No Jumper - The 905 Shooter Interview: Getting Kicked Out of NELK, Moving On, Stopping Drinking & More

Episode Date: June 10, 2021

905 Shooter (Jason Pagaduan) talks about what he's been up to since parting ways with Nelk, vlogging, new endeavors and more. https://www.instagram.com/905shooter/ ----- CHECK OUT OUR NEW SPOTIFY PLAYLIST https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5tesvmDS8h50LkjnSAWMOs?si=j6sJD6DkR4mk5NZZWnlK7g FOLLOW US ON SNAPCHAT FOR THE LATEST NEWS & UPDATES https://www.snapchat.com/discover/No_Jumper/4874336901 CHECK OUT OUR ONLINE STORE!!! http://www.nojumper.com/ SUBSCRIBE for new interviews (and more) weekly: http://bit.ly/nastymondayz Follow us on Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/nojumper iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/no-jumper/id1001659715?mt=2 Follow us on Social Media: https://www.snapchat.com/discover/No_Jumper/4874336901 http://www.twitter.com/nojumper http://www.instagram.com/nojumper https://www.facebook.com/NOJUMPEROFFICIAL http://www.reddit.com/r/nojumper JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/Q3XPfBm Follow Adam22: https://www.tiktok.com/@adam22 http://www.twitter.com/adam22 http://www.instagram.com/adam22 adam22hoe on Snapchat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No Jumper, coolest podcast in the world. And today we got 905 Shooter on the show. How are you, man? I'm doing great. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. Are you? Yeah.

That was good to hear. Thank you. And also, congrats to Adam on getting engaged. This is the second podcast since I got engaged, but she didn't mention it on the first one. So thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. How's the father heard going?

It's great. Six months in, you know, can't complain. Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. How's everything going with you? It's great. So I came here with my buddy two weeks ago.

Okay. And we literally planned this about a week and a half before leaving. Oh, okay. And we just decided to go to L.A. and California, and he said, let's just create content here. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and here we are. How's it been going? It's been great.

So we first started in San Clemente. And we went to San Diego, and then we drove up to Malibu, and we're staying with a friend that's actually here with us. Right. And so we just been traveling everywhere around California. Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, when I've been looking at your YouTube channel and shit,

seems like most of the stuff you've been doing is kind of more like like I don't know traveling sort of just exploring just that how you would describe it yeah basically what I it was unintentional where I was in Toronto a lot and since I know the city so well I thought I'm like why don't just show people parts of Toronto spots or landmarks in Toronto that people may not know of if they're not from the city and so I kind of just started going with it and I've been doing for about three months where I just want to like be a sort of tour guide for people who are wanting to visit or never seen it before right and like give them an insight look of what Toronto really feels like without actually being there until you know the lockdowns and whatever you are

ends really right so that was my whole goal and then coming here to california was basically the same thing of just like taking what i got from that experience and transitioning it to california where I get to show people like San Monica Pier or San Diego downtown. And we just got to stay at, he actually, my buddy Aaron, actually emailed a couple of hotels. So we stayed for free at a place in San Clementi. How do you do that? How do you get the free hotel stays? I've never attempted this.

So I hear about people with like no followers pulling this off. And I'm like, damn, maybe I should do that. It's a bit of a life hack. But basically he would just email all these different hotels and just give them statistics of like what this engagement of this person is. how many followers, how many like sort of comments and all these other stuff that they put with brand companies. And for me, for example, just showed like my YouTube, my Instagram, my TikTok, and just kind of give them analytics and just tell them like, we'll do, you know, photos and videos for you guys

if we, if you allow us to stay here for a free accommodation. Right. And that's kind of how he did for the first, even a couple days before we got there. He just emailed a bunch of places. And it was a place called the surf break, which I put it on my YouTube channel. Okay. And then the same thing happened to San Diego where we stayed at the Intercontinental. Really? And it was an amazing hotel. So you're just able to stay for free and all they expect to view is to like tag it and sort of

post about it and shit? Yeah, exactly. Wow. And honestly, it's more of like if you strategically say in the email what you're going to give them an incentive. And it's the same thing with photography where if you don't really have a skill set, I say, or a reason for these people to reach back to you and not really come off as professionally,

then they're just going to think you're just another person trying to use and abuse them in a way. Right. Because I've seen people go viral before for like, there was some lady who like some influencer hit her up and was somebody with like no fucking followers and they were like trying to get the free stay or whatever and she posted it on fucking Twitter or some shit

just like just making fun of them so bad and it went so viral. and I guess that always kind of made me think like no there's no way you think if I call up like the local motel 6 that they're going to let me stay there for free for like you know I'm gonna take pictures of your hotel here and I'm not gonna fucking tell everybody that's a roach infested crack den and that there's prostitutes crawl in the streets outside um don't mention that but um yeah it's maybe more of like a set of positive like not like I'm not gonna expose you more like I'm gonna show you in a good light exactly And so you also want to give them the most positive feedback when you're staying there and like, you know, tell them an experience that, you know, you may not know of about this place and like it's a surf town. So we had no idea going there. That's why it's called the Surf Break Hotel. It just kind of caters to these people who are wanting to surf or just experience someone new away from the whole city of L.A. And get away from the big cities.

And I like those type of cities where like the bit smaller. and it's a more chill community where people just like are more sort of nicer in a way it sounds a bit rude but it's kind of how Toronto is a big fucking city and everybody's nice as fuck

I mean in comparison to here not just Toronto and everybody's nice yeah everybody in Canada is nice as nice yeah yeah what is that there's always Karen's everyone in the world

so they're always running around somewhere right definitely yeah so wherever like presses from I feel like that's probably like not a very nice place no he's from Jane and Finch area and it's along the street called Driftwood Avenue. Right. Which is one of the most, it's not, well, it kind of is dangerous, but it's one of the most

talked about areas of Toronto when it comes to like the hood. Yeah. Let's just put it that way. Yeah. Like when I was watching the video about all the Canadian rappers killing each other, I was like, damn, every time I've been there, everybody's so nice, but apparently it's got to be drillers everywhere. Yeah, and that's the thing I think for me, I don't only want to show the good, but somewhat

shed some light on the bad area. Like, for example, my buddy Aaron, he went to San Francisco last fall, and you was telling me how people there, it's very secured in terms of, like, people breaking into cars and all that. And especially, like, if you leave it on the street, people break their back windows. And so that's something that, like, people don't really sort of talk about, I guess, on social media, like the bads. I mean, I'm sure there's people who experience the bad that talk about it because that's all they knew. but a lot of people kind of scare they stray away from the bad in a way and that's like the same thing for me where

I kind of want to shed the light where this is the reality of it this is what we go through and not everybody gets to see it right because they don't have the privilege and the accessibility to social media or the internet like we do the question is just how far you're willing to go

because I bet you can get a lot of views if you like embedded within like a bunch of heroin addicts and just lived amongst them and did heroin and became addicted to it. Yeah, and a lot of YouTubers nowadays, they incorporate homelessness into the video. And they do it? They actually live on the street? That's crazy. I don't know about living on the street, but they make a video based around the homelessness.

And someone sent me a video about how they gave, like, a muckbang, I think, with one homeless. I think it was Brendan Taylor. That's got to be probably an easy sell. they're all hungry as fuck so you bring them some food they eat it yeah exactly and so you know that's just kind of sort of what I want to not always do but if there's a moment in time where I have the chance to I will show it to a certain degree right because obviously people don't really they get offended when they hear this or they see it and they're like why are you doing this and if they have no context no story behind it then they're just going to assume and I've said this before

where people on the internet, they just create their own assumptions, their own narratives, when they don't get the full context behind the person's story told by themselves and not, and through other people telling their story about you, right? And that's one of the talking points I mentioned in the email to Laura about people creating the narratives for me. Yeah, definitely. So, yeah, for a lot of people, they really only know of you starting at the moment where you started working with NELC. basically what led up to that like what kind of what was your life like leading into that were you in high school or college at that time or so i started photography in 2014 when i was 19 okay so that was quite

before now that was in 2017 when i became a full-time employee okay and not there's a lot of people that know this because they're they're probably like OG viewers they've seen it from the beginning where and before i came and when i started and they know my story where i used to I was in college for about three years before I dropped out and I did like IT for like a year and I did culinary for two years. And I just basically decided to myself, I don't want to do this. I just want to focus on just working. So I actually didn't tell this before, but I used to work at Little Caesars back like before I started working at Walmart for two years from 2015 to 2017. How did you like better, Little Caesars or Walmart?

Walmart because Little Caesars, I worked there for five months and it felt like a prison where like they had, two windows on the very front of the place and everything else was just all walls. So I felt like a jail cell. Yeah, Little Caesar was like solitary and Walmart is like at least you get to roam around with the general population, right? Exactly. And you get to like actually talk to people. Right.

And so I worked at produce for two years in Walmart. And in 2016, I went to high school with Kyle. Okay. And nobody really knows this or wants to give me credit, but I give him credit for all the opportunities that he provided for me and basically changing my life in a different way than I was going before that. So I was basically working at Walmart. I had no plans. I had like, okay, photography was like for two years that I started, didn't really have a direction of what I wanted to do. And so in 2016, I did a part-time where I did like filming a video. I did a Starbucks

video I did with them where they pretend to be an employee. And then I just took photos for them just casually whenever I had a day off. And I would get paid like 50s. 50 bucks a day. And were they big at all yet or were they having any kind of success? What was your viewpoint on what was going on with them? They were still on the come up. They were just under a million subscribers, I believe around 700ish when I first became like when I first started taking photos of them. And how did you even engage that conversation if you went to high school with him? Like how'd you reach out? So I really didn't talk to him much during high school. He was indifferent like he was more academic. I was kind of just in the middle. And so after high school I reached out to him and I said,

I do photography. I see that you're doing really well with Nalk, and I want to be a part of it because I just, you know, basically cold called him. Right. And so he gave me the opportunity to come along and, you know, started taking photos, like I said. And I didn't really think about quitting my job because it was such a huge risk for myself,

not knowing where this could lead to, but I knew that there was a potential for this to start becoming bigger than what we initially thought at the beginning. And this was right after. Lucas left and I still remember it was like 2017 of February and I came in September so between

those months it was just them Kyle and Jesse right and so when I came along I became a third member that people started to kind of follow along and when we started growing hit a million subs still remember like October of 2016 17 actually right

and the first week I went we went to Boston New Jersey and New York. And then the week after, when we're coming back from the border, I still remember this. We're coming to the border of Niagara Falls, and we got a DM.

Well, Jesse gets a DM from Banks. He said, hey, guys, I see you. You're doing really sick with your work. Come out to L.A. and live with us in the Cloud House. Yeah. And that was like the second, third week that was a part of NILK. And then, like, reality hit me. It was like, wow, I'm actually going to L.A.

for, like, the longest time. Right. Didn't expect this. We stayed there for. about a week filmed a bunch of content that I'll consider classics now. Right. And so that was for my whole journey from 2017 to 2019. And like what would you describe as your role in all of it at that time? Because it kind of went outside of just you doing photos and stuff, right? Like you were just kind of like an on camera personality. I remember like when I first started watching it, I was

curious. I'm like, who is this dude? Like he's the only one who's like not white and he's kind of quiet and it just definitely has like a different character than a lot of the other dudes on the show like how would you describe like your role and everything yeah so i like i said i started as a photographer and a filmmaker at the very beginning of the for maybe the first year and a half and people don't know this and i i really wanted to kind of come on this podcast and really sort of tell behind the scenes of what people don't necessarily know about it was just literally us three on the road. I was the filmer, so I'd film all the pranks, I'd have the camera with a vlog, film everything, you know, I'll be the guy to like import everything, edit like some of the vlog footage here

and Kyle would film the edit the pranks. And then I'll be the guy to put subtitles in because, I don't know, like I'm kind of a perfectionist. So I really wanted to make the production of the video look, you know, super well produced in terms of like grammar, for example. example like it's it's a weird obsession where like I just like to make things look really good perfected and so that's what I started doing taking the photos a lot of the photos probably before it was like what photos I took and so that was what I was known for and people don't know that we would travel to LA like three times in a car and a master three driving from Miami to all the way cross country while still editing videos in the car and uploading them when we get to this like

next city. So people don't really sort of know what we had to go through uploading three videos a week on a Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday every single week for the past year or so. Right. And like when you're a new viewer, you don't necessarily sort of go back to the old beginnings. You more so look through the recent videos that you see and then kind of move forward from there. People don't necessarily understand how long it takes to really produce videos, how to go through the struggles of finding Wi-Fi to upload a video and not be worried about how slow it takes. And so we would go to fans' houses and upload their videos, but they're like living at Parents' House. They're like 16-17. We're just like, yeah, like anybody in the, you know,

who's got good Wi-Fi? Exactly. Exactly. We'd just be like, anybody who has good Wi-Fi, us up. We'd be down to come through, film this, and vlog about our struggles. Right. This was before we had money. We were living on a budget, really, and the production wasn't as good as it was. Up until 2019 is when we started to really start hiring more people like Austin, Adrian Alex as editors and other filmmakers. And Austin, you remember Austin? I think so, yeah. Osgard. Right. He was the main guy that would edit everything from beginning to end. So he's basically the last guy that you go through for the video to be uploaded. Right.

And so once he started kind of getting the mix, and I also credit him for my editing and my filming that I've started to produce on my YouTube. I got the inspiration through him because he really mentored me into becoming an editor and a filmmaker that I am today. And so, you know, going back, like people don't necessarily, I guess, they overshadow, what we had to go through and then only look forward to like what they see now right you know because now you look at knuck it's like wow everything is so polished well put together the merch is like crazy like how the fuck do they have that much stuff going on it's like super professional now exactly um but yeah when you were dealing with them it was definitely a lot less polished and shit huh exactly it was more struggle where tireless nights of us editing making sure this video gets up at this certain time this certain day

while still traveling to different cities and then making our way to LA where we still didn't know anybody really. Like we only knew banks and that was really it. And everyone who lived in the Faye House or the Cloud House, whatever you want to call it. And so we really had to keep going back there every single time to kind of establish our names within L.A. and get our name out there to meet people like you or, I don't know, Big Dawes or just all these other big influencers back in the day. Right. And, you know, it's a real struggle when you're also, for me personally, it's more of like I'm behind the scenes. And, you know, at times I felt like, okay, I don't really sort of get the recognition that I sort of was looking for.

Even though I don't want to be in the spotlight, at least, you know, sort of be recognized as a member of NELC. and there actually were people that actually appreciated me as a as a filmer and an editor and you know somebody that um was really you know the third member you know and and there's other people who just focused on you know Kyle and Jesse as the main guys right you know and so back in the day I just felt more like it was kind of in my head where like why don't people sort of appreciate me more right I had that mentality of like you know I was kind of like the outsider looking in in a way. You know, and sometimes when you're in that mentality, it kind of like, it eats up,

eat to you alive sometimes where your ego and your confidence starts becoming lower. And then you start feeling like you're a bit more lonely or, like, distance from everyone else because you don't really necessarily relate to them. Right. As like a frat guy or party guy. Yeah. I mean, one thing's for sure is that when you are going through, like, quickly, you know, quickly ascending and like fame and status and money and everything that it's a very underrated

challenge you know a lot of people like just kind of lose their way in that journey or whatever where you know it can be you know like knowing everything i know now if i had like a new business that started popping off it's like i feel like i would be very ready to you know handle that transformation that process but i i'm guessing that when you look back on it you don't think that you actually handled yourself as well as you could have during that time period or what are your thoughts when you look back on that? Like, do you regret how you sort of went along with everything? Yeah. Honestly, I don't really necessarily regret anything, but I do look back and I said, I wish I could have been a better person and not really sort of be rude to people and treat

them all the same because I had this false sense of confidence and ego that I felt like was given to me and not necessarily earned. You know, so when you're in that position of someone, somebody knew you always want to kind of be accepted by other people and get the recognition acceptance acceptance by other people right instead of just being yourself and letting people come to you and you know showing respect to you instead of having to go out of your way to earn these people's respect you know and so that's what I was going through where I felt like the need I needed to earn these people's respect by being a different person and not staying true to

who I was before I became a member of Nolk. Right. So when did you start to feel like there was clear divisions between you and the guys, like when you started arguing or things just seemed like they weren't really necessarily working out? I would say in 2019, when we moved to L.A. for six months. I felt like the distance started there because that's when, you know, my position as a photographer, editor and filmmaker started to be taken away from me in terms of letting other

people come in to do my job because they wanted to bring me more as a as a on-person entertainer and character and that was the transition between behind the scenes to more on-the-scenes type of transition so when more people started coming on I felt more complacent of not doing the same things I used to do because I got less responsibilities less work to do and that's why people would say, oh, you're so lazy. You have no personality. You have none, this, blah, blah, blah, like all this other stuff. But they just don't understand what the behind the scenes, things that weren't on camera that they know about. And this is the first time I'm really like talking about it where I'm giving you a first insight of what I was experiencing,

what I was feeling, and how I handled things in that certain way. So people like always want to create this assumption with narrative that they think. they know who I am without actually meeting me or getting to actually have a conversation with me. They just based their opinions and their own narratives in their head based on what they just see on camera because that's all they know. Right. And the same thing could say for every influencer or social media person like until you get to know this person, you have no idea what they go through behind the scenes or off camera and personal lives, right? And so to get back into that, it was basically me distancing myself from them because I felt alienated from doing what I was originally came as a member to do. And so I sort of started losing that motivation and that inspiration where I wasn't able to do the things I used to love to do.

Right. See, I was watching a clip of Kyle talking about it. And that was like one he one thing he said is that like he just felt like your work ethic wasn't there because he specified one time where they asked you, I guess, to review or to do subtitles for a video or upload a video or do something like that. And then they came back and they were like he was watching wrestling clips on his computer or some shit. Like when you hear that sort of story being specified by Kyle, does that ring true? What's your thoughts on that? Yeah, I'll admit it. I made a lot of mistakes where I wasn't.

really doing my job because like I said I just wasn't feeling happy in a way like I started losing that that motivation and I want things to distract me from the reality of what I was doing because I had other interests I liked more like you know watching basketball or watching highlights and all that stuff on YouTube where you know I'd sort of brutally honest be sort of bored a bit nowadays because I wasn't really doing things like editing I love editing now. Right.

And I wasn't given that opportunity and no disrespect to them. Like, this is how I was feeling in that moment and time. And so when I look back on it, I wish I could have obviously done it differently, where I could have handled it much better and addressed it openly to them and told them how I really felt. But I was just scared to get the reaction of what they would think or how they would treat me after I told them, you know? And sometimes as an overthinker, I overthought what the reactions they would get if I told them my honest opinion and feelings. Right. And I didn't, like, I was in that moment where I felt like this was the only thing left for me.

Right. How much of it was the fact that, like, they owned it or own it, right? Yeah. And you were just like an employee. Yeah. It's kind of like, it could be easy. Like, I've run into this situation before where it's like, it's easy for me to work 12, fucking 18. hours a day and it's like you know sometimes you hire somebody you want them to have that same

energy as you exactly but then meanwhile like they're just getting paid a salary so like it takes a certain type of person to like work their ass off in with with the future in mind of like I'm gonna you know so what I don't own part of this I'm gonna work and you know someday I'm gonna be getting paid more I'm gonna be part of this going for in the long term was that part of it for you where it's like was it hard for you to keep up with their work ethic given that you were just an employee um I feel like at the very beginning, I was so motivated. I was so excited to do this. And my work ethic was up there.

I really made sure my work ethic was to impress them where they felt like I was worthy of getting paid more and really earning my salary. I really put the time in to really make sure that I was doing the best I could. And obviously, over time, when you start to feel unhappy about things and you start to feel less motivated, you really start to feel lazier and not put in the same effort that you did when you first started. And that's how it started for me two years ago,

where now the transition of me becoming an on-camera personality really took away my happiness, sort of. and if people some people don't really know you could see it in the videos I'm sure you saw it throughout Europe and you know parts of LA when we were still in LA that I started to sort of feel a bit more unhappy

and like I didn't really go along with their jokes or really you know playing along and catering to their comedy or jokes that they like to do on me and I felt like I was always the butt end of the joke you know I was

easy one to pick on because I didn't really react back to them or gave them a reaction that they were expecting me to give. Right. I just gave a real honest reply or reaction where I just didn't care. I didn't want to like cater to them and make them feel good, better about themselves that, you know, I'm just like a joke to them. It is weird though when you're when you're making like vlogs and shit like that. It's like sometimes you really want somebody who's not on board for the joke because

it's like it can be really kind of boring when everybody's laughing it's like sometimes you need like the straight guy like to be able to like have like so you can say something crazy and they won't just laugh along and they'll just actually like be kind of offended or whatever that's like an actual role in comedy but it's got to be weird to sort of just inadvertently end up that guy without necessarily wanting to be that guy right yeah exactly and then when the whole um you know gay marriage and a couple started with the wine tour i wasn't necessarily on on board with that and I was too scared to say something because it's like well I just don't want to do it it's not my character that's not who I want to be like I don't want to act gay or homosexual sorry

and be a different person I just want to be a regular person be myself whether or not like whether anyone says I'm boring or have no personality this is just who I am sometimes I'm an introvert where I don't really necessarily want to express how I feel to everyone else and sometimes I am more energetic and more talkative towards people if I really give a good vibe off of them and really have a good conversation with them right so it all depends on like how you interact with me and how you dictate a conversation with me where that's how I talk to you right and so for you for you for example like I'm more talkative because you know you're you're a great guy like you're more you're very honest and you also keep it real with people right and you don't BS people right and

that's what I like about you is that you really make people well known about how you truly feel. You don't hide anything. Very hard to hide it. Yeah. Yeah. Yo, let me ask you this. What,

were you always on the same page with them in terms of like partying and shit? Because sometimes I watch their videos and I'm like, it looks so fun, but I also know that I could never hang because I could just not drink on this level for days and days and days. Was that part of it potentially? Yeah. It's funny.

I was actually talking about this last night where I would get drunk But like one being sober 10 being drunk And five being tipsy Right I was like a six or a seven Almost every night

Because I don't want to get blacked out drunk Not remember things But then I also want to remember What I'm doing So that at least like I could consciously know At least think of something Or be relatively

Aware of my surroundings And not really do anything That I will regret later on You know some people do that Like as a way to have fun Or like sort of relieve, you know, all the stress, whatever they have and stuff, whatever the case is, right? But for me, it was just more of like doing it to kind of pass by.

Just, you know, just to go along with what the whole brand and the whole video was going to. Like shotguning beers, for example. That's like, I was so new to that where the first time I ever did it, I didn't even open the tab. I just drank it straight and I'm like, oh, you finished them? Not coming out very easily. Exactly. I was like, what's going on here? And things like that were like, I had to get used to it.

And it took a lot of time before I actually, you know, started feeling, okay, like, this is, this is not bad. But I don't want to, like, go on living until I'm 30 and start drinking and partying and doing all this fat stuff. I feel you. So when, like, what was the conversation actually like when you guys broke up? Because I feel like a lot of people, like fans and shit, they simplify it down to like 905 got caught sending dick bicks. But over the years, we've seen it like kind of fleshed out where it seems like actually there was a lot of stuff leading up to that. And maybe that was just the big argument that sort of ended with you guys breaking up. It wasn't so much an argument.

It was just more of a confrontation of like, okay, like, you know, this is not the first time. He's mentioned it before. I'm sure people have seen this videos about it. like yeah I made mistakes of doing it and not really learning from it and those was a time and this is like was a time when I was so egotistical I was so self-absorbed with myself where I felt like I was better than everybody else at a time where I felt like okay I had a privilege of entitlement and like you know girls wanted me but nowadays they really want me or they just want to say I was with me because I'm famous right or I had to have a clout or whatever you want to call it and so it gave me some sort of like boost to confidence i didn't really have and so it made me feel like okay like these girls want me you know and and like i said it's just all based on entitlement and so i felt like okay this was okay and you know it's wrong for me to do it and the conversation with the whole confrontation was like it was civil it's like

i understand that i made a mistake that i shouldn't have done what i done it just all could have been avoided if I just, you know, kept in my pants. Yeah. You know, people joke about this all the time on Instagram and anywhere on social media where like they just say like, oh, you did it. But at the same time, like, who hasn't? Sent a dick pick? Yeah. I sent like maybe two in my life, but I feel like they were with girls who like very clearly wanted me to send a dick pick at that point. I do think, yeah, that's like kind of a unique thing to a lot of people. They don't really understand where the dick pick thing would have come from. Yeah. And I think we all, the main thing is that. I accept that it was unwanted, unsolicited, which that's a mistake that I made that I accept now and I take responsibility that it was a mistake that I shouldn't have done. It's a mistake I shouldn't have done and that, you know, they don't want to see that. You know, and yeah, like people, you know, people call me stupid all the time for doing it. It was like, yeah, it was in the moment of me not realizing what the consequences would be or what would happen in the future because nobody could predict the future. And so when we were talking in the visa about it, they're just like, you know what?

like we have to let you go and I said I don't understand like if this is what you want I'm not going to argue with you because it's it's a decision that I even accepted right yeah like how upset were you about it because it kind of feels like you guys weren't like it sort of must have been kind of obvious to you at that point like this is not really working out that great but at the same time it must have been tough having the cord cut all of a sudden yeah and and the thing is like I will admit that that it's not it's it's it's all right obviously not the greatest way to end a relationship with somebody. Obviously, it could have been handled differently where I could have been more open, be like, hey, guys, like, this is not working out for me. I'm feeling a bit happy. I'm not really liking the way that the content is becoming, and I don't want to be a different person. And I could have said, I'm quitting or I'm, what's the word? I'm relieving.

You know what I mean? Like, I'm just like, I'm voluntary quitting, you know, instead of being fired, because fire is not the greatest way to end a relationship or the company or a brand or whatever the relationship is with that person. So obviously, looking back, it could have been held, it could have been handed much differently, and the outcome of it today could have been completely different, where people wouldn't judge me or assume things or call me, like,

say negative things, right? Yeah. Have you done any kind of therapy or, like, done, have you gone out of your way to, like, sort of gain an understanding of, like, what happened through all this? Because I'm sure it was kind of traumatic to some extent, right? Yeah, and especially because for the first couple months,

people were wondering what happened to you what happened you like why aren't you talking about this and over the past year and a half people kept saying to me like talk about it expose them and like air out your dirty laundry to them but in reality it's more of like why should i do that why should i go out of my way to start a whole new um argument or drama that people want to see when it's not necessary right you know because at the end of the day it's not benefiting me it's only making it worse myself and making it a whole new conversation brought up again. Right. And so that's what people wanted.

I just strayed away from answering questions like, oh, something about Steve or like, even on like TikTok lives or Instagram lives, people would always ask like, what happened with no? And in the comments, like, what happened to you? Like you fell off. You did this. You're like you're a nobody now. And it's like it does take a toll on you mentally and emotionally when people consistently

say that every single day for the past year and a half, you know, bringing you down. and like basically like affecting you without and always telling you yourself that oh I could I could get through this I could you know manage to get through every single day now that you know it's just words but at the same time I've preached it before cyberbullying is still real it's a real thing and people think it's just a joke because bullying is something that happens in person and people die over it people commit suicide because they don't know how to handle themselves.

And if they don't have therapy, who do they go to? They don't necessarily want to go to their family because they're scared of opening themselves up to them and telling them how they really feel. And when you hold that self in you, you sort of result to the most dangerous things like drugs, alcohol, suicide, or getting into gangs or just whatever, right?

And so for me, it was just more of like focusing myself on what I want to do and I would be photography, video, filming, content creation. And that's what kind of drew me to sort of getting over it and starting my own journey and creating my own storyline and narrative to what people want to see me as now.

And that's kind of what helped me. And I didn't really go through therapy. Because I've told this before. I keep it short. But when I was younger, like around 13, 14 or 15-ish, I tried to commit suicide twice. Wow, really? Yeah.

And that's a whole separate story. Was that from like bullying in school or that kind of thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said this on my last podcast that I did about a month ago. And, you know, cyberbullying, bullying, bullying in person. I was treated like a nobody. I was alone all the time. So that really took into account of like how my mental and social life was as a kid.

and that obviously translated to how I was as an adult. And then, you know, I tried committing suicide the first time where I wrapped an extension cord around my neck in my brother's room. And I tried to hang myself. And right before I did that, my mom walked in, you know, confronting me about what are you doing? Like, why do you want to kill yourself? And so I went to therapy for maybe a couple sessions.

And it wasn't really working out for me because I'm like, what does this guy going to do for me? And therapy is not so much, it's not for everybody. There are people out there that do therapy. because it helps them talk about it more. And so it still happened in high school where the same thing happened where I felt like I had new friends,

I had new circle of people around me, but it was still getting treated the same way. And so nobody really took me seriously because I was just like that quiet Asian kid as a stereotype, right? And so I felt the same way where I debated it if I wanted to kill myself again. Wow.

And so, you know, if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be here today. and, you know, I want to be talking to you. Well, I mean, I've seen it on your Twitter that I think you had, like, put a bunch of your different Instagram stories in a tweet that was basically you talking about all the shit that you get from people and how that, I mean, not that you were actually thinking about it,

but it seemed like you were kind of trying to communicate to people like giving me such a hard time like this. Like, you're really playing with me emotionally. And, like, people really kill themselves over this kind of shit. And it's like, I'm sure the average person when they're giving you a hard time in the comments, they think that you should just be able to deal with it because they consider you famous or whatever, but, you know, obviously that's not really.

No, like, people go through all the time, celebrities, athletes, they talk about the mentor health. Like, Kid Cuddy, for example, dealt with depression. Now he's out here wearing a dress. Oh, is he? Well, he wore it on us and I'll lose for a little bit. Right. So it does change the people's mentalities of how they want to live their life now, right? It really does to take a toll on them.

And, you know, so for me, it was more of just like, how do I handle all of this? How do I get to these viewers that are watching my stories, videos or photos, and connect with them personally to understand what I'm going through as a human being and not as a celebrity or influencer or whatever, right? And a lot of these people are like high school kids or their young like 14 to 21 or something, they don't really know better. They don't understand the reality of what people go through or they can't relate to them because they're not at that level of their mindset where, they could understand the person's perspective and relate to it and, you know, tell themselves, okay, this person's actually just a regular human being. Right. You know?

Yeah, I mean, like one story that's in the news right now is that the tennis player, Naomi Osaka, I think it's her last name. Yeah. She's YBN Namir or Ybian Corday's girlfriend. And she, like, is this huge tennis star. Yeah. And she, like, canceled her media obligations. And I guess they find her $15,000.

because if you're playing in this tennis league, you're supposed to do all the media stuff. And that's kind of an interesting question because it's like, my mental health was not good at this time. I don't think I could handle it. And I've always been used to seeing people in the UFC or in basketball or whatever. If you don't do the interviews after the post game wrap up, whatever,

then you get fined or you're in trouble or whatever. And it's just kind of accepted that in sports, you're supposed to be tough. And that's what this is all about is like mental toughness is going to be like what determines who's graded this. But at the same time, it's kind of like, I mean, that shit is not for everybody. Like a lot of times,

the answer is not just being relentlessly tough on yourself. The answer is like giving yourself some time, giving yourself some space, like giving yourself room to feel sad and, and, etc. And I mean, I feel like that's somehow relevant to this. Yeah, like

Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, LeBron James. They're the most talked about because they have the most controversial opinions, but they tell it how it is. And people obviously, even watching this interview, they could agree, they could disagree. That doesn't matter to me. That's your own opinion. Create your own opinion. You don't have to like me, but at least try to understand, not even try. Just do your best to understand what I'm trying to say. And regardless if you want

to like me or not, I'm just going to continue living my life the way I want to and surround myself with good people. And if that's, if you don't want to accept that, that's their problem. Like, that's their own choice. And I can't change people's opinions or choices on their life because that's how they want to live. I'm focused on myself. And until you focus on yourself and worry about yourself more, you can't help other people around you. So that's just kind of how I, you know, dictate my life a bit.

I feel you. Did you see this like live stream clip that I was talking about that Kyle had where he was talking about you? Because in that clip, he did seem like a little bit more frustrated than like annoyed with talking about the subject in comparison to like when you first, left, there was like a podcast clip that came out that seemed a little bit more like they were trying to be cool about it. It feels like almost like he kind of feels like the same way you do or he's like frustrated what people always want to talk about it.

And like he just sort of lashed out in that stream clip. I don't know if you've seen it. No, I make people like tag me and it send it to me. But I didn't really watch it because honestly I don't really watch them anymore. And it's not because I don't like them personally. I have nothing against him. It's just more of like that's not the content that I want to watch or focus myself on. If you're going to move on, you.

You got to let them go. You got to a certain point. Exactly, right? And people are just like, they just don't want to accept that. Like, they're always going to remember me that as that person part of milk. And like I said, like I just want to focus myself on like photography related content, videos or editing and just other people that are in the same industry as me and focus on learning from them. And applying that to other people watching me and being able to see my own journey and my

own, you know, creativeness, right? And at some point, at some point, you just got to move on from it and accept what's going on and that we're on two different pathways. Like, they're doing the own thing.

They're doing their merch, doing the content, traveling the world. That's awesome for them. I really do, and I said this before, I do wishing the best with everything they're doing. But then people also have to sort of know that I'm doing my own thing now.

You feel like you've been on a journey of like getting better on camera and like figuring out what kind of content you want to do exactly and and vlogging is a way of really opening myself up more personally on camera and off camera where you know people get to see what I do the encounters that I meet like I get to meet people like fans I recognize me in public and I recorded because I want to show people this is what really kind of goes on with you know everyday life whenever I get recognized and there are there are good people out there that do appreciate everything I do right definitely um yeah especially like with uh with your like on camera capacity it feels like you've gotten a lot more comfortable because i attempted and then gave up on watching the interview that you did

and the before they were famous thing because i honestly made like a minute in and i was like this is too awkward like this is just not and it wasn't even all you no offense michael mccrudden but that was also like it felt awkward a shit from him too i was like i'm just going to talk to him tomorrow i'm not in this, but I feel like you got a lot more comfortable since then. Yeah, I feel like for you, it's more like you're more laid back, you don't really... Oh, but it took a long time to get here. Like, I used to be

awkward as fuck too, and it was, I would be so fucking nervous the whole day before I interview. It took like beating that out of me over and over and over to make that go away. Yeah, and I felt the same way before we were on camera. I'm like, in moments like this, I'm a bit nervous because I don't know what to expect. I don't know

how the conversation is going to go, whether it be an uncomfortable awkward situation or if it's just more of a layback where I get to be myself and not be judged by you or, you know, your employees or whatever, like listening to this. Because like, Laura is very judgmental. Her heart is full of hate. So, and like for me, it's more of like, this is the, these are opportunities that I want to sort of clear the air where I have a one-on-one conversation with somebody where they're not judgmental or biased. They have an open mind where they could hear what I have to say. and give their own takes, but not necessarily pick aside.

They just want to, like, know the truth, right? And that's what I like about people who do their interviewing role properly. I feel you. So, yeah, what else are you excited about in life right now besides doing the YouTube thing? What kind of stuff are you on TikTok? I didn't check you out on there yet. Oh, yeah, yeah. So basically, I have a system to myself where I have a YouTube video.

I edit everything up together, make a whole video out of it. And then I cut up pieces like montages or vlog footage like fan encounters or just cool places I go to and I cut them up into like 15 to 30 second videos and just put that on TikTok. Yeah. Right. And it's kind of like how people do on YouTube where they have a YouTube clip, like a YouTube clip channel where they take parts of their podcast like Logan, for example. Right. They take parts of their clips and they just cut it up to like, you know, segments. And that's kind of like what I do with my YouTube videos.

I cut it up into segments and post it on Instagram sometimes and take it. TikTok. But is it weird that you're always filming like this, but then you're also thinking about what slicing it down the center would look like? Yeah, yeah. Well, for me, it's just like, I just film it as wide as I can on my lens so that I don't have to worry about, you know, editing it to the point where like, okay, do I have to worry about the cropping size? I do it by a portrait, like, you know, portrait size. I know some people like you, you do like the full screen, which does work for a lot of people, but for me, I just like to keep it simple, and you know sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't yeah yeah yeah because if you're like fully

cropped in like this like if you're getting as close as you can possibly get then doing the crop becomes really difficult so if you leave it zoomed out a little bit it's probably a lot better yeah and that's the whole thing i in my mind i'm a visionary sometimes where i envision before it happens how i wanted to look before i film it like for example like when i was here i've logged a bit before the podcast I envision how what I'm going to say, how it's going to look and, you know, introducing you, for example, right, in my video. That's like everything is kind of pre-planned in my head. Right. And even with editing, it's pre-planned of like, how do I want this to look?

How do I want people to, you know, know the narrative of the story? I feel you. Yeah. For sure. Is there anything else that you're excited about that you've been working on? Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, my buddy's a PR. he works at agency.

So we've been connecting with a lot of other PR people in California and meeting with them and doing potential work. I did a nasty yellow pop-up event. I just kind of shot some photos and videos for them. And that was the first pop-up event

in LA. I'm looking forward to traveling more to California or just around the world and being able to work with brands and get paid to work there and take photos and videos for them as clientele and really built up my resume. And, you know,

just being able to just enjoy life yeah that's really it that's dope yeah because when i first when you dm me i was like you know what this is an interesting story because a lot of times you will hear about somebody who sort of gets like you know un ceremoniously ousted from like a vlog crew or some shit like that and you know you just sort of never hear from them again or you know they just kind of were off the map after that so it's like i'm glad to see that you through that whole process i feel like you kind of went through the process of finding yourself and figuring out who you really were yeah yeah and um I guess, and to segue into another thing, I mentioned that I've been sober now for over a year and now five months now. Wow.

Yeah. How's that going? It's going great. It's actually, I say this all the time. It saves me money. Yeah. It saves me sleep, energy, and just time in general. And I get to mentally be more healthier, physically, mentally, spiritually.

Like, it really helps me focus more and really, like, put my time into my. more better things. Yeah. And we can't all be Steve. We'll do it, man. Like, I'm watching this shit. I'm stodging him just crushed bottles of alcohol and I'm like, bro, you, your insides must be so different from mine that that actually works for you because that would be like

the end of my week right there. Yeah. Yeah. And back in the day, we would call like three, four times a week. Right. Straight sometimes. We'll call it a grand slam. Jesus Christ.

Hey, much respect. I mean, we spoke enough. weed that honestly there's probably people who look at us like that like wow you guys are like superheroes of weed yeah and um i'm the steve will do it of kush somebody write that down and the funny thing is so after hallowing 2019 that's when i first started my sobriety um i i said to myself as a as a joke like hey i'm going to go a month without alcohol weed and you know went by i'm like you know what let's try again just through december the most difficult month the entire year and i did that. The only exception was

I went to vacation in the Philippines. That's the only time I drank and it was like, okay, it was casual. It was just like, you know, a couple of drinks, playing with my family, like a game and all that. But that was the last time I really drank and smoked in like, yeah, Halloween. Nice.

Yeah, so it's been a long time. But honestly, I feel so much better. I feel better. I feel more happier in terms of like not having to be hung over in the morning or having to, you know, feel like like trash. Yeah, no, definitely. For me, once I kind of like cut that out, my life just made so much more sense because

during the time of my life where I was trying to like really work hard and party, I was just burning the candle on both ends. And you can just, you can only do that for so long. Exactly. And it really does interfere with like work and partying. If you mix those two together, it doesn't really work out. Because what do you care more about your work or you're partying to like impress people or make yourself look good in front of other people, right?

Yeah, I don't really feel like you can be that great at either of them. that like what like if you are really like I used to do interviews like I would be up fucking all night drinking and doing coke and then come in and do an interview on one hour's sleep and I mean it was I was kind of amazed with myself and proud of myself that I did show up and just do it but it was fucking hell doing it I feel like I'm gonna die during it and I mean is that interview as good as it could have been definitely not no no and I've watched past interviews where like you felt tired a bit or like you ran into situations where like it was awkward like I remember I remember you remembered one time the guy was so drunk that he came into your podcast and you wanted to do it and like your team basically like the manager's like don't do this interview and then it was like 15 minutes and then all of a sudden like he passed out of something yeah shout out to boonk I heard it's doing great now though I heard he's like real healthy and shit now yeah yeah and so like for example I mean just an example like people are the darkest times but over time if you take your if you really take into consideration your health and your mindset you really do change

who you become now and people don't realize like okay like is this the same guy he was a year and a half ago two years ago like no like i really took the time to develop myself um as a person and the people around me and being able to like be more kind to people and really show more respect to people that i may or may not know of right because you never know what their stories are you know and that's that's the thing that i've taught through this book called the subtle art of not giving a fuck oh Oh, the Mark Manson book. And I preached this before with that, that book literally changed my life. Really?

It completely changed my life 180, where now I'm accepting responsibilities for myself, the values that I have. And this podcast really, the things I'm saying right now is all sort of based of that book because I would never have come on this podcast confidently and being able to openly talk about these situations or these stories or tell you how I felt. I was so scared of caring what other people thought about me, right? And, you know, my goal is to just, like, show people that I'm changing for the better and that I'm not the same person that you saw me off camp or off of Nelk, right? Because that's basically the last memory they have of me, right? When you look back and you see those last few videos, that's the new viewers.

That's the only thing that they remember me for as, like, my last memory with us. them. And I want to change that now. And, you know, people don't have to like, sort of like it or agree with what I'm doing, but just how I want to change the, the landscape of my life and my career now, you know, and I hope that this, you know, sort of changed people's minds about me or, you know, reconsider what they really thought about me before I came on this podcast, you know? Yeah, no, for sure. I mean, I'm just, I think it's a really cool thing. that we could sort of show how you've managed to, you know, get your shit together after that and stuff. Because, I mean, probably there's a lot, there's probably a lot more people who relate to you and sort of going through these sort of issues than people who don't relate, you know?

Like, for everybody who's, like, talking shit on your Instagram or whatever, I'm sure there's more people that would appreciate hearing about the journey, you know? Yeah, exactly. And that's what I came on before I came on this podcast, that's what I was telling myself, like, I want people to hear the behind stories of, how I came to this position. If it wasn't for now, if it wasn't for Kyle, I wouldn't be sitting here right now doing this podcast with you because if I reach out to you and, you know, I didn't have credibility to myself,

you'd be like, oh, it's just another guy trying to be on my podcast. You know, who the fuck is this guy? Right. You know? Yeah. I'm a cloud chaser. What kind of say? And one last thing I kind of want to bring up to is like the whole situation with that girl.

People don't know. She was actually 20. Okay. So, like, people, that's, you know, break the ice with that. So there was a specific girl that wasn't just like a, because I thought it was like a bunch of girls or like that sort of presented that way. Yeah, it was. Okay. So it wasn't just her, but it was her specifically where she recorded it from her, from her buddy's phone and, you know, sent that to Kim and, you know, that's how it got leaked, right?

And, you know, the whole situation with that. And so I apologize to her about it. And I said, hey, like, I'm sorry for what I did. I knew it was a mistake. I know that I shouldn't have done that. And not just her, but every other female in the world should never have to experience that. And that I was, I'm taking responsibility for myself, right? And that my actions weren't right.

And that I am never doing that again. And I haven't done it since. So she actually read my message right away. And she's like, you know what? Like, I appreciate you for, for apologizing me. I accept your apology. I forgive you. and she said, even for her, she said, I made the mistake of being immature by recording that.

It shouldn't have led to that, it shouldn't have led to that situation where now that's publicly out there for everyone to see, right? She could have just handled it differently where maybe like she sees it. She messaging back to say, hey, stop this. Like, don't do that again. And I would have been like, you know, you're right. I shouldn't have done that. But because she did that, that's how I ended up becoming what it is today. And she acknowledges it.

You learn from it and moved on. Yeah, exactly. And as time goes on, we learn to change who we are because maybe we don't accept who we are right now. And we don't want to become the same person we were before. And that's how I, like I said, that's why I want to be now. I want to be somewhat of a good role model to people. and you know the only way I could do that is just show people my honest self to them you know respect yeah thank you yeah I appreciate man um anything else I want to say to the world down there

before we wrap this up um Raptors in six oh okay there we go do you ever see that video I posted what so May 29th of 2019 I tweeted out before the finals I said raptors are going to win in six Okay. And I posted a TikTok of like that tweet, the clip that I said predicting it, and then showing the lasting moments of the series when the Raptors won. And then, you know, they're like 2019 NBA champions. Wow. Yeah.

Jesus Christ. I wish I knew about basketball. One there. And your podcast is called No Jumper. And anyone who has seen me play basketball, we'll tell you no jumper. Yeah, but you're tall, though, so you have an advantage. The advantage doesn't really matter. and Pierce.

I do have an advantage, but somehow the advantage has not worked out for me. That's one thing I want to do. Once I get to the point where I actually have a house that's big enough that we got like a basketball court, if that ever happens, I'm going to actually like learn to like shoot the ball good because whenever I do like I can't remember what the fuck I was doing when I was playing basketball when I was like nine. I can't remember. I'm like, what am I doing with my hands here?

It doesn't feel right. So I'm going to figure it out one day. Yeah, one day. I mean, you could go on those celebrity basketball games. Right? Right. Well, I've seen there's an app that you, like, set up on a tripod and it traces your shot and it, like, will tell you, like, what you need to do different. Oh, really?

I was like, that's pretty cool. That's really cool. Technology is amazing. Yeah. I might get a real coach, though. I don't know if I trust the app. I hire a real coach then. Yeah.

If anyone wants to teach me how to shoot a basketball at 37, let me know. Really, 37? Yeah. Wow. You look younger. Yeah, thank you. I'm not. I'm old as fuck.

I'm only, I'm turning 27 in July. Damn. So people think I'm younger. Venmo him for a drink. I don't have Venmo. Canadians don't have cash, have Venmo, any of that stuff. You can't even use it? No.

Or you just people don't like it? Really? No. We have something in Canada called E-transfer, which is basically the same thing. Wow. Yeah. We had a house on Malibu this weekend, and there was a fucking, like, a house full of, like, girls who just graduated high school next door, and they had a van outside, and there was

writing all over the van that said, like, Venmo me for a drink. Like, Venmo me a drink. I'm thinking, like, like, you have enough fucking money to get a house on Malibu for the weekend. And you're asking people to then mo you for a drink. And it says right there you just graduate high school,

which I assume means that you're not old enough to legally drink. Yeah. Well, if you come to Canada. Get loaded. 19, 18, some provinces. First place I ever got loaded was in Montreal. Yeah, 18.

It's Quebec. I was 16. I don't even know who we got to buy us. Quebec, Manitoba. No, yeah, Quebec, Manitoba, and Alberta are the only provinces that are 18. Really? Everything else is 19. 19.

Yeah. Was there ever a 16? Because I was 16 drinking in Montreal. Nope. No, that's in Europe. We must have got a bum to buy it for us or something. Europe is 16. That's crazy.

Yeah. If I went to a bar and there was a 16-year-old kid drinking, I'd be like, all right, I'm out of here, bro. This is not normal. This is weird. Yeah. Okay. I appreciate you coming on the show, man. 905.

No Jumper. Coolest podcast in the world. Check us on YouTube, SoundCloud, iTunes. like comment and subscribe nojumby.com if you want to support and Friday we'll be listening to your music appreciate you, man. Appreciate you, too. Bye.