No Such Thing As A Fish - 542: No Such Thing As Darts Vader

Episode Date: August 1, 2024

James, Anna, Andy and Paul Sinha discuss cinematic blockbusters, celebrities going for gold, some questionable sport, and Martin Luther King's family's fortunes. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon

Hi everyone, we've got a very special, very exciting guest on the show today. Someone we've wanted to get on for a long time. That's the brilliant comedian Paul Sinner. He was absolutely hilarious on the show as predicted. He is of course a comedian as well as being a champion quizzing mastermind on such things as The The Chase and he's got a book out with possibly the best title for a book ever One Sinner Lifetime. See what he's done there and that too is fantastic. It's very very funny, it's also very moving, it's a memoir, it's about his really truly fascinating and up-and-down life. Would highly highly recommend it. That's One Sinner Lifetime. Would highly, highly recommend it.

That's one sinner lifetime. Look it up, get it now. Hope you enjoy the show. We had such a good time with him. ["The Last Supper"] ["The Last Supper"] Hello and welcome to another episode of No Such Things Are Fish, a weekly podcast coming to you from the QI offices in Hoban. My name is Anna Tyshynsky and I'm sitting here with Andrew Untamari, James Harkin and very special guest Paul Sinner.

Hi Paul. Hello, this is very exciting for me. Finally made it through the door. Well it's great to have you and we are here again with our four favourite facts from the last seven days and in no particular order, here we go starting with you Paul. Well it's the Olympics at the moment and so this is tangentially connected to the Olympics. I've always been fascinated by the Olympics and what it means to people,

but I'm perhaps more fascinated by people who've taken part in the Olympics, and it's nowhere near the biggest thing that's happened to them in their lives. So this is a man called Michel de Carvalho. And I can say it with almost absolute certainty that you won't know that Michel de Carvalho was a both a British Olympic skier and A British Olympic loser, but several years after his sporting career came to an end. He got

Absolutely lucky by marrying the person who is now the Netherlands richest not woman But person the heir to the Heineken Empire Charlene de Heineken he married her so he's worth billions, which is good. But that's not the greatest fact about Michel de Carvalho. The greatest fact about Michel de Carvalho is he achieved a fame before he was an Olympian. He is the only surviving cast member of Lawrence of Arabia. As a kid, he was a child actor.

He appeared as Peter O'Toole's friend and child servant. Faraj, I think his name was... Really? Spelled differently. And he's always sort of sending other tribespeople back to their traditional land where they came from. It's always very uncomfortable. But he was in Lawrence of Arabia, and he's not even that old now.

He's amazing. I think he's in his seventies. What's next to come? He's done Lawrence of Arabia, Olympics, married the richest person in the Netherlands. Strictly. That's it. That's the only thing left. It's the only mount left to conquer. But it's part of a fascination I have with people for whom, oh yeah, they were in the Olympics as well. By the way. As a sort of side category of things they've done. I wonder what she's most proud of. I mean, I think in preparation for this, Andy in fact, you may have browsed

a bit of Lawrence of Arabia. Yeah, Andy sent us a message on WhatsApp at 11 p.m. saying, I've just started to watch Lawrence of Arabia and we know that 11 p.m. has passed as bedtime anyway. Already I was pushing, you know, I shouldn't have had the oval team before I started watching. Were you searching for female characters? Not for very long.

Right, so just before we start, yes, okay, I am currently halfway through Long's River Arabia. If I'd been watching Rear Window I would have finished it by now, but I wasn't. I am about two hours in and I'm watching the proper version which is three hours forty-seven. So please can nobody spoil the end of the First World War for me. I don't know how it ends Happily It's a bit of a spoiler at the beginning though isn't it the film begins the opening scene is him getting on his motorbike and then dying Whip pan back to has anyone else seen Lawrence of radio a long time ago, okay

So when I was a kid I was made to watch it and I've willfully forgotten it Do you remember this boy a Carvalho, this friend? Yeah, he's a big character. Is he? Oh, is he? Yeah, yeah, there are two sort of manservants or sort of like, they're kind of teenagers, they're kids who are following him around and, you know, they love him and they want to be with him, they follow him into the desert on their camels.

Oh my goodness, there are so many camels. I'm sorry, if you like camels. I mean it fails the Bechdel test tragically because the two female camels in it taught nothing There is not a single woman in it like we're just speaking real right, okay, so there's a first half there's a bit where they're setting off into the desert all the men and There are some women seen wailing from a distance, but they're seen at such a distance You you can't tell You really can't tell they could be men with wigs. They're shot in silhouette as well and from behind I mean yeah those are the only female voices that have made their way into the films so far.

I think because as you mentioned you watched the proper one and there are various versions and I think in the longest one which was released in about the early 80s I think which was the original one that David Lean wanted to release. I think there are some women in the big massacre scene, apparently there are some female corpses. Maybe they'll do a remake, you know, like with Ghostbusters. An all-female. All-female Lawrence of Arabia. I love it.

Laura of Arabia. Well, that was one of the famous quotes about it was after the premiere. I think it was Noel Coward. He approached Peter O'Toole, who is unbelievably good-looking in the right he's really he's just sort of beautiful and Noel Coward went up to him and said if you've been any prettier they'd have had to call it Florence of Arabia but it's very good though it's a very good it's a cinematic masterpiece but it's not one you'd watch twice no no it's one of those ones where you watch it and you're like, oh, that's where they got Dune from.

Oh, that's where Star Wars comes from. Oh, Mad Max. That's all, like, it's all... Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, you can see it. It's sort of... Are you just saying that? You just named a bunch of films that are sort of set in the desert.

Are you just saying that because they're... Priscilla. That's not... Priscilla. Thelma and Louise. Yeah, okay, yeah. One of the things Lawrence of Arabia is responsible for is the King of Jordan.

This is nice. Oh yeah. I think current King of Jordan was conceived as a result of this film. Did you find it had that effect on you, Andy? No, I didn't see it. That's a long time, isn't it? Three and a half hours.

You get bored. Ooh, another camel. There's genuinely one camel journey, which takes 40 minutes. Is there? And it is with brief interruptions for conversation, but it is almost another camel. There's genuinely one camel journey which takes 40 minutes. Is there? And it is with brief interruptions for conversation, but it is almost all camel. I don't know what you're expecting from a film called Lawrence of Rave. You're right, you're right.

There's not enough car chases. It starts with a very exciting motorbike scene. And I thought, oh great, it's just going to be chopper action. So King of Jordan's parents looked at it. Speaking of humps, darling. Brilliant. And then... It's King Hussein of Jordan's parents looked at it, speaking of humps, darling. Brilliant. And then... It's King Hussein of Jordan, the previous one. He had lent a load of his soldiers to the film. So lots of people you see as extras in the film, playing soldiers, are soldiers from the Jordanian army.

And he visited the set because he was very keen, he was an enthusiast, and he fell for a young woman, a British secretary who was working on the film. Obviously not in front of the camera. She was called Antoinette, and they got in 1962 the year the film came out and their eldest son became the king of Jordan in 1999 So that's a happy happy ending so the the movie is based on a book seven pillars of wisdom, which is T E Lawrence is biography Yeah, yeah, we should say he was a real guy.

Just in case any listeners don't know who T.E. Lawrence was. He was a British intelligence officer and he'd been an archaeologist and a photographer in Arabia. He loved the area so much. And then during the war, he joined the army, became an intelligence officer. And his big thing was, he was lobbying for Arabian independence,

but it turned out that sort of the British and French had already kind of carved up the area there was an agreement called the Sykes-Picot agreement and sort of dividing the Arabian world into spheres of influence so he felt very very let down after the war because his Arabian cause had been betrayed and he felt like he'd let everyone down but he's a really, really interesting guy. And what happened to that Sykes-Picot agreement? I believe it all ended up well in the end. Have you seen Lawrence of Arabia 2? It's the one.

There is one. Genuinely. There's a sequel film. This ghost emerges from the motorcycle. It's called A Dangerous Man, Lawrence After Arabia. Straight video, early 90s. It's him A Dangerous Man, Lawrence after Arabia. Straight video, early 90s. It's him in Paris. It's Lawrence in Paris, basically. Guess who plays, there's just a cast and guess, Lawrence in the 90s version of Lawrence Arabia.

Paul Nicholas. I don't know who that is. Was he in East Enders? Paul Nichols? He was my first ever crush. Paul Nichols, I'm just good friends. Not Paul Nichols. Although they're both in Eastend. Actually it was Ross Kemp. You're very close. No, no, no. Paul Nichols and Ross Kemp. It's perfect casting for if you're trying to cast pissing blue eyes. Golden shimmering hair. Pat Sharp. Jude Law.

Oh close. Ray Fiennes. Oh Ray Fiennes. Oh wow. And it's like very young, very handsome Rafe Fiennes being, you know. The real Lawrence of Arabia looked nothing like that. It was five foot five, very unprepossessing looking. Was he really? Just on the film Lawrence of Arabia, which I think was much more fun to be involved in than the actual being Lawrence of Arabia, they had a whale of a time. Peter O'Toole and Omar Sharif had so much fun together and ended up great friends

and Peter O'Toole, who claims he slept with 1,033 women in his life, true to form on that film, him and Omar Sharif had women flown out for them at weekends. Yeah, there were none present at the time. They must have been so gutted when they took the first look at the cast. You are kidding me. Oh no, these are all camels. Sorry, these are all called Flossie, but they are all camels.

No, they did. They had a great time. And Omar Sharif sounds like such a fun character. He was from Egypt, and he was sent to a British school there because he was fat. And the British food was so bad, his parents thought, this will get him thin. Bad schools in the world.

Yeah, OK. They saw him out. His grandson said he had world. Yeah, okay. This will sort him out. His grandson said he had two areas of expertise, bridge and sex. And he actually taught his grandson about the birds and the bees. And he said, making love is like playing bridge. You either need an incredible partner

or a really good hand. Oh, I love it. It's really strong. And you only need four people. And when I was a kid, I think he did the bridge column in the Sunday Times magazine. Really?

Is he? Oh, he's a... No way! When they say he played Bridge, he played Bridge. I mean, he's one of the best players in the world. No way! Oh no, that's a proper polymath. Olympians?

Yeah. Unusual weird Olympians? Yeah, go for it. Bob Anderson? The darts player? No. This is a problem. You know so many people, Paul.

I know. If I say any two names. What's interesting was Bob Anderson, the world darts champion of the late 80s or early 90s, he was a junior javelin thrower, so I thought maybe I missed the fact that he'd gone to the Olympics. No.

Actually, I know where you're going with this, Andy, because I found this as well. We're looking for someone who used an item which is longer than a dart and shorter than a javelin. Yes. A knife and fork he did eating at the Olympics. But the same shape as both. Yes.

God, that's a very good clue. Yeah, yeah. I'm just, my mind is blown from the fact there's a Bob Anderson who did darts and javelin. What the hell? And then there's someone in the middle who did something in between. So this Bob Anderson, who's not a dart or a javelin player he was an Olympic fencer bingo yeah he was also in a movie doing what? For lightsabers. Bingo. Correct. He played Darth Vader. Oh wow. He's the third man to play Darth Vader. Wow. He did all the fight scenes with the lightsaber as in the big costume. I think I would like to see Darth Vader throwing darts actually. Darth Vader? There's his nickname for the yokey.

Brilliant. How did I not get that? And did they hire him solely on his fencing skills? Because I suppose Darth Vader, he doesn't have a face does he? So his face is covered. So you don't need to be able to act. Well he was a major Hollywood sword fighting choreographer. So he did loads and loads.

He would choreograph fights and sometimes he did the fights himself if it was a costume thing and it was because he'd been a fencer it is. He worked on the Three Musketeers, The Princess Bride, The Mask of Zorro, Lord of the Rings and Die Another Day. Oh which were all inspired by Lawrence of Arabia weren't they? Yes. Odd Job in Goldfinger. Yeah I know about that one. Was he? Olympian? Yeah.

1948. Another famous darts thrower throw right hold on was it me through dots 48 was like he throws his hat sorry discuss that's not exactly how you throw a discus how he throws his hat he he sort of curls it free he throws it frisbee style yeah yeah oh I said fris discusses the other way around yeah he was a weightlifter wasn't it yeah that's silver medalist actually silver medalist 48 I Silver medalist, 48. I always like how, who's the guy in the Goonies that,

hey you guys, that guy, he was an American football player and won two Super Bowls. Oh wow. The guy who plays, is it Chunk? I've not seen the Goonies. Have you not seen the Goonies? Oh no. Okay, if you want to see classics.

The Goonies. Alan Turing. Almost an Olympian. Turing? Very close. Chess? Er... Chess?

Yeah, no actually. He was a really fast runner. He came fifth in the Amateur Athletics Association Marathon in 1948, almost qualifying him for the Olympics. And he actually did beat in a running race the silver medallist that year. Wow. What year? 48. What, after the war? 48 is a big year.

It was Andre Agassi's dad boxed for Iran in the year 40. What did he? Andre Agassi's dad represented Iran at boxing in 1948. I remember, Paul, you posted on social media once about Andre Agassi and Ginger Rogers. What's that fact? Of course it's that Ginger Rogers played in the US Open tennis mixed doubles. Did she look backwards and in high heels? It's really bizarre. Yeah, yeah.

Ginger, I mean she wasn't that good a tennis player. She just happened to take part one year. And her partner was Brooke Shields's grandfather or something? Very odd, yeah. Who was married to Andre Agass grandfather. Something very odd, yeah. Who was married to Andre Agassi. Something really, really odd. Sorry, 1948 had Odd Job, Andre Agassi's dad. Was Odd Job 48? 48, Odd Job was 48.

Andre Agassi's dad was 48. Jaroslav Drobny, who won Wimbledon for Egypt, were men's singles for Egypt in the 50s, played ice hockey for Czechoslovakia in 48. We are getting more obscure now, aren't we? And almost Alan Turing. Almost Alan Turing. And then I've managed to find somebody

who was in the Olympics in 1948, and it's not even mentioned on his Wikipedia page. No. A guy called Andrei Vortikin, who is an engineer who designed the Atomium in Brussels. No. The man who designed the Atomium in Brussels played field hockey for Belgium in the 1948 Olympics. And the first ever international no such thing as a fish gig was the Atomium in Brussels.

We brought it home. And we think it's based on an atom, but it's actually just six hockey balls. OK, it is time for fact number two, and that is my fact. My fact this week is that Samuel L Jackson once locked Martin Luther King's dad in an upstairs room, then gave him a ladder to escape out of the window. We're back to connections. Yes. Oh yeah.

So this is at Morehouse College, which is a black American college, and there was a student protest there. And Samuel L. Jackson, he's a very active student, and he's protesting the idea that it's this black college, but they're being sort of groomed to be very successful in a very mainstream kind of white society way. So it's extremely high achieving Morehouse College. It's, you know, it's turned out extraordinary people and I think their demands were things like, look, we want a black studies program.

We want a black board of trustees, involvement with black communities. So a black board of trustees, not a black board of trustees. It is an educational establishment. That's where the confusion arose and so they bought loads of black boards and then yes a black space board of trustees and anyway they decided the best way to achieve this is to kidnap the members of the board and one of them was Martin Luther King's dad and so they kidnapped them and they locked them upstairs. I think it was two stories up and they bought padlocks and they took chains from keep off the grass signs

on campus to sort of padlock them in. And then Martin Luther King's dad, Martin Luther King's senior started getting chest pains. And quite heartlessly in the interview I read with Samuel L. Jackson, he was like, well, look, we didn't want to unlock any of the doors because the protests had to go on. So instead they got the ladder that the neighbouring girls school had used to climb up to that window

as part of the process, put it up to the window, said to him, slide down that mate, take yourself to a doctor. And so he did. And they were connected, Samuel L. Jackson and the King family, weren't they? Yeah, they were. I know he was at the funeral. He was at the funeral, he was a pallbearer, Samuel L. Jackson, at Martin Luther King's funeral. Yeah.

Because he'd been involved in student protest and student politics and black activism and all that kind of stuff. And the funeral happened at this college. Yeah. He was very politically active, Samuel L. Jackson, for a while. He was actually made to leave Atlanta

because the FBI were after him. Really? It's an amazing story where the FBI came and knocked on his mum's door and they said, get your son out of Atlanta or someone's gonna after him. Really? It's an amazing story where the FBI came and knocked on his mum's door and they said get your son out of Atlanta or someone's gonna kill him and he went to LA and that was sort of where he picked up some show business. That's amazing. All I know about him is he likes playing golf. Does he? Yeah. Have you got a list? I know one very important fact about him which is that when I was on a final chase once, I was asked what is Samuel L Jackson's middle name and I went Leroy and Bradley said correct and I've never

felt more ashamed of getting a question right in the final show. I felt I'd been rewarded for racially stereotyping in a way that didn't justify reward. He had a stutter as a child as well. he said that the one word that he says to get him out of a stutter is oh I know what this is snakes snakes is that what you associate Samuel I checked it with snakes snakes on a plane okay what's the other I gotta get these snakes off this plane oh I see yeah yeah yeah these days he doesn't stutter as much but if he ever does start stuttering, all he has

to do is say that word and it will get him out of it. Okay, I've read this on his IMDB. It's that he has his own wig consultant. Oh yeah. And I did a little bit of digging. I don't think it's his own wig consultant because I don't think he's on an exclusive contract with Samuel L. Jackson. Okay.

No. He does wigs for loads of people, doesn't he? He does wigs for loads of people. He's had lots and lots of on-screen hairdos. If you say my agent, they might be agents for other people as well, but they're still your agent. That's true.

Yes, but if I said I have a plumber, it'd be weird. Wait, what do you mean? The same thing applies, Andy. Your own plumber is not exclusive to you, is he? Yeah, you say my plumber came round. Yeah, but it would be weird if someone wrote a fact sheet about me saying he has his own plumber came round. Yeah, but I it would be weird if someone wrote a fact sheet about me saying he has his own plumber

Elton John is probably the only person I can imagine has his own plumber Not even the king Elton John Anyways, so I looked at this guy this happened and stylist and he's worked for loads of famous people Anyway, his name is Robert L Stevenson. Guess what L stands for? It's Louis He's called Robert Louis Stevenson. That's brilliant. Yes, he is named after the Treasure Island author. Is he really? Yeah Well, you must be like there's no way you would accidentally come up with that name He was only the third male hair stylist in the Hollywood Union. Really? Yeah

So just stick that in your pipe and spike it. Yeah. I could have sworn he was the first. You think you know his subject. It's amazing what you learn on this show, isn't it? Just think. On a more serious note, I didn't realise until I was reading about him. His life was in ruins, wasn't it?

The dates, cocaine and heroin. It made me think that perhaps this is what we need to be doing for all drug addicts. Make them into Hollywood stars. Make them into film stars. Are you saying you should go down to the job centre? Or at the job centre, when people come to you, they say, I'm in a real difficult place, addicted to drugs, I'm unemployed.

The advice should be, have you considered becoming a film star? Or what jobs have you got? Well, we've got a role playing Prince Faisal. No, I'll play Lawrence. Thank you very much. And the other thing is he wasn't considered an especially good actor until he got into films. His career wasn't really going anywhere in particular. Who, SLJ?

SLJ. From SLJ to MLK? Yeah. Good segue. Nice, nice. Love it. He tried to get sent to school a year early and was foiled by the teacher when he accidentally mentioned that his fifth birthday was coming up.

Was he responsible for registering himself? I think it was actually. Was it like those First World War things where you say I'm 14 and they say well walk around the block and tell me you're 18 when you come back. What's nice about that is if he was then he's proved that he's precocious enough to do it in the first. Exactly, they put him straight into sixth form. It was him and his dad senior in fact sort of plotted together to get him let in,

because he was keen to go to school. Was he keen to go to school or was his dad keen to get him out of the house? Because I couldn't think of any reason I would send my daughter to school early and that would be it. He kept telling us dad about his dreams. It was so annoying. He just, you know what it's like, other people's dreams. Boring. He said his main weaknesses were food and women, so there's... 50% there. LAUGHTER

Wow. Which pissed off his dad, actually. He said this as a grown man, not as a five-year-old. Cos if there was a five-year-old boy said that to me, I would... You'd call the socials, wouldn't you? He was precocious. No, he was a... He had a lot of affairs, didn't he? He did. Yeah. And he loved to dance. Food, women, dancing. Loved to dance the jitterbug,

which I think we might have talked about the fact he was very controversial and his dad once, cringe, turned up when he was dancing the jitterbug in front of a bunch of women, seized him and dragged him off the dance floor. Wow. This is another really bizarre connection, much like the King of Jordan being due to Lawrence of Arabia. Abdullah II. Yep. Martynly the King is responsible for Julia Roberts existing. Is that true? It is. So someone had sex while he was doing this speech?

He... no. He... I had a dream that Richard Gere came along. He paid for the hospital bill when she was born. Really? So he's not responsible for her being born, but her parents are. But he paid it because her parents had an acting school in Atlanta and they had been very welcoming to King's own children.

So the families knew each other and so when Julia Roberts was born, Martin Luther King stumped up for the bills. See, he's contributed so much. Yeah. The non-violence element of King's philosophy was really interesting. The Montgomery Bus Boycott was a really famous one of his campaigns, and it wasn't initially planned as a Gandhi-style campaign of non-violence. But after Rosa Parks, after she was arrested on the bus, the campaign was kind of adjusted. And he hadn't originally known much about Gandhi or Gandhi's campaigns, which were famously

non-violent. He had lots of guns, for example. He once applied for a permit to carry a concealed weapon because he was very worried about his safety, correct me if I know that. But once in 1962 at one of his events, one of his rallies, a 200-pound white Nazi party member called Roy James jumped on stage and hit him in the face at which point he lowered his hands and Kept talking and spoke calmly and didn't try to protect himself even when he was hit again this is quite striking reading about the Extend of his commitment to the non-violence and showing non-violence in front of a large I mean I'm not gonna defend this man, but 200 pounds is not that big. No, you're right. It's not

I'm not going to defend this man, but £200 is not that big. No, you're right, it's not actually. I don't know why, I mentioned it and I'm apologised. I fat shamed a Nazi and I shouldn't have done... Yeah, yeah, no, fair enough. Wow, why have I come out as the bad guy? Sorry. As someone who's been £200, I take a massive offense for this. You know what? I actually...

I don't know what £200 is in old money. 14... 14 stone 4. Oh, that's nothing. OK, sorry. £200 is old money, it's just lower denominations, isn't it? I don't know what 200 pounds is in all but so team 14 stone for that's nothing Okay, sorry, I wouldn't I wouldn't have bothered saying a 14 stone If that might lift King may have been bigger we don't know Okay, personally, I still think it's impressive. But I take your point, everybody, thank you. The way my brain works as well, I can't get rid of the fact that the march,

depicted in the film Selma, the march from Selma to Montgomery, is the most famous march that was from one Simpson's character to another Simpson's character. Such a good point! That's what it was really about. That's very funny. I just have a thing on random celebrity connections that actually, it feels so trivially. I wonder if Paul knows about it. Do you know what the Erdos-Bacon number is?

Oh yeah, Paul Erdos, the mathematician and Kevin Bacon. Yeah, this is so cool. The star of Footloose and the possible reason I'm gay. Interesting. Having watched Footloose in the possible reason I'm gay. Interesting. Having watched Footloose in a very tender moment in my life. Yeah, it's a combination isn't it? And someone really famous has got an Erdos-Bacon number of two or three. Is it Natalie Portman?

That's so good. It's not two or three would be a lot, but Natalie Portman, yes. You add them together? Yeah, so it's like if you've been in a paper with Paul Erdösch or someone who's been in a paper with him or if you've been in a film with Kevin Bacon or somebody who's been in the film with him. Exactly. So how many connections do you make between Paul Erdösch and Kevin Bacon?

And as you say, Natalie Portman has an Erdösch-Bacon number of, I think it's seven, but it's still good. Because she's the only celebrity I could find who was a genuine academic and that's her connection Because she actually wrote a paper when she was in school There is another one as well as much more obscure. She played Winnie in the wonder years Pretty sure that the actress who played Winnie in the wonder years has an erdosh number of some description Is she the one with dark hair in the wonder years? I think so. She's the reason that I'm straight

Because that was on when I was like five years old or something Is she the one with dark hair in the Wonder Years? I think so, yeah. She's the reason that I'm straight. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha one was Colin Firth who has an Erdof Baker number of six who because he's credited as co-author of a neuroscience paper after he suggested on Radio 4 that a study could be done about it so he mentioned Radio 4 hey someone should look into this it's the title is political orientations are correlated with brain structure and young adults so I haven't actually heard about Radio 4 but I'm guessing he says oh I wonder if people with different political views his brains look different shall we talk my... And they accredited him. And they accredited him as co-author, yes. Fair enough. He came up with the thing. Yeah, yeah. Oh, OK. OK.

Credit's a credit. Yeah, you're right. One of Martin Luther King's long-term lovers was Dot Cotton. What? Excuse me? Her name was Dot Cotton. Her name was Dorothy Cotton. It wasn't Dot Cotton from East Enders. I think of her as the sort of reason that you're straight, Andy, someone like her. OK, it's time for fact number three and that is Andy.

My fact is that top football teams sometimes travel with their own grass. And you're referring to the drug? No. The surface? Oh, I was thinking of people who tell tales. Oh yeah! Their own coppers' narc. I would say John Terry was probably one.

Oh yeah? Do you actually have a feel of a coppers' narc about it? It's probably long-term undercover cop. Trying to expose, I don't know, socialism? No, they take great... this is so weird. Okay, so this happened just now. We've had a tournament, right? It was... what was it? The Euros? We don't like to talk about it, but yeah, it was the Euros. But you did alright, didn't you? Are you being Scottish now?

Well, you don't want to be Scottish in the Euros. This was an initiative by the FA, so they had a pitch in Blankenhain, Are you being Scottish now? I think I am, yeah. Oh, well, you don't want to be Scottish in the Euros. This was an initiative by the FA. So they had a pitch in Blankenhain, which is where their training camp was. And that was seeded in April some months ago with turf that was used in London. And I guess it was London seed as well, Wembley seed. It was a full-size pitch, fertilised level, given a haircut. So they were training on...

Isn't that strange? Why wouldn't you train on what you're actually going play on well exactly I think it's pathetic to be honest I think if you can't play on a range of surfaces. What's the point like what what's the point of this? How they've not got you as a sports pundit 606 special with Andrew Hunter Murray that was quite right keen though wasn't it that's pathetic Yeah, but it worked regardless of the logic it worked for the world. That was quite Roi Keane though, wasn't it? That's pathetic. But it worked. Regardless of the logic, it worked.

Well, that's a good point. They did get there because they did very well. What a huge waste. Well, I mean, I'm sure that grass is now being enjoyed at this hotel or golf resort or whatever it was. What was there before? Probably some different grass. Yeah, exactly.

Oh yeah, sorry. I'm not sure people are enjoying any more now. They shipped that grass over to Wembley Stadium. It's now only good for golfing, yeah, sorry. I'm not sure people are enjoying any of that. They ship that grass over to Wembley Stadium. It's now only good for golfing, actually, because it's a golf hotel they play. Yeah. The different grass makes a big difference in golf, I have to say.

If you go to play golf in Florida, and they have what's called Bermuda grass, and then you play in Scotland, it's very different feel. And you're normally in the rough, aren't you, though, James? If you're not in the bunker, you're in the sort of long grassy bits at the edge, hacking away. Don't try the golf banter with me, young man. Sorry.

But it's much sort of more tangly and it's got more of a grain to it. So if you try and hit against the grain in Bermuda grass, then it's actually quite difficult to get the club through the ball. Whereas if you play in Fescue in Scotland, it's really easy, it's very short. OK. It's not stopping the Americans from winning in Scotland. No. Sorry, aren't you hitting off the tee anyway?

Aren't you hitting above the grass? You hit your first shot off the tee, but then future shots you don't hit off the tee. I thought you were allowed to pop a tee in the ground. Oh my God. How many times have I spoken about golf on this podcast? My filters are incredible by now. The shot has come down.

You've learned nothing. Do you want to know something ironic about pitches? Oh yeah. Football pitches. An uneven pitch creates a level playing field. Oh very good. Why? Maybe the best footballer is good at playing on level playing fields, very even pitches. Exactly. It's a classic sort of FA Cup thing, isn't it? You get a lower division team with a terrible pitch and then the big shot Charlies have to go and play on it and they can't cope. Yeah, because you rely on extremely fast, precise passing so they're flatter and more even the pitch. You've not watched England recently. Even I got that. But yeah as soon

as you're on a less even pitch then it sort of equalises people because it's a little bit bumpy it's a little bit hard to get those very fast passes in and it is a hugely refined art isn't it the pitch and grass maintenance in football. I think there was a manager Laurent Blanc who was managing Paris Saint-Germain in 2013. All his players were getting injured, they were doing badly, and they hired a groundsman called Jonathan Calderwood. And Laurent Blanc credited Calderwood with 16 of that club's points by the end of the season when they won the next season. And he was from Paris Saint-Germain?

Yes. How many points did he attribute to the massive amount of money they got from Qatar? It didn't need it actually. But no, it is a hugely advanced science. And it is actually one of the things where Britain is world leading, is the field of groundskeeping and turf consultancy. Why is it Kirsten Arner mentioning this in his speech? It's changed Wimbledon though, hasn't it? The tennis.

The tennis as a tournament has been transformed by the fact that the grass is not as fast as it once was. Absolutely, yeah. When we were all growing up, you'd have huge 6'6", 6'7", serve volleyers who'd smash the ball, come to the net, volley it. No one volleys anymore because the ball's slowed down in the grass and people just hit the ball straight back at them. Yeah. And pass them. And it's like a better game, right? Would you say objectively it's kind of more interesting?

No. I think it's gone too far the other way. If there's a serve and volley, I'd like to see them do well, just because it's now a refreshing change. Yeah. And do you know that also they think it's like a group think thing,

because everyone assumed that serve and volley wouldn't work as well on this bouncy slower grass but actually I think if you do choose a servant volley I think you're still proportionally winning the same number of points as you would before so they should go back to it. Should they? One does miss the servant volley. A women's game has almost disappeared. Yeah. The Navaratilovers and the various East European Czechs of the 80s and 90s all served and volleyed. They've all gone. They've been lost in the long grass.

Very strong. You know they vacuum it, Wimbledon. They vacuum the grass every day. They've got a turf consultant, they've got a... they measure the chlorophyll index of the... Yeah, they do. This is all part of the British groundskeeping revolution. And British groundskeepers go all over the world. That's the thing, it's like, okay, if you win the Euros, if you're Spain, fine, you've won the Euros, great, but no one can play without a pitch. Right. And if we as Britain are making the best pitches, who is the most important team in that tournament? Exactly, exactly, and there should be

there should be points. We should probably start two goals ahead just because of our contribution, right? But the sad thing about Wimbledon grass is that when you're watching it, it is in the process of dying. In fact, one of the Wimbledon groundskeepers said you're walking the line between life and death when you maintain that grass. All right.

OK. Hey, you're the one who's elevated them to sort of a global, renowned status. Let me give you a test on football, Andy. Yeah. Stanford Bridge, Good on football, Andy. Yeah. Stanford Bridge, Goodison Park, St. James' Park, Emmerich Stadium, Anfield, Old Trafford, Wembley. What is the surface they play football on in those places?

Grass. It is not grass. Oh, come on. They play on something called Desso Grassmaster. Wasn't he one of the pioneers of hip-hop? Grassmaster Desso, yeah. So it's 95% grass, but 5% uniquely engineered soft polyethylene yarn. What?

So it's mostly grass. Yeah, but I didn't say that to be fair. I said grass, it's my fault. You wouldn't accept that on one of your quizzes, Paul. Well, they wouldn't accept that on the final chase, where even the slightest error is punished. But they're technically hybrid pictures. So it's plastic.

Because it's got tiny bits of plastic in it, and it just helps the grass stay alive, and also makes it more bouncy bouncy and it's always perfect. Leicester City Football Club, they're very good aren't they? Are they still very good? Not as good as they once were. No, not as good as they literally once were. Oh right, because they were... But they got promoted, did they get promoted last season?

I think they did, didn't they? They're back in the Premier League. Well, in sports turf science fields... The most important fields. They're out in front. Are you Michaelah Richards? What was that? I don't...who's that? He's a...

Pundit supreme. Yeah, former footballer, now pundit. Oh, great. He's always on my show. You sound exactly like him. Really? Pshhhhhh! Okay.

So Leicester City, they... So they do a lot of the science, you know, behind it, and they were doing a study in 2021 for the European Space Agency about turning their grass clippings into because if you pile up the clippings, it creates a lot of methane gas anaerobic digestion. Now you are sounding like Nick Richards. Yeah, you're like for like. I don't know what's happening. But then that gas, you could turn it into a liquid and then refine that into fuel. They also know they have 89 newts and they have to count them. What?

Because they have to protect their newts because there are all these rules about habitat and biodiversity and all this. 89 newts? 89? I could have sworn it was a 99 newt game. Oh my God! 89? I could have sworn it was a 90 minute game. Oh my god. That just happened. That's the joke of the podcast. We've done 500 episodes. That's it. That's the joke. Let's end. Let's end there. Come on, you set it up with 89. You must have done.

Have you heard of Heini Alemania? Wish I had. He invented the ironically named Fair Play spray. So Fair Play spray. Do you know what Fair Play spray is, Andy? Could you guess? You spray it in the other player's eyes. They can't see.

They score a goal. Is that it? No. Do you know what Fair Play spray is? No, I have no idea. Think of what sprays you use in football every game. Deodorant. Oh, the line.

The line. The line free- referee puts down. Yeah, yeah. So the line, basically when you take a free kick, the opposition have to be 10 yards away and they usually make a little wall to stop you from getting it in the goal. To make them stand there, you'll put a little line of what looks like shaving foam on the ground. And this was invented by a guy called Haini Alemania in 2000 and the

reason it's ironically called Fair Play Spray is that FIFA refused to give him any money for it. They said basically you know someone else also came up with an idea around the same time and we're just gonna do it anyway and there's nothing you can do and he went to Brazilian court who found in his favor in 2018 and ordered FIFA to pay 10,000 pounds for every game they ignored their order. And since then, they probably owe him about 200 million quid. Well, the ruling was upheld in 2021. FIFA said that they are not bound by Brazilian law. And as time of recording, I couldn't find out what had happened with it But I know that he does sell them now, but he doesn't get paid every time they use them

I don't think I trust FIFA as an honest Will reimburse this guy he called it Spumy the stuff FIFA calls it fair play spray so Spumy I called it Spoo-me the stuff. FIFA calls it Fair Play Spray. So Spoo-me. You know? Um. Can you think of a good nickname for a groundskeeper? Willie?

Yeah. Going back to the Simpsons. So this is the sort of uber Willie of, you might have heard of him, James, because he's called George Tomer. No, I don't. And it's American football. I'm into American football,

but not so much that I know the names of all the grounds people. Then are you really into it at all? He did the pitch for every single Super Bowl until the 57th one. He spent 82 years of his life being a groundskeeper. He probably did other things. No, I don't think he did. He started very, very young and he retired last year aged 94.

How interesting, because they move the Super Bowl to different places every year don't they? So yeah that must be interesting that he's... Yeah yeah. Was it good or was it a bit like you know when he talked to younger doctors and they say the old ones are sort of sticking with the old ways don't work as well they're losing a bit. A bit of a twist who's absolutely shit. He mowed it to nothing. He only mowed half the pitch one year. Small hills everywhere. That's so funny. And he said when he retired, when I'm in heaven I'll be looking at your beautiful field or I'll be in hell looking at what kind of root system you have. What a great question. That's great.

And his nickname is? The Sodfather. Oh, the Sodfather. I love that. Do you know what's better about grass compared to trees if you're lovers? It's hard to have sex while lying on a tree. You lack ambition. LAUGHTER What's better? There are an infinite number of correct answers.

I wish I hadn't gone near. I'm looking for a much more innocent... For lovers. For lovers. ...or innocent variety. Bark stains don't show up on your chinos as much. LAUGHTER What would a pair of 15-year-olds who are not acquainted with the birds and the bees do around a tree? Write their initials in it. The initials. You can't write your initials in a blade of grass.

But if you did, it would grow with the blade. You know, there's always that thing which is like, if you write your initials in a tree, will they grow with the tree? Oh, sorry, it's like high off the ground? No, they won't, yeah, because the tree grows from the top, but grass grows from the bottom. So if you write your initials on a blade of grass and then come back 50 years later. What's that blade of grass that we wrote our initials on? The amount of filth that groundskeeper's seen

over 57 years, he should write a book. Book. All right, time for fact number four and that is James. Okay, my fact this week is that the hiring of the first ever African American White House Secretary was announced on an episode of a quiz show. Unorthodox. Was it an unguessable answer, if that was the question? They didn't get it right. Okay. They didn't get it right. Okay.

They didn't get it right. This was in a show called What's My Line, which people who are old enough would remember. It was like a very posh old American game show. Everyone would be in dinner jackets and the ladies would be in gowns with gloves and stuff and the host would bring in a guest and you would have to guess what their job was basically or what they were famous for something like that and if they were really famous you would have to wear a blindfold but if you they weren't really famous you wouldn't have to wear a blindfold because you wouldn't get any visual clues and

LBJ became president and he decided that they were you know times were a change in and they were going to get rid of segregation and he thought well the best way to do that is to start in the White House and so he hired this person called Geraldine Whittington and rather than doing a big announcement he thought if I announce it on national television maybe that'll be, you know, make a bit of a splash. on national television, maybe that'll be, you know, make a bit of a splash. So Geraldine came on to What's My Line and they had to, these B-list celebrities had to guess what her job was and they couldn't because no one would ever guess that a black woman would be working in the White House.

That's very clever. I don't think there's such a thing as a B-list celebrity on American television in the 1950s and 60s. But I didn't know you were being on television. You were actually huge. That's true. I suppose, yeah. They were interestingly eminent, those guesses. I think the guesses changed a bit over the years. So the panel included people like Bennett Cerf, who won the case against the censorship of Ulysses in 1933.

The former governor of New Jersey. Dorothy Kigallan, a newspaper columnist who wrote about links between organised crime and US intelligence. What will these people think when they see an equivalent of a British game show? That's Keith Lemon, he was the first person to report on the Challenger disaster in 1986. It seems such a contrast. It is stunning. It's stunning. Very eminent people.

The celebrity guests, they got huge, weren't they? They had Walt Disney, Salvador Dali, Marlon Brando, Jimmy Stewart, Groucho Marx, Errol Flynn. So are these celebrity guesses or sort of guests? Celebrity what's my line when the guesses are blindfolded. Obviously you would know immediately Dali as soon as you you seen him, so they wore blindfolds for him. So the guesses were blindfolded and you're allowed to ask, do you work in the arts? And he says yes. And it's yes and no answers. Dali would be a nightmare, surely. It was a complete nightmare because everything I asked him,

he said yes. It's like, so I wrote down the questions, are you associated with the arts? Yes. Would you have been seen on television? Yes. Are you a performer? Yes. Are you a leading man? Yes. And then the host goes, because I've seen the video of it, the host goes, OK, I just have to say that even though he might be seen as a leading man in some parts of his life, it would be misleading for you to think he was a leading man in the normal definition of the phrase.

And then they move on. It's so funny. So he wasn't even gone with the wind, but he was the leading man of the Surrealist art. Yes! Because it's really funny, he says, they go, are you a leading man? He goes, yes. The host sort of looks at him and goes, what the fuck are you doing? And then the two of them have this little conflap where Dalí obviously is like explaining why he's such a leading man and the host is just going,

yeah yeah but that's not what they meant. That's unbelievable. It's really good. Shouldn't get Dahlion. If you want it to go in a straightforward way, don't get Dahlion. Are you an orange? Yes.

Why have you melted our clock? Just one more thing on What's My Line. Did you guys hear about the sister show, I've Got a Secret? No. I'm aware it was existent. It's a really fun, it's a tweak on the format basically. Someone comes show? I've got a secret. No. I'm aware it's existent. It's a really fun... It's a tweak on the format, basically. Someone comes on, they've got a secret, the panel has to guess what the secret is.

So, here are some of the secrets. These are so good. I discovered the planet Pluto. Oh, right. Okay. Again, it's very eminent. Was that Clyde Tombaugh? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. He was telling the truth, then.

You have ruined this show. It would have been one minute long. Let's see if you can get this one then, Paul. My wife's going to have a baby. That was Tony Curtis about his wife Janet Leigh. Oh, Jamie Lee Curtis. Jamie Lee Curtis. Oh, so this was a way of celebrities to announce things. Like, I've got a new movie coming out. Best one. I've got a book coming out, Paul, for instance.

The best one ever on this show was, I am the last witness surviving of Abraham Lincoln's assassination. Oh, cool. It was a guy called- Is that Joe Biden? It was a guy called Samuel Seymour. And this was- Seymour? He did Seymour indeed.

Very good. This was 1956, this ad. He saw it aged five and he appeared on the show aged 95. Although there was some scepticism because he only told anyone about this when he was 94. It slipped his mind! This never came up! That's so funny.

Wow. Sounds like a great show. The British show was quite tragic. It slipped his mind! It just never came up. That's so funny. Wow. There we go. Sounds like a great show. The British show was quite tragic. What, the What's My Line? Yeah, because you talk about B-list celebrities, and of course they weren't B-list, because they were absolutely A-list

on account of being on television at a time when everybody was watching the same thing. So these people were launched into fame, and there was a guy called Gilbert Harding, who became known as the rudest man in Britain because of how grumpy he was on the show. He just carried it as an albatross around his neck that he was hated by the British public.

And then there's a woman called Lady Isabel Barnett, another one of the regulars on the show, and she committed suicide two days after a shoplifting scandal because she couldn't live with the disgrace of Lady Isabel Barnett from What's My Line being turned out to she's been shoplifting for years and it's the danger of imposing that much fame on people that weren't ready for it. It was a very real keynote way that TV worked in the 50s and 60s and I'm glad that we only get two and a half

million viewers anymore. I'm appearing on a only get two and a half million viewers anymore Appearing on a quiz show has changed a quiz show or is it a game show? What's my line? Oh my god, Andy You are opening up a can of worms here If you're sure it's incredibly straightforward isn't it if you're asked quiz questions that require some knowledge It's not a quiz question to be asked. What's my line? It's like It's a hybrid you have to be knowledgeable to solve the puzzles that you're It's like, what's the capital of... It's a hybrid, you have to be knowledgeable to solve the puzzles that you're set. Yeah. It's a wisdom show.

Not a quiz show, it's what's the capital of Armenia? Paul? Yerevan. Oh, James got that one, sorry. I forgot I wasn't called Paul there for a second. What's six times nine? 54, I need that one. Um...

Sometimes you've got to get in first. You would be the worst quiz show host ever, Andy. And now this is for the million pounds. And the answer is Eleanor of Aquitaine. Let's play. I think if you go onto online forums of people who like quizzes or people who like game shows and you ask this question, for instance,

is Countdown a quiz show? That's the rest of your week gone. Oh, really? I think Countdown is a game show. And really? I think Countdown is a game show and the reason I think Countdown is a game show is you don't have to know what any of the words mean. You just have to know they exist. I think it's a quiz show

because I think a game show has to have gunge. It doesn't have gunge. No gunge, it's a quiz. Yeah. You know? Like Gladiators is technically a quiz. Does Gladiators have gunge? No,adiators is technically a quiz. Does Gladiators have good- No, no, it's a quiz.

But does that mean any TV show? I mean, I will stress, I don't think there's anything better about either format. They're both as entertaining as each other. You must know loads and loads and loads of formats for these shows, Paul. I've watched a lot of... You've watched so many, yeah. So this is a slight game where... I don't know if you'll just know the answers automatically.

Like, I'm going to name a title of a quiz show. Okay. And if you can guess the format. That sounds fun. This is a quiz? Well, no, because I've got some gunge in the ceiling. Uh, Repo Games. Okay, I can't no, because I've got some gunge in the ceiling. Repo games.

Okay, I can't answer this because I know this one. Okay. I don't know what this means. I think it's the only quiz show I know the format, or game show I know the format for, because I read about it. Oh, okay. Right, Paul. So the other two know about it because they've read about it.

It's quite difficult because we wouldn't, we don't show them the jealousy. Do you have to come up with the first words of Emilio Estevez films in the 1980s Yes No, is that a couple of guys arrive and repossess your car unless you can answer a set of trivia questions In which case you get to keep it. I was like two events of my life combined into one Both about circa 1998 But I think in this case they were always going to have their car repossessed because they hadn't had their payment, they hadn't done their payments, so they were going to

get it repossessed anyway and they're like well here's a chance to save your car right? Yeah, it's you falling behind on your payments. But the reason I read about it is because didn't someone get shot? Yeah. I think that's the story about that. But weirdly you'd think that the people doing the shooting and they were done for attempted murder Well, the people who are having their car repossessed, but they were happy about it It was the neighbor who was pissed off the car parked in the driver. Yeah, exactly. It was I get those cameras out of my face

That's funny. Um, you're in the picture. Okay. I don't know this is about weeing you we on a camera You're in you're in the picture how many're in the picture. How many photographs can you wee on in a minute? Is it like where's Wally but you're in the picture so it's where's you. That is good. That's very good. Do they show you a famous painting and the main person has been replaced by you and you've got to guess the name of the original painting? Oh that's a good one. I think you're almost closest Paul is that it's celebrities, they insert their faces into holes cut out like those things you get at the seaside oh yeah oh and you have to guess the image you're in based on you can

ask questions oh i see that's a good i think that's a good yeah that's nice you know it lasted one week oh there was an apology the next week saying that was awful sorry can i do one um animal crackups you know this one animal crack ups, okay There is a thing called animal crackers. So it's a jigsaw show and you have to fit back together pulverized biscuits No, it's basically they show lots of videos of animals doing funny things and then they ask you questions about those animals and Then if you win you get a stuffed animal. But I only really bring it up because it was hosted by a friend of the podcast Alan Thickey. Who is, who's the Thickey? Robin Thickey. His father was like a big TV guy. Oh yeah yeah yeah. He also wrote the theme change

a different stroke. Yes that's exactly right. And also he... One of my all-time favorite facts. Exactly right. Wow. And also he... One of my all time favourite facts. He also sang the theme to Animal Crack Ups. Wow. You've been on Just a Minute, Paul, right? Yep.

You might have been good in 1928 America where there was a non-stop talking competition. Only if I was good at Just a Minute. That's the only way that works. Well, you're not good at it. It's just impossible. Is it? Well, this one took four days. And after four days, there were still two people left and they just split the prize between them. And they hadn't hesitated, deviated or the other thing? Actually, they did repeat, which is the other thing, because repetition was allowed. One

person repeatedly recited Lady Macbeth's speech until they passed out. Wasn't Gilles Brannbeth was it? There was a person who said something so offensive that the person who ran the competition called the police and they had them arrested. In 1928 that's probably pretty offensive as well. And the winners were given to the last two people one of them was a swimming instructor who ran her own dance marathons And the other one was a man who previously made his name winning flagpole sitting competitions Amazing

Have you ever seen the what's my line with the intruder who comes on? I haven't seen it but I read about it. It's so surreal. So it was filmed live until the 60s, which I think was quite late for shows to be filmed live, so anything could happen. It's 1962 and the panel's blindfolded, as we've explained, and the celebrity guest comes on, it's this Greek actress.

And as they're asking her stuff, this man appears in a suit, a very well-dressed man, and he just walks on very calmly and he says, I'm the second mystery guest, guess who I am? And then he starts talking about a dating service that he runs and the host, what's he called? John Charles Daly. Daly. It's great, apparently he obviously had a code for it, because he just says into the microphone, We have a small problem. Gil, will you get the relieving unit in please? They wiped him off.

And he said, that's all I wanted. And then you left the stage. That's the grand prize this week. It was always gonna be that. Sorry, I had to blindfold you. Wow. And then he said, schedule two, which makes you really want to know

what schedule one and three were. And then you see men hurry past the camera. But the interesting thing was this guy was identified as someone called Ronald Melstein, who had a dating company he's trying to promote in this unusual way apparently. And he disappeared and then years later, this was in the 62, and then in 1987 there's this really dramatic police chase and one of the police cars runs into a tree, the detect to take into hospital another police car slips on an oil slick they catch up with the guy they're chasing who's running a prostitution ring and it

is Ronald Milstein. Oh at least they found out what his line was. May have taken 25 years. The greatest contestant we ever had. I've never heard. OK, that's it. That is everyone's facts. Thank you so much for listening. If you want to get in touch with anyone here today, you can get in touch with Andy on... I'm Andrew Hunter M on Twitter. And James. My Twitter is at James Harkin. Paul, is there anywhere people can get in touch with you?

Yes, on Amazon. On an advert for the book One Sinner Lifetime, amazon.co.uk. And you'll reply to every individual person who gets in touch on Amazon by buying your book won't you? Absolutely, every single one. Great, or you can get in touch with all of us as a group by going to Instagram at NoSuchThingAsAFish or on Twitter at NoSuchThing or email podcastatQI.com and of course you can also go to our website NoSuchThingAsAFi.com. And of course, you can also go to our website, no such thing as a fish.com and get tickets for our tour. We are so excited. We are kicking off within the next few weeks, in fact. So get there, get your tickets now.

And fitting that will be here again next week. We'll see you then. Goodbye. Goodbye!