No Jumper - The No Jumper Show Ep # 448 with Kraig Smith

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

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Say something to you, Mike, Craig? I can't hear that mic check. Make any mic. Check the mathematics. I thought you were wearing like an R&B superstar costume or something for a second because it's the same color green. A Ninja Turtle Pop Locker, that's what I'm like. What's you feel about this shirt, man?

Rebel Vengeance. And then it's a cherub with a bow and arrow shooting an arrow. That's a good A.D. shirt right there for show. No, that's like an AI shirt. I got the Black Air Force One. They came with a shite in the 38. Oh, my God.

People can't tell. Well, they can't have, I'm pointing to them right now, but Doe Boy came in with two blunt stuff. Gorilla Fiends. They got ketchup on them, too. He was ready to eat things. Oh, dude, if I was on roast me, I would say something like that, like, yeah, you put relish on your blunts.

That sounds like a roast-me-like type joke. We got to do one up here. Yeah, yeah. No, Adam didn't like the show, so that's right. We did like a month-long series of podcasts that were essentially a doughboy roast. Oh, yeah, you guys just killing dope. We bullied him into getting on his meds. Yeah, I've been on meds.

And I'm 23 days sober. But you're back on the cush. I never stopped the cush. Yeah, I asked him. The alcohol was the problem. I think alcohol for sure is worse. Yeah, for sure. He's a whole different person.

Have you been around doughboy? Have I been around, doboi? He's very different. Like in a good way. in a good way. I've seen that, but I'm cautious because I don't know if I should like buy into it. That's how I feel, but like he makes me feel comfortable into buying into it. I'm confident in doughboy.

I felt good too, man. I felt clear-headed. You know what I'm saying? I'd be chilling. No ridiculous rants in the group chat. I got a group chat? Does everybody know about it? Yeah.

Yeah. We've been thinking about nominating you for it. You ever have one person not being in the group chat? They have no idea that they're not involved in. Yeah, that was all right in a long time. And he's a group chat tyrant, so he'll remove you. He doesn't like you arguing or too much. He'll get you out of there.

Our level, man. We've had to evict a few people out of the group chat. I've done this in my other group chats as well, my BMX group chat. There's just, there's a level of dialogue that it just feels like if you're not up to it, get the hell out of here. You're the Putin of group chats, for sure. Take out your political opponents. Putin of grouping. Nah, but so, wait, I was about to say something.

I forget. Ah, it hurts. I hate to forget one of my. Brilliant observations. But anyway, do you guys live it up for BET Weekend? I didn't. Nobody invited me to anything for BT weekend. Yeah, I didn't get no VIA.

Actually, I didn't get invited to a couple of things, but I was just like, ah, I'm cool. I seen Moose go to a 100 Thieves event. Yeah, I got to invite it to like a Call of Duty event. It was like a Call of Duty tournament. Met Ti's son. Cool guy. Which was King? King.

Yeah. King was super cool. Yeah, we like commentated on the little panel together. They invited me just to kind of come hang out. But then they saw me, they were like, hey, you from jumper right i go i sure am they go come with us yes i am and they put me on the panel i was with a qui he told me the boy if you don't you remember that guy he's like a the meme you know know where's the i off he's a streamer and stuff he said he was talking to you about possibly

interviewing him but he could have been cap and i don't know qui queer queen is like his name kw e y b i got a look at he's like a streamer dude shout out to quill he was super cool we were I'm bouncing back and forth. That's how you know you're really putting it down. I think started talking about it. Pussy start farting. Start b-boxing. Yeah.

I feel like if you're little, you like stuff in a lot of like air. There's like a lot of air pockets around. And you might, I've heard little quit makes the pussy queve more. No bitch of mine may have a quiff pocket or an air pocket down there. I'm going to read it out of it. A streamlined to design. I don't want anything getting caught to the side or in the middle or anything like that.

That's disturbing. Indeed. I agree. Wait, is you, you, BET weekended up? I don't fuck with BET weekend. Really? It ain't what it used to be, man. I mean, first of all, look, Black people. I didn't get invited to it back in the day either.

I never met it. So people are going to be like, oh, Adam, you're like lame now. That's why you don't get invited anything in BETT weekend. When I was like mega lit also, no invites. I mean, so I just want to make it clear. Like, you guys are acting like, oh, I got invited somebody. I didn't go. I've never been.

And I never even know what's happening until, like, the Thursday before. And after, right. I wonder why that is. Are there any notable whites that you know of that are getting invited? Probably like belly gang Cushington. Yeah, but he's like, we all know. Well, he's not even white. Yeah, he gets passed in.

Notable whites is a funny phrase. What about Boolet? I was just wondering if you knew of any. Does Vlad get invited? He had to be. What about Boolet Cab? What about Boolet Cab? Probably for sure.

He's like an approved white. Gary Owen. Like, I'm trying to just think of like a black adjacent white guys, you know. Well, actually, now that we mentioned it, I did go to Vlad's birthday party last night. A private dinner. And you wore a hoodie to me. You were a hoodie to a private dinner? I wore shorts also.

I didn't dress up at all. You're like really taking that Dan Blazerian like swag that you've been telling me about like two weeks ago. And then I saw that. I'm like, it's a dinner dress up a little bit. Put a shirt on. Once I got there to the place, I kind of started to be like, oh, like I'm sitting next to Carl Knai. And Ediamine and Judge Mathis. And here I am wearing shorts and a hoodie.

I'm like, damn, I'm kind of a piece of shit. What's Carl Knai been doing? Honestly, I don't know. I got to look into it. Oh, yeah, because he had like a real popping clothing line back in the day. I was called Carl Kna. I wore it for sure. He was only one K away.

That's some funny shit. What about Fubu? You know what Fubu? Yeah, for us by us. I was rocking Rockaway Sean John. I was rocking all that. You got some deadstock Fubu in the... Of course.

I have a dead stock like a giant Sean John Jacket in my closet right now. What about South Pole? South Pole, Echo, Unlimited. What about state property? You ever wore state property? I didn't wear it, but I did wear a masterpiece clothing line. I never wore that. I had some of his shoes and on the bottom it made like a tank if you put them together.

Are you serious? Birdman had. Did you get the Birdman lugs? No, but I wanted the 50 cent one, the 50 cents shoes or the G unit shoes. That's what I wanted. How old are you? 31. That's dope.

He's a collector. Yeah, about 10 years old. He's obsessed with that shit for sure. How's your closet looking? My shit is trash right now. I'm going to a bad breakup. I'm going through a custody battle right. Oh, really?

I threw all my shit out of it. I had to start new bitch, new clothes, everything. You got four shades of green on. The silky football jersey kind of told me what I needed to know, man. I get it. I want to talk about your breakup if we can at some point. Do you know how like some people just appear to have like an infinite closet?

Like lush is the worst culprit, even though I've now been informed that all his clothes are soaked in cat piss. It's like some people just see. You might have infinite clothes. I feel so limited. I look at my clothes like, I got like 10 shirts. Yeah, I got to pick one every day. That's where I'm at.

I don't know post as much because it would feel like Groundhog Day. You don't see that shirt. And you called me on one of those things one day. When you watch my gospel video, you're like, you re-rock it out. I'm like, shut the fuck up, Adam. But it's like a bull's jersey. So I was kidding because it was 10 years ago. Yeah, like, I've had many Celtics jerseys throughout my life, you know.

You're like, you re-rocking something? Same number. You got a basketball shirt? same shirt. You have a gospel song? I got a gospel. A gospel career. He has a gospel career.

He was a gospel legend from what I could sell. I made songs like Bounce for Jesus. That's a funny shit, man. Wow. And then he ate a banana out of a girl's vagina and changed his life. That's how he found saying. I lived a hell of a life. Dude, I was just watching Patrick C.C.'s new Maryland Manson documentary, and it really was,

I was thinking like, maybe I should just start telling people I'm a Satan worshiper. Because that's what he did. and it seemed like it was really good marketing-wise to just be like, yo, I worship the devil. And then so many people, they just cannot look away from someone saying that. So I don't, for the record. I don't believe in the devil.

It's crazy that he killed all those people because he couldn't get a record deal. Marilyn Manson, who did he kill? No, not Marilyn Manson. You're talking about Charles Manson. That's a different manson. That's one of the crazy. Marilyn Manson is a recording artist.

He just removed his rips and suck his own dick. Yeah. I wish, man. I remember You want to suck your own dick? Yeah, I probably give myself a song. That's so quick. You were swallowing?

I don't know. I think that might be gay. Well, if you jack off, you're giving somebody a hand job, just yourself. Especially in your car. No, but like, yo, if Jerkinov just came out right now, we would think it was gay. Like, it's only because we were taught it was normal when we were little kids. And then we started doing it when we were young.

as fuck and then you know we just kept doing it but if you found out about it right now yeah for sure it would be like yo like that's the most polished thing ever you're yourself off you got your dick in your hand what the hell but that's kind of like a reason to that that's actually argument in favor of the pocket pussy is that it's way less gay or the like wall of like vagina the sharp was banging or whatever like oh yeah there's so much less gay than putting your dick in your hand in your hand no yeah if you could go hands free jack off off. That's the least gay you could possibly be. I just ended up here. It takes it off the table.

I just put my cock here and things just start happening. I don't know what happened. That's why I got the jackoff glove. I told you about that. Yeah? Yeah. You take a jog. Instead of having with your girl? I mean, fuck. I just lost my friend. Instead of arguing what your girl have a jog, the jackoff glove. We got gay ones too with a mustache on the back of the back.

Wow. No, I mean, that's the question. How thick does a glove need to be in order for it to not be gay? because like, picture like you ever wear like a gorilla suit? Yeah, yeah. And you like can't open your phone. What, you've worn a gorilla suit? Like something you get adjacent.

How did you get here? Brila adjacent. I did. I'm not scared of. For sure. I ordered a gorilla suit off of eBay or something. Really? Like 2011 or something.

And then me and all the homies like, this is my bright idea was we had like a shirt coming out with a gorilla on it. And we like all did one bike trick wearing the gorilla costume. And it was hot as fuck in Long Beach. And we're all sweating profusely in it. And like some of us not as good at riding as the other ones. So you'd be trying the trick for 20 minutes. And like it's on the internet.

And you guys are just swapping the fucking sweaty gorilla suit. Swapping the sweaty gorilla suit. And you'd be amazed at how easy it was to talk to and hit on girls. Wow. When you were wearing the gorilla suit because you don't have to like think about like what they're going to think of you. Got a gorilla suit. It's just a gorilla. Yeah.

It's like a Halloween swag, you know. Halloween riz. Yeah. Shout out to gorilla suits. I'm not gay. Anyway My homie said he used to sit on his hand Until it fell asleep

And then jack off So it felt like that right dear That's just a different level See I always heard about that But I didn't know that that was real You can sit on your hand And make it You know how strong you gotta be there

I'm sure you can To grip through hand sleep Like hand You gotta spot your hand with the other hand And fuck that is That probably feels pretty good though Like beat your hand away I'll let you know

I'll let you think If you just like You really think you could just sit on your hand until it fell asleep? I don't think. I would take like a half hour. No, if he sit on the toilet for long enough, your legs are to go sleep.

I think that's a weight thing, being 240 and over. Yeah. You know, your legs sit in full sleep if you sit on toilet too long? Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, y'all can.

That's one thing I learned just to reroute the conversation back to our assholes. That's one thing I've really learned is if you don't want to get hemorrhoids, don't sit on the toilet any longer than you have to. Right. Oh.

And definitely don't, like, push your asshole out unnecessarily. long, you know, which it's kind of tempting because I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit on the toilet and like really get every last ounce out of the line. How do you look at it? How do I look at the blood? Theroid. How do you look at theroid? Like do you look at the mirror? You know what's there. You feel one of those prisoners. You feel it and you go to white. Right, right. Some of me like, you know, it's like a tip of the thumb coming out your ass. Yeah. Oh, see. My first hemorrhoid was this really, really traumatic thing that hurt really bad. I freaked out.

Couldn't believe this was happening to me. And now it's more just like you just kind of have. like a loose blown-out asshole where like a hemorrhoeg could kind of pop up and it wouldn't be that big a deal so it's a man loose blowout actually how do you avoid them is like a diet thing or nah this happens and shit you just get that genetic there are causes some people got strong but holes in their family okay this is crazy but the day it happened to me i was basically like meeting a girl inside the subway station in new york there's nowhere to sit i sit down on the ground for a half hour it's cold as fuck at one point a bum an old black man bum walks up to me and and just goes, you're going to get a hemorrhoids sitting on the ground all like that.

And I'm like, thing in my head like, this is a psycho crackhead. What is he talking about? I'm sure I'm going to get a hemroid from sitting on the ground. Wake up the next morning, I got a hemorrhoid. I couldn't believe it. Yeah. Damn. The cold really is like a stimulus for it.

How long do they last for? Depends on your butt resilience. Yeah. It depends, honestly, but like a couple days at least. He has a weak butt immune system. It sounds like. There's nothing you can do for it. That's just pain.

Don't they got preparation eight? You can't wipe this? It's not really done. You can laser it off or something. I wonder. I would go to a doctor that my asshole clean bit. Have you ever gotten a colonic? No,

I was just had a couple of colonoscopies. I got to get one soon. That was what Bo Jackman walked in on, right? Where? I never understood where that story came from. These are my co-host on the Bean and Out podcast. But Adam was getting colonoscopy. Colonoscopy.

At no jump. in his office and my co-host Bo Jackman stumbled upon him. Why would you do? Why would anyone believe this? Get out of here. Get out of here. Nobody in the history of the world. Adam hasn't gotten.

Nobody has ever gotten Nicole and Oscarby in their own home or at work. You do it at a hospital. They put you to sleep. Are you saying that as if you don't know that it's fake? No, I don't know. I'm not sure. That's just what I heard.

Yeah, yeah. It was some type of appointment. Oh, I mean, yeah. I've like done some. Zoom doctor's appointments, but that's not a colonoscopy, which is literally an invasive medical procedure in which they give you drugs and then put a camera

inside your butthole to look around. Make sure everything is a flip. I think it was like a pre-meeting maybe, like you're showing me doing that in my office. I know, but like this is a wild thing. The idea that I was like doing that in my office with the door unlocked so anyone could just walk in is amazing. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Mobile colonoscomy is brilliant. We should get on that. Yeah, I mean, shit. Who's going to be the first? employee. We're like an ice cream truck with like a logo that bounces around on the top like a butthole or something. Just back up to the truck. There's a little pole.

You know, that's the dream is to own like some kind of mobile business that nobody's ever thought of before. Like I'm just going to do mobile colonoscopies. Right, right. Yeah, for sure. I could change everything. You never had one though? I've had a colonic, but it's time for a colonoscopy. You know, it's time. What's the different? You're old than me, man. It's more, they go deeper in you with the colonoscomy that has a little camera at the end right.

They got the colonic. Isn't that where they like fill your house with like water? Water. Yeah. It brings out all. A little fucking you get penetrated by a mushroom tip plastic device. They put a fucking Vaseline on and everything and they stick it in you and they fill you up with water and it fucking drain you out. So you would say that's not gay because it's like medical, right?

That's not even medical. It's holistic. Oh, so you don't need to do this, but you chose to do this. Would that teeter on the line? No, I mean, you know, once you get to a certain age, you've got to get your ass cleaned out, or you might die from rectal cancer. Yeah. I just don't think cleaning the inside of your ass is likely to prevent the growth of cancer, right? I'm not sure.

If you got old shit in there, that could be cancerous. How's old shit going to make cancer inside my body? Because it's just toxic. I don't think it could be good. I don't think that's just like leaving trash in your trash can for six months. It's stink. I personally, I don't know. I feel like a colonic sounds like fake science.

No, because they're just like. They get the like the gooked out stuff because in your, in your intestine, they say everybody has like 10 to 15 pounds of fecal matter. Look it up. It's like, go ahead. You want me to look up that one? I have looked that one up before. You looked at that recently?

Like, okay. What's up? Uh, is he got the voice out? Oh, wait. Is it true that I have 10 to, what the fuck? Hey, is it true that I have, why is it not lighting up? Oh, there we are. No.

Oh, yeah. We're just talking to this bitch directly. Is it true that I have 10 to 15 pounds of compacted shit inside my intestines? Yeah, I totally get why you'd be concerned, but no, that's actually a pretty common mess. People sometimes have bloating or constipation, but there's not typically a massive amount of solid waste just sitting in there for years. If you're feeling off, it's definitely worth talking to a doctor to get checked out properly. Damn, you have a... He'd be debunking my shit, man.

I'm sorry. I feel like it might vary from person to person. There's definitely some people that got 10 to... to be right if you're 500 pounds you got to have at least 10 to 15 pounds of shit in you i got the biggest to look it up because that's like such a common thing yeah i've looked it up before but yeah i think holistic is more it's not as medical as as the other stuff yeah i think that's what it means the health claims often made about colonics such as removing years of toxic buildup and improving overall health and boosting immunity are not supported by good scientific evidence wow so she took

me. He choked me. I was right. But I'm not going to lie. Here's the thing. I felt energized after. So that's some weird shit. Like I really in my mind, which is the placebo effect.

Right. I really felt like it helped me. Like literally light in the ass. Yeah. Floating. That's a crazy thing. You know there's three lies, right? I don't know if you guys know.

Three lies. White lie, blue lie, placebo lie. White lie is like a little, you know, harmless lie. Blue lie is a lie that's told to kind of like go about your business. to get shit done. And the placebo lie is a lie that is basically has no proven benefits, but you believe it to be true.

But it's not, you know. I feel like there's got to be a fourth one that's just like a regular old lie. Right. I think that would be a white lie. The standard lie. But what if I say like the Jews did 9-11? What kind of lie is that? The Jews did what?

The Jews did 9-11. Like something that's like not true, but people say it. Like what that's bullshit or what if I say you know moose your girlfriend cheated on you Just I made it up right right right that's just a regular a lot yeah yeah I feel like there's more but now that's bullshit bullshit is actually a term That's actually a term there's a definition for bullshit it's basically lies or something that is told with no concern or regards for the truth Damn there's a lot of that out there today oh it's every lie logic. Oh there's a lot of people lying Some lying motherfuckers. But you're right.

I feel like there has to be more lies. More lies. Yeah, definitely. No, we don't need more lies. Oh, you mean classifications? More classifications. Gotcha, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it lie for pussy?

Is that a white lie? A sip lie. If a woman lies and says she's been sexually assaulted, what kind of lie is that? Mm. A criminal lie. A tough one, too, because it's very, very hard to prove that she's lying. Yeah, especially. Like, the hardest thing to prove or disprove.

Is realistically? Especially in Nevada. Why, Nevada? Yeah. assholes. Skinny from the nine. Oh. He zoomed out to the whole state.

He could have said Vegas. He could have said that six or seven oaks house. It would be a little too on the nose. Yo, that's crazy. Oh, here's Josh. Hey.

So what's up with these videos are you and Jalise? What up? Whoa. You'll be hit that. There ain't no AI. He was going to. I knew that wasn't AI. Nah.

Y'all was going 200 miles per hour in the viz. See. I saw Jalise's daughter in here. I walked right up to her earlier and told her, you know, you're smart. You're literally Albert Einstein. You are Albert Einstein. And then, like, I look over and see the TV and realize that her mom is on the news, having some insane conversation while I'm saying this to her daughter.

That might be why she's so smart. And she has such a good understanding of the world. She's been her mom's caretaker all these years. Yeah. Hey, Josh, can you toss me an ashtray, please? They called me a homeless Jig cat. That's funny. That's some funny shit.

Thank you. Bro, man. This is out of control, man. Yeah. Were you going to pick one? I wrote one for you, man. You're my friend. We should, like, pass it around.

I don't want to, like, sit here and face a blunt, right? All right. Well, last time I had one, you were like, this is a personal. Yeah, I know. It was good, right? Now I came flexing on you. I've had to hit a few people with that this is a personal over the years on here. And Doe Boy fell into that category.

I just like to be, like, if I have a blunt, it's probably, because I'm going to like maybe hit it once or twice during this podcast, but then I'm going to bring it home and face it while playing poker in my backhouse. That's pretty much my, like, ritual right there, you know? My rolling skills is trash, where I'm getting it a little bit better. Does the backhouse have another address, like a half on it? Uh-oh. Okay.

But I used to live at one of those. Yeah. Like a house? A jackshack. It's just like, you know, somebody builds a second house behind their house. Yeah, that would be dumb. But I went to somebody's house the other day, and they had one of those, but then they told me that they didn't get the permits to build it.

So I looked it up, like what kind of risks you're taking on by building like an unpermitted dwelling on your property. Do you get in trouble for, like for real for all in trouble or just? You can run into issues with your insurance or if you try to sell it and stuff like that. Drone strike it and blow it out. But my wife told me that that's like unbelievably common to do that even amongst like rich people. It's like under the table like little additions.

Just build some shit. on your property and not get it permitted. You're supposed to. You can be written it out, all type of shit. That's far. Shout out to the rich folks scamming. Yo, I just, before we get it to any actual topics, why?

I just interviewed like a extremely famous 18-year-old only fans girl. Oh, I don't know she was on only fans. Hyper, Piper Raquel, which was kind of like, I felt like I was on a minefield there. Like, I had to avoid saying anything weird. Especially because she looks a lot younger than she is too. How long? She's been 18.

I don't know. Like maybe almost a year. But okay. But she, okay, the reason why it's weird is because, okay, have you ever seen this documentary

on Netflix called a bad influence, I think it's called? No. It's basically about a girl whose mom was like managing her own, her YouTube career, starting at the age of like seven. And she's making,

you know, little kid videos and everything like that. You know, she's hanging out with her friends, whatever. and like basically like according to the documentary her mom started doing like the most fucked up shit according to the documentary oh my god like she her mom was selling her underwear to random perverts on the internet shoot her mom was like you know scripting crazy content

of like her like fake hooking up with boys all this kind of shit she denies all of it She stands on business for her mom so fucking hard. This documentary is so big. It's so popular. It's on Netflix. Probably 20 million people have seen this shit, right? What's it called again? Bad influence, I think, or something like that.

But I got the chance to interview her. And the only reason it's awkward, obviously, is the fact that I fucking do all the fans. But, like, I don't know. The interview with her, she's hella nervous. But I felt like it was pretty good. So she's the girl from this documentary that you talk about? Yeah, she's the main character in it, but she didn't participate in the documentary at all. So picture that.

Like everybody has seen this documentary and everybody views it as an accurate story about your childhood. But then according to her, bullshit. It was all good. Totally. Like she's really emphasizing like my childhood was amazing. My mom was great. My mom did everything she could for me. Like from her perspective, all cap.

Her mother participated in the doc? No. Her and her mom did not protect. Where's her mom at now? That's not slander? Her mom's still around. Okay, got you. Could you imagine being a documentary about you out there and it's not true?

Yeah, that's wild. How was that legal to fucking... I don't know. I guess they would have to... Well, yeah, that's the crazy thing is that if Netflix decides tomorrow that it would be in their best interest to make a Craig Smith documentary... Right. But you could do so, you know?

Yeah, that's crazy. This is crazy. Like, wouldn't you think that you should be able to benefit from that in some way? but I guess not you know yeah especially once you're in the public eye you pretty much can't sue for defamation unless it's something super like crazy

and like you know you got AIDS and you don't or something like that think about all the documentaries that are about like killers random killers who didn't sign on to be on that fucking documentary and now you've had your whole life put out there probably tons of shit that you disagree with and unless it's like really over the line

it wouldn't make any sense for you to sue them at all no that's true yeah at what point do you sue a motherfucker for slander. Like, I've had motherfuckers lie about me publicly. I had a chick I was smashing, and I would only smash her at her crib. So when I stopped fucking, she told people that I was homeless because she'd never been to my house.

No, Vince. You never graduated. But when I heard people saying it, it kind of hurt my feelings. I would say, unless she's a millionaire, it wouldn't make any sense at all for you to sue her. Right. And even if she's like got a million or two, it still might not. Because like the main thing that you're going to be fucking them with is making them have to get a lawyer and pay a huge amount in legal bills to fight that kind of thing.

But they got to have a lot of bread in order for it's like even justify your legal bills in order to sue somebody, which obviously disqualifies probably like 98% of people. Indeed. Did it hurt more that she was calling you homeless or that people that she was telling were maybe believe in it well here's the part so when you talk about triangulation which is a tactic used by people when they want to control you whether it's a bitch that wants to keep fucking you and you don't want to fuck her no more or somebody that's jealous and they figure controlling your reputation will make them be above you that's a sickness you know i mean if there's truth is so dope like you could

tell the truth about somebody and get the same effect as a fucking bold face lie you know what i mean so people who are wanting to lie just to get an up on you it's like once you realize what like what that actually entails on somebody's brain, it makes the world a scary fucking place. I'd rather just back up from it and not deal with it than try to fight it because it's like, it's dumb to argue with somebody. I'm not homeless,

I'm telling you, the bitch is like, I got a place to go. Like, that's dumb as fuck. Did you really sound homeless when you're not? Or even like a gay rumor. Somebody says,

you're gay. I don't suck dick. I mean, I know niggas that are gay, but I'm not like it don't come across. We seem that with me, yeah, you better not say that because if you say, oh, so you're just getting hit?

But what is it about a motherfucker lying on you that makes you want to defend it? That you want to correct the record. That you don't want people to believe a lie about you. But that's the problem is that if you're going viral for somebody lying on you, you correcting the record almost never is satisfactory. The same reason why when somebody's on trial for murder,

then you almost never take the stand. It's like you can only make things worse by defending yourself in the heat of the moment, especially. Maybe down the road you can like craft it, but you kind of just got to let people roll with it. But that's like a normal person's first instinct, which you kind of have to like unlearn once you become a famous person is.

Okay, fuck with everybody. You can't go back at everybody. You can't just jump in there and correct the record immediately. But there has to be some that are like get so big that you have to address. And then you have to pick and choose and learn like how to navigate that. It's just that like usually I find it makes more sense to like wait a little bit before you respond, even though it's like everybody's desire to just like get in there right away. And just see if it like kind of blows over and people just stop giving a fuck or what?

Like oh, just give it like 72 hours. You just don't want to jump out there and just say the wrong thing. I mean, part of it though is that like when there's a really, really good story out there, people just fall in love with it. And they don't want to let go of it. And like you fucking up their party by saying, nah, that ain't true is like just. Betrayal. Yeah, like you're the guy coming to the party and shutting it down.

And a motherfucker will stand 10 tall. on an absolute lie. Some bullshit. That's the part that's really freaky like that. A motherfucker will be faceballed up, angry, red, calling out the fade, and no truth is coming out of them. Yeah. Wow.

That's it. No, that's a scary guy right there. I'll sit there and I'm like, really tell a bold face lie. Yeah. Yeah, really. I think we have more of those in like today's times, like, since like when they were like calling women witches and shit, like, you know, that bold face lie. I think we're up to par to there with our liars.

Yeah. For sure. Yeah. That's real shit, man. What's the last? Have you ever had a woman lie on you about something? Of course. Oh, yeah.

What's like the most scantless shit? Yeah. I got, I got hit with the, you know, I got hit with the kitchen sink before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So, fuck that, man. You know, if you ain't going to say your shit, I ain't going to say much. I got. I've gotten little dick allegations from bitches. Oh, yeah. They all do that. For sure. You see the big pussy and little dick.

Most time it's big pussy. Yeah. I had them with big pussy right away. As soon as they say that. Oh, yeah. No, your pussy's loose. It's normal size. Yeah.

Everyone else was fine with mine. What the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never had any complaints before you. This exact moment is the moment that the complaint started. Nah, but that's like every guy, low-key, like, knows that their dick game is trash, and you just carry that around with you, and you just hope that a girl won't ever expose it.

Yeah. I agree. But it helps that, like, girls, that's their first thing, no matter what, even if it wasn't trash. So it's kind of like, it's like calling everyone a Nazi. Now it's like not as bad, you know? It's like everyone's dick little when you break up with him. So it's not as bad no more. This pussy's overrated.

So anybody that's super enthusiastic about the same pussy, something is, you know what I mean? After you fuck a bitch about 10 times, and I say about 20 times, now she's just like a regular person. in my book yeah yeah a regular person that like has fake boobs dangling off of them and all these other things that like before you fucked had like an outsized effect on you

and now that you're used to fucking her just don't really seem all that impressive placebo effect yeah it's all in your mind that's crazy because like but this is the difference between now and then when it comes to women is that I think when I was young and I would nut with a girl

I would just become like grossed out by her right away and just want to get away from her. Right. And now that I'm like 40 something, like I still want to like maintain contact. Like, right, right, right. I still want to hold on to you. Because I'm just like permanently hornyer. I feel like the older you get, the horninger you get and the weirder you get like with it.

I agree. Do you, when you fuck bitches, do you use, will you sleep at their house or do you leave? Well, I mean, it depends on the vibes. But I'm leaving. I used to sleep over a lot. I don't trust bitches. When I'm nut, I put the nut in the bag and take it with me. That's how much that I don't trust bitches.

Just scoop it with the plastic bag. Yeah, put it in a zip lock bag, a dime bag, and just fucking go. I'll just go with the Drake and put the hot sauce in the condom. That's really a thing. Kill them all off. No, they just said that Drake did that. It's just the loudest thing to say. But you know, you get the more neurotic you get as you get older,

the more you get to your routine. Like now, I can't imagine going to sleep without brushing my teeth. Really? Like that just seems like uncivilized and I would not put myself in a situation where I wasn't going to be able to brush my teeth most likely. What about flossing? Isn't that more important? Even that. Like I need to flossing.

I've been flossed a lot lately. I've been flossinged a lot lately. I've been flossing after like every meal. It's kind of crazy. You ever bite into a sandwich and see like a bloody bite mark? Like the meat is so rare? No. Gug's bleeding.

Gingivitis. You have Gidivitis? No, I'm just saying. That's why I floss. so I don't see that anymore, but there was a time. Yeah, that's early onset, ginger bonded for sure. Early onset. That's not ginger, that's stomping viking.

I feel like when I was younger, I would eat breakfast and then spend the whole rest of the day with, like, food stuck in my teeth and not even consider removing it, which just sounds insane. You got to take that out and chew it again. I'm going through that right now. That's not spinning a block. If I could be a little snack for later. If it was something I could get with my nail, sure. But like, you know, there's pieces in there that you can't get.

No, that's like the worst feeling. I can't think about anything else when something stuck in my teeth. Like, it's just. I used to get in trouble at breakfast because I'd be like, what's for dinner? What's for dinner? Like, I'm like, let's the fuck up, Tony. Shut up headquarters. How many back teeth are you missing?

You still got all the wisdoms out. I got all the wisdoms out. I just got two wisdoms out on the top. but I still got the ones on the bottom. That's how you make money selling back teeth during BT weekend. Niggas don't. Why do they want that? Because most niggas are missing at least one back tube.

And whistle when they talk. Missing the side tooth, especially when you're on camera. It's a black thing. It's like a black birthing mark. It's like Nadi and eggs. I think it's Nileger. Niggas is saying that, we got to talk about that. Yeah, we got to talk about who said that.

That was my segue. Great segue. This is a pro podcaster right here. Tony Henscliffe dropped his special last night. And what was it called? It was like a week or two. A week or two. Yeah, yeah.

Last night. We watched it last night. To us to drop last night. Yeah. What was the name of it again? Do we got the name? Gringo Poppy 2. I don't know what that shit was called.

It was called. I literally just watched it today too and I didn't, I don't remember what it was called. Shout out to Tony. He was dressed like a salsa legend. He had to tuck the shirt with the head. He really is representing that he's from Texas with the belt buckle and the shirt and shirt and everything. That was, it's like a zesty, Texas vibe.

Yeah, definitely Austin, Texas and a nutshell. His first joke was zesty as fine. It was about everyone thinking he's gay. Well, he wanted to nip that in the bud because I think I even did that when I interviewed him back in the day. I said something like, like I thought he was gay because he's the kind of dude where, like, you could justifiably assume he's gay based on his voice and he's not, and he's just got to live with that.

Right. And so that's, like, interesting that the first thing he does in his special. So this basically says not gay. That's the rules of cut. You're talking about the obvious first. The special was called Man of the People. So that's the name of the special. That's what you dropped.

My thoughts on it, man. Listen, man, I rock with Tony, man. You're a good dude. But man, this wasn't it for me, brother. I just felt like he was, it just felt like he just was just saying racist shit and then looking for a punch line to go with it. Like it didn't feel like it was thought out material.

I have never really seen his stand-up. I think he really thrives at the kill-tony thing. That's like an ensemble thing, but like that being on stage by yourself is a different beast. Like Greg, I can tell you, like, it's just you in that microphone. So, and then just the fact that he was doing,

and how do you feel about this, Craig? I'm willing to get your opinion in YouTube or everybody's opinion. I feel like crowd work is killing stand-up comedy. I don't agree, but I understand why you say that. But let me tell you the reason why, because I feel like, you know, back in the day when niggas would drop a special,

that means that shit was special. Like, you know what I'm saying? Nigger than created an hour based off two, three years of trial and error and working this shot and polishing it up. And so now the crowd work has become so prevalent. Like, niggas is doing in their specials. Like, niggas is doing whole specials. And I'm not mad at that because I know a lot of these niggas are great at what they do. But I just think for the original artist stand-up is making that suffer.

Because now, even if you go and do company now, like people in the crowd start yelling shit out because it's such the culturalist thing. They want the moment now. So now, fuck this hour that I wrote. to sit there and go back and forth for 20 minutes because everybody's a part of the show now. So what are your thoughts on that, Craig, like as another stand-up comedian? His crowd work, I mean, was such a big part of the special that clearly he intended that to be the case. Right, right.

I think it's more so the vibe of the crowd work. It's like the vibe was seeming like the jokes weren't hitting. I'm going to get into this crowd work and hope this will save it. That's the vibe that it was given off to me. I'm not going to love it. It just felt a little, like, off, you know, for me. It just wasn't landing up. And he was even saying the crowd work wasn't working.

And he was like, you just messed up my joke. I just explained this two-minute joke, and you're an Asian lady that drives well, you know what I'm saying? So this doesn't work. Let's move on. I need to watch it a couple more times. I know killed Tony. He's a talented guy.

I don't know, man. The opening joke was, it was kind of weird. And one of the punches in the joke was him and a guy were going 69. And that proved he wasn't gay because his dick wasn't hard or whatever. You know what I mean? A suck off. Whoever gave first. He was just challenging somebody to do.

do that. We'll do a 69 and then we'll see who gets the hardest. And I get it. Which I think makes a lot of sense. I get it. No, the joke was cool. Was well written. But I don't know, man. I see like hypocrisies in that joke, man, where I feel like Tony could do better. The special was cool. I would watch it again. Maybe I have to watch it a couple more time. But when I watched, I got kind of disappointed in the gay community because I feel like they allow they allow white guys to play with their lifestyle. The gay community? The gay community.

Like, I feel like white guys can play with the gay communities. They can make gay jokes. They can talk about, they can say gay things, but there's never any backlash. Like, if he was a black or brown comedian and he made that joke, I feel like it would be a bigger thing.

Like, well, you should only be able to talk about getting your dick suck if you've actually, like by a man, if you've actually done that. That's not true. Let me give you a little pushback on it. You remember back in Lippic Color?

Remember back in Lippet Color? They used to do that men on film shit. Right. They was clearly two gay dudes, you know what I'm saying, doing the movie review. So you were saying, niggas let niggas get it off back then. So I think that's pretty gay, niggas let niggas get it off. The idea that, like, that straight comics shouldn't be able to joke about gay people is absurd. Like, it's just, like, unrealistic.

Well, he also said the F word. He did. I think there's other aspects. You get what I'm saying. Like, there's apocracies, right? Like, when I, look, I love Tony, but when I watched, I was like, wow, if I would say that, I would get blackball. You really think it would? I feel like it's not that bad these days.

I think it is true, but it's not because it's just like a random double standard. I think there are like societal like aspects that play into it with like, you know, they're being a little bit more of standoffish from the black and even you can say Mexican community. Then the white community when it comes to gay people, just in a general consensus kind of way. Like white boys, I went to high school with a lot of white boys. They play gay all the fucking time. Black dudes don't do that. So it's like the jokes do come off different.

because a lot of people have that in their mind. White dudes are playing like this. That kind of gives more of an acceptance. When black dudes you play gay, they might beat you up. That shows it against them. I'll give you guys another example of a talented white guy who did something similar, and there was really no backlash. Andrew Shultz, dope-ass comedian.

When he got into that back and forth with Kendrick, where Kendrick said, it's law, you should never let a white boy talk about black women. What was Andrew's response? I would beat the fuck out of you. I will rape you. Stop me. Right.

Do you understand what I'm saying? That objectively probably is true. Because Andrew is an accomplished boxer, as I understand it. He's a lot bigger than Kendrick Lamar. Size don't matter. But how is that? Yes, it does when it comes to raping. But accomplished boxer is crazy.

I know. It increases my chance. I believe he's not boxing his whole life. I just honestly believe, okay, if you can knock somebody out in a fight, like even if it means going to the ground or choking them out or whatever. You need to rape them. Then you can rape them.

And I do believe that if we locked Andrew Schultz and Kendrick Lamar in a room, Kennedy's getting raped. I don't know. I don't know. I disagree with that. But okay, who do you hate? Who's going to save him?

So I haven't. That's what if he knows. Jiu-it-so. I don't think it's going to be a lock where it's just like they just get both give up. I think Andrew wants that butt and he going to get it. But here's what's weird about that. certain personality types only hang around with people that if it went if they had to if they had to rape them they could do it

you get what i'm saying it's not one of those people i'm not saying that i'm saying that many that i was yeah i can name a bunch up top of my head and you're andrew shouts and you're going to crack that joke i'm going to tell you nah right nobody said nah right and that's probably because it's a bunch of niggas around him that he could rape if he was into that type of shit. There's no way that I would ever let you go on stage as a comedian and tell a joke about another male you're in conflict with that entails you, right? I just doubt, you know, but anyway, I forget the context, but yeah, I would generally say that that's a weird thing to say.

Like what Mike Tyson used to say. So that's what I'm saying. I've never felt tempted to say that about another dude that I've been beefing with. It just wouldn't really, wouldn't really happen. Also, like what Kendrick said while I disagree with it is not nearly as offensive as like, I'm going to rape. So tamed. Don't talk about black women. I'm going to rape.

What? It really kind of like proves Kendrick's like overall point, which is that you're a piece of shit. Shout out to Andrew Schultz. He actually called me the other day. But yeah, like I felt like that was an outsized response in that moment. Right, right. That's why it's not advantageous for rappers to be for comedians because rappers are limited by the bullshit. it, you know what I mean? A comedian can take it. I was really worried about the Kendrick and Andrew

thing because I know what Andrew's capable of. And I know how, I know how complex it is to write jokes as compared to writing rhymes. And I was glad it didn't go further because I don't think a rapper, no matter how dopey is, has a real, has a real chance and a beef with a comedian of a similar stature. So we had this conversation not that long ago, which takes more skill being comedian or being a battle rapper, I said comedian and everybody at the table disagree with me, including doughboy. Yeah. I mean, it just

I say comedian, but it could be, it's too different though, you know what I mean? Have you done a battle rap before? I have, but not like in that sense, I've done it like in crowds, battles. You know, I was saying whatever when I was battling. You know, it was like. On the block in Harlem or something.

Then they break dance. But we used to battle, we used to battle to beats, which is a way different science. You know what I'm saying? I don't even think battle rap should be considered, it should be considered its own element.

You know, you got the, what is it, five or four elements in hip hop, break dance. I think battle rap should be its own element.

It's like theater, you know what I'm saying? It's like a play almost. But nobody gives a fuck about it anymore, unfortunately. It feels like it's really kind of gone the way of the dodo. Yeah.

It has its own community, but that community is so separate from hip hop. But I guess you can say that about everything because break dancing is like an Olympic sport. It's its own fucking world

that we don't know anything about. Most break dancers probably aren't like Subtinos are going crazy. The Chabawakis. The biggest break dancers are like completely separated from fucking actual like hip hop and vice versa.

Right, right, right. And then like graffiti, you know, like some people, like, you know, if you do graffiti, it's probably like a pretty good chance that you listen to rap, but the average rap fan is in no way educated about graffiti. No, they don't know artists or anything. And that shit is very difficult.

It's crazy. But it's definitely just like a totally different thing. 100%. 100%. Wait, so Tony Hunchcliffe, my personal feeling was that it did just feel a little too long-winded with just the racial thing. Like Andrew Schultz or someone who like pushes limits when it comes to race,

but it just felt like this special to me felt a little like one note of like, let's just see what we can do to sort of push the limits of racial humor. as a white guy to what seemed to be like a largely non-black audience who was like totally on board with like when he said like

they was gonna say the N word you know that they all like actually really wanted him to right for sure um I don't know I personally I'm kind of like a stand-up hater there's like not that many stand-up comics that like I could watch a special from

and actually appreciate it to be honest like I just usually find myself on the side of not loving it and uh yeah I didn't love it I felt like it was a little it'll give comedians time to really work jokes no more. It really takes like five. It takes really takes like five years to come with a dope-ass hour.

Right. But most cats are doing it in like a year because they blow up via social media. They get a big following. But to get a fire-ass fucking hour, it's going to take you like five years. But I feel like if I had criticism from me personally, a lot of times when I was stand-up, it just feels like formulated. It feels like over-rehearsed. It just feels like kind of obvious to me.

I just feel like I, you know, and I feel like this sentiment is a much larger. now than it used to be a few years ago but I just feel like when I watch comedy like I remember seeing my girl got me Joe Rogan tickets six or seven years ago like for my birthday or something we went to him to do stand up and I just remember watching him and just thinking like how is there not more being said publicly about how bad this is really and now I feel like that conversation is so loud and I'm like okay there it is because I just I was taking in the back when I saw him like. So you don't really prefer like material and stuff. You like the more like the freestyle stuff, the crowd work, like if you're in the audience. I mean for me personally

like consciously or not like I watch all these comics do podcasts and I just don't care about watching their stand-up for the most part. I can see that though because it's way more interesting. Conversation is way more interesting. To me, yeah. And to a lot of comics probably have like just as big an audience or in some cases bigger for their podcasting stuff. And I'm sure we can all like Joe Rogan's kind of an obvious example where he's like an expert tier podcaster and then like really like not that successful comedy wise and I think like a lot of comics would say not very good. That's the worst part about like comedy podcast.

That's like, you know, it's elevated people that are funny on podcasts to have everybody thinking that they're the top standups in the world as well. You know what I'm saying? I think it is a way big different thing. We should make a tier list of the best podcasting or stand up podcasters out there. There would be longness. And we're all toying with the idea of being podcasters turn comics, which for some reason, each allows the person to believe that they could do the other,

even though there's not that many examples of people. They're closely related. They're closely related. They're cousins for sure. You know what you do well? When you read stuff and you like, you almost turn into a character when you read stuff, it's a good skill to have. I think you'll be a good actor.

Because if you just get you, for real, it's not a good. voice actor. I feel like, I feel like, because you did it when I did that stand-up joke and you read and then when you read other people's text messages and you put your personality on it, like sarcastically reading something. Yeah. It's like I think that there's a skill in that and you possess it. So I think you should lean into that.

So yeah. But yeah, I like Tony Hinchcliffe. I just think like Adam was saying, I agree that it was like a little too on the nose. This is what I want to say. And let me see if you guys agree with this. I think we're at a fork in the road creatively and stand-up where now there should be a separation and split because they can both be great. I think if you go to a show and you want to see crowd work,

like Grace like Matt Rife, Nate Jackson or, you know what I'm saying? Like that's a lane to go. That's, you can see that. You'll be a part of the show, whatever. But then on the other side, when you come in to just see material and just let your motherfucker get off for an hour, that's just stand up and then come of that. Because I think when you try to mix them too much, it's like, then you're trying to make both of them be each other.

And they're two totally different skill sets, different audience. Like, you know, something like Richard Pryor would sit down, motherfuckers would sit down and shut up for an hour and a half and Dave Chappelle has done it. Like, that's a different... But they can do both. Like, all the greats do both really good.

But I just think that when you blend them too much, because that's like it sucks now because I'm going to shoot a special in August when now I'm starting to get back on stage. And motherfuckers are just, you can't get two minutes in without a motherfucker just saying something because they want you to roast their ass. That's not my skill necessarily is to be a roaster in the moment. But I wrote these jokes.

Let me get the jokes off. So I just think there should be a split. And... I can see that. You got to overwhelm you got to do battle with them, though. You got to like, roast a motherfucker. I got to, but I just... You got to be ready to go with it.

You can't do some Kyle shit and just fucking sit there and get your boob juggled. I know, man. I haven't been the same sense. Yeah, but I respect when they label it like, this is my crowd work special because I see people do that. Right, right. And there's hope at it.

And everybody... He dropped a dope one, you know what I'm saying? Niggas are also running when they say that. What's that mean? When they say this is a crowdwork special, it's because... They know how tough stand-up is, so they don't want to put,

they don't want you to put a stand-up comedy standard. Oh, sure. I get that. No, no, for sure. You know what I'm saying? It's like, this is a mix-take. Exactly. Like, nah, niggas, all comedy,

if it ain't funny, it ain't fucking funny. Stop hiding behind the fact that you didn't go out there and work like you should. I get that. But the problem, I think another problem with comedy is there's no viable, uh, underground financially. You know, in hip-hop, you have the mainstream niggas,

and then you have the underground niggas. So there's a check some, Balances and you have underground niggas that are just as rich as the mainstream cats in comedy. It's a culture completely Uh, controlled by the establishment is controlled by agencies and fucking corporations. So there's no, uh, there's no grit. There's no intellectual integrity to it. Whoever is the most popular motherfucker is going to get the mic and the attention of the people. And that's why the craft sucks because you can't like if you say you don't like to kill Tony special, there's nothing to compare it to. You. Even though there's niggas out there that are monsters,

there's nothing that you could buy to compare it to. So people could be like, now, this is the shit. Okay, but not exactly, but there's like, you know, every big city in America has, like, comedy clubs where you could just go see random people do comedy, right? Like, there is like a, not like a middle class, but like a very, very low class existence that probably like a pretty decent number of aspiring comics

are able to cobble together through, like, YouTube, podcast, maybe with some ads on, Instagram reels, TikTok, whatever, like, plus doing some stand-up. Like, I mean, there's kind of like, I feel like that's a valid path, right? I think, I mean, I feel like it's a little bit, it's valid. It's one of the, we all come through there, but there's like no finite. This is what I mean, like, in the world of comedy, it's ram by drink sales and fucking food sales, right? That's what comedy clubs are in it for. So that's why the most popular motherfuckers get dates, because people come,

there to see them and they buy food and alcohol. But doesn't that make it a meritocracy and isn't that what we should like probably hope for for a subculture? I mean, it's capitalism. Yeah. So it's free market. So that's dope. But hip hop is so dope because it doesn't

really need the validation of anything outside of itself. But hip hop is the same thing is you got to be popular. Like, you know, that's basically like what determines who's able to make a living, right? Mitchie Slick record back there. Right. That doesn't really exist in comedy.

Mitchie Slick is a legend on the underground, right? But people like Mitchie Slick don't, I mean, I would probably be like a Mitchie slick or, you know what I mean? But we don't exist in abundance in comedy. Like, there's no way you can go buy and consume, you know, an underground comedian on the same level as you can, like somebody who's. But a rapper would say the same thing about the fact that especially now, it used to be kind of dope in the sense that you would, you know, drive around and like sell CDs out your

trunk. But now, you know. I bought a CD. off of E40 when I was 10 years old. But now all you can do is like encourage people to stream your music, which is like really earns you so little money per stream that it's like kind of a joke compared to, you know, selling CDs for 10 bucks out of your trunk back in the day. Right, right, right.

But Craig, you're saying like the comedian will always need like a club in that audience there to even perform and do they thing. Right, right. Or a rapper could just go straight to the internet. Check it out. Check it out. Like, I'm a guy that can sell out clubs and people. probably every major urban area where there's Negroes and Spanish people, right?

But I'm not going to get the type of calls I should get because I'm not signed to any agency at the moment. So the way the agency game works is, you know, they'll say they'll have cats that are a tier signed to the agency like fucking Kevin Hard or any of those motherfuckers that were on the Kevin Hart roast. And the way that they bully the club system is they'll say, okay, if you want Kevin Hart to come to Sandusky, Ohio, you got to put my guy. dough boy that signed to us up or you can't deal with none of our A-list artist. Right. You get what I'm saying? And you, but they'll get weekend spots Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And then you got a little guy from Sandusky, a little 21-year-old guy that's like the next

Jim Carrey. He can do voices and impressions and he's fucking weird as fuck, but he's funny and people love him and he won't get the shot. They'll give him a show maybe Tuesday at 5 o'clock when everybody's at work. You know what I mean? So he has to move to L.A. and try to get discovered in order to get into the system. You get what I'm saying? When rap, you don't already have to,

you don't have to move to Hollywood if you're a rapper. Right. You could be anywhere in the world and fucking go. Just hit upload. It's just, being a rapper is so fucking hard. I feel like way, okay. It's like being a roach,

niggas somebody's going to step on you on. If I could be a rapper making a hundred grand a year or a comic making a hundred grand a year, I would, I would say I would way rather be the comic. Because as the rapper, There's just so much bullshit that you have to deal with.

Like, you just like, assuming you're not like a fucking niche, like, you know, peaceful type of rapper and that you're like some sort of like street coded rapper, which is probably like the average rapper that the fans out there think of. It's just so dangerous and controversial and like just a comic in comparison. Like the fact that like you will see a big comedy show and then you'll see the same comics from the comedy show hanging out with all the fans in the front of the club, smoking cigarettes and drinking beers after, and that there's no security,

it just kind of says it all. Like, rappers have to move like kings in order to, like, avoid the constant threat on their life that they are, you know, sometimes imagining, but, you know, sometimes it's a real thing. Like, I don't know. It's just, I would weigh, right. But also, I just feel like to make $100,000 a year as a comic

is, like, way easier than to make $100,000 a year as a rapper. I would agree. these days for sure. And even the audience is like people like, you know, if you get like rappers, you get some aggressive audiences, but like with comedians, people are coming to laugh. So it's just like it's going to be a more chill environment.

And, okay, rap is seemingly like unproven as a thing that will continue to bring people out to go to a live events. It is so like, it's not to say it's dead, but it's just so much less prevalent than it was a couple years ago, I feel like, whereas like with stand-up, like if there was an equivalent to stand-up, up with like people being willing to go to like random uh like a like a hip hop club to like just see random rappers right that's like impossible to imagine but people will go to a comedy club

just to see comedy and maybe they know like one guy on the bill and that's why they're never even heard of but they'll gladly sit there and watch five six guys before him for an hour or whatever but like in hip hop like i mean you see how it is when you like go to a show and they have a random person opening for the fucking yeah the my If you can't do this and people don't know your shit, I don't know what the fuck. People hate music that they have not heard before. But in comparison, people love seeing new comedy,

and most people would not go to see comedy that they had previously seen. I think it's easier to stand out in comedy, too. Like, we're rap, like, it's just tough. Like, everybody's tough. Everybody's got a history in the background and, you know, all of that other shit. But with comedy, as long as you funny,

it don't really matter. It's like, you could look however. It's no really set look. or shit that you have to talk about. Like, if you're funny, if this was, say, 200 years ago, most rappers would be in jail

for violating sumptery laws. What's a sumptery law? There used to be these things called sumptery laws where it was actually illegal to act like you were rich. If you wore silk and you were a poor man, they could put you in jail.

Damn. Huh. Sumterry law. So faking you make it had consequences. No, because that was a classism. This country was, was established based on feudalism and that that's classism nights nobility poor so they've really took the class shit fucking serious you can't say you're this if you're not this well yeah that's

the first thing I popped in my head is just the difference in image you could be you know bummy as hell as a comedian you come out bum me as hell as a rapper it's like that overhead got to be right and that had a kid you'll go quick can you like if you're a comic can you pay other comics to interview you i think you like to be on comedy podcasts? Have you heard of it? I've never done it. I've never had people pay me to be on my podcast, but they had like products.

Barbecue spot fucking whatever, you know what I mean? But I've never taken money from a comedian to be a, no, you can't really, I mean. Pay to play. You could, but it's just like we're, you know, rappers charging each other's for features. Like, they don't do it for the money. Like, you know what I'm saying? If you fuck with somebody, you know.

But I'm just saying like rap is weird in that sense because like, think about the fact that like rappers largely expect to get paid for interviews at this point. Really? Oh yeah, yeah. Or like, especially somebody like Boosie who's like got a consistent fan base. Everybody knows that if you get a Boosey interview, you might make 10 or 20 grand or whatever it is. So what does he charge?

30. He was charging Vlad 25K for an interview. And Vlad was estimating that he would make about 35K off of the interview. So Vlad was like making 10. grand and Bousie was getting 25K and then basically Boussi who started trying to ask for more Vlad said he couldn't do it. That's why they had their fallout. But then Ari Spears saw that dynamic playing out online. And this is why us as hip-hop interviewers, if we were a gang and comics were the other gang, we upped the score on y'all because Vlad, when Ari Spears tried to

demand more money because he was paying Ari Spears like 4K about every month to do an interview. and then Aries, when he saw that Boosie was getting 25, he hit a Vlad tripping trying to increase his rate. And Vlad basically was like, listen, like I guess they had increased it multiple times. He started at 1K. And then with the 2, 3, they had just gone to 4K. And Aries Spears tried to ask for more.

Vlad didn't appreciate how he came at him. They had a whole little disagreement about it. And now they are currently not on speaking terms. I think God gave Ari Spears his black eyes. because these motherfuckers have never won away. How do you have a permanent... Yeah. Raccoon face.

Ari Spears is a very interesting individual. Another podcast in a morning, he came on there and got into a fight on there. He always looked like he just woke up. You just wake up? I can tell that he does... He figures out a way to make people upset because some of the shit he says,

I know he doesn't believe it. Well, you know, I fuck with Air Spears, But for the record, as bad as he may look on camera, he actually looks worse because that was part of what Vlad was upset about was when Vlad was describing how accommodating he was being the Aries, he included the fact that Aries asked for there to be a makeup artist on set for every episode, which costs Vlad, whatever, like a couple hundred bucks. That's crazy. We get hemorrhoids and hemorrhoids get Aereoids. Aeroids. Airroads. He acts for a makeup artist, though?

Yes. Every single. Yeah, they had to get them out of my eyes, nigga. That's some funny shit. And then he needed, like, a budget for, like, paper towels to wipe his forehead, too, right? Yeah, apparently. He's a big sweater. Yeah.

And he got napkins one day, and he, like, threw a fit, like, I can't use napkins. I need a rest of the do. One time nobody was eating, and he got some food on his napkin, and he ate the napkins. Call the part of the shit. Yeah, I wonder if you just ate napkins. If you could, like, fool your body into thinking that you were, like, full. I wonder, is there-soaked in chicken broth or something in that he did? Let me see if y'all ever did this.

Have you ever ate a cupcake? And then chewed it and then dug it out the shit and ate it again? And then chewed the rapper. I never chewed the wrapper of a cupcake. That's fat. Hell no. That's funny. I've done some shit like that.

But you, like, chew it's all the residue breaks off. Yeah, it's like a whole other cupcake. You're out of the bucket. All right, y'all ain't ever put peanut butter in a cup, put it in the microwave, melted it, and dip toast in it? No. I didn't even know peanut butter could be melted. I didn't even know it melted.

I thought it was already in the butter, no. At this viscous queen. I'll put y'all on this fat boy shit. I'm going to start making that shit. Fat boy chemist over there with the peanut butter. For the record, paper has zero calories. See? Aren't there different types of paper?

It did say that they're like, Rice. Cupcake paper. Yeah. Y'all ain't never chewed. I mean, are y'all just flexing for the camera? Why were we to chew it?

Flexing for the cup. Cupcake in there. You chew it until you get all of the, like, icing and stuff off of it and then you spit it out. You don't eat it, right? Oh, you eat it? You eat it? Oh, no.

That's flying in your intestines. He's 15 pounds of shit. I didn't swallow it, but I ate it. I tell you what I have done with peanut butter. This shit is fucking fire. You have to try this shit. Oh, shit. Pancakes, waffles, fucking.

French toast, peanut butter, and then the syrup. No, for sure. That shit is fucking. With the egg-o waffle? You bust it down. Tell them how incredible this shit. Yeah, that shit's fire. No, I know how good putting peanut butter on pastries tastes for sure.

Oh, yeah, for sure. Hey, that's another thing that Tony Henscliffe tried to say on his special that niggas don't eat eggs. Ain't that some bullshit? Nick, we eat eggs like a mug. I looked it up because I had never heard that before, and I guess it's like a meme on the internet. Cheese eggs.

Yeah. My black homies always always eat cheese eggs for sure. I'm going to ask Tony, though, when I see them because, look, I don't feel like he really had black friends growing up. I feel like he may have had a friend or maybe like, you know. He said he did. He said he did he. Okay, well.

In the special, he said he grew up with black friends. Oh, well, there we go. My bad, I got to watch the whole special. Yeah, but, uh... Yeah, the jokes are coming off like that. That group chat text, the group text chat joke that he had, I won't go into it and spoil it.

That wasn't my favorite, but they got to ask a moment. I thought that shit was hilarious. I was like, yeah, it was funny. I'm trying to. think of one of the jokes that I like for him but honestly like it was a little rough I'm not going to in the future like the one thing that I will remember from this comedy special was that one like vaguely Asian looking dude that he was roasting who like really looked like a killer who was just sitting there with just a terrible look on his face like I don't think I'm ever going to forget

about that yeah he looked like he was not enjoying his time same with the the dad and son he's like have you ever fucked a girl together I'm like no he's like I'm good bro like oh no what a disgusting It was not hitting at all. It's just like, what are we talking about here? It was uncomfortable. Yo, I know. I was feeling about that Asian lady that he was bugging. I'm like, is she going to, like, have a job next week?

Or is this, like, serious enough that I could, like, fuck her whole life up? Which one was this? No, he was just talking to her about driving. Yeah, yeah. He was saying she ruined the bit because she said she's never been in an accident. Oh, okay. That was the whole thing. He's like, I wasted my time.

Yeah. That was a, that fell flat on its face as well. I'm not going to lie. Damn. but I like Tony I like Kill Tony you know what I'm saying He's better on the roast than that stand up for sure And that's okay

Because you know He might spend back and have a good one But that just won't That was the best thing Yeah he has one of the biggest podcasts He will be okay I mean some people say the same thing about Joe Rogan Like he's a really good podcaster

But his standup ain't bad ass Yeah Some people say that sometimes Some people just said it on this podcast Some people have them That's offensive Yeah I don't know that fucking.

The Joe Rogan thing, like, I just, I feel like he seems like such a good guy, and it's just so hard to separate that from what his comedy is like. Right. It's hard to fathom how somebody could be a seemingly good person and seemingly so unfunny. Stand-up is hard, though, bro. For sure. Yeah, that shit is tough. Trying to relate to different crowd.

Like, you go to an audience, this is a couple thousand people that you've never met, and the only common denominator of their guys is that they got is. watching you and expecting you to be funny. Yo, when you guys said that you were going to watch that special again, that is mind-blowing to me. I can never fan of watching stand-up. I'm just a fan of the sport. I'm a fan of the sport, so, you know, I'll go back and look and just, you know,

because, you know, it's always stuff to learn from. So, you know what I'm saying? And plus, I just, maybe I missed a couple of the jokes, or maybe they're over my head or, you know, but I give it a second watch. I can barely finish that first one. That's what I'm saying, yeah, I couldn't do the last 10 minutes. I just gave up. It was late.

It was like, really. you know you just get that feeling like this is not how I want to end my night I kind of just felt like I got the gist of this I feel like it's going to be more of the same type of stuff the racial shit just felt like it was just like oh are we overkill

are we over entertained though I think sure if it was 1980 and this was the only stand-up special of the year I'd probably think it was great yeah yeah because it would be so like shocking like but there's been like a hundred comics that have came out and said oh black people this you know Mexicans this

It's like you've got to be a little more creative and thoughtful, I think. Right. Well, all that people eat chicken, it's like, okay, bro. Do you wish he said to N-Work? I probably do. That whole crowd. I don't wish he said it, but I wouldn't have been pissed if he did. Like, you know, whatever.

It just feels like a line that, it's hard to imagine how a white comic would cross that line at this point, but it just feels like sooner or later one of these guys is going to do it. I think it's coming. It's definitely, it's going to happen. I've seen a video online the other day, and it was, two different Cholo gangs and, Nick, I beat your ass

and I was like, God, that's crazy. I mean, these are the Spanish people sent them out. Yeah, these are real essays these aren't like play around,

these are essays that like should be respected that are, but you know, Jordans, black R&B singer lineup, you know, nigga I'll fuck you up

to another fucking essay. You know what I mean? So that's the time we live in with. They all said. It's true. Things change. Yeah,

the thing ain't changed. That has been regular my whole life. How do you say nigger in sign language? I don't know I'm that's dumb

that's dumb as funny that's so funny because you think it was like something else before you realized what's happening that was great yeah that was funny

oh shit no I've seen a video or two like of like a Mexican gangster dude and he's like he's like spitting out of a black dude

through a gate and he just says fuck hard ars and i'm just like wow that is just like the most la thing ever when you hear a mexican gang dude saying that shit it just sounded so crazy but then hop in the car and turn on smoky robinson and then go watch kovi and shack do they think yeah right he probably was in a lefty gun play these does Tommy guns hmm yeah Tommy guns with the shell on his head yeah that was hard yeah no idea what that means why I don't know what it means I was trying to figure it out and decipher it but I'm just like that's

hard. Why a shell logo? Any popular logo on your face or head is just cool as a gang member for sure. I love that. Yeah. That's what I would do if I fucking did it. You get a face tat? Yeah. Steak. Steak. Wait, what? That's what it means?

I mean, okay, yeah, I guess I would assume that. It's like, you know, shells, like a gun. A gun has shells in it. Have you ever shot at somebody? No. No. No. Have you? Man, that's right. But my shit wasn't like on no gangster shit.

I was, I was scared. Well, sometimes you got it. Oh, so, like, you shot at somebody who was, like, confronting you? Somebody came through where I lived at shooting. Oh, you shot back? Yeah. But it wasn't like, you know what I mean? But that, that's a...

You didn't hit him? Nah, but that feeling for a couple days not knowing, like, did somebody get hit? Like, I don't see how you can live like that. That shit is fucking... Was this back in the day before they had cameras everywhere in the show? So you weren't as worried about it? 2002.

Yeah. That was a good time to shoot somebody. Nowadays. What a time? You're getting locked up. To underlie it's all fucked up. What a time to underlieb? New parody just dropped.

If guns made different sounds, I don't think people would shoot as much. What sounds you mean? Right now it's pop. It's really loud. But if it was like a moaning sound or something different, something embarrassing. Like a gay moan. Yeah, I think if we change the sounds that guns made I think it would lessen gun violence.

No, but that's why the switches took over the planet is because they sound cooler. It's not just that they're better at killing people, but it sounds like an 808. You know, that shit is like way harder. I feel like that's part of like why the switch

took over America for a while there. Yeah, we should get switches. For sure. Switches never like made it to LA seemingly. I like never hear about people using them on hair. I'm sure they do. They probably just in Chicago. Every time you hear about somebody getting caught with a gun in Chicago, Philly, always got a switch.

Not always, but a lot. I think they just don't talk about it. How many people are you trying to shoot where you need a mini machine gun? A lot, bro. It's a lot of art. And they did that shooting outside of the fucking Mellow Bucks concert in Chicago,

and they had a switch. They killed like five people. Or that Stockton shooting at the party. Oh, that was terrible. They had switches in that motherfucker. Yeah, that's crazy. I mean, if you really want to, like, mow down a fucking group of people

and you only have a handgun with a 30-round clip on it, I mean, thank God the mass shooters haven't got the switchies yet. Like the school shooters. Don't give them any ideas because that's your audience. Yeah, edit this out, guys. That is your audience.

That is my audience. You know what's fucked up? The lefties. What is? Is putting rubber bullets in the gun of somebody that's trying to kill themselves. Boom. Point blank range?

The rubber bullet is still doing. Put it in their mouth. They saw all. Will it? I don't know. I was just going to be goofy as a motherfucker. You keep knocking yourself out. Is this heaven?

No, you remember that girl who, like, they put the Bible over the kid's chest and she shot into the Bible, right? That was a real bullet, though. Yeah, but it killed them. Yeah. And then she got hit with the murder charge. I think so.

I think that's how it worked. And they did it like as a show. It was like people there, audience, and everything. No, I'm talking about some random shit. She got here with a murder charge. This wasn't the thing that they were doing like on some YouTube shit?

I don't know. Did they? I thought they were doing it for a YouTube video or something. I don't think they dropped that one, though. They got that upload. But there was like people. there that witnessed this, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know what I'm saying?

Oh, this really happened. Yeah, there's an audience of people. They were like, oh, he eyed, he. You're probably talking about like a fucking David Blaine special or something. He probably did something like that. No, it was something that really had happened. I thought it was the same thing you were talking about. Just figure it out.

Let's figure it out. There's a little research on this shit. Obviously, people love... Shot through Bible. Okay, what am I asked? You seen that 10-year-old killed that kid? They found a gun and, like, shot their little cousin or something on accident? but the dad's getting charged with murder for that so it's kind of the same

oh that's fucked up if i'm gonna google something you guys can't all stare at the tv wall yeah guys guys guys they gone through a bible or was it a fucking phone book i'm pretty sure it was a bible this was a viral real-life incident right told you yeah yeah no this is what i'm talking about a 19 year old man named pedro convinced his 22 year old girlfriend monica to shoot him with a 50 caliber desert eagle handgun while he held a hardcover book often misremembered as a Bible against his chest. He believed that the book would stop the Bible. The couple was attempting to film a dangerous stunt to post on their YouTube channel.

No, you were acting like it was on a TV show. No, I was saying that it was. He said YouTube. It was somebody who was filming it. Yeah, it was just like, it was just too random. A 50-cala? Come on. That's going through anything.

It's going through a car door. Like, what do you mean? A Bible? She got hit with second-degree manslaughter. Right. That's all I was saying that it was for a video and that they had an audience. That's not fair to her. I don't think there was an audience.

That's not. You know who Dr. Kavorkian is? Uh, nah. He's a legend. Oh, he's a legend. He basically would, people would pay him when they had term a little. Oh, she got a 30 days? Well, yeah, she got six months in jail followed by 10 years of supervised probation.

Oh, that's not bad. NED. I would do that. Catch on a body? If she has a tear drop, this is something else is going on. She can never have a gun. That seems fair. Yeah.

And no YouTube channel that should be in there. Wait. Yeah, yeah. She should not be able to. that on social media. Clearly she's got decision making fatigue. Oh, you got a meme, huh? Somebody said, I'm always right. Is that a meme?

That was your face. Craig Smith is always right? Oh, no. Staggered jail time. What's going on with this window? She looks like the girl who crashed the car into the brick wall and killed her boyfriend. Oh, yeah. What about her?

She's crazy. When she was like Is that okay? There's like a girl from a few years ago. She was mad at her boyfriend. She drove 100 miles per hour into a brick wall. Kill him and his friend. You're talking about the girl a little break?

Oh, that's a different one. No, a different one. I remember that. She went 100 miles per hour. Think about how fast that's the fastest you've ever gone? She lived. She lived. There's a documentary about her.

They check like the black box of a car because they have that now. And it's like she never attempted to hit the break. She just went straight into a brick wall. Oh, God. Doing like over a hundred. But how was that her plan to kill him and not her? I think it was like I'm killing everybody and she just survived. She survived.

And the homie and her man died. Yeah, they died. But she was like on the documentary in prison and she's like, I'm so sorry for what I did. And then like the camera keeps rolling. She goes, is that good? Like that sounds like sympathetic. Did that see real? Oh, yeah.

So she's like psycho. No, no, I need to watch this. Yeah, she's like a psychopath. Some of these documentaries are too interesting. I think, I think they're doing some shade. I think they're acting like some of these things are docs and they're really not. What do you mean? Like, because some of these things are.

They just make up the story? Yeah, because some of the shit is like incredible shit. What was the name of the, is it the, I don't remember the exact name of this documentary, but it was about a guy who fucking lived next door to a family. He was like an aisle, and he fucked everybody. Yes. You know, jump on next door, I think is wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He like convinced the dad to suck him off. Bro. The mom did he give him a hand job. It was crazy. no that was legendary one I forgot I think Adam could do that if he moved next to a fuck a family yeah I think it's above my pay grade man

I can't even imagine seducing a woman anymore like I'm just like that's what's weird about being like the porn guys that's like I can't my Riz is at like an all time low I just don't even I just don't even know yeah that would be an option it's always an option

yeah nah but you're doubtful of that story like you think they might have just re-rocked it Here's the thing. I'm not, it's just very interesting. You know what I mean? So, like, sometimes I watch National Geographic and they have these scenes where it's like,

just perfect setup. Like, hyena lion walks up. Like, really? Pet him to this nigga. How long did you stay there for this shot? At some point, like, this has to be a setup. Like, to get these two animals to interact that can smell each other from miles away

in no danger, but somehow they walk in front of your camera. Just outside of the camera. There was opening in a cage and letting them out. So I think, there's a little bit of that going on, like some extra, like, you know, going out there type shit. Like movie magic. Would it bother you if you found out the documentary you were watching was AI and it wasn't,

it was like a fake murder story? Yeah. I would bother me. I would be bothered. Yeah. Hey, when it's like a lemon woman and a strawberry man and I'm watching and I'm like, this is AI. What the hell? Well, yeah.

They get me every time. They get me on the, uh, I just realize it. Those videos where people go and like take a box from somebody's porch and they take it to the car, then it boom. We have explodes. They got AI versions of that now? Yeah, and I'd be watching all of them. The chick was like,

you know, that's AI, right? I was like, fuck. That's how you know you're an old, though boy, for sure. That's how you know you're 48 or whatever. 46. 49. To August.

Damn. 50's going to be nuts. Man. Yeah, I got to go cray, cray. Yeah. Is that the lesson that you've learned? Is that Craig, in order to turn 50?

You got to go cray cray? Or is the lesson like, let's have a family. Not Craig, Craig, I mean, I'm open to it. But if it don't happen, I'm not, I'm not, like, attaching my anchor of happiness to that. Like, if it happens, cool, but if not cool. Settling down in 50 is comedy.

Don't have kids. It's not fair for the kids. Oh, yeah. You're going to be dead by junior high. They don't want to fucking, I want to hang out with dad. I don't want to. 60 at their graduation. Lauren Hill got rubber bands in her mouth at 55.

Rubber bands? On the braces? Yeah, okay. She was singing yesterday. Why the fuck does she? That's like a barbed. Barrack style of braces at this point. And especially when you sing,

you're a public figure, everybody's got Invisaline. Right. Or just the fucking veneers. What do the rubber bands do? They just restrict how much you can open your mouth? Yeah. They pull it into place or whatever.

That's crazy. I mean, it felt normal in 1998 when I got braces, but I feel like that was just like primitive now. You guys all have braces? Huh? No. No.

I feel like if you're getting braces after 50, that speaks more to precarious. procrastination than dental alignment. What are you waiting for? There's so many things that seem Xed out after 50 from my perspective. That's just you now. I'm still too far away from 50 that to me 50 feels like

you're knocking on death's door. But that's because that's eight years away for me. Yeah. I've been thinking about that too because I've been like going with this bald shit. Like I can't grow my hair bag like I somebody every time I try. Like it don't grow right here, man. Oh, you just have a bald spot because your hairline looks kind of Yeah, it looks smooth.

My hairline can be cool. Like this shit grow so fucked up now. Everybody got hair in this motherfucker. This nigga used to be bald for years. Not this nigga just. How'd you get hair from being bald? I just grew it out. So you chose to be bald.

What made you go bald? I just fucking just got tired of getting a regular haircut. You want to be like DMX? Wait, yo, you have a lot of hair for someone your age. That's no hair transplant? Nah. He's on his J-Z tip. This T.

You look crazy with a baldy, huh? Like this kind of boy. I started No Jumper with a baldy. This is white supremacist, but it does, yeah, honestly. It looks weird. But now I'm, like, bald with a beard. Like, when I started No Jumper, I was bald with no facial hair, which was different. It was really gross.

Now you're like Wes Watson kind of if you went bald. Have you ever gone baldness? No, I never went bald. So I'd be all essay edition. It's crazy. I'm going to be getting banged on. Bald head is just so aggressive. It's a lot.

It's a lot of upkeep, too. And I feel like that, okay, bald head with an athletic body type. you can pull it off because bald head is a logical hairstyle for an athlete. If you're a bald head dude and then you're like kind of out of shape, it just comes off like you're like a gang member or like a racist or like as a white guy, you come off like you're always like kind of on the spectrum

of looking like a skinhead even though like the skinhead style is not really popular anymore. Or you're sickly. I feel like white guys that are bald give like, is he sick? You know, is he dying? It's like chemo patients.

Yeah, because chemo patients and skinheads fucked up being a bald I think bald and fat sucks. Yeah, I like it. I'm living that horrible truth right now. Bald and fat is way better than balding and fat, though. Balding and fat is probably worst case. You just got to give up the ghost sometimes, man.

I wasn't going to be trying to do all that shit like, you know, I was just like, fuck it. I had a good run. Let me just cut it off. If somebody like, you know, you get super cracking in the podcast space, a doctor from turkey reaches out, hey, we'll sponsor you for free. We'll re-rock the back of your head. We'll go crazy.

As long as it ain't too much, man. maintenance. I would have allowed. No maintenance. I get my teeth done, but I'm just doing it. I just went out there and got his shit done by my doctor. His lorry looked pretty cool. Oh, is your doctor? So does your hair grows again? What the fuck do you think is going on on my head right now?

I don't know. It's a little piecey clips on in the morning. It's just static that just stays the same. So wait, so let me ask you this. So what is it that they did to make it grow again? Okay, since you're asking me instead of going on fucking Google and You go, they go into the back of your head. They removed hair follicles one by one.

Then they move them all to the front of your head. And then the hair in the front now grows just like the hair from the back of your head. But you have a shitload of hair in the back of your head. So you don't really need it all. And then like when I was out there, I seen like Arab dudes that didn't have that much hair in the back of the hair. So they're having a chest hair taken out and put in the front. And notably, even if your chest hair is gray, I have hell of gray chest hair. I could move that hair to the front of my head

and it would grow brown because it matches the pigmentation of the area not the original hair fog. Jesus, that's one fact of the day. Damn, I had no idea it was that deep and complex. Put it pubes and get him in the back. That would be far. I'll be half in the shade

because I'm a quarter Mexican, so I have, if I just grew my chest out, you wouldn't even see my chest. Don't blame that on us. You're quarter Mexican. I don't know what part, but I know it's 25% my mom's half. Oh, wow.

Yeah, yeah. I never knew that. This is for La Casa. You said this shit wrong. You know that's for our people. Bowboy. I'm so serious. If he was from a Mexican hood.

That would be so old. Like if he was Rich Rabbit. Yeah, rich doughboy is crazy. I told him that earlier. We were watching Rich Rabbit. I go, you should join a Mexican gang. You should. And does your doctor know a mouth doctor there?

A mouth doctor? A mouth doctor. You looking for some top? A dentist. Oh. I came to turkey for some hands. You back. I'm sure he knows.

Like, I'm sure he's tapped in. There has to be a place. They all got to hang out. And this is the thing is that, okay, A, the hair transplant, way cheaper than you would expect. I didn't pay for it. But the guy that I'm sitting next to on the fucking shuttle, I'm talking to him about it. And I'm realizing that he did like the same number of hair follicles as me, $2,500. That's not bad.

I'm like, that is a fucking dream come true right there, bro. That is cheap as fuck. Because the same number of hair follicles in L. rough math, maybe like 20K or some shit. It's like way more, more than that, honestly. But like, because me and Vlad have both like done it in America and done it in Turkey. And we both agreed to Turkey by a mile. But basically like anyone who has like a decent social media presence can probably talk their way into getting that shit for free too.

Because they're pretty competitive with like trying to get influencers and shit, you know. Hey, Turkey. I might look into it. One of you motherfuckers out to you. I need to get my teeth done. Come on. I need to get my head. Getting the Excel joints.

I'm coming back with hair. I was just with TI said, and I couldn't stop staring at the veneers. I'm bringing the hair back. Match, no. Fuck it. I'm going to turkey. I'm going to do it. Let's do it.

Yeah, because I ain't got the face for a ball head. You should just have a full-on afro, like big-ass afro. Afroes are so underutilized by the black community. J-Z looks good with the afro. You call that an afro? I want like a, they took the locks out. I like a solid, thick, thick shrub-style afloat. Afro. Yeah, you want it to be like, have some bone in it and not a boneless one.

Just a boneless afro. A load. A bono is crazy. I know what you're talking about. Afro-man, no, aphromic hair. Like, when it's perfectly groomed, like, round. I spent upwards of like an hour on Google looking into this, but I'm completely 100% convinced that afro man's hair is fake. You're such a hair. I don't want to be the ones hell in the world, but... You might just want to turkey. If you look at it, it's like, it's like, you It's actually like really poorly hidden because like there's clips of him with like the most solid, perfect, dark black afro. And then there's clips of him where it looks like what it actually looks like.

And it's, yeah. How much was the pussy in Turkey? Did you buy pussy? I didn't buy pussy, Craig. How do you travel and not by pussy? That is so irresponsible. So while my head was bleeding and I had fucking, you know, my, your head gets so swollen when you do it. Nobody ever gets to see this part, but you look like an alien because your head is swollen as fuck for like two days.

And so for sure, the last thing I was thinking about was having sex with a prostitute. Did it hurt while he was doing that for today? Did you say Vlad went to turkey to? Vlad just did it. That's brave. That's my guy. I sent him there. What hurts more, a tattoo or that?

I interviewed my doctor if you want to watch that. That exists. How do you say his name? Dr. A car. Okay. That's not bad. He's not an actual car.

Not a van, but a car. No, it's Dr. Ocar. What hurts more? A tattoo or the hair thing? Probably a tattoo, honestly. Oh, okay. Yeah.

It doesn't got a bunch of tattoos. Actually, yeah, it's like, tattoos a lot worse. Especially, like, on the back of your head, like, on your head where you can do the hair transplant. It's like, that's the worst place to get tattooed from my experience is the head. But it takes a few months for it to, like, look normal. You do look like a little crazy. You got a little process.

Yeah. That's why you see, uh, Vlad, wearing a fucking Louis Bucket hat doing interviews right? right now oh he's i thought you were supposed to rock the hat you're just supposed to rock it out and let the air you're not really supposed to but if you wear like the right angle so it's not sitting on top of the ventilated patch that you're in it down honestly i mean if you if you want to see me like right after getting it a big deal no jumper interview this is me i'm gonna say five days after i got it done oh yeah oh shit i just remember i was so motivated the shit on c-rail that i did this interview like when I really did not want to do an interview because I was

yeah but if it was closer you'd be able to see that like this shit looks fucked up it's like a bunch of little dots yeah I look way skinnyer what the fuck am I yeah you're hella fat yeah look at this guy look at that that's yeah I seen myself in a full length mirror the other day and like what I saw no was one of those carnival ones no it's one like on a closet and like I even like the bed was super high just looked over I was just like Oh, gosh. Disgust about your body. Imagine how other people feel.

I didn't like it, bro. This is a good fit, though. I don't want to give you credit. The jacket, man. He always rocks that jacket, not he? No, but the shirt, man. He's got, like, solid pants on.

He's got some good mid forces on that are clean. What I'm saying? The mids. The mids. As different, could they black? What did you buy to change that? Huh? Where'd you get the foolery?

It's the middle of the mall. Oh, for jewels. I like fake chains, though. I have a couple real chains. The fake chains actually look a little better in the light and shit. They're better for fucking entertainment. Moister night, nigger, man. Oh, yeah.

Moister night. We're all non-waring chains. Okay, that's what the dynamic was. I noticed at Vlad's dinner party was that some people are wearing nice, like, button-up shirts and shit. And then you've got a lot of other people like, Vlad, me, etc., who are just wearing, like, playing t-shirts and stuff, but every single person who was wearing a playing t-shirt had jewelry on besides me. I was the only one that opted out of the jewelry. I've just like long since decided.

Do you have any chains? No. Dang. I refuse. Didn't you have the 22 chain? I did. Lennon bought me that. I wore it go. I wore it for a while. You gave it away or well? Honestly, it's in the safe that I like can't remember the code for, so at some point I'm going to have to deal with that. You forgot? You know, you know, like put it in the phone or nothing? Damn. I felt. I felt. like I wrote it down, but honestly, I haven't even tried it in like five years, which is bad. I just try it in. I lock myself out of my Apple thing all the time to always be said. No, that's crazy.

The I cloud. They have the face one. Just bad your face. No, but sometimes you got to like put it in for the purchase. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, what did I do? Because I didn't change this. The I cloud password, yeah, definitely gets tricky.

I changed it. I remember I went to Faze Banks's house back in the day and he was sawing through a safe. And I remember thinking like, wow, what a retard. Like, such a stupid thing to have to do. I've had the same problem for like seven years. But I actually haven't like, you just made me think about it for the first time. Do numbers ever do numbers ever pop of your head? You'd be like, oh shit.

No, I don't remember anything. It's like rain man. It's autistic numbers running. You got to bury that shit next time. That's the old school way. Put it in a bag buried in the yard. Escobar. Not good.

It can work out for you. I feel like if you do that, then it's going to get eaten by some sort of like unidentified bug under the ground. Yeah. for sure. Bacteria and shit. You just got to wrap it, you know. I mean, how long are you going to keep it in the dirt for, you know, a couple of years?

20 years. Yeah. You know, James Brown buried a million dollars and came back in the fucking bacteria ate it up. Yeah. Escovar, same thing. They said all the money was all moldy and, like, breaking up. Can't spend that shit when they start breaking up. No.

You got to use some kind of, like, weird container for it or something, right? Yeah. Air seal it or something? I don't know. Craig, you only buying Kucci overseas or are you domestic Kucci buyer? You're going to support the economy. Yeah, American prostitution is a little bit overpriced. I go to places where you can get a J-Lo for 30 bucks, 40 bucks.

To find a J-Lo. A J-Lo is a very attractive Latino woman who's been kidnapped from her family. Oh, shit. That's great. You made a dark turn. You know, in Amsterdam. Paraguays. What are some other guays?

You got to love a third world country. All those. Yeah. Because when I went to, sorry, when I went to Cuba, you realize pretty quickly you got two types of people, women who are prostitutes, and then men who are cab drivers. It's like the only things that each person can do. It's fucking surreal. Everybody sells pussy in Cuba. It's got to be the highest percentage of anywhere on earth.

I bought pussy from a judge in Cuba. Are you fucking serious? A judge? I'm fucking with you. Everybody sells pussy. I didn't know that. I never heard that about Cuba. You got to be careful when you go to Amsterdam

because when you go to the red light district, they got different color lights and different lights and mean different things. So you got to like pay attention. What's the banana out the pussy light? What color is that? Yellow is the trans light. But no, I think the red was like a chick.

I think it was like blue. It might be that. And it's like a different color light. So just stick to the red. Did you do it? You bang prostitutes in Amsterdam? Huh? He really had to.

He has headphones on that's feeding your words right into his head. But you know, but if I remember correctly, like I think I couldn't even perform. I think it was just, I just ended up talking for like 15 minutes. You got gummy worm? I got gummy worms. You just talk to her? I mean, I'd already pay. My memory of when I went to Amsterdam when I was like 19 or whatever is that the pussy was like 60 bucks.

And I didn't do it, but like a couple of my friends did. That's reasonable. aren't they standing in the window and shit there? Yeah. And I would assume it's probably more now because this was 20 years ago. But honestly, $60 for pussy is so cheap that that's basically free as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah. Like that's outrageously cheap. That's like taking a girl to Applebee's a fucking appraper. And even like, let's say with inflation and whatnot, it's like a buck 50. I mean, I was going to say $1.20, 150 probably. $150 for sex is basically sleep free.

Right. But also sex with a condo, I'm just so uninterested in it. That's why I think I had the gummy worm because I had to wear the condom but my dick was just like, nah, man. DR, Dominican Republic, they're ahead of their time with

BBL. You know, they got the BBOs that's floating in Dominican Republic now. For real? Yeah, I bought pussy from a bitch that was sitting Indian style on top of the water.

She had a floating BPA. What the fuck? They got BBL's there. The location device ass. No, I just like, BBLs to me is like the greatest invention. Yeah. This is like ever. When dudes say they don't like it, I'm just like, why?

It's a little suss. You are so gay. It's pandering. It's pandering like, it's pandering like, no, I like natural women, you know. So all the natural women being like, yeah. There's no surgery that yields that high of an increase in potential revenue than the BBA. But I get a bad one. Everything.

Yeah, even a bad one. The bad ones obviously are horrible and I hate them. But like a good BBL will basically like rocket you into stardom. For sure. Regardless of your face. Like there's girls who are just doing their thing and so many likes every day making hell of money off OnlyFans. And A, they're using filters even in the videos to make their asses look bigger.

But then like when you really get a look at their face, they're not even hot. Right. They're not like, it's not a face that would really elicit any attention in any prior generation. but they got a good BBL. Let me ask you this. What are the bullet points to know you're looking at a BBL? Because I can't just eyeball and know like, oh, that's a BBL. Rounder than could be sculpted by a human being.

It's like perfect. Like God made it perfectly. Higher. I don't think God made that. Higher, rounder. And really you just have to like think about like what women looked like before the advent of the BBL. And like, would this have been attainable in 1995? I don't understand.

women that get BBLs that don't sell sex. Like the nurse that got a BBL. They're out there, man. I know them. It's crazy. Yeah. It feels fucked up. There's a lot. There's cleaning ladies with BBOs. Yeah. But that's like in the 90s, if you had fake boobs, like 100% chance you did porn or a stripper or whatever. And now, you know, little Timmy at the skate park's mom has fake boobs. Don't get mad when I ask you how much, you know what I'm saying? Like, what's up? Like, what I'm trying to fucking pop with me? Don't get mad. This is your advertising.

Yeah. You'll take on the botch BBL or. complete flat pancakes like terrible botched bb l or just flat ass nothing i take the bach it's like almost dipping inward like backwards i need something back there okay i think i've like accomplished enough in life that i just can't go for either it's just not those are both just sound like monster movies to me a must-mash i can't consider a flat-ass or a fucking disgusting bbL or just and you got to have a three-sum with both of them for plug talk adam oh no I have definitely done the some point out for sure. But there's a lot worse out there.

No, for sure. It could be worse. I haven't probably had to encounter on a personal level. What else you got? What are you got for Top of the award? Topics. BET Awards. Yeah.

How y'all fell? We didn't really go into it in the news, so we're clear to talk about some things. I got a pretty strong take on one individual. Hit it. Oh. Lauren Hill. She got the icon award.

And while I think that she is a dope artist and she did deliver a Isaac album once upon a time, I feel like she's really overrated. I feel like she's one of the most overrated artists ever. Like, bro, she did one album, Miseducation. It was a fire album, but they rank her up there as like the top woman lyricists, put her over people like Nikki and stuff. I'd be like, yo, that's just so crazy. And just for her to get an icon for one album and then one group album,

anybody else feeling me on this? I actually completely agree with you, but I also feel like, Like this is kind of like your thing is that you always go anti-black. You always go anti-black woman. No, I'm not. No, I'm raising a black woman. I've got nothing to get it's black. I feel like you kind of like low-key do.

No, not at all. I don't think you fuck with our black queens like you said. I fuck with our black queens. That's crazy. I'll fuck with our black queens. But I just can call a ball to ball and strike a strike. Like, you know what I'm saying? In that situation, I just feel like, I mean, just think about it.

Who else in music could say that you would. call them an icon of one solo album and one group album. Yeah, she's kind of like the J. Electronica. You know? But both of those albums were so good. Yeah. Now, 10 singles. The Fuji's album I used to actually bang as a child over and over and over.

The Lauren Hill album, I didn't really care about as much. But from what I see, people worship that project. So, you know, I mean, that's two albums, like pretty legendary, even though I agree. Like, I mean, it's kind of like a D, I think that's even in the conversation about that being like a legendary run. That's like, it's just not really... She's the most complete

hip hop artist ever. You think so? Most complete. She's a high level rhymer and she's a high level singer. I heard she was jacking material, though. No, a lot of that shit was... I mean, look, if you let...

What's his name that plays the piano? Fucking... Sky Storch? Nah, legendary jazz, penis, Paul's, uh, fucking... John Legend? Nah, jazz, dude. Bald head.

awkward looking fucking when I think of his name you're gonna be like oh okay Robert Glasper Robert Glasper was a part of the production team on that he said all the songs were stolen and there were other people's music

and he was mad because she wasn't giving people their credit from her album from miseducation a lot of it yeah a lot of it was that's why it's fire because she stole it all well I don't think it's fire because of that but I mean that would be the

I could see that being a reason why not to like her you know what I'm saying if I'm no boy but the actual music is fire right now and i give her that right stuff for sure she was crazy no but she's super talented but i get what you're saying like she's highly touted as like one of the goats like you know craig just said and you don't agree the body of work right there to to justify that but just personal opinion so i feel like you got to like if you're going to have a take you like that like you got to like think of like more shit that you're going to say about it

and then like maybe try to like deliver it in like a notable or funny way. Just my advice because I know that was like a big thing that you were cooking up there. Yeah, I think the Lauren Award kind of coincides with like Kendrick winning the artist of the year and he hasn't dropped in two years. It's kind of just there are, it's kind of the, what are the metrics? The normie answer. It's just like if you ask some random person off the street like who should get this award, they'd say all the people that BET gave the award to too. But you're saying she's overrated because she doesn't have enough work. Yeah, I feel like those two bodies of work

don't justify you being an icon in this game. It's like them albums came out like over 20, 25 years ago. It's like, and I get that they were good then, but we didn't get no work from her later and we didn't see her evolve as an artist, so we could just go back to these two projects, which is fine. They are goaded projects, but I just don't feel like they're,

they spring her into the level of you are a icon. Okay, this is why, is because the culture wants to celebrate notable, important, black female artists in particular and realistically in hip hop not that many realistically going back you know it's like now we're in the age of the female rapper but you rewind the clock to the 90s

just like a very like limited list that they're working from and despite her not putting out as much music she has like maintained this aura and this mystique and really her not dropping music for this outlandishly long period of time is like that's her that kind of like bolsters her image The same reason why Cardi B was able to coast for eight years without putting an album out. You know, if you put it, if your last album was really, really, really, really dope, then you can kind of just like get by without dropping anything ever again.

You know, Rihanna, obviously, another example of that. It's not exclusive to win. Lauren Hill has not fucked up her image. You know, which she could have, and that would probably make her less of a legend. But she is a legend because as weird of a life choice as not dropping an album for 20 years is, she left on a high note and she didn't fuck up her image. She never did like a, you know, rainbed deal or whatever. It kind of has an impact on your life.

But there's a bigger point that Adam is making, you know, is this an indictment on women? Because women love whores. Yeah, and that's another reason why she's notable is she didn't do the sex appeal thing, you know? She's like this one. And she's still super. Women love her. Look at fucking Cardi B. Right.

And she's not a great rapper. She's a good. By girl standards. Yeah, girl's just pretty. I'm not gonna lie other than Nick's she's willing to work with artists with her music enough like she's not a dope writer we live in an era where nobody gives a fuck about like you know who's who's a great lyric sister when it comes to girls we don't care at all especially in the girls are the number one audience that don't care yeah women have to be horrors in order to make it there's no

female rapper and maybe I maybe you could educate me I can't think of a rich popular female rapper that isn't naked titty's done ass done talking about being in the strip club, getting fucked, fucking a guy with money. She don't fuck with broke niggas. And she'll be homosexual, sometimes and lick pussy.

Like, there's no women like Lauren Hill that are just dope as fuck that are popular. I mean, there are, it's just the culture doesn't give a fuck about them,

you know, like, like Rhympstity. Rhapsody exists. Uh, fucking no name exists. These are like... Rhapsody's fire.

Right. But these are like... They're pretty niche phenomenon. I have never... I have never watched. an entire Cardi B video without beating off. I always end up jacking off. Fire.

And this is the issue. I have that problem a lot. All kinds of content as well. Her at the BET Awards, Cardi looked pretty fine. She's outrageously high. Yeah. I mean,

but let's be real, like women, they just like having, like female hip hop as its own genre has just like not evolved to the point of their being artists like what you're describing in the mainstream.

Right, right. You know? And Lauren Hill realistically is kind of like the best example of somebody who was on some politically minded, smart, whatever, vibed it, coded shit, and then also was really high up making hit records, whatever, was in the public eye like crazy. I mean, I have to believe that she would have put another album out if she felt like she had it in her. Right.

And then the business of- She never dropped anything? She did. Not, no, I don't believe. I'm not sure. Definitely not a project. But the business of hip-hop was trashed back then anyway. So a lot of times an artist's not dropping.

It's not like the artist. It's the deals they're in. They used to do trash deals back in the day. But if she had a dope album in her, I feel like somebody would have dropped it. It would be super beneficial for her to drop it. Like Cardi B. Like, did she want to take an eight-year break?

I mean, maybe some part of her wanted to take an eight-year break, but realistically, if she had a... Because then when she finally dropped the album, it was good, but it's not... Does it sound like eight years of work? No, it sounds like a fucking... pretty regular-ass album, but I think that she dropped a classic album and then had a hard time recreating that. And it sort of, I don't think she wanted to drop that album as it was. I think she felt like she kind of had to a certain point, you know?

Somebody said her, but her is an R&B singer, right? I wouldn't count her. I'm not talking about R&B because you got dope at like Sizzis. She's pretty dope. That's R&B. That's not rap, really. Don't she really like stands to be the benefactor of like that sort of category of Lauren Hill going forward even though like.

She's sexy too. She'd be half naked and shit. That's true. She does that more than... She looks good as fuck. She looks good as hell for sure. So why are women so... Why are women who support hip-hop so into the sexual shit?

Is it because that's, like, control for them? But you can say that about pop, like the girl pop shit, too. Like Sabrina Carbiner, Olivia Rodriguez, Taylor Swift. They're all very much, like, you know, hot chicks, I think, at least from the perspective of, like, women, you know, we might not name them as, like, our favorite babes, but they're all pretty hot, you know? And it's like, you know, I think somebody, like,

Chapel Rhone like feels kind of like maybe her not being as attractive kind of like throttles her success in some way with women. I feel like, you know, I feel like women want hot women just as much as we do, even though it makes no fucking sense. No, they would say it's because of society out set up, you know, led by men. So obviously the standards and all the practices on what we see is like the most desirable is probably going to be the status quo of like the society. I also think like it's so easy to be. hot as a woman that any woman can become hot with

like a fair amount of work like if you're skinny and you are willing to get fake tits and like fake hair I mean that's pretty much like almost any woman like we've seen girls go from the money legitimately ugly as fuck to hot in the public eye

through surgery and weight loss respectfully glowrilla it's just not that hard when it pops up the same way like if we were all like R&B singers we could all like dramatically increase our appeal by getting on testosterone and getting six-packs, right? Yeah. And getting the ab etching.

But that's like every woman. Every woman does that pretty much. So we got to get up with them. Music and stuff. I mean, I don't give a fuck about us personally, like as a podcast. We got to get six packs. We got to get fake six packs and all go to Turkey and get our hand done. But like when it comes to women, it's just like being hot is like not that.

Like every woman is like basically trying to like be. you de-maximized their whole life. Right. As opposed to most of us have done nearly nothing. Nothing. Besides, like eating. Because most people don't care about how we look, but women,

that's going to be the first thing that everyone cares about you. You know what I'm saying? So they got to it. Interesting. They're sick. I can't believe what happened to this blood, bro. That's so much weed that you just wasted.

I wrote it all fucked up. You can't roll. Did you save that weed? He's like a half a blood right there. He's bawling and he came in here. He said, I got more. Will you need weed moose? I got you.

Where are you getting money from? Like, Oh my God He just came with a pack Big pack That came in I'll roll one I'm not even like saying

Oh we gotta get higher I'm just saying No it's all good You seem like very comfortable financially And sometimes I wonder like I mean I've worked hard I've saved some money here and there

I mean I ain't up up But you know I'm working towards it Okay You see them brand new mid forces on man Come on And you pay me a little something man You throw me a couple dollars man I'm just

That's funny Look at this the fucking The Moose man They call this the unc cast this shit kennelope Cush I need to get a shout out to all my melons

I need to get a platinum card at Burlington Co factory man I'm the dawn of that shit I'm the darned that shit I know that's true I mean I've called it for ages I'm no fat driest you know what I'm saying

as a fellow fat boy is Burlington so they have that guy close hell it goes up to like 6X at Burlington where I grew up like within

biking distance Burlington CoFactory it was pretty much like the only spot to get closed so I'm familiar with their game. And just being a big dude that's dealt with different layers of big and what it takes. At my biggest, I still was able to shop at Burlington and get like shirts and the polo-arass

assassination shirt. They were there for you. And nobody else was. At my biggest, my waist size was 60, 60 inches. What's the most you ever weighed? 4-86. How much? 4-86.

You remember, nigga? You was that big? When we did that, you let them get that big, Craig? I mean, one time I heard his stomach growling. I thought DMX were standing behind It was his stomach What does it feel like to be 486?

Bruh, it's heavy How were you fucking bitches? It should have done a documentary From the back with my stomach on their back You left it up? Yeah, that's it on them? I did, oh yeah. It's like a problematic viewpoint

But like when I see a 500-pound guy walking down the street, I pretty much just sit there just repulsed I thought you would have looked at me Just like what is wrong with you? How did you do? Dude, it's, and the, the, the comparison is like how you feel when you see like a dude strung out on fucking fent on the corner. That's what you compare it to?

I would say it's equally self-destructive. Yeah. I saw somebody walking out of McDonald's today and they were huge and it looked like they're out of breakfast. But I just got to. And I was like, I felt kind of bad. Being 300 pounds is not fentanyl junkie level. You're off the turkey. But being 500 pounds is like, oh, you have so little self-control that you have.

have done something to yourself that is going to dramatically shorten your lifespan by decades and your quality of life is going to be dog shit. And I know it's wrong to feel that way and judgmental or whatever. But that's how I feel. And I'm not talking about you right now. Right now, obviously, you are less, you're less hideous than you were at a certain time. Less hideous. You have decreased your hideousness factor, but you remain hideous.

But what I'm saying is how a person can get up to that weight is if people are emotionally eating their feelings, man, because, you know what I'm saying? It's never enough. I'm not denying you that. So that's where it can come from. A lot of times it can be more emotional base. You know what I'm saying? And so, and then you can just deal with the tricky stuff.

Like, once I got the weight loss surgery, then I still was addicted to something, then it went to alcohol, which is why I'm celebrating 23 days now. So it's just. And that, but that same exact thing to the fentanyl addict is you look at him and you think you could if you sat there and thought about him long enough and got past how disgusting and hideous as lifestyle is, you would probably. think damn that motherfucker probably came from some terribly dramatic situation that caused him to get into that although obviously we also know that that's not true and plenty of

bums and junkies are coming from like pretty decent but that's what we would assume through like soft white underbelly interviews is like usually most these people have horrible lives and that's why they're like on skid row and stuff so yeah but i know like the son of a billionaire who was a fucking heroin addict for a while there you just to hang out in the girl that voice And Lilo and Stitch, she died of AIDS on Skid Row. And she was like 16 or 18. And she was on drugs since she was 13, they said. And she was like famous.

She did a bunch of movies and ended up on drugs. That's fucked up, man. That's crazy. That's some shit. I just fucked up girl on Plague's from Finland. And she was talking to me about how she just went and drove around all through Skid Row just to get a taste of what was going on down there. I'm like, you didn't roll the windows down, right?

She's like, no. I'm like, the smell. They'll jump through that. That was the point that I was going to make, too. I have forgot it, but then I remembered it. So the difficult part about food and people that suffer with, like, body dysmorphia or just, like, food addiction, is that with drugs and alcohol and other substances, anybody could not do that. If you don't want to do snow, you don't got to do snow. If you don't want to do weed, you don't have to do we.

That is a decision that you can make. Everybody got to eat. So uncoded to call it snow. I was trying to not get it to run. A whipped cream. He's talking a whipped cream. But, like, you know what I'm saying? But you gotta eat.

You got to eat. And, like, they set up life to where you eat at every occasion. You eat when stuff is good. You eat when it's bad. You eat the celebrations. You get to eat. You got to eat. You can't have an event without food.

And you know how hard it was. We started a weight loss competition and then acting like we never did it. I like that we did that. Still, still struggling with that. Until this day. To this day, that's a point of shame for me. Yeah. Why did you bring that up?

Whenever I get sober, I gain weight. So I didn't gain like seven pounds. I'm like, fuck. Fuck. But, you know, sometimes you got to pick your poison. Like, I'd rather be sober and more doubting than... 486. How did you keep...

How did you keep water in the bathtub at 486? I couldn't take bath. The bathtub is like a bowl. You fills it up this much and then lays it in and it goes to the top. You know what one of my favorite things to do as a kid was? Ride roller coasters. I ain't been able to ride one for 25 years because I'm too big. Still?

No way. I got to get down to like 250. I hate roller coaster. That should be like a whole YouTube, you know what I'm saying? I want to go to six flags. I'm going to lose weight until I can. Did I want, man? Because I really want to do it, man.

So why did you get off the O-Zembek? It felt like that was probably like the code, right? I was, for getting to eating shit. Like, I was getting a case of the shit's real bad. Like. I feel like you got to take less. That was the 15 pounds of shit coming out of you. You got to have that.

Everybody has it. Yeah. Everybody does have it. Yep, everybody has it. But yeah, I just think it's a slippery slope when you can get fat off of eating your feelings because it's just like, you know. See, I'm thinking dental feelings. I'm like, that's some fucking, that's a crazy diet.

What does like a skinny person that doesn't eat their feelings do when you are sad or have feelings? Smok weed. Okay. You know, jerk off. Yeah. Jerk off for 13 hours like Terry Cruz. He said he jerked off at 13. He was addicted.

He used to get off work at 10 a.m. and jerk off to like one in the morning. We all been. Oh, he's a weird off. That's insane. Like, bro, I would have never even. known that was possible as a young man. I'm glad that nobody ever introduced me to the idea of gooning. Yeah, because...

Marathon. I loved to beat off as a teenager, but never did it even cross my mind to, like, do it more than like maybe max twice in a day. Never even occurred to me. Oh, those are rookie numbers. Come on. The marathon continues. I never did.

You ever heard that? Yeah. No, that is what that refers to it, for sure. What's the most time you guys have ever jacked off in one day? and ejaculated. Probably four times. As a teenager. Yeah, as a teenager.

Four or five. That's crazy. Yeah, I never did that. Five six. Five six. Yeah. He said he beat off for 13 hours. That's crazy.

But have you guys ever, like, not been able to find the right video made? It was that type of thing. Maybe he was just. We got too many options now. It's way too many options. He's like, eight out for 30 minutes looking for the perfect set. It's on page like 19,000. Like, it has to be in here somewhere.

Maybe that's telling him something is that you got to switch out of the girl section go to the guys I bet you're not like that Terry I'm sorry man I feel like that's all that's autism bro it has to be right I think that's chalked up to autism how do you focus masturbation addiction

how do you keep a dick hard for 13 hours never have I even consider in my life yeah I feel like that would be hard no pun intended special feather there's a feather I just feel like you'd be chafing at some point Signs his brother

Yeah I was gonna bang 100 girls in a day What? Like a stream Adam blue Like just a couple strokes and one

A couple strokes In the other one You know Hit them each for like Five minutes or something You know Just do like a long-ass stream Like that

And like I just I don't know I just It feels like Maybe I shouldn't do that With my life You should eat them all out too

Oh gosh I don't think can get past 10 that's a lot that's a lot to be doing a hundred you're not got a pound you know it's not like it's not like i'm fiending for this experience it's like you know i'd be doing what about like just do 20 20's cool do a 20 never you can give a fuck about 20 20 stupid if bonnie blue did 20 nobody you give a fuck no 20 v1 where you just fuck them all that is kind of a good idea i'm not right well for sure when you fuck when you fuck a hundred girls you if you'll diem a hundred goes you fuck a hundred goes you got to have you know you got to do a 20 versus one or five

20 versus ones with that leader sure really I feel like every important time in a person's life should be marked by a 20 versus one like you should do one at your wedding at your graduation at a funeral funeral for sure always

pop the balloon at the funeral 20 versus one me and all my family members at a funeral I'm trying to figure out who I'm going to have sex people are crying could you fuck in front of a dead body like they put a dead body in the bed Not a question is there.

No, I could put up a dead body. I mean, would I choose to? No, I would probably address the dead body. At least roll it off the dead. Why is the dead body there? Yeah. Did I kill them? How long has the dead body been there?

Is it a decon pose at some point? It's not stinking. It's cold, though. Oh, okay. It's cold. You got like at least eight hours before. You're watching their soul leave their body? Nah.

I put it like this. If the dog shit on the ground, I wouldn't be able to have sex. Right. I'd have to clean up the dog shit. Right, right. a body is way worse. So unless you're like incentivizing me in some way, like, hey, if you could fuck next to this dead body, I'm going to give you $100,000.

You could do it. But a body doesn't stink right away. It's going to take like a couple of hours. And even if it stinks, it's like I'm still going to be able to like, like, that's a simulation of having sex is not that. You got nut on the dead bag. Oh, I have to. I was just going to do it anyway.

No, I can't do that shit. You can't do it. You're not meant for the porn game then. I'm not meant for that. That's how you get in. That's a lot. going on. Did you know that our no jumper relationship started with him being

deeply offended that I refused to hear him out about his plan to do porn? Adam called a Carney porn. He didn't even help me out, man. I think that was like his introduction to me being a callous fuckhead who was not willing to like pander to your feelings. It was him realizing that I wasn't willing to take him

seriously in his dream. You got to have a clap, a monitor when he fucks to do down all the clapping from his body. The doughboy ass clap The poor, though. It's about that. Ass clap, stomach clap, lower back clap.

I'm going to get in good shape and then take that. Net clap. I'm telling you, watch. I'm going to get down to 225. If Adam got you a bitch, you'd do poor. You don't just have to lose weight. You have to get everything sewed up. And even then.

I'm going to say the extra skin's got to get taken care of for sure. I mean, you need to get on testosterone tomorrow. Yeah. That's what we should do for the Spody fight is just get you on a bunch of gear, just a bunch of roids. And you just come in. and like the Russian and Rocky and just pack them out. Oh, you guys are still going to fight.

Yeah, he's still. I ain't ducking shit. You heard. Processing that. You heard him. You heard. We got to get down. Check the mathematics.

We got to get out. I'm ready with it. Like, you know what I'm saying? A porn doesn't pay like he used to. Is it even worth it? Everybody's losing money into porn. Well, the companies are fucked up, but the only fans is like better for most girls, I think, than what they were getting from the companies, you know?

It's like an independent ground. I think it's a better time to be at porn. as a random girl now if you really want to you got up to risk go to Nigerian film yourself fucking Nigerian prostitutes without a condo oh whoa that's they have to get tested that no don't test them this is the part that makes it I feel like that is a that is a brilliant idea you just don't show the testing you just make it seem like for sure yeah no that's a cool idea yeah that's how Brian Pumper got canceled though he was faking tests well shit oh yeah he had

actually had some shit. Well, I don't think you like necessarily had shit, but he would like meet a girl, fuck her on a Friday, take her to the clinic to get tested for SUD Saturday. Oh wow. Which I respect, but that's why he got canceled.

I wasn't watching a Matt and Shane episode, and they were talking about you your connection to Brian Pumper and you were interviewing another porn star who was talking about how Brian Pumper put him on and they were discussing that. That was pretty funny. Matt Turner. Yeah, it was Matt Turner. Shane was shocked by

that. I've never met him. I don't think I've spoke to him. I think I've spoke to fake accounts pretending to be him. I made a documentary about him that I think got over a million views for sure. It's pretty much like the bane of his existence that this documentary is out there that makes him seem like a real weirdo. And he's probably why he hates you. He's been free for probably like I went to jail. He was locked up for maybe five years. We don't really know what for. I think that the charges in the system were of a sexual nature, I think. Um, but, but, But now he's free. Seemingly, I don't want to say homeless, but like approaching homeless.

Like he's at the bus stop. He's outside walking around with a duffel bag and he's at the bus stop a lot. I would assume that maybe his like court ordered probation says that he can't do porn or something maybe because otherwise, like, why wouldn't he? How'd he stop somebody from fucking? Well, I mean, you could just say like, hey, you can't have an only fan or something, which I, you know, if he had. fucked up charges, which I'm not 100% sure on that, but like... That were related to that industry. You know?

Like, you can't work in that industry. Because it just seems like for him, you know, we're in the golden age of being an independent porn star. Why the fuck would he not have... Like, he could probably make bare minimum $10,000 a month. He's a poor... If he started to Onlyfans, right. And like, what would be holding him back unless...

He got AIDS or some shit. Or he can't have an OnlyFans account? Or maybe he's just... such a J-Cat at this point that he's just not capable of even getting his shit in order because he seems kind of just sick in the head. But you said he was also like kind of banned from the industry. From the industry, yes, but that's what I'm saying. Like, you don't need the industry.

You can just do independent. Just find random girls. Random girls are going to fuck Brian Pucker just for the meme of it, you know, probably all of them. Ecuador's some shit, you know what I mean? But they all do it. Like they'll actually like all do it. Like he's like, you know, probably 80% of the girls out there would do

cons to him Brian Pumper if he was viral which is kind of an indictment. Come back to the game Brian Pumper. If you're able. The game needs you.

Bring the eggs back. Hey, do we got the list of the other topics that we had on there? We have a few more. You seem kind of doped up today. I'm not going to lie. What?

Do you feel like you're like extra medicated today? I, man. So they got me on you want to know? Yeah. Well, Boutre you,

oh. Fucking Abilify. Um, trazodone and I say you prevent a tragedy now vexate that helps with alcohol withdraws

what the fuck so yeah I apologize if I'm a little no that's good I used to give out a lot of trazodone at my job your eyes are working in the pharmacy yeah

I mean smoking a lot of weed too we're smoking before the pot but no they just you know that that's the one thing that like you know what I'm saying like I just that's the reason why I go back and forth for want to be on this shit

because sometimes it's just have you feeling like lights on nobody's home it's just like your energy just kind of spike sometimes I just want I just get tired. Couldn't you have, couldn't you be on like one thing and not like

a combo of four things? That's a lot of shit. Well, the Wollibucin was, they said I was depressed. Yeah. You know, and then the billifiers for the bipolar shit, so it's to keep the mood stabilized. And then the now vexed so I don't drink, that helps with cravings. And then

the trisodons are helping go to sleep. Yeah. I used to be on Sarah Crowell. That shit was like a horse trick alive. I used to give that out a lot too. And I worked at the pharmacy. Damn. And that shit makes you gain So now I'm just eating everything that ain't nailed to the floor. I've been, man. He gained like a quick 20 as soon as you get on this stuff.

Bro, I've been eating shit. Adams? Adams. Yeah, I know. I see that. I just wanted to call attention to it. Yeah. But, you know, I just, you know, go through it.

I think as I'm starting to work out more, getting ready for this fight, my energy used to be better. So, yeah. Are you going to be medicated during the fight? Yeah, I'm not getting off that shit. Yeah. Doesn't it affect your ability to exercise to a certain thing? No, it just makes you feel just, just, just, groggy all the time just like this

it feels like that would be pretty bad like yeah I see an Adrian Bruner saying that like when it comes to boxing dudes don't really smoke weed because it's fucking really bad for your reaction time and shit a lot of the UFC fighters are on that shit all the UFC fighters be smoked

that is a good point but anyway AB said that and I was just I feel like probably you could say the same thing about the anti-present's for sure right but yeah I had added some shit it was a Dick Van Dyke David Attenborough and now Mel Brooks all turned 100 and are still actively working. If you all make it to 100, are you still going to be doing like comedy, podcast interviews?

And people are still looking for you to do it. Like David Attenborough is still narrating all the fucking National Geographic, you know, documentaries. I'm going to the wills fall off, man. Doing what I love. As long as I can do it at a high level, why not? What else am I'm going to do? Just sit there and be old. That's what it seems like.

They're like able-bodied health. permits it, you're healthy, you're good. If it made sense. Right, right, right. Because I mean, I'm, I mean, are you going to do it until you're like dead in the ground and you're like not making it any money? I mean, I feel like at a certain point, the game's just going to tell you when you need to bow out.

But now we got three guys that are 100 and still getting fucking booked for shit, which is crazy. Yeah. I feel like it's probably a lot different once you're 100. I mean, think about most of the 80 or 90-year-old dudes. that you know and then imagine them doing a podcast. Think about how many dogs you've owned in your life at 100. I'm sounding like my first round of dogs right now. Yeah, I mean, you could have at least 10, you know, the 20 dogs.

Yeah, you've watched the species evolve, like I've become a whole different dog. You know what I mean? That's a lot. A hundred years, man. I hope I'm working at 100 years. Your dad was in World War I. Right. It's like, I think a lot of people are optimistic about what they're going to be capable of

doing that late in life. Right. And I want to know, is that like, do you all think that's jeans? Because none of those guys, when I was looking at them, like, they're not all super skinny and in shape. They're just kind of look like regular guys and they're 100 and doing it up. Like, is that just jeans? Or like, do you think, like, it's just kind of random? Should we just live however?

And it just doesn't matter? I think it's a lot of. I think it's a lot of luck, bro. You know what I mean? Because there's probably a lot of people that were capable of living to 100 that died in World War II. You know what I'm saying? A lot of luck. So, you know what I mean?

But. And I think it's mindset. Jews have extra long life powers. They're doing something. There's some scientists or island somewhere, and they're doing things to make sure to, you know, certain people live a lot longer. I think so.

You should go find this island. It's hard, though, because Jewish people, once they turn like 65, they look 100. So it's kind of hard to tell. Yeah, that dude. Brian Johnson said that he thinks that, like, we now are post-death. like now you're you're so capable of being so healthy that he doesn't feel like he's going to have to die

what's that even like what's telling him that what do you think is telling him i don't know it's just like but i do feel like lifespans are probably going to be capable of being dramatically uh lengthened as we go by and through time but i don't know how much like people are going to want to do that like most people who are like a hundred fucking want to die do yeah for sure yeah All the 100-year-old people I've ever seen, they're always just kind of chilling and not really talking much. Maybe they have a walker,

they're probably in a wheelchair. Right. You know, it's usually not pretty. Probably smoking crack. But hopefully by the time we're 100, you can get like robot legs, robot dick,

just going crazy. Live life. Yeah. Fuck. Just live lunch. With my robot dick, man. I got my robot dig, man. Clive Davis.

You guys talk about that? Clive Davis died. Clive Davis did die. The rest of peace. Yeah. It's in peace, man. He did a lot of positive things. I love General Doverwood.

What's the... What's the Illuminati going to do now? I mean, isn't he like... That don't exist. They still have this talk with you. They say he's the head of... I ain't no Illuminati, man. That's an urban legend.

You don't know. It's because we ain't lay you in yet. All right. I'm good. Fucking... You guys good? I'm good, man. Do Boy, about to take a nap right here.

Shout out Moose Man. Shout out Craig Smith. Shout to doughboy. We had a contact. Y'all got me. Oh, did we get any donos? Let me address that. Yeah, read the dodoos.

Any what? Yo, go check out my YouTube, Moose Man 916. I'm almost to 2,000 subs. Thank you guys. Love you guys. Adam, please replace Doe Boy with Craig on behalf of the community. Damn, why can we both be here? You regret requesting the donations now?

There could only be one license. Jay Chasing Bag said, Part 2. worth nine months guaranteed. I don't even know what the fucking means, but shout a bit to him. Big Mike said, shout out to Zen Moose, Zeus, if you will. The homies up next. Lush, the goat.

Doug White, I just don't know if this is for you, gang. Keep it gangster chat. Damn, fam. I've been on a Zen tip where I don't respond to negativity now. Dragonite Gormax. A good Goy 22.

Did you know one of the dancing Jews of 9-11 said in an interview that they were only warning the Jew underground in the tunnels. Stop noticing. I've heard that conspiracy. Very thankful to take money to read such a theory. Wave Gretzky said this pod went from a waylaug journey to begging for donations towards the four-hosts mastectomies.

What is a mastectomy? I was just about to say that. I think it's a photo of your boobs or something. Yo, you know what I did a deep dive on recently? What? There's this fan theory that the Jetsons and the Flintstones happened at the same time. And that like the Jetsons was like, that's that world ended up getting destroyed. And so then the same people was out of the Flintstones.

And that's why like, that's why they knew certain stuff that they couldn't have known. Like they had like TVs and phones and shit. So they knew a bunch of shit from like the civilization from the past. It was a reset. But it was a reset, but it was happening in the parallel universe at the same time. It's a cool little deep dive. after you obviously look at that. That's crazy.

We love you, Chad. This has been the Monday show, man. I love you all, man. I want to hear what I'm going to say. Shout out to Craig Smith, man, doughboy, Adam 22. No, Jumper, you know what it is. Go on.