No Jumper - The OG Cuicide Interview: Surviving a S****** Attempt, Being Abandoned as a Child & More

Episode Date: March 17, 2022

OG walks us through his life story, from being in the streets to finding his own way and helping people to stay on the right path. https://www.instagram.com/ogcuicide/ ----- NO JUMPER PATREON http://www.patreon.com/nojumper CHECK OUT OUR NEW SPOTIFY PLAYLIST https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5te... FOLLOW US ON SNAPCHAT FOR THE LATEST NEWS & UPDATES https://www.snapchat.com/discover/No_... CHECK OUT OUR ONLINE STORE!!! http://www.nojumper.com/ SUBSCRIBE for new interviews (and more) weekly: http://bit.ly/nastymondayz  Follow us on SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/4ENxb4B... iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/n... Follow us on Social Media: https://www.snapchat.com/discover/No_... http://www.twitter.com/nojumper http://www.instagram.com/nojumper https://www.facebook.com/NOJUMPEROFFI... http://www.reddit.com/r/nojumper JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/Q3XPfBm Follow Adam22: https://www.tiktok.com/@adam22 http://www.twitter.com/adam22 http://www.instagram.com/adam22 adam22hoe on Snapchat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No Jumper, coolest podcast in the world. And today I'm bringing you an interview that just, it had to happen sooner or later. Everybody who listens to the podcast knows when they hear those magic words. Shout out OJ suicide. Facts. Today he's here. If they don't watch the No Jumper show, they're not going to know what the hell I'm talking about. But every week you at some point show up and we all say, shout out of your suicides.

Payfully, every Tuesday. Yeah. It's an important part of the show at this point. Yes. And I just heard so much about you from AD over the years. I just figured we got to hear the story. I know that there's a story. Oh, yeah, definitely a story.

Definitely a story. So where are you actually from? Compton, born and raised. Okay. Born and raise. Right from the same part of Compton the A.D. is from? There's only one Compton. There's only one Compton?

There's only one Compton. I heard there's a lot of different territories out there. Yeah, a lot of hoods within Compton. Okay. There's only one city, Compton. I like it. Okay, and so what was your upbringing like? What era did you come up during?

On the west side, you know, of Compton. I grew up on Atlanta McKinley Street. Okay. Nice. And what era, though? Like, what year did you? Oh, I was born in 69. 69.

69. But, you know, my life started off with me being abandoned, you know, in Fountain and a apartment. Wow. Yes. Okay. Yes. And who, how much do you know about this?

And how do you know about it? Who told you about it? My social workers, you know, because I was pretty much placed in the foster home because me and my older brother was found in the apartment. We had been there for like several days. Neighbors kept hearing kids crying, you know, for days. And finally they brought children's services and the authorities knocked on the door. Nobody answered.

So they came in. Wow. And so do you know anything about your parents? I mean, I met them. The first time I met my real mother, I was 13. And Ms. Price, you know, when people listen to my music, they always hear me mention Ms. Price. Ms. Price is who end up adopting me. Okay.

She had a foster home, like a temporary foster home where no matter what time of the night or day it was, children services could bring kids to her house, and she would hold them until they either go back to their original home or placed in the foster home, but with me, she took a liking to me. And that was my heart. And on my 13th birthday, July to 30th, if it's my actual birthday, Ms. Price came in a room and said, somebody wanted to see you. And, you know, I didn't know who it was. And when I walked in there, you know, I see a heavyset lady, dark skin,

standing there. And she said, this is your real mother. And I'm like, what you mean, my real mother? Like, you're my real mother. Did you even not know that, Ms. Price was your biological mother? I found out later, but not at that time. I didn't know.

Okay. Up until I was like 13 years old is when I actually found out. And this is when you're finding out about the fact that you were abandoned in the first place? Abandoned in the first place, and she set me down and actually told me the story. But she let me go with my mother. I don't even like calling her that, but she let me go with Norma Jean. That was her name. Okay.

She let me go with Norma Jean that day. I went and met aunties, cousins, like family, you know, that I didn't know about, had no knowledge of. Because being in this foster home, which I end up being adopted, these are the only people ever known as a family. Right. Holy shit. And so this is just hitting you out of the middle of nowhere. You had no idea that this was coming. You're meeting this whole side of the family.

How did your biological mother, how did she explain to you the situation that would lead to a mother doing this? Um, she pretty much made it seem like, oh, I love you and, you know, blamed it on drugs. And my thing is, okay, people do drugs, but my also, my thing is kids don't ask to be here. Right. And she went back and got my older brother out the system, but she never came back and got me out the system. Why do you think that was? She never could answer that question. And like I said, on my 13th birthday, I met my cousin.

cousins and everything. She brought me back. And I was kind of confused because I'm sitting there interacting with people that I don't even know these people. So I didn't really feel comfortable being I'm your auntie and I'm your cousin. And we remember when this happened to you, but we were young and it was nothing we can do. It was a lot of excuses and stories that was being given to me. And did you, you know, you're 13, but is your bullshit detector going off? Or are you kind of taking what they're saying at face. My bullshit detector exploded. You know?

And the whole time they had been living in Compton on the east side of Compton this whole time. Right. So when I pretty much when I turned 22, I actually went back over there myself because I had found out I had a little brother and I had a little sister. My little brother, little Willie, who I used to go over there and spend time with. He had nothing to do. How I feel about them, he has nothing to do with.

So I tried to embrace him. This is my blood brother. This is my little brother. Right. But my older brother used to put in his head because, like I said, in my music, I talk about my real life, you know, like my mother and father was a piece of shit. They abandoned me. I found out, you know, I was born a crack baby.

So I was in an innovator when I was first born. I was born a drug baby. So due to that, me growing up in school, I had a learning discipline. disorder. So pretty much everything I learned, I learned from being in the streets, not in the classroom. School wasn't doing it for you? School wasn't doing it. Special ed classes. Couldn't figure it out. I couldn't learn fast enough. I couldn't keep up with the rest of the class. Right. So when I was 22, like I said, I used to go back over there and go see my little brother. And I remember Norma Jean standing in the street, you know, she's standing there crying

and she talking to me and I love you and I love you and I just want you. And I just want you. you to know that and I'm like you don't even know me how you love me and I'm a stranger to you what's my favorite color what I like to eat and how you love me you don't even know me and then my older brother we don't get along at all because he hate what I say in my mood man you're telling lie I'm not telling lies didn't we get abandoned he thinks you're telling does he just feel like you shouldn't be speaking on yeah he feel like I shouldn't be saying that I shouldn't be telling the truth right it happened to me it happened to you too but she went back and got you.

So is there a favor to them? Is there a difference? So we don't see eye to eye at all. And I told him one day in his neighborhood on his block, I'll beat you down, straight out. We can run that. Because to me, you're nothing. You're a stranger to me.

And he forced fed into my little brother head. Like, oh, this ain't your brother. So my little brother started acting funny with me and started acting different. So I kind of left it alone. And I also have a little sister name. named Lynette that I found out because I found out my auntie stayed down the street from when Norma Jean did. I used to go bam on her door and it's crazy because she used to peek out the window like and I'm babming on the door and I'm like come on now you're not a spirit. I can see you

the blinds are moving and I said cat her name is cat I'm like cat I'm your nephew Frank is my dad which is my real father's name said Frank is my dad I'm your nephew you know I was a band And I grew up in a foster home. I probably did that for about three weeks. And then one day she finally opened the door. And I found out why they called her cat. She had about 13, 14 cats in the house. Okay.

And she told me where my real father lived. So I went to go visiting 22 heavy gang member, heavy gang banging. Meet this dude for the first time in my life face to face. And the first thing he could fix his mouth to say to me, just pull your pants up. I said, man, I beat the fuck out you. You don't even know me. And you're 22?

22 years old. Wow. Angry. How'd he respond? He didn't say shit. You know, I said, man, I'm just here to see Lynette anyway. I'm not even fucking here to see you. We've never seen eye to eye.

And how did he react? Like, how did you feel just realizing that he clearly felt no responsibility to the child that he brought into the world? And it's like almost impossible to imagine somebody being, not careless and thoughtful with somebody's feelings. Yeah, they, they was doing drugs then. When I met them, they were still doing drugs. They're both deceased.

And Norma Jean, I didn't go to her funeral, but my father's funeral, I went because one of my cousins asked me to go in. I really didn't feel right there because I don't know this dude. Right. You know, people crying and everything, but, man, I'm a street dude, man. I have no remorse, you know? Like, I just didn't feel it. So I kind of walked out and just stood out and, you know, waited to the service was over.

That's how I feel. Was there a part of you, though, that wanted some kind of resolution to, you know? Definitely. Any child, any person want that. Was there a part of, did you ever have that conversation to a point that satisfied you at all with either of them? Not at all. I never got the answers I wanted. But one thing I do know it was, it was drugs.

Okay. But like I said, kids don't ask to be here, man. So if you got kids, be in their life. Not every crack had been as their kids. Exactly. Not everyone. But my thing is, we both were abandoned. She went back and got him.

Did you go back and get him because he was older? So it was less of a responsibility. And I was 18 months. Right. So I never got the answer. So I let it be. I left it alone. When you think about your life,

when you found out about your biological family, at 13. Does that like mark two very different chapters in your life? Like you just weren't the same person anymore once you found that out? I didn't feel right no more. You know, I feel like I had been lied to, but like I said, Ms. Price, that was my heart, man. I could do no wrong in her eyes. Really? She loved, love me dearly. And, you know, growing up in school, you know, like I said, I had a learning disorder, elementary, junior high, so I kind of didn't really stick to going to school. You know, because I wasn't getting the grades I wanted. You know, I used to turn my F's and the A's.

Right. You know, back then and bring home the report card and Ms. Price used to be happy. That was my thing. You know, after the way she loved me, yeah, that was always my thing. No matter what dirt I did in the streets, she won person, I always want to see a smile on her face. Right. What did you gravitate towards, like, before the streets? Like, at what point did that become part of your life?

man, I've been involved with growing up in the neighborhoods. I was eight years old. In what way? Like, what kind of stuff were you getting into at that age? Oh, man. Well, at eight, you know, you're hanging out. You're hanging out with the older cats, the OGs. You're seeing these dudes hustle.

You're seeing lowriders in the hood. You're seeing cats with wards of money. And all the OGs in my neighborhood, you know, they took a liking to me. Right. You know, I was one of the ones. I used to peep game. You know, I've always, my interiors. tuition. I always noticed things.

And, you know, I've seen how they was getting down. And I'm like, damn, this, that's what I need to be doing. Was L.A. fucking crazy at that time compared to these days? Compton. Was Compton insane compared to nowadays? I mean, it's crazy now. But now everybody can sit on the couch and watch TV or look at their phone, right? Like, back then, you kind of, everybody's outside. I mean, that was social media.

Back then, you know, you was outside. Right. And, like, hustling, you know, that became my thing. man, I got fascinated with getting money. Really? At a young age. At a young age. We're talking 8, 9, 10? Man, I was 13, you know, 13 years old.

You know, back then we had homegrown weed. That's before weed had buds on it. You know, it was just leaves, and you would dry it by the heater. You know, you had the wall heaters, and you would dry it by the heater, and it crumbled up, and you rode the joints up, and you go to school with the $2 joints every day, and that's going to Enterprise. That's how you were making money? That's how I was making money. But it was weed at first?

Did it turn into other shit quickly? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It turned into that white girl, you know? Oh, yeah. Man, sticks. You know, I was involved with it. Did you see Coke and Crack come out?

Or was it already like, you always know about it? It really hit Compton, 83, 84. Okay. You know, it's really when cats had, yeah, when it really hit heavy. And, you know, because before that, you've seen a lot of people was off PCP. Oh, really? Sherm sticks. That was, like, the default drug before Coke and Crack?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that was off that gorilla piss. That's what they called it. So you started selling guns and shit, too, you said? Well, I had guns. That's one thing. You never been a person that sold my gun. Okay.

Yeah. For sure. You can't go to war without a weapon. Right. When did you, like, formally joined a gang? I mean, well, it wasn't a joiner gang with me. I grew up in the hood. Right.

You know, so I've been there all my life. I mean, we think of gangs in a certain way now where it's like a lot of people are from a gang when they're actually not from anywhere near that actual area. Well, you got a lot of that. But where you come from an age where your block was the block that you did. That's what we protected.

That's what we took care of. You know, and it started from, you know, fistfights. You know, from fistfight to knives to shotguns and so on. Because back then, you know, cats had hands. Right. You know, it was about hands. So it's still a lot of fighting. It wasn't just happy.

shooting each other at that time? No, no. When did you first start to get in trouble when you get caught? Man, I was getting in trouble at Ralph J. Bunch Elementary. Oh. At fifth and sixth grade, you know. We were stealing cars and we used to break into school just to smoke weed and shit. Break into the school to smoke weed.

Yeah, I mean, you can't be. We're young, you know. Me and my boy Curtis Taylor. Right. You know, and my boy, Tony, man, we can't be out on the block at that age. we like, you know, 12, 13 years old. Right. So we break in the cafeteria and shit sitting in smoke homegrown joints.

Wow. Were you doing other drugs at that time now? Oh, no. Okay. Oh, no. I ain't never been a sampler. Right. So this whole era of you kind of being out like that, like, did you ever actually get locked up and do a serious amount of time?

I mean, well, yeah. I've been in and out to jail from juvenile hall to, you know, county jail time and shit like that. Yeah, definitely. Okay. Definitely. How much did that change you? What was life like after realizing what that was like? I mean, I really realized, I'll say, because also, you know, I'm a suicide survivor as well.

And what age did that happen at? I was 22 years old. Oh, that young. Okay. I'm thinking that that was going to be later in life. No, no, I was actually 22 because at Ms. Price House, I was bringing a lot of drama to the house. Oh, okay. You know what I mean?

I was getting into shootouts. I was selling drugs or the, you know, I was. police was raiding the house, and when I was in camp, somebody shot the house up. Wow. You know, Ms. Price had opened the door and, you know, thank God. You know, God was protected. Because when she opened the door, you know, somebody had a shotgun and started shooting. And they didn't hit her? No, and just, she closed the door just in time. And when I came home, it was, you know, it was still buckshots right by the wall. And her daughters, you know, pretty much had asked me to leave when I was 16. Wow. Because I was, I came, back then, I was mad as shit at him. Yeah. But as I got older and realized it, you know, I, I forgave him, you know, and embraced them. But when I was put out, all I knew was the street. So I was staying pillowed the post wherever I could, wherever I could, you know, rest my head. And you can stay at your homie's house, you know, here and there, just like the homie trout, rest in peace. I remember I used to spend a night at his house. And his mom was. You know,

come in in the morning like, what, that boy ain't got nowhere to live? Why he always staying over here? Right. You know, so it's like you stay here, you stay there, and I'm staying with different people, and that's how a lot of people kind of became family to me. That's how I kind of ganged like aunties and nephews and bros and things like that from just living with different people and embracing different people. Because Ms. Price taught me to be a lovable person. But But when I was 22, it was October the 31st, I'm sorry, December the 31st, 1991. Okay. And I woke up that day, you know, armed Dickey suit, and, you know, got ready.

I was staying at the young homie young foolhouse and was getting ready to go outside. And for some reason, man, it's like something that took over me. You know, I was like, I remember sitting on people porches and, you know, all night in the rain, sleeping in cars and sleeping in garages on concrete or wherever I could. And that particular day seemed like I just feel like, man, I was just living life taking up space. I really feel like I had no purpose in life. And, you know, I was having suicidal thoughts.

And who I was in the neighborhood, I guess I had too much pride. And I was more of embarrassed to go and let my OGs know, you know, how. was feeling because I don't know I guess I didn't want people to look at me as being weak. Nowadays there's a lot of a conversation about mental health. Yes. Did you not even really like understand the idea of being depressed or? I didn't understand it. I literally didn't understand it.

And, you know, like I remember, you know, grabbing a gun and, you know, I put it to my head and, you know, two of the little homies was there and like, man, what you doing? Man, like, man, what you doing inside? Like, man, why are you playing with you? the gun. I said, I'm not playing, man. Had you thought about it before this? Yeah, many times. Many times. You know, many nights I've been out

in the rain all night, just sitting on people's I'm hustling. I'm doing everything possible that I could to stay afloat, to stay above water. But without that family love, that family structure, it just wasn't adding up to me. And did you have

no relationship with Ms. Price after this? Or did you stay in touch? I stayed in touch, but she had got cancer. So Ms. Price had got sick and then she had got Alzheimer's. She passed and she passed like years, she passed in 92. So after she passed

it was like I didn't care about nothing. You had nothing grounding you. That was it. You know, that was it. I didn't care about nothing and I grabbed the gun and you know, I put it to the side of my head

and I just let it go. And I mean, I don't even see a scar. Oh, it's right. right there. Okay. It's not too... It's permanent. It used to look worse. It used to look like Frankenstein, but I guess I grew into it. So what happened? The bullet just missed your brain? Or where to go? It went in, you know? And I don't even know if they got it out, but I know I flatlined. So it might be in your brain and you just don't even know.

I never asked to be honest with you. And I do know I flatlined in people that was calling the hospital to check on me, to see about me, they was telling him we don't expect him to make it. So I was in a coma for a few days. And they was like, well, we don't expect him to make it. He's not going to make it. And man, I had angels looking over me. And it just wasn't my time. You were in a coma for how long? I said a few days. And you just end up waking up. Yeah, I end up waking up. And after the gunshot, after it went off, I remember it getting, uh, I can't kind of felt my body I fell. And I remember it got like bright, like bright, like unbearable to where I couldn't,

I couldn't take the light. And I closed my eyes. And then it got dark, like pitch black. And I remember waking up again. And when I woke up, it was bright. And then my vision was blurry. And as I started coming to, I started looking and I start realizing. Like the light up there, I start realizing, like, I'm in the hospital.

And next thing you know, I'm seeing people all over me, like doctors, and they scrambling around the room, like, over me. Like, oh, like, he's alive. And what is your, do you know your name? What happened to you? Do you know where you, you know, the typical questions that they asked. And as I came to, like, I realized I was still in the hospital. And it's crazy because I kind of feel bad.

that I was still alive. You know, like, I guess I am a failure. I couldn't even kill myself. That's how I felt at that particular time. And when I got out to hospital, you know, a few people showed love, you know, did what they could for me. And it was a trip because now I'm still living the same way I'm living with a bandage on my head. I'm still in the streets. You know, my bro wolf did what he could for me.

me. How long it it took before you were back to full health? I say probably like about a month, two months. Before I was in full of health, they had me seeing a psychiatrist. You know, because that was kind of like a thing that they recommended like you got to go see the

psychiatrist or we're going to put you in a mental institution. But to me, going to see a site, really to me, how I looked at it was it was a waste of my time. Right. Because we're sitting here going over what I went through what led me to that, which is not helping me get past it. Right.

But I mean, when I think about therapy, I mean, so much of, like, what I get value from in therapy is basically just talking about things that I already know are true, that I've already gone over in my head. Thank you. But being able to put it out there and say it to somebody and have them objectively take it in without having a dog in the fight, without having, you know, the reason why it's different to talk to your girlfriend or your mom or whatever because, you know, They're not necessarily objective.

You know, therapists, they're trained to be able to be a sounding board for you to get the shit off your chest. Did that ever start to make sense to you? No, because my therapist, Sinequins, it was these capsules called Sinequins, 100 milligrams. This stuff would put an elephant to sleep. And that's what they put you on as soon as you put me on. So I would take one of those and I would sleep for days. And one day I was like, you know what, I'm not taking this no more. I already tried to sleep permanently.

So it's not sleep what I need. And I was still living in the same situation. I had to make up my own mind to say, you know what? I can't do this no more. I got to get my life together. I got to get my life together. And that's what anyone that's going through something have to make up their mind and their heart to want to do better,

to want to get their life together because nobody can help you. And when I came out to hospital and I remember, being in the neighborhood. It was people, they laughed at me. Like, homies, ah, ah, idiot, you shot itself in the head. Like, I didn't let it bother me, you know, I didn't let it bother me. Some people I want to flash on, but I'm like, what am I going to gang from doing that? Right. So I started getting into one to do music. You know, I used to do music in the 80s, 87, you know, me and my bro, gangster who became a part of the comrades, mixed, Master Spay, you know, cats like that.

We should go to the studio back in 87, but, you know, here it is in the 90s, and I'm like, you know what? I'm going to start doing music. I'm going to start helping people. I'm going to take what I went through and educate others on it, so they don't never have to walk down this road.

You don't ever have to go into that dark spot, because this is not going to lead you the right way. So let me show you how to stay into the light, and that's what I did with my music. You think that music, like making music really had that, like, therapeutic effect on you? Like, you could really be honest and speak about how you felt? How I felt be honest about what I've been through. And since 1994, a man around the world, people have been loving my music, filling my music.

You name it, different countries all around the world. Like, the things I talk about because everyone go through something. Who were you listening to? What was the music that you were? influenced by the most, would you say? I wouldn't really say I was influenced by music. I was more influenced by getting money

and hustling, you know, and just staying solid. Because the OGs I grew up around, like, you would get something done to you if you wasn't real, if you wasn't solid. If you wasn't, with that bullshit or doing bullshit,

you got it brung to you. Like, would you say that the level of gangster that some of these OGs that you grew up under would be like hard for people these days to even understand because it's the fuck. The motherfucker's a shit they pants. I'm serious as fuck. Wow.

You know, and all that, that rubbed off on me. That's why how I feel a certain type of way when I know a motherfucker is a buster. You know, I know a lot of these cats, man, that, you know, been around music or do music that I know personally that claim the city. Like, I know you. I don't remember you being over there. I didn't see you. You know, I didn't, but like I was saying, music was something that I could do.

You know, I wasn't good in school. Right. I'm more smarter now and no more now than I ever learned in school. Right. And I just learned it from living. And music became, to me, became, that was my way. That was my way out. That was the way I can create a lane to help others.

Right. You know, especially in the neighborhood, Katz used to see me heavy gang bang, and doing dirt. And I used to tell them, like, don't do what I do. Do better. Be better. Just like my little hummies in the hood,

when I used to catch them ditching. You know, back when we was younger, they had truant officers used to come to your house. When you didn't go to school, they knock on your door and, you know, ask why you're not there. So I was that truant officer to my little hummies in the hood. Like, no, you know, I punched their ass up

and, you know, take them back to school. And they were like, man, you're going to beat me up and take me back to school? Yeah. You shouldn't get an education. I didn't get one. Right. I didn't get one.

And I don't want to see y'all not have one. And I used to tell him, instead of picking up a gun, pick up a mic, my nephew, AD is one. He was involved. He was on his way. He was living that life? I'm like, nephew, let me talk to you. Really? So was he at risk of kind of going off the deep end as far as being out here?

Yeah, I mean, AD, house, the house he lived in. Because sometimes the fans give him a hard time and act like, maybe he's not really from. Oh, no, he really from over there. Okay. Oh, yeah, he really from over there. Right. Oh, yeah.

All they got to do, if they ever want to fly out here and come over there and see, they can come see for their self. You know, his granny lived right there on Caldwell. When did you tap in with him and realize he had talent? Well, I've been knowing him all his life. Because he talks about when he met Joe Moses was when he really started going to. Yeah, I remember when he was working with Joe Moses.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But you were tapped in with him before that? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Always, always gave him guidance. Right.

You know? I paved away for the neighborhood. You know, my neighborhood, I'm the reason that there's an outlet for this music. I was the one that vouched, you know, for everybody. And that's just keeping it authentic. But nephew is the one that did the footwork. He did his footwork. That's very good to hear.

We've got to talk about him more. But I wanted to ask, where did the name come from? Like, at what point did you take on the name? OG suicide? Yeah. Man, when I'm saying 93. Okay, so right after the suicide. Right after I started, my boy Lee started getting beats from Lee and the homie Kurt, who, you know, went to school with me.

And we would, we had a four track in the garage and the studio. So we would record music and work on songs. And Final Exit was kind of like one of the first songs that I did that I worked on. And Final Exit, it talked about and how I came up with the concept of Final Exit. Final Exit is a book that I read, and it spoke about people that had a terminal illness with no cure for it. And the life I was living, I felt like I had a terminal illness, that there was no cure for it. I was abandoned street life, everything I've been through. and I pretty much took the concept of that book

and created an album out of it and Final Exit was the first, like I said, the first song because I talked about how I was abandoned, how I used to rob, steal, and do everything. And living on the edge. You know, that's how I was living. I was living on the edge. And that song was one of the songs off the album

that a lot of people gravitated to it. Were you signed? I ended getting signed with Leon Haywood, the great Leon Haywood, who Dre named him

used his beat for G-thang. Old school R&B singer. We used to go to his studio and Haywood was like, man,

I really like your music. I want, let's do something with it. He opened his studio up to me and we had a full-fledged studio. You know,

that's when we was doing it on the two-inch reels. You know, now it's pro tools is easier. But we had to real to real. And he embraced me and, you know, he became a godfather to me and really showed me the ropes. He taught me the business. He taught me about contracts so I could never get fucked over.

Really embraced me on just musically. And with my first album, every instrument on there was live, play live. So he called people like from the old groups, Rose Royce and all the different groups that was out in the 70s. And they actually came and the drums. was live, like, claps. You know, we had people would go in the vocal booth and literally really clap. Right. You know, live sound. That album, it came

out in the EP, maxi single, it's what they was calling it, in 94. It came out 94, but the album came out in 95, and it hit the streets everywhere. And it used to feel good, man, to just be rolling in the car and rolling up on the side of people and, you know, hearing them playing

my shit. Right. Did you almost sign the easy year? point? Yeah, I wrote music for Easy. How did you even meet him? Easy was dating my OG, my big bro, oh man. He was dating their sister. Okay. Carmen. He was dating their sister Carmen. Was he dating her? Because they was together. I heard he was dating a lot of people. Well, they was together. I don't know what else he did, but I know for sure they was together

because he was in the neighborhood all the time. For sure. Oh, yeah. And if I had asked you at that time, What is your opinion of EasyE? Man, Easy was solid, man. It was a solid dude. He was a hustler. Easy really tried to help people. And he was really respected on a street level in L.A. and whatnot? I mean, he was a hustler.

You know, he wasn't really like, you know, a gang member like that, but he definitely was a hustler. Okay. You know, from the east side of the company, solid dude, man. Nothing but love for him. Right. Nothing but love. And so he was just dating this girl,

and then how does that turn into him hearing your music and whatnot? Oh, well, oh man, my big bro, Odie, you know, had let him hear some music. And he was like, you know, this is tight, you know. So we used to chop it up. And he was like, man, come to the radio station. So I started going up to the roofless radio show. And from there, we would go to the studio right there in Torrance that he had. And, you know, I would go up there and, you know, work on music and as well.

And so how's the conversation go, like, right for me? What I had did, it kind of started. it really kind of started with that. I had wrote some lyrics. I had wrote some songs, and I had my big bro, O.D., give him to him. Okay. And it was an open secret that he wasn't writing his raps?

Well, everybody knew he wasn't writing his raps. But eventually he started writing, you know? But he had people write. Man, it's a lot of cats out here got people writing for him. Right. It's just interesting how, you know, these days people act like, oh, like so-and-so doesn't write their own songs, and they act like it's this huge betrayal of, like,

hip-hop history when in reality, I think it probably was pretty well, widespread at any point in rap history, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He most definitely put Compton on the map, you know? And you can't leave out. You can never leave out Mixed Master Spade.

You can never leave out Mixed Master Spade. T. He had the battle rhyme out. You know, Dave was like the first ones to hit radio. Right. And then when Easy came out, then W.A. came out. it was next level. Right.

That was it. Internationally, worldwide. They took over. When you were around Easy, was he already beefing with Dre? No. No, no, no. No.

He's so on good terms of him at this point? Yeah. Everything was still solid. And so he heard your, he liked the songs that you wrote and he recorded them or? I don't know if he ever used them, but I most definitely presented them to him.

And then he's also signed you to do music for him? No, he never signed me. we was getting ready. We was in process of him putting the contract together for me to sign to roofless, and then everything happened. With him passing away? Yes. Wow.

So that was how much it crept up on him? Like he didn't even, he was working on signing you one day, and then all of a sudden he's super sick the next day? Well, I wouldn't say the next day. Right. Yeah, the next day. Rapidly? Well, over a period of time.

Because I guess during that time period, It's not like these days where there's all these medications that you take for AIDS and stuff. He probably wasn't even on medication, I guess. I don't know. I don't know that deep into the personal life, but I will say one thing. He was a solid dude, hands down. Did that deter your musical ambitions? Oh, no.

I mean, I've always continued to work on music, kept putting music out. I've toured to Japan, you know. I was working with my bro, Big Jess and D'S and dad. droop, you know, executive entertainment. And, man, that's when I went to Japan, and that was in 2000. Okay. I put out an album called Wonder Why. Had my bro King T on there, Big Sight from Thug Life, Draster, BG Knockout, and many others.

Nice. Oh, yeah. Japan, I mean, it's like another fucking planet when you're out there. Love it. Just got to get used to that 12-hour flight. It's crazy. It's like the downtown, like, Tokyo area, it's like you're in a fucking, giant slot machine. This is the brightest lights everywhere. Oh, yeah. It's mind-blowing.

It's different. Yeah. It's definitely different. Yeah. How'd you think of, what do you think of the food? I had to get used to it. Yeah, to say the least for sure. Oh, yeah, I had to get used to it. You don't know what the fuck to order. And once you get it, it's like kind of confusing what it might taste like. Man, that was my first time seeing a fish filet with a lot of extra skin on it. Nice. Okay, so When it comes to you and your street affiliations, like, how do you think about the role that you want to have in that community? Because it sounds like, you know, the gang stuff for you was probably a pretty negative influence early on, but you still seem committed to it and that you want it to be a positive thing? Well, I look at it now, you know, as I'm older.

You know, I've got five grandkids. I got four kids, five grandkids. and I look at life now, man, more of empowering people, inspiring people. You know, especially a lot of people look up to me. You know, a lot of people look up to me around the world just off of what I've been through. Because there's a lot of people that go through mental issues. And when they hear about me and they either hear my music or they watch my story or read something about me and they reach out to me and tell me,

me how it uplips them and it inspires them. But what I also let them know is me getting those messages motivates me. I've talked many people out of committing suicide. Really? From all around the world many of times on regular basis, all ages. Just the other day, there was a young cat, man, 14 years old that reached out to me. Someone else had reached out to me and said he's talking about he wanted to kill itself. And I'm like, why? Like, can't? you give him my number and have him to call me? And she said, I don't think he'll do it. He might be scared.

I said, what can you put us in a group chat? And she did. And I spoke to him, and he said he had a friend that he'd been knowing since October. And he really thought she really cared about him. And then he found out that she didn't. Pretty much that whole time, she kind of lied to him. And we live in a time now where emotions is high. Emotions is high.

When someone go through something in these days, man, I see it all the time where the first thing a person think about is when to take their life. I know multiple people have killed themselves over that exact dynamic of like finding out your girls cheating or finding out that the baby that you've been taking care of for the past few years is not yours. Yes. Yes. And my thing is, I use. what I've been through to show them. You can make it.

But you have to want to make it. You have to want to get up and do better. You have to want to take whatever you're going through in life and focus on yourself and focus on making your life better. Nobody can assist you. Nobody can help you. They can give you all the advice in the world. But if you don't do it yourself,

that's like standing by a brick wall and telling a brick. I need you to jump from out the wall and walk that way. It's never going to do it. But a person got to understand. I don't care what age you is. Life gets better. I'm living proof. Life gets better. Sometimes people don't realize they're not going through

a bad of situation that they really think that they're going through. Do you find yourself, sometimes I feel like this happens to me where I'll be hearing somebody talking. about how hard their life is. Yes. And I'll be thinking to myself, having kind of, you know, been through the ringer in a lot of ways.

And I haven't even been through a lot of the worst shit. You know, I haven't, you know, done prison time or anything like that. But, like, sometimes you'll just hear someone talking about how hard where they're going through is,

and you're like, if you think that that's as bad as it gets, you are so goddamn lucky right now. Yeah. But a lot of people don't have guidance. Or they just, they have no experience. They have nobody to tell them how,

that this is not that big a deal. Exactly. Exactly. Because I get a lot of people that hit me up from different places that be like, man, where we at and where we come from, we don't have an OG like you to give us the advice that you give. So I look forward to it. You know, I really look forward to it, man, waking up and just giving somebody a word of advice,

just encouraging somebody to want to live. Because every day above ground is a blessing. Life is amazing. but to some they may not think that. Like I get people contact me from third world countries, and you know it's terrible. I get people contact me from Haiti, Nigeria, and it's bad there.

Yeah. And just a word of encouragement from a dude that grew up in Compton, California, talking to somebody on the other side of the world, and encouraged them and inspire them to want to carry on and continue living life. Do you hear from the No Jumper? fans? All the time. All the time. When you come in on

a jumper, man. When we seen you on no jumper, when you spoke to the house fall, man, I feel like you spoke to me. Oh, that must have been a moment, huh? I'm sure a lot of people tapped in after that. A lot of people tapped in. They did. They really did, and they still do. Because some be just seen it for the first

time. Right. And it'd be so many people that, like young cats be like, man, I ain't smoked in a while, man. You know, I was doing coke. I was drinking. And since I seen when you spoke to Housephone, man, I feel like you were speaking to me. Right.

When I watched that interview and I watched it several times, people say they've cried when they've seen that interview. And it made them look at life different. You know, I even had a cat man hit me up and say, it's pops look up to me. Wow. What did you see going on with Housephone at that moment that made you feel like you had to say something?

I could tell he was battling demons, and he was in denial. And he didn't want to admit it because I could tell he got people around him, but he don't have that big brother structure. You know, he don't have that person that's going to get in his ass. I don't care who a person is, how they are. If I see something that I could get them some advice about, I'm going to do it. And when I was over there that day, and I just happened to be here, and y'all was talking and that y'all got on that conversation

and that's when nephew AD was like look at unc what he'd been through and y'all brought me on and house phone is a smart and intelligent dude but sometimes people have to be reminded how smart and how intelligent they are it happens it's just life you know it's crazy because the city's dealing with now where he was in the fucking motorized

cart when we're in Vegas over the weekend and it's all basically comes back to him not having health insurance because he's dealing with the diabetes shit and it's like you know we all just want to see him fucking really get serious about his health and like I kind of look at him as like he's got so much talent he's got so much potential and I don't want to act like he's not like living up to it because he's been doing a great job podcasting having his own show and everything like that but then Meanwhile, I see him put a lot of effort into things that will give him short-term pleasure, like the fact that there was a fucking girl waiting at the hotel for him when we got to Vegas. You know, he'll be fucking having 10 different girls that he's fucking texting or whatever while we're out there.

But then meanwhile, having to go through the bullshit of like figuring out health insurance so that he can get consistently, you know, monitored and whatever. I mean, that that is like very challenging for him. And I relate to that 100%, because that's me too. Like I didn't have health insurance for years and years because I was just like fuck it. I ain't filling that shit out. I don't care. And, you know, yeah, I mean, we all just want to see him get more serious about his health and everything. But it's kind of hard because it's like, you know, it's how do you make somebody really want to, you know, take care of something when they don't seem so motivated?

Key word, you can't make no one do nothing. Right. You know what I mean? Unless you got a pistol on them. But in reality- Maybe that's the solution. put the burner to house phone. Everybody

have to grow up on their own. Just like me. I ain't always been who I am. I've always been a solid person. I've always cared about people. I'll give somebody my last. I don't care. I'll give them my last.

But everybody got to find it on their own. Maybe something got to happen. And sometimes it's like that. Something have to happen in a person's life. to make a person make that decision for the better. Other than that, people will remain making those decisions for the worst. And on a second note, not everyone would grow up. That's just life. Not everyone would grow up.

Yeah. And to be honest, that's kind of the deal with him, is that he's super funny, he's fun to be around. Talent. He's the life of the party. So my whole time knowing him, he would all always have a girl who's down to drive him around. Always got somebody that's down to buy him dinner or whatever.

So he's just, he's got something, right? Right, because he's just people like him and shit. So he's able to sort of like, just sort of like jug his way through a lot of these situations. And it's kind of like enable him to not have to grow up in certain ways, you know? But it's not too late. He will. He's young. He's like, what, 28, 29?

He's still young. I remember being 28, 29. Man, still out there. Yeah. And to be fair. with the health scare it's not like he's partying like he used to so that's good but it's like he just has to get like very proactive with the health shit but i think he's figuring it out with the health insurance and everything and all the support you know especially here at no jumper man it's

it's so much love and support here man like when i walk in here man on tuesdays like it's number good energy and good vibes when you walk in here it's like i look forward to being here to come in here. Just number of love for everybody, man. The team, like the structure, how it's put together, how it's built, like, oh yeah, you're doing the right thing,

man. You give an opportunity to a lot of people, and that's good, and you're going to continue to be blessed for that. Appreciate that, for sure. Yeah, but, okay, this is the one thing I'm curious about, though, is, like, it would seem,

I would think that maybe somebody like you at some point would just kind of decide to sort of renounce the gang affiliation or whatever, but you seem like to, determined to continue the tradition but make it a positive thing? I mean, I'm not active. Right.

I'll never forget where I came from. Right. You know, me now, I'm more on, I go to the hood to try to help the hummies out the hood. But you felt an obligation to AD because of the fact that he's from where he's from. Well, I wouldn't call it an obligation. That's family. Right. Just like ski, that's family.

You know what I mean? I'm always, if you want to use the terminology obligated, then I'm always be obligated to be there for the people I love. Right. Mandatory. But it's a blood thing? You're actually family or is it just because you're from the same area? You feel like it's family.

Well, to me, blood make you related. Loyalty make you family. Right. And anybody that show loyalty, that's family to me. Come on, I come from being abandoned. So there was, and I was abandoned by it. blood. So there was no loyalty. Right. So anybody that show loyalty, I'm going to show loyalty back. When you look at you yourself joining a gang or being in the streets like that, was that you trying to...

You didn't join. I grew up in the hood. Was that you trying to find a family where you didn't have one when you look back in the now? Well, that was my family. Right. You know, that was family coming up in the hood. You know, that's family, man. That's, you know, from shooting. muting marbles to, you know, hanging out, to hanging out with the OGs, why they out there drinking old English and, you know, smoking weed, hustling, chilling. And like I said, that life, man, it just really fascinated me. Right. I know people who have, you know, relatively minor issues, really, with their parents, and it can still be, like, a very big source of trauma and, you know,

stress for them, even as adults in their 30s or 40s, where it still, like, you know, issues from their childhood have like big impacts on their mental health. And it just occurs to me that like you, you've been through the most extreme version of that. Like, how do you think about the fact that you're abandoned as an adult and how much do you still feel like you're processing and dealing with that? I mean, I still think about it. And what bothers me the most is when I see it happening around the world. When I see it happening to others, I could relate. I could relate.

You see it on TV. You see it from people I know. In general, you see it. Like, being abandoned is never going nowhere. That's the key thing. It's never going nowhere. But what need to be done is there's so many kids in the system. and once they turn a certain age,

then they're released out to the streets. Like, okay, you're an adult now. We're going to turn you out into the world. It's kind of shocking that you even were able to figure it out because how the fuck is a kid with no support system at all supposed to navigate this world? I mean. I wanted it.

You got to want it. That's just like, anyway, a person that plays sports. They want it. They own it every day. You see them practicing every day. When they're not at practice, they're practicing. That was me with my life. I wanted it.

So I practiced bettering myself every day amongst people that hated on me, envied me, through backstabbers. Because people close to you will see you growing, leveling up. And it's crazy because they start to. to envy you. They start to hate on you, but they fair to realize this, we both have the same 24 hours in a day. But what I'm going to do with my 24 hours, I'm going to make the best of it. I'm not going to let the day go by, and I haven't worked towards progressing. Even now, you know, in my life now, at 52 years old, every day I wake up, I look forward to doing

something to make something better. I'm building a record label right now. You know, with my son, little side, with my little bro, I.M. Izzy, I'm building a record label. You know, my, my little nephew, man, BJ Dollis, he's working on music, choice sincere. It's like, you've got to continue to grow in life. Without growth, then there's nothing. And me, to, you know, still be alive right now after all the things I've been through. I got a two, two, three round in my back. Oh, really? I've been hit.

Yeah. How many times you're a shot? Twice. And then plus, you know, my own, you know, personal. Took a shot at myself. In your back, though? Yeah, it's there by my spine. It was too close.

How bad did it fuck you up? It ripped my intestines in half completely. What year are we talking? This was 2007. Well, where were you? In the neighborhood. It wasn't on no banging shit or anything. We was chilling.

We was getting ready to leave. And I remember one of the homies saying, who was that in the field right there? I had just walked out the house. And my son was there, too. He was in the room playing the video game. And as I'm walking out the door, one of the homies, like, man, look, who was that walking through the field?

And as I look up, all you here is, and I remember filling the bullet. hit me, I'm like, damn. You only got at once, though. Yeah. And one of the hummies out there, you know, the homie, Melvin was out there, the bullet went through his back, came out his chest, he lost the lung. But he survived. Wow. I survived. And I mean, obviously, I'm sitting here talking to you. Did you have a, did you have beef at that time? Is there any reason why? I had no beef, you know, but that's just how it is in, in Compton or any other city where it's, you If it's on its own.

But you were basically... We was chilling. Were you a random person to this person? No, it was like eight of us out there. Right. So it was nobody in particular, like, directed to just catch... Oh, okay, we see somebody hanging right there. This is, I mean, do you know who did it?

I mean, what's the word? Classified information. Interesting. But we could probably assume that somebody from an enemy territory. Well, classified information. Okay. Damn. And so how long were in the hospital?

I told you the story, you know what I mean? Maybe we could do that off camera. Yeah, we could do that off camera. Damn. Yeah. So how long were in the hospital from that? Oh, shit, what? A week.

That's it? We came home with that California zipper. You know, anybody, when you get shot in the stomach, you know, you get staples from here to... You got that? Yeah. We call that that California zipper. Wow. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. How do you feel on you? Look at that. Like, fuck, I could have died. You know, because it was holes in the house. Like, this was a two, two, three round. And it was crazy because when I got up, all while the shooting is going,

all I could think about is my son's in the house. He's 10 years old. My son in the house. And it seemed like they was getting closer. It seemed like they was getting closer because the shit, it got louder. The shooting got louder. And all I could think about is, damn, my son in the house, my son in the house.

Once the bus and stop, I got up, and I instantly, you know, went to the house. And my uncle Glenn was there. So you could walk. Yeah. I got down all of you went to shooting, but afterwards, yeah, I stood up. Because, like I said, the homie, he was, when the paramedics came, he was laying down. And, you know, I told him to help him. Help the homie.

And the few of the homies was like, man, who hit? Who hit? I'm like, I'm hit. And I remember the homie like, man, Sizzle, you ain't hit? Like, Nick, I'm hit. When I lift my jacket up and like everybody always got, I was too angry to lay down. Wow. I was more mad than anything.

And like I said, my son was in there. So when I walked in the door, I told my uncle Glenn, I said, I'm hit. And I told him, I said, make me a promise. and he was like, what's that? I said, if I die, make sure you take care of my son and make sure you let him know I loved him. And I went in the room and my son was standing there with the controller in his hand.

I had just brought him back from getting some food and he was standing there, like, stunned with the controller in his hand. And I hugged him. It was like, everything good, son, everything good. Like, you're good. Go ahead and sit back down. Like, I'm going to go back out.

here, paramedics everywhere, police everywhere. And, you know, I called, I called this mom, you know, Latifah Stone. I called this mom and I said, because at this time we, we wasn't getting along. And I said, I'm hit. She's like, don't play games for me. What do you mean you hit you? I'm shot. I'm like, I'm not playing.

Get over here and come get our son. And she came over there. And when she told my son, like, your dad got. shot. He's like, my dad ain't got shot. Like, my dad just came in the house and talked to me. Your dad got shot. And you know,

everybody came to the hospital. And that's when he realized that I was shot because I didn't tell him I was shot. And by the grace of God, and I thank God, he wasn't shot because I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you. I'd be in prison, doing forever,

for sure. If what? My son would have got hit or die. Jesus, yeah. Definitely. We wouldn't be having this conversation. I know that that kind of thing is like fairly ordinary in L.A., but it's still like hard to even process the fact that this is the sort of thing that people do to each other,

that this is the level of cruelty that people perpetrate upon each other. I mean, as common as it is. It's still like sometimes you hear something like that, and it's just fucking, it's hard for me to even process how people do this to each other. It's life, man. It's a lifestyle. So we grew up amongst. Yeah.

You know, what else was there? You know, some made it out playing sport. Some made it out as big drug dealers. Some didn't make it out. Some made it out fast. Some made it out slowly. Some is still there. But, I mean, like that kind of shit of, you know,

know, just, I don't know. Obviously, I'm not in on all the specifics of it, but this is this like whole notion of people from certain areas just basically have to kill other people from other areas to get respect. I wouldn't really say just on a respect thing, like somebody killed one of your loved ones. Right.

I mean, people are not going to let it go. Yeah. And I mean, certainly like... It's like a tit for tat. In isolation, you can understand. Like, oh, well, this happened because this happened. I guess I get it. You have to come from it.

Yeah. To sincerely understand it, you have to really had grew up in it and really been there. Right. Like, it's hearing about it and actually living it, it's kind of like it's a difference. Okay, yeah, man, I heard that story. Oh, yeah, I've heard about that. But actually growing up in it, being a part of it, and this is all you know. You don't know nothing else.

It's all you know, hands down. But when you start mentoring a kid or talking to a young person now, is that usually at the forefront of your mind that you want to help them steer clear of this lifestyle? Yes. Yes. I definitely do. I definitely do, you know.

Like my family, K.O. sitting right there. I'd be on his head. You're getting older. Let's do different. Let's do things different. And that's what I tell everybody. Let's do things different now. Yeah.

You know? This is how I look at life. This is how I look at life, Adam. Five years from now, 10 years from now, 15 years from now, I want to still be living good. I want to still be living successful. Right. Some people can't see past the curb.

I live my life and structure my life like, okay, I got money now. Am I going to still have money five years from now? If I'm not doing what I need to do now to prepare for when that time come, then I'm not going to grow. I'm going to still be stuck here. Ten years from now, I want to still be in the same boat, same situation. Like I said, man, I got kids, you know. My daughter, Destiny, my daughter Tyler, my son, my junior.

You know, DJ and my daughter Anaya. Then I got five grandkids, you know, D3, Miliana, King, Rose, and Iiani. It's a lot to keep track of. Yeah. And, you know, when my son was, you know, when my son was younger, you know, I was still heavy into gang-banging.

You know, my two oldest daughters is from a different relationship. and then my son and my daughter, Anaya, same mom. And when my son was young, I wasn't the greatest father in the world. I was still heavy in the streets. I would put the streets before them. Really? Yeah.

Because I was so caught up into the lifestyle, you know? And that happens to people. That be so caught up in the lifestyle when you should be over here doing this, you're not because you're so caught up. And all I ever known was the streets. I was never taught how to be a father. And it's something that I have to learn to be. And I made my son a promise that I may not have been the greatest father when you were younger, but I'm going to make you a promise. And can we make an agreement and a promise? And I told him,

I promise to be an amazing grandfather to D3 and to Miliana. And that's a promise. And that's a promise I'm always live up to, mandatory. Yeah, does that in some way feel like that's your opportunity for you to make things right? You know, you have this like unspeakably horrible thing happened to you. It's like somehow you can write the wrong through at least changing this tradition in some way. Yes. I mean, because I look at life, I'm here for a reason. You know, a lot of people may not believe in God, but God kept me here for a reason.

I'm here for a reason. I'm here for a purpose. And I used to think music was my purpose. Yeah, I make hell of a music. I make music for the world. They love it. It helps them. Music is therapy. It's medicine. but what I realized and found out what my true calling was was me actually speaking verbally to people. Really?

Yes, it has more meaning than music. When did you figure this out? I figured this out 10 years ago, 10 years ago. What kind of speaking? What were you doing at that time? Going to schools. Kevin calls. is a gentleman who committed suicide

and his family reached out to me and every year they would have Kevin Cares 5K running walk and I would go speak and one year I spoke at Kevin Cause and the day I attempted suicide the actual paramedic that came on the car was there

Wow. And after I spoke and I, you know, walked off from the mic, he walked to me and he said, Muhammad's name's Muhammad. He has his own ambulance in the city of Compton too. He said, I was there that day. I came out. He was younger, but he said, I came out on that call. We took you to the hospital that day and he remembered me.

Wow. When you look back at that version of yourself that wanted to take their own life, How do you feel looking back at that version of yourself? What would you say to that person now? I would say I'm going to start with I have no regrets in life. None. Not even that. Not even that.

Because everything I went through made me who I am today. Had I not went through any of these things or been amongst this lifestyle, I don't know who I would be. So that's what led me to who I am today. That's what led me to what I'm doing today. So I have no regrets. But to anybody in the world that ever consider that, please don't. Life is better. There's nothing in this world that can go on in a person's life, that can happen in a person's life that would make them want to take their life.

Nothing, absolutely nothing that would make a person want to take their life. And that's what I let everyone know, no matter your age. Because people consider suicide nowadays young. I've read a story some years ago where a kid, seven years old, was being bullied at school. He committed suicide. Seven years old, he haven't even had a chance. to live life or no life, and he committed suicide. So suicide don't discriminate.

It don't care how old you are. It don't care what color your skin is. None of that matters to suicide. It happens. It goes through people's minds. Because, like I said, we live in an emotional time. So when people are going through emotions, some people are heavy drinkers,

some people are doing drugs, and they feel like they're doing this because their life is bad. Oh, well, forget it, man. I'm going to just do all these drugs and take the pain away. I'm going to drink all this liquor and take the pain away. But what about when you're sober? The pain is still there. To take the pain away, you've got to look at your life and say,

well, what is going on in my life that's holding me back? Because what's holding you back in your life are the things is keeping you from being the person that each and everyone can be successful. They can better their life. So if they cut out the things that's holding them back, because all of you can stop you. Right. I tell people that all the time.

All of you can stop you. And without someone encouraging them and inspiring them to that, then what do they have? They have no hope. They have no faith. So I know I'm here for a reason, and I'm here for a purpose. I can't save everybody.

I know that. I understand that. But if I could just save one person, I know my purpose and my reason of life. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. I'm doing what I'm still here to do. The opportunity, life is the opportunity every day. Yes.

And it's like that's the most important thing to try to get through anyone, one's skull, I think, if you're trying to convince them not to kill himself, is yes, your life is hard right now. Yes, things are not great. But you still wake up every day with at least the chance to make things better. And if you pull that trigger, then you're closing the door on that. And having the opportunity to improve things is always going to be better.

When you pull that trigger, you're closing the door on ever being able to experience anything ever again. True. I mean, that's what I've, anytime I've really felt horrible, the worst depression I've ever been in, that's always what's kind of kept me from even really thinking about it. But see, a lot of people don't even know they have opportunity. Yeah. A lot of people don't know they have talent. But what do you say to someone who's hypothetical?

Like, when we have that conversation about somebody who raises a kid for a couple of years and then finds out that it's not theirs. And to them, this is like they've created their whole world. They've gone years of having these emotions about this child. and then to find out that they've been lied to. Yes. I mean, for sure, do not commit suicide, but when I've heard that story, I think that's the kind of situation

that would test the person with the strongest resolve. Not just that situation, but this is my thing. You love this kid all this time. Yeah. Okay. You found out the kid wasn't yours. Yeah. So you mean to tell me you're going to stop loving this kid?

now you're being selfish. You want to know who suffers? The kid. The kid hurts more than the person finding out, oh man, all this time. I've been taking care of this kid 10 years, and now I find out it's not mine. So you're just going to walk away?

The kid. Now the kid is considering suicide because they're hurting more than the person that just found out it's not his child. You got to, to still love that kid. You have to. You can't walk away from that kid. You got to still embrace them. Okay. It happened. It happened. But don't turn your back on the kid at all.

For sure. When you think of what the good life is for you at this point. Yes. What really is worth living for? Yes. What do you try to fill your life with, especially being that you, you know, you made it through so much and you've lived in terrible circumstances and been through all kinds of horrible shit. What do you feel like life is all about now? I really feel like life is about being successful. And if you can help someone, help them. A lot of people are selfish. You know, a lot of people will become successful, especially in the music. You know, people will become successful. and close the door on everybody. But all doing the time where the grind is going,

oh, when I do this, when I make it, when watch, it's on, I'm going to look out and keep your word. That's my thing. You know, people don't live by their word no more like they used to. When I was coming up, if your word and you didn't keep your word, you got your teeth knocked out your mouth. Now, you know, people kind of, you know, brush it off. you know and be like oh okay forget it is what it is it's like you're supposed to get along with

everybody if you if you spaz out on somebody you're going to be looked at like you're a fucking tweaker or whatever he just hating you know just like a lot of people hate when I speak my mind but I speak the truth I speak from my nuts and I mean it speak from my gut I don't bite my tongue for nobody if I feel some way so I feel I'm gonna let it be known really does that got you in trouble over the years I put it like this. I don't get into trouble, but if a person wanted, I'll bring it.

Right. I'll bring it fast. And then I'm going to, you know, get home and, you know, go watch Cocoa Mellon with my granddaughter, Meliana, you know. Yeah. That cocoa melon's crazy. Yeah. I love that shit. I mean, that's, you know, I don't look for trouble no more.

I'm old school. O.G. Like, my demeanor is, I say what's up to everybody. Right. You know, say what's up to everybody. When you look at somebody like AD and, you know, obviously the music was a big outlet for him to get his personality out there to the world stuff, but now you're seeing him do the podcast and thing and having a real fan base doing that. He's doing Twitch and everything like that as well.

And then, you know, bringing other people in like T. Rowland shit who are from, you know, somewhat similar circumstances. Yeah. How does that make you feel? What do you think seeing like the new generation of people basically have? having like opportunities to make careers for themselves off their personality, not necessarily through the music even. My nephew will tell you, man, AD will tell you all the time. I tell him I'm proud of him.

I'm proud of him because I've seen the growth. And one thing I also let him know is he's never changed. Mm. No matter how high up he gets, he's still AD. A.D. A. He, he haven't changed. He, he don't act different. you know he don't switch up

and that's the key thing some people reach a certain peak in a career and they start filling themselves don't don't be don't let your ego be the thing that destroy you

because a lot of people that they they I'm on now I don't need nobody did nobody help me everybody had some help me everybody had some help. Oh, yeah.

Come on. But people forget because they get to fill in themselves. That eagle, head too big to be in the room. Right. Nephew ain't never done it. As soon as you hear somebody

starts saying that they're self-made, all you got to ask them is, did you pick where you were born? Did you pick who your parents are? Yeah. Did you pick where you went to school? Did you pick how well-taught and well-fed and well-clothed you were as a kid,

because the reality is that nobody chooses their fucking circumstances. Yes. And so anyone, you know, yes, yes, you can pat yourself on the bat if you've accomplished something for yourself in life, for sure. But don't delude yourself into thinking that you're actually self-made

because so much of this shit is a fucking roll of the dice, you know? It is. It definitely is. It is. It really is. I was just telling my bro epidemic that the other day, like, we, put so much, especially me, put a lot of time and money

into music and to helping people with their careers. Because it's about seeing people successful. I don't want to be the only person in the mall. I want us all. You know what I mean? That's just how I look at life. Not everybody look at life like that. You know, some people

instead of your, the team, don't call yourself a boss if you're the only person eating and that's what go on in these days we got a lot of people saying they bosses but everybody around you what position do they have why they're not bosses too why they're not why you're not helping them growing to becoming their own boss each one teach one I still live by that that that's how we grew up each one teach one you know I'm at a point where I can help some people, you know, with their music or whatever, I'm going to do that.

It helped them get in a position where they can help some people. Pass it down. Pass it down. That's how it go. Do you get just as much pleasure from teaching as you do from doing things yourself? Like they, I feel like a lot of people, I hear that from people who have really kind of seen a lot, done a lot, and they kind of get to the point where they figure out. the thing that makes them the happiest is helping others.

And it does. It really do. I'm tired of doing music. I do it for the passion and my overseas fans. Overseas in particular? Well, definitely my overseas fans all around the world because a couple years ago I was like, man, I'm retiring for music. I put out an album and O.Gs are forever.

I put that album out and I was like that's it this is the last album I'm releasing and my bro the native Voodoo Nation LLC put that album out

and I said this is it I ain't doing no more music and internet went crazy especially overseas what you mean how you're not putting

out no more music that only makes sense oh gee you tripping it got to the point to me I'm like all right I'm back in the studio right

I'm back working on a new album we got a new album coming out man and this particular album right here that I'm working on it it means a lot to me because I put a hell of a lot of heart into this one you know like miss price I got a son called phone called a heaven on this album that it means the world to me and days you know sometimes man I'll go to myself man like people think because who I am I may don't have some stress on me sometime.

I may don't have emotions on me sometime. You know, there's days that I go to myself and I'll sit and I'll shed tears. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. You know, I'll shed tears. I'd rather let it out than leave it in because that's what

led me to suicide before. Not saying I consider that now because it don't ever cross my mind. But Ms. Price was a person that no matter what I was going through, right wrong is somebody I could go sit down and talk to and

tell her. You know, even if I did something wrong, I used to tell her. Right. Sometimes she'd be blown away by it. Boy, you crazy? You know, but I would open up to her.

And, you know, sometimes I sit, man, and, you know, I have dreams about Ms. Price. And sometimes I, you know, I sit in the dreams that I have, you know, be so real. Like I really sitting there with her, talking to her. They be so real.

So real. She showed you love when you didn't even know what that is. Didn't know what love was. She taught me love. She taught me to love people. Because people used to come to the house and she would feed anybody. Practical stranger. Didn't have to know him.

And I used to wonder like, this is a bum off the street. Like, why he had to, I ain't even ate yet. Why he's sitting at the table? But I didn't understand it back then. Right. But as I got older, you know, I seen it. And I say, I see Ms. Price living through me because I look out for homeless people all the time. And I'm not the cat that's going to hand a homeless person some money and put my phone out and post it.

What am I doing that? I'm not trying to humiliate the person. Right. I want to help them. I know what I did. I don't have to show social media. I do it all the time. Ms. Price taught me to have that hard.

It's like sometimes I see her living through me. Like the things I do, I'd be like, wow, that's some Ms. Price would have did. I mean, you've had a hard life, but can you imagine how much harder it would have been if you didn't have something like her, you know? For real. For real. I totally agree and believe that. I probably would have remained in the system because her home was a temporary home.

Right. You know, just, she just, you know, she kept foster kids also. And it was, like I said, temporary. So we're going to drop the kid off and we'll figure out what we're going to do if they're going to go back to the parents, wants to court, make a decision. And she went through the steps. And nobody wanted me. Nobody wanted to come back and get me.

It was like, well, we don't know what to do with this one. I'm adopting. I want to keep him. She went through the steps. She did everything she could. And she adopted me. And she became my legal mother from the courts. And she loved me.

She used to tell me how when she first got me, like 90% of my body was covered in eczema. Really? Yes. I was bad. You know, rashes everywhere, like from my neck down in my feet. And she used to, and back then she used to put sides. on my hand because when people had eczema they used to put in those days they used to put socks on their hands so they wouldn't scratch right and I never knew how they used to put socks on my hand and then put rubber bands around it because I used to scratch till I bleed because my whole body was just everywhere it was just covered and I'm talking about constantly itching and she took care of me and it went away it went away how do you think about drugs at this point in your life because when I hit that story about your biological mother

abandon you and shit. It's like, you know, it's drugs turn people into monsters. Okay, but you're going to really not to give them an out by enemies. And that's where I was going with it. Again, I'll say

kids don't actually be here. Yeah. So, you mean to tell me, they chose drugs over me. So y'all loved drugs more than you loved your kids. So maybe you should have had drugs as a baby and not me.

Because that's an excuse. Oh, I hear it all the time. Oh, well, they was on drugs. They didn't know no better. They was on drugs. I don't want to hear that shit. That's an excuse. That's an excuse.

It's an excuse that's only acceptable if you're bare minimum that you expect from a person, just existing in society is that low. If that's all that we expect, if we expect so little of people that we expect them to not even take care of their kids, I mean, it's just, like, do you have a hard time with it when you, I'm sure you've had friends over the years who at some point more or less abandon their kid,

like let the girl take care of it. They're doing something else. Like, is it hard for you to reconcile with that? Well, I kind of tell people like the same thing. Like, man, kids don't. Man, I ain't dealing with her, so, you know, forget the kid, too. Like, how does that work? Okay, y'all not dealing with each other, but that's still your child.

Your child has your last name. Yeah. You're just going to turn your back. Like, it's not how life work. Some people block their own blessings from things they do. Right. You know, definitely block their own blessings from things that they do. Yeah.

I mean, I know I'm kind of green to the whole thing because I'm a brand new. dad it's just like impossible for me to imagine hey but i see you're doing a good job keep keep up to good work for you're doing a good job and and parker's going to be good i'm serious and i'm not just saying that to say it like yeah you're doing an amazing job just keep being an amazing father that's all i could tell you i mean everything you do you do for your family oh you know and some people don't live like that. Some people are everything they do, they do for themselves.

Yeah. You're not a selfish person. I mean, I'm lucky that I didn't have a kid until the point where I was ready, where I was at the point of my life where I was gonna, you know, I think about that all the time. If I had a kid when I was 18. Yeah, I was gonna say when you was younger,

it'd have been... And I wasn't even fucked up on drugs or anything. I was just young and out of control and probably realistically wouldn't have, you know, and it's... What would you call out of control when you was 18? Other than...

But I wasn't fucked on my drugs. I was out of control in the sense that all I cared about was, like, traveling and riding bikes and, like, just all this shit that we were into at the time that, you know, I don't think I would have been able to slow my life down. We got into drugs at that time? No, I wasn't. No. Weed, little weed.

He said that cat got in there. At that time, no, locally. I'm the rare one who made it through their, like, teens and early 20s without getting fucked up. That's what's up. That's what's up. Rare moment in time where that was actually cool to be drug-free. Okay. in my particular social circle.

And when you had, when y'all had Parker, you was ready to have a kid or? Yeah. Definitely. We were already boring as fuck. We were already like, I was like, we're paying too much attention to the kid or to the cat. To the cat.

The cat. And to like Netflix. Like we're like getting too into these shows that we're watching. We need something to take our attention away from this bullshit. That's what's up. Yeah, for sure. But so, I don't know. I mean, what do you have playing for the future?

and how do you think about what you have to offer to the world because I feel like you're probably going to have a lot of eyeballs hearing your fucking story for the first time. I feel like your DM inbox might be a little out of control for some time after this. But

what do you have playing in your life? And what do you feel like you still have to give to the world? Definitely we're getting ready to make on track music a household name. That's the record label. Right. And what I have to give to the world is, you know, definitely advice.

And I get what you're saying about the inbox because one thing about me, people would be blown away. I check every message I get. Right. And that's what shocks them the most. And they be like, man, I hit this person. They never even responded or left me on the red. But me, I don't leave a person message unseen. I make sure I'd answer every message because you never know.

That could have been a person that was reaching out that was considering suicide and was like, you know what, I should reach out to this person. I heard about this person. So I answer every message. And a lot of messages I get every single day, family is from people that's going through something. They just need someone to talk to. See, with me, when I was going. through my suicide thing,

I don't feel like I had anyone that I could sit down and talk to. Because when you mention the word suicide to somebody, the first thing they think you're crazy. You need to go in the mental hospital. Are you crazy? They get on the phone. This idiot over here talking about killing itself.

No. Talk to that person. Hear them out. Listen to them. Some people just want somebody to listen to them that's not going to judge them. That's not going to look down on them because they're thinking about suicide. I'm that person.

I listen to them. And I give them real advice. Not off something I read out a book or a newspaper, but from experience. And I give them real advice. And where I really blow their minds at is I reach out and check on them. Week later, two weeks later, just want to reach out, see how you doing, and hope everything good and you stand on track and they'd be blown away like,

man, I can't believe it, man, I got family, don't even reach out to me. You really took time out your day to reach out to me to see how I was doing. The littlest thing could make a difference. I've spoke to a person before and this person was thinking about killing themselves. And I seen them at a 7-Eleven.

And they was literally thinking about killing themselves. And I was like, hey, how you doing? I hope your day going well. And it was like, man, do you mind if I talk to you for a few minutes? So, yeah, sure, why not? He said, man, why did you speak to me right now? I speak to everybody. Like, he said, man, that really just made my day, man,

because I really feel like nobody care about me. Like, I don't have no reason to live, man. I've been thinking about killing myself. And I said, why? man I'm homeless you know my people's kicked me out I'm out here on the streets and nobody don't care about me and he said man just just that alone you speaking to me made me think about it man and I promise you I changed my mind and I'm not going to think that way no more and I told him like there's shelters there's there's there's outlets out there that can help you until you can help yourself

And like I said, the littlest thing, people don't realize the littlest thing because we live in a time where a lot of people are selfish. They care about themselves only. Oh, I don't care that. That's on them. They're doing bad. That's on them. No, me, I live life and I work hard because suicide get kicked under the rug so much. I live a life family to be the face of never give up.

And that's what I push hard for to be the face of never give up. Because every day above ground is a blessing. Life is amazing. Some people need to be told that. Not everyone have guidance. Not everyone has someone that they can talk to when they're going through something. Because a lot of people, like I said, are looked down on. I don't look down on nobody.

For sure. That's an amazing story, honestly. I mean, I was holding back tears in the beginning part of this fucking story about what happened to you when you're a kid. And then the suicide thing and you getting your life together after that is kind of awe-inspiring. And then these motherfuckers trying to drag you back into it, the story you're getting shot later in your life. It's just like, fuck. I don't know, man. It's a wild story.

I kind of looked at that as well. Like, even the second time when I got shot in 08. I was at a party, you know, young cat, man, that, you know, I've been knowing since he was a kid. Didn't you say the first one was 07? Yeah, 07. Then in 08. So, yeah, there's two back to back almost. Yeah, then in 08, but I got hitting the leg that time, man.

And it was kids out there. So, you know, I was standing on, you know, I was on my phone. I was standing by my Hummer. I was on my phone. And I remember somebody saying, hey, watch that car right there. And when I, you know, looked up, you've seen the front window and the back window. go down and two cats come out the window with burners. And I look, I'm like, oh shit, spin off.

I got hitting a leg that day, but it was kids out there. I'd rather take a bullet than see a kid take a bullet straight out. Was the reason why this happened a mystery to you? I wouldn't say it's a mystery. Sometime, I guess, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. and then I also look at it like I've done a lot of bad things in life Right

A lot of bad things in life You know, I've done So much bad things in life I couldn't see it Right So sometime I, you know, a couple times I looked at that as, you know what? Okay

Do you live with guilt For some of the stuff that you've been forced to do? I have no Would you describe something that was being forced to do? No, I've never been forced to do anything. But do you feel like at some point, some of the stuff you kind of... I grew up with no remorse in a bottomless stomach.

So I've seen things that some people would throw up on that I'll sit there and eat a full meal in front of it. Straight out. Hands down with no problem. Takes a lot to bother you in that regard. Take a hell of a lot to bother me. For real. Hell of a lot. I could imagine.

If you bother me, I'm going to bother you back. And my bother is, oh, yeah, it's crazy. But I would assume, you know, you're a grown man. You stay out of trouble for the most part? I don't get in no trouble. Like I said, this is what I do. I give advice to people. I don't bother nobody.

Don't bother me. And we cool, you know? Because if you take me out of character, it's going to get ugly. It's going to get ugly. because when I get out of character, I black out. And I don't know what happened until after someone tell me, because I don't remember, I black out. But for the most part, I love just living life, chilling, smile on my face,

just go to the studio, let's make music. I want to see mine eat, man. That's what it's about. And I want to see people win everybody, man. Not just people I know. I want to see everybody win, man. There's so many people around the world that's going through things. man and that feel like life is this, just own them, just own them, you know, from relationship,

people in relationships and, you know, they having arguments, you know, with their girls and just everyday normal life, put stress on a person to where to put them in a dark spot. And sometime when people get in a dark spot, they don't know how to come back to the light. I show them how to come back to the light because one thing I know for sure I'm one person on this planet when somebody tell me they consider in suicide I can relate

I know what they feel like I've walked in their shoes that's why people reach out to me because they're like this is one person I know for sure understand me let me hit them up I give up my phone number I've been had this number 17 years people call me

from all around the globe, either on my regular number or WhatsApp, because my international people call me on WhatsApp, and we talk, and they tell me what's going on. I guess you could say, I'm a therapist. I didn't go to school for it. It came naturally. It came from self-experience. Respect.

It's a crazy story, man. How can people stay in tune with you? What's the best way? Instagram, obvious. Yeah. Definitely. Instagram, OG suicide, OG, C-U-I-C-C-I-C-E, and anybody, anybody, all walks of life, whoever you are, if there's ever a time and you feel like you don't have anyone to talk to, or you don't want nobody to look at you as being weak, or you don't want nobody to look down on you. my personal cell phone number is 310 9389376 310 938 9376 don't ever feel like you don't want to be a burden you don't want to bother me with your problems because I give up my number for a reason and a purpose and I'm here for you respect and treat that number with respect mandatory appreciate your time man It was a real honor, honestly.

Like, your story is one of the craziest that I've heard in the thousand plus interviews that I've done. It's awe-inspiring, and, you know, it's kind of an honor to know someone who's really made it through the ringer like you have and came out on the other side. Appreciate it. Likewise. And I think you're going to inspire a shit little of people, too, especially people going through shit. And it's a lot of people going through things right now. Yeah, ain't that the truth. O.G. Suicide.

Appreciate you, man. Likewise. No Jumper. Coolest podcast in the world. Check us on YouTube, TikTok, Patreon, Instagram, et cetera. Like, comment, and subscribe. If you could,

subscribe to the No Jumper Clips channel. And make sure you tap in with OG Suicide on streaming services and Instagram. Probably be the best ones. Appreciate you, man. Appreciate you.