No Such Thing As A Fish - 207: No Such Thing As Harry Potter And The Great Overreaction

Episode Date: March 9, 2018

Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss suspended babies, computer-generated sweet nothings, and the man who waters his house every day.

Uh Hello and welcome to another episode of no such thing as a fish a weekly podcast this week coming to you from the bright end My name is Dan Schreiber and I'm sitting here with Anna Chazinski Andrew Hunter Murray and James Harkin And once again, we have gathered around the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last seven days And in no particular order here. We go starting with you Chazinski My fact this week is that until the 17th century mothers hung their babies up on hooks while they worked You just hung them up like a coat Were they is it yeah, is it like everyone who works at the same place has a number above their buck

If you go to the restaurant, you just leave your baby in the cloakroom. Yeah, and if you lose your ticket, you're absolutely pocket Can you describe it well it is small it's not got much hair This but this is genuinely true So this baby seems to be swaddled for long periods of history It was thought that it was good for them to be very tightly swaddled, you know like wrapped up in material So their limbs could grow straight. That was the belief and once they were swaddled Then they would just be latched on to a hook that was maybe in your house If you're doing the housework or sometimes mothers would be working out in the fields doing agricultural work and you could hook them onto a tree

like a bit of twig That was how they did it. Wow Is that where like the rocker by baby kind of thing comes from? You're not rocking them really you're swinging them if you're doing anything Because he's on a tree top right is he's in a he's definitely in a vessel lying down comfortably Not a small baby from the tree side Yeah, keep holding your ticket or baby will disappear So this used to happen all over the place the in Sweden women would carry their children in what was called a bog

Just put your baby in the bog baby bog. What was that? What was it? It was a bag Sounds like a typo Yeah, it's where we get the word back from but it was it was a leather container shaped into a bag Same principle there's there's actually still a thing today in amongst indigenous North Americans Where there's a thing called cradle boards and these have been a thing for hundreds of years And they're sort of flat boards that you strap a baby to and in a very similar way You can then hang them on a tree or lean them against a tree and they were very commonly used and there are a few Tribes like the shoe or the Iroquois or the Cherokee who are all kind of bringing them back in a sort of artisan way

They're really beautiful if you look them up and they're for hanging babies up And actually they think that carrying babies or having like bogs or bags or whatever to put babies in is Probably one of the biggest inventions in the history of mankind. Wow It's up there with like, you know writing and the wheel and fire and all that kind of stuff Well, it meant that mothers could carry food as well as carrying the child So once you had a child if you just had to hold it the whole time Basically, you weren't able to do anything else, but this meant that they could carry food They can go hunter gathering as well. Wow

So prams used to not really be a thing and if you did have a pram you that's actually true of everything that was invented iPhones didn't used to be a thing really Yeah, that's fair But basically in Germany when it was invented particularly mothers used to pull along prams and obviously you can't see if the babies fallen out So the push pram was it was a genuine innovation But in Germany until 1888 you had to have a license to take a child out in a pram This was so the police knew you had to permit permission to be out with basically a small vehicle and you had to name the baby You had to say I'm gonna be taking Jeff out in the pram

Wait, so if you're taking a different baby out in the pram, then you'd lose your license or whatever you're arrested six months six months present No, I don't know The other thing is around the same time in Britain any vehicle with four wheels was counted as a road vehicle Okay, so they got the new prams which had like a bassinet and they had four wheels a previous ones only had three and those Four-wheelers you could get arrested for walking down the street with one of those and people did people got prosecuted If you walked on the pavement with them instead of the road So responsible advice push your baby along in the middle of the road Wow

Another pregnancy thing actually giving birth thing there is a medical text from the 12th century called the trotula and One of the instructions in there is if you're giving birth you should induce sneezing To the woman because apparently when you sneeze it helps to contract your womb and push the child out and they genuinely did this Wow, I mean, I mean it's an unpleasant process anyway I've heard but having someone pour pepper into your nostrils Make the whole thing even worse. Well, they also said that the womb reacted differently to different kinds of smells So the womb would push towards sweet smells and away from unpleasant smells What so if you're giving birth near a baklava stand, you'll just be drawn magnetically over to it

And I don't know why a baklava stand was the first thing I thought It's a good as a good as an elite twat But so women didn't used to be allowed to be at birth so there was a long tradition of only women being There was one woman allowed at every birth so for many centuries Doctors weren't allowed at birth because men weren't allowed to see a woman giving birth because it was thought to be improper So actually the only people that you would be allowed to have when you were giving birth were Midwives after a while and astrologers because some women were astrologers So you couldn't have a doctor to tell you it was gonna be okay

if you could have an astrologer to give you a prediction of whether the baby was gonna survive and Then when doctors started taking over in the 19th century It was decided that actually women couldn't handle being in the room with other women giving birth Even though I guess they are the ones that do it in the end But the Lancet medical journal wrote in 1868 that women are too delicate to watch someone else giving birth And only men could brave the revolting scenes of child We just can't hack it because we actually never have to see it Right, I think you're just lay there going can anyone smell back lover

That is such a Sagittarius thing to say Do you know what just I was looking at medieval child rearing. Oh, yeah, so what happened in medieval Europe was Basically once you got to the edge of 14 you would just be sent away on a French exchange forever You you'd be sent to to be a servant in someone else's house for seven to ten years Was it always in France? It wasn't always in France actually. It was always not in France. It was never in France. It was So You were sent on a French exchange trip forever, which was not in France and only lasted seven years. Yeah, I Can see I'm gonna be accused of sexing up this fact

Think of an analogy basically you'd do a swap every everyone just sent away their child to someone else's house And then you you would get someone else's child being a servant in your house Yeah, and everyone did this right up to the aristocracy because they thought that it was easier to bring up someone else's child, didn't they? Yeah, that's cool. Have you guys heard so again around the sort of medieval period of the groaning cheese? This is really this is really cool It was just a tradition that people would do and the idea was that when you got pregnant You knew you were pregnant You would mature a wheel of cheese for the nine month period that you were pregnant

And then once the baby was born you would share out the cheese amongst family and friends And you would all eat the cheese, but it would leave the outer Rind of the of the cheese and on christening day they would pass the baby through Yeah Like and that's where we get the tradition of the woman bursting out of the cake, isn't it? Yes. Yes. No But yeah, that was the groaning cheese That's amazing. Yeah How bizarre

Um, did you on uh, buggies and ways of pushing children around? Did you see the survey that was done by scoda? But it was seeing what fathers thought about pushing buggies around. It's quite recent It was it discovered that 33 percent of fathers said they were embarrassed by their pram or push chair So they felt emasculated pushing them around 76 percent of dads said they'd be more likely to push a pram if they had access to a stylish high spec buggy That could go And so there's this one guy called Colin furs who in 2013, but yeah, Colin furs. He's broken a load of records

So he likes breaking records and he's broken the record for the world's fastest pram So he found out his wife was pregnant and he thought the way to be supportive was to Attach a motorbike engine to a pram And create something that can go up to 80 kilometers an hour Which it does you can't put a baby in it Because that would be really dangerous, but he says he does put dolls in it just to freak out onlookers Wait, but hang on is he is he wearing roller skates? No, but he has a little skateboard attached to the back that he can stand on So it pulls him along

It's really cool. That's incredible It's really cool, but his wife is still having to push the baby along in a normal pram some way behind him Okay, it is time for fact number two and that is james Ah, yes, my fact this week is that there's a man in brazil who's been living in a sandcastle for 22 years He has to constantly water his house to prevent it from collapsing It's extraordinary. Yeah, so this is just a guy. He lives in Rio. He lives in brazil He's he's known as king marcio and he has this really awesome looking

Sandcastle it's like just imagine like a really ornate sandcastle It's quite small on the inside. It's only about three square meters And it's full of books because he has two hobbies reading and beach golf Hmm. Yeah, beach golf. Yeah, it's just one big bunker. I guess Um, but he lives there and he basically if you go to rio and you go to his house He has a little scepter and he has photos taken with um with tourists and stuff like that That's very cool It has a roof right because none of my sandcastles ever had roofs. Did they not?

Well, no, they just be basically a wall. Isn't that the standard sandcastle? Yes, unless you just do the upturned bucket in which case it's all roof A lot of sandcastles like these really ornate ones you see on you know, they do competitions Don't they and stuff like that and the way that they do that is they super compact it So they really really really compact the um the sand and this is an ancient way of building things So actually the great wall of china a lot of that is made like this. So it's basically just one big sandcastle Joking honestly That's amazing except they use different materials

Well, some of it for some of the great wall china they just it's just kind of mounds and that's just literally sand compacted really hard What happens when the tide comes in? It tends not to in the middle of china Doesn't quite reach that's where all kids are going wrong is building them on bloody beaches But they've also worked out the exactly perfect way now to build a sandcastle and when I say they I mean physicists But it's actually quite surprising So this is a couple of years ago There was some experimenting there were some studies and it was found out that the strongest sandcastle

Will be 99 part sand to one part water Which I think is not very as much water as I was probably doing And the person who did this study is a guy called dr. Bond who's a physicist And he said the best way to do it is to tamp wet sand into a mold But a mold that's like open at the top on the bottom So like a bucket without a bottom and then thump it at least 70 times Before which no one has the time for on a beach Um, you know actually a best place to build um a sandcastle the best sand for a sandcastle is on

Titan the largest moon of satan Whoa, really? Yeah, it's the best place in some ways to do it in other ways. I wouldn't recommend it You get that I forgot the bloody bucket Right turn it around Well, this is amazing. They have sand dunes on titan But their sand has got static electricity in it and so it self adheres Do you know what I mean? So you kind of put it together and it's never going to fall apart because it all sticks together with static electricity

That's amazing. It's really cool. That is cool, isn't it? It's worth going for that Um, you can be fined for stealing sand from sardinia even if you take a small drinks bottle full of sand You can be fined a thousand euros And this is a big problem because people keep on stealing sardinia basically and people are worried about it in the summer months of 2015 They seized five tons In smaller and bigger consiments, but lots of it was just little bottles which people take as a souvenir Wow, yeah, that's good. And that's because we're running out of sand, right? Yeah Which is a weird sentence in its own right, but we are running out of sand on earth

Have you guys heard of the great sandcastle dispute of 1900? No So this was uh It was like the original first world war except it happened in rill in north wales and it was quite a small deal, but It was basically bovril, which was a relatively new company at that point sponsored a sandcastle building contest And it was the idea was that you had to build a sandcastle that was extremely impressive and you had to have bovril's logo somewhere on it and so some people picked up on the idea and in the same place in north wales This alcohol merchant copied it copied the whole idea and had a lot of kids come to the beach And compete over who could build the best sandcastle and include the name of his whiskey on the sandcastle

So he was encouraging lots of kids to advertise his whiskey basically And so then this spiraled out of control because temperance movements got really upset at the fact that they were using kids as a vehicle to advertise Extremely strong liquor and so these temperance movements Ran a rival contest for who could build a sandcastle that denounced drink and alcohol in the strongest possible terms Poor kids so torn Wow That's awesome. Um, I found the thing which uh really surprised me. Um, this was from 1990 It was a scientific report that was looking into there's always the thing of um, you know

Vending machines kill more people than sharks do per year. So do sandcastles more than sharks per year sandcastle sand tunnels So anything where you're trying to construct via sand and the collapse is is very dangerous So in 1990 they found 16 people died of it as opposed to 12 Which is how many were killed by sharks in that year. Wow. Yeah What a way to go running ashore thinking. Oh finally have avoided that shark Well Pretty good day for me

Bang sandcastle I Well life gods have to Watch out for people digging two deep holes on beaches So this is they have fewer complaints about going out and having to save people from sharks and they do About going and having to tell kids or adults to stop building such a deep hole I was reading something by a lifeguard called Annie Howe Who was saying she's been alive for over nine years and she often has to warn beach goers that in her words their excavations are getting out of control

And she says that no hole should be more than knee deep for the smallest person in the group So I think we have all surely contravened that because that's part of the fun Isn't it trying to dig to australia? It's exactly Is it is sorry it's not so that people don't dig to australia? I presume no It's an anti immigration thing because I think the australians will come back up. I get it Sorry, I should add for what I said earlier about sandcastles and Tunnels being the fatality thing. It's actually majoritvly people digging holes

So when people are walking at night on a beach not knowing there's a massive hole, that's how they Yeah, no, it's mostly the main danger is sound falling in on you. It's not a danger people walking at night falling into the holes But I think I think others right. I think it's the holes collapse. It's not people It's very tough. Who's got the muscle power to dig a hole so big that it falls in on you It's not no, it's about the foot. I almost killed my grandmother that way. She well Better luck next time I did I didn't intend to I was I was at her house and I dug a hole in the garden And I didn't tell her and she went out at night and she um, she ended up in hospital and but she's okay

But didn't you grow up in australia? Yeah, you try to dig to the uk Okay Yeah, uh, okay, it is time for fact number three and that is my fact My fact this week. Oh boy My fact this week is queen elizabeth the first was a man According to the Dracula author bram stoker Yeah, isn't that amazing? This is the fact that the year before I mean he was writing fiction quite a lot He was writing fiction, but the year before he died

He wrote a non-fiction book and it was called famous imposters and the idea was to expose con artists And it was to expose hoaxes and so on however There's one chapter in it in which he claims and he did proper investigation into it that queen elizabeth the first Was a man and he actually published that and obviously it's it's not true, but it's so crazy. Well, let's not reject it That's a lot of compelling evidence. Let's hear the evidence Well, he said things like for example, uh, she never married. Uh She used to wear a lot of wigs he said someone's trying to hide a bald spot. She used to wear one wig at a time But she didn't wear a stack of wigs

Yeah, no, but she was constantly famously according to him was wearing wigs Um, the story is that basically when the original this is according to I need to specify this is not my theory This is a very famous author brand sirker He said that when queen elizabeth was 10 years old She was visiting bizzli which is in Gloucestershire and while she was there the plague was very rife and she got ill And she passed away the the place bizzli thought that they were going to suffer the wrath of Henry and so they quickly had to replace her. However, they didn't find a girl who is anyone still listening

Is Yeah, so they couldn't find a girl that would match her complexion to fool Henry And so they did find this one boy and they said you're gonna have to now be Elizabeth and he said okay, and And then and it worked and he was like, yeah, it worked and we're gonna have to stick with this and so, uh, okay It's time for fact number four This is basically the class hamster has died theory of english history Because actually if you because I read that book um today and he says that because

The people of bizzli still believe it that it must be true Right because he's like if it wasn't true, there's no way they'd still believe that shit Yeah, and for a long time There used to be a thing where they would dress boys as queen elizabeth And so the idea was that there was a local vicar who started this rumor Um, what's interesting is that brand stoker effectively was a conspiracy theorist, which is very bizarre For the time as well and and he was no one believed him obviously at the time But it is a well they did because as in it was a theory that had existed for since queen elizabeth

And he popularized it So there were people who genuinely thought that and there are people who put together lots of evidence about it like The fact that um her writing style changed apparently as soon as she left bizzli so um when she was seven years old Yeah, so everyone's She started writing in cursive. She must be a man James 10 years old. Oh, sorry. Yeah. No, it did change and yeah, that was pretty much it in the week A young girl's diary to just football scores every week I'll wait to soup up my pram

So the Times reviewed the book as tommy rott. Yeah, um the original manuscripts is signed bs But it was by bram stoker But that's just as good evidence as the stuff you're giving me that it's just not true, right? Hang on again. It's not my evidence But it is true that bram stoker was a conspiracy theorist That is the curious thing and I had a look at the book and it's got loads of other hoaxes that have happened in history It's some he's just reporting. So there's one called the cat hoax of 1815 Uh, which is where napoleon was about to be sent to st. Helena It's a very distant island and it was supposedly over on with rats

And people put up signs around the city of chester Saying that the government desperately needed lots of cats to wipe out all the rats on st. Helena to make it fit for napoleon And if you bring your cat to this address tomorrow, the government will give you quite a lot of money for it And it was mayhem. It was absolutely People brought hundreds and hundreds of cats So was it a hoax that it was just some random person who you didn't like and they went there? It was an empty house. So no one knows exactly why it was it wasn't although that would be a hell of a prank I know it's like ordering a pizza to someone but with cats. Yeah

But bram stoker did write some questionable stuff, didn't he a lot of it's been discovered recently so A book of his notes was discovered in the 90s and basically he loves puns and he loves really rude jokes So there's there's a really good joke. Um, I'm just gonna see if it works You for this joke to work. You do actually have to know what a canticle is Does everyone know what a canticle is? I don't know what one is. Oh, yes We've got some churchgoers in the audience. It's like a religious song. It's like a it's like a hymn, isn't it? Um, so this is a really funny joke. Why is death like a psalm? I don't know. Why is death like a psalm? Is it something to do with canticles?

James you've absolutely nailed it Because I'm gonna cut out the bit where you said you need to know what You look like an absolute genius. Um, no, it's quite clever because kicking the bucket resembles a can tickle Yeah, well Yeah, it just shows that comedy changes I suppose So Dracula just briefly on Dracula Did you know the first adaptation of Dracula for the stage happened before the novel came out? Really? No way. Why so he worked for many years as the manager to the actor Henry Irving

Who was incredibly famous in victorium times cumberbatch levels of famous and he ran his theater the lyceum, which is in london it's in the west end and Stoker had been writing this novel for a very long time and it debuted at the lyceum theater where he worked And stoker had been working on it for seven years It was only performed once and after the performance he asked his boss Henry Irving the incredibly famous actor what he thought The the only word Irving said in reply was dreadful I know but I think it may have been you know, it was full of dread because it's a very spooky story So and a lot of people say to me after gigs Andy that was dreadful

And I think that's why That'll be it and so when they say it's awful it's because they're full of awe exactly. Yeah. Yeah, and when they say shit I Can't win them all We should say that um, he was not famous in his own time So I went back through the British newspaper archive Looking for his obituary and when he died All the obit said he was the manager of Henry Irving

so as Andy says Henry Irving was the cumberbatch and literally it was just An addendum at the end of the obit would be and he wrote a number of novels But Henry Irving what a guy and Henry Irving was quite an exciting guy and a really nice person as far as I could tell and He had this lovely coincidence where he was an actor and his last Work he performed on stage was the day that he died This was in 1905 and his last words on stage were into thy hands. Oh lord And then he had a stroke that night and he died and then all the newspapers reported it as pathetic end to a great career

Which pathetic men a different thing a hundred years ago, but now it just looks incredibly harsh No, no, no, a lot of people say to me Andy that was pathetic Did you know um, we're just on boys dressed as girls and girls dressed as boys In the Elizabethan theater, uh, all the roles of girls were played by boys But I didn't know this you could be officially legally kidnapped if you were a child and put in a play Really, but yes, what this was not illegal. So Theatres if they had a license could abduct children And put them in place. Whoa, this is real. So you'd get back to your meat hook and you'd be like, where's my

Queen Elizabeth granted permission to theaters I Yeah, um, it was originally so they could get choristers for the royal chapel But the theaters all did it too and no one really minded. There are legal cases surviving of people saying I quite like my son back I can't with it was there just not enough interest In the profession. No, right Well, I think we've got a shortage of teachers at the moment haven't been in this country There's something to think about. Um, we're gonna have to move on to the final fact soon anything before we do

Can I give you another brown stoker joke? Oh Do you want to save it to close the show or We might need a big one at the end. I felt like these guys appetites. They couldn't wait. Okay. Let's let's do it Now, do you all know what a chasable is? You do actually need to know what a prince consort is but I see He has to be Come on Bryton. So the question is Why is the letter p like a prince consort?

Anyone? No, okay. I'll give you the answer Because because it makes a queen regnant a queen pregnant Oh, yeah, you also have to know what queen regnant is That actually got quite a good response. All right, isn't it? That's that's probably the first time anyone said that joke on a stage since bram stoker. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, um, should we move on to our final fact on the night? Yeah. Yeah Okay, it is it is time for our final fact of the show and that is andrew hunter murray My fact is that when a computer tried to come up with romantic messages for love heart suites based on existing ones

It came up with bear wig meat mate Bong love And you are bag In sweden, it was you are park wasn't it? They're great, aren't they? Well, no, yeah, if they were great, it wouldn't be a good fact Uh, so there is a researcher. I think she's american. She's called janelle shane and she specializes in building neural networks

So this is where you feed a machine a load of information and you try and encourage it to come up with more things that are like it With varying degrees of creativity so you can dial it up or dial it down to get them more accurate or more imaginative And she did this with love hearts. You fed in a load of love hearts and some of them were really good So there was a cute kiss And uh, my bear, which is quite sweet. Yeah, that's good. Some of them were okay. I'm good You are babe They're all right, but then there were others which included, um, pin a face Sweat poo

And my favorite one loved 2000 hogs. Yeah It's hard to imagine them fitting that on the suite, isn't it? Yeah, I also saw um stank love my hag whole And you hack That's one to give to bram stoker after his set And this for overseas uh listeners because I didn't I didn't know they were called love hearts I've called them sweet hearts, which I think in america is what they're called

So it's the same sometimes conversation hearts as well. Yes. Yeah So it's it's a little sugary heart with a message on it for yeah Yeah, and apparently I think in the 80s in britain at least they wanted to get drop dead gorgeous on the suites But it was too long and so they instead went with drop dead And because what I remember I remember growing up and seeing drop dead on that and always I thought it was just like You know russian roulette of you know, you're gonna get You're just gonna get one bad one And you never know like you give someone a sweet and it might be a nice one. It might be not not a nice one

Might be you are bag So they're obviously they have to change it as this as the years go go around so in the 1950s they phased out Hey, daddio That's ready for a comeback, isn't it? I think so Right wikipedia claims that fax me is still on the list Which I cannot believe Fax me there is one that's grow up and

That was actually the cause of a complaint that the love hearts company received from a man Who was trying to placate his wife after a row and he gave her a tube of love hearts and the first message that she saw was grow up And she left him The article said grow up is still in production. So they obviously didn't think that was a good enough reason to discontinue Wow Grow up. That's not that is one of those like not good ones though, isn't it? Yeah, I can't think of a good way that grow up could be used Um with me

Grow up with me grow old with me. It's more grow old with me I can't believe Um some more recent ones from 2014 on the love hearts. Oh, yeah, um skype me is now one YOLO is one tot hella And this is a good one for me or repet Oh, that's great. That's a good one, isn't it? Oh, you can fax me Um

So the the very original love hearts they were called conversation lozenges. That was the original name Yeah, I know it's so good. Um, and they date from the 1820s. These are seriously old things And they they originally had the message on the wrapper and then eventually the message migrated onto the suite But the messages said things like can you polka? Do you flirt? Or the highly flirtatious. No, I won't ask mama But then the the the temperance movement got hold of the love heart and they started putting on messages like Misery sickness and poverty are the effects of drunkenness They ruin everything

There was it was a real fashion in the victorian era for sweets that had a message on them And the lrb pointed out that the rage for sweets with a message was initially delayed by the illiteracy prevailing in the market But successive education acts did for readable sweets what they also did for penny dreadfuls and newspapers So they became more popular But sticks of rock with a message inside which we are familiar with today, right were popular in the 1800s And the first mention of sticks of rock with a message came in the 1860s What was mentioned in someone's diary and messages inside sticks of rock included. Do you love me? Do you love sprouts?

And sir robert peal who was a recently deceased prime minister I'm just sucking on a stick of rock and saying tereza may's name being spelled out And so the american ones are not made by swizzles. They're made by neko necco, which is a new england candy company They also make candy buttons and havelin mince and a few other things But there are a few things that they don't make anymore Including whorehound ovals jujube mono planes Wang bees

And climax mint patties They sound great, don't they? I mean, I'd love to at the end of a meal. Would you like a climax mint patty? They sound like sort of x-rated harry potter sweet shop when you go behind the door. That's what you get Wang bees Well, uh, just on the topic of ai sort of, uh, generating this new stuff and bizarrely harry potter You're mentioning that. Um, I found an amazing ai generated harry potter book the other day Uh, it's made by this online company called botnik studios their online artists to do They're really cool really fun stuff and what they did is they fed into this machine

All seven books of harry potter and they understood the language and and so on and kind of got their heads around it And it pumped out an original harry potter book And uh, yeah, it's it's an amazing book. I'll read you a couple. Do you know what it's called? Yeah, I um I thought I had the title here. I'm missing it at the moment I'll see if I can find it before the end of the show, but um, I'll give you a couple of extracts from it This is from chapter 13 the handsome one. It's called Leathery sheets of rain lashed at harry's ghost as he walked across the grounds towards the castle Ron was standing there and doing a kind of frenzied tap dance

He saw harry and immediately began to eat hermini's family And then this is that's a bit from the order of the phoenix This is the very next page harry could tell that voldemort was standing right behind him. He felt a great overreaction Harry tore harry tore his eyes from his head and threw them into the forest In fairness that is an overreaction Voldemort raised his eyebrows at harry who could not see anything at the moment Ron threw his wand at voldemort and everyone applauded ron smiled ron reached for his wand slowly Not so handsome now thought harry as he dipped hermini in hot sauce

That is amazing the whole granger family is edible in this Yeah, they are not they are not like this is an amazing bit as well Voldemort, you're a very bad and mean wizard harry savagely said hermini nodded Encouragingly the tall death eater was wearing a shirt that said hermini has forgotten how to dance So hermini dipped his face in mud I mean it reads awesomely I read one um it might not be as good as that but I read one um about um fortune cookies So they used ai to find some fortune cookie things um one of them is a short pencil is usually better than a bird in the future

Do not have a peaceful place where you will feel better And this one carve your name on your parents I mean we're laughing now, but they're gonna kill us Okay, that is it. That is all of our facts Thank you so much for listening If you'd like to get in contact with any of us about the things that we've said over the course of this podcast We can be found on our twitter accounts. I'm on at tribal and uh andy at andrew hunter m james It's james harkin and jasinski you can email podcast at qi.com

Yep, uh, or you can go to our group account, which is at no such thing or you can go to our website No such thing as a fish.com where we have all of our previous episodes. We have links to more of our tour dates our book Uh, we also have recommendations for great things to read like a book called harry potter and the portrait of what looked like a large pile of ash And It also has a link uh to our exclusive Cassette, which is only actually available on tour at the moment But you can find out where to get it and we're about to give one away to one of the members of this audience And we've picked out a fact that was sent to us at the top of this show james. You got it

It's from john plat and the fact is if a human could move their arm one tenth as fast as a mantis shrimp They could throw a baseball into orbit Whoa, wow so john So john if you come and find us we'll give you your cassette Yeah, and we'll all be out there guys, uh with our consensus if you want to come and say hi