NO FOMO - 51. Secondary Dick Traits

Episode Date: July 28, 2023

🔔 Subscribe & Follow: ⁠https://linktr.ee/nofomopod⁠ 🎽 Merch: ⁠https://www.bonfire.com/store/no-fomo/⁠ Welcome Back Fomosapiens. This week we talk Relocating Tits, Secondary Dick Traits, and Airplane Game. Let's Evolve Together, NO FOMO. Support the Podcast: Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code NOFOMO at MANSCAPED.com!

Ladies and gentlemen welcome back, back, back to the Monster Chicken FOMO Show. No FOMO. Alright. Live from San Diego, California. It's No FOMO. There he is. Ba-da-da-da. Ba-da-da-da.

Ba-da-da-da. Dude, absolutely suck it, dude. Special late night dish. It is 10.52pm. We do it for the culture. We gotta get it in before Friday. We do it for the fucking culture. We have deadlines and we fucking... We literally... We run right up to them. Yeah. we do for the culture we got to get in before I do it for the fucking cold we have deadlines then we fucking we literally we run right up to him yeah

and hang out in the back of my mind I was like Morgan's asleep I'm kind of tired do I even wake him up I was like we got to do this dude I woke up lost I've never seen you or anyone for that matter so lost in my entire bloodshot I've ever seen in my life. I looked at myself in the mirror, I was like, what is this? My eyes are bloodshot red. I was asleep for like 12 minutes, 12 and a half minutes.

I thought you like caught a disease in like the 30 minutes. That was horrifying. It's called a nap. Yeah. That's what a disease you got. So Morgan just woke up, John's fresh off a plane, and I'm fresh as a daisy, baby. Yeah, baby.

Dude, new Jeebus. Just doing push-ups and shit. Dude, he's a different guy, dude. He was staring at the sun. He was like, fuck off, dude. I'll body your shit. I was like, I'm about to put a hole in some walls today. Dude, that's what we...

You hear that, dude? Yeah, I do. I need that. Oh, dude. I could feel the difference when he picked me up from the porch. Yeah. We need him. 7 a.m.

We needed him. 7 a.m.? 7 a.m. Cold shower. Run in me up from the porch. Yeah. We need him. We needed him. 7 a.m.? 7 a.m. Cold shower. Run in the morning. Cold shower. Yeah. Holy shit, dude.

He's more different than you. He might be. I might have to set my different up. Yeah. I'm on the Hubertman morning routine. I'm serious. I'm on the Andrew Hubertman morning routine. Really?

I have it written down. You want to hear it? Let's hear it. Yeah, sure. I swear to God, this is a routine. Yeah, let's go. I adjusted the wake-up time an team. Yeah, let's go. I adjusted the wake up time an hour.

No, only because I literally woke up at noon the day before, so I can't just jump straight into 6.30. So I don't care about the wake up time, not that important. I woke up at 7 today. 7.30. Let's go. 7.35. Watch him not care about this whole list one at a time.

No, no, no. That's the only thing. So, 10 minute walk. I went for a mild jog. Oh, he, watch him one up at the whole way, no, no. That's the only thing. So, 10-minute walk. I went for a mild jog. Oh, he had some one-up at the whole weight. That's huge. You fucking bitch. Got a brekkie sandwich.

I love this. Got a brekkie sandwich. Kind of just walked my way back and then started picking up the pace on the way back. Then, just straight into some electrolyte-enhanced water. So, I had an electrolyte fucking full thing in the fridge ready for me this morning. I bought it last night. Chugged that whole fucker. No caffeine. Look at this guy, dude. Caffeine delay for this morning. I bought it last night. Chugged that whole fucker. Oh.

No caffeine. Look at this guy, dude. Caffeine delay for 90 minutes. For 90 to 120 minutes. Didn't even have any today. Didn't even have any. Wait for Starbucks. Don't eat it.

Fuck off. Keep your money. You just want him to tell him better than you. Keep your money. Yeah, he ruins a pussy. Then 90 minutes of intense work. Oh, okay. So that's when I was telling you.

I dove right into work. Got everything. Literally could have been done for the entire day by 8 o'clock in the morning. 9.30. Okay, I was going to say. I didn't even have 90 minutes of work to do right away. I was planning on doing more shit later. I was like, oh, well, that was all that.

Then exercise. Did some exercise. Did some push-ups. Did some little, what do you call them? Curls. Curl pops? Curls. Yeah, curls. Just a light exercise. It some push-ups. Did some little, what do you call them? Curls. Curls. Yeah, curls. Just a light exercise.

It was probably like 20 minutes tops. Just a little circuit. Yeah, just a light exercise, dude. You already went on a run. Yeah. And then, after that, cold shower. Look how different he is. I can see the energy in his skin.

Look at his smile on his face. He's glowing. I'm glowing. Oh my God. Also, cold face wash. Cold water face wash and exfoliation before bed. What the fuck? Y'all don't know who cold cold water face wash and exfoliation before bed Y'all know who you're talking to

Maybe sex before bed Garrett, huh? We'll get it figured out tonight, right are you sleeping over I might have to yeah He's on a new routine. We're gonna have to make sure you know I gotta make sure Yeah, so I'm feeling immaculate and this is after one of the most heinous benders I've ever had this dude you looked scared or the big shit all on Monday Yeah, I was scared to see you when I walked in yeah I was I was ready to when I got in the uber I was literally like Like holding my phone like checking like I was just like I had nothing in me I was shaking I was freaked out so like that I think I scared myself out of that so now I'm like I need to I need to bounce back that you finally scared yourself I

think I did finally got scared that was like holy fuck like I woke up on a stranger's couch at 2 p.m on a Monday that's like whoa dude not a stranger a friend but I was in an unfamiliar place and they were all like they were like both in their rooms like on like conference calls. And I was like, I need to get this done. They're doing, they're getting back to real life already. One of them,

it was his first day at work in like six months. And I mean, we all stayed up the same amount of time. But the fact that they like got up and had work and I was just like a piece of shit.

I was like, wow, it's time to figure this out. He looked, you know like when you take mushrooms and somebody kind of looks like a little kid kind of Weird way, it's either a little kid or super old so yeah, yeah, no is your arms rooms people look old But if they you look oh yeah, cuz you're like why didn't googly-eyed yeah? That's what you look like but scared like just a little kid. I wasn't like where's my mommy

I'm in the grocery store. Can you know up front? It felt like from the inside yeah, so but you're okay now. I'm making some grocery store. Can you now up front? That's what it felt like from the inside. Yeah, so but you're okay now I'm making some life changes. Oh dude So yeah, that's good. I like you. I like that for you. What about you fucking losers? What do I have to I I gotta say I had my first spiller experience at the airport Explain that spiller. I had a large person spilling over into my Explain that. Spiller. I had a large person spilling over into my seat. Oh, that is not what I meant. I thought it meant like you spill your drink on someone.

No, no, no. I had a spiller. A bigger, heavier set NPC. Is that on the way there or way home? It's actually the one I was just on, on the way back. Oh, you didn't even bring that up in the car. I was saving it for this. Are you proud of a Jack in the Box? Yeah, it's not about Jack in the Box. You smelled like it, Jack in the Box? They've always said like, oh, they should have to buy two seats. I don't, that's why I bought a Jack in the Bucks. You smelled like it. You smelled like Jack in the Bucks? They've always said like,

oh, they should have to buy two seats. I don't think that's what it should be. I think if you get stuck next to that motherfucker, you get a free flight. Yeah. You get refunded. That's nice. That's actually a good solution.

I'd be cool with that. Because I'm not kidding you, this person was, I was probably, if this was my seat, I was probably like right here for the full flight. See, I wouldn't even be phased, so I'd be down for the free seat.

Yeah, right? Like I would just seek it out. I'd be partially down. You'd have people who would go to them and be happy to sit next to them because they're going to get free. I kind of love the shame portion of the buying two seats. Oh no, I love that too, yeah.

They should have to pay for an extra seat and I should get a free one. Yeah. Because they bought it for me. Yes. They haven't made anyone do that, have they? No. I know there's bigger people who have like openly talked about like did they do

that out of courtesy but most yeah well this one did not give a fuck but it's like you're paying first-class money to sit in like the back of the game at that point if you're buying two tickets like or just buy a first-class ticket and when I fucking sat down they tried to have my little air fan pointed at them. I was like yeah fucking right biggie It's like you think you're getting my cold air. Wait is it a do they have to you have to push them to the window, right? Oh, yeah, they were in the window. I was middle. Is that enforced? I think they should be forced to window I don't think there's any enforcement. There's no rules at all. There should be forced. We're letting these free fatties roam, dude Dude, no you should be forced to window. We're letting these free fatties roam, dude. Dude. No, you should be pushed to the window by default.

You should be in the fucking cargo compartment. What the fuck are we talking about? Yeah, you should be in cargo. They should fucking give you some anesthesia. Like the dogs. And throw you under there. You could be right next to the dogs. Yeah.

Yeah. They'll put you next to the storage for all the snacks and shit, though. Yeah, yeah. So you can just fucking snack down. There's a solution. Unlimited snacks, but you're in the luggage compartment for all the snacks and shit though so you can just fucking snack down. There's a solution. I'm limited in snacks but you're in the luggage compartment. That's easy. And they cancelled the fucking drinks on us.

Why? I don't know. They tried to say it was fucking turbulence but that was the smoothest flight I've ever been on in my whole life. Yeah, no they be bullshitting on shorter flights all the time. I swear to God. They're giving us McDonald's ice cream treatment on that shit. Wait, what? Like the McDonald's ice cream machine treatment. Oh, I thought you meant like they made it up and gave you McDonald's ice cream. You can't even get that at McDonald's. Is this Delta or Southwest? Southwest, dude. They're usually on their shit. I don't know. They could be, they could be skimpy sometimes. I've seen them pump out the bevy cart on like a 45 minute flight. Yeah. They're like, we're going to get started right away because we're going to be on our descent in like 30 minutes. I mean, I'm just looking for water. I for anything crazy and some pretzels so true geez that's fair fuck also saw the barbie movie with the moms oh how was that shit uh it's loki almost better than it was a better experience than opi i

almost had i had a feeling it would be i keep hearing that it's actually really it's fucking good um i don't know how to explain without ruining it it's just entertaining it's yeah it's just entertaining it's funny they don't go like super into like without ruining it for you guys. It's just entertaining as fuck. Yeah, it's just entertaining. It's funny. They don't go super into the wokeness of it. I've kind of heard some spoilers. They drop a little wokeness in there at the end and blah, blah, blah. Barbie doesn't need Ken. Yeah, well, that's a big part of it. Well, don't they?

I mean, can we just say? You already saw it and I already kind of know. Don't they go into Ken world and it's all dominated by men? So, no. Isn't that what happened? Not that political? So, they live in Barbie world where they think, where the Barbie people think everything in the real world is perfect for women because Barbie's fixed it, right? Barbie's made women think they can be whatever they want to be, and in the real world, that's how it is.

So they go from the real world, they go from Barbie world to the real world, and Ken follows Barbie, and it's obviously not like that. and Ken follows Barbie, and it's obviously not like that. And that's the funniest part in the whole thing, because in Barbie world, Ken, the only thing that matters is if Barbie, like, acknowledges him. He has no other purpose. But in the real world, like, people are like, hey, what's up, man? And he's just like, he gets so fucking hyped.

He's like, oh, somebody asked me what the time was. And the part, she's like, hey, what time is it? And he's like, you respect me. He's just, like, all hyped. He goes in the bookstore and, like, gets a bunch of stuff on the patriarchy and shit He's just all fired up about like men ruling okay. I keep I was wondering I keep seeing the patriarchy. Yeah, it's so fucking funny He there's one part He's sitting there is like a bunch of male executives are like talking and he's just like watching him talk like all hyped because they're important

I didn't like this girl assistant walks up, and he just hits her with a finger, and he's like yes So it's super woke then anyway, it the funniest thing comedic way right yeah it isn't a comedic way because they definitely shit on dudes but in a funny way too yeah as long as it's funny i'm gonna go see it probably tomorrow it's it was a good time sounds great sounds good yeah my mom loved it she got pinked out for it she got dressed up oh she she paints the shit out of herself for that Comic-con we saw some shit, too. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah here. Did you guys get going down here? Oh you guys didn't go? We were just no, but there was all the creatures. There was just gremlins amongst. Yeah, holy shit Yeah, there was things about that trolls. I saw like I saw like a grandma like clearly like a mom and then like a Smoking hot daughter.

All dressed up in the same outfit, but they were like pretty promiscuous outfits. Oh, for sure. I was wearing it. I was like, fuck. That hentai shit? And you were mostly looking at the grandma? That seems like a fun trio right there. What are you doing?

What were they dressed up as? It's always fun. I don't know. I don't really know any of that shit. Some anime shit? Unless it's like an obvious superhero or like Star Wars, I wouldn't really know anything. And that's not the stuff they ever do. It's like- That's what I'm saying. It's always- I'm Komoki Nori. Like Sailor Moon or like star wars i wouldn't really know and that's not the stuff they ever do it's like that's what i'm saying i'm komoki nori like sailor sailor moon or some shit i don't okay sailor moon i know i don't i know what that is but i wouldn't recognize

it there's porn of that it could have been it could have been that well you know about the so i saw this on tiktok and i perused it for research purposes only um there's a website called rule 34 okay and the premise of the website is if you can think of it there's a website called Rule 34. Okay. And the premise of the website is if you can think of it, there's a porn of it. So if you type in anything on that website, you type in like Johnny Bravo, Johnny Bravo porn pops up.

Like anything you can think of, there's a porn of it. Just R-U-L-3-4? Yeah, Rule 34. R-U-L-E-3-4. Oh, and it's all like the animated stuff? Yeah, it's all cartoons. Anything you can think of, it's there.

And let me tell you, I thought. And it was there. I think this is part of the Huberman nighttime routine. Yeah. It definitely is. That's his rule number 34, that's why. Coming now, the Huberman nighttime routine. Oh, I would love to see the Comic-Con people's fucking porn results.

Throw on some white noise and rule 34. I'm actually gonna dive into that. It's probably real similar. Just fun to look at. It looks better. What? I'm actually gonna dive into that it's probably real similar just fun to look at it looks better what remember when we watched the uh a couple hours of the super high def one are you talking about comic-con or the porn wait what are you talking about the high def the super high def one the super high def like uh cartoon porn yeah the one I showed you yeah that one class

no no those are good dude I don't I mean I'm being fully candid here I don't know how I stumbled across it, but it was fucking well. It was probably in the top Why was it what was it a Batman was Harley Quinn? Fuck my back It was gnarly wild it was like the most like 4k HD Animated thing I've ever seen like better than a video game better than it was basically like a video game like intro movie you know Like yeah, when you're watching like a trailer the trailer always looks like wait. It looked like that yeah, but anyways it was really good No yeah, I saw that I'm sorry

Former night yeah, I was on tourmer night. Yeah, yeah, yeah, shut out the guy that sent it. Do you see the pic? Yeah, our told your yeah, I told you his name shout him sent it. Do you see the pic? Yeah. Our twoldger. Yeah, our twoldger. What was his name? Shout him out. It's like Steven something. Steven. God, dude. When are you going to start writing down names?

Did you write down names for the questions this time? Oh, fuck. I don't have the names on them. You're so trash. But I have them all. Oh, my God. I have all. I was doing a lot of work, dude.

Well, shout out our soldier. Newest member of the twarmy. Our soldier? A picture of him in our newest drop, the Twelment. The Twelment? The Twarmaments? It's the Twisted Tea box as a helmet. That's pretty lit.

If you guys haven't seen the pictures. Oh, speaking of Twisted Tea, somebody tagged us in a video. They launched an 8% Twisted Tea. Oh, we're so fucked. Oh, my God. Someone else also sent me. They make Twisted Tea like straight up we're so fucked. Oh my god. Someone else also sent me they make twisted tea like straight-up whiskey Really like whiskey. It's a

I'm not even kidding. It's twisted tea branded like whiskey. So it's like infused It's already like a pre-made cocktail. You don't have to explain. I get it. It sounds It sounds dangerous. I like that. We definitely need the sponsorship. We need the yeah starting now You said you heard you heard an ad for twist. Yeah, they do they do ad reads I heard another I bet the fuck they do and they need us yeah, yeah, we would we have told yours Yeah, we've been promoting them without a single fucking dollar. Yeah, I'll just send them a picture of who had it on you There's no the picture of all of us to armed out. Well. Yeah, send them send them. Oh yeah album Here's the twarmer

fit with our twarming yeah we have fans that wear twarmer and then I have a fucking head to toe blasted fit yeah he's oh yeah he's got the full yeah that's what I'm saying yeah we're getting all right that'll be easy send him this fucking clip twisted get fucked yeah but um we're gonna have to dive into the

the extracurricular tweet uh catalog apparently yeah no that sounds like a good time 8% dude make them 10 or 12 they already go But we're going to have to dive into the extracurricular twee catalog, apparently. Yeah, no, that sounds like a good time. 8%? Dude, make them 10 or 12. They already go down like water. Make them 10 or 12. Yeah, if they taste the same and they're 8%, that's going to be fucked.

And they're gonna. They're gonna. They're probably going to taste better because they might have a little kick to them. Oh, they maybe have a little alcohol to them. They actually taste like alcohol. They might be a little alcoholic. Like 5% is some bitch shit, if you think about it. It really is. 5%?

Yeah, but when you drink 20, you're good. That's one whole alcohol. Basically what they're saying is you're gonna have to just buy less and... They're trying to save us money at that point. It'll be more expensive. No, I agree with this route, but I think we could do 10 or 12 maybe. Oh, easy. Well, they have the whiskey.

It's probably 40% we're good. Yeah, we need to get that. The Twisky. The Twisky. Yeah, we're going to get Twisky. But just make a 35%- Twisky with a twee chaser? Oh, my God.

Like, how bad could a 35% beer taste? You know? Oh, bad. Really fucking bad. You've never had any of that shit? You've never had like a 12% beer? It's terrible. Dude, if you have like an 18%, that tastes like you're drinking like bourbon,

but beer. It's very strong. Ah, shit. It's noticeably gnarly. Okay. Okay, fuck that. Because some hard alcohol is only like 20%. Liqueur, you know?

Yeah. Liqueur? Liqueur. But I don't know how we want to kind of go in what order, but aliens are fucking real. So we just had to get that out there before we forget. Dude, did I tell you last time we don't care or do we not care?

I don't know, dude. This time I feel like we care a little more. I still don't. What do you mean you don't care, man? Okay, last time when they said they were real and that this might be a thing, now they're saying it is again. This was like a congressional hearing with people saying...

Still, I just don't care. But not only are they real, they confirmed that there was something that wasn't human flying a craft and they have it let me see it and let me see how high I agree Yeah, but like I'm telling you were was it male or female is it hot? I'm telling you were a dick like we could know It's hot. It's not one of these days. It could be literally tomorrow for all we know at this point Like you're gonna see the picture. Are you gonna be excited? Are you gonna? Oh, I actually don't know Like you're gonna see the picture are you gonna be excited are you gonna? Oh, I actually don't know such bullshit John Cuz okay, they show tomorrow's a big show me a picture like a green arm or something cuz it's probably not like a full body Right, I mean, I can't just be a picture. They cannot show pull up with a picture. Okay. Have me like yeah

We're good. That's what I'm saying. So what are they gonna? Okay a video Imagine it you think you're gonna see a video of like a green like they'd have to bring honestly bring it in They'd have to bring it in for me to on what? In what scenario like into the middle of a stadium of people watching it well just think about it this way the avatar movie looks Real that's what I'm saying. Yeah, so they'd have to bring it into court for me to be like okay. It's it There's I don't think it would take I just see it in person be. If they whipped out some fucking, an album of photographs in the congressional hearing, like, yo, this is what we have.

Dude, if they said it was real and it looked really real, I could get behind it, you know? I just want, I think I need to like hear from it. Like Joe Biden's like, I mean, whoever's president just literally, okay, for your sake, Donald Trump does a PowerPoint. We have these motherfuckers locked in a cage somewhere. PowerPoint? Presentation on aliens?

That's what I'm saying. Well, that's what it would take for his dumbass to buy in. Well, I just love that the presentation tool is PowerPoint. He just sits there like, next. If it's Trump, yeah, that's what we're doing. But I have so many... The reason why I still don't believe it is... The amount of distance that they'd have to come from to get here

would mean they're so advanced, they would just take that shit back. Does that make sense? No. Not if they crash. Not if they crash. If they crash, if anyone could get here, they're very advanced. They're taking it back. Okay, from us in the 70s?

We don't know. Question for you here. And this made me think of this interstellar thing I thought about. You know how they go down to the one planet, and it's like fucking 40 years when they come back, right? Is there a chance that that's what it's like for them? Yeah. Like what if they come like you know how when they're just we get a video of them zipping around for an hour and then they go back and then it's like it takes them like like here it's like

an hour but then they go there and it's like 50 like maybe it's like a thousand years on their planet. Because also maybe their like lifespans are crazy different on their planet so they like like they came here they found us and they're like oh shit we got them they go back maybe they're like lifespans are crazy different on their planet so they like like they came here they found us and they're like oh shit we got them they go back and they're like reporting on it and then by the time they come back after that it's been like fucking three thousand years it could be oh but for them on for them it was like five thousand is that shit Jay that's something that you say oh I mean yeah what if it's only been a minute you said I've been here you did not just invent the theory of...

No, I know, I know, yeah. That's been around for a long time. No, but the way you said it sounded a lot better. Yeah. No, I liked the way you broke it down. That sounded really good. That was better than Einstein's put it together. Like, they were probably just here one time, and they left for a minute, and it's just

been 50 years or whatever. They're about to be back. Yeah, they're about to be back, and it's just been taken... No, they know that, though. Yeah. But I'm saying, like. No, they know that, though. Yeah. But I'm saying, like, okay. But they wouldn't care. They wouldn't, like, try to fix it for us.

Even if they had the advanced technology. Like, if they fucking crash or we shot them down, like, the technology's not going to work. No, they'd send another motherfucker. If you could get here. But what if it takes that long? Yeah, what if to them they're waiting, like, 10 minutes for them to come back?

Because what if the one in, like, the 1940s Roswell or whatever was literally the last time they came and we caught that fool and they sent these people almost 100 years later to come get them back and then we just got them again. They're like, fuck. You're right. And then they're going to come back with the whole gang and fuck our shit up. That would be lit. Like in the next 50 years, we're getting that.

Please, please, please, please, please. I would fully accept getting demolished by aliens. I'm okay with that. I was watching The Meg last night for a little bit. Dude, The Meg goes stupid. Speaking of Meg, Shark Week. Yeah. No, that's why I was watching it.

It was on HBO Max because HBO owns Discovery now or whatever. So it was like all the Shark Week shit. And then it's like movies you might like. The Meg. I was like, absolutely would love it. And first of all, when I had the lights off in my room, I just had the TV at the foot of my bed. It looks like the shark's in my room.

You got some 3D action going? When it's pitch black in there, and all I can see is the... It's like dark water, and the shark comes out of nowhere. Oh, you did a little jump? I jumped a little bit. But anyway, that movie fucks.

So Jason Momoa's fucking... The host. He's the host or whatever. Some of the most cringe shit I've ever seen on there. But if you have a minute, watch Air Jaws.'s in meg air jaws always bangs no momoa is the host of shark week oh i thought you said so i want he is the meg yeah i watched air jaws holy fuck i couldn't believe this was real but like air bud they have air jaws every year it's a recurring recurring yeah it's terrible what is this year we didn't rip air jaws it's about catching

a shark jumping out of the water oh when they do the look they drag the little seal yeah it's terrible. Oh, this year it didn't rip? Air Jaws, it's about catching a shark jumping out of the water. Oh, when they do the little, they drag the little seal. It's some funny shit. Did I not get a good one? This was like the last season of Air Jaws, so they were like trying to find the last one, you know? Oh, okay. It was just really bad.

Well, I mean, it was cool. So they hyped it up a little too hard for you? Shark Week was a big deal when we were in like middle school and high school. Because you come home every day and you you got something you're locked in you know I don't know if I ever did that but. Shark Week, I was never that hyped off it But it would they did when you didn't know I feel like I know too much about sharks now That's what I'm saying. It was cool. Like when I didn't know yeah, like I was like Air Jaws They've been doing that same show for like ten years. But the first time you saw like that big-ass great white jump like 12 feet out of the water

You're like damn. That's never going in the ocean again but they are pretty kind of chilling down there at some points though yeah yeah like they don't really like us they they're looking for the seals the reason i brought no they're not trying to eat us we don't taste good yeah i brought up the meg for a specific reason we got a hell of sidetrack but it was good yeah no but you know you know in the very first scene pretty much when they go in that layer underneath the Mariana Trench? What if that's where the aliens are coming from? They're actually on Earth somewhere. No, I'm with that, too.

I've been thinking that for a while. So now you're getting into Scientology. They're in the volcanoes. No, but the guy... Who says they can't be? What do we know? I was watching a breakdown of the... I don't.

I was watching a breakdown of the recap of the hearing, and the guy who keeps saying it, he refuses to say aliens or like extraterrestrials he just says like non-human because like could be from earth we don't know could be yeah they're just under the surface or like lizard people deep in the cuts in antarctica you never know what do we know at this there's no reason to believe anything if we know that there's something out there you know nothing there's no reason to believe anything if we know that there's something no there's We know nothing. There's no reason to believe anything if we know that there's something? No, there's no reason to think that we could know anything about it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Alien-wise, yes. I thought you were just saying in general. Yeah. Oh, no, we know a couple things. You're John, this is Garrett. If that's on the table, we know nothing about it. Yeah. Yeah, and we've been lied to about fucking everything.

Which I'm down with. For 80 years, 100 years. We don't know how long. Fuck them all. You know what I mean? But anyways... So we started Discord. Oh, yeah. We're't know how long. Fuck them all. You know what I mean? But anyways. So we started Discord. We're going to jump into that.

So we got the Discord for fan submissions. I forget the... Oh, it's in our bio. It's in our bio on Instagram. I'm smart, dude. We post about it frequently so you guys can just click the link, join the Discord. That's where we'll be taking questions for the show. Maybe we'll have some fun nights where we'll get on there and just chat you know go live well once we get

twee sponsors and shit we'll be giving away we'll be doing some fun stuff for discord discord yeah we call them followers discord discord friends it's just discord army the fomo sapiens yeah the fomo yeah just for our dogs so hop on there if you want to you want to have your questions you're still taking the dms but we're gonna we're going to be happy to be calling for each other. Ladies, Discord is a chat service. You have to download it. Yeah, you don't know what Discord is. It's what fucking nerds used to play video games with each other on for the most part.

It's pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's good stuff. Oh, if you're fucking in LA, dude, we got a show this weekend. Yes, this will be out tomorrow. So on Saturday night, we'll be at Academy in Hollywood. Come check it out. Gang.

Now back to the show. Now back to the show. I was going to talk about the Bronny James stuff, but then I'm just going to get all political and stuff. It's not worth it. Yeah. Yeah, we don't need to do that. We just don't know.

We don't know, first of all. But how horrifying and sad. But I'm glad he's okay. Is he all right? He's fine. I never followed up. He is fine, but that was pretty scary. Of course you would have that.

Well, I wasn't even going to do it. All right, ladies and gents, we're going to take a quick break from the show. It's time to unleash the beach beast within you this summer. Why'd you start over? Manscaped is here to help you live off your beach game with their new Beard Hedger Pro Kit. Oh, yeah.

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that code no fomo at checkout for free shipping boom oh shit boom motherfucker boom get fucked now back to the show but have you guys seen the trend where guys are shampooing and conditioning their ass hair? Have you guys seen the trend where a bunch of young kids are having heart attacks? So the COVID vaccine. So if you look at since 2020. 2020. So, Moderna. No. Stop it. Okay, go. Okay, so this is on TikTok. There's a trend where guys are shampooing and conditioning their ass hair,

and it makes your wipes cleaner after your shit. I can see that, because I got some coarse ass shit going on down there. Are you guys on buzz? Dude, I tried to shave one time. No, don't shave. No, I tried to clean it up one time I just don't have the control the razor no with a manscape okay yeah but I just don't have the control to not get too close on certain swipes so I did it one

time and I was I couldn't sit normally for like a full you got a squat over a mirror well what are we here for dude oh you squat over a mirror no I mean that's one way that's what do you do? Huh? What do you do? I just keep that stuff fresh. Well, yeah, why don't I just have one of my dogs absolutely fucking dice me up between the cheeks? Have your dog clean your dog. Yeah.

Dogs cleaning dogs. I actually might need it. At least you just showed me how to use the mirror. Worst case, one of my dogs. Yeah. Get it in there. But that's why it's so easy for girls all the time, because they don't really have ass hair, dude.

Yeah, how lucky. Yeah. How is that so? I think they do no they they fucking get it waxed yeah i might need some laser back there laser i think laser dude i think i need it works we got a laser down like it's bad dude if i had a nicely lasered bubble wait what sorry with with this thing they're shampooing and you shampoo and condition your ass hair i've been you don't do that

No, oh yeah, when I like when I'm when I'm just whatever is left on the hands like after I'm done with the hair I'll shit. I'll fucking I'll get the pubes. I'll get the ass really yeah I'll throw I mean I wash my ass like with with soap hopefully yeah But I've I've never thought to like condition yeah shit. Oh yeah, dude. I only shampoo I don't condition. Of course. Because you're not supposed to do it like multiple times a week or whatever. Well, yeah. It's just when I do my hair. That's not true.

Yeah, it is. You're not supposed to shampoo multiple times a week. Yeah, shampoo is the bad one. Shampoo is the bad one. Oh, shit. Because it removes all the oils from your hair. Oh, shit. I don't do either.

You can condition as much as you want, but you really only need to do it a couple times a week. That's good to know. I just saw another thing. We're getting just on tangency but you should some dermatologist all said oh you're always supposed to shower once a week like oh shut the fuck up oh and sunscreen is bad for you sunscreen's been bad i told you about sunscreen i don't wear sunscreen sunscreen's bad for you what not worse than fucking singeing your skin off no no but there's no worry about this either way bud i mean if i if i go in the sun i need i have to wear sunscreen dog not anymore it's bad for you

okay well i'm yeah no what it's uh zinc is what you're supposed to use or something zinc is usually like in sunscreen though i know but there's like pure just that just like i looked at a thing of like the most healthy and like the worst ones of sunscreen like the best sunscreen for you Is actually like the Rite Aid brand like? One that is just the regular spray Everything else like the Neutrogena all that stuff has got like fucking 20 things that cause really I've been using the Neutrogena shit for like 10 years Give Hawks. I'm fucked. Yeah hasn't met. I think you're good. I

Don't I don't look good. Maybe that's what's wrong I'm on the Huberman strat now. So yeah, yeah, yeah, you're hubered out cold showers You're good. You only need like fucking ten minutes. You don't need sunscreen cold show you are supposed to Sun your ass and balls though Any perennial sunning? Yeah, I've heard yeah, is that real that has to be good? It's supposed to increase your testosterone like 50% really I need to start doing That yeah, you guys have to do that in your house. Have you been asking morning glories, dude? I need more sun on my butthole Dude, I just the tannis part of my body guaranteed. Oh

It is not even I got a transplant from a darker fella oh dude yeah your your ass hair is from another human or multiple I got a transplant yeah you were born with multiple they must have just been like they I was just like a naked mole right when I came out they're like oh quick we got to give him some hair just put it like in my ass crack thinking it would spread to my body it just stayed grab the hairy mole rat jeans they put some on my head and in my ass crack thinking it would spread to the rest of my body. It just stayed there. Grab the hairy mole rat jeans and put them on the naked mole rat. They put some on my head and in my ass crack and let it go.

Now you're safe. As fuck. You would not really if you saw my ass crack. You would never guess that it's from me. Are we night time guys? We're midnight guys. I feel like we got a lot of energy late night.

It's kind of crazy with her in the midnight. Oh What do we want to get into I think we're just gonna rip fan submissions ready for the room? Yeah, I got I got one we had some fun. I got one good question for Okay, can you put sunscreen on your asshole if you're sending no you don't do that that's bad What do you think is the most important secondary dick trait? So number one is size is it number two. What do you think this most like if you're a chick you're like it's perfect size But it also needs scent

I'm thinking shape Yeah, it has to be a good good curvature like two if it's a right fucking turn yeah i mean just through the years not like i've been mentally collecting like an album or anything but i've seen some weird shit no it's the coloring color it's the color is a big one if you have like a gray pale red rocket yeah i feel like color only if it's extremely off color yeah like it's like pale brown or gray dick a pale dick yeah if you have a pale dick i'm out yeah yeah like i'm pasty but i have a nice like i've got a tan dick i wish the color of my body was the color of my car but then it would look pale i don't know no that's why i got the wrinklage and the color of my body was the color of my cock. But then it would look pale. I don't know.

No, that's why I got to stay white. The wrinklage and the spacing of them. Some people have like weird wrinklage on them. I think I'm going on hard here. Yeah. No, some people have weird wrinklage when they're hard. Do you mean like circumcise? No, no, no, no, no, no. Like they, like.

Which probably that's one. Huh? Circumcision. That's a good one. Oh, yeah. That's definitely one. What is, we need a girl on the show again. Well, I mean, I feel like they're fun guests, first of all.

Ladies, we're taking requests for guests. Haven't they only been girls? We've had one guy. Two dudes. Two guys. Have we? We had Daniel and we had Dr. Fresh. Daniel from...

Oh, and Henry Fong. Oh, and Henry Fong. We had three dudes. Yeah, that's my bad. A lot of me. The last two were girls. It would be nice to hear what we had three dudes. Yeah, that's my bad a lot of me A lot of me the last two were girls It would be nice to hear what their thoughts are on this subject, but this would be a fun Okay, cuz like in a hypothetical it's like all these dicks are the same size. They're the perfect size, right?

Yeah, whatever which is whatever your perfect size for the girl, right? Whatever you think of when you think of the perfect size Then which is what then this one's this one's Like a right angle this one's like a right angle. This one's got the most veins. Now let me think dick. Hold on. Not the fingers to the foot.

Let me get dicked out real quick. Not the fingers to the temple. Let my mind get dicked out. Let my mind get absolutely dicked out right now. Let me get that dick in my mind. Let me get that dick in my mind let me get that dick in me on the brain think of a nice good cock that's all you know a nice one yeah um i feel like i have a pretty pleasant penis yeah you have a proper penis i think it's pleasant yeah um circumcision i'm i'm i've never really gotten a straight answer on this one i feel like that's too easy because

that is i feel like i feel like if's too easy I feel like if they get stuck with one they're going to be like sure I don't mind it but I don't think they prefer it they don't prefer the skin on it? yeah I think color might be it I think it's color dude they like it better with it on it?

no they like it better when you're circumcised so I'm saying if they got stuck with an uncircumcised they'd be like okay but they better when you're circumcised yeah that's what i'm saying yeah so i'm saying if they got stuck with an uncircumcised they'd be like okay but they prefer to be certain yeah because then it's like a weird little snail thing it's fucking gross thank god they do that sorry our uncircumcised fans but is it too late to get it done post i think i think an adult one would be a little frightening i mean you could get your dick cut off and get a vagina installed i think you can get an adult one would be a little frightening. I mean, you could get your dick cut off and get a vagina installed.

I think you can get an adult circumcision. Oh, you could get one. I'm just saying, like, the danger of it is, like, when you're a little kid, obviously, you get circumcised, like, you're not popping a boner at any time. Like, you can't, you probably couldn't go outside until it's healed up. Like, you couldn't look at boobs. You couldn't watch commercials, TV, anything.

That's in that comedy show. That's so fair. It never healed. Yeah Like you couldn't look at boobs. You couldn't watch commercials, TV, anything. That's so fair. It never healed. You have to live in a black box. Yeah, that's crazy. Even if you fall asleep. You're sitting on the bus with an old lady's tits jiggling. You're just, oh, jeez. But let's break down this answer.

Okay, so top five definitely is smell in there. It has to be smell. That's almost too easy too, though. That's also fixable. I said that one kind of as a funny thing. Dude, it really might be color, dude. I think color or shape. Can we FaceTime Macy right now?

No, because we have to use the phone. Fuck our phones. That'd be so fun. I have a good hog, dude. You wouldn't get any info. No, I'm not asking about yours. I'm asking about her honest Oh, you think we need to info on yours? Oh, yeah, you see like I haven't come on. That's it. What see that

Been around it Vicinity shared a shared of breath with like hair matters to a certain degree not hairiness Yeah, that's things you can control that is control like if it smells it smells, go wash it. If you have hair, go shave it. We're talking about the intangibles here. Yeah, this is what you're born with. Maybe it's Maybelline. No. I feel, okay.

See, a lot of them matter if you don't have them at all. Like if you don't, if it's not venous at all, then it's an issue. I feel like it'd be kind of lit to have a smooth boy. Just an absolute pipe. Like a literal just PVC pipe down there would go Every Steven's thank you. Yeah, dude, like maybe not even a little lip at the top of the head

It's just completely smooth and rounded. Oh a nice head lip Yeah, the lip the mushroom shape if it's too aggressive and a gradual mushroom No, you want a nice ridge on that top. No, a nice one. I'm saying, what if it's got a fucking half pipe coming off? Oh, like a top lounge? Like way too big. Yeah.

Like you get stuck in that. Like one of those beetles with the horns. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Or like Tony Hawk's. I feel like a nice mushroom is huge. So you think, in terms of color, what would be worse? Too light or too dark?

I think red rocket is like one side, like a new alien red. Like a very dark red. Like a fresh born alien red. Yeah. Or like a pale bratwurst. That's what I'm talking about. I feel like this's almost like a triangular

sort of spectrum. You've got white, you have super dark, and then you have colors up here. It could be red. Oh yeah, there's a spectrum. It's an absolute spectrum. I'm talking about the liveliness looking of the dick. You know how in the Holocaust they had white blood on their cheeks to make it look lively?

What's the one with the crab? I did not know that. What's the Krabby Patty one where it looks all like dead and gross? Oh, the gray one. I forget. Yeah, the gross patty? Yeah.

It's kind of like that kind of a dick. I don't even know that. Yeah. Like a lifeless zombie cock. Yeah, that's what we don't want. What's the gray Krabby Patty? Yeah, the gray. Yeah, someone got fucked up with

the recipe or something and they were like shitty for a while i think what is the gray crabby patty here it is right here then they have colorful ones and the nasty patty oh the nasty patty otherwise known as john's groinwise known as the grundle. The grundle. That's one of my favorite words. That's underutilized for sure. It's got to be color. There's just so many things. Color hits for me. I'm really trying to think.

Let us know. Yeah, let us know. Let us know what you think. That was a good question. That was good. Thought-provoking for sure. I knew I had one there. I'm trying to think if I have any more cock-related content here.

We definitely do. Oh, I've got another good one this one might be quick though hey I'm not complaining hey let me know would you rather have sex again for the first time or go to hibachi grill for the first time again hibachi sex for the first time was not great. The actual experience wasn't, but you like... I mean, it was lit getting it out of the way almost. Yeah. It was almost just like,

oh, thank God I got it. It was lit, yeah. But it was not... Okay. It didn't go great. Would you rather have the best sex of your life again for the first time

or go to Hibachi Grill for the first time? Like the best I've had Dude, Hibachi Grill bangs the first time. I'm just saying, imagine the first time you saw that volcano no i'm going right off bangs and my mom has fucking shrimp all over her face

just fucking blasting sake i mean sex is cool every time yeah hibachi it's it's like there's a scale yeah it's downward and the first time is way too diminishing returns the first time that fucker flipped the shrimp into my mouth. Are you kidding? I thought that was Jesus. That guy was different, brother. Fuck, we gotta get ourselves a hibachi grill. Dude, we need to go back to hibachi. Just imagine if you could delete that from your brain and go back and you're just sitting

there. He does the heartbeat on the fucking- You weren't even familiar with the concept. You're just like, what's that? Yeah, no one even explains to you, like, oh, we're going to hibachi grill. And you're like- Walk in, sit down, super casual, set up the sauces, you know? Yeah, give me severance for hibachi, dude Then fucking Jackie Chan walks in and your whole shit every time the fuck dude. I would be hyped that was an easy question

Yeah, that was yeah Sex is lame and wait am I read really quick. You're so red. Okay um Let's see here all right fan subs Well oh wait. Oh wait. Should we fire away? It's firing time! Nuclear missile inbound. Morgan Bungis, we have a nuclear missile for you from one of our fans. This is a fan sub. And I've got the app for him

because I'm that kind of guy. This is a fan sub. This is from at Lucian Murray. He sent in today Morgan is a bitch Lucian Murray. He sent in today, Morgan is a bitch, by the way. Everyone on the USS Iowa agrees he's a cuck. And let me tell you something about the USS Iowa. It is the newest nuclear missile sub in the US fleet. It holds 150 enlisted men and 15 officers, all thinking you're a cuck.

We got 140? It's a length of 377 feet with a beam of 34 feet a draft of 32 feet it displaces 7 800 tons of water and can go up to 25 knots it can stand or water for three months so if they went underwater right now and didn't come up for three months they'd come up still thinking you're a cuck wait why am i a cuck? I don't know. He just said it. He said everyone on the USS Iowa agrees you are a cuck. Cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck. Shout out to the USS Iowa. Hoorah. Hoorah, motherfucker.

Thank you for your service. These are my boys. Those are my brothers. I fuck with Iowa. I fuck with submarines. I fuck with the military so hard. Lucien Murray, you are the man. You fuck harder than anybody I know. That was the best fucking fans have we ever got what did i do to this the semen

a whole fucking submarine of men think did we talk shit about semen you probably you've it's just your vibe okay dude first of all you think you had to overtly do this it's your vibe you think you like jabbed at the semen it's not like it's not like he like he just said like my cock I'm giving off everyone just came to the same conclusion. He didn't convince anyone. Okay, I at least I get behind that logic Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess you just give off cock energy and this was unprompted This is fucking I have the photo of the DMC. No, this is a burner account. You guys are tricky though. No, no See this is such a cuck thing to do Yes

My butt hurts hella better. Yeah, you just got fucking Yeah, what else you got for the fans? Thank you to Lucien and the entire crew, officers and all, all the way down to the fucking swabbing the deck boys for giving us this moment.

Let us come tour the sub, dude. We'll come do a live show. Yeah, dude. I will fucking under the sea. A sub show? We won't bring Morgan. A sub show

with just the boys? At least you know the army rips coke, though. What else will they be listening? It's a Navy. You're such a cunt rips coke, though. What else would they be listening to? It's a navy. You're such a cunt. This guy can't stop cucking up. They're in the army.

They're in the military. No, that's not the same thing. It's blanket term is army. They can't call the whole thing. No, it's not. You're about to piss them off so hard. I hope they don't go. They're about to piss them off.

Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. There's at least three, if not four branches of the military. There's the Army, there's the Navy. The Air Force, I think, is a division of the Navy. The Marines is a division of the Navy. So I think there might- There's only- No, I think-

At least two major ones. But the Army and Navy, you don't just say one's and the other. That's blasphemy. Boo, you suck, boo. You're whack. There's fights. This submarine looks sick as fuck too all these guys on here i can't wait to go thanks for the good work boys can't wait to go on it and have

a morgan cuck fest dude make morg fucking sit on the top while we go under while we go make him hold on with some water when we go under that was good all right we were how the fuck did you see that and i didn't see that oh i i don't know it was the biggest like stroke of luck the timing He's like I hope Morgan didn't see this yet in screenshot and sent it to me. I was like oh No, I saved oh yeah, yeah, I just knew if it was already clicked you probably wouldn't see it. Oh, yeah That's good. I'm glad you got to have that moment I'm gonna have to worry my whole life about why they thought that Lucian let us know why

they came to the conclusion. This is fake news. This is conspiracy. This is Biden on his burner. This is Biden's burner. Lucian.Murray, that's my boy. This is Biden's burner. A twarmer.

A twarmy boy. Tweed general. All right. What else we got from those subbers, dude? What's the most American sex position? The most American sex position. Reverse cowgirl, bro. Yeah, it's got to have cowgirl in it.

Yeah, it does. I mean, that's just the best one. That sounds like we came up with it. Missionary also sounds kind of, we did it. No, missionary sounds like what a priest does to a little missionary boy. Oh, that's true. No, we came up with that. We kind of came up with that. That's from the back. Huh?

We kind of came up with that. Missionary, you think Americans came up with missionary? I think the first people to ever have sex came up with missionary. I feel like just going to, what do you think the first ever fucking session they were doing? I think it was missionary. Doggy style? I'd like to think it was missionary.

That'd be legendary. Eve's just bent over picking up an apple, and he's like, fuck. Throw it back mama that would be pretty good I told you not to eat it bitch that was dark I think it's reverse cowgirl though

the most American the most American yeah yeah cause it not only doesn't have an American name like cowgirl but it's the best one it's got the twist on it too it's also the best one

it's got a twist which is American that is pretty American right Morgan I thought I was gonna get Morgan with that it's the best one which means it's American right Morgan yeah

yeah we are the best dude which means American right yeah, yeah About to not be though really quickly oh See there's a cuckness again. He's old cut cut cut cut no. I'm not folding It's just we're headed in a fucking bad direction how I said this a million times you know I mean we're still the best, but we're not looking great Like a fucking flower, dude. What? Lucian, you fucked our dog up.

Lucian, you're a true and absolute- a bitimus bag. He's saying we're not about to- he's like, our navy's in shambles. I thought we had the world's best navy now anymore. Turns out our military's trash. I didn't know that the army wasn't a blanket term. I didn't know we had guys in nuclear subs fucking thinking I'm a cock.

They're in a nuclear sub? Yeah, it's the newest one. It just got christened on the 17th. Who gets rethinking this whole country? June 17th is when it got christened. They just got on it, and they already came to this conclusion as a whole boat. Yep. Dude, if that is huge facts, that is...

You can look it up on our shit. Can I Google search that? I've got it pulled up right now the USS Iowa I'm saying get the part about me. Oh You being a cuss a DM bro. Yes, tell them to make a Wikipedia page put on there. That's actually good idea You guys should push to do that join the discord start the chat. Yeah Okay, what else we got? Americans the most American sex position is whatever Lucian does yeah okay whatever more watches more sitting with his hands folded on a fucking recliner watching his girl get napped up, dude. That's American as shit, dude.

Out of pocket. All right, all right. Okay, okay. If you could only eat fast food, what would your week look like? Oh. Ooh. Well, we have to agree how we're gonna break this down.

Yeah, what is it? Realistically, he looks like me in bed the whole time. Are you talking like, what does my meal plan look like? Yeah, like a week. You have a week. Okay, can we define fast food as like it's only drive-thru places?

No Chipotle. It's got to be like fast. No, no, it could be Chipotle. It's just like you can't. No, because that's a cop-out. It can't be servers, I think is the thing. I think that's... That's not what fast food is.

I'm talking, it's got to be shit- Is it not? I'm thinking drive- It has to have drive-thru. It has to have drive-thru capabilities. Okay. Breakfast, star shit. Is it not? I'm thinking drive. It has to have drive-thru. It has to have drive-thru capabilities. Okay. Breakfast. Starb.

Does that count? Yeah. Drive-thru starb. It's pretty fast food-y. Yeah. I mean, they microwave it. But I kind of want to go just really dark on this. Oh, I mean, I'd love to go dark.

How would you try? It's kind of a challenge because you want to kind of try to feel nice. Okay. Okay. So, yeah. I mean, starb's breakfast sandwich. That feels cheap, though. I get that on a normal day. That's a bad day start? Okay. Okay. So yeah, I mean, Starbucks breakfast sandwich. That feels cheap though. I get that on a normal day.

That's a bad day start for me. Yeah, that's not gonna go well. That doesn't that feel good. That's how I started today. I had a great day. That's how I started. That was the first day of the Huberman. With a fucking sausage hitter.

No, I would go bacon egg and gouda, dude. I'm trying to think of what other breakfast. I've always wanted to try the breakfast crunch wrap. I don't really eat breakfast. Don't get McDonald's breakfast regularly. Why are you skipping this?

I do on occasion, but I know that that is horrible. I will feel real bad. Okay, so Monday? No, yeah, we're not doing that on Monday. Yeah, maybe Saturday, Sunday I could get into a little... Okay.

I might start intermittent fasting if I had to do this. Let's skip breakfast. I don't really eat breakfast as it is. Let's just skip breakfast. I'd get a coffee from somewhere. Yeah. Maybe a smoothie. Lunch.

You know, what's a safe lunch where you're not fucking done? Can you drive through Canes? Yes, you can. Absolutely. Can you? Yeah. Oh, then raising Canes every fucking meal. Done.

Breakfast. Do they do breakfast? They don't canes every fucking meal, done. Breakfast. Do they do breakfast? They don't. When do they open? 10. Okay, I'm eating breakfast at 10. I just stay up late this week. Yeah, sorry.

Yeah, I mean, I do eat canes every meal. Yeah, what's the... Basically, the question was, what's the least worst fast food? Canes and In-N-Out, if I was trying to have a normal week, would probably be the only two things. If I was trying to survive... In-N-Out, like one day. Is there any kind of sides or anything? Like a Wendy's baked potato maybe mix in there? have like a normal week would probably be the only things if I was trying to in and out like one Day is there any kind of sides or anything like a Wendy's baked potato? Maybe mix in there. There's like a regular food or like a McDonald's ice cream would be sick. Yeah

I mean, well yeah ice cream sure. I thought we're trying to feel good Yeah, get my feel good. Okay Now let's conjure up the absolute worst combination the single day. Just know let's do this Plan out how you would die the quickest on just fast food. Okay. Taco Bell and Baconators. McDonald's breakfast. McDonald's breakfast, Taco Bell for lunch, and a Baconator

for dinner. A buttery Jack. A buttery Jack. You throw a buttery Jack. You would die in three days off just buttery Jack. You would get taken down. I'm feeling pretty fucking winded after just eating like three quarters of that cheeseburger before. You were right telling me not to eat that whole thing. That's a good way to put it.

I'm like out of breath. Yeah, I'm winded after I eat time. Could be the vape Baconator combination. What did I get? I got a double. Wait, really? Yeah, I'm back. He asked for it on the car ride over.

I was like, okay. I knew you were weak. Yeah, you guys should have seen Jay. You thought he was so strong. He thought he was a star. Did I not put in a good two weeks though? Yeah, that was good for you. And I didn't lie in my mentality then. Like I didn't want it. Yeah, but now you do. You do. You go home for a couple days. You don't have to explain any further.

You don't have to explain any further, but you definitely- you thought. That's all I'm gonna say. I'm proud of you though. You for sure fucking thought I'll get back Feel that oh This is another thing I thought about on the flight to When it comes to girls worrying about their boyfriends cheating mm-hmm a guy taking a flight by himself should be their number one worry, dude Why yes, they should be more worried about that think about how quickly

you fall in love on a flight dude it's it's that's so fair one one six chick what is it about airport and in airplane girls man because it's a challenge because you feel like you should it's like a speed date yeah it's almost like it's almost like if i have good game i could do it now yeah but like i could get married now but also you ever even, like, gone up to a girl at an airport? I have thought about it for hours. I think that's what it is. One time I was able to, like, pull off the seat next to him on Southwest. Like, I got on after, and I sat next to him, and I was like, okay, here we go.

I didn't think about that on Southwest. Didn't say a fucking word. Dude, that's a play right there. If it's not your seat, just sit next to her. And then just have somebody, like, take you out if you get on first. No, but Southwest, it's open to you. Yeah, it's open seating, so you can just sit next to him and then just have somebody like take you out if you get on first no but southwest it's open yeah you just open seating oh you can just sit next to him yeah it's kind of nerve and i didn't say a fucking word i didn't say a goddamn i feel like the like weird like i headphones were in they were dead i left them in just like i couldn't talk to her i

was like i can't even hear what's proper airplane couldn't even look over that's a good topic i don't know that there is it's got it you have to hope that it's like it's got to be like a destination that's cool like it can't be like i'm flying home you can get them a drink it's like if you're going to mexico or hawaii and you can link up yeah because then you can just start with like hey what are you gonna do you just get wasted yeah yeah i think part of like the allure and like the the tension is that you just know you're never gonna talk to me oh yeah i've me. You could have had it in the bag, but I'll never see you again. I've done that for five hours straight.

That'll get me through a flight. I've ran through a full life with someone. I've gone through our entire life. Marriage, kids, the whole deal. I've definitely thought of some shit to do. I'm trying to think of what to do. It was a week of shit, though. I've done some weak shit.

I was on a family vacation and like the entire week i was there i was checking like the uh the stories for the beach that we had to see if she was there you were hoping you were hoping that hard you're like i didn't talk to her on the plane but maybe i'll get the courage at the beach with my family she must be on a different beach i don't know that brings me back to how desperate our game was when we lived on the beach in Oxnard when there's no girls around. So we would, you could check stories by location. So we would check like the bars to see if there's any hot girls because there's nobody

in the town. No one's. We would like do, we would check to see if there were just hoping someone like if there was, if there was a girl our age there, we would be like, we're going to the beach today or you could search your city. So it's weak ass city. You can search your city and see the top post I'm like the best couple days to see if there's any hot girls oh my god yeah and we like the most like that's desperation I gotta give you guys that

well it's good they were dead laid for like probably longest streak we've ever had in our lives yeah that was when I went six months that was I think that we're even there six months the The only reason I didn't... I was there. Wait, did I have a girlfriend that whole time? Yeah. Did you? Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. He just body-banged himself! He just actually buried himself! Oh shit! Wow! It came off wrong! I never saw her. No, you guys were on a break. She was never like really there. So I didn't get laid either. Yeah Oh, no. Yeah, you weren't looking at girls fucking stories while you're in a relationship

But just for interaction not for anything. Yeah, nothing. I just want to talk that my biggest laugh on the show. Whoa that ripped Oh, I'm single now That's Got really hot for you. Holy fuck. Oh, okay. Okay. What else we got on the fanny?

Okay. Damn, that was only one. Okay. Okay, so on the food thing, what is your guys' absolute broke food? Like, you got $25 to the last week. For a week? Yeah. $25 for a week of groceries.

What are you doing? Costco food court, dude. You're going to rip over to Costco and get food every day? No, no. You run out of gas and you're fucked. Dude, a fucking $1.50 for a dog and a drink? Do you get dogs to go?

Yeah. Do you get it at the food court thing? You get a dog and a drink for $1.50? No, you're saying you have to go back every meal? You have $25 for a week. You run out of gas. You want me to buy food to make it to house? I mean, it's got to be eggs and ramen, I think. Ramen's got to be part of it. You want me to buy food to make it to house? I mean, it's gotta be eggs and ramen. I think.

Ramen's gotta be part of it. Yeah. For sure. I don't know why you said that. No, I might have done this. I've done this a lot. I was like, what you're- Yeah, wait, this is your budget. Break it down. Pull up your Excel. You literally used to budget out in college like $25 for the month. Oh, yeah. Pull up your Excel sheet.

Oh, okay. No, I remember it. What's your price per egg? So no, this- oh, I remember. It was the mega shake. It up your Excel sheet. Oh, okay. No, I remember it. What's your price per egg? So, no. Oh, I remember. It was the mega shake. It was the mega shake. Fucking inflation. The mega shake, yeah. So, it was eight to-

Wait. The mega shake? Yeah, the mega shake. This was my college diet. So, I had like $6 for alcohol, but $25 for food or something. So, it was like drinking like a dozen eggs a day or night eight to twelve eggs a day Yeah, and then in the mega shake its Peanut butter and eggs yes and oatmeal and dry oats oh

This is this super. It was just water egg and peanut butter. I remember those those you could hold your nose I think I make money at the end of the week They pay you for that no No, I have extra. It's only $20. Oh, yeah, you're saving. Yeah, it's... We needed $20 to throw out an alcohol every fucking Friday. Yeah, so it's just like 10 eggs,

fucking like a cup of oats, peanut butter, and some oat milk in your fucking... Or water. Water if you're feeling fancy. Yeah, that's easy. I've done it. Holy shit. That's easy.

Okay, good. All right. The guy thought that was going to be a struggle for us, and we breezed through feeling fancy. Yeah, that's that's easy. That's I'm gonna shit. That's easy. Okay good all right That guy thought that was gonna be a struggle for us and we breezed through that yeah, we've been broke What are your go-to if I die I die moments Last bump before bed Taking any drug from a random person I'm kind of past these. I try not to die. Yeah, I mean, I feel like this was bigger in college and high school, maybe.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, remember when we used to pass around the fifth, I mean, the handle of Sailor Jerry's, and we didn't go out until the five of us finished it? Oh, yeah, the five people on a fifth for a pregame No handle. Oh a handle my bad. Oh, say, oh, dude. I forgot say Always get that because it's the most alcohol. Yeah, and it's horrid. Yes, so rancid Oh, do they used to be our talked they used to be our pregame every fucking weekend. I feel like yeah

Yeah, a little sailor danger you or split a 30 rack throughout a night. That's if I die, I die. That's doable. That's doable. Yeah. It's not death. Split a 30 rack for a pregame. Yeah. Yeah.

Cuffs and fists is usually if I die, I die. Do you remember the, who was I just describing the keg races to the other day? Oh, that's if I die, I die. Yeah. But I was like, we would literally like, you would, you, it would be like drink one. Throw it up. Throw it up immediately. But you just had to get it all the way down.

Then you could literally throw it up, and then you had to drink another one. I did it like eight times in a row. I didn't even drink it. It just came out after the 10th one. You're fucked. It's how fast can you throw up because you're trying to win. Yeah. Okay.

But we would just have 10 guys in a circle throwing up in the backyard just chugging it here. COVID wasn't if I die, I die. COVID? Oh, yeah. That that's fair we got through that after after a while i was just like i don't give a fuck even at the very beginning i was like whatever i feel like at the beginning we were just all vibing yeah i mean i i wasn't overtly trying to do it but it was definitely like ah if this is what's gonna take me out like okay if everyone's going down at this point. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I feel like in high school, like, going, like, 100 miles an hour in the back of some fool's, like, 98 Civic.

Oh, yeah, that shit'll scare the shit out of me. I didn't choose for this, but I'm like, I probably could die right now. Oh, yeah, when you're in the trunk. Sure, yeah. Any time I've ever ridden in the trunk of a car. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Going to Tijuana. Going to Tijuana in general. With my dad? Yeah, that dad yeah that's if I died I that was pretty recent as well driving a fucking off road vehicle on like a metric ton of mushrooms and hammered pretty sketch up a fucking vertical cliff were you there when we were trying to get that thing up the mountain on that one trip no I don't know if you're there sounds legendary we flipped it like three times trying to get it up to the mountain on that one trip? No, I don't think so. I don't know if you were there. Sounds legendary. We flipped it like three times trying to get it up to the top of this bridge. Just different people kept getting in it. I was like, look, no one's getting it up there.

We're all way too fucked up. That's good. Okay. Don't condone any of those activities. Yeah, do them. Yeah, I don't condone them. I say do them. I'm sure do them.

Give it a try. What's good with kangaroo Jack? Great flick. Oh, what's the song? Oh, I'm living in the land down under There's a kangaroo Jack song really That's a that's a throwback. I know that movie clapped it did So I came out like elementary kangaroo Jack sound with them. It's with, who's the funny chubby dude? Oh yeah, I got it. Anthony something?

It's with Snoop. Snoop Dogg's in it? Yeah. Shut up. Yeah, get fucked. Hold on, I got an ad here. No free ads. In the song or the movie?

Yeah. This is the theme song for the movie. Hmm. This is it. Wait. Oh, yeah, it is. This is... No, this is the good one.

This is not that, though. Yeah, he's dancing. He's like... Oh, it's just... Okay, no, this is just the beat over with Kangaroo, but did I got YouTube got me YouTube got me YouTube got me No that he does dance that in the movie though. Yeah, I feel like he gets the songs called kangaroo Jack But it's in from 2019. That's not it. That's not that songs called the next episode. I Think he just had a banging soundtrack it had a song I know it

I think it just had a banging soundtrack. It had a song, I know it. Hey baby. Kangaroo jack in the back with a fat bitch riding in my sack. Oh, does John have it? The movie rips. Yeah. They're just like driving through the desert in Australia

and just cover this sick ass kangaroo wearing sunglasses. And he vibes. Does he talk? I don't know if he does. I think he might just been chilling the whole time. No He doesn't talk yes, Google it This is good you this is good podcasting. Does Kangaroo Jack talk? Kangaroo Jack voice. Dude, there's no one that does the voice.

Really? No one is Kangaroo Jack. Yeah, no, this is his voice. He's got a voice voice kangaroo jack's lit don't stop rock to the bang bang we might be watching this this that's a thank you for that song I was thinking of that same right there that's uh I think that's sugar hill gang or

something the hippie tell you don't stop oh well bang bang boogie say up jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie db. That's it. Okay. King or Jack fucks.

What's up with King or Jack? He fucks. Yeah. They should remake that. Yeah. Talk about remakes. But if they remade it now

they'd do it weird. Yeah. It wouldn't be lit. Morg, I'm surprised you haven't said anything about this. Have you seen the new Snow White stuff?

Is she black? They remade Snow White's like Like an Indian girl or something kind of and then the seven dwarves aren't dwarves They're the seven mysterious people and they're all regular height now. They're all really well there There's one there's one dwarf and they're all just I think they're just called like magical creatures. Yeah, there's a magical people That's a cat you see the Tim Dunn bit on this. No, I didn't he went fucking off is so good Okay, here's one of the things dwarves are not Like in the movie, they're mythical dwarves. They're like Lord of the Rings dwarves. They're not they're not people midgets. Yeah They're magical

They're sleepy and dopey. Yeah they're magical they're they're sleepy and dopey and yeah why do we have to so they're high dust why do we have to change that one up i did see like a bunch of the dwarf actors being kind of pissed that they got rid of i did that i heard some more chat can you name them all like i've been this is what i've been training for my whole fucking list the Yeah. Sleepy, dopey. Yep. Prancer, vixen. I'm a cuck. Grumpy. Snoopy. Dopey.

Sleepy, dopey, mopey. There's no mopey. We got sleepy. Dopey. Dorp. Grumpy. Sleepy. Sneezy. Bashful.

Bashful. He's a hitter. Is that seven? Bashful. That's a hitter. Is that seven? Bashful's a... That's cute as fuck. That is cute as fuck. That's so cute. Oh, Doc is one of them, and Happy.

Doc? That's not a seven dwarf. He's like the leader. Doc's the old... Yeah, he's the dwarf. Really? He's the main guy. He's got the glasses.

He's the leader of the magical creatures. All right, that might have been it. Of the seven magical people. Yeah. That checks out looks like you just picked up a bunch of heroin addicts from Seattle and fucking threw them on the screen they do they look ragged they look like Portland home space but yeah you can pick these up from any fucking oh the new magical

people do yeah you could have picked them up from any downtown of any major city and just thrown them in the movie. That's good stuff. They look bad. I don't know why they couldn't be

bashful and cute and stuff like that. I thought dwarves were their magical dwarves. Yeah, what? So they remade the Lord of the Rings?

They can't have fucking hobbits? So basically they think that the old one was Snow Racist and the Seven Midgets is what... Yeah.

Snow, I'm white and I'm better than you and you're my midgets that i carry around with me like what the fuck no it's just a fucking movie it's a magical movie um i do oh i have one other good one that i forgot um you guys know in texas there's a thing called mutual combat yes well you just fight people right yeah you can just both agree that we're gonna fight and they can't like arrest you or anything

No one can get in trouble? Yeah, like they will walk up to cops like outside of a bar and be like mutual combat We both agreed and they're like, all right, just don't go do it in the street. What if Wait, can't you just do that? No, you can't it's not rule here. What happens if you like accidentally kill someone though? So that's that's one of the things it's it's within, there's like a line in it. So what if it's like mutual combat and then you hit them and they fall and hit their head? I don't know. That's combat. It gets hairy.

That's mutual combat. That's combat. If you hit them on the ground. It's like it's mutual combat. I forget what the, let me look it up. Obviously you can't beat them to death. But like if there's an accident during mutual combat, are we in the clear? There's no specific law on it.

This common law allows two individuals who are engaged in a consensual fight as long as no deadly weapons are used. So as long as you don't use weapons, hand to hand,

fist to fist, cuck to cuck. So you could kill them then? I guess. I think they let a lot of things slide in Texas. There's only three mutual combat states. What's the other one?

Washington. That checks. And then Oregon. Mutual combat is illegal. Oh, and then every other state is undefined. So there's no technical law. I'm pretty sure that is a thing you could do. Mutual combat?

Yeah. Which is kind of dope. It should be allowed. I would mutual combat a lot of... I'm sure it's usually just drunk at a bar. Mutual combat is the normal, but I think in a Starbucks, if someone's pissing you off, I'd be throwing it out there. I'd be saying, if someone was... I'd be like, mutual combat is the normal but I think like in like a Starbucks like if someone's pissing you off like I'd I'd be throwing it out there like I'd be

saying I if someone was I'd be like mutual combat do you figure out your order or mutual come yeah like you're taking way too long mutual combat right like I'm behind that yeah yeah I would use that so much we should start so like if that were the case like neither people can claim assault or anything yeah yeah yeah it's mutual combat Yeah, I wonder do you have to put it in writing? I was gonna say like you just have to have witnesses I guess yeah, it's like Michael Scott like record a selfie Yeah, I just shit face you got like a selfie video mutual combat. All right

I Would love to see that that's we need to just have that DMV like when they're like, oh, you don't have that mutual combat. On the cashier? Yeah, the people behind the counter. So many. Oh, dude, it would suck to be like a customer service person when we're in a mutual combat state. Just getting harassed over the phone.

Where are you at? We got a meetup for mutual combat. Yeah, you're just trying to return something. They're mad you don't have the receipt. And you're like, mutual combat. Mutual combat. We should look into this so we could have more insight. Yeah. Okay. trying to return something and they're mad you don't have to receive it and you're like mutual combat mutual combat we should look into this

so we can have more insight yeah okay like if I'll deep dive it there's gotta be YouTube videos on it I like a breakdown

yeah alright let's let's keep it going here how deep are we? we have a lot more we're at an hour ten yeah cause we could just

save a lot no there's a lot of these we've made promises but we can use them next time Or 10. Yeah. Because we could just save a lot. No, there's a lot of these. We've made promises. But we can use them next time. No, we've made promises. Because we don't need a two-hour episode if we have a bunch of bangers.

Huh? What promises have we made? We also said that we were going to fucking use their ads that you keep forgetting. We never said that. I said that. We don't need a two-hour episode. I'd rather have two bangers.

Yeah. Out of the questions we have. Okay, well, this girl's been begging for this. You don't even know who it is. Whose is it? I don't know what her name is. They'll know when she fucking sees it. I'm just saying that we said we were going to throw their

ats in. If you fuck that up again, you're out. You're getting voted off, Alan. Your tribe is spoken, motherfucker. Do you already have an entire submarine of soldiers? How many people are even in a submarine? I told you there was 150 people and then 15 officers. 165 people think you're a cuck.

The officers think I'm a cuck or the entire USS Iowa? The submarine itself thinks you're a cuck, homie. There's no way. They're going to launch a nuke into your fucking bedroom. They had a fucking board meeting on the sub. And what did they say about you guys? I'd love to hear they only said you they said it it was they said this is the exact morgan's a bitch by the way

like we were talking they said want to come for a rip on the submarine they said morgan said want to come for a rip on the submarine no they didn't to me and john they just said morgan's a bitch by this is his only thing morgan's a bitch by the way everyone on the uss iowa agrees he's a cuck he did say something nice at the end. Oh yeah, I left that out. He was like, but in an endearing way. Okay, so they fuck with the kid. No, a cuck in an endearing way?

That's like saying you're retarded in a smart way. Yeah, that's my gang. Okay, he actually feels better about it. Oh, we're lit. Oh, I'm a cuck in an endearing way. It feels good. Okay, you open up your freezer What color ice pop do you pick first blue blue everything like a otter pop? Yeah, it should be which color do you pick last? Oh, I don't remember all the colors cuz I only get blue we got we're talking to otter pop orange

Are we talking about orange green pink? Oh green fucks dude speaking of otterpops? It's otter pop season Yeah, wait you used to always have that on game. Let's get a hundred don't they have the cost they only come in hundreds I just went to Costco. Where's the pops? I'll get some pops. I'm gonna eat a case in a day That's the problem with us. I will eat a hundred and fifty otter pops. I'll get session I'll get straight out our house. I'll get Joker lips just slicing the shit out That's the thing about Costco bro if you get something like i used to i'm not even joking like my parents would go and get the like costco pack of oreos and i'd eat a sleeve in a night and they'd be like where what happened to the fucking oreos we just bought them a week ago i was like i i've been asking if

anyone wanted some more because every night i ate them. I house a full gallon of milk every two days to myself because I'd eat cereal fucking five times a day and a full sleeve of Oreos. I love this guy, dude. And don't bring the Eggo waffles near me either. Yeah, you love those? Four times a day, four waffles. But blue, yeah, that's easy, right?

Blue. Green's a close second for me. Oh, pink, they're all good. Yeah, blue, pink, green. Pink goes ridiculous. No, purple's the last. Oh, I forgot about purple. Yeah, purple's... Purple's like weird for pops. There's orange, red. Orange and red are pretty much the same.

Orange is pretty ass. Red's a little bit better. Yeah. Are there red Otter Pops? Purple's dead last. Orange is next. Red's okay. But then pink, green, blue. I'll eat a green right after a red no i thought about that so hard you can't end on a shitty one but i will do that for some reason that's like a trend yeah no that's i mean christmas it out yeah yeah i'll definitely

you can make some sick cocktails out of uh otter pops an otter pop slush because they're just like dank yeah otter pops are really good like alcohol i've just put made a reminder to get some like blend up did you actually blend up a couple otter pops and put a couple shots of tequila in there that sounds like dude we should do that really good drink yeah and ice jungle juice you know it's the only shitty thing about our pops when you order them or when you buy them they they're not frozen and you have to wait that's stupid that is one of the dumbest things ever when you have to wait for them to freeze like you throw them now that's almost makes me all eight minutes it's way longer than that remembering that makes me almost bad enough to not want to buy yeah no i hate otter pops dumb design put them in the frozen section

or get the fuck out what are you doing if you get back i'd low-key drink one before i would you have to drink at least one. I'd drink a warm one, put them in the freezer, check every five minutes, and then start doing them when they're still barely frozen. Or when you have a full sleeve of them that are frozen, you take out six at a time, and you eat them in different increments of frozenness.

Oh, that is a good strategy. You get one that's half slushy still, you kind of drink the shit out of it. I love when you get to the point where you can just... It's just icy enough where you can just gulp that. It's like ice slushy still. You kind of drink the shit out of it. I love when you get to the point where you can just. Oh. It's just like, it's like just icy enough where you can just gulp that. It's like ice go-gurt. Are you guys scissor bitches or do you just snap them in half? I'll bite it in half.

I used to do the biting, but I had too many like split incidents. Yeah. Where they would splash everywhere. Tough opens, yeah. It's better with scissors. It's better with scissors. It is. Objectively better.

I'm a break and half guy. And it looks, it's so nice to see it just. Well, yeah. right over the top. I've like cut like lips on like aesthetically. Otter Pops are tricky, bro. Dude, Otter Pops are really good. What's the most Otter Pops you've eaten at once? I used to get four, wrap them into the bundle,

cut them all off and just fucking eat them all at once. That sounds about right. I see that visual. Yeah. That's a perfect thickness of them. Oh, that's a good question. Okay. If you could relocate boobs, where would you put them? In my face.

Yes. Have the front attached to your face. Literally. Nipples installed right below my eyes. I can still still see but I have to move them stitch to the side of my cheek okay just it would be funny to have them on your butt

double up on the butt that would be a problem to sit down it would be lit to have the homies be able to have fun to the homies just they could just walk by and just like smack my tits Yeah, no yeah or grab them No, I get behind that not saying like I'd be down to do to either of you see I'm not saying like it's just me

No, yeah, I would want you. I'd want to do I would want you to be able to do it to me Yeah, yeah smack my tits Bro hey, bro smack my fucking tits. Yo, sick hit, dude. That was a dope shot, bro. Yeah, just a fucking Just up-downing your fucking homies tits. Yeah, oh dude, great assist.

I feel like on the knees would be pretty good looking. I feel like on the knees would be pretty good looking. I feel like on the knees would be pretty good looking. Be fun. I love that actually. Think about running like the 100 meter dash with tits on your knees. Think about running like the 100 meter dash with tits on your knees. the knees would be pretty good looking. It'd be fun. I love that, actually. Think about running the 100 meter dash with tits on your knees. I'm kind of thinking of kneecaps as tits now. He's got an angle. Just those things just bouncing. Yeah.

Because then sports would be really good. Yeah. Knee guards would be way more important. Oh, shoulders I feel like works. I was going to say... That's a good take. It's a clean take. No, okay. I know you said butt. But about like upper back just so like when you're hitting it from here's a better question I have like handles here's a better question. It's here a bad place for

Now now you thought of it tops of your feet wouldn't mind them Oh, you know be fucked out grab up? Yo, grab me, dude. Back of your knees, just fucking in the grease. You know what would be kind of a treat is armpits. Because they'd be kind of hiding all day. They get so sweaty, though. I don't know, that might be the only bad spot. He might have just fucked it, yeah. But that would be kind of funny.

Hey, dude, show me your tits. Now he's back. Yeah, that's good again. It's good again. It's good again. There's no bad placement. Having to throw some D.O. on your tits, though that would be rough the girls do have to do that with fat tits Oh like under yeah really no I don't

Is it the sweating or the chafing that gets them and the smell there's a baby powder their tits Yeah, oh some BP on the big old DTC BP on the big Baby powder their tits. Yeah, oh some BP on the big old DTC BP on the big See we're fine. Can you guys come down this rabbit hole me dude? I feel like I mean I look we've been down it We're not down it. There's so much more to do. We've said I like almost every part of the body Yeah, make it just one big one and cover the belly button with it For God's sakes your Earmuffs would be sick. I was thinking over the ears, but then I'd like to hear. Yeah.

Would you though? Not if I had sick tits on. Yeah, fine with being deaf, but I've got a rack. They're killing me the fuck out as long as they're hearing. It's the best question in the world. Seal my fucking mouth. I don't give a shit. Yeah, do them over my mouth.

Inverted and in my mouth. Yeah, just like, ahhh. Inverted and in my mouth just inverted it in my mouth yeah just like inverted it in my mouth next we are eight years old let's go okay i love that thank you for knowing that we would take that to the depths of hell oh this is a good one um okay i like when it's excited since the last 10 have also been on more you know this is a good so what do you got if you could pack a punch any item what would it be pack a punch any item yeah you know like in zombies yeah in nazi zombies that you fucking make a gun pack a punch what are you talking what i'm trying i i like the angle i just don't know what context we're working in just anything you know pack a punch just like you add

some zing to something to any oh oh okay? You like power up something yes, okay, okay? We'll snap So it's like an upgrade for a short period of time oh yeah, yeah It's like a like it's like a power like a like a I'm playing an elixir. It's like a 30-second Yeah, like you drink like the super speed pack of punch. Yeah. I mean, there's an obvious one that doesn't need to be said. Which one's that one?

Your cock or a line. Pack a punch of cock? Yeah. Your cock. That's called the end. Yeah. Like it has its own pack of punch. Did you just go full jackhammer for like a full minute?

Yeah. If I could pack a punch. More could last more than a minute. Yeah, that would be sick. Yeah, pack-a-punch long sex. I mean, if it was a pack-a-punch minute, though, they might not be able to handle any more than that. That's what I'm saying.

I need that. You need it, yeah. You need it to pack a punch. What's like kind of mid that could be sick? What's kind of mid that could be sick? I don't know. It's kind of a tough one. That's a tough one.

It is because it's so broad. I like it. I think we could come up with something. We could come up with good time. We could come up. It's a tough on the spotter. Yeah. Okay.

I mean, because anything sick, sicker would be cool. Yeah, yeah. It's hard to like. Name something cool that would be cooler. We'll come back with some specifics next time. If you were gay, what do you think your game would be like? Immaculate? My game's already good.

Immaculate? My gay game is good now. That's it? I mean, it's just, I'm a tease. You know what I mean? Yours is pretty easy. What's your angle? No, I'm saying I am already good, but I'm a I'm a tease you know what I mean. Oh, you're pretty easy. What's your angle? No, I'm saying I'm saying like I am already good, but I'm just a tease like yeah, like okay

Actually, yeah, me and you are gay go for it Okay, we're not doing that Just snap your fingers and make me spit gay game to you. I'm if you got game Morgan's Stop stop it Morgan's just grunting at them. Stop. Stop it. Okay, that works. Okay.

Yeah, the lip thing. Dude, the lip thing goes stupid. If you ever want, if somebody's ever talking shit to you or something. I was about to kill you motherfuckers that one night. Do you know when we were on YouTube? I was tripping my balls off and these fools wouldn't just stop looking at me like they wanted to tear my ass up.

I was like, stop, bro. I'm playing FIFA. Like, I'm getting horny. That's how we'll know we're on mushrooms or the mushrooms started to work. We started looking at each other like that. Fucking making that face. Okay.

Okay, good one. What's the most outrageous distance you've traveled to acquire a bag? Ooh. I remember in, I mean, this isn't, I could,

I will definitely come up with one, but do you remember when we were in big bear and awesome drove to San Diego to get us one in the middle of the night? That did happen. Didn't it? He drove to San Diego from big Sacramento. No, big bears in Southern. Oh no,

no, no, no. Oh, someone else drove from Tahoe to Sacramento. Someone drove from Tahoe to Sacramento to get one to get, what's that like four hours yeah no it was yeah he left at like 9 p.m came back at like 4 a.m biggest legend of the party we stayed up all night oh yeah that was not he was like if i come back and you guys are asleep i'm gonna kill you i was

like if i know there's fucking an ounce of blow and 20 pills coming back i'll be up that was like one of the first times I did it, too. I think I kicked down a door. Dude, we fucking demolished that first house in Tahoe. We threw a TV off the roof. We threw a TV off the roof. Holy shit. Yeah, we went off.

That was crazy shit. Yeah, we were putting paintings on the ground in front of holes in the walls, thinking that would cover it up. We took it off the wall and put it like on the floor you're trying to fix it next morning dropped up against the fucking thing like oh they'll never see that yeah that shit was outrageous what was the bill like for that i don't think we ever don't think we got charged for anything that tv was from the 80s though i feel like oh yeah no i don't even you like you wouldn't know it was in the room yeah i don't know they it out. I don't know how they didn't find it

in a million pieces in the backyard. Big snow the night after? There was snow. By the time the snow melted, it was six months ago. They don't know when it was. It was a clean... I don't know if it's more so the distance

or if it's the sketchness that I've gone to. I feel like in college I walked miles for it. I've definitely Ubered over 30 minutes one way and then 30 minutes back. Oh, yeah, that's pretty typical. That's just getting it. That's just going to get it. I feel like that doesn't happen as often anymore.

Yeah, that was when it first was. When you only knew one person that sold it and you were somewhere that they weren't. Yeah. Yeah, that was when it first was. When you only knew one person that sold it and you were somewhere that they weren't. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. How far would I go, though? That's a different story. I'll catch a flight.

Yeah, that is a completely different story. All right, I think that could be. Are you picking and choosing again? No, I'm just going through which ones we could save for next week. So you're picking and choosing? Well, yeah, because there's still 15 left. Well, we can't get through them all. I thought we had promises we had to make.

Well, if we didn't get to yours this week, we're going to get to it next week. Yeah, we got a little lost in the sauce. Yeah, well, they were great questions, so we went off on them. If we didn't get to yours this week, we'll for sure get to yours next week. You already submitted it.

And Morg will possibly add the names. I'm going to add the names. Sorry. I got a lot of things on my plate, dude. Just when you're typing it down the first time, fucking put the name. I know it's an easy thing to do, my brother. But shout out to everyone who submitted.

And you are more than welcome to submit, you know, more than one a week or, you know, resubmit the next week. We're not picky. Also, help us get that twee sponsorship. Send in your twarmer pics.

Yeah. Send in some Twisted Tea armor pictures. If you happen to crush a case of Twisted Tea, put the case on your way. Can we do some sort of competition for the best twarmer?

We could. We can give away some shit. Or should we? Oh, we can do. We've got some Manscaped to give away, don't we? Yeah, we do. Yeah, we'll Manscaped you out if you twarmer we could we can give away some shit or should we oh we can do i guess a manscape to give away don't we yeah we do yeah we'll manscape you out if you twarm her up and if you're a female we'll come up with something cute yeah to give you yeah we still got the manscape scents are pretty good for chicks maybe well i mean you can give it to your man you can give it maybe as a gift to to your dad or brother or something oh yeah that works we have manscape stuff to give

away but if the tweet the Tweet campaign goes well, then we're going to plug the team with Tweet. We'll Tweet out, yeah. That's got to work, I feel like. For best Twarmer pick, maybe we just send them some Twisted Teagear. Yeah. As soon as we get the Twisted Teagear sponsorship.

No, I'm saying we could just buy them like a fucking... Oh, yeah, we'll get you a fucking Garrett fit. Yeah, a lit-ass Twisted Teagear fit. Oh, yeah, that works. Gang shit. All right. All right. We will see you a fucking Garrett fit. Yeah, a lit ass twisted tee fit. Oh, yeah. That works. Gang shit. All right. All right. We will see you next Friday because we are on time.

Dude, we'll stay up late for the boys. Stay up late. I think we might. Night boys. This might be the routine. But other than that. Yeah, this feels a lot better. Yeah.

Hubie noise. You're Hubie. Garrett's Hubie. He's on his Hubie shit. I'm on my. I was on my Benjamin Button shit. Now I'm on my Hubie shit I'm on my I was on my Benjamin Button shit now I'm on my Huberman shit gang shit

still reverse aging though yes gang shit see you guys next Friday