's Hepatitis. If it's a rapper, Lil Hep. I'm going to say strongly that all of yours were not good. All right. That they were all not possible actual names. I think Misogyny would be a cute name. Absolutely not. Well, you're thinking of it in context.

Nope. Absolutely not. You got another one, Morgan? Absolutely. Yeah. Gucci. Damn, that's good. I might pull that one out anyway

I might steal that I got one more salami that's just so stupid that kid's IQ is fucking 40 it's a little Italian boy you call her Sally salami

there you go you're perfect if it's a girl it's even worse let's see here fellatio There you go. You're perfect. If it's a girl, it's even worse. Let's see here. Felicio. Felicio. Felicio. He's Italian for sure.

That's an Italian name. It's got to be, right? Garrett, do you have another sexually transmitted disease for us? No. You're done? I'm done. You guys said you didn't like it. I got one.

I thought Nagasaki was cute. It's working more and more for me. Okay. I'll give it to you. I've got to give something to you. Felony? That's actually... That one could be a name.

That one's actually... Really? Yeah. There's Melody, Harmony, Felony. Felony. I like that. I could get behind that. I'm out.

You're out? My only other ones were all food-based. Like, I thought, like, Banana would be a good name. It's got Anna in there. Or Celery. It's got Anna in there. A real name. Basil?

Basil's good. That's a name. Basil's good. I guarantee you there's some hippie motherfucker who named their kid Basil. Or arugula or some bullshit. Not so much arugula. I'll fucking look it up right now. You going to die on that hill?

I'm going to look it up. There's a fucking kid named arugula. I'm just getting pictures of lettuce. I mean, if you Google arugula, it's probably going to be a lot of arugula. It thinks I don't know what that type of lettuce is named. You know what? In Europe, they call it rocket. What?

So you made that up? No, look it up. They call it like rocket. I'm serious. Look it up. Fuck off. There's no shot. Make your camera real quick.

I'm serious. They call it rocket, like R-O-K-I-T. Rocket? Look it up. Look up arugula and then type in R and it'll say it. I swear to God. Oh, yeah, they do. They call it rocket.

It's spelled fucking R-O-Q-U-E-T-T-E. Yeah, it's spelled straight. Roquet. Roquet. Oh, it's Roquet. Yeah. But in Spain they straight up say rocket. In France it's probably Roquet.

You know what I mean? Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Okay. It's game time. we oh philosopher sing for me hit it you're a wizard i've had a cadaver i like that one i like that yeah it's a calmer You're a wizard, Harry. Avada Kedavra. I like that one. I like that. It's calmer. You're a wizard, Harry.

The boy who lives. The boy who lived has come to die. Hit me. I need to practice this. No, you don't have to. I like the subtle one. Yeah. Okay.

I'll stick with the subtle. But do it just because you have to. Because I have to that was actually solid that was better I need to practice that here we go what do you think people did before toilet paper

and there is an answer I did research it's for sure gotta be like a leaf or something right no it's way worse than that it's way worse than that just dropped it be like a leaf or something right? no it's way worse than that it's way worse than that just dropped it low in a creek or something wait how

can I get in like when was toilet paper brought around they probably used like a fucking towel like the same towel over and over again like some sheet like a wool towel I like to think if they didn't even have paper, they definitely didn't have towels. Yeah.

That's fair. Paper is probably first. What is it? Okay. It's got to be. It's not a leaf. I read up on this. That would be fair.

Before toilet paper, people mainly used whatever was free and readily available for personal hygiene. Unfortunately, many of the options were quite painful. Wood shavings, hay, rocks, corn fucking cobs, and even frayed anchor cables. Fuck off. Ancient Romans used a sponge on a stick that sat in a bucket of salt water and was shared by everyone.

Oh my God. Did you get that on Wikipedia? Cause I made that up. I feel like at that point you just don't even wipe. What's the best and worst out of that? The best I think is corn on the cob. The rock is the worst. I think rock has to be the worst.

Wood shavings? A rock? You're, you're telling me like a piece of bark is ruining your life? I think those are equally fucked. No, for the corn on the cob, though, it says they just left it in. It's one of those things where you just roll in with that. You know what I'm thinking, though? Like in terms of...

Like you just leave the cob there. In terms of like the natural... Oh, like you reuse the cob? No, like you just leave it in for like two hours. I like to think they shoved the whole cob in there. I think the corn on the cob could be useful because, I mean, it's got like space. I like to think they shoved the whole cob in there. I think the corn on cob could be useful because it's got space. Ridges. It's got some ridges.

It's not super hard, hopefully, if it's a freshie. I like to think they just shoved that whole fucker in there. What if that was the first douche? What's the original douche? The original dilds? Was the corn on the cob, for sure. You think the leaves were on? You think they peeled it?

No, I'm thinking the corn's off. They ate the corn off. It's just the little bit of it. Just the husk? Yeah, because they got to eat the corn, right? Oh, see, I went on the complete backside of you. I'm saying they picked it, left the leaves on. They just wash it off and eat it later?

But you're saying they ate the corn and then used the... Because you think about when you eat the corn off, it's got the little ridges on there. It's collectible. It is. It has a service area. I'm thinking in the evolution of hygiene, at what point

did someone even decide that you needed to wipe after? Because there was thousands of years where they're just like, why would you even think to do that? To think that that was a step in human evolution. Right? Like someone's like, I should probably clean this up. I smell horrific.

Fuck. And then you'd also think in terms of evolution as well, if something like that was so common, and like, you'd think like it wouldn't even smell bad to humans because it would be so yeah. Like wiping was invented after showering was normal. Like that had to go hand in hand. Right.

Think of how shitty people smell. But I'm saying this, how bad do they already smell? But this is what I'm saying. If, if everyone just smelled like that all the time, you'd think we would evolve to not think it's disgusting. We would just be like, that's just what humans smell like.

You know what I mean? It wouldn't be odd. It'd be like, oh, you guys smell like shit. You guys smell normal. I want to feel like that's a necessary part of evolution. No, I'm glad it happened, but I'm just curious at what point where we're like, yo, I don't like this smell anymore.

No, but I think, so things smell bad because they're bad for you. But it's not bad to have a little shit on your butt. But it smells bad because, like, you don't want to eat shit, you know? It smells bad because, okay. Like, evolutionarily, that's why it smells bad. I mean, it tells you to, like, not ingest that. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's why we think it's bad. And we don't, I'll just smell like shit and we're just like, ah's why it smells bad. I mean, it tells you to, like, not ingest that. Yeah. Yeah. So that's why we think it's bad. And we don't all just smell like shit, and we're just like, ah, fuck it. True. I guess because, like, a lot of your smell comes from, or a lot of your taste comes from smell. So it's like, it smells bad, it's going to taste bad. It's not, you shouldn't put it in your body. Exactly.

That makes sense. Yeah. So wipe. So wipe up. If you're listening, just wipe, dude. So we went from fucking rocks to man wipes? what's that was that in order we've come or was that just stuff that was copy pasted no that's that wasn't in order that was that wasn't that wasn't like the evolution of wiping okay because if it went from the objects that have been used if it went shavings this has to be the worst the rusty anchor chain chain? Yeah, wait. That one's made up.

That one slid under the radar big time. Someone slipped that in there. What in the fuck? You're telling me someone's flossing? How many anchor chains are there? Someone's flossing their fucking cheeks with a rusty... Wait, so they have anchor cables but not paper? They invented anchors before they invented paper?

Yeah, no, fuck that one. Fuck that one. We didn't have iron. I don't believe that for a goddamn second. I need to go back to this article. Yeah, you got fucking played. Is that from The Onion? No. You fucking simp. I need to go back to this article. Yeah, you got fucking played. Is that from The Onion? No.

You fucking simp. I mean, rocks is in there. Rocks was the third thing. If you're born deaf, what form do you think? I already knew what you were going to go with. What form? What form do you think in?

Form. Oh, like what? Like if you can't think in words? Like, because I pretty much talk to myself. I feel like I... Oh, yeah, everyone has... Like, I hear my own voice in my head. Yeah, exactly.

Like, that's how you think. Yeah. Probably... It sounds fucking weird, but probably like hand shit, right? Sign language. Think of how slow that is, though, right? Well, but you can think fast.

But you have to... Or do you just... You still can think in words, right? No. No? No, because you've never heard a word. Yeah. This goes back to what we talked about last time, like the language paradox.

Yeah. This is a completely different level to it. It's like, imagine zero language whatsoever. You think in ideas. Wait, imagine not even knowing what sound is. Yeah. Well, yeah. That's being deaf.

Fucking gnarly. But you can't even, you don't even know what you're not perceiving. Oh, have you seen the- Well, think about every- That's fucking crazy, dude. Every thought you have is in English language. Yeah. But you don't even know he's thinking in like what

sound is have you seen the the stuff about you're thinking in like concepts it has to be like conceptually but wow that's how do you even think like that that's fucking gnarly if you're born deaf you don't even know what sound is have you guys seen the stuff about people who get their hearing like through the implants yeah that's just crazy or disappointed about like what they thought stuff would sound like really really i haven't heard that that's there's like a bunch i can't think of it one of them was like they were upset that the fridge didn't make any noise like they thought it made noise like when you opened it it would be like maybe what does that even mean to them well they they like i don't yeah i don't

know right they had expectations of what stuff would sound like and they're like for all you But what does that even mean to them? Well, they like, yeah, I don't know. Right? They had expectations of what stuff would sound like. For all you know, it could be taste in your ears. Okay, you're not illiterate. You have a grasp of how stuff works. No, but you don't know what sound is. I know, but I could explain to you what sound is.

How? Through fucking sign language. How would you explain in words what sound is how through fucking sign language how would you explain in words what sound is wait also you you can still learn language through reading yeah you don't know what it sounds like so you have the basis of oh yeah you can still see words yeah that's how they do it for you do it through reading this is how you can tell we didn't sleep so you can establish we got to that so late that first like you you can read but like so you establish a baseline of language obviously you just don't know what it sounds like but you still have concepts but like still goes back to like how do you think like you don't know what the word sounds like so like when

i think you have a fucking word when you're thinking like i hear my own voice in english in my head non-stop 24 7 yeah because i think in hearing i think in my own voice in english good so good job it's just but you don't think in pictures though so how would you think in writing okay okay well what are you what are you talking about when you're saying thinking like so because when i'm thinking it's why can't they just think in in words try to try to think what do you mean think in words try to think of words without saying your word so you could still think of it but it's internal dialogue from me to me. So their brain's just wired entirely different.

Has to be, right? It's not. Yeah. I mean, it has to be. Yeah. But it's like conceptual rather than like language-based. It's crazy. Fuck.

That one was heavy. Yeah. What would be the coolest animal to scale up to the size of a horse the coolest or just the fucking weirdest whatever you think would be also what would be the scariest the scariest would be any fucker bug

any fucking bug oh a spider fuck off I'm out yeah 100% that's horrifying imagine a scorpion the size of a horse Any fucker bug. Spider. Any fucking bug. Oh, a spider? Fuck off, I'm out. Yeah, 100%. That's horrifying. Or imagine a scorpion the size of a horse. You know what would be kind of funny is a snake because they'd be relatively short. It'd just be like a chode.

Well, then... Like it'd just be as thick as a horse, but it'd still be on the ground. It's just like a refrigerator sliding across. It's like six feet you can barely that would be serious would be a spider by far absolutely funnest a chicken that would be fucking terrifying could you imagine we were just riding around i'm fucking low-key like a gerbil would be fucking lit to see that that's a pig dude oh yeah that would go ape shit dude i can

get behind that i can get behind that yeah for sure that's fucking lit Can you pig, dude? Oh, yeah. Can you pig? That would go ape shit, dude. I can get behind that. I can get behind that. Yeah. For sure. That's fucking lit. Wait, what else would be scary as fuck? Any bug. Anything. Anything bug, bro. Ladies and gentlemen,

thank you for listening to episode four of the No Motherfucking FOMO Show. We will be back next week with a very special guest. Actually, three special guests. We're going to be live with Three specials. DJ Susan,

good friend of ours, local San Diego DJ, fucking killing it. And our homies from Canada, Broken Future. It's going to be live with DJ Susan, good friend of ours, local San Diego DJ, fucking killing it. And our homies from Canada, Broken Future. It's going to be a six-way podcast. It's going to be a fucking feature film. We'll see y'all next week. Keep it G.

Keep it G. Keep it G.