No Such Thing As A Fish - 506: No Such Thing As Jenga Cop
Episode Date: November 23, 2023Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Heads, Senna, Leas and Toes. Leas and Toes. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free epi...sodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon
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Hi everyone, just before we started this show, we wanted to remind you of something that you should already be well aware of,
which is that our esteemed colleagues and co-podcasters, Dan Treiber and Andrew Hunter Murray have both written books,
and they are truly fantastic books. So, if you have anyone in your life who is a fish fan? Who God forbid? Think that Dan and Andy are the superior half of fish? Perhaps that person is you.
Then why not get them for Christmas? A book by Dan and a book by Andy.
Dan has written the theory of everything else.
And honestly, when I read it on every page, I thought,
how have you been hogging these facts for this book,
rather than sharing them on the podcast, it is so selfish.
But it's made for a brilliant book, stunning revelations on every page.
Andy has written the last day and the sanctuary.
They're both thrillers, they're real page turners, they're a fantastic twist and turns,
and of course they're making some very intelligent points about society today.
So get both of those for anyone you know who's a big fan
of Dan and Andy. But Anna, what if the people listening to this
prefer this half of the podcast, the James and Anna half of the podcast? What are those
people going to do? Oh, you mean the 95 other percent of our listeners? I don't know, James,
have we done anything interesting lately? We have indeed. I don't know if you recall,
because it was before you went on maternity leave.
But we wrote a book called Everything to Play for, The QI Book of Spots.
And it is another book that is jam full of facts.
Do you know why ancient Egyptian athletes remove their splines?
Why pool balls no longer explode on impact?
How bum-slapping improves team performance?
All that and more, you can learn in our book,
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the QI Book of Spot.
But the truth is, if you or anyone you know
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On with the show. On with the show!
I'm with the podcast. Hello and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a weekly podcast coming
to you from the QI offices in Hobard.
My name is Dad Schreiver, I am sitting here with James Harkin, Andrew Hunter Murray, and
Anna Toshinsky, and once again we have gathered around the microphones with our four favorite
facts from the last seven days, and a particular order here we go. Starting
with fact number one, that is Anna. My fact this week is that your brain contains
a tender mother, a tough mother and a spider mother. Is that just Dan we're talking about here?
Yeah, and it explains everything. It does. Are these like multiple personality traits
of like, I have a tough mother that comes,
is that the idea of it?
Oh, I love that idea.
What would the spider mother be?
Well, I assume there's something that they do in the wild
where they make webs.
I hope they like eat their children.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The spider mother actually eats the tough mother
and the tender mother.
It's actually nice with these things.
They're just fun names for things in the brain.
So these are maninjas,
they're in your brain and spinal cord,
and they're basically a three layered envelope that protects your brain and spinal cord and there's a delicate
in a layer which is called the pier meter which means tender mother or soft mother or
pious mother. And so that wraps around the brain and spinal cord a bit like cling film.
And then there's a really tough outer layer which is just under the bone of your skull and
that's the durometer, the hard mother, tough mother. And then there's a really tough outer layer, which is just under the bone of your skull, and that's the durometer, the hard mother,
the tough mother, and then there's a middle layer,
the arachnoid meter, and that's like a network of tissues
and the tissue sort of spread out like a spider's web.
So really it should be called a spider web mother,
but it's not.
It's called a spider web.
The meninges is, you know, a baby at the top of their head,
they have like a gap where the skull hasn't covered them up.
Oh, yeah.
The men and G's is the kind of tough stuff
that covers their brain, which means that,
at least the brain isn't sticking out of their head.
That's interesting.
I don't know that.
And also that little hole there,
that is what the company Baby Gap is named after.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was just looking at sort of things that happen in the brain, unusual processes and things like that.
I really like this. Your brain is so fast that you can judge whether someone is trustworthy or not,
even if you haven't seen them consciously.
Okay. So they tried this thing where they showed people images for it like a fraction of it,
like a millisecond, a couple of milliseconds, right?
Too fast for people to consciously register they had seen a face.
Yeah. They were either faces that were, you know,
untrustworthy looking or trustworthy looking or what.
I don't know what the criteria were.
What is that?
Is it like one person they've got, you know,
and fact out the corner of their mouth
and a big overcome?
And a bag of swag.
No, I have no idea.
Maybe they had to assess from people
what they found trustworthy.
I trust very first.
For some people, my only trust people
who look like sort of comedy burglars
from the 1980s.
But when they showed them those images,
even for a fraction of a second,
they didn't consciously see them,
but the bit of their brain, the amygdala,
which processes strong emotions,
particularly in relation to whether you trust someone or not,
fire it up.
Wow.
It's not weird.
Wow.
Do you know what the amygdala means?
Ormond. Yeah. The brain is just the amygdala means? Almond.
Yeah.
The brain is just full of weirdly named stuff
because it's like a structure
and people could look at it hundreds of years ago
if they took out someone's brain after they died.
And like name the bits of the structure.
It's just got already old fashioned order names.
Like almond.
Seahorse.
Indeed.
Oh yeah, the seahorse.
Yeah.
It's because like if you are looking at someone's brain
and you're like, which bit do I need to take out?
And they say, well, it's the more blood fontanello or whatever.
You wouldn't know what it was.
But if you say the seahorse, you can look at it
and go, oh, that looks a bit like a seahorse.
I'll take that bit out, yeah.
And the matter, the piamata and other matters,
they're named after the fact that they kind of cover things.
Like a mother
might hold her baby. They come from the Arabic. Wow. I wonder with the speed that you were
talking about a second ago Andy, the like I was just thinking a quiz show, right? How
quickly does the answer come to you prior to your finger, the information getting to your
finger and you pressing a buzzer, right? If you were able to hook up your brain to the bit that lights up
that says you know the answer, how quick could it be?
Are you pitching a quiz where no one actually asks the questions
and people just buzz in and say,
no, you need the question.
Are you thinking that like, you're going to university challenge,
everyone else is using their fingers like absolute noobs.
Yeah, and you've got something attached to your actual
competitive advantage.
You've got your head on the button, exactly.
That's it. I'm like, I'm keeled over. and you've got something attached to your actual competitive advantage. You've got your head on the button. Exactly.
I look like I'm keeled over, but no.
Shriver, Australia.
The only flaw in your plan is that you actually wouldn't know any of the answers anyway.
It doesn't matter how you're pressing the button.
I've genuinely never got an answer on a university challenge.
No, I think that's good,
but they show you the question for a minute and a minute.
And the part of your brain associated with
Tocque Benastone fires,
then it's actually a team of neuroscientists
who answer the question for you.
But like several days later,
after we've seen ours.
But is the kind of thing your brain does?
And mostly I associate this sort of thing with,
that you know there's
that split brain operation that used to be done on epileptic people. It was
like it was a revolutionary operation and you basically cut the brain in
half down the corpus colosum which is a bit that splits the left side from the
right side of the brain and it was amazing because it stopped people having
epileptic fits when nothing else would work.
They did loads of experiments on these people whose two brains were working fine, but they
couldn't communicate with each other.
And so the reason I thought, for instance, of that university challenge thing was that
someone who'd had that operation, they would be shown a picture of a face to their right
eye, which goes into the left hemisphere, and they're asked what they've seen and they can say face.
But if it goes into the other eye and into the opposite hemisphere, because it's going to the wrong hemisphere
that doesn't process language, once they're asked what they've seen, they can't say face, but they can draw a face.
Oh wow, yeah. But they'll just say, I've got no idea what I've seen, but their hand will draw a face.
Here's my pitch. Yeah. Here's a cop drama, right?
And there's a witness to a crime,
but you only saw it with one eye,
the eye which doesn't know what,
but he can draw it.
And you've got a cop,
but he's only got the other eye.
Yes.
Yes.
And it's basically Picsderry, Picsderry Cop.
That's actually really good.
And that can be as equal to Dictionary Cop,
which is...
All right, I thought you were going to be like Bukaroo cop, right?
Mouse trap cop.
Jenga cop.
He's got two hours to stop this building falling over.
It's not got any mortar, it's just bricks.
But, you know, fine.
It's a dry stone building, and one of the bricks has got a bomb in it,
but he doesn't know which one.
So he has to keep removing the bricks to find the bomb
without the building falling down.
But it's in a very congested area,
so he can only put the bricks on top of the building at the top.
They've removed.
This is my good.
Dries to Walt is probably set of the Cotswolds.
So you have some lovely location filming before the...
Yeah, yeah.
This is bloody good, Jamie Cobb.
There is just sort of one other as possible spy film follow up.
Oh, yeah.
Where you can basically get people to say things
that they don't know they've said, I guess,
because there was another guy who had his brain cut in half.
And they asked him the question to one side of his brain.
They flashed the question, who's your favourite girlfriend?
He was a boy.
Oh, right. Yeah.
Who's your favourite girlfriend?
And then he was asked, do you know what question we've asked you?
And he was shrugged and was like, no, I haven't seen anything.
I didn't see anything.
But then he spelt out, he giggled,
and said, no, and then spelled out Liz in Scrabble Tiles.
Right.
With his other hand.
How awful is that? You're just giving scrabble tiles.
10 points as well for the Zed.
Yeah.
Yeah, he put on a triple-error score as well.
Well, and that's your follow-up.
So the, uh, Scrabble Tile. Scrabble-cut. That's good.
Have you guys heard of Heminglicklect,
which is kind of in the same sphere here?
Heminglicklect. Heminglicklect is when this is people
who have had a stroke.
There's a bit of brain damage that goes on whereby
they only experience basically one side of their visual field.
So if they've gone to shave, they'll shave off half their face,
but leave the other side because it's just not part of their field anymore, right? If
they're eating on a plate, they'll eat the right side or left side of the plate. They'll
eat just one side of the plate. So it's not just that you can't see
presumed that your brain refuses to acknowledge that. Your brain is refusing to acknowledge
that. It's there. Yeah. But this is what's amazing. They started looking into heming neglect
within memory as well. So they managed to find a group of people
where all of them had been to Milan.
So, they asked them the exact same thing.
You're standing in the major plaza in Milan.
Recall there's many in stores and streets around you
as possible in the square,
and they could only remember the stores and the streets
that were on the right side and not the left.
Probably good memories, though.
He asked me to name a shop on a square I'd lived on for about 20 years,
I probably couldn't do that.
I could name a shop in Milan in the central square bit.
Yeah, because they recently got their first Starbucks.
And it was some controversy,
because actually in Milan, the home of coffee,
good coffee, and there was a Starbucks there.
It was very nice Starbucks, too.
So that prompted a bit of local discussion.
Or according to these people, there was a Bucks. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha clear what caused it because we invented agriculture 10,000 years ago as a species. It's not that. It's like writing dates back to several thousand years and it might be something to do
with that. It might be that I keep part of my brain in all of your brains. I wonder what that is.
No, but like if you have lots of division of labor and you have a complicated system, you sort of
divide up the cognitive task and you need a bit less brain space. I think there is a theory that
domestication makes your brain smaller because it works with
animals for sure.
So I'm way domesticated.
Well, I think humans are domesticated, aren't we?
I would know with the domesticated.
Well, you domesticated us, aside from cat, according to some interpretation.
You domesticated us.
The man.
The man.
Society has domesticated us.
To be fair, I don't think I would thrive in the wild.
I don't think you would either.
I can curve down anything to you.
I contradict that statement.
I think, well, I've got some berries
and Anna's going off killing a wildcat.
And you are trying to think of some cop dramas.
I don't know which of us is going to be the most useful
in the group in the future.
We will need cop dramas to survive.
We'll need that hope that comes from, like, will you find the bomb?
Yeah.
Okay, brain fart.
Yeah.
Like, when you have a moment, you can't remember something, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, this podcast has been a 10 year long one, for instance.
Sure.
Yeah.
What about a brain squirt?
What is that?
Brain squirt.
Quiz time.
It's where you try and think of one thing
and it just shoves out tons of different things.
It's like someone says, what's the capital of Malawi?
And all you can think of is every other capital in Africa.
Oh, we good.
Yes, no, I would think, yeah, that's probably closer
than to mine, which you would be saying things
that sounded right as a ramble.
So like a quiz question like that,
but you genuinely went, it's Michael, no, Sarah,
Joey, Chandler, what does...
Right, mums do when they're trying to remember your name.
Yeah.
They always run through, don't they?
John, Katie, Claire, Hannah, James, James, come over here.
It's just a feeble or a board of attempt at reasoning,
but it dates back to the 1650s.
That's cool.
I was having a brain squirt.
It was also, in this dates back to Old English,
your brainlocker.
What is that?
Say it again, brainlocker.
Brainlocker.
It's someone who looks at a brain in South Africa.
It's my brainlocker.
It's just your head.
I was going to say it's your skull.
Okay, brainlocker. My brainlocker. Crazy, that your head. It's just your skull. My brainlocker. My brainlocker. Crazy.
That we had a while for that. It's one little hack. I was reading a lot of
neurosciences saying how you can hack your brain to make sure that so if you're someone who forgets
things a lot or you have something important that you need to remember and you just don't,
you can't find it right it down or anything, take something, take an object and just place it
somewhere it shouldn't be.
So if you're leaving the house for example and you're like, oh, why is this, you know, flute?
Flute here, yeah.
You'll make you go, ah, yes, I've been meaning to do that thing.
It's a way of associating with a physical object.
So that's just a great hack.
I feel like you know, I do that with my hair bands.
I put one hair band on the other wrist if I need to remember something.
I put the second one on the other wrist if I need to remember a second thing. And then I put one back on the first wrist if I need to remember something. I put the second one on the other wrist if I need to remember a second thing.
And then I put one back on the first wrist if I need to remember a third thing.
Oh shit!
Stop the podcast!
Stop the podcast!
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MUSIC
OK, it is time for fact number two.
And that is my fact.
My fact this week is that at the 1984 US Grand Prix,
it was thought that Ertsin Senna crashed into a wall
on the 47th lap, but it turns
out it was actually the wall that crashed into him.
This is another case for Jenga Cop, I feel.
This is an amazing story.
So, Senna is one of the greatest Formula One drivers ever.
His career was cut short, because sadly 10 years later he did have a crash in a Grand
Prix, which he died. So it basically he was he was in this Grand Prix and
he's heading on cutting a corner very tight to the wall as he had done on
previous laps. He nicks it. So afterwards they're talking about it and he says
there's no way I hit that wall. I'm a precision driver and he was very cocky Center
Yeah, I'm a precision driver that wall came into me
So they went out just because I guess you know they thought well, maybe he's right
Let's check it out and they noticed that the wall had moved and the reason was is because a car is a human dressed
From the jacket cup, but it was also saying anti-caflic propaganda at the time, wasn't it?
Cool back to last episode, everyone.
So basically, these walls were giant concrete blocks,
and on a previous lap, a car had also hit this wall.
And what they'd noticed was that it hit it with such force
that it had knocked the back of it and so the front bit
Jotted out a tiny bit, but only by 10 millimeters
Is
He was so precise that that was enough. He knew exactly where he need to take it
And so he nick the wall and this is how he is sort of known. He's known as this guy
Yeah, he was the best. I believe so.
Right. I mean, there's countless arguments in Formula One fans,
but for me, he was the best.
There you go. You heard it ever.
So tragically, because he was caught off in his prime,
we don't know where he would have taken it to.
He won three world championships.
He's been surpassed by Schumacher and others,
but that's because of the longevity of a career.
So, yeah, hard to know where he would have gone.
I didn't know why it's got Formula One.
And it's just...
The whole point of Formula One is that there is a Formula,
and it's the set of rules that you have to adhere to.
And they change the rules every...
I don't know, every year or every couple of years.
And, you know, then everyone has to build entirely new cars
and it's a nightmare.
That is the Formula that everyone's complying entirely new cars and it's a nightmare.
That is the formula that everyone's complying with.
What is it about the weight of the aerodynamics
and the blah, blah, blah.
And I used to know, what I do know someone,
a friend of mine, used to work on Formula One
doing the kind of modeling, the computer modeling,
oh wow, of the aerodynamics of the cars.
Right.
Basically you just do that hundreds of thousands of times
and modeling the airflow over a car
to work out what's gonna be best.
And then they change the rules
and then you have to adjust everything
in a fraction of a millimeter and all of this.
It's amazing.
And try something slightly further
than everyone else is pushing it.
Yeah, because there must be one perfect car, theoretically.
Oh, right.
That would be the, have the perfect
very effective for these rules.
I don't know.
And they've all crossed the line at the same time.
That's right.
That's when you have to bring in some variables like Mario Kart.
The red shells.
The red shells.
A bubble that you drive into.
Oh, yeah.
It's really slow to down.
I mean, it would all over that.
But sometimes quite a dry sport to watch.
It is very, this is, I think, true of quite a lot of spots,
which is if you're not really into them
and you watch them, they seem quite boring on the outside.
And then as soon as you start reading about them,
it's like, oh my god, this is incredible.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's definitely sure if everyone isn't it.
Otherwise, it is just people going round and round a thing.
But yeah, you can't make the cars too good,
and obviously there are rules to stop you doing that.
Partly for safety, because if you go too fast,
it's very bad and safety is massively cracked down
the last sort of 30 years.
But there have been great cars made in the past
that they've had to change the rules to stop happening again,
like the 6th wheeled car.
Do we have the 6th wheeled?
Yeah, it's so cool.
It's amazing.
That was it designed by Homer Simpson.
It's such a... Yes, it was. No, It's amazing. That was it designed by Homer Simpson. That's right.
Yes, it was.
No, this was in the 1970s.
And it was Tyra, one of the teams,
raced a six-wheeled car.
Realized that there would be an advantage to it,
because if you have four smaller wheels at the front,
rather than two big wheels,
then I think you increase the amount of contact with the ground,
so you've got more grip on the road.
That is to get more traction on the corners.
Obviously, that is, like, they've got someone in from the outside
who's never worked in farming along before and said,
look at this, how can we improve this car?
And they've gone more wheels on it.
I imagine being in that meeting room.
We're like, they were looking through it,
like, we've looked through the manual 30 times now.
There's nothing which says the maximum number of wheels
is good, we can do it. That must be something to the rules, something that must there's nothing which says the maximum number of wheels is for you. You can do it.
That must be something to the rules.
That must be.
Every other car ever.
No, it's not.
They didn't think of putting it in the rules.
Like, say, you can't have a crocodile driving.
They didn't think of that.
There is no rule about the number of wheels.
Largely because they did this.
And at the time, there were various slight problems with it
because they hadn't perfected the technology X.
They'd only just invented the six wheel car. They did get a few podium finishes, I think, for that
car. But the FIA banned it in the end, because they worried that we'd just get to a place
where people were putting more and more wheels on cars. You just have a hundred wheels on
a car. I think they did win. They won one Grand Prix with their Swedish Grand Prix.
Wow. What a vindication that must have been. What a moment. All right.
Are the cars longer?
Because that's an advantage as well, right?
For tight finishes.
If your car is suddenly 10 meters long.
I think of one problem is, like, when you go into the pit stop
to change your tires, if you have to change two hundred tires,
you're going to take a two hundred.
Yeah.
Oh, those are, I love the pit stops.
Yeah.
I do, those are the, because that's one of the variation in race, isn't it? And they used to have a lollipop, man. Yeah. love the pit stops. Yeah. Those are the, that's one of the very ancient races, isn't it?
And they used to have a lollipop man.
Yeah.
It's so sweet.
It's really sad that they don't anymore.
It's probably because they always build the tracks
next to primary school.
Right.
But I do wonder, like, you just got a little lady in a spot.
He's chatting to some of the mums and all the time
and saying, I'm just gonna cross the pit stop
as down last in 18 minutes.
So their job basically was to know
when everyone had finished their jobs
and then they left at the lollipop
and they could drive off,
but now everyone just has a button
when you've done your job,
you finish your things and the lights change.
Just rubbish.
And that must be stressful as well
because I can readily imagine fitting the wheel
in not point four seconds.
I'm never forgetting to press my button.
Yeah.
Well, if you had your hair button on your left wrist,
you'd be like, I know that.
Here's a crazy pit stop thing that you're not
allowed to do anymore, which is,
and do you guys remember, ages ago, Lewis Hamilton,
there was a bit of controversy about one of the races
where you have your teams.
So he's, what's his team again?
He's with Mercedes.
Mercedes.
So he'd be on the track with another Mercedes rider, a part of the same team.
It made more sense for Lewis to win.
So there was this big controversy that the guy in the lead slowed down and let Lewis take
the win for the points for the team, basically.
It is fine, but it's seen as it's not sport, basically.
It's they should be trying.
Yeah. But they do the same in cycling, don't they? I thought they had a little time. In cycling, it's not sport, basically. It's they should be trying. Yeah.
But they do the same in cycling, don't they?
I thought they were having a little time.
In cycling, it's basically the whole spot.
Yeah.
I think if Formula One, it's obviously to boo,
because it was a big controversy at the time
when they were instead it.
Yeah.
But so what you used to be able to do in a pit stop is,
let's say you have damaged your car, you could come in,
and they've called over the number two,
because you're the lead driver, and they would just give you his car you his car. So he would be out of the race. So your number
two driver, you would want them to be pretty much exactly the same as you, right? If you're
six foot three with a very spindly arm, you'd need another six foot three with spindly
arm. So you don't have to factor on it with adjusting the seat.
You're changing the aircon. Already on one.
No.
But that is the thing, isn't it?
Because they will get weighed after the race.
The driver and the car are weighed because,
if you're too light, it might be dangerous.
And drivers lose about three kilos during a race
of hydration, of water weight.
Is that so sweaty, right?
Yeah.
Apparently it gets so hot in there as well.
That's what's, you know, it's sweaty, it's hot,
it's boiling, and Damon Hill, there's a story.
I couldn't find a good source for it,
but it's claimed in a bunch of places that he brings in,
for some reason, a thermos of cold black tea,
and the heat of the car makes it a nice piping hot tea
for him to drink.
I heard that, I did it.
That's very funny.
The safety stuff is just nuts.
In the cars these days.
It's so impressive.
So these days, every single driver has a monococ.
Which is, it was when they used to have two cars.
There was so many deaths.
They were tripping over a lot.
It's getting in the way of the levers.
No, it's a cocoon, basically.
It surrounds the driver and it's sort of the core of the car.
Oh.
And it's like the, I want to say a very hard bag. Like it surrounds the driver and it's sort of the core of the car and it's like the, I want to say a very hard bag, like it surrounds the driver and it keeps
them safe even if they crash. So they get into a bag. I missed all the
dramatic rides, just like the sort of central command pod of the car which
actually encases the driver. If you can imagine the Mininges of the
Brains, it's almost like the Mininges of the tribe. Exactly, it's like the very toughest mother.
And they call it that, I would have been there in Australia.
Yeah, and the helmets are amazing.
The helmets have to be subjected to 800 degree heat
for 45 seconds in case there's a fire.
Well, they have to be on a stand-up.
What?
What?
The thermos is really taking a battery.
Every time you blink, you lose 20 meters of road.
If you're going with a fast formula one car.
So you have to be careful when you blink.
They've measured it and drivers always blink
at the same part of the car.
It's really interesting.
Really?
I read that one thing that if you play the sounds
of the cars on a Formula One track to a Formula One driver,
they'll be able to tell which track it is
just from the sounds that the car's mic.
Wow, that's incredible.
You need a special driver's license?
Oh, really?
Perhaps unsurprisingly.
You need a super license.
That's what it's called.
Really?
Yeah, really?
Is that right?
So does that mean if I took part in the Las Vegas Grand Prix
starts this weekend?
If I flew over to Las Vegas and took part in it,
I'd get points. But not having the right license.
I think you probably will get points.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow, do it anyway.
I'll try it.
Shall I try it?
In your lecture car as well.
Yeah.
Very accelerate, like that.
They do accelerate well,
but I'm not sure I could get around
with all the laps without retouching.
He's now had a lovely coffee at the Supercharger.
I wonder if a psychopath is that idea that they don't blink. I wonder if that would make
you a better. There's one way apparently of spotting a psychopath according to people who
look into it, is they blink much less than a regular person. That's why they're forced
to kill and kill again because they're so annoyed about their dry eyes.
So I wonder if you blink less, are you a better driver?
Oh, they all psychopaths.
Yeah.
You're saying all these F on drivers?
Well, Senna, Senna just backed him very quickly, sounded a bit sort of like he was in
odd mental place a little bit time.
Well, as in like, he never, whenever he arrived, his friend said, he never said hi.
Like, if he was coming to a race, he was just in a zone.
He was just always kind of like, and I just, that's like rude.
Sorry, I'm so, my God, I said hi to you this morning and was an effort frankly,
but I didn't.
I think that's really normal. Like I would say if you're racing, I can imagine not
saying hello to anyone. Like you've got to be so in the zone.
Yeah, well so many people that you have to say hi to, because if it's just one or two people
who are welcoming you, you're like, oh yeah great, you have a nice chat. But if it's like
all the 50 members of the team are saying, hello, I'm like a big mascot in the silly suit.
Oh, I'm happy this year.
This is called to someone who works
for the catering operation, Lindy Redding, she said.
She said he would never say hi if he was at the zone.
But when he did say hello, he was very genuine.
He used to kiss us and hold our faces, which was hugely intense.
But absolutely lovely.
You know what?
Let's do the not hello next time.
There's a great.
That's the greeting of the couple that are doing the washing up so badly that they never
are.
That's high.
That's high.
That's high.
Speaking of motor racing drivers, have you guys heard of Hella Nice? Hella Nice. Hella Nice. Hella Nice. That's a, that's high. Speaking of motor racing drivers, have you guys heard of Helenice?
Helenice.
Helenice.
It's a great name.
Helenice.
Helenice.
Helenice, yeah.
It was a person from the 1920s.
Real name Marieette Ellen Delong.
She was an exotic dancer who danced at the Ritz in Paris and then she had a ski accident
and couldn't dance anymore and so
it became a racing driver and she raced in five major Grand Prix in France and she was
in an accident this while I was reading about her because we were talking about safety.
She was in an accident where she was in an Alpha Romeo and she summissated through the
air and she wasn't wearing a seatbelt because she didn't have to in those days. Her car went into the crowd, killed four people.
But she survived because she landed on a soldier who absorbed the full impact of her body
saving her.
Oh God, did he die?
No, he didn't die.
What?
Good grief.
So did she fly through the old, did her car, did she?
Her car went in one direction, killed some people.
She went in the other direction and luckily landed on his very play in soldier. Wow. I can't do it. I can't do it at one time. I can't do it at one time. I can't do it at one time. I can't do it at one time. I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time.
I can't do it at one time. I can't do it at one time. I can't do it at one time. I can't do it at one time. I can in 1993 have you seen the quite famous crash? Two teammates actually
who were called Fitter Paldy and Martini, they were quite near the back. But one of their cars
was like just behind the other and I think the left wheel, front wheel of one car, Nick the
back wheel of another car and it sent the front one into a full in the back wheel. Oh yes, yeah.
Just does the back flip. Happily lands happily lands skate over the finish line
Wow, yeah, it really is yeah, the headline martini shaken not stirred
Here's a little quiz moment for you all okay, who is the guy who I think has done more formula one races than anyone else I'm 90% sure he's a more formula one races than anyone else. I'm 90% sure. He's done more formula one races than anyone else
on the planet, more Grand Prix's,
Grand's Prix.
Okay, so someone we must know of.
No, no.
Is it the Michelin man?
It's not the Michelin man.
Anna, I feel like you might have the answer.
I've just, I've got my hand.
I'm bursting.
Are you talking about the safety guy?
The guy who drives the safety car.
He's been doing it for nearly 25 years.
He's done more than 450 Grand Prix. I believe it's the safety car. He's been doing it for nearly 25 years. He's done more than 450, Gronprey.
Oh, but it was the same guy.
I was going to believe it was just one of those not weird.
Every single Gronprey.
So what does he do, sorry?
When there's an incident on the track.
Yeah.
There's an accident or like there's a horse ride out on the track.
What happened?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Like, what happened?
The school day finishing.
Yeah.
Receptions run out.
Lady Cod, ladies are ready.
Yeah. The safety car drives that onto the track and finishing. Yeah, the reception's run out, Lady Cople, ladies are ready.
Yeah.
The safety card drives that onto the track
and kind of regulates the service.
Everyone has to drive.
Yeah, he drives around with 20 miles an hour
and everyone has to just slowly go behind him.
You're not that tall for the day, of course.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know that feeling when you're driving
and someone's kind of coming up your ass,
imagine that, like, times a million.
Right.
This is what that guy's going through every single day. He's the soul coming up his ass times a million. This is what that guy's going through every single
day. He's a sword coming up his ass times a million. That is a tough job. That was work
today, darling. Wow. I had 20 men coming up my ass. I'm to 25 years though, you're hard into it.
Okay, Zack County is a professional racing driver, he's called Madeleine Duh and he's
a...
But Madeleine Duh.
That's great though, that's really cool.
I mean, I guess he's not had any accidents
himself over all that time, so...
I don't say it's quite stressful. And he says, can you guess the most stressful person
to have behind you?
What is in which racing driver is the most...
Yeah, it's the most time.
Because he said they're quite aggressive sometimes.
It must be Schumacher.
It's actually Louis Hamilton.
Yeah, that's right.
Louis Hamilton's really up in your face,
or I'm like zigzagging everywhere,
like really pushing, going up towards you.
Well, I think it's...
What, you have to stay behind him.
No, you keep your tyres while I zigzagging.
Yeah.
Just get out of there.
I think it's the most precise sport in the world.
You guys have just written a book about sports.
Oh, I've forgotten.
Yeah, it's sports, the big book of sports.
It's played by the team. Everything's played by the team. Yeah, it's full time. The big book of sports, isn't it? Everything's play-farting, play-farting, yeah.
Yeah, but surely this is the most,
this is where the most thought has gone
into the most tiny differences of like,
yeah, it is amazing.
Must be technologically for sure.
Right, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Like even, in the formula, there are even limits
on the amount of data you're allowed to use
to simulate the car aerodynamics.
You're limited to 25 terraeraflops of computing power when you're running the computer simulations
of air flowing over a car you haven't even built yet.
And then after all that stuff, like literally last night in the warm up for the Las Vegas
Grand Prix, someone hadn't nailed down one of the manhole covers properly, just smashed
into the car. Oh my god, they heard about that.
They get sucked up, yeah.
Why do they keep building manhole covers on the F1 track?
Well, it's in the actual streets of Las Vegas.
Right, it's right.
And they have to nail down every single manhole cover.
I think they might not even use nails.
They might use concrete or something.
God, you don't want to be a sewerage worker
who pops up at the wrong line. Oh, fuck!
I'm escaped, I'm convinced.
Yeah, yeah.
That's it, isn't it?
That's it.
OK, it is time for fact number three, and that is Andy.
My effect is, there is such a thing as a ghost pond.
Splash.
Yeah.
This is a...
So, we're all familiar with ponds.
Maybe just give us a...
Just for the people in the UK.
Why?
Well, no, actually, Dan, because, you know,
what is a pond and what is a lake?
So, it's a very large hill with just matter on it.
Oh, no, it's the opposite of that.
It's a small indentation with water on it.
Sorry, I always get those mixed up.
Oh, you can't be there.
You have me going.
But basically, there are these things all over, particularly the UK, but I'm sure in other countries too.
In fact, all over Europe, they do know that.
And they, like all the farms in England used to have ponds,
like fields would have a pond here or there in them,
and they would either provide water for cattle
or they would, you know, they're just useful things to have.
But then over the years, they got abandoned
and lots of them dried up.
Oh, maybe they got choked by fallen leaves,
you know, and all these ponds are now missing from the UK. There used to be twice as many ponds as there are today
in the 1970s. We're double the ponds. I know.
Like, yes, no one marching. Why is no one supergliding themselves to he throw airponds
to bring the ponds back? Well, I think it's important that...
Like ponds are great, because so many animals and plants just they make that big of it so you think the full one that was to buy
yeah I've got a pond you got a pond I want to it's on my list of things I'd
like to do is to dig a pond very easy just dig a pond pucks some in it. Sorry. Can you just tell us what these ghost ponds are there?
Okay. So ghost ponds. I must say about my pond.
Just tell us anything.
But no, basically they're huge biodiversity hot spots. You know, you get plants and species and
dragonflies and beetles and all sorts of stuff. Where before you just have a field. And you know,
they're really important for that. And basically, the mud remembers, it's really weird.
So, all of these ancient seeds might be left in the indentation that used to be
apond, and they can survive for over a century.
And all you have to do, if you have that little dip in the ground, you refill it, expose
it to sunlight, and these old species just spring up and they come back with evensions.
And it's kind of staggering. So there's a team at UCL, the pond restoration research group, led by Carl Sayer up and they come back with evensions. And it's kind of staggering.
So there's a team at UCL, the pond restoration research group
led by Carl Sayer, and they've been going around Norfolk
restoring these ghost ponds.
And suddenly, bang, life, biodiversity, really important stuff,
which is really under threat at the moment.
They reckon there's 600,000 that are hidden still
waiting to be restored in the UK alone.
It's amazing.
And it's a lot longer than that, isn't it, for seeds?
I'm sure we've mentioned, and I can't remember the exact number,
but like the oldest seed ever found that can still be, you know,
watered and sunlit and grow is many thousands of years old.
And so, yeah, these can be many hundreds.
And what I really like is that you can sort of see a ghostly evidence of them,
can't you? Like from above, you can sort of see a ghostly evidence of them, can't you?
Like from above, you can see it as like a slightly damp
depression or a bit where crops don't grow as well
because it's always been a bit too wet.
The soils never dry down.
And I think often farmers when they're expanding their land
rather than drain them,
because that's a hassle draining a pond.
They just dump a load of earth in them,
wouldn't they, all out of plant matter,
which doesn't stop them being wet. So they have left their little pond
prints. That's cool. But also I think ponds they kind of have like a life
duration, don't they? Okay. So like if you have a pond, like a pond farm, if you
dig out a pond, right? Because you're a farmer. If you just leave it, after about
100 years, it'll just cease to be. Oh really? Yeah, they just kind of, they,
they slowly silt up
and silt up and silt up and then they die.
And it could be just like one really heavy rain storm.
Load of silt comes down, they're not upon them anymore.
They're just like these ephemeral things
that kind of come and go.
They have to be kind of maintained, don't they?
A little bit.
They do.
When you clear out the leaves, and you know,
if they've got trees over, then that's a nightmare
for a pond apparently.
Sure is.
Can I tell you about the leaves that are fallen
into my pond?
Yes. How many of you pond? Like the table that we're Can I tell you about the leaves that are fallen into my pond? Yes.
How big is your pond?
Like the table that we're recording.
Okay, the one that no one can see.
Yeah, it's about half the size of that.
Oh.
Okay, James are describing the size of a basin.
It's small.
It's a small pond, but you know, it's just a pond.
That's brilliant.
It's just for animals to come and drink stuff.
Okay.
You're not going to get a deer, are you?
You're not a lion kneeling down.
I don't think, I don't think there will be will to beast of lion sipping my pond in North London.
You're not that far from the zoo.
That's true.
A catastrophic breakout.
A tunnel.
A jungle looks out.
A whole group of holes.
Humans make ponds.
What else makes ponds?
Aliens.
Yes. The equivalent of crop circles,
pond circles. No, not human animals.
Nonhuman animals. Yes. I reckon if you're a hippo and you sit down
in some mud, you never know, create a pond. Good point, whether or not that would be intentional,
I guess, would be debated. I'm saying deliberate pond makers.
Oh, beavers, maybe.
I guess they're damning things up.
It's not really a pond.
It's not quite.
No.
So Andy, if you want to get a pond in your backyard,
but you can't be bothered digging, by yourself, a Goliath frog.
Oh, great.
Yes.
So Goliath frogs do this.
It's a really interesting thing where they move rocks, giant rocks, basically their own weight and they get it so that they cut off water and they build their own pond so that
the eggs are more safe in there.
They can keep attention to their make sure the tadpoles and so on are all in place.
They're the biggest shrugs, aren't they?
They are.
They are.
They are.
For the people at home who can't see it, there's a glass of water in front of them.
They're probably about two or three times bigger than that.
They're absolutely big. They're probably about two or three times bigger than that. Wow, they're absolutely big. And they think one of the, you know,
there's always theories, but one of the theories
is that their size is to do with mating,
to do with the best rock movers,
and you know, that's partially why they may be that big,
specifically, because they build ponds.
Do you know what else makes ponds?
So this is a subset of humans.
Oh, okay, I was about to say elephant.
So, school girls.
A lot of sub-set of humans. That wasn't why I was thinking of.
It's a, that can as a subset though. That's a subset of humans. Yeah, why? Did you make a
question? Are you questioning whether they're humans? I wasn't sure what subset meant. I thought
it meant it had to be like people from, you know, the southern hemisphere or like I thought it was
bigger than just saying, you know, select not fans, you know, just a group of humans.
A group of humans, we make fun of.
Why do you say so cool?
You used to be a schoolgirl.
I was trying to think of what a set
was for humans would be.
Okay, I just wanted to give when you were a schoolgirl,
you dug ponds and that, you had inside knowledge.
And then we got taken to ponds
and we got told about you to say not to go back.
So, I'm not going to go back.
So, set the humans who make ponds in profession.
No, it's more of a ideology.
Zen gardeners.
Oh, okay, that is true.
Undoubtedly, if you're not who I was thinking of.
Communists.
Oh, the opposite.
Oh, fascists.
Nazis, yes you got it.
Nazis.
So, there's quite a lot of bomb craters around Europe.
And if you drop a bomb, it makes a big indentation and that indentation can then collect water and become a pond.
Wow, that feels like a silver lining.
It is really, to possibly a reason to start more wars.
No, I mean, just an answer to a pond making, right? The Allies were pond making
is what we were all pond making. A lot of ponds in Dresden probably.
Right, right, right. But yeah, a lot of ponds made by both sides.
And the thing is that they've done some studies on it and they did this in Hungary in particular.
And they found that they found 274 species in ponds made by bombs.
And they included, like for instance, an algae, which has previously
only been found in Chilean salt lakes, and a furry shrimp that had only been recorded
twice in the last 25 years in Hungary, and they were in these ponds made by bombs.
I mean, this is what they find with these ghost ponds when they rejuvenate them.
You get species that you haven't seen for many, many years, and it's such a mystery, and I think, how stuff turns up how nature knows, and particularly,
I think, in slightly bigger ponds than maybe James's garden pond, but you'll find, no
offense.
I can't even imagine a pond bigger than James's garden pond.
Please don't write in for me taking the piss up, James, having a small pond, okay?
You get...
Okay, here we are. You know what this podcast does.
Don't ride in.
LAUGHTER
I was thinking Eel's.
James Harkens podcast.
Yeah.
What's, come on, give us, you need a bit more detail, but I'm interested.
Okay, first episode.
Guess what leaves a pond in my pond.
Are you having a guest to your pond each week?
Yeah, but they'll be allowed in also. They can't talk. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, It's never the world to be this guy. So I always love eels and puns, because how did they get there?
Oh yeah.
And what we know is that eels can move across
sort of not dry land, but across land, that's moist,
because they can breathe through their skin,
not just gills, so gills require some pressure
for the water to be forced in,
but they can actually breathe through their skin.
So they must just flop out of a river,
but then how do they find the way to someone's garden?
I'm just looking at me just to say no eels in my pond.
Oh, that'll be a big episode.
All in my hovercraft.
Yeah.
I think it's the not an idea that sometimes things
get impunz because they're dropped by birds.
There's an idea, yeah.
Yeah, look at me that.
Can I tell you about one of the most interesting ponds
in the world?
Please.
This is called Don Juan Pond in Antarctica, and it's really weird.
It's quite, it's very big.
That's not the way I think.
It's full of water, that's not the way I think either.
Well, it's in Antarctica, so being full of water is unusual.
Exactly.
That is the way I think, and it's because of what this water is like.
It's really dense and really syrupy,
and it's full of calcium chloride.
It's kind of salt, right?
And the water remains liquid, even 50 degrees below freezing.
Wow.
50 Celsius below zero.
What's that all about?
Well, it's because it's a most salty body of water in the world, isn't it?
Exactly.
And they don't know where the water comes from.
I've written into you with a scientist who said, we've been studying it for 60 years.
Wow.
We're pretty sure it's fed from me.
But we're not totally certain.
And what does amazing...
What does the cold feel like if it's gone beyond the point of where it freezes into a block?
Oh, I'm at a very cold.
I bet.
Yeah.
You need a wet seat.
Well, let's say you're swimming in regular water.
It freezes, right?
So you can't dive into it. It's a nice block.
You can't get in there, right?
I know you mean, but you will have been outside in the air temperatures lower than zero. Yeah, but
No, I'm just curious what like water just the feeling the sensation
I'm really really cold. I think it's just the only way anyone can
I don't think anyone but no one must have ever jumped into this pond because they would have died. There we go
Here's what's interesting about that thing is
You would be able to lie down in there and read a newspaper like in the Dead Sea
because it's so salty, I guess.
Oh, because you float right on top of it.
Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't sink.
Could you concentrate on what you were reading
for how fucking cold it is? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, would have been doing. That's some quick bites in the sun, it probably would be fine.
You know, Vespasian, the Roman Emperor, he heard about the Dead Sea and he heard that people
just floating it, but he didn't believe it, and he didn't want to try it himself, so he
just got prisoners thrown into it to see what would happen.
Oh, wow.
And they floated, yeah.
Wow.
I will say, in case you're just gonna book a trip
that probably don't A right now,
but B, in case you're gonna book a trip
to the Dead Sea to float,
dispointing, add a sack.
I was quite signature.
I was quite start sank.
You had a big lunch.
Yeah.
Good.
Good. Stop the podcast!
Stop the podcast!
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On with the podcast. On with the show. Okay, it is time for our final fact of the show, and that is James.
Okay, my fact this week is that in 1912, the woman with the most perfect feet in America
was divorced because her husband was jealous of all the attention she was getting.
It's relatable.
I'm trying to say.
Is that because you got such amazing feet?
Or because you want to divorce your wife?
I can't just say, Dave, this was an impossible fact to research.
Yeah.
When you Google nice feet or perfect feet in America, oh my goodness.
There's a lot of stuff to get through first.
Before you find out about...
Yeah, you have...
Tell us about this woman.
Well, she just had really nice feet.
It was a stunts by the Caropodists of the USA
to find the perfect foot.
And they eventually managed to find it
on the end of a lap.
A woman called Miss Clara Smith Houston
who coincidentally was also a caropidist.
Yeah.
Anyway, so...
Suspects, feels a bit rigged to me, didn't they?
It does feel a bit rigged.
I don't know, you might get into an industry because you'll feel so nice.
People have complimented you, your whole life, you thought.
Well, anyway, this story made it into some newspapers, just as the caropidists had hoped.
But the husband of Miss Smith Houston was not impressed and
he sent her a telegram, like really divorced by text saying,
friend, wife, not a great start. Congratulations on putting your best foot forward.
Nice pun. Nothing like notoriety no matter how cheap.
Oh, send your picture to the pink journals and call on me for cash
with which to advertise yourself further, full stop, your husband full stop.
And then Clara was later quoted in another newspaper saying that she decided if a man was so jealous,
he would not even allow me to boast of a perfect foot, then I best give him up
and all the luxuries with which he provided me.
Except the one thing, happiness.
Yeah, here.
Here, here, here.
Glad to have you, Justin.
I agree.
Can I just, so his, his message,
when he's saying, um, advertise yourself in a newspaper,
is he saying, because you're single now?
What's that second with that lot of losing?
I think it's, I think it's because it's, oh, you know, a foot person, are you?
You know, you know, just sort of like trading on your feet.
I think he was also implying that she was living off his money.
And he was like, well, if you want more money, just to advertise yourself to the world for
your awesome feet, then fine.
Full stop.
Your husband full stop.
That's a very full stop.
So the question here is, what is the perfect foot?
What did Clara have?
And she had seven toes.
Seven toes.
Seven toes.
Seven toes. Seven toes. Yeah, no rules.
You're having seven toes.
So she had nine inches, they were nine inches long.
Do you know what size that is though?
I just know, I've just read it from this.
So you've just written down nine inches,
but you don't know how big or small that is.
Because you need four of women's foot.
Because actually, when he's down goes into the shoe shop
and he says, I reject your size, except for him.
I'm going to get you an inches.
You've worked it out.
256 barley cups, my good guy.
I'd like a shoe that's about the size of a glass,
which I drank from the other day.
I want a shoe that doesn't fit in James's song. Well for the listener it's
size 3.5 which is very small. And what is the why's it say in ten inches around the
in step? Yeah, circumference I suppose. Yes, okay, nice. So very very small feet, 3.5.
I mean not three kissy-smole, but it's exactly one-seventh her height
in accordance with the Greek rule of sculpture. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. Okay.
This is from the day book where this was all published, and it's amazing blog, by the way,
that you found James. Yes. Second Glad's history, yeah, it's absolutely brilliant. And it
was really nice, because they have the cuts of all the newspapers and stuff. Yeah, really cool. So I didn't have to go digging for the myself.
And then they found that there was a new perfect foot found in 1916, which belonged to a
nine-year-old girl called Mary Boca. This was found in Chicago and Mary's mum said, Mary had
very pretty feet when she was a baby. I felt nature's gift must not be mad. I began massaging her feet with cold cream to make them strong and smooth
and rub them carefully to preserve the natural outline. And so her mum realised
when she was really young that she had really nice feet and then put special
stockings on her so that she didn't damage the feet and all that kind of stuff.
It's like the Williams sister's down, isn't it? My brother made a Hollywood film about her in the 30s.
I just don't get the whole feet thing.
I know lots of people really like feet.
20% of men I believe, only 30% of straight men.
I think it was that.
What do you mean?
I feel like I...
Fetishized.
Right, okay.
Because there's a website called WikiFeed.
Oh yeah.
It features a great number of feet.
Features greatly in your search history after this week.
What does that now? Are there any three rules on Wiki Feet?
Only five toes.
That's right. The rules changed constantly.
They're not daily. They're dating their feet.
No, so you have to be, it's normally people posting pictures of women's feet.
I don't think the men's section on wiki feet is enormous.
It's sort of women over 17 who are listed on IMDB.
So you have to be in the public eye somehow.
No copyright breaches and no adult content.
But there are people who complain a lot.
They get in rouse with each other on wiki feet.
They'll post on a photo NFS which means no feet showing
It's weird, but I think if it's if someone's where it like maybe if you've got a welley on
I
Think if you've got a welley on you're on the right side
My friend has a page. It's a mutual friend
I won't say a name though because it is a bit of a weird site
But um she has a page on there and it has ratings, so she has three out of five.
Three!
Yeah, which is, okay, you won't get in the Uber, would you?
I think it's a bit, I mean, obviously it's pretty odd stuff.
And I think you can, if you say, take my pictures off this website, they do.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, they seem quite nice.
There was a journalist you write for the, well, I read an article in the cut anyway,
so she writes for the cut and all the things
and she was going out with someone who said,
hey, do you know you're on wiki feet?
And she said, no, I don't.
And so saw that she had indeed been uploaded,
her feet had been uploaded
because they get it off like public Instagram pages,
for instance, so there were pictures of her
on the beach on Instagram and someone's taken her feet.
And she, I mean, she said, okay, I'll get in touch.
So she got in touch with the person.
And so she interviewed this guy who posted her feet.
And she was very fair.
I have to say, and I thought he did seem a bit odd.
And she did say at one point,
I've noticed that sometimes within 10 minutes
of me posting an Instagram story that shows my feet,
the screen shot is up on Wookiee feet. How does that happen? And he said, look,
I don't just sit there looking for it. If I happen to see it and I like, I'll put it
on there, but I'm not sitting there all day in staring. It's like it sort of started
off quite nice. And then he obviously, you know, he kept on saying, what beautiful
feet she had. I read an article that said that the incidence of fetishism increases as a response to epidemics
of sexually transmitted diseases in history.
Interesting.
This was a guy called Dr. James Giannini and his colleagues who did the study.
And they look back as far back as a 12th century and they found that when there was a spike
in STIs, people preferred feats, and it might have been
that they were just less interested in penetrative sex
because they might get,
oh, so your feet are a bit safer to fancy.
I guess so.
Yeah.
Because, yes, it was a worse, you can get athletes
from all over the country.
Yeah.
Athletes can't.
Yeah.
I think they went all the way up to the 80s,
and they found, even in the AIDS epidemic,
that when that happened, then the numbers of foot-oriented and foot fetish pictures in kind of porn magazines
and stuff, shot up there because, yeah, so preservation I guess, people are thinking,
well, where else can I go?
Can I tell you about Hogan Fukunaga?
He was arrested in the year 2000.
I know.
Along with 11 acolytes.
That's a bad start, isn't it?
When you and your acolytes. That's a bad start, isn't it? You were, you were an acolytes of impeachment.
So he was the head of a cult in Japan,
which offered followers an analysis of their spiritual and mental health
entirely based on their toes.
Right.
So followers would pay 600 quid to have their feet stroked
and then looked at by Mr. Fukunaga.
Concentrating adults? Concentrating adults. 600 quid to have their feet stroked and then looked at by Mr. Fukinago
Consenting adults Consenting adults
Consenting adults with more money than
Sense and no
Consenting adults with maybe too much money on their hands and who fell for the story that I can predict your future through your toes
And they will always
For the pedicure come fortune teller, right?
Yeah, it's like cross my foot with silver
Look, you're come fortune teller, right? Yeah, it's like cross my foot with silver.
Yeah, I do this.
The predictions were all very,
it's a suffering based, they predicted,
oh, you'll die of a horrible disease,
or you'll fall into debt, so that wasn't nice.
And, but you can divert your problems
if you sign up for one of our electric courses,
or if you buy a pinch of Buddha's ashes
at a mere 120,000 pounds.
Okay.
They were running this call for about 15 years.
They made 500 million quid out of it. pounds. Okay. They were running his cult for about 15 years. They made 500 million
quid out of it. Wow. Yeah. And then he claimed later on that he had been simply obeying the
voice of heaven, but that he had since forgotten what the voice had said. Ripper learned
of people. I think so. It feels like in this cult being called the head of the operation
as the wrong title. That should be the junior role. You're right. Yeah, he was the big toe.
When you have an enormous interest in feet,
I believe it's called podophilia, which means there is a word
that should be coined for people who have
and have normal interest in podcasts.
So when I have Harkins podcast,
you might have and these podophile cast.
No, I'm not.
Would you, would all your accolades be called Potter files?
LAUGHTER
No, you can get badges made.
LAUGHTER
I'm a Potter file.
I shall give them more of a help to eight people.
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
Oh, god.
No, but there should be a word for people who like podcasts lots.
Because Potter file is taken by the feetpeg, right?
Let's put them feet-of-files.
Yes. We'll take their word back. But you know, there should be a word for people who like podcast lots, because PodifyL has taken by the feetpeat, right? Let's put them feet of files. Yes.
We'll take their word back.
But you know, there should be something
on the file.
Audio file?
That's good, but it's quite confusing,
because it's also an audio file.
Yeah.
That's what makes it so fascinating.
Sorry, it's actually better than a confusing, yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
So famous, famous names who love a foot,
include Elvis.
What are we really doing?
No, we're really doing.
There's a lot of people who have admitted to loving feet and having been a feet.
It's quite, it's just quite a turn for us, isn't it?
Like celebrity toe suckers.
Apparently, the podcast is now about.
It was a story, but barely Elvis really loved it.
What's interesting is there is obviously quite a lot of famous stories about, you know,
his henchmen would go out into a crowd after a gig.
Catchment, and cut off the horse's feet.
And they would bring them back to the volcano.
Yeah.
The Elvis had his grace land.
His foot soldiers, yeah, they would go out.
And they would, so, you know, go, you, you, do you want to come meet Elvis?
And obviously, it was, you know, it's a bring women backstage.
And apparently they screened their feet.
Is, is, what is awful?
They're falling around on the floor and the gig.
Just looking for feet.
Exactly.
It's just a story.
I dropped an airing thing.
It was really most of them went to the gigs wearing shoes.
How are they doing that?
Don't, I, you know, it's just a rumor.
What is just a rumor?
We know that you love feet. And the story is, is that that was part of what, you know, it's just a rumor. What is just a rumor? We know that you love feet, and the story is,
is that that was part of what, you know,
the screening is what would go on.
Okay, okay.
Okay.
What are the stories?
Can I steer us back towards Carver Waters,
which I think about corns?
You know, you get corns on your feet.
Yeah, I can, can you, can they transfer to your feet?
That's not true.
I don't believe so. Cockhorn.
But they used to have street corn cutters, right?
That was the thing.
Oh, God, really?
Yeah.
I mean, it's sort of pretty, and it's, obviously,
if you have corns, they're really painful.
What would you do would it be like filing a nail?
Like that kind of procedure.
Right.
But the weird thing is, I just like this,
I was on the blog Foot Talk, which is another
great foot-based blog.
I really recommend it.
But there used to be jingles.
They would advertise themselves by singing jingles in the streets.
And the weird thing about this is that sometimes celebrity composers would write jingles for corn
cutters.
Sorry.
Yeah, yeah.
Like how celebrity were you talking?
Mozart's got his...
Well, are they Berlin? I'm going to say the name Orlando Gibbons. Oh, yeah, like how celebrity we're talking Mozart's goddess. Well, they Berlin. I'm gonna say the name Orlando Gibbons
Oh my god. Yeah, that's not all London way
So he wow he was he was famous at the time
He you know, he was the organist at Westminster Abbey. He was eventually named virginalist to the king
He was the list to the king. That was a skull he was kind of like. A virtual being kind of piano, obviously.
Do you mean the song where? The jingle we had. I don't think we do. They're pretty sure that he came up
with jingles for corn cutters. There's a kind of side line. I don't know if it was lucrative or
fun thing to do. You guys have just reminded me, my me, my son, he used to love corn on the cob,
but he always used to call it corn on the cock.
That was the phrase that he used.
Can I tell you something about horse's feet?
Yeah, which I love, is that horse's feet
are always giving you a middle finger.
One big middle finger.
Every horse's hoof is what we call horses foot.
It's just a big middle finger.
And this is because they once had five toes on their feet,
many, many, many years ago.
They're actually kind of three of them still visible
because you've got two little vestigial ones
if you know horse's legs, they're kind of a bit out the leg.
But the hoof is just the middle finger.
And there's actually a biologist called Catherine Cavanae
who recently was sorting through preserved
horse embryos for reasons she didn't go into.
And she saw that in the very, very early days of horse gestation, they have five fingers
on each foot.
Wow.
And then you see it in the settles, and it's like they're about to grow, and then they decide
not to grow, because they've evolved out of it.
So let me ask you this, if a horse with five toes rocks up to the grand national,
are there regulations to say?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
No rules, no rules, and it's five times faster.
Yeah, ridden by a crocodile.
LAUGHTER
You know that the women of Chicago have been famous
throughout America for abnormally sized feet.
Big or small?
Big.
Oh, OK.
In the early 20th century.
So this perfect foot, the second one was in Chicago.
And everyone was surprised because people in Chicago
usually have massive feet.
What am I going to appreciate?
It's amazing.
And I looked in the newspaper archives
and sure enough, if you look, like before, you know,
the 20s and search for big feet Chicago,
there's all these articles that go, yeah,
they all got big feet.
And then you get people in Chicago saying, yeah, we do have big feet, but actually that
also means we have big intellect. Wow. Sure it does.
Is it just the women or is it the piece of the Chicago? It's just the women of Chicago.
Is it so that they can like walk out over the Great Lakes and distribute their weight better?
Oh, that would be good. Yeah. I thought maybe because it's the windy city, isn't it?
And it would help you not to get blown over. Great shout. Yeah. It's a car. All these uses.
That's the last evolution.
That is such funny.
Is there any evidence behind it?
Is it a car?
No, I can't be true.
I mean, I'll be honest.
I haven't got Sishikago.
I've measured all the way to the speed.
But it can't be.
Get Elvis' henchmen's good.
LAUGHTER
OK, that's it. That is all of our facts. Thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to get in contact with any of us about the things that we've said over the course of this podcast, we can all be found on our social media accounts. I'm on Instagram on at Shribaland James. My Instagram is nosy fingers James Harkin. Andy, I'm on Twitter and now Blue Sky, Andrew Hunter Web. Yeah, and if you want to get in contact with us as a group,
Anna, where did they go? You can go to atnosuchthing on Twitter or you can email
podcast at qi.com. That's right. You can also go to our website,
nosuchthingasafish.com. All of our previous episodes are up there. If you'd like to check
them out, there's also some merch and lots of other fun things. Do check it out, but otherwise
just come back here. We'll be back again with another episode and we'll see you then.
Goodbye.
you