NO FOMO - 62. Man Naming Things

Episode Date: October 13, 2023

🔔 Subscribe & Follow: ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/nofomopod⁠⁠ 🎽 Merch: ⁠⁠https://www.bonfire.com/store/no-fomo/⁠⁠ Welcome Back Fomosapiens. This week we man name some shit for the boys, solve the girl poop conundrum and play the pumpkin game. Support the Podcast: Get 20% OFF @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code NOFOMO at MANSCAPED.com!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back, back, back to the Monster Chicken FOMO Show. Now it's FOMO. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Here he is. We had already started before we were rudely interrupted by our unprepared studio hand. Our stage hand. Our stage boy. Dude, I like fucking iPads, dude.

Holy shit. How do I look? Yeah, they're big. You look so good. Okay, good. What feels like episode one, because of our lack of preparation every single time, is actually episode 62. 62-ish.

Let's just throw an ish on most of those. Yeah. It's over 50. Dude, I feel fucking different with this. Do you? Wait, no, no, no. Hand Morgan his cone. He doesn't want to put on the cone.

I'm not going to be able to speak. He thinks he's better than the cone. I never said I was better than the cone. You at least need your thumbs up. Yeah, can you explain? Can you just put on the cone so everyone knows what you look like? Just put the cone on. And I'm gonna grab your thumbs up real quick.

Yeah. Because you are the current holder. You're so red. Cone up, dude. Cone up. Ow! Thank God the fucking plaque wasn't there. You honestly look really good if we could make that work.

You know why? Because you're my dog. Call me the original Conan brother, dude. Conan brother? He's the third Conan? I love seeing my dog in a cone. I can see why they scratch at these. You can see why they try and get that off?

Yeah, this is pretty fucked up. Okay. Well, it's usually to cover something that they would want to scratch more. That's kind of the premise. I would scratch at this just because it's fucking annoying. It looks way worse. So I can explain mine, John. You can explain yours after.

Yeah. My arm hurts because yesterday I absolutely ransacked these gentlemen. No, we don't know that for sure. So we had a shit face wager on what, Friday night? I would preface it more as, you know when you have an argument with your friends every time you get too drunk and you're sitting around the couch? Do I know that? At one point, it's got to get settled.

But it's the same one every time. It's like, oh, dude, there's no way you could wrestle a bear or whatever. And someone's like, yeah, I could. I guarantee you could. This is something we could prove. Yeah. And it's been going on for months now. Wait, hold on.

You think you could wrestle a bear? No. I'm just fucking kidding fucking no one said that we had two i we put they made me put the bet in my phone and i looked and i had a separate time that you had made me put that in the phone previously three months ago oh we had already done it yeah yeah so we finally had to put it to rest and the bet was so first and foremost what what comes first you think that morgan could throw a baseball faster than me no it was that you could throw 80 this has been months that's been in there for 80 was a start okay for the record i can but if i had thrown a ball more than once in the last

decade maybe but i still don't think so but the second part of it was second part of it was that morgan could throw a ball fast yes yeah which i can maybe still not even close yeah not by what i saw and what what the record proved was we bought a john bought a radar gun amazon primed it to yes to prove yesterday we went to the park and we we went through we went to a small child's like t-ball that's where i grew up playing baseball and it looked about the right size for you even now okay the field well that's yeah you fit in that field yeah like the only reason we didn't get kicked out of there is because that was your practice those are his coaches you throw as fast as the kids that play on that field which is insane dude i'm telling you

that is true if i could throw it straight it's faster well for the numbers part of it garrett threw a 66 not 80 uh morgue threw it 54 not even close to 80 supposedly and then i just for fun threw it in there 61 okay i love how you just just you're so good at just doing that you know yeah i would honestly as much as i don't want to fully agree with that yeah but it the i will say the only thing that that was a little and this isn't to give me any credit it's to give morgan more credit and not myself uh-huh sure it's that it took it took you like 10 pitches to get the thing dialed in and like you threw like your first pitch your hardest which makes sense yeah we had already warmed up plenty uh well you guys you're not gonna throw any faster

after your first hardest throw if you haven't thrown it's weird that you say that because when uh i was dialing that thing in, you guys were saying you're just warming up. Yeah, we were still like, we were getting into it, but we were tiring out our arm, if we're being honest. There was a couple.

Dude, I guess I've got more elasticity, longevity. Dude, I swear the wind was kicking up for mine. It was crazy out there. Anyway. Crazy, dude. No, but I would honestly say that was no one's ever thrown less accurate than i just that was oh that was half of his pitches didn't even register on the radar

dude one of my pitches went over the back gate okay it went over the backstop like like we should have found i don't know why we didn't we should have filmed all the time but that just shows you how much fucking power's in there dude why didn't we document that yeah let's do it again we should go i i think we should just go play catch and watch mark is in there, dude. Yeah, why didn't we document that? Let's do it again. We should go out. I think we should just go play catch and watch Mark throw the ball around. Dude, when we were playing catch, I was yakking him, dude. I put you guys on a fucking workout. That's because we could move 100 feet.

You guys couldn't even catch up to the fucking far ones, dude. To the yak on them? Yeah. It's because they were 20 feet over our head. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. There's so much power, it's hard to control it. I can't throw it. What is it, 50 feet?

That wasn't even the distance of a regular. That wasn't even 50 feet. No, that one's 50 feet's 50 feet you think wait how how long are they regularly 60 feet 60 but are the little league ones shorter yes that one for sure was oh that doesn't even count dude so if it was longer it would have been mine would have been to the backstop it probably would have been six feet to the backstop it probably was about 60 feet though i don't know i would after seeing that i would pick any like 12 year old over you in like if i was drafting my team to play no the team would be fucking scared out of their fucking mind if they saw me warming up and i was throwing it 20 feet above their head yeah 51 miles an hour thing. Yeah, 51 miles an hour on average.

No, I'm hucking gas and throwing that fast. I'm throwing 90 just at the dugout, though. That's true. That's true. Test me one of those doubles. You want one of these doubles? So anyway, we settled... Are those for us?

We settled a debate. For me. Can I have one? You want one? Yeah, that would be... Remember, they're two. Okay. So you can have half.

Yeah. I throw faster than Morgan. That's all we need to know. Okay. We don't know that for sure. We do. We definitely know that. We do based on the evidence we have currently.

It wasn't like one pitch. It was like 10. Only one of mine registered. See that? Literally only one of mine registered. That's not true. I saw multiple 50s. No, only one of mine registered. But yeah,

that's why we're here today. That's why Garrett had the sling on. I kind of have the neck brace on just out of pure life's getting to me. Yeah, you're broken down I need a little support you're broken down just to stay awake. Are we are you down bad or you just need support? It's a combo for sure. There's not one without the other I don't think is there talk to what are the rules with all the Can you can a person be a piece of an animal is that like pc like a safe safe animal a person be a safe oh explain like identify as a safe can i identify as a support support animal sorry oh yeah free flights at this point right right i think that's how far we're at yeah okay that's

something to try free flights a well you would have to take you would have to fly underneath right no emotional support animals sit in your lap no i get that for, you would have to fly underneath, right? No, emotional support animal will sit in your lap. No, you have to pay for the seat. I used to fly with my dog. Oh, you had to pay for the seat? You had to pay for the seat? Well, at least you pay for it and he doesn't.

That's true. That makes a lot of sense. That's such a pro for me. Yeah, that's a light back. I'm all the way in on that. Before we get too far ahead of ourselves, Morgan, you have a thumbs up of the week from last week.

Yeah, who do you want to give the thumbs up of the week? For crushing, messing up an entire episode. So you're able to nominate someone. a thumbs up of the week from last week yeah who do you want to give the thumbs up crushing for crushing uh messing up an entire episode so you're able to nominate someone okay so we who would you nominate this week who had the who had a thumbs up who's big up or so here's the thing about the thumbs up it could be a thumbs up that was awesome or it could be thumbs up like fucking thumbs up yeah fucking yes sick brother shock Okay, so we still don't know that this episode's gonna work out fine. Yeah.

So I'm still in the running for this. Oh, you can get it next week again, yeah. You wouldn't get it till next week if this one was fucking up. But who's fucking big ups? Yeah. Who's fucking up big? Or fucking big ups? You know what?

You know what I'm gonna do? No. I know exactly what you're gonna do. This is gonna be motivation and celebration at the same time. Okay. Me and John have been studying in the gym, and he's looking fucking massive, dude. Oh! I hurt myself in the gym.

That's why I had the neck thing on. I'd like to veto. Let me say what Garrett's going to say before he says it. He wanted this thumb because he won the arm throwing. The throwing of the arms. I don't know. Technically, the bets canceled out, so nobody won anything.

Yeah, no one really won. I threw 15 miles. I'll do this. We don't know that. I would happily love to. We do know that. We had a radar gun. I would love to share.

Yeah, that thing was $200. I got to return that, by the way. Don't let me forget that. I was just trying to warm up my arm to throw it straight, dude. Would you like to co-share this thumb for us both being better than Morgan? As long as you shove it up my ass.

Okay, deal. Okay. Now you guys can't thumb share. You spit on it, I'll sit on it. You guys can't thumb share. We're thumb sharing. Be careful there. Very lightly.

All right. I feel good about that. I was going to give him the thumbs up for thinking that just because he's bigger, he could throw a ball faster. Yeah. I can throw the ball faster. Honestly, to this point. You literally cannot.

Until we went out there I couldn't have imagined that you would throw it worse than that Yeah, like I was bite me knowing that you didn't know how to throw a baseball I was like, there's my guys a slight athlete. Yeah, but now I'd be I would almost renounce your athleticism like title This is what I've been saying the whole time. I could dime a football though. That's fake It's kind of a window sports. You might be it. You might be like you're just not a the ball is too small I'm huge. It's like throwing a fucking pebble to that's like it's been in a window some sports you might be you might be like you're just not dude the ball is too small I'm huge it's like throwing

a fucking pebble dude that's like I can't throw a pebble dude Kershaw's like 6'7 dude you're the same you're the average height of an MLB pitcher

but I'm fucking way more girth dude no okay next way more girth anyways alright so here we go

episode 62 62 spooky seasons around the corner we got some scary stuff on the docket here Gary did you see your friend from high school keeps commenting you look like an owl on tick-tock. I Don't ever go on tick-tock now But he has been doing that. Have you seen the guy? Ooh, no, actually no Fuck I thought I could get him dude damn didn't get him oh is it was there something you were supposed to say who yeah god damn it

dude i didn't want to ruin it but i i felt it he doesn't go on tiktok okay that wasn't that wasn't gonna be good for the record i'm glad i missed that next um in honor of spooky season i've been watching an absolute smorgasbord of scary movies. You have. Saw the worst one. I don't even know if it's supposed to be a scary movie. Just objectively the worst movie of any genre I've ever seen in my life. And you guys have probably both seen it.

Vivarium. Never heard of it. Dude, I watched that thing high. It scared the living fuck out of me. The one with the dude from Social Network? Yeah. that thing high it scared the living fuck out of me the one with the dude from social network yeah where they get stuck in like a shitty like or like a like track home community right yeah it's the worst movie i've ever seen oh wait wait yeah i have seen that wait why is that the worst movie ever seen it's fucking horrific that one's pretty bad but it that's the one where like he's like

tearing up the ground and it's like foam yeah that one's weird okay so can i explain what happened i watch it dead sober it's the worst thing we watched that together oh yeah so what happened to me was you know how there's the bird scene in the beginning that's pretty much the catalyst for the whole fucking plot i mean yeah i kind of put that together but i missed that part and i took an edible if i was high i would have thought it was the best movie of all time yeah so i missed like what this whole thing's supposed to be about but most people probably did the bird scene isn't really that

like they tried to make it relevant but it's actually not really but it makes the movie make sense the whole time I was just like

what it does it though I don't even remember the bird scene it's just a dead bird and he puts it in the ground but that's one of

those things like I know the scenes that are pieced together the plot yeah but like that's how bad it is

even that didn't do anything it did though because I recall that I how bad it is is even that didn't do anything. It did though. Because I recall I recall that I was like oh is this because he's digging up like is it him putting the bird in the grave

he's dug his own grave like it's fucking it's still retarded. That was a big stitch in the square of a quilt that was the story. It was the worst. And there's a scene

Garrett didn't get it. The scene where the fucking guy all of a sudden you didn't get it weird. The scene where fucking guy all of a sudden lifts up the sidewalk and crawls like Gollum down to the nether realm. Oh, see, that's why you didn't like it because he was impersonating you. He crawled it better than you?

He was appropriating my culture. That's what I'm saying. He crawled better. That's not how you do it. It has a 2.3. It's a shitty-ass movie. Wait, Swear to God? Dude, that's a 2.3. That scared shitty oh no it's a shit movie wait swear to god yeah dude that's a 2.3 that scared the fuck out of me

when I watched that I went in knowing it had that and I was excited and it wasn't even funny bad it wasn't even good bad it was bland bad it sucks bad bad

it was bad it was big bad how do you go from the social network to that that guy hasn't made a good movie ever well he plays the same character like that was the only role

Juno Mark Zuckerberg's the only role he should have ever played Juno yeah he was good at that he's not in Juno is he plays the same character. Like, that was the only role. Juno. Mark Zuckerberg's the only role he should have ever played. Juno? Yeah, he was good at that. Is it not the same guy? It's not Michael Cera. He plays Juno. It's not Michael Cera. What am I thinking of? Oh, Zombieland. Oh, Zombieland, he fucks in that. He looks like Michael Cera. Well, because he looks like

a scared bitch. They're the same fucking guy. Michael Cera is funny. This guy's just whack. I don't fuck with him. I'd fuck him. We're going to take a quick break from solving all the world's problems to bring you

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Lightning. Live from Tampa Bay. It's NHL season, baby! Now back to the show! Back to the show! Wait, I had to quit going along the lines of the movie stuff. Did your guy's brain do that asshole thing? Like when you're watching a movie you haven't watched in a long time

and it fills in the whole plot for you? Like right as you're about to watch it? Like you remember? Like I have to remember. Are you talking about remembering? No, no, no, no. Does your guy's brain do this thing where if you've seen a movie no so it's like what's gonna happen no so it's like

no so it's like i haven't seen it in 10 years and it's like i pretty much still remember i pretty much don't know what happens but then like in the first five minutes my brain will just fill in the whole blank okay no i know what you're saying but mine doesn't do it for that it does it for like you know when like a song comes on that you haven't heard in a long time and then you hear it and then all of a sudden you remember the words it like fills in the lyrics for you it's called memory now this is a little bit dumb you remember when something happened last week and you remember it no but this is different because like you can't remember i know what it's like it's like it's like you know when like i started telling a story about something

and then you uh have heard that story before, and so then you piece together the rest of it before I finish it because you were there or heard it? No, but you watched it because you couldn't remember it. You couldn't remember every part of it. Yeah. And then, yeah, you get reminded. But I'm not, like, trying to fill in the blanks.

But then you get reminded by the movie. Were you fucking shocked when, like, something came up, and you're like, oh, that's how it ends? No how it ends no because like when i clicked it i couldn't remember the whole thing which is normal and then the first like 30 seconds i'm like oh okay fuck me good as your brain is that whole thing where it like thinks once in a while all right well that was one of the dumber things you ever said in the world bad he just stopped writing down my thoughts does your guys fucking brain do this fucking thing where like, if you've seen a movie, you start watching it and you're like,

Oh yeah, I remember this. Like where you hear the, I'm sure somebody listening is like, fuck yeah, dude, I'm some shit too. Like,

come on. Yeah. Yeah. 1% of people are severely disabled in the mind. Let me see. You ever hear the word sweet home and you're like, God damn it, Alabama.

I didn't remember the words until I heard the song. Well, anywho, that felt good. I need to go to my backup list of things to talk about. I've got a fun topic and then game in it. Unless anyone has a fun topic. Wait,

can we do our big game first? Cause that's fun. Well, no, no, no. This is, this is relevant.

This is a relevant thing. So Drake album came out. Did anyone get ears on it? Haven't heard of it. Me and Jay did a speed list. I did a speed listen. I did a speed listen. No, this is funny is funny morgan morgan fucking pulls up the album and he's like let me try and find a good song and he plays like the first five seconds of a song and then he just skips to the middle it's like you know he two times speeds watches youtube videos he's running two times speed

enjoy music so i could do that if you're gonna put out a 23-song album, I'd do the same thing. I did first 10 seconds, middle 20 seconds, and then last 10 seconds. Yeah. I didn't love anything right off rip. Fucking suck rocks, dude. This is why you guys need to adopt the strategy that I have. Let other people figure it out for you. But we're supposed to be the fucking gatekeepers, dude.

I know, but it's so much easier this way. New album comes out, everyone goes, oh shit, it's all over, whatever, the Twitter X bullshit that you guys are on. How old are you? I'm so boomer of you. And then, all of a sudden, the radio's on, the new Drake song's on.

This is the good one. It's done for you. I usually do explore music like that. No, you just go immediately to Spotify the next day once the stats upload, and you find the top three songs from the album all right that's how i usually i already did that now but it's less efficient so i have a fun little game but it's based off of this idea okay this thought there's a there's a lyric in the drake album one lyric that is called i forget the name of the song, but it's irrelevant because this,

this lyric is timeless. It says, feel like I'm by cause you're one of the guys, my girl. That hits. What song is that? Cause that's the number one. How? And he's talking to a guy too. Feel like I'm by cause you're one of the guys, my girl.

And he's talking to his homie. My girl. So that inspired me. That inspired me to make a game. Who said that quote, Drake or a famous philosopher? Okay, okay. Okay, ready? Okay.

Okay, I like this. I like this. All right, first one. Judge me and you'll have no time left to love me. Drake. I'm going to Drake that. He's a lover boy. Okay. Is that right? That's right. Okay, yeah. Fuck Drake. I'm going to Drake that. He's a lover boy. Okay.

Is that right? That's right. Okay, yeah. Fuck yeah. Is that an album? Lover boy? Is that the album? Certified lover boy.

Is it from there? I didn't write down what song it's from. I was power through. You made a critical error with this game. You forgot whatever a Swifty is for Drake, we're Drakeys. You're not though. We're Drakeys.

We're dirty. You're definitely not. We're Drakeys. Die hard Drakey. You're definitely not. Yep, yep go ahead okay hit me see if i get one wrong what lies behind you and what lies in front of you not pales in comparison to what lies inside of you drake's all about the future because we're drakeys it's not drake not drake that's about that's about the future not drake yet no i'm not drake that's not drake It's Ralph Waldo Emerson. Yeah, I know my Ralph Waldo, obviously. You think you're going to be with a Ralphie?

My boy Ralph. All right, all right. I live by everything Ralph's ever said. So not Drake. Next. When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen. That's Drake.

No, that's not Drake. Oh, no, that's... That's... Is that Plato? That's Plateau. Split decision? Wait, hold up, hold up, hold up. Say it again, say it again.

When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen. Can you say it like Drake? I don't know. When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold your penis. That might be bye. No, that's not him.

That's not Drake. That's not him that's not that's drake fuck i'm not a drake anymore um i like that term can we just call that a drakey i'm a drakey yeah i like that dude um in a rich man's house there's no place to spit but his face that's not drake his he's so rich drake's not like that he's not early dra's so rich Drake's not like that he's not like that early Drake no see you're trying to convince us

it's not Drake you think a mid-century philosopher wrote this yes I do yes look at him reverse gaslight that's 1602 it's deogenous

yeah duh yeah I would love to know where you went to find these I hope he has 40 of them it's just his screen background I literally had to delete I had went to find these. I hope he has 40 of them. It's just his screen background.

I literally had to delete. I had to filter them down. I had so many. Some of Drake's were way better than these fucking old bastards. That's why we're Drakey. Yeah, that's why we're Drakey. Let's see here. Everybody dies, but not everybody lives.

That's Drizzle. Because everybody dies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, if you don't get that one, you're a cap. That's Drizz, Because everybody dies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, if you don't get that one, you're a bitch. That's Drizz, bitch. If you don't get that one,

you're a cap. I'm a Drizzy. I'm a Drizzy, bitch. I'm a Drizzy. You're a Drizzy slut? I like that better than Drizzy. I'm Drizzy, bitch. All right,

this one's a wild card. This one's a wild card. Bet. Live for today, plan for tomorrow, party tonight. Nah. That's like riff-raff.

That's not Drizzle. He's a philosopher. Yeah. It's riff-raff it's not drizzle he's a philosopher yeah it's riffraff he's a tonight it's straight oh that's also riffraff it's probably a lot of people i liked that it resonates i like that i like that all right we want to do our uh what game do you want to play more you said the big one do you want to play big game the man name yeah you want to do man names yeah okay so wait can we explain the game but i want to i want to make a distinction here okay so this game is basically based on when you go to buy something like as a man you've got bear thorn deodorant you don't have like whatever secret whisper yeah you have when you're when you watch a movie you don't want to when you oh the

example we use going to the pumpkin patch you don't want to say that to your friends okay so you say you're going gourd hunting yep yeah it's a man version of explaining things that suck to do that are lame to do that are girly to do so we're just gonna we're not mansplaining we're man reclassifying or we're just kind of coming up with a cool way you could say it to your friends So if hey are you are you free Sunday? We were thinking about doing this. I can't Blank insert so I don't know if everyone did movies, but I know Jay mentioned movies if you did do movies Let's save them for after we do the other show. Okay, okay Uh morgue, what do you got dude? Do you want to hit us with one? Um for dates? I'm going on a date tonight

I just had a burning hard-earned money just because i had the same just because i had the same one i'll say uh going on a date foreplay okay i like that i got foreplay tonight um okay so i have a few for like each one of these things i'm gonna start with kind of this is like an umbrella term you could use for a couple. You don't even want to explain the thing you're doing, but you're stuck hanging out with your girl. Here's what it is. So you've got, sorry, I can't, boys.

I know we're going to go drink tonight. It's grit day today. It's grit day. Grit day. Are we supposed to guess? No, no, no. No, you don't have to guess. You don't want to explain it.

I've got grit day. I can't. It's my grit day. You're just grinding. I've got to go to the mall. You're guess? No, no, no. No, you don't have to guess. That's just, you're just, you don't want to explain it to, I've got grit day. I can't. It's my grit day. You're just grinding. I've got to go to the mall. You're grinding. Yeah, yeah. I'm grinding.

It's grit day. Okay. Or you've got leveling up with my quest companion. Okay. That's good. I like that. That's good. Grinding with my squad.

Yeah. Sorry, boys. I can't. It's a level up day. That's good. Okay. Grocery shopping. Gathering resources. Okay. That's good. Okay. Grocery shopping, gathering resources. Okay, that's good.

I had one like that too. It's doomsday prepping. Doomsday prep, yes. I got doomsday prep. I can't. I would love to go. AKA today's doomsday. I don't have any food.

I'm scavenging. Yeah, I would love to go out and have some beers and watch the game, but I can't. Doomsday prep. That's good. I'm not running the tjs i'm doing say prepping i would let that slide sources i wouldn't even let that i wouldn't even ask another question yeah i know he's got work to do sorry boys i've i've got to gather some resources if you tell me you're doomsday prepping done you're like oh holy shit you're busy as fuck

yeah you're very busy is it over to me yep um for picnic i had a field meal sorry i'm having a field meal field meal perhaps with a view perhaps yeah i have some outdoor rations field meal on a high perch yeah i also had uh this is a good second one meadow munching yeah i like that okay i love that yeah that's a this is a good second one meadow munching yeah okay i love that yeah that's a double entendre too because you could be munching in the meadows yeah so we're gonna throw a blanket down and do some meadow munching yeah it works in a couple ways that's good i love that one um okay let's see what okay so this is another one i have multiple for but it's uh when you're building ikea furniture for your woman, okay, okay, so I've got

Sorry, can't guys I'm teaching woodshop Then I've got Sorry guys. I'm gonna fight for my life That's good. That's almost a good blanket term one. That's valid. Sorry. It's five And then the last one that goes for anything and the last one here is I'm getting reacquainted with an old foe Yes, those are all good, which is a Boys know how to do this three-quarter inch fucking hand crank wrench. Mm-hmm. Yeah the fucking little bitch fucking Well, you can barely fit it small twist it with your fucking two fingers only fits in as long as the thing is Oh like the Allen you can only get a quarter hits the It hits the fucking corner and you have to quarter turn it.

God, I love my Jesus. That's a battle. I'm not going to Home Depot. I'm going to church. Okay. I like that. I like church as a move, just in general. We've got church. It could be any day of the week. But for a grown man, Home Depot's church.

I think you could just go to Home Depot. That might be one, yeah, that's almost a man-tivity. That's man-tings. That's man-tings. Okay, so if you had to explain it to your girl, maybe. So no, I'm thinking more, it depends, if someone's like, oh, what are you going to Home Depot for and the real reason is you're building like a wine rack for something that's, or I've got to make a charcuterie board but then you could say

no i'm just dude you know me i just got to go to church or building a hennessy hut or something there you go yes dude i could do alliteration all day am i back up morgues up um so if you're going on a trip with your girl or something just filing for bankruptcy i love it you're all just wasting that's good i'm burning my bank account i'm evading chase bank yeah and then just some other ones along those lines shopping i just have uh money burning yeah letting a money pit on fire and then uh going out to dinner i have igniting cash. Yeah. Yeah. That's how those go. Eating, stuffing cash into your mouth. Yeah.

Okay. So I've got like staying in and watching a scary movie with your girl. We're cultivating fear tonight. Okay. Or testing my adrenaline. We're suppressing the bitch. Yeah. Yeah.

Dude, heart rate's going to stay low, but we're watching saw three it's four it's four scuttles that you could also do learning oh i like learning yeah i like learning a lot studying i almost have that so for reality tv that could be learning or like gossip but i have a passing divine judgment that's good i've got one more for this and then I have some good movie ones. Okay, okay. This one's okay. It was just coming off of the date ideas. Say you're going to the zoo with your girl. Objectively gay, right? I'm going rifle-less hunting.

Rifle-less hunting? Gun-less hunting? Yeah. The animals are there. I just didn't bring my rifle. I had zoo as well and I put sizing up the competition. See, I like that. Oh, yeah. I like that as well.

I like that. Reasserting myself as top of the food chain. Yeah. I like that. Mm-hmm. I've got a wine and paint night is blackout and tag my territory. I like that. Manicure pedicure day, extreme nail artistry.

That's good wait can I build off the wine night thing yeah so any sort of wine night I had a blacking out accidentally or the only type of

blacking out she's cool with yeah oops finished a bottle yeah I'm oopsing let's see what else do I have if we don't have a bunch of movie ones

we don't have to delineate but I do have some banger movie tests I think I could so this was my thought I think I can come up with them on the spot okay

I feel good about this I got one more before okay I've got two more before movies if you got some banger you can mix movies or should we just let them

let them rip them after we're finished yeah rip some movies just do one more okay for yoga I had self harm ooh I had, for yoga, I had self-harm. Ooh, I had one for yoga.

Yoga's like, hey, dude, you're thinking about watching the game on Saturday. Are you going to come over? Sorry, I'm becoming a mindful menace. Or war prep. War prep. Getting loose. Yeah, getting loose.

And the war's on your asshole when I'm invading. And then my last one is an easy just cop out for anything is got some bullshit to do later. That's just true. That's just a cop out. That's just too real. Well, we just know that you're doing something whack. That's what you say. Do I have any other ones here?

Oh, going on a hike. I have burning the oregon trail and then i have uh what else oh going to the farmer's market uh just cultivating some local creations i wanted to do farmers that's good harvesting from the local i'm harvesting or trading i'm trading with the town i'm bartering i'm going bartering bartering that's bartering. I'm going bartering. Bartering with the townspeople. That's what it is. I'm going bartering. So, John put me on the tip to go with, like, renaming rom-coms in the same vein, which I think is so good and so easy that we could run this back.

Because you had some good ones when we were just spitballing. So, the reason I thought of this whole idea originally was there was an interview with Steve Carell. And he was talking about Crazy Stupid Love. And he was like, I thought that movie was bigger than a rom-com. And because like, that's a good, like for guys,

that's a good rom-com. Wait, tell the story behind that. Three of us all drunk in unison the other night. Oh, this was the other night. We're like,

what's the best rom-com? Crazy Stupid Love at the exact same time. Oh, that's so pure. It's such a good moment. It is bigger than a rom-com. It's a fucking purebred comedy. It's yeah but his point was he was like i didn't want

to name it that because if you're a guy picking out what movie we're gonna go see and your girl suggests crazy stupid love with no premise you're gonna be like fuck no i'm not going which is valid i didn't watch it for years because i thought that uh but if you think about the fact that stupid is in the middle. But he was just like, just name it something else. Yeah. Name it fucking stupid love. Crazy stupid.

Well, so in that vein, I'll just go right to my first one. It wasn't my first one, but it will be now. Crazy stupid love. Love. That's the new title. That's the worst one. How to lose a guy in 10 days. How the fuck has this girl been talking to me for 10 days?

Thank God I haven't heard from her after 10 days. Love and other drugs. Cocaine and cocaine. I like that. These aren't rom-coms, but I just went on a little bit of a tangent here. The Hangover. Went out for one drink with the boys last night. knew that was gonna be the first movie that one's sorry my phone died yeah like my phone was dead what am i i know my location was off but i mean it was just my phone was dead yeah what the fuck um this one is also not relevant to rom-coms but the curious case of Benjamin Button

rigged harder as a baby than it is an old man he got the same girl from 80 to 8 damn I only rigged one chick play the movie front ways or back ways I still rig I thought what was the one I was thinking of the notebook you just call that one the playbook

I had the diary you just call that one the playbook it's like holy shit what are we doing on third and four long ball to the fucking whiteout he's running streaks what else you got movie wise I figured you guys have some more to interject here i didn't really have movies trying to think of what name uh what's a time traveler's wife that's it i just thought of something that one's just getting away from my wife wait no we had a good one for we had a good one for no strings attached you're like dream jackpot my, dream girl? Jackpot? My dream girl? Friends with benefits? I'm like, friends with benefits is my girlfriend. Yeah, friends with benefits is just gaslighting her. The best stage.

Friends with benefits, gaslighting 101. Gaslighting 305. The beginning of the end. Oh, I love these. I think we could come back with this as, I think this is more, or Ted is just like, I love these. I think we could come back with this as, I think this is more, or Ted is just like, I need another friend.

Ted is, this could be broad. Ted is, I'd rather be friends with a doll than a girl. This could be broad, just renaming anything. But I would like to bring it as more of a educational segment than, you know, it's obviously is funny,

but we're trying to help out the youth here. Oh, that wasn't supposed to be funny. Yeah. We're just trying to help out the boys. We're trying to get them dialed in here. We're trying to help out the youth here oh you that wasn't supposed to be funny yeah that's real we're just trying to help out the boys we're trying to get them dialed in here we're about to gang if you tell me you're going on a field meal later yeah you're good meal is my favorite one that one rips dude i'd had to do some heavy synonym fucking sounds like what sounds like yeah i love doing those i had to do so much for that you busted out of the source i had to do fucking word or food synonym fucking bunch of different things, dude.

But we got there. I got a couple of quick games for you guys. Outside of the main game. Okay. So, okay. The premise of this is. It's you versus Garrett. The first one to complete this doesn't die.

Who throws a baseball faster? That's good. The first one to complete this doesn't die. Who throws a baseball faster? That's good. The first one to complete this doesn't die, though. The first one to complete this doesn't die. Yes. The choice is become completely ambidextrous or learn a foreign language, excluding Spanish. Because Garrett's pretty good at Spanish already.

I'd become ambidextrous in three hours. What do you think the test would be for becoming completely ambidextrous? Write a full sentence. I think it would be you could throw a football just as far as with your right hand. I bet I could throw a baseball as far left-handed as Morgan could throw right. I bet I could throw a baseball further than you. Left-handed? No, you can't.

I could throw a baseball further than you, I bet. Here we go again. How does that make sense if it doesn't go faster off the hand? How could it go further? We don't know that it doesn't go faster off the hand yeah we do so you guys you guys are both going to ambi can we can we do that can we do that you guys we have the baseball bead no no we do have the baseball i'm just saying wait can we can we commit to this 100 how in what are we throwing on it i want in and out burger sure all right how in your mind does it make sense that if i can throw it faster than you that it wouldn't travel further because we don't know that you're throwing 60 feet we do we do know

shut up because i throw gas by all the metrics we have available to us i only registered one or two of them that's such a cap which is your own and one of them i was just trying to throw it straight because it wasn't going straight none of none of no you registered like 10 i did like for myself on both of you i think a prerequisite to this if you're going to go with that argument would be that you have to be able to throw a baseball within of like a 10 meter radius okay so let's say i mean we had a way to measure this like this like a shot i'm saying for the speed his argument for the speed thing is that he couldn't throw it straight enough that on its own is bad is worse but we have a new thing. We could test this.

Okay, we'll definitely go to the same field, throw it from home plate, and see who throws it further. Yeah, that's easy money. I'll fucking hook it over the fence. I'll go over just one of those wheels that you measure out the yardage with. Okay.

No, we'll just see which one. No, no bats. What if one person throws it way right and way left? I'm not going to know. It has to be within the field. Yeah, it has to be within the field. That's a good rule. That's easy. All right right you guys are both going to ambi though on that how long do you think it would take you to be actual ambidextrous

i think that's harder than learning a language i tried it for 10 minutes today like eating my food cooking with this beating off count could i throw a nasty one with no because i've been doing that for years i'm a lefty guy stranger i've been doing it for strangers right i wanted to get so i'm more estranged to my right yeah but it's battle to the death yeah yeah it has to be what well the the metric of gauging fluent in a language versus ambidextrous has to be like fluent like fluent in a language versus ambidextrous has to be... You have to be able to eat with it, write with it, throw with it, do every single thing. Like any task, like brush your teeth,

everything has to be lefty and it has to look right. I don't know if you ever tried to brush your teeth lefty and you look like a fucking idiot. I've tried to do it a couple times just because I heard it fucking changed your brain. I think it would be easier to become ambidextrous because you could just do everyday tasks with your left hand

instead of having to sit down and study a language. And while you're doing that, I'm fucking Mao Zedong. I'm learning Spanish or Japanese with my left hand. I'm fucking Ni Hao in your ass. You're reading with your left. You're just fucking under the words. Wait, did you guys know fucking, I don't know if you had a left-handed friend,

but when they write, their hand gets covered in fucking pencil eli's left-handed fucking stupid dude or actually he's both if they're if they're an ape and they don't know how to like maneuver around that i feel like i know like left-handed girls that never happened well yeah that's a guy thing a guy would be guys no i hugged that paper dude i'm a thousand words in that thing in three minutes dude thousand words every three minutes i like that's doable they also hold a pencil from like the eraser and they're just like beautifully like calligraphizing everything yeah casting spells wizardry yeah dude to put a fucking wand and fucking hermione great example yeah would you first try wingardium fucking your lefty that's easy yeah she's casting that's how that's how we know you give both of us a wand

who could fucking make something fly can Who can get magic going first? That's the test. Okay, here's the other one. It's a choose your superpower. Okay. Morg-esque on this one. I have one of these, actually. I knew you were going to, and I've thought of it.

This is an either or. Choose your superpower. The plug is always up, or literally everything Superman has. Oh, who wins battle to the death? Superman because I fly to the plug. He's not awake though. And beat the fuck out of him. He's not awake.

I don't care. I'll bust through his walls and steal his fucking stash. That's a really good way around it. Yeah, fuck that. You can just fly through everybody's house and who has it? Where's the fucking bag? You just mug people. No, I don't even need to ask.

I'll just be like laser vision. You can see through walls and hear super well yeah you just hit a three here the sniffs and you can see them in the stalls yeah you hit a 360 laser off everybody's roofs and you're just like who fucking has it yeah i like that's easy superman should we you just go like i don't want the bag yeah dude i'm telling you i'm just neighbor's house's roof off where's the bag i'm, dude, I'm telling you. I'm just neighbor's house. There's a roof off. Where's the bag? I'm just literally going to be like, I'm going to literally brick by brick demolish your home until you find me a bag.

Yeah. You don't know where it is? It turns out the couch is thrown. And everyone's like, you're in your own house. Please stop. And I'm like, no, find the bag. I like that.

I figured there was an easy way around this one, but I felt like it was going to be a little harder to get there. If I had one more drink, that would have been the hardest question ever all right that's it that's it for the easy games okay um i had on i had another superpower one okay this is just the improbable superpowers would you rather so immediately give people hangovers oh like mean superpowers no but they're not all mean okay super shrink their clothes this works in a couple different ways okay meal swap or shit their pants you're gonna have those are all mean you have to run all those back

okay so meal swap would be like john's eating in and out and i'm like fuck off and he's just like oh i just had rice 30 minutes this would be really good to have if you were in like middle school when someone has like like they come to school with McDonald's and you're sitting there fucking they had a doctor's appointment that morning you're like fuck you you're with a peanut butter and jelly and regular lays exactly

think you're better than me I hope the cancer is there you better be sick as fuck shit their pants is straightforward yeah i think we got that one um immediately give people hangovers that's just that's that's something i wouldn't wish that's one of the meanest things i wouldn't wish i wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy to be honest like someone's you not someone's just being a real fucking little yeah that'd be good for like driving you if you were in a

fight snap they're enough yeah that's I'm saying over be like you don't need to touch them just be like oh what's wrong you need some water or your head hood throw a pediolite at their fucking head and walk away just all the time yeah well that would be good too cuz you could instant hang over you and I'm just like you know Gatorade I'm essentially your best friend or like somebody's being a bitch when you're hungover or like cleaning or something and you're just like fuck off that's a good one I like that

and then the super shrink their clothes is just oh you're a bitch right now what? say that slower super shrink their clothes so it also works for so basically if I put on your shirt right now. Just take their clothes off?

No, no, no, no. Like smaller size. But it also works for... Girls. Yeah, okay. Super shrink a titty shirt. Still lost on this one. Well, don't pick it.

Well, help me. Help me understand it. So if I were a single man and a girl had a shirt on and she had some puppies on her... Super shrink. Yeah. Don't pick it. Well, help me. Help me understand it. So, if I were a single man, and a girl had a shirt on, and she had some puppies on her. Super shrink. Yeah. They said super shrink.

I was like, what does that mean? Super strength their clothes. They have super strong clothes. All of a sudden, I'm like, well, that doesn't work for girls. No, I don't want them with super strong clothes. Which would be another good one. Super shrink their clothes.

So, it works for dudes. Like, you're being a fucking asshole, fucking you'll take a bitch immediately. Yeah. So, we got hangovers, clothes, meal swap, or sugar pants. I think so it works for dudes like you're being a fucking asshole fucking you'll take a bitch immediately. Yeah So we got hangovers clothes meal swap or sugar pants hangovers untouchable, but so is shitting your okay? It's the shit. Here's the part of hangover. I don't think we've hit is that making them instantly shit their pants is worse Yeah, cuz they're not They're like some guys just being an absolute fucking asshole in In the middle of the club, he's not just like,

oh, I'm hungover, I'm going to stop. You could make him have a headache or you could make him fucking duke his shorts out. And everyone hates him. Yeah, I like shitting his pants. Because that's just like... I could tough out a hangover. I can't tough out a shit.

It would be so much better with a cunty girl too if you're just like, shit your pants. It's leaking out of their fucking bikini. Yeah, that is a good one for chicks. It's tough to not pick shit your pants. I think I'm going to have to like shit your pants oh it's leaking out of that leaking out of their fucking bikini yeah that is a good one for chicks it's tough to not picture your pants i think i'm gonna have to go shit i'm going shit your pants shit your pants let's shit their pants okay hangovers would be fun for you guys for your close friends yeah if shit your pants wasn't on the table like he's fucking imagine your friends hung over in bed and you make him shit your pants on top of that he's already hung over that's the most game over but bed and you make him shit your pants on top of that. He's already hungover. That's the most game over.

Oh, you want some water? Shit your pants. But this would be fun if one of your friends is being super productive. They just took some Adderall or something. I'm just like, no, fucking hungover, bitch. I'd ease that on you, dude. Someone comes to you on a Thursday. You went out on Wednesday night and they're like, oh, dude, wow.

Do whatever you want, obviously. Hungover, fuck you. We both went out last night yeah because like you could just it's just like a quick you're just fucked like it's not too over the top it's just it's just a fun one are you guys ready for the game uh the mind game the mind game i just want to i look, look. This is going to make me happy. Okay, let's do it. So, I'm going to give, I don't know which one's in which. You guys go. Oh, this is fun.

Oh, shit. Okay, so this is. We should face each other for this, right? Yeah, well, just don't let them see inside the box. So, this is called the pumpkin game. In one of these boxes is a pumpkin. You want the pumpkin game. In one of these boxes is a pumpkin. You want the pumpkin. One of you gets to look and see what's in your box.

The other person gets to decide whether they want to switch the boxes. Okay? You got the rules? Decide amongst yourselves how you want that to work. I mean, we're not going to decide who goes. You want, okay. Do we rock, paper, scissors? Yeah, rock, paper, scissors. What do you think is the most valuable?

Knowing which one's in which. Okay. What are we doing? One, two, shoot. No, it's rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors. Okay. Okay.

So you get to look. Soary gets to look and see what's in his box and then more gets to decide whether or not he wants to switch the boxes you don't you don't get to look you don't get to look only he gets to look oh why would you both get to look then you know so that you can do some gamesmanship here what's here is going for a complete blind play do you want to switch the boxes well garrett what do you have in your box yeah what do you have i'm cool i'm cool with my box he wants to keep his box i know what i'm doing i could tell by his face okay so which way are

you gonna go i keep my box you're gonna keep your box and you're sticking with that i'm perfectly fine with that he's perfectly fine with you does that change your answer at all i guess open your boxes i got the pumpkin bitch get fucked kid oh i love, I love that. I love that. You're my son. I kind of want to do it again, but we can't mix it up right now. Here we go again. We'll turn around and you mix it up and you hand it back. Should I? Okay, okay. Turn. Close it. Look. Don't look.

I don't even want to know. I wouldn't know if it was in my hand and I handed it to you. Alright. I don't even want to know. I wouldn't know if it was in my hand and I handed it to you. All right. That's the pumpkin. It's heavier. I almost put a pumpkin in the box. All right, you want to switch it up this time? Morg's got to open it.

You get to decide. No. Okay. No, we have to switch it. Yeah, you got to switch it. You got to switch it. Switch the rules. Why? I don't know. I just feel like to switch it. Yeah, you got to switch it. You got to switch it. Switch the rules. Why? More, I don't know.

I just feel like it feels good. I won. Look in your box. I don't want to. No, you have to. No, I don't. It's for the game, for the game. No, I don't have to. For the game, for the game.

No, let him not. Let him be a cop. No, no, no. For the game, for the game. No, I don't. Because then it's just purely, it's purely just chance. It's 50-50 at that point. Morg, do you, what, what do you want to switch the box what do you want I stand by what I

said I just looked before okay so you guys are keeping it at 50 50 mind game I thought there was gonna be some debauchery in the mentalness here well I feel like it's you could you could give the wrong idea either way it's a tough yeah tough game to navigate. Okay. I want to switch.

Switch them. Open your boxes. Bitch. See, I knew I had the pumpkin. Why'd you fuck with me? Huh? I knew I had it, dude. I know.

It was heavier. I almost put something in one of them. That would have been nice. Okay, okay. I thought there was going to be a little more debauchery in there. Well, I think there has to be more stakes because this is like a mr beast thing right where there's like a hundred grand in it okay so if i put some money on it yeah okay there's one dollar in there we would have been battling well there's so many angles to it right if you look at it and look excited even though you're faking right that

looks fake and then if you but i mean if you and you say, oh, I'm cool with keeping or I'm cool with switching, there's no real angle. The other person is going to just do what they want. There does need to be some stakes on it, huh? Yeah, your life. Like for $100,000. But you fucked it for me. He wasn't going to switch before.

Put $20 in there. Let's try it again. You want to do it for $20? This one's for $20. Will it change it? I think it will. Okay. Well, now we've had practice. Shake 100 shake on 100 100 now it's 20 20 20 20 no no you're staking the 20 i'm staking the 20 yeah so what is there to lose for either of you well there's 20 to win

wait does it even make it more about this you guys switch it? You guys switch it. Garrett, you switch it up. I'll do it with Mark for $20. $20. $20. Let me think of if that even makes it work. $20. Does that even make it work? Well, I would want it to work more. Well, you've had practice. Just win $20 if you're that good. What would that make it work

is you wouldn't be willing to not look and leave it completely up to chance. You, you wouldn't have said, I don't even care if I look. But how would you change the other person's mind? You could. You're going to see right now. Use your tactics.

You're going to see. Let's see right now. Okay. Hand the boxes out. Can I look? I have no idea which one's which. No, because then I feel like that'll influence it. Do you want to look or do you want to not look? I have no idea which one's which. No. Because then I feel like that'll influence it. Do you want to look or do you want to not look?

No, rock, paper, scissors. Gentlemen. We do one, two, shoot? No, I just want to know which one you think is... Rock, paper, scissors. I want to know which one you think is more beneficial and then I'll let you have that one. Because I think I'm better than you.

Mentally. I'll do... Do you want to switch or do you want to switch or you want to look I'll do the switch you want to do a switch mm-hmm He's got nothing please switch it Because He's got nothing. Please switch it. Because there's no pumpkin in this box, and I want you to have the one without the pumpkin for $20. He's donating $20 to you. I know how important it would be to... Actually, no, don't switch it.

See, this is what should have happened. Okay, here's the deal. I know what's in here. It's $20. And whoever ends up with this gets the money. Don't switch it. But you should switch it if you want the money. If you don't want to pay me,

I feel like you owe me 20 bucks anyway. So you should switch it. But here's the thing. You could easily just go with, you know, whatever you want, which is, you know, you're sitting there saying, it doesn't really matter either way, right? But to me

twenty dollars feels pretty good outside of just the mental battle of beating you so switch it if you want to win and if you don't want to win don't switch it or do switch it you have it you got clapped i knew i fucking had you oh that's easy but i said i knew i had it as he thanks for 20 bucks son of a bitch you throw a baseball so fast and you also know when you're the smartest guy and you throw the ball so hard you're good at this game in the world thanks for that 20 bucks that's the easiest 20 i've ever made in my life at this point i honestly think i could beat him at basketball one-on-one i think that's do it do it please bring a radar gun in what world do you think did you think you were ever going to

win that vape me like did you meant well i had it from the start did you mentally think that you had it from the start then why'd you switch it huh babe because you're a gaslighting whore so that's what so you just let you're admitting he's a better man than no i'm better at why did you hand it over if you knew you why did you give me the money because i know you need the money no see that's zero income i already told you i already told you i already prefaced it with you don't need to give me the money i don't need the money it's a fucking gas i'm not gonna give you the money then why did you give it to me you should have won and then given in the money if you knew.

All right. Well, that was my favorite game ever. Get mentally berated. What else we got for this week? You little sluts. How do you think girls game plan their poops? Strategically. Yes.

No, like so much more strategic than we think like grossly strategically like do you think like is holding it a very high priority or how does it yeah holding is the number one move all the time i think yeah i'm not they don't fart that off usually if you're holding it here's i'm not even kidding like when like am i asleep because there's been so many times where i'm like they're definitely asleep. Do they only shit sleep? Let me say this as my point of reference. My mom poops twice a week. Let me say this for my point of reference.

My dad, to this day, says he's never once even had a hunch that my mom was pooping. Me neither. With my chick. And me living with my mom as well. And they do it. One time she did get me pretty bad no but like what do you mean she got so like my okay you think my dad don't go in there she could get away with she get away with my dad not not discovering her shitting right when they're living alone over 30 years of marriage 30 years marriage imagine having three kids one of them being me and she should i still never once even thought

she was shitting you were a shit baby i think it's something it's got to be like they turn the blow dryer on like i know i think it's even more than that i think it's like think of the way that a girl would go about cheating like the amount of the amount of layers they'd put into like lying about it like oh i'm gonna go meet my friends for a drink blah blah whatever it is add some other stuff oh it's like they throw in a bunch of other details like oh it's her going away party for work blah blah for pooping i think it's the same thing i think they say oh i've got to go run some errands i was they only poop a trader joe i was gonna say you think they exclusively poop in public? Because I've had three and a half girlfriends.

A good half. Not one of them did I think... The half was my high school girlfriend, for the record. Oh, I thought it was this one. That's why we don't let her in the fucking house. No, the half was my high school girlfriend. Yeah, I know. Who's you're dating now?

No, that's not who I school girlfriend. Yeah, I know. It's a joke. Who's you're dating now? No, that's not who I'm dating. Okay, okay. But like not once did I suspect any of them shitting or my mother or any girl I've ever known. I lived with a little sister. I know she dropped some nukes. Wait, is this why they love Target? Target has good bathrooms.

That could be it. And Trader Joe's. They love Target and Trader Joe's. That's Aaron's. Aaron's. They only shit when they go on errands. I've legitimately spent like four days in one place with this human being and never even thought that they were shitting.

It's got to be shower. They have a secret alarm that wakes them up at 3 a.m. They shit in the shower. They smash it down. No, no, no, no, no. Because you've gone in. I've gone in after one of you guys have showered. You know it steams it up it makes it worse yeah it's thick it's sticky in there yeah it's a hard no if you shit that's your shower it's like uh it's like the shit you

put on a baseball it's like uh tar tar or fucking stick them in football it's that one of those things you feel it on your skin. It's like when you put on mosquito stuff. Bug spray is brutal. Bug spray, yeah. It's like putting humidity on your skin. Yeah. I think they all have passed down tactics that are just above our knowledge.

It's as soon as- They might, for all we know, shit in the woods. Yeah. There's not even any woods in San Diego. As soon as a girl gets above diaper train, their mom tells them. we know like shit in the woods yeah i think there's not even any woods in san diego as soon as a girl gets above diaper train their mom tells them what if there's a device that we don't know about there could be explain or what if it's like you ever seen the movie envy no it's with jack black it's actually really funny i think it's jack black and ben stiller and it's about this guy they

live in this like super modest neighborhood. They're all broke. And Jack Black invents this spray that you spray on dog shit that just evaporates it. And they're like, it's called Envy because his whole life he's just like

this idiot, this bumbling idiot just invented like this billion dollar product that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. But what if it's that simple? I think's personally i think that they can they can hold it until they also eat so much less i think no i think they hold it until it turns into pee yes that's what it is they hold it that is That is what it is. It's very simple. It's so much simpler. Have you ever held?

What's the longest you ever hold a poop? Like four hours? Long enough for it to turn into pee. Not long. No, not long enough. Not long enough. Yeah. We don't know because we can't hold enough because it's so bad. Oh, maybe we just never gone to that realm.

Yeah. It's like shit. Think about what happens if you hold it. Maybe that's what periods are. You just hold up your shit for fucking a month and then you bleed it out. We just solved it, folks. Tell me we're not highbrow here at the no fomo podcast that's what it is like oh i'm releasing eggs no you're releasing months worth of shit and it comes out as blood no i have to clap yeah let's go come on come on come on holy fuck wow folks Wow No That was too good Woo I think we have to

Take it out on that We gotta take it out We gotta ride that high Well when you just Thanks for tuning in Yeah The most The smartest podcast

On the planet Dude we said it from day one I knew we were smart Folks Wow Yeah Period is just Month long shit

That's the episode title Yep Right there Please don't do that Okay I won't I won't Alright We solved periods That was 62 What it do What it do We love you all Period is just month-long shit. That's the episode title. Yep. Right there. No, please don't do that. Okay, I won't. I won't. All right. We solved periods.

That was 62. What'd it do? What'd it do? We love you all, if you're still listening somehow. We might have a special guest by the time you hear our next episode. Yeah.

Special. We'll see you next Friday. Do you want to keep it special? No, we'll keep it special. We'll keep it special. We'll see you next Friday, folks. On God's... Lit.