No Jumper - Chris D’Elia on Meeting Eminem with Poop Hands, Double P*netration Rights & More

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

Shout out to our Sponsor Shopify! Sign Up for $1 a month trial at http://shopify.com/nojumper Chris D’Elia talks about stand up, the rise of crowd work on Tiktok, beef with hecklers, David Lucas, Adam dating one of his exes, and more. ----- Get the latest news & videos http://nojumper.com CHECK OUT OUR ONLINE STORE!!! https://shop.nojumper.com/ NO JUMPER PATREON   / nojumper   CHECK OUT OUR NEW SPOTIFY PLAYLIST https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5te... Follow us on SNAPCHAT   / 4874336901   Follow us on SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/4z4yCTj... iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/n... Follow us on Social Media:   / 4874336901     / nojumper     / nojumper     / nojumper     / nojumper   JOIN THE DISCORD:   / discord   Follow Adam22:   / adam22     / adam22     / adam22   adam22hoe on Snapchat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So, okay, you want to know what happened to me in Puerto Rico? Okay. We stay at this hotel and we start to slowly realize that like a huge percentage of the people who are like hanging out by the pool and stuff do not stay at the hotel. They're paying like a fee to be able to use the premises, but they live in the area and they're mostly people who work in tech and software and whatnot. And they chose at some point primarily during the pandemic to move out there to basically save money on their taxes slash create this like, environment for their kids to be free and to be able to play with all these other kids and everything like that and once we start talking to people They're basically trying to like convert us to cult into moving to Puerto Rico And I'm not gonna lie it sounded pretty pretty tempting. Yeah sounded pretty good that's how they get you wait so they don't live in Puerto Rico

They do they live a mile or two away because like the actual premises of this shit is like extremely expensive The actual first person who started telling us this stuff was this girl that we're having a conversation with. This girl has 10 million followers on Instagram and literally lives in like a $10 million house in Puerto Rico and just to save money. She goes back to Miami every single weekend, Friday, Saturday, Sunday to get fucked up

and then flies back, recovers in Puerto Rico for the rest of the week. And then she goes back again on the weekend, gets loaded, comes right back. Is she going to die soon? So how does... She told me she pays 4% taxes. Yeah, yeah, that's crazy.

She'll be dead soon. But so she, that's not a life that ends well. But so she, what does she do? She doesn't even do like actual porn. She's just taking nudie photos. Sexy photos on only things. It's big business. Yeah.

Not even getting drilled. Yeah. It's wrong. Does she do skits? Maybe for promotion, but not that I saw her Instagram feed, very clean. Yeah. Yeah. Well, dude, there's enough people out there that'll pay for anything, honestly.

I mean, apparently she's found her. That's great. Because her house is so expensive. What about the Wi-Fi in Puerto Rico? I've heard it's problematic. The couple of YouTube videos that I watched about why you should or should not move to Puerto Rico for a tax haven status. Wi-Fi, very, very big one that was emphasized. That's going to be a problem for you.

The Wi-Fi is rough. I know, I was thinking that. It is? That's funny. I didn't know that. It's like in the Caribbean Sea, dude. I'm talking to taxi drivers. They're telling me that there's like a lot of traffic jams.

Shit gets shut down, big power blackouts, all kinds of stuff like that. All right. Well, the problem with all those places, I'm sorry, you're up cross. The problem with all those places, too, is that if the cab drivers and the hot dog vendors, if they get sick of it enough, like have enough Jake Paul's and $10 million Instagram girls come in, there's going to be a snap where they'll charge the mansions with machetes. That is possible. There's a movement there called Go Home Gringo.

Right. That's the name they came up with. Yeah, it's not, you got to get there now or never. It's not, this is not. Because you will go on vacation here and it's good and it's nice. And when you get, this is a good vacation. The idea of a good vacation is you leave the vacation and you think, man, we should move there. But you don't.

Right. That means you had a good time. Right. Any other thing, vacation wasn't worth it. As I was telling my girl, I was like, if we're still thinking that this seems like a valid idea in six months, then maybe it has some legs. But right now, we're just kind of intoxicated by the fact. And thinking about it, our lifestyle there, we're staying at this hotel, the fucking beach is like directly outside of our, our, bungalow, whatever the hell this thing's called.

If we actually move there, we're not going to be living quite so in the lap version of what it is. And in six months, if you still want to go there, but that woman will be dead and you'll be like, no, we're mine. Good thing we didn't go. Let me ask you this, Adam. The guy who founded the movement Go Home Gringo.

Probably such a fat, sweaty. Can you just picture him? You might be being racist right now. We're not sure. I had to hold back a lot right there. If the three of us moved to Puerto Rico, which one of us do you think he would hate the most? I could really see me and you going head to head.

Yeah, but you're like a prank guy. But no, but just looking, it depends on how many, honestly, it depends on how many people are with tattoos over there. I didn't spend enough time in the, like, city to really see what was going on out there. But I have a friend named Orlando, who's an A&R, who used to sign shitloads of rappers. He signed some of the biggest rappers. Now he spends tons of time in Puerto Rico and primarily is focused on these Latin artists. Because Bad Bunny, being from there, has completely, like distorted the entire marketplace I had multiple cab drivers bragged to me about how

they had previously done security for Bad Bunny like he's the only thing to talk about out there it's got to be like Drake in Canada but way worse yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah this big and it managed to you know birth like the biggest superstar right now even though I am completely naive to whatever his contribution is you yeah if never listened I was up up until maybe a few months ago if Bad Bunny walked into the room I was in and said, hey, who am I? I wouldn't know. Did I say Bad Baby? No, Bad Bunny.

I think you said Bunny. Okay, good. Did I say bad baby? No, I think I was saying, maybe I did. I think we're needlessly stressing over this. Is Bad Baby the one from Dr. Phil? Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Wait, so, okay. So, yeah, well, then, all right. Well, then you had a good vacation. And I don't, I don't, yeah. I don't know much about Bad Bunny except for now I know what he looks like. Because he did Saturday Night Live, I think. And he's fucking one of the Kardashians, I believe.

Oh. Really? Rob or who? I don't remember, honestly, but he's banging one of them. Really. Yeah. Is Robb's deceased, isn't he? No. Is he?

Is he the father? Deeming him the other day? He said he's down to come on the podcast. Is it Robert Kardashian the attorney for the OJ trial? But isn't there a younger one name? Yeah, I don't know. Okay, we'll specify, Chris, because it could be dekrophilia. It was funny because it was a guy.

But like, I think this is the thing. I think that just based off looks, if you go into the go home pop, what is it, Gringo? Go home Gringo. The Gringo Pingo Povery. is is uh is uh is uh is uh your uh your face is very fresh face i feel like immediately they hate him i think so yeah he has the but look he has like a techno duc mullet as well which i that pisses me off yeah yeah i saw because okay i've always had this haircuts as i've known you i know but it's just pissed by

my hair you're growing into it or out of it maybe i don't know there's just in a reverence to your haircut there's just like you know you know andrew shultz when he has the fucking zh yeah just something about it kind of pisses you off sure but it doesn't like it looks a little fascist to me which i kind of with but yours is kind of non-binary you two also have tattoos so the go-home gringo guy might think you're like construction workers well that's what i'm saying depending that's why i asked about the tattoos because it could be get these guys with fucking tattoos out of here or oh these guys got something about them maybe they're good for the economy and we're in a way you know what i

I don't know. No, I have the title for this episode. Go Home Gringo Poppy. We get the comedy fans. We get the white nationalists. Gringo. Who are you calling a gringo? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I am first of all honored to have Delia here, comedy legend. We're talking about for a long time. Thank you. One of my favorites, a sincere, sincere fan. Thanks. I discovered recently, though, that Chris and I go back, well, this is my first time meeting him. I thought, so I didn't know we went back at all. Apparently we go back to 2008.

Can we that is wild. Yeah, you mentioned this before, but I don't know what's coming. So what? Can we bring up one of these photos? And we're just going to go through the slideshow here. Yeah, I have no idea where this is going here. This is exciting. Yeah. Get ready to see. Oh, really. It's going to be on the screen, but it's not there yet. You're going to pull up DeLia's dick. Oh, there we go. No, I will say I've never, I've never taken a picture of my dick. And I, I have taken a picture of my dick. And I sent it to, the people I've sent it to a Brian Callan. So that's actually Brian Callan. I would send Brian Callum Yeah, I probably would too. No, no, I'm,

you don't have one for sure. You don't have a pick of me. There's no way. What is it? No, I definitely don't. Okay, so this by the way, so far, this is the worst shot I've ever seen in my life. All right. Anything. Well, but explain. I, this is, I want to see if Chris remembers this because Uriah Faber is a guy that we know in common. UFC Hall of Famer. Yeah, I know you're right.

MMA legend. Yeah. This was an attempted pilot. Yes. It was a show covering life on the fighter block. How are you involved with this? How do you know about it? This is a part of my life. I forget.

And then when I think of, I go, oh, yeah, I fucking did that. Okay, go ahead. You were doing a pilot with Uriah Faber. I was producing it. So do you want to explain? Yes. Well, we'll go back and forth. This is a group effort.

So, Uriah Faber owned four houses in Sacramento. Yes. It was right when the UFC was starting to be cool. and all the guys who lived on the block were like the best looking MMA fighters possible. Like handsome guys, college educated. It was a marketable idea. I mean, it was like an orgy five nights a week.

That probably wouldn't have played so well on television. But then again, at the time, there was the Jersey Shore. So Chris, I guess, comes up there with a camera crew one night when we go out to the park nightclub in downtown Sacramento. Jesus, okay. I'm 18 years. I get in with a fake ID and I'm told that Chris was following me

around with a camera while I drank vodka and puked. And you don't even remember. I don't even remember. But you don't remember because you were so drunk? Well, let's look at some of the other photos here. Can we scroll? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, but you're not, you're not, you weren't a fighter. What were you doing here? I'm a purple belt. Put some respect on my waist. That's something. That's something.

That's something. You're a bluebell, right, Chris? Yeah. So there's me and Uriah. That was my bed. Okay. Wow. Let's keep scrolling here. There's some more at the nightclub. This is me getting humiliated by a friend. So I was there this night. You were there. You were present, Chris. Let's keep scrolling. There's more. This is me looking distrustfully at a woman. Whoa, that's you. Yeah, in the middle there. That's me in the middle. Yeah, yeah. There's me. There you are. Maybe, you know, doing some problematic things to, uh... You f***er? No, I don't think I f***er. This is, that's me at the beginning of the night. But Chris, you were probably in this.

house like bobbing around yeah yeah you if you were producing it were you holding a camera no no no no do you look like a biohacker a bio hacker just like a very clean jawline in 2008 that was kind of the look though yeah a cold plunge in the morning that's grounding that kind of thing yeah i'm trying to like remember a memory there i don't i don't dude how many what also how do you have these pictures well chris first of all i wish you would have as a producer stepped in and intervened when people were bullying my passed out body. Yeah, I didn't, I may, I may, you know, maybe I was not there. Is that you? That's me. I'm like lawn right there. Is that a house? That's a home. Okay. So, so,

a bucket. Why do you, these pictures are from, why do you have these pictures? Because I, some lady was following us around with a camera. I was unconscious, dude. But how do you still have these pictures from 2008? She posted them. Her name was Tracy Lee. She ran a website called combat lifestyle.com. Okay, okay. And I would post these like on my MySpace after. And I would try to get, I would try to get pussy with them. Got it. Because your eye of favor was present.

And I was like 18. So all the girls I grew up with like thought that was cool that I knew a UFC guy. So this was before. I think this was before I even started stand up. Wow. Or maybe right at the same time. Right then. Yeah, right at the same time.

Two years after I started. 25. You started roughly? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. This hits home for me because I remember.

When I got into UFC was approximately 2008. And one of the first fights that I ever witnessed at the bar was with this girl's from out of town. She came. She meets up with me. We go to the bar. We watched the USC fight. She's hyping up your eye favor. Tell me all about them because I don't know anything about UFC yet.

I go home. I'm hooking up with her. She tells me she has genital herpes during it. During the hooking up. During the hookin up. And then she proceeds to suck my dick and goes to sleep right next to me. And I was totally, I've never been that okay with nothing. not a girl in my life.

Right, right, right. That's, I don't know, is it good to say it in the middle, I guess. Maybe beforehand. I mean, I would have been pretty upset if she. As soon as I'm staring at her vagina, she's like, I'm covered in sores. Right. Don't go near this. Sure.

Or you go, you see it. And then once you see it, she doesn't have an outbreak, but you see you. And they're like, oh shit, there it goes. It's starting. Do you have herpes? And she's like, ah, I wasn't going to maybe not tell. Yeah. And they look like, they look like the Gumbas from Mario brothers and they have little

faces and talking and kind of waddling around under pubic region. Honestly, you're making it sound kind of fun. Yeah. If herpes was that, the commercials would be way different. They wouldn't be in a kayak. You were filming like a pilot or something? Yeah, it was supposed to be, we were, we had a production company where we were going to do a bunch of reality TV.

There was that and some other ones. I don't even remember what they were. But that was going to be one that we were going to pitch. And to this day, I think about it sometimes because I do forget about it. And when I remember it, I'm like, that show would have been good. It would have been really good. It would have been good. And whoever slept on that, that would have been, because it was before the UFC got really big, it would have been huge.

And it was in 2008 where you could get away with a lot more like misogynist activities. It was so macho and like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it would be, there were nights over there where somebody had found an obese Latina woman off of MySpace and she would come over and six Cal Poly wrestlers would be in a circle around her in a hot tub with her dicks out. Yeah, right. Well, that sounds fun. Very 2008. Wow. That's 2008.

That's how people did it. But it's weird. I've had a few things like this where you're working on like a pilot for some company or some shit and you kind of like you spend a bunch of time on it. And then when you're done, it never gets formally produced. So nobody knows about it. But you spent like weeks or months on this. And then it kind of just vanishes from your brain.

We went out and tried to pitch it and we had a reel together and it just, you know. This is a little bit off topic. It's sort on topic though. But your eye of favor, you were saying that girl you hooked up with who had herpes you liked him he is to me like top five all-time pimps under five foot seven I think he's like five foot five he's very yeah when I showed up I was like oh I didn't know he's gonna be like I know lightweights obviously but like I didn't know he was going to be that tiny he's tiny but dude charismatic good good looking dude you know if you're a short guy he should be like

you're here he's the guy yeah dude he would like all the ufs I don't want to talk about his business but like I've seen seeing him with the most beautiful six-foot-tall women in the world. Really? Yes. Okay. So when I started podcasting, an online store was one of the furthest things from my mind. But now we're selling t-shirts, hoodies, kindamas, and more.

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across 175 countries. Plus, Shopify's award-winning help is there to support your success every step of the way because businesses that grow, grow with Shopify. You can sign up for a $1 a month trial period at Shopify.com slash no jumper all lowercase go to shopify.com slash no jumper now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. That's right. It's Shopify.com slash no jumper. You'll be helping us out. You'll be helping yourself out. Just get involved. Thanks. If you're a tiny man, there is some status for you to have in the UFC competing in the lighter weight divisions that you might not necessarily be. be able to get in most walks of life yeah it's perfect in yeah i i don't know i just wouldn't

want to be short but yeah okay say chris i want to throw this at you right now too i hear you got a big old so yeah okay who told you i don't want to say how i heard but i heard chris has a big old really yeah dude you've chosen to not make that part of your personal brand yeah i mean i don't i don't I don't know. I feel like I don't talk about my a lot. Yeah. I do. That's fine. It's not big. Let others talk about. Oh, you talk about yours. Got it. You should talk about mine more. I do talk a fair amount about yours. No, yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't know. I don't know. I think you know. I know if I have a big one or not. And I can, I can tell you. Please do. Yeah. It's big. It's big. But like, you know, I don't, yeah, I guess I don't talk about it. Not many people ask about it. Honestly. How big is it? Most normal people wouldn't, yeah. I'm locked in right now. This is the best part of the pod for me.

I feel like a lot. The average comedian doesn't have a lot to gain from the world knowing he's well endowed in that regard. Whereas I think Drake probably, I think he's pretty all right with people finding out they had a big guy as a rapper. It was like a million girls. That helps you. I will say when I when Drake put his when it went out there, I was like, oh wow. I was like, damn. And then my wife was like, the internet's like losing their mind. And I was like, man, I wonder if I fucking showed mine on the internet. Just set it up the same way in the mirror with it.

Just not as nice of a room because he's obviously that room is $100 million. But like just kind of whipping it around. But I think, yeah, yeah, no, mine's good. I good. I'm healthy there for sure. I think you're a little more than healthy, Christopher. Yeah. I've never got really not trying to let it go.

It's like, you have a beautiful schlong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never gotten like, whoa. Really? Yeah. I don't think so. So that's my theory is that because I, I've had phases in my life where I was like out there on the pussy getting trail. But I feel like that would be a lot harder for me to let go if I had a big, just based on that first moment where the girl catches a glimpse of it in the candlelight.

Just when you get that, oh my God, that's really big. I feel like that would be addicting. Yeah, hold on. I got to text to my friends. Like, boom, she said, oh my God. But I feel like, yeah, I don't know. I don't. Okay, so if you're with a chick and she takes off, you know, big boobs is the thing, right?

So if you take off her top and then she's got big tits, you're, do you go, whoa, big tits? I think, no. I think, no, I think. Exactly. But you do when it's a big, I think. Well, that's what I'm saying. So you think women do that way. And it's a big.

I wouldn't know from firsthand experience, but I want you to tell me that that's the case to affirm my fantasies. I, I, I, I don't, I mean, there was,

all I remember was, there was this one woman where I was like, we were, we were hooking up and totally cool. She was really sweet. And, and she went to, you know,

we got naked and she was like, and I was like, you want to have sex? And she was like, I don't know. And I was like, okay, um,

okay, then, that's all good. And she was like, yeah, well, it, I'm,

like, intimidated. It was like an open conversation. I was like, okay, well, then we won't do it. And then,

and then she was like, afterwards, she was like, I didn't do it because, like, I think it was big. And I was like, I don't know of it. And I was like,

and I laughed. And I was like, are you, you don't, I was like, you don't have to do that, like, say like, hey,

I didn't have sex with you because your penis is too big. Like, it's hilarious. And she was like, She was trying to sell it. I still think she was lying. I told me she she just didn't like me.

Right. You know, because it's not like that. It's not like if I take it out. It's like, whoa, at least to me, I don't know, but that's mine.

Right. But I mean, that's the f*** up thing about our dicks is that women don't really have almost any information to go on about how big your dick is going to be until there's no cleavage. It comes out.

Yeah. There's no big boobs. Yeah. Which there should be, really. No tight jeans. If there was a woman that we all knew who worked here and she kept her fubes,

it would be almost important. possible for her to hide her big boobs. She could walk backwards, but yeah, no, you'd know. I wish women had some way of announcing whether or not they were a size queen. That chick who turned down Christalia because his penis was too big. That's what she said. I need to encounter a woman like that. Because, like, one of my biggest fears, I'm a guy who's average.

I'm probably fine. But you guys, we're fine, bro. You're tall. I'm sure it's fine. I'm sure it's good, dude. It's not bad. He looks like you have an all right cock. Let me say something.

So I do porn. Yeah. So that's my excuse for this podcast being so shamelessly sex-oriented. But a lot of times when I interview male porn stories, they make it very, very clear that they don't do it or they don't like doing it when it comes to double penetration, meaning two penises in the same vagina or ass. He's the only guy who's a non-porn performer I've ever met, who has told me about how he has done double vaginal with a woman in his own.

private life off camera that's wild right we not open with that so so and and I always I've thought about this before so that's to me if you were to ask me I would say there are there are guys that would say yo you're a gay man including a lot of male porn star sure sure that it's a little yeah it's a little too zescent no guys would say oh Well, that's interesting. I didn't know you're homosexual, and that's fine. But I don't think that that's necessarily gay. I actually don't think it's gay because it really depends on what your focus is on.

If your focus is on the woman and you're not really focused on the guy's penis, then you're a straight guy. But if you're like, yeah, and then secretly you're like, also, like, I'm rubbing up against a dick. Okay. You're homosexual. You know what I mean? So, like, really, it could go either way. I think Chris's serious opinion on my double vaginal. was that I'm a gay guy

and then he said a bunch of other stuff to maybe feel less bad at myself. I wouldn't say you're a gay guy for that I really wouldn't. You wouldn't? No I genuinely wouldn't say that. Would you imply it? No, I don't think you're a gay guy. Would you hint at it? No, I'm saying in a funny way, people would say like oh, that's homosexual. I think those people are wrong. I don't think you're gay. Yeah.

Did why even bring it up, Chris? I'm sorry I brought it up. I'm sorry I brought up your double penetration. Because I already's thinking it. Everybody's thinking it at home that I'm a gay guy. No, I think that you're just, you know, some guys are just like, fuck it. I party, you know? And it's not necessarily gay. I think that's where he was at.

I think he was thinking of it from like a band Margera, Johnny Knoxville lens. I'm like, look how crazy I am. Like play the jackass music and then just let's do this, bro. I think putting your dick in a girl's vagina with your friends is like the sex equivalent of putting your friend in a shopping cart and then pushing him really fast into a curb. And he goes flying and you film it on your VX and you put it on. Got it. Yes. So, all right. Also, did you, why also here? Why did you do that? I think this. So when you're, before you're 14 years old, you're into skateboarding. You're into T-Ping houses. But then, like, there comes an age, maybe sophomore year of high school, where you go to your first house party. You take your first shot with a cheerleader. And maybe she lets you put a finger in. And from then on, like, that is the focus of your life. And every weekend, for me, at least in high school, Chris, doesn't drink, but I know you are on board

at this. The focus of your life is just how much further can I push this partying and sex thing? I think double vaginal was the end of the line. It was the final boss, and once I had accomplished that, it was what I was 27, it was my Bowser.

And then, like, from then on, like, I think I've settled down a lot. All right. I think and that was, you were 27? 27, yeah. That's a good double Vagageage. Is it? That's when Kirk O'Bain died, dude. Yeah, Tupac, Kirkobane. Jimmy Hendricks.

Oh, the 27 Club. That's a big deal. Most of them haven't done double vaginal. No. Yeah. They were great if they did with Kirkobain and Tupac double-upac. And that's what made him die, honestly. But here's the thing about the double,

here's the worst thing, because you know this has happened. So a straight guy and a straight guy want to have sex with a woman, okay? And the woman, everybody, everybody, straight. Everybody's straight. We were both straight, Chris. You're straight. That's what I'm saying. You were. You are straight. The dude is straight, still straight, probably. And the woman is straight, okay?

You have sex with kind of her, but also you're touching him too and you don't, right? But so later on, whatever it is, seven days later, you get herpes. You get it from him. Now, no matter what anyone says,

you're gay. It doesn't matter how straight you are. Good luck explaining in the county jail. You got herpes from your homeboy, but that you're not gay. Yeah. The thing is, is I got it from, but I'm straight, but I got it from a guy, but let me explain. That does not work. You're gay. I think Chris just checkmated me with that logic.

So if you didn't get herpes from that, you still have a fighting chance. I wore a condom. I wore a condom. That's crazier than anything we've said so far. That sounds even crazier, yeah. Being safe, thinking about safety in that moment is crazy. Yeah. If you're reckless, you're reckless, but you put on a condom.

And did he have a condom on? No, he was Rodo. I got him. And he had to buy it to... So you didn't trust him, but you didn't trust him. I didn't trust the woman. Okay. I didn't trust the woman.

You wearing the condom makes it a lot less gay. My mind might have actually just changed. Yeah, yeah, because it's not technically touching you. Yeah. But your balls mashed up. 100%. Like 30% of my friction was derived from his penis. That's undeniable.

That's a wild one, yeah. And he's got a bigger than me. So it was like, um, it sort of looked like the space shuttle blasting off with the boost And the little ones on top of it. And I think you get more sexual pleasure from the bottom of your dick where there's that like tube that goes along the bottom. That's not science. The top is like less feeling, right? Oh, I see what's the same.

The tube on the bottom is that's the real like source of pleasure. Now it's tilting back toward I'm gay. I mean, yeah. I'm glad you're here, bro. The part that feels good is the other guy's sit. I'm glad I did this double vaginal just because of the amount of like podcast mileage. It's cool that you are cool with admitting it and just saying it. This is what makes me think you're not gay.

He came in here one time with a whole folder full of photos of him doing the DV and whatnot. What's what do you having photos for everything? I like to keep them. That's nothing crazy. I like memories, Chris. This guy's got photos from 2008. Okay. Can I tell my old Chris Gileas story?

Yeah. The year was 2012. I'm living in Long Beach. There's a girl. She's, I don't want to give like too much descriptive information because I don't want to keep this vague, but she was like pretty hot. Okay. She's got like 100,000 followers, which at that time is a big,

fucking deal, right? Right. 2012. I'm hanging out with her and banging her. I go to, thank you. I go to her house one night. We're kicking it on the couch. We're smoking weed.

We're watching TV, whatever. Chris DeLea comes on the TV. She feels the need to tell me, yeah, I've had sex with him. She's bragging in my presence about having had sex with him. I'm nobody at the time. Chris DeLea is already famous. And it didn't like bother me, bother me, but it definitely like set it in stone for me for a moment there of like, oh, this bitch is hot. She's fucked.

Gosh, with money and fame that I don't have. And I don't know if up till that point in my life, I had ever fucked a girl who even had like enough status to have had sex with a successful comedian. Because prior to that, I'm kind of like new on the West Coast at this point. So like celebrity is kind of hard to come by when you're living in New Hampshire. But 2012, was Chris that big back then? I was already on TV and stuff, yeah. I had two specials, maybe, or one or two specials. You got good fast, dude.

Sorry, dude. Take away from the sex story. You have it quick, yeah, but no, but that's hilarious. But now, I would argue, bro, you're that guy. Yeah, you're that guy, you're that guy, you're that guy, you're that guy. I don't know, I've always kind of kept that memory in my mind because I remember in that moment, even though I did not have any sort of like claims or her vagina at all, she could be the biggest fucking whore in the world. Doesn't matter, I stole what a fuck dare.

The fact that I knew that in that moment made me feel like I at least had a chance in life. Yes. That's hilarious. You were on his level. Well, you know what? For that moment. I'm for that I could provide that for you. That, that, you know, um, confident boot. Confidence boots. But even like a girl who lives in Long Beach. Yeah. And a famous comedian. who performs in Los Angeles. Yeah. I mean, I know Long Beach is like 35 minutes on the highway away from us right now, but it's like, you know, Long Beach is like in Wisconsin.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, to her, it felt like it was probably like a pretty big deal at the time as well. Yeah, yeah. She was stoked on herself. I mean, Chris is a good looking guy. I'm all right, bro. It's the looks, they go downhill, you know? That's like, I try to work out.

I try to keep it cool, but it's like, you know, you see some angles sometimes. You're like, all right, I'm going to be the old guy now. guess you know you you're not well you were the same age 40 oh you're 40 okay I'm 43 okay and you're I'm 34 okay no so you've got a lot of vitality left in you yeah and we don't know it's been only seven years since you did the double penetration you start aging fast after DEP that it has that effect yeah it's like losing a child oh man just takes the soul out of you I did Chris maybe like my obsession with big X like losing a check my obsession with

big that same guy I double fuck he had like a big which is not a great guy to like choose as your like well except for it feels better for you probably let's see what Dave's doing what if he had flipped the script on you part way through the guy I was turned out it was a different kind of threesome and he just shoved his dick in your would you have killed the whole vibe and just been like no or would you have rolled with it and been like as long as I'm doing this I'll suck a little the best part would be if that guy came out of the closet during it. Like you, you were, you were having sex.

You know, he was under her. She was on top of her. You're over her. And then he just goes like this. He goes like this. Hey, bro, I'm gay. That, that would be then that dude is my hero. Guess what?

I'm gay. You f*** a gay guy. I fucking love Delea, dude. But Delea is one of the goat podcasters. I've been saying that forever, dude. He's the best, dude. I'd like to be silly and have a good time. He's the best, dude.

Put on Christa Leah podcast highlights if you just want to have a great afternoon or listen to his one-man podcast. It's great. But that guy and I, in San Francisco once, this chick that I kind of liked, her and I were hooking up in a hotel room in the Marina district, which is like the degenerate get pussy part of San Francisco. And I'm hooking up with her.

Him and I already have this relationship of like sharing chicks all the time. And against my better judgment, I kind of like invite him in on it because he's perked up like a dog watching us from the other bed. Clearly a woman's a piece. But I like this girl. She was like half Japanese.

Chris, it raises an eyebrow. Might of its own. I do. Half Japanese is like, that's like, that's like Calum. Crippiar.

It's my, it's Kryptonite caviar. God damn you have Japanese girls. Yeah, Weezer, as Rivers Cuomo said. Yeah. But,

very problematic song I've heard. Oh, probably they've tried to change the script about that song there a couple and then uh across across the sea that one's got like there's a yeah rivers Cuomo put out a very uh semi or a very autobiographical album we're getting up totally on the other side of things with that for the record i really like that he was like confessing to being a little odd it's dope i don't know yeah i don't know the song but i'm at my i might know this song but i don't know the story pinkerton you're not indie rock enough bro yeah greatest album of all time i'm definitely not so chris this might be part of my like my self-conscious

of my penis, but I'm, because I'm having sex with her. Like, it's going fine, but she's not making a lot of noises or anything. He comes over and she's like a whore, I found out. So she's just immediately downed out sex with him too. He puts it in and she immediately turns into a performer on plug talk. That's amazing. So you are like, what the fuck? Do I not lay it down?

Like, I was pretty drunk at the time, Chris. It just immediately sobered up. and it felt like ice was spreading through my insides. Just, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Not a peep when I was in there. And this is the big guy. The guy I share women with. Okay, well, I mean, he's married now, tragically.

That might be why. Why? Because he's got a big dick, and maybe she was. That's crazy. It was pleasurable, though. But it's not like it's like six feet bigger. It's like, that's a crazy reaction. Yeah.

Difference. And I don't think women marry men for, like, They're big guys for the most part. But I'm saying, but why did she? Maybe she just wanted to impress that guy and not you. That's a possibility. I don't mean to break it to you. But maybe it just really felt a lot better than your.

Yeah, true. Sometimes maybe. See, he was like offhandedly calling me gay. And now you're implying that I have a tiny cock that'll never feel good. Yeah, exactly. I just think they're like, evening guys. A lot of adult stars that I've had conversations with have revealed to me that their preferred penis size. in terms of a long-term sexual thing would be not the 13 inches.

I could imagine that that's true. And then, but then as a man, if you're with someone who is like, oh, good, I'm with you now. It's six inches. I've been with the guys with 13. I'm glad that you're not like that. The guy's like, oh,

you're just trying to make me feel better. Don't tell me that. You don't think I would kill for a, double the size of my own right now. Like, average guy is not going to really believe what they're saying. But I think you would ask, I think you would, because I think most women, even size queens, I think that they wouldn't want to be with somebody who's that big all the time. It's inconvenient.

Yeah. So like. Slash, painful. Yeah. So they might let out a Yelp and maybe especially the novelty of it in that moment, very, very appealing. But from what I could tell, the average that they would put. Her fur were probably more than the six, seven-inch region.

Adam would fucking know, too, because I think Lenny could tell you first hand, like, what, you know, a giant black guy feels like. No, yeah, we've had that conversation. Yeah. And she came back to me and doesn't seem like she's dying for a big black dick. Still holding it down. Normal size. What do you think about that, Chris? I think it would be really impressive if a woman could close her eyes and tell the color of a dick.

I think that we really just because of like, oh, that's a black one. You know what I mean? Black ones have a little curve at the end, I feel like. No, I don't. I think that's generalized. I think you're racist. A curve. There's all kinds of curves.

But some of the guys who have those curves, I think it's because they're using the weird penis pump stretching technology. Oh, wait. I heard I was listening to you guys on the way over here. You know, I was doing my research. And I was, you were talking about a penis pump. And the more plates, more dates guy uses it. something he owns like 14 of them you know if you go back there's an old video that he made sort of reviewing them he's really good at what he does that guy yeah yeah penis pumps primarily yeah okay

so I've I've never used one uh no oh really I have one in my house now but someone gave me as a joke and I still haven't really been able to bring myself to try it out I guess I would try it I just never have yeah once you have it it's still like a lot of commitment to actually like unbox it and take it out and there's a valve yeah squeezy ball and are you supposed to do it before sex and then it's like you're like Dr. Octopus beforehand and it's just like not sexy and you're like I think that it can give you some temporary it'll give you like a temporary increase in size but also if you do it over the long term it'll give you a permanent increase in size. Really? I believe yes. I don't that was what I'm sure that's what they claim and I wonder if that's true. I'm you know I need

to talk to my doctor about this but yeah. Yeah that's you're already battling your physical fitness regiment. I don't think you need to add another one of those in with your penis. You know I'm having one of those days right now where I did legs this morning. Oh yeah. So like so I'm gonna really hurts. I'm kind of limping around and stuff, you know? So like that's always like a fun day, right? When your legs really hurt, you're sort of hobbling around and nobody around you knows

that you're suffering. So you're getting old. You announce it to them over and over like, God, did squats today. Yeah. Yeah. Cause nothing's more endearing than a guy talking about the leg day. Yeah. I like it.

I don't want to go through anything without sharing it with the people around me. Anything I'm going through if I got a little bit of stomach acid, flux whatever it's called I'm gonna announce it to the wall really yeah everyone needs to know that's good my I I'm doing leg day later so do you both have the same leg day so Chris do you live like West Hollywood Hills where do you live in the hills just docks do you have a home gym just give us your address I do but I don't you know I don't have a technically I don't have a home gym Equinox guy yeah nice yeah I have a I'm building a house though I'll have a gym in that house and I have a yeah I don't go to the gym I like to go

the gym though because like it's like I don't do anything else really I I do the road I do shows and I go to the gym and that's really it now that I'm I have two kids and I'm like I just I like being home with them you know yeah but yeah I I I like going to the gym I like going to equinox too I don't have my own membership but the guy I double vaginal to chick with incidentally he lets me use his equinox where is he yeah and also it's getting gayer that you share a membership you know I mean yeah that we like go in together do you have the same like thumbprint when you go in it's the dick we get the couples discount is there a thumb print did I guess that correct I did I've never been thumbprinted no no no there's no there um but yeah I yeah I just like it's the cleanest gym so it's the

cleanest gym it's nice the Century City one is my favorite oh really look at yeah I don't know if I've been there it's got a nice view of the uh Lair yeah yeah yeah yeah because the one in hollywood like there's a couple of them where there's no view like well I have a view yeah yeah treadmill oh wow yeah or a TV right in front of it I prefer the view these hotel gyms are bullshit though man I had I was trying to get on the treadmill the day the TV was behind and I was like this is bullshit and that's not that interesting but at least it's short it's behind you brief anecdote yeah okay do you feel like being in equinox actually like hypes you up to work out or does it

kind of make you just want to get the out of there like more quickly because now I work out in my my gym that I built inside my garage just kind of Not simple, but it gets a job done. So I'm like very out of touch with what it would be like to have to go work out around people. It's a little annoying when people, because people will come up to you. They're like, what's up? That's a little annoying. But at Jim's like, Equinox, it doesn't really happen that much.

So, so because everyone thinks that they're famous. So you, it's nice. I like to zone out. I don't listen to music. I just zone out. It's the only time where I'm not thinking of anything. Yeah. So.

And I think that. if I were by myself doing it, I would get distracted more. You work out with a partner? No. Oh. I got a buddy you can work out with. I'd love to meet him. I'd love to meet him.

Don't introduce him to your wife, Chris. So he wouldn't come on this podcast though? He probably would, dude. He's remarkably loose-lipped, because he's like a really successful real estate developer. He actually met your dad recently. What? Oh my God. Really? Yes. What?

Yeah. Like he's got a, he's a Persian Jew. Who's like really well-bred? My dad lives in Santa Clarita, and he occasionally will meet people through playing golf that know me. And then he'll report back to me that he met some guy who owns like a burger truck and that he knows me. He met me one time at some time. Right, right. Or like, or they just know about me because my dad literally anyone he meets, he will say, you ever watch Adam 22?

No, he asks everyone. So he'll come back to me with all these little anecdotes about different people he met that know who I am. Kind of weird. That is something a proud parent does. That's a beautiful thing. Yeah, my dad's proud, too, of my YouTube channel. Really? He's, like, a very conservative, like, white judge guy.

And he's in his 70s, too. Like, I think all of our dads are. But he, like, will secretly just sit down and enjoy the filth every Monday. That's really awesome. Yeah. I love that shit. It's nice, huh? Yeah.

It's nice that we all got to a point where, because there was a time when my dad was like, what do you do with you, Dan? What the fuck is YouTube even? Like, in 2006, when it came out, Like what? Yeah. This is not a job, but it is. Yeah, my dad, I still don't know if he's ever watched a YouTube video in his life.

If he has, he doesn't mention it to me. But the other day, I was scrolling through my subscription feed, and he saw that my compadre, DJ Vlad, had just interviewed Pete Rose, the baseball player, who is like 800 years old. And my dad sees it as I'm scrolling through. And he goes, huh? Pete Rose, huh? And I'm just like, yeah. This is my friend. He interviews people and they put the clips on YouTube.

You could go watch these interview clips with Pete Rose. He's like, huh, maybe I will. So that's him getting one step closer because I'm pretty sure he's never watched a moment of my podcast. Pretty wild that YouTube is so big, but 70-year-olds are like, because my dad is into it. My dad and my mom, she's on Facebook, I think, and she texts me all the time. Mom's love things. Yeah, well, mom, we'll talk else are going to do. You know, they're just chilling.

But yeah, yeah. My dad's favorite. He watches my. my YouTube videos and then footage from the Ukrainian front. Really? That's a crazy algorithm. That's his algorithm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's his, he tried to watch our podcast once, but I think I, like, gave you Lennas Fleshlight and we were, like, playing around with it or, like, finger in it or something, and he kind of tuned out of that bud. If he doesn't like that, then. Yeah, I mean, we've pretty clearly alienated

the percentage of the audience who doesn't want to hear us talk about sex non-shop. Like, those people have already written their comments of, like, I am disgusted by the fact. that you guys were talking about double vaginal for a large percentage of this podcast. There's a decent percentage of people who don't like that kind of stuff. Yeah, but they secretly like it.

You know what I mean? Yeah, it's at least, it's at least interesting to them. Because like, if they don't do it and they're appalled and they've never done it, it's still, oh, wait, people do that? To fuck those people. They don't know, they don't know. They don't, they're not being real. Yeah.

It's worse than being a transphobre, a homo. up to be someone who's not into double vaginal. To me personally, a trans is a fading issue. Now it's about double vagaries. I mean, look. He got to your flagged. There's another good episode title.

Yeah, I don't know. But you've done it? Double Vag? Yeah. No. No. Got it. So you need a hole maybe. Well, I can tell you like an incident that I had recently, though, that really made me question myself. So we do these orgies as part of my porn-related

business plug talk and you know you'll walk into the orgy be joining into it and there's eight nine 10 people all in different positions doing different stuff what's the ratio like right on the middle usually more girls it'll be like six girls and like four dudes and so there's a girl and she's like standing she's on her knees just like this and there's a guy under her eating her and I walk up and I start getting head from her she's giving me head I see she's giving good head sloppy spit flumming Oh, it's going to go. I watch a dob.

A dob of the spit, exits, her mouth, drips from her mouth, and lands on this fucking guy's face. Oh. Yeah. White or black guy? Black. That'll influence how he takes that. I'm going to be honest. He didn't flinch.

Well, yeah, he was probably very involved in what he was doing. It makes you wonder in that moment, are you just a consummate professional? Or are you a little light in the loafers? I don't know. Yeah, because if you ignore it, there's an argument that he was so into what he was doing here that he's just a heterosexual guy, but there's also an argument that he ignored it because he's secretly gay. Are you polite or are you gay? Right, right, right.

Another title for this. Polite? And if you're too polite, you're gay. You know Sean Evans? Oh, I was going to ask you about this. It wasn't him. He was not the one who took the come to his face. No, but I see this online.

I follow you. You're like, this is the guy that I'm doing a podcast. No, no, no, no. I'm well aware of you, dude. I mean, we've talked in the past and all that shit. And I've also done hot ones. So, so I see this thing yesterday, I think, that you tweet, um, uh, her pussy's fire. Congrats, Sean.

Her pussy is fire. Fire emoji. Okay. So I, I look at this. And I've seen a lot of shit. I go. Whoa, right? What do they know?

And now my mind is like, do they know each other? Do they have a beef? Or is this all WWE? Then, then today I see you post a thing on Instagram about him. And I'm like, oh, okay, I'm going to ask him about this. Right. I'm still glad you brought it up because we were. So, okay.

I'm at the porn convention like a month ago. Yeah. And this girl, Melissa Stratton, I've, filmed porn with her and my wife like at least three times. So I've already got this whole thing going on with her, whatever. And I don't want to reveal the exact details of her relationship, but I've always known her to be someone who had a guy in her life. She's doing porn anyway.

She's got a guy who's holding her down to some extent, whatever. During the Super Bowl weekend, I'm in Puerto Rico with my girl. She says to me at one point she says, have you seen Melissa's story? And I'm like, no, what? She's like, she's hanging out with Sean Evans, like, hardcore. She's like tagging them. She's in the section at the club with them.

She's really kicking it with them. I don't know if they're dating or what. But my girl also pointed out, she looks at Sean's story. He's not posting her. He's not tagging her. Which as the guy who has like the largest show to have emerged from Complex and, you know, someone who interviews all these like extremely, extremely famous people or whatever, you know, him being seen

with a porn star is a little bit of a interesting look. I see. Okay, sure. Yeah. You know, he just had Sidney Sweeney. He's got all like the top, top stars to that kind of person being seen as dating a porn star is, you know, it's a little interesting, right?

Anyway, it comes out you know, two days ago, like you said, or one day ago, it comes out like TMZ posts like, oh, they are dating. They said, hey, they are dating. And I'm like, in my head, me knowing her to have a dude I'm thinking no they're not I don't believe it at all I think They were just kicking it they're probably in because from what I know the situation that she's in allows her to be with other guys right but in terms of like a serious long-term relationship from my perspective

No so you're saying already has a guy from what I know from what you understand okay and So I actually message her because as soon as I see this post about them being in a relationship. I think to myself, oh my God, this is so good. All I got to do is quote tweet this and say, congrats, Sean. Her pussy is fired. I knew immediately that I wanted to say that. But being that I'm in the porn business with my wife and my wife has a sense of humor that is like normal, like rational, normal human being. I think, I don't want to piss my girl off. So I messaged Melissa and I say, hey, do you care if I do this quote tweet? Because I think it'll be really funny, even though it's a little offensive. She goes, oh my God, I love it. That's

fucking hilarious doesn't reveal whether she's actually in a relationship with him or not but tells me that she thinks it would be funny so i i post it it it goes crazy people freaking the fuck out about the fact of your girl too right i mentioned it to her but ultimately i knew that she would be cool with it if melissa was cool with it then i wake up today and i see that they've apparently split if they ever were together right okay so that's the thing i didn't get so you all right so you didn't know so they were together you in it in my mind there was no chance that they are actually with each other in any kind of romantic sense. Yes, maybe they kicked it for Super Bowl weekend, but in my mind, there's no fucking way.

Okay. All right. Okay. So you post this, then it becomes more viral and then they break up, I guess. If they were actually ever together, yes. It is possible that this is all WWE. Right. And that Sean Evans and her have had a conversation about this and they knew that this was going

to be presented as if they were dating. I don't know. Maybe they actually were dating though. Maybe the terms of whatever relationship she's in allow for her to have full-on relationships with other guys. I don't know because every different porn couple has totally different rules. So what about how that you don't, you know Sean? I know Sean because probably seven years ago, he was like, hey, I'm in town. What do you got going on?

And I said, oh, yeah, you want to do something? Let's go get dinner or whatever. So I go out to dinner with him for like an hour. Never shot my shot about being on hot ones and never tried to have them on here. I probably should have back then. Right. But I spent like an hour having a conversation with. Okay. So and so no, so you don't, so you didn't say, hey, I'm going to write this to him. I did not tell him. Got it. Got it. Got it. Got it. And he didn't respond, right?

No, he has been totally silent on all of it, which is not that surprising to me because. Yeah, I would think he wouldn't. If you're someone in that position, being in a relationship with any kind of porn star, I've seen it over and over and over. Right. It just instantly becomes so controversial. Everybody wants to fucking talk about it. Everybody is so fascinated by the idea of a guy being willing to date, a porn star. I could tell you from my experience exactly what Sean was in for, if this was in fact a real relationship and if they did in fact have it for a long period of time and not one day.

Is there a chance? I haven't seen these photos. Is there a chance that he didn't want them out in the first place and that she just released them for her own personal game? If she was posting him. Well, she was posting him like crazy on her story and tag him. Meanwhile, he wasn't doing anything like that. He wasn't tagging her at all. Yeah, that would be depending on your brand, that could be annoying.

I mean, I wouldn't give a fun. If you're Sean Evans, you've got great shit, tons of money-making opportunities going on with all this. But meanwhile, the world doesn't really know that much about you, right? On average, I assume he's probably done podcasts where you can learn more about him. But from my perspective, he's kind of got the sweet spot as an entertainer where he's got a whole good thing going on. He's making a bunch of money. He's got all these different partnerships, whatever. But meanwhile, the world, it's not dependent on your image.

Yeah, him, all he has to do is just keep his image kind of cool and keep getting these massive and fucking interviews. Good position to be in. As soon as you start dating a porn star, it's too stressful. The waters get a little muddy. It's too stressful. You got to, like, if I think the best, if I think the best, like, the ultimate version of that is like the rock. You look at the rock.

Right. He's, I mean, if he says, I'm going to vote for this president. half of the people are like, well, I'm not with the rock anymore. Like that is the, that's my nightmare to like, like, I have podcasts. I go out, I do my thing. I do stand up. I talk about shit, you know? Like, it's my nightmare to be seen as somebody who is not opinionated.

And like, the rock, everything is, oh, you know, everyone's great and this and that. And it's like, I hate that shit. Like, this is why I like, I'm shocked at like late night shows. still exist like like like barely on the couch like no I know but they're there like Elijah Wood is going to go on Stephen Colbert and talk

about Jennifer Garner and people and you know it's bullshit you know Elijah she's amazing they could fucking hate each other and you could be like it was amazing I'm so glad to have that opportunity and there's this there's podcasts where people are like I I'm not gay but I put

my dick with another dude and fuck the chick like you're gonna you're gonna watch Jimmy Kimmel? It blows my mind. Who's watching it? Like your dad, okay, I get it. Dad's okay. But people who have been indoctrinated into this. I never even really got going with watching the like late night hosts. Because realistically, I became 18 in like 2002. I could already go online. I could already learn about different bands. Crazy to me. Graffiti and PMX and skateboard. All this stuff I was really into. I didn't have to go full monoculture with it and just tap into the most basic.

It's the same thing of like why I find SNL so difficult to stomach. It's just to me it's like, this is for everybody. There's nothing specific about my life experience contained within this. So to me it is extremely boring. No offense. Yeah, no, no offense. But it's just like it also, it

got so big, it can't do what it used to do. It used to make fun of stuff. And now just with everything the way it is, it can't do that. It can't do that. The only the only time I would sit for a late night show would be if the host is somebody like Conan O'Brien who's so exceptionally talented he will make Elijah Woods interview like probably more funny than 99% of the podcast was great but also that still was how many years ago like now it's a couple now yeah there won't be a Conan O'Brien yeah there won't be because

there can't be yeah Conan O'Brien had been doing it since whenever yeah since the old guard the old time. But like it just can't be like that anymore. Yeah. Well, they can't be like that Robert Smigel, Louis C.K. on the writing staff like that, like those were powerhouses. But now like watching Seth Myers do Trump jokes, I'm completely and I love, look, I love Seth. Myers is a nice fucking dude. He's super cool. I've done his show. But it's just like, I was just like, generic name. Nothing against Seth. I know. I know, I know. But, um, I just, um, I don't get it. It's also so skewed politically one way. It's like, I can't watch it. Yeah. I, like, I, I, like, I, I, I, like, I,

I just, yeah. Yeah, it's tough, man. When I, when you are in Los Angeles and you see a comedian get up there and he's doing material on why people who didn't get vaxed or boneheads. Dude. It's not even that like I'm super anti-vaxed. No, same. I don't like that you're taking for granted that everybody has the same political opinion in this room.

It's so annoying, dude. And anybody who spends 20 or 30 minutes on Twitter every day knows that there is a massive conflict between two sides and. And to anyone who's like going to be doing their content based on the assumption that you don't know that. That you're just going along with whatever else. Everybody's on board with. That to me is the part that's going to make that sort of shit. Bro, when I was when I was in 29, whenever Trump, 2020, I guess when you was elected, people were like, man, it's going to be in L.A.

are like, it's going to be awesome because Hillary Clinton's going to be the president. Right. And I would do the road. And I would see people. And I would and I was like in the back of my head. I was like, dude, I don't know if she's going to be president. But LA is so insular in that little bubble where it's like you don't, they don't even know what the actual fucking world thinks. Like and Trump won.

And and I was like, yeah, I thought maybe he might, you know? And he did. And it's just wild. People straight up don't, they straight up don't believe the media. And they shouldn't also because here's the deal. we know, we all know the media lies. We all know that. I think if you ask anybody that's with it, they know that.

But you still pick and choose what you believe from the media, which is dangerous because you got CNN saying one thing, and then you got Fox News saying another thing, and then you have the internet, which are filled with people who actually tell the truth, and then also lunatics, right? So you got to sift all this information. So for me, I'm just like, you know what?

I give up, and I just as long as I can be happy with my, kids because I don't know they were like you know the government is lying to you I go yeah and they probably been lying to us ever since I was born I don't have a fucking clue whoever's president is lying to us and I'm just gonna be my kids because the whole media did an incredible job throughout Trump's initial run at scaring the f*** out of the people that the world was never gonna be the same if this guy was put in office and then throughout the entirety of his presidency same thing they're trying to scare us and and convince us that everything was was

all fucked up. I don't think that they can really do that anymore. They can't do it anymore. They're still attempting to. Because there's way more shit to latch on to if you want to paint the picture of Trump being a bad guy, but none of it hits at all anymore. And even somebody like me, who's always voted a Democrat,

I don't even feel like any sort of sense of urgency to get involved in the conversation or to push my audience one way or the other. Same. Exactly. I just don't. I feel like realistically throughout the entirety of the next presidential race, I'll probably just mostly fall back and not really be dying to have conversations about it on camera because it just kind of feels like we already did this.

I already had plenty of Trump conversations a couple years back. Yeah, I just like love it how like people are like, you know, in just anything that happens. We have a fan base or whatever like, you know, or a following, whatever you want to say. Like people are just like, hey, this happened. You got to speak on this. And it's like, dude, me? I don't know shit. And I just want to be silly.

So listen to this. and I'm going to talk about pants for an hour because I don't want to talk about this bullshit. Yeah. Which is what we were talking earlier before Adam got here. Yeah. Chris, I just, I love Chris's comedy so much. I want to ask you about your subject matter a little bit, but like, what are the things I love about? What kind of pants are those? These are Lulu Lemons?

Oh, okay. I have a bunch of pants like that, too, but I always stop myself from wearing them to work, but I respect it. Listen. No, they're like the best pants on earth. They're nice. You don't wear them to work, though. Yeah, there's a lot of, like, fashion statements being made around this office. notice.

You know. You want the new hire is a nice choice. Scum guy? Yeah, he's got a striped out of his head. Oh, yeah. He's,

he's pretty hip, dude. I like him. I like him. But, so Chris, like, what I love about you is, a lot of people think comedy is,

it's all about what is being said. It's like set up punchline. Like, I took my father out for, for Father's Day. Yeah, I used a 9mm millimeter. Like,

that's what a lot of people's idea of comedy is. Yeah, yeah, but like, my favorite jokes are when, like, a facial expression is the punchline or like the joke the idea can be conveyed in like three words

and I feel like you're a master of that you're like a baseball player who has five tools or whatever. Thanks dude. It's like everything. I like to perform yeah. I think that there's this notion that like when here's something that people say to me and they think they're

it's a dig and I take it as a compliment. This is a compliment. This is always a compliment when people say this and haters say this to me. They say, where's the punchline? Dude, that to me is, okay, you don't get my style. That's, to me, punchlines are corny. Yeah. Like, just to me, it's not my style. There are people who are very good at it. Ronnie Dangerfield is amazing. I love watching him. But like, Anthony Jezelneck. But like, yeah, but like, I'm not that guy. I don't want to be that guy.

Yes. I don't secretly want to be that guy. I want to be on stage and I want to have a good time and make people laugh. And if that style speaks to you good. But like if you, I might, I mean, I don't have punchlines. I don't like punchlines. I don't find them interesting or funny. They're not funny. I see the work that goes into them and it's like takes a fun out of it. Yeah. I just don't like it. I tell stories and I go up and I make fun of people and and that's it. I got my cancellation for being fatphobic back in 2021. I want to rant, Chris, on a podcast about how the only useful part of a fat woman is the top half because it has big titties. Wow. And it got graphic.

I was talking about a samurai, kind of them in half. Okay. You got all his shows canceled for a period of time. Really? Because he said that he wanted to chop obese women in half, right? Really? Yeah. It was rough. But it's obviously you were joking. It was obvious. In context,

insanely obvious. But this is the point I want to get at. This guy who I don't want to talk shit, but he's one of those YouTubers who makes his living off criticizing people who create content. Like, I in the world and are taking a chance and sharing their opinion. A lot of those.

He, but like, his entire argument was based on the fact that because there wasn't a setup in a punchline, what I was doing was not comedy and therefore I was serious. Okay. And therefore I wanted to kill women and I should be kicked off YouTube. And yeah, I completely agree. Like, there are so many ways to be funny. You can smash a watermelon with a mallet. Yeah.

You can make a silly noise. Like, I, uh, that's why I love watching and like even just pop. podcasting with Chris here because you're you're so fluid like you're so yeah I don't know I just can it that's what I prefer to do it's more fun for me like I that's my family I grew up like that and like we all make fun of each other and shit it's just good like that what's your favorite club in L.A. I've been doing the laugh factory a lot uh I like them I like the improv I did them the other night um before COVID uh comedy store was I mean man those lineups were crazy It was like

It was You know In 2019 I was like man This is this is amazing I wonder I gotta I can't take this for granted Because like this isn't gonna be like this all the time COVID happened

Everybody moved And it's just not like that anymore But yeah It's comedians moved away Yeah I mean I mean somebody around in Austin now I went to I went like backstage At the comedy store a couple times

During the 2018-ish era And it was fucking ridiculous And I remember thinking like it can't just always be like this right yeah. Yeah, we were right there too. We were like yeah We would talk to each other and we're like this isn't gonna be forever. It's gonna pop it was like what burr rogan Sebastian me Sigura Juselnick I mean this was one night this is in one night for $20. Yes it's like you go see any of us on the road It's 40 50 whatever so it's like yeah it was and then a pop in would be like Chris rock it is it fucking nuts yes nuts it's still pretty great like I was just at the comedy store to see

Trevor Wallace my buddy Johnny Mitchell and yeah like Jettlenks by Eric Griffin a buddy of yours is a fucking murderer like I mean Theo Vaughan dropping in of course and that's a great lineup

you know all those guys but yeah it's just I don't know it's it became so everyone thought that living here was what you had to do and you just don't dude like you don't you can live wherever the you want I think Matt Rife is going to move to Ohio It's like, dude, it's like you don't have to live here.

Why do the three of us? It seems like the three of us love LA though. I really love LA. So like why is it that we are staying? I used to love LA. Now I love Puerto Rico. You're a Puerto Rico. I would go to bat for LA.

People would be like, why are you living in LA? I'm like, dude, the weather alone is fucking awesome. And then COVID so much of it up. And it's, you know, I talk about it with my wife. I'm like, should we stay here? Should we? My parents are here. And so we'll stay here for a bit. We're building the house here and it's just but the taxes and the fucking you know

It's wild what especially what you're making a lot of money. It's like I got to give this much to the It's wild. That's what one of the guys pool side in Puerto Rico told me is he goes for me and my wife moving here Basically it's like us getting paid a million dollars a year to move here and hang out in the sun all day. Yeah So he didn't have to exactly go into how much money he makes but doing the math in my head. I'm like oh well that means that you and your wife combined are making multiple millions of dollars a year. And if you don't have a really good reason to be living here, given that there's plenty of reasons to not live here, like the crime and the traffic and the whatever.

Yeah. But also, you don't have to go to Puerto Rico. You go, like, Rogan moved to Texas. Yeah. And what did he say fucking tens? Well, I don't know, millions and millions of dollars. Because of a Spotify deal. And for you down to Puerto Rico,

they're not even subject to federal taxes. Is that what you were saying? This girl told me that she's paying 4% a year. That seems like it might be. be illegal. I don't know. I hope she's got a good account. Hey, she's getting away with it. You want to know something funny? So I'm working out this morning and there's

a porn star, a male porn star, and then Alex Legend, who I've become friends with and he comes through and works out with me in the garage. Alex Legend? Yeah. Not his real name. He's either a foreign star or a superhero. He better have a fucking giant.

I like this guy because he's a metal head. So he comes through, works out with me, and he also working out in the garage in his garage so listen he comes through and he puts on his I didn't know Alex legend out at his and we work out right and so we're kind of talking me my personal trainer and him about what we're doing for the day and I say I'm actually interviewing Christalia today he goes ah Christalia and I'm like well and I'm not even going to try to imitate his French accent but he told me that 10 years ago Chris Delia shamed him at a comedy club during a performance

because he was wearing a scarf. Oh, really? I stand by that, dude. This is Alex Legend? Yeah, I stand by that. Don't wear a scarf at a comedy club? First of all, it's not cold in there. Second of all, you're at a comedy club.

You're going to get flamed for that. That's hilarious. And I told him, I'm like, you know, like, there's a thing called crowd work. They're just like, put people in the crowd. I'm sure he was totally funny. He's like, yes, but he did not even give me a chance to respond. I'm like, that's how it's supposed to go.

That's hilarious. If you want to be heard, you've got to fucking yell at the top of your lungs to compete with the guy with the mic. That's funny. Yeah, no, that's funny. You know, though, there is a thing, though, that people think, like, a lot of times. Like, I posted a clip on my Instagram the other day. This dude was laughing at, it was a big show in Phoenix. This dude would laugh at quiet moments.

He would just go, huh, huh, right? To be a dick, right? So, so I, there was one part where I said, it's on my Instagram. You go look at it on my Instagram. It's a few down. But I said, uh, I was talking about this thing where I was like, I cried for four days. And he just goes, ha, ha, about me crying for four days.

So I was like, I'm going to talk to this month. So I started talking to him. And he's got a cowboy hat. I start making fun of him. I mean, I, everyone was, he was, I obliterated him. Okay. Like, it's just like, it was bad news for the guy. But like, all in, all in, all in fun.

And also, I don't really care that much. Just don't interrupt for all the people. Like, I want people to enjoy the show. So the security goes over and they're like, hey, you got to go. And I was like, no, no, look, let him stay. I don't want him, you know, it's all good. We're good. You just don't really understand.

Maybe you're drunk and like it's affecting the show. And I love you, buddy. Just stay. You know, people don't understand that that's, most of the time, that's the attitude. People think, I posted the clip online. Of course, I posted it without me saying like, no, let him stay. Keep it. People are like, wow, what a fucking asshole.

He's laughing at you. And how insecure. you that he laughed at the wrong parts and you try to kick him out you're fragile and it's like first of all it none of it is that big of a deal yeah second of all he was you don't understand he was doing the sarcastic laughing at the quiet moments ruining the show and it's all good but people are like it's just wild how they see something and then turn it into you know they're the same people who are upset there were no punch lines in the act yeah exactly

and then there's people like you're lucky you don't do that to me Dude, come to my show. Come to my show and do that. Come on. I want you to come. You don't understand. Like, I need these people. You need to fall on your fucking face.

Dude, what are you going to do? Yeah. Wait afterwards and fight? No, you're not going to do that. You're also probably not going to say anything in the show. Yeah. These people, oh, man, if you did that to me, come. Yeah.

Come. Yeah. Come. It takes balls to heckle. Not as much as it takes to get on stage, but it's still like, it takes something. It does take balls to heckle. And it's, what's missed is the, like, I, you know, a lot of the time I'll be like, okay, yo, what's, like, I'll hear it, like, piping up in the, and I'll be like, all right, what's up, bro? Go ahead.

Say whatever it is you want to say. Silence. And I'm like, I'm giving you an opportunity. You were being annoying. Now I'm giving you an opportunity to say something. I've done this a few times. Silence, I say, you're a fucking pussy. I was like, that's what a pussy does.

That's what a pussy does. Now, now when it's okay to talk, you're not doing it. And back then, it's like, this is a pussy, everyone. Like, just so dick. Okay, do you think that the proliferation and the popularity of the crowdwork clips has kind of like changed the dynamic where, you know, it feels like that stuff is so much more viral than normal material? material?

Yes. That it kind of changes like the audience's relationship with the comedian. It does. Yeah. And crowd work people, some people think that like,

well, you know, when you get like, you know, Matt Reif made it, made it kind of very omnipresent. And I think there are people, especially because he's got a younger audience

that will see that and think, oh, I don't know any comedians. But this guy is funny. And this is what they do. So now they might expect that, right? I will say,

though that like it's funny that this crowdwork thing is like a big thing now because any good comedian has it kind of in their arsenal and it's so funny that people think it's like this fantastic making good materials way way way way way way harder than doing passable crowd work way way because it's such a one-sided battle yeah because like okay even you ever see like on a i've lost a crowdwork battle by the way horribly you ever see on the news or a like on like a political debate type show and you'll have like a big dude with like a loud voice and he's arguing with a woman yeah yeah low voice in comparison and it's just like this is incredibly one side right she has no chance of really coming out on top here and meanwhile you have

the famous guy on stage with a mic versus some random dude in the crowd they really got their back against the wall it's like an automatic w for the guy on stage unless you really it up right pretty much yeah pretty much yeah they say never give the mic to the guy because then you're putting them on there on your level but it's you know because you do this for a living but yeah but did you see um the david lucas yeah i did i watched that i watched that last night yeah i fucking love david lucas by the way and um yeah uh can somebody film me in on this a little bit for the audience and for danny it's basically he's on stage he starts cracking some george floyd jokes and you know kind of saying like uh one of the bars that he dropped was like if it was me i i would

have never knelt on his neck like that if it was me i would have never knelt on his neck like that if it was me i want I got to shot him. Right. You know, but he said it, funnier than I just made it sound. You know, he's just a bunch of stuff that's kind of poking at

the George Floyd thing. Yeah. Literally, you can't see the crowd, but you can see that like, a lot of black people start leaving the fucking audience. And a lot of them yell up at him

and let him know, like, I came here for a good time. You f***ed up. Like, they were deeply upset about the jokes that he were making about that. But the interesting was,

I'm watching this video. And I'm like, oh, this is the outrage. Okay, I'm going to watch this video because I'm, you know, David's my friend and I was looking at it and I'm watching and and David Lucas posted this

fucking video so I'm like oh well props to him you know he handled it actually really well really really well like you know when you look at the video like oh this is gonna spin out of control and he f*** up but he did not fuck up he did it he did really what he's he's a pro dude that guy like especially when it comes to sitting in the pocket there and when things could go wrong you could lose a crowd he he looked like he didn't sweat at all I thought that I was going to click on it and that I was going to be offended because Because when I'm looking at the response on Twitter, there's so much anger coming from different people on Twitter, that I'm like, oh, fuck, like, this sounds like it's going to be really bad.

I watched it. I didn't really think it was that out of bounds for anything that I would expect from a comic. He was trying to be funny. It's probably not too bad for his career. I mean, like Tony Hinchcliff had that thing going in Texas where he called the guy a dude. And that I feel like only made kill Tony bigger. Shane Gillis, of course, the ultimate calling success story. of all the people who have called somebody a

We gotta start saying it more Yeah it's uh it's Yeah it doesn't hurt It's any any any Anything helps man It's like it's just you I mean you know Yeah bro you fucking do crazy shit Yeah it only makes you bigger

That's why today I challenge Sean Evans To a fight basically Exactly Not exactly a fight but I know I decided you know when I see the breakup I'm like oh I need to go wrestler mode And I'm gonna tell him that he needs to apologize for breaking a porn star's heart on Valentine's Day.

So say Sean Evans goes like this. All right, you know what? I want to come on your podcast and I want to f***chicks on your show. That's what I told him he needed to do to make things right in the universe. And you would let that, you would do that. If Sean Evans wants to make his porn debut, for sure he could do that. I thought that that would be your answer. That would be great.

Yeah. That's an incredible idea. Would you use hot sauce as a loo? I think so. Also, I'm even thinking of shaving my head to let him know I'm serious. Oh, wow. Yeah. So we could both lube our dom.

I mean, do you think he's like full on balled or do you think that he chooses to live that life? I can't make a call on that one. Oh, I actually thought he had. I don't know much about the gay. Maybe I actually, if I think of him, he's got a little, he's got, he's got hair, but maybe not. Yeah. Because, okay, if you're a dude who chooses to shave your head, you have two choices. You can either keep it so shaved at all times that nobody ever even really gets to glimpse where the stubble is coming up.

so they can't tell if you're balding or not. Or you just kind of let it rock because you're basically going to have to shave your head almost every day. Yeah, that's so horrible. I mean, okay, he's got a bit of a widow's peak going here, but it's not fully bald. It's honestly a good bald head.

Like if I was balding, that is, that's the shape head I would want. Like a Jason Statham kind of look. Yes, it is. I mean, you know, I would say, for me, if I was balding, I would have the worst shaped head. Like, my head is long and shit. It would be bad.

we both have similar heads and faces kind of prominent noses. You got the same face, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Same face. So, yeah, I feel like, Adam, you have, like, the most psychological armor when it comes to posting controversial shit,

getting personal on the internet. I mean, obviously, your stunts last June or May or whatever is the best example of that. But, yeah, I feel like me and Chris are a little bit more, like, I'm not ready to post a clip of me making a George Floyd joke and then taking all the heat from that.

I don't think I am. ready to make a George full of joke either. I definitely don't want that fucking smoke, but I'm also not going to like jump into the category of people that are like, oh, look at David Lucas getting some shit. Why don't I get in on this? I'm going to tell him he's not being the right kind of black guy.

You're supposed to not make that kind of jump. Ha ha! I'm not going to do that. David Lucas is again, Texas? The Texas-based guy? Yeah, he's in Texas end here, I think. Okay. I'm supposed to interview him soon. I don't know if you want to get down on that. He's a good dude. He's a good dude. See what his take on double vaginals?

He's just, his thing is, his thing is he, and I believe this, dude, like, you can, you, you should be able to make a joke about anything. You should be. And it's up to the audience, if it's funny or not a lot of the time. And if they don't think it's funny, then, oh, you fucked up. But it doesn't meet, bro, how about, like, don't, dude, we live in a world where they get mad at the comedians for saying the things that are actually being done. You don't need to hold the comedians accountable. Hold the people fucking accountable who did this shit that we're talking about. You know?

It's just weird, man. It's weird. Because if you, as an audience, if you wanted to make David Lucas have a bad night, you would sit there and you would boo when he made the jokes that you didn't like. Walking out, it doesn't really do that much. You're now creating an audience that is going to go along with whatever jokes that you didn't like in the first place. If you were to sit there and kind of boo and not be into it and not laugh, you'd be having more of an. impact on what he's up there trying to do, right?

That's true, yeah. That's true. But I guess if you're so offended that you can't bear to sit there and listen to it, like what is the joke that a comedian would be able to make that would make you so uncomfortable that you wanted to walk out of there? It'd be tough for me. We even have that? It'd be, especially with my new all right haircut, it'd be pretty tough to walk me.

You'd be the only one left. I feel like it's a, it's a big on it, brother. Techno-lesbian haircut is what I'm going with. It's a little lesbian. I had, when I, so Chris, I've been doing stand-up for a year. now, which I know you probably secretly fucking hate me. No, I don't.

I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. He's also been doing it way longer than a year, and he's saying that because he feels like he's been taking him more serious for a year.

Right? Well, no. It's been about a year than I'm doing stand up. But we've been doing YouTube videos out in the street. Like, that was my eating shit. And I still eat shit on stage too, sometimes too. But that gave me like a little bit of a head start. A hundred percent of comedy.

Because like, I mean, I've had to like walk into a laundromat and be funny at night and 9 a.m. Absolutely gives you a leg up for sure. Sure. So, but like some, like, I was feeling out the whole standup thing. And like for the most part, like, it's gone pretty smoothly. But there have been times where my crowdwork is so aggressive. Yeah.

And the set will descend into like a 10 minute shit talk battle. Right. That's like really personal and fucking ugly. Like that's my version of a George Floyd joke. They're like about half my set is about George Floyd. But my audience is. They're trying to like that stuff. Is it really?

No. I don't have any George Floyd. You, yeah, but that's you figuring it out too. Like, it depends on what you want to do and what your goal is. If it's to make people laugh, then you'll figure it out. But you need to do those things to get to where you, the part where you're doing what you want to do. Yeah. You know?

I mean, I don't know. If you don't cross the line, how do you know where it is? Exactly. Yeah. Like, in stand-up, there is like no more painful, visceral learning experience than bombing in stand-up. It's like, I know that's what you love about stand-up. It's like, I know, that's like the most immediate feedback. Yeah.

It's not like, you know, you send your resume out to a bunch of jobs and you don't hear back. You hear back quick when you're up on stage. Yeah. It's it. You don't, I always feel like you don't bomb unless you, unless it bothers you. You're bombing. Because if you see a comedian in the, in the pocket, I should say even in the pocket, like in the, like if they're doing badly and the crowd knows they're doing badly and they're just like, yo, it's not my night. Yeah.

You don't really, you know, like, that's not really bombing. He gives a fuck. Yeah. But if they're like, uh, okay, so then you're like, oh,

God, this is a bomb, you know? Yeah, like I, I've bombed and I've cared and I've bombed and I've not cared. And when you don't care, people are just like,

oh, he's still, he's still, he's just having a bad night. You know what I brought up? Because I did, uh, the podcast with Brian Callan and Brendan Schaubb a couple of months ago.

And I brought up this, this infamous moment that I think a lot of people remember where, do you remember Brian Callan was basically saying something that was kind of presenting himself as if he was super tough and as if if if someone said that or did that to me then I would go to their house and beat the shit out of him whatever 2017 I listened to that episode live of the fighter and the kid okay yeah and I fucking and Joe takes it very literally and is basically takes that as an opportunity yeah and kind of like use that as an opportunity to tell Brian like you're not that tough I thought that was

bern and Brian Callan no but he was there too if I remember correctly but okay maybe I'm Miseries. Brian Cowan is the one who basically is perceived as saying that he's so fucking tough that he wouldn't ever let this or that happen. And when I brought that up, Callan immediately gave me the context of it, which is that he was trying to make a joke. Yes. And like Joe and other people in the room didn't really get that he was doing a bit.

I can attest to that. That's probably what happened. And in that moment, it came off very different. And through this like two minute explanation of it, I was like, oh, well, that makes way more sense than the way that this moment had been presented to me. by you know YouTube commentary type channels or whatever because no and Brian Callen or haven't watched him over the years he's not out here just telling you how and tough he is all the time it's it would be kind of out of character for him to do a bit that

was centered around look off and tough yeah yeah and in that moment I was like wow I've been kind of bamboozled by the people who create narratives for TikToks and YouTube videos dude I there is so one of these channels that's proliferating right now and it's my least favorite genre on YouTube it's we're gonna put Tom Seguera, Bert Kreischer, or Andrew Scholl's face on the thumbnail. I know a few of it's, the downfall of there's going to be an arrow going this way. And it's going to be about why they suck. Dude, it's the same people that Chris was talking about who were like, have a punchline.

Like you watch and they're like, Andrew Scholes is losing his mind. A million views. I watch it. And they're like right here on the podcast, he's ignoring this guest. He's clearly a sociopath. I love that. Right here he talks over. I watched this one too the other day.

And I have the same exact reaction, which I was just like, no. like the narrative that you are painting here no and you might there might be some truth to some of it you might be there might be some truth to like andrew over laughing or or you know uh Andrew being a little too aggressive with the guests or whatever there might be some truth to that but you are not going to fool me into thinking that probably like the biggest fucking comedy podcast right now is falling off yes just because you were able to isolate a couple of different moments from the podcast that you're so convinced that it's like it's over Andrew Schultz's career is over he's filling fucking arenas with 20,000 people, whatever it is.

His last video has got a million views on it. It's over because of these five little talking points that I've been able to assemble into a video. I exited out of that video very quickly because I was so not going for it. I did this. I'm sorry, Chris. I saw one about Bert Kreischer and I was like,

I have to see if I can recreate this. I went to chat GPT and said, write a negative essay about Bert Kreischer, indistinguishable from like 20 videos on YouTube. It was perfect. I could have uploaded this with a robotic voice and it would have been the same video. Wow.

Whoa. So wait, I guess my question is, why do you even click on that video? Because they get so many views. Like that. So you click because you're like, oh, this has a million views. I got to see why. Well, no, I'm a YouTuber. So I like to see what's trending on YouTube and kind of reverse engineer it.

But like that is, and I'm like me as well as Adam as well as you. We've all been the target of YouTube hate campaigns. So like I also get like, it's like looking at a car wreck for me. I'm like, like it triggers me and I have to see what it's about. Interesting. But I, maybe that's what. why I hate that genre so much more than the average person. Yeah. I don't

click on those because of the same reason that you'll click out, I know I'll click out of them because you'll get that, I think, yeah, I don't know. I love good criticism. Like, good music criticism. You know, I'm a person who I'm ashamed to admit this, but I'm reading pitchfork reviews of albums for like my entire adult life. I will visit the pitchfork website

because I enjoy people criticizing art. And there's been many. times where I've clicked on one of these videos criticizing podcast hosts or whatever and if I feel like they're doing a good honest job I mean I love that yeah sure but as soon as it starts to feel like okay you're just looking for any possible way to take a really really popular comic or rapper or whatever and put them in the thumbnail and create a narrative that is not really that tied to reality that's when I start to be like okay this genre has really gone a little too far at this point you know I hate what it gets personal too.

Like when some of them like, I remember there was something about Brandon Schaub like attacking him for having CTE. And I was like, dude, that's not, that's different than you saying he's not a funny comic, which I like Brian and Shaw. But I do, that's so personal to attack the guy's mental state. Yeah. There's, yeah, there's, I mean, everybody's a real person. It's, you know, but not online. Yeah. It doesn't seem to be like people that it's that whole thing where it's like it's much easier to kill someone by pressing a button that you know will blow their house.

house up than it is to fucking shoot him in the face. Sure. Because you're disconnected from it. At the same time, though, like the three of us. The person still dies. And Bert Kreischer and Schaub. I mean, that's kind of the price we pay for living, like, great lives. Yeah. It's a great life. And that's what comes with it.

That's true. It's like the quarterback for the Patriots is going to get shit talked about it. And that's what he gets paid for. Yeah. I get, yeah, you're right. I mean, it is weird, though. There are people that miss that somehow. They're just like, they don't get the hate.

you know every now and then somebody comes along like I think about you know if you take the really famous version of it like Keanu Reeves like nobody's ever said anything negative about him sure I mean like that's crazy who's a comic because we also opened ourselves up in a way that kianna doesn't true who's like a comedian that just is everybody loves uh I'm trying to think right well yeah I was gonna say like Sebastian but I still see people talking shit about like Sebastian's whenever he drops a new special like oh he's gone downhill not the same and he's a guy who's just like universally love and not controversial. Rogan obviously got all his

for a think like Trevor Wallace is a pretty good reputation. Yeah, he's yeah, he does. However, he's not at the level where that happens yet, I don't think. He's about to be there. He's about to be there. Love Trevor Wallace.

Super nice guy. Yeah, yeah, great. Yeah, I really like it. We're so hard the guy's going to be at that level for sure. I just feel like he's right under that level that gets that hate. Yeah. But in terms of like narrative building, which is what this is kind of all about. It's like they will build Trevor Wallace up

until he gets to the point that he's really fucking big and then these different commentators will make it their mission to find moments. And as soon as there's a crack in whatever he has going, he has one bad interview with someone where they kind of clown him or they give him a hard time and he ends up looking bad or he has a moment on stage where he looks like a fucking asshole.

And that's when they'll really start to sink their talents in. Because painting Andrew Schultz as a, failure or as somebody who you know is is so far gone that he's clearly falling off I mean it's just so early for you to try to make that kind like honestly five years from now or however there will come a day where Andrew Schultz starts to get replaced by other comedians or other podcast it that is fine yeah but these these content creators are trying to speed run that process because they realize that if they're able to paint that narrative a year before two years three years before it becomes something that other people are talking about, then they'll be able to be the

ones getting the clicks and views, you know, which it's kind of like a sinister process. But you also have to be aware enough as a content creator to realize this is just part of it. Yeah. And it ultimately doesn't matter. Right. Like, you know, like you, you know, we all made it. You're all fucking, you know, you're doing your thing. It's like, I, uh, you do a show that has thousands of people and you're like, oh, these are actually real people. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, who, I mean, who, I don't know who nobody makes I don't think people do people make the positive videos about people on YouTube I don't think they do yeah they don't get picked up in the algorithm you usually have to like frame it in such a way that it kind of sounds negative you kind of think that it's going to be negative and then you start to watch it and then you sort of this is too happy yeah wait a minute there's nothing negative at all being said here yeah I've had that many times I was listening to an interview with Ty Lopez mr. here in my garage yeah and he's actually a pretty fascinating guy but one of the things he says he said he's is that it's better to be a prince versus a king. Because when you're Donald Trump, you're getting indicted six ways until Sunday.

Every girl's coming after you for fucking everything. But if you are a real estate developer in New York and nobody knows his name, you're fucking crushing it. Interesting. If you're Trevor Wallace right now, he's making basically the same amount of money as the top guys, but he's not fucking Burt Kreischer with a face that's photoshopped to make it look like he's crying on every YouTube thumbnail. But you know, okay. Okay, you know. It's a king and Trevor's a prince.

You know what I've always wondered? Why do you have McDonald's? They get supersized meat. They get campaigns against them. McDonald's gets more shit than anybody you could ever think of. Walmart, same thing. Why does 7-Eleven go? Basically, there you go.

Nobody's writing hit pieces about 7-Eleven. Is the fucking Keanu Reeves. Yeah. Do you ever see those fucking wings? 7-Eleven. You ever see that pizza? There's a lot to criticize about 7-Eleven. Now, for the most part, though...

The bombs all hang out there? I hate the bombs. And you look at that pizza and a hot dog, and you see that in 7-Eleven, and you go like this. Whoa. It's a little bit like Keanu, dude. That's fucked up. Like Bill and Ted, you know? Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. But you wonder what, too, is that McDonald's and Walmart are American-made. 7-Eleven is Japanese. Oh, you did your research. I figured that out over the years. But also, 7-11 is so global. You go to Thailand?

Oh, my God. you've never seen this money in 7-Eleven life. Every corner and in the middle of the street, you will see a 7-Eleven. You'll go in at 7-Eleven and then go into another 7-Eleven. Two 7-Elevens connected. There really is an internship program going on for young Indian men at 7-Eleven, though. We had one on our podcast. We had an honest-to-God 7-Eleven employee who was an illegal immigrant from India.

And, like, dude, the second he got here, like 7-Eleven just hooked him up, they threw him one of those jerseys they wear as uniforms. and he's ringing up black and miles. Dude, well, I mean, the 7-Eleven employees, they go through it more than anybody. They're right in the middle of the hood. They're getting tortured by these dudes. People are coming in every day trying to scam them,

trying to rob, trying to steal, trying to put a gun in their face, empty out the cash register. I mean, those are the untold stories that we need to tap in with. And they had to, there was a controversy. One, right up here in North Hollywood, they were having to blare classical music

to keep the bums away. And they were like, what's that shark song, that like kids song about the shark? shark they were blaring baby shark to keep the homeless off the premises wow oh my god you're a dad you know how powerful that song is but then you get the in that that would just make the guy the clerk start shooting everybody that's okay dude that's crazy you're torturing the bums but then meanwhile the guy who works there is the one who really got a psychological trauma

going on you ever have this moment where just as long as we're mentioning kids it's 9 30 p.m. the flight lands from Puerto Rico and me, my girl, and my three-year-old daughter are all shuffling along, trying to make it out of LAX. And my kid has not slept enough at this point because she's not really sleeping on the flight and stuff. She, like a three-year-old who hasn't got enough sleep is like a drunk, like a, a, like a whino.

Like you're just saying the craziest shit. And word. They're just like, what the fuck? Especially out of them. That's a whole different bit. My kid said something that kind of sounded like that where the other day. Literally, as we're shuffling,

out anybody who's left LAX in recent memory there's a giant poster of a fucking monkey on the wall it's like an ad for a zoo or some shit and as I'm walking out with my kid my kid says dad I eat monkey poop I ate monkey poop and like a bunch of other people

who are walking out with me are all make eye contact with me and they're laughing because they're parents and they kind of understand that this is what kids do they say crazy shit but it occurred to me in that moment like I might not always be so lucky. I got to teach my kid to stop talking about you

yeah there comes an age where you where they're not three and they say I'm monkey poop and if you don't curb it before that they think like does this cat really is this dad really feeding his kid monkey shit so you got to make sure that she understands where does that happen around like four or five yeah and then also if people who don't have kids see you

they might think like what the fuck you know I was thinking that what if there's a LA Times journalist walking alongside and that's his big scoop I'm going to do our article and tell the world about this dude feeding his kid monkey poop just some single 39 overeducated Berkeley woman who works at the LA time this is a pattern at him

22 does he feeds his kids I've been seeing a lot of single women in Los Angeles you can tell are probably like never going to have children and hate men just like walking like border collies on leashes we've seen that type yeah just like the liberal overeducated

woman who's single and has a dog yeah yeah that's not that's mostly not a happy person I mean I'm sure there are happy people with that Yeah. Yeah. Mostly you could be like, hey, if I'm not a high person. That's one of my favorite stereotypes to run across is just like a grown woman who's clearly

prioritized her career over forming any sort of relationship with a man, never mind having kids. And they're living vicariously. Basically, they've replaced the kids and everything with like watching Netflix, maybe having some sort of like radical compassion for Ukraine or Palestine on Twitter. Definitely Palestine. walking a unique dog around like that that's their whole personality that they've decided to use instead of getting into a relationship and having kids and you can see it in their face how unhappy this series of life choices has made them but they're stuck and by the way fun to watch Netflix and have a dog and do whatever the fuck you want that's fun but you have 40 years left yeah that is not fun yeah you know you're 40 and you are going to live till 80 Five? That sucks.

They, and dude, like I... Hey, but you know what? More power to you. Yeah. That's fun. This is just skewed view of the world, that type of woman. I was just on an onboarding call for a company, and there were a bunch of other influencers who are, like, have this brand sponsorship. And they, like, the host is like just one of those chippers trying to not be offensive. Like, hey, everybody, welcome on. We're going to go around, ask everybody what they like to do and how their January is going. This lady who's an astrologer gets on, she's like... Astrologist?

Did I say astrologer? Astrologer. Either way, I don't know what that is. Stars. She's into astrology? Yes. And she gets on there. She's like, oh, hello.

I go by Ember. And this January, I'm just trying to come to terms with how awful of a place the world is right now and what we can do to correct it. And I just thought, what? Like, that's living in America in 2024, that's what you take away from what's going on is that your life is miserable, much worse than the generations prior. Yeah. And you can't enjoy the moment. Right. And it's kind of incredible.

Yeah. Just go to a grocery store and get, get something nice to eat. Yeah. Just do that. Yeah. Hey, do that. Yes. Yeah. Don't you're not, you're actually not miserable. Yeah. Choose. Choose to not be miserable. Right. Yes. Go eat a. Antimans. So I'm talking about. Yeah. It's insane. Watch any movie you want. Yeah. Without getting off the couch. Yeah. Without going to Blockbuster and being like, oh, training day's gone. Just buy it off iTunes for $2.99. Watch it.

Hey, get an asai bowl delivered by an Indian guy to your house. Right. And then eat the fucking asaible. I mean, the thing that's so offensive, and you hear people say this kind of shit all the time, I've heard girls say, like, I wouldn't want to have kids in 2024 because the world is so f*** up now. Literally, when my mom was a child, 70 years ago, black people. have to drink out of different water founts, you are going to be sent to Germany

to fight in a, not 70 years ago, but you know, like, a little bit further than that. Every generation goes to that shit. You're going to be set to fight in some crazy fucking wars. Yeah, man, this is like this painting of like modern times as if it's so bad. It's just fucking ridiculous. If you have any kind of understanding history. It's just going to get better and better. Dude, there's going to be people

in, in a hundred years, it's going to be, the only thing that they're always going to be doing is getting sucked off and eating cupcakes and they're going to be like, oh, this world's going shit. It's awesome. It's awesome. It's only getting better and better, dude. Yeah. It's the cars are cool.

The people are fucking crazy. But you know, you get a nicer, nicer shit in your house. If you have a house, you have an apartment. You fucking nice apartment. You know, you get a, it's, you can make it. You can make it. Everyone wants to be a victim. So here's how it is right.

We've never been more miserable. And Louis C.K. had the immortal bit on this. We've never been more miserable. That's true through polling. That's how it is. People perceive race relations, the worst they've ever been. Economic status.

They perceive it to be the worst. ever been. In the 50s, people always look back to was the glory day. People had less money. This is data. We had less money in the 50s and they'll leave it to Beaver times. But people felt richer because there was no basis for comparison. You saw your fat neighbor who just got back from the Chrysler plant. That's all you know. You don't see Bryce Hall in Vegas putting a million dollars down on a blackjack table with a smoking hot Argentinian shit next to me. That's so our perception is that we're poorer than ever, but it's not true. We're fucking. richer than ever. Yeah.

Wait, Luis C. had a bit on that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lucy had a bit on that. He's got the best bit ever. Like, everything's amazing and everybody's miserable. Oh, when he was on the couch with the Conan? He did it there. He did it there, but he actually doesn't get a special too. Yeah, it's like, you're flying.

You're complaining about the Wi-Fi. You're sailing through the air. Yeah. Which, by the way, I think why I should always work on an airplane, but that's a different story. Yeah. Oh, my God. I spent $25 on two separate flights the other day. So I had to spend $25 on the first flight. And then another $25 on the second flight.

Yeah. Same airline, same plane. Yep. Oh, wow. I noticed because they gave me duct taped because there's like a divider in the first class section between me and my kids sitting right next to me. And I wanted to keep the divider down so I could maintain a line of vision water. So they bring me a fucking roll of duct tape so I can put the pieces and keep the divider down. We get off of the plane. We go, we get some food. We get back on the plane for the second leg of the flight.

I realize it's the exact same plane. And then I have to spend $25 again on Wi-Fi. Everything is the same. I want to get somebody who works for me to dispute the charges. I don't really see myself sitting on the phone with them. That's what I get you, dude. That's the game. Yeah, you're not going to argue it.

That's the game. Dude, that's, yeah. What do you do? You go like this. You go like this. It's the same plane. I have $25. Exactly.

Because I'm going to get enough work. Even if I answer like three emails, it's like that's enough to justify the $25. But I'm still really offended. $25 is a lot for Wi-Fi. Yeah, it depends on how long the flight is. That's a premium for Wi-Fi, my friend. If you're taking two flights, that's $50 for the... Right?

Yeah, that's a lot. But then in the layover, we went to Fupas. I'm pretty sure we spent like $50 there. So you save some money there. It's because you could have went to a nicer place. Yeah. So you save some... So all in all, the Wi-Fi and the food all equals what it should have equaled.

Have you ever been to Papadose? No, what's that? It's like a seafood place that you see down south a lot. And I saw it in the Dallas airport. I've never had it, but I've heard it referenced. our rap song because it rhymes with some stuff. And then I was thinking about getting it, but I'm like, I don't think I'm going to get the real

version of whatever this tastes like here in the airport. Although the Popeyes was exactly the same as it was. Do you? Yeah. You could just go there and be like, what are the rappers like? Well, that is a good point. Yeah, that'd be a dangerous thing for you to utter. People don't seem that was code for something.

I will say that. What a rappers order here? Yeah. You ever had a rapper here? What do they order? Yeah. Southern food. I mean, that sounds inedible. A Southern seafood franchise.

I mean, we have long jaw on silver enough proudly never set foot inside one. You never been there? Never had it. It's pretty all right. I actually have never had Popeyes. Really? It's good.

It is, I would never eat it unless I was like life-threateningly hungover, but it's pretty tasty. I'm sure it's good. It's supposed to be, right? Like that day engineer it to make it good. I don't, yeah, I ate fried chicken recently from a fast food place.

I'd never eat fast food. I do eat in and out. Your response, Dialog Cafe, right? That's me. I love dialogue. You too? Yeah, bro. Dialog date.

Oh. The breakfast burritos are amazing. I think I saw you there once. I drove by you there once. And I think you talked about it on your podcast. He had a whole bit on here giving me shit about ordering coffee and burritos from dialogue as well. I've never been there in person.

Oh, you haven't? I don't know what the vibe is. I just postmates. It's nice, yeah. It's an incredible vibe. It's like the hottest chicks in the world. But the problem is the bathroom door. There's one bathroom.

And I need bathroom access if I'm posting somewhere, dude. Because I piss a lot. Oh, wow, really. Yeah. That's not why you know, like. the bathroom situation no it's just they yeah well they had a bathroom situation and they were fixing it they said and I was there I mostly postmates from I've been there a few times but and they were like no our bathroom is this and now you have to go down and I was like oh the bathroom

situation up so I know it's up but I don't know about the thing dude for me that's like because I like to work on my computer and I love to work at other places it's sort of like why we like go and do equinox or to a gym you're there you're in the mindset I got to get a good workout I can't start jerking off me way through like I'm doing work at home Right. But I can't go to dialogue because the bathroom situation is a cluster. Like my idea, I need a Barnes & Noble. That'd be great.

You know, usually they have two stalls. Love working there because nobody's paying attention to you at all. They're trying to sell books. Absolutely. And that's a dying business. There's hardly a soul in the building. They're happy to just have you there with your $5 coffee, even if you're going to be there for six hours. That's more profitable purchase than a book would be.

UCLA is the best spot to post up, dude. UCLA's got a fucking the best bathrooms, dude. Really? Yeah, dude, that's where I think. I don't care about. about the bathrooms at all. I will go piss or shit any bathroom in the woods. I don't care. Dude, I, I, I, man, that made me think of, dude, I've told this story on my podcast before, but, uh, I, you know, I had the whole thing with Eminem. Like he wanted to do the song and stuff and so. So he, I was in Detroit to do a show and, uh, they reached out. I don't remember how, but they were like, Eminem wants you to come by the studio and, and like say hi. So I was like, all right cool so we were on the way there we were in the SUV not the SUV the what do you call it the the big Mercedes sprinter yeah and bro I I I remember I had to pull over and shit in the

in in someone's yard on the way to M&Ms because a big bro and it was so faked up too because you know it was one of those things were like you were you were you were you were it was feeling like huh you know you have the first initial we're like huh you're like nah I can make it and then immediately you're like maybe I can't you know and and I and then immediately after those two moments it went to you know what we need to stop right now and I went and and and I said hey can you pull off because I got a I got to go to the bathroom and and I got to do it now and the guy's like sure goes dude and the guy's like which way you want to go I'm like bro don't ask me shit I'm going to shit myself you know what I mean anything but anything but concentrate on not

letting my anus open like having a conversation with you you this this sprinters fuck So so so I said yeah just you figured out you know and then and then there's there's right and left off of the freeway Right there's a hospital. Okay left there's I don't know because we don't know where we are right so he goes right or left and I don't hear him and he goes left and I'm like well one thing's for sure you know hospitals have toilets yeah so I go like this pull over like there you got this now we were we were we're gonna guess we call that I'm gonna shit so so he pulls over I open the thing I run into somebody's yard I run into somebody's yard and it was like in Detroit in the outskirts of Detroit so people had like property like it was like it was a nice place and I just squat down my sister lives

in the suburbs of Detroit might have been her alone dude I mean when I left I was like they're I think a mountain lion came by. Bro, and I got back into the sprinter, and I fucking went, and I met Eminem, and he has no idea that I took a shit in someone's yard before I met him. How much FaceTime you actually go with him? A long time.

We were probably there for an hour and a half. Just kicking it, talking about whatever? So cool. Any particular information you gleaned? Because keep in mind, I'm in the hip-hop world, and almost nobody, including, like, media professionals, including, like, the pop and rappers from Detroit, almost nobody gets FaceTime with Eminem.

He does not go out in public. like he does not do anything he likes comedians he really likes comedians he likes you know when I did that thing when I did the impression of him and then he was like he retweeted it and then they wanted to put me on the song where he played me and I played him which is fucking still crazy by the way yeah I showed up in the in the studio and he saw me and he started rapping my impression of him and I was like what a fucking trip you know this shit like this life is crazy yeah and he was doing it and then we sat he sat down we talked for an hour an hour and a half it was unbelievable man like I was even I got to the point where I was like all right well I don't want to keep your time they're like nah stay so yeah we were and he was talking about

you know rapping and how he came up and critics and how um and his tour life like I mean we covered it all it was crazy and you shook his hand without washing your hands and you had just been clutching your own ass cheeks pulling them apart in a squat stance in somebody's yard taking a shit I don't think that's necessary you know what I don't know. That's how I'm seeing it. I don't know. And I hope I washed my hands. Right. But you might not have.

And he's like a bit of a germaphobe. So I might hit him a little bit harder. But I'll tell you, I'll go further. Bro, it was clean how I did it. Like I don't, you don't. If somebody doesn't wash their hands after they go to the bathroom, I'm going to, I would put the trust in them like, all right, well, they were there and did the thing. They know if they have to wash their hands.

I don't give a fuck. I'm not a germ guy. Yeah. But like, shitting is a different story. but pissing I don't give a fuck at all my penis is clean a shit I think it's dirtier to touch the faucet that might have been handled by the junkie you came at Starbucks yeah yeah I I wash my hands on the way into the bathroom and because I touch something dirty and I don't want to put it on my

I'm very confident the reverse is clean yeah I'm not so confident in that in reality if you were to smell it or if we were to look at it under a micro soap I feel like probably not that clean but in my head I'm not really doing anything disgusting at all when I go to the bathroom but I try to wash my hands but quite frequently I don't Yeah If it's all touch free I'll do it

If not I'm walking the fuck out Sometimes I get guilted though Like if there's If I'm stopped at a truck stop And there's like a long haul Like 18 wheeler driver Kind of eyeing me The pressure makes me

That's when I doubly don't do it You gotta get used to those situations Where you look at somebody in the eye And you don't wash your hands And they know you don't wash your hands And you own that situation Dude maybe that's why Chris That's my goal

Dominates the stage And I'm still throwing up That helps He's got that confidence He wants somebody gonna tell you A piece of shit Who gives a fuck? But okay, what about when you're in the environment?

Like, I was just at the porn convention for a week. So, like, basic thing, you get to the convention at, like, 1 or 2 p.m. You're shaking hands and taking photos with people for, like, six hours. And at a certain point, you've just got to accept. Your hand is now radio active. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You cannot chew your fingernail. You can't put it in your eye, anything.

This hand is useless until I encounter a sink. I'm only going to use this. Or you find an enemy and you just put your hand in their mouth. And they got that guy of everything. There's a lot of chicks I hate who would probably be done to have my fingers in their mouth at the porn convention. So that was a bad idea. But I mean, that's like a weird moment for you to just be like, this hand does not belong to me. This is like a rancid piece of shit that I want nothing to do with.

But I'm going to put it with other people's hands. But no, and then I found some hand sanitizer. So I was actually using that. Well, the ironic thing is hand sanitizer is probably net worse for your health. Really? A bunch of stuff came out during the pandemic. I mean, that shit, it's like, it's like toxic. It seeps through your skin.

It does damage. Soap, I mean, obviously, like, germ theory proved that a doctor should wash his hands before delivering a baby. So I believe in washing your hands. But a lot of it, I feel like, too, is just in our head. Like, if we showered a quarter as much as we do and washed our hands and ate as much, like, would there be much of a difference in our health? I had, like, a three and a half days not showering street going prior to this morning. That's what I was talking about, dude. I like that.

Wow. I've never done that. Monday afternoon, took a shower in Puerto Rico, Tuesday, flew all day, Wednesday, worked on my computer all day, totally forgot that I hadn't showered in the jack shack. Hell yeah. And then I took a shower this morning. I'm like, that's probably like one of the longest not showering streaks I've done in my entire adult life. Yeah. At some point, like I don't want to pollute my sheets.

I feel gross. That's what my girl brought up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For me, it's not even, it's just, I don't feel like I really woke up. Mm. You know.

You shower first thing? Yeah. almost almost every single day but um I don't know what I was going to say after that what time you wake up Chris you wake up at like 3 p.m. no I used to do like noon but I'll do like I can do like 10 if I 10 30 if you wake up at 3 p.m. with kids no yeah that's insane because your kids about to go to bed no no no I know although my kids stay up later we we we orchestrated we're like wait a minute we stay up why can't we just we don't have to do it and that works yeah interesting what time your kid wake up

Honestly, sometimes they wake up at 10.30, yeah. It's gangster, bro. It's so good. Did they go to school? Yeah, well, we don't do it on the school nights. We try to put him to bed a little earlier. My kid will wake up at like 5.30 or 6 in the morning, no matter what time they go to day. It never happened. Not for us. Yeah, that was a kid did. That's pretty cool. Okay, Chris, thank you so much. Dude, thanks. I haven't got this. I know we were trying to make it work for a while, but yeah, I'm happy to do it. And Danny? Danny. Thank you for adding your comedic stylings here.

I didn't add much of those. That was mostly, Chris, but it was fucking... I have to do the double vaginal conversation. Glad we got that out of the one. It was good. I'm glad I was a part of that, honestly. You learned something new. You probably never made anybody

about your whole life who had that kind of tail, right? I don't think so, yeah. Or if they did, they didn't share it. No, they're not sharing, yeah. Thanks, guys. So thanks, Danny. Thank you, Chris.

Thank you, Chris. And I don't think I mentioned it once, but I watched your special last night. I spent $10 on it. So, uh, you know... I would have sent it to you. Oh, no, that's fine. But I just want to say, you can go check that out on his website.

If you want to see his latest comedic Offering. You're working on another one? I have a whole new hour that I'm doing on the road. You can go, KristaD.com, get tickets. I'm everywhere. See Chris Live, man.

It's a treat. I saw you at the laugh factory. Dude, he blew the club out, man. It was great. If you want to die laughing for his entire time. Oh, thanks, dude. I like it. It's a live medium, yeah, for sure.

That's for sure. Standup. Go see stand-up live. Yeah. Let's go. Chris DeLia, Danny Mullen, no John Burke. Coolest podcast.

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