No Judgment Zone: Exploring Pleasure and Healing - Pleasure is the Anchor in Life's Storms

Episode Date: July 25, 2025

When life feels like too much, pleasure becomes more than a luxury—it becomes a lifeline. In this heart-centered, soulful episode, your favorite sensual nurse gets real about exhaustion, overwhelm, and the silent storms so many of us are navigating. This isn’t your typical pleasure talk. Today, we explore how pleasure can serve as both your compass, guiding you towards alignment, and your anchor, keeping you grounded when everything feels like it’s falling apart.Let this episode feel like a warm hug, a breath of fresh air, and a reminder to come back home to yourself.✨ Why your body knows before your brain does✨ How to stop living for others and choose you✨ What it means to let pleasure hold you when life gets heavyYou don’t need to earn softness.You don’t need to justify your peace.You deserve pleasure—even in the storm.🎧 Tap play. Take a breath. Come back home.#NoJudgmentZonePodcast | #Episode6 | #YouDeservePleasure

Welcome back to No Judgment Zone, where your favorite sensual nurse meets you exactly where you are. Raw, real, and rooted in truth. Today's episode is less about the hype and more about the heart. A lot of us are in a season where we're navigating silent storms, feeling overwhelmed, stretched thin, and maybe even questioning what the hell we're doing it all for. If that's you, I see you and I feel you. This particular episode is where the person who's tired but still showing up, where the person who's unsure but still moving,

where the person who's done everything for everyone else and is slowly realizing it's time to come back home to self. Because sometimes pleasure isn't the spark of life. It's the anchor. It's the thing that holds us steady when life gets chaotic. So today, we're talking about how pleasure, presence, and inner alignment can guide you, not just in your joy, but also help you navigate through your pain. So when I was thinking about this topic, one of the things that really stuck out to me is pleasure is both a compass and an anchor. and the reason why I say that is a compass points you in the direction you're meant to go so in your life your intuition your joy your body's wisdom those things act as internal compasses and it was a sound bath that I went to recently um and one of the ladies asked a question like you know essentially along the lines of how do I go about my journey

and when it came to that question when I thought about my own personal journey my own healing at the end of the day you explore the things that you were drawn to you explore the things that you are curious about you explore the things that bring you pleasure that expands your mind and over time you find what works for you you find what you find what you know you find what you need in that particular time because once you open yourself up once you say hey i want to see more i want to know me more life is going to present those opportunities for you to do just that but you have to be open to it and you have to be ready for it so when you see the opportunity you can recognize it for exactly what it is and even if you don't know exactly what it is you just have this feeling of

i want to be here i'm curious about that let let me see what's going or. And as you do that, when you put yourself in these spaces more and more often, then you learn more. You get more tools, more resources. You're able to network and find other places that will help you along in your journey. So pleasure, your life's compass is how you know what aligns and what doesn't. And it's not always mentally. It doesn't always fit logic. Sometimes you just fit it emotionally. You just feel I'm at peace when I'm here. I'm at peace when I talk about this. Yeah, my problems are still there, but spiritually I feel like I'm going to be okay. And even how it feels in your body when your shoulders just relax, you can actually take a deep breath and

you didn't realize that you've been holding your breath for so long. That's what alignment feels like if you ever feel dread hesitation or just tightness that's your compass that is your body that is your intuition saying hold on i don't know about this let's think it through it may be a no it may be a oh hell no or it could just be a let's investigate a little bit further if you feel butterflies warmth, a sense of inner clarity or lightness, that's your compass saying, this is a go. I think we might like this. This feels like it may be in alignment. Pleasure can be our compass as we go through life. The things that we are attracted to, the things that feed us, the things that nourish us, it guides us in the path in which we should go.

Now, as far as an anchor, how can pleasure be an anchor? Well, if you think about the big ships on the ocean and when it gets stormy and they throw the big anchor overboard, that anchor grounds you. It centers you and it keeps you from drifting when life gets overwhelming. Pleasure is not just fun. it can be medicine a lifeline or even a return to self have you ever just felt so down and out and just depressed and it's just like god this cannot be life and then you remember that you accepted an invite like a month ago and you want to cancel but now at this point it's literally the day of and that would be so big

head. So you're like, you know what? I'm going to go ahead and go. It's with my people. I know I'm going to have a good time. I don't feel like it all the way, but, you know, even if I just go and show my face and say, hey, I got to leave early. And you go and you have the best time of your life. You are laughing. You are having fun. You forget everything that you're going through. It's like and exhale. And it's like, damn, I'm glad I went. And it just recalibrates your whole mind. It recalibrates your focus that, okay, I'm just going through a dark time, but it doesn't

mean that my life is dark because that moment of pleasure shone so brightly. In the middle of chaos is often the smallest things that bring you back. A breath. A moment of softness or kindness. from someone or just a reminder of what it feels like to feel good in your own body and feeling good could be something as innocent and simple as taking a walk in the park feeling the sun shining on your skin the wind kissing your face the sound of the leaves wrestling or the birds singing and just remembering that there is more to life and you are not a victim, you can choose what you want in this lifetime.

Or it can be as erotic and free as an intimate, safe, BDSM with your partner, blindfold, handcuffs, and you're forced to do nothing but experience pleasure. and say more please and thank you. Even in that moment, you remember pleasure is still attainable. You are still safe. And in life, there is still hope. So the reality of what we may be going through. As human beings, our life now is not just the basic necessities to sustain life. We're not waking up, tending to the fields, the animals, harvesting, cooking, cleaning,

making sure the kids are okay, teaching them life things, and then going to bed and waking up and doing it again. That is not what life consists of at all. And even then people had community, they had family, everyone was close. Now we have to carry so much emotionally, financially, spiritually, relationally, and there's deadlines and there's no let up and you just got to keep going and going and going.

It is okay to be tired. It's okay to not even know exactly how you're feeling or what is going on. And it's definitely okay to not want to be on or perform all the time and you just want to be to just melt in the couch or in the bed. and just be no alarms no to-do list just breathe eat sleep and joy i fully understand how that feels

this episode was supposed to be in tune with the new moon last night supposed to be fun was supposed to be spiritual about manifestation and masturbation and feeling your best and going after everything that you want. But I didn't feel that way. I didn't even want to record. I work full time. I'm co-parenting. I'm in a new relationship.

I'm in school. I'm working on this new business venture of a podcast. Navigating things going on in my family and my personal life. Showing up for others. It's a lot going on. It's a lot to juggle. And having to do something every single day, eventually that shit adds up. That makes me want to stay in my room, in my bed, for at least three days straight and only come out to eat.

Even then if DoorDash could come to the bedroom and be like, here you go, that would be perfect. So I get it. And instead of trying to force myself to be in this persona that I'm, I wasn't. It was a voice that told me if you're feeling this way and you know how we're all connected. Imagine how many other people are feeling this way and they're still showing up with a smile. They're still showing up being kind to people. They may not have that extra perk, but they're still showing up just like you. So I shifted.

I listened. And today we're taking our time. Today, we're sitting together and we're breathing. We're just being. That alone is pleasure. Pleasure isn't just sex. It's peace. It's silence.

It's soft music. pleasure is saying no when life gets hard we often push away the things that bring us peace and softness but that's exactly what we need the most that's why i started this podcast pleasure is not just a reward that you schedule in when you can it is absolutely a requirement that should be a part of your regular schedule pleasure reminds us that we're alive. And when life feels like it's pulling you under, it's pleasure that can keep you from drowning. When you're going through something heavy and that need to be around the people who pour back into you, that need to talk to people who get you, who understand you,

who love you, who support you, that's your body looking for pleasure. you're looking for comfort, looking for peace. Because if all you're doing is carrying heavy lows from point A to point B, point B to point C, and you're just going and it's just heavy, that is draining, that is exhausting. And it's easy to start to feel like that's all that life has to offer. But those moments of pleasure remind you that there's more. it reminds you of the positive feelings that you can feel. One of the things that I mentioned, and I want to say maybe the first episode,

definitely an earlier episode, is that people pleasing will kill you. You got to stop living your life according to what other people are going to say and think. Correction. Stop living your life based on what you think other people are going to say. and think. You need to start asking yourself, am I making this decision? Am I doing this?

Am I living this way? Because I want to. Or do I feel like I'm obligated to do it? And whatever is in alignment with you, whatever your truth is, I need you to stand 10 toes on it even if don't nobody else rock with you. I need you to be so fucking sure

that this is you, this is what you want, this is what you need. So if literally not another single person gets it, you're okay with that. Because even in a relationship, nobody else is going to feel what you feel 100%. Your person may be there to support you. Your person may understand everything that's going on. but that heaviness that exhaustion exactly how it wears down on your brain and on your heart and on your body nobody feels that but you so there may be times where you're going to have to say baby i know you may not get it i know you may not understand it but this is what i need and hopefully that person is emotionally

intelligent enough supportive enough to say okay i got you I want you to be your best as well. So let's get it. Whatever you need, I'm down for it. You don't owe anyone a version of yourself that betrays your soul. And peace comes when your choices reflect your truth. Please let that sink in. If you have to betray yourself to make someone else,

comfortable, that decision is a no-go, and that person is a no-go. Because when you can own your truth, when you can say these are the choices I made, this is how it made me feel and I'm cool with it, what can anybody else do? What can anybody else say? There's no power. It may suck, yeah, but in the day, there's still a measure of peace, joy, and happiness that you retained because you honored you and you know it can only work out for the best. That's part of the anxiety when we betray ourselves is we don't really, we know even if this decision works out, it's not in the direction that I wanted to work out in. So it's like a lose lose situation.

Versus if this is something that I am 100% sure of and this is all for me, If it works out, great. I'm closer to the life that I want. I'm closer to the person that I want. And if it doesn't, I still honored myself in the process. You don't owe anyone a version of you that betrays your soul. And peace comes when your choices reflect your truth. And for some people who may be new on their journey, but how do you know?

how do you know if it's fear how do you know if it's alignment but you're just uncomfortable this is when you have to learn to listen to your body the body always speaks it always speaks this excuse me this is the principle behind meditation and mindful moments if you can recognize how your body feels during rest when there's no stimulation. There's no sadness, there's no anger, there's no anxiety. You are literally just being and breathing. And you notice how that feels in your body. You notice how it feels when your shoulders drops, when you're able to take a deep breath from your belly, when your jaw relaxes, when the muscles in your stomach relax. When you get familiar with what that feels like,

then it's easier to notice when you are not in that state. It's easier to notice when your body tenses up and you start having short, shallow breaths because you're nervous, because you're uncomfortable. You'll start noticing the situations that make your shoulders tighten up and tense up because you're stressed. When your jaw tightens up because you're uncomfortable, then you feel like you have to present a certain way

or not able to be yourself. You'll start noticing those things because you know what it feels like to be the opposite. You'll notice when you get nauseous around an idea or a person, when you get butterflies and it's true excitement or even lightness. One of the things I absolutely enjoyed about my person even before we committed to each other was when I hugged him and he held me the way my body just melted and it wasn't emotional

it wasn't sexual it was a release it was safety him hugging me I got you and you don't have to be anything but yourself here. And I can relax into that. So you'll notice when you are intentional about listening to your body, you'll notice the signs that it gives you. There are certain people. I may meet them for the very first time, but there's a gut feeling.

It's like my stomach tenses, just ever so slightly. That's like a, we don't trust them. There's something off about that. character. I may know nothing about this person, y'all, but I know how many times I have tried to rationalize that away. How many times I have said, you don't even know this person. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Oh, we're just uncomfortable because they're new and it has blown up in my fucking face. So I don't do that no more. I'm not mean. I'm not like, what's your story? Because my somebody saying something off about you. You don't have to present like that, but it's just you know

and you protect yourself. So I'm friendly, I'm cordial, whatever the relationship calls for, whether it's business networking, you know, a mutual friend or whatever the case may be. However, my body is telling me you're not my safe place. And I listen to that. I honor that. So don't ignore your gut feelings. When you're making a decision, check in with yourself. Does this feel expansive? Like, does this feel like I have room to grow? Does this feel like this fits the version of me that I want to be? Or does it feel restrictive? Do I feel like I have to play a smaller role than who I really have? Do I feel like I have to give up a part of myself, part of my own? Part of my dreams in order to maintain this your body will tell you before your brain catches up you have to learn

to trust that when people say i always make bad decisions in love i'm never going to date again what you're saying is you are never going to learn to trust yourself you're never going to learn yourself you're never going to learn the lessons that you've been through you're never going to work on the relationship with yourself and you're never going to develop that trust so because you inherently know that you can't trust you you now project that to you can't trust anybody else the relationship with self is very important y'all your relationship with pleasure is very important how you relate to you is how you're able to relate to others. How you create moments of pleasure and joy is how you make decisions that allow you to create a life of pleasure and joy. I hope y'all are getting that. Those are the recurring themes of

everything that I have to say. When you see parents who are overwhelmed and frustrated and snappy and short with their kids, they're overwhelmed and frustrated. They're overwhelmed and frustrated with themselves in their own life. They don't have moments of pleasure, so their kids having pleasure sometimes bothers them. So your child being too loud and the noise of them laughing irritates your soul because you feel like you can't have those moments subconsciously. But when you're not just working and stressing over bills and life and you actually are able to have fun yourself, you're able to play with your inner child, when you see your child

playing, it brings a smile to your face. You're able to play with them because of the relationship that you have with yourself. If you are able to speak up for, curate, plan for your pleasure, then you would choose a job that balances that. You will choose a job that allows you to continue to do that. So you won't feel burnt out. You won't feel exhausted. You won't feel exhausted. You You'll have those moments of rest. You'll have those moments of pleasure because that's important to you. And because that's important, that's how you make your decisions. Because that's how you make your decisions and that is how your life will look.

It starts with the very, very little minute things and it ripples outward and greater. Nowadays, everybody is on affirmations. do you understand the way that you talk to yourself in your mind becomes your standard it becomes what you expect what you look for how you move what you accept so when you see people being called stupid and ugly and they joke and they say that about themselves that opens the door for other people to treat them that way that opens a door for narcissistic partners for abusive partners, for partners who don't respect or value. And that's what your dating life reflects.

But when you have a certain standard on how you treat yourself, nobody coming into your space can treat you any less. And that sets a certain standard. That's why women are labeled high maintenance because they maintain themselves. So for a man to approach them, he has to meet them or do more. If you meet a woman, she's getting her hair done, her nails done, massage, housekeeper, car detailed. She does all of these things for herself to maintain sanity, to maintain her softness. What do you think you have to do to approach her?

To capture her eye to impress her. It's going to have to be at that level or how. higher. And for some people, that's above their energy budget. For some, it may be above their financial budget. How you treat yourself and your relationship with pleasure determines everything else in your life. So you need to create daily rituals, even if it's just five minutes for you to be with you. For me, that very first act of being with myself was journaling, just seeing myself witnessing my emotions and my thoughts without judging. It was journaling. And then the way that I journaled, like, I would start off, you know, this is what I did today. This is how I'm feeling.

And literally whatever came up, I would write. I wouldn't, probably. I wouldn't stop. I would just write. Every thought that came to my mind I would write. And in writing, I would be able to unravel the deeper emotion or the deeper thought. And then it gets to a moment where I realized the words that just flew through my mind and into my hand and on the paper. And I'm like, damn, this is the root of what I'm feeling. This is what I need to address. I realized I wasn't depressed and unhappy with my life because I felt, fulfilled. I was depressed and unhappy because I wasn't making moment, making time for pleasure. I wasn't enjoying the fruits of my labor. I was clocking in to work for my employer and then

clocking in to work for my husband and then clocking in to work for my kids and then clocking in to work for my friends. Clocking in to work for my family. When did I clock in for me? So find time daily where it's just you and you. It could be journaling. It could be simply doing breath work. Breathe in for four counts. Hold it. For four.

Breathe out for four counts. Hold it. For four. Box breathing. You can start off doing that four. four times, gradually increase the time that you spend in breathwork. You can create a ritual out of an everyday thing. When you moisturize your skin, whether it's baby oil, coconut oil,

shay butter, lotion, body cream, vaseline, whatever you use, take your time express gratitude and love one of the things that i realized when i started getting massages is how often are we touched when we're not needed especially as a parent your kids are hugging you and kissing you and touching on you and it's just like what do you want get away from me i do i get overstimulated easily because sometimes it's another obligation your partner touches you as much as you love them and you do want them and you desire them it's still with an expectation attached sometimes shaking hands can be very um emotionless there's no interchange a hug could be

performative. But when are you touched simply to nourish? When you are putting lotion, rub yourself slowly. Look at your skin. Look at the shine when it's fed properly. And know that as you were feeding your skin, you were feeding your soul and you are going to shine just as brightly. Be thankful. that your hands still work, and they're able to spread this moisture on your body. Be grateful for this leg and this thigh that you were rubbing that's able to support you in your day-to-day life. For my mama's rubbed in bellies with those beautiful stretch marks

that looks like the sun shining through water because, baby, you are radiant. You carried the miracle of love. life. That is beautiful. That is something some people cannot do in which they could. When you see those stretch marks, those are reminders of growth and change and life that has been lived. Appreciate the resilience not only of your skin, but of your heart, your mind, life itself. Sometimes just sit in silence for five minutes five minutes is not going to throw off your to do list it's not going to mess up any deadline five minutes just sit observe look at where you are how far you've come take a walk in the sun that could be to the mailbox you know trying to make it reasonable try to make it realistic

for an hour every day. But what is the little ways that you can honor you on a daily basis? Maybe find a playlist on your favorite music app that has intentional music, affirmational music, high vibrational music. These little acts add up. That's how you shift your reality over time. remember it's a ripple it can start off as a drop of water and it when you see those ripples you see how it starts small and it gets big and it gets big and it gets bigger and bigger and then it becomes so big that you can't even notice it because that's just the way that it is the way back to yourself doesn't have to be loud it can be soft simple and oh so sacred. And the smallest things, the way that you think inside your mind, something nobody else is

privy to, nobody else would know. It vibrates through your whole being. It shows how you treat yourself. And without ever communicating, it tells others how to treat you. And I'm not just saying fru-foo shit out of a book. This is what I have personally lived and experienced. Changing the mind changes your life. Opening up to the possibility of pleasure and the things that you actually want, you can actually have. You start to see them. And when you start to see them, you have the motivation to actually go for them. And when you have the motivation to go for them, you have the intentional actions behind it. And then the next thing you know, bitch, I'm living in my dream. I'm living in an answered prayer.

So today, we weren't talking about grinding, hustling, pushing ourselves, or being overproductive. Today is about pausing, asking yourself, what will feel good right now? And then whatever the answer is, allow yourself to receive just that. you are allowed to slow down you are allowed to choose you and you are allowed to find your way back again and again and again and as many times as you need using the things that make you feel alive

remember pleasure is not a luxury it's your birthright it is your birthright it is It is the anchor that keeps you steady through life storms. And it's the compass that will always guide you to the things that light up your soul. So until next time, this is your favorite sensual first checking out. And reminding you, you deserve softness. You deserve safety. You deserve self-devotion And baby, don't you ever fucking forget.

You deserve pleasure.