No Such Thing As A Fish - 593: No Such Thing As A Barney The Dinosaur In Westminster Abbey

Episode Date: July 24, 2025

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Canadian contours, Dylan's demise, Singapore Slings and sunflower seeds. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.  Jo...in Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon Get an exclusive 15% discount on Saily data plans! Use code [fish] at checkout. Download Saily app or go to https://saily.com/fish

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi everybody, it's Andy and James here from No Such Thing As A Fish. Hi, your favourite two. Shh! But, yes. Now, we're here with a little Topper Show announcement because we've got some secret juicy gossip for you. We sure have, and that gossip is that we are going to be doing some live shows. You didn't hear it from us, but if you go to King's Place in London on the 5th and 6th
Starting point is 00:00:26 of September, you can see not one but two No Such Thing as Official Live shows. Dan and Anna will also be there for clarity. Anna will not be there for clarity. Yeah, sorry. Dan will be. And some very, very special guests. Now, we have already booked one of these special guests and I promise you, if I mentioned the name of that person right now, we would sell out in seconds. That's right. And if it does sell out, there are streaming tickets available too. You can watch the show live, see what it's like when we're not rigorously and scrupulously edited. Hear all the stuff we say that really should be edited out by getting a streaming ticket. And where do you get those tickets from, Andy?
Starting point is 00:01:04 I think if they just go to our website there'll be a link. NoSuchThingAsAFish.com Excellent. We'll do that right now, but in the meantime, it's time to say On with the podcast! On with the show! Hello and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing As A Fish, a weekly podcast coming to you from the QI offices in Hoburn. My name is Dan Schreiber, I am sitting here with James Harkin,
Starting point is 00:01:45 Andrew Hunter Murray, and Anna Tyshinsky. And once again, we have gathered around the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last seven days. And in no particular order, here we go. Starting with fact number one, and that is my fact. My fact this week is that before he was buried, the poet Dylan Thomas was used as a poker table. That doesn't feel very practical. No. The chips are gonna go everywhere. Yeah. And I imagine as a poet, you're wearing a lot of ruffles, maybe a cravat,
Starting point is 00:02:15 you know, you're not gonna be a smooth table. No. Okay, so it's not his body that was physically used as the poker table. Dylan Thomas, as a bit of backstory, had been in America and he died on the 9th of November 1953. Let's get right to the chase. Was he born before he died? I need to know all the context, Dan. So yeah, it's really unfortunate. He was 39 years old. He was a big drinker. There's a bit of mystery about what actually caused his death, but there we have it. The facts. He dies November 1953. His wife, Caitlin,
Starting point is 00:02:46 decides she doesn't want him to be buried in America. She wants to bring him back home to Wales, his home country. And so she puts him on a ship and he's in the hold and one night she's a bit disruptive upstairs and she gets sent downstairs and it just so happens that she's bunking up very near to his coffin and she notices that all the sailors gather around the coffin and use it as the poker table. And she thought, he would have loved this. Yeah. So was it not obviously a coffin? I think it might have been. They might not have cared.
Starting point is 00:03:15 That's quite macabre. I would have tried to find another table, or just a packing crate or something. Would you? I would have gone out my way to find the coffin. If you had a coffin on board. I genuinely think when I go, if I could organise it that my mates had a poker game on my coffin and they didn't mind, then I'd be down for that. It would be more golf for you though, wouldn't it? That's hard to play in a coffin. Right.
Starting point is 00:03:37 You could be the last hole. The 19th hole. I'm hoping that I'm laid down face up actually. Apparently, like you said, there was some ruckus with Caitlin. I read that she was in a cabin with, and I quote, some sort of glamour queen that she really didn't like, and so she deliberately caused a ruckus so that she would get kicked out of that cabin. Yeah. Yeah, having now read up about Caitlin, I wonder if that's true or if she was just generally
Starting point is 00:04:09 causing ruckus. Because that was the thing about them. They were sort of described as the prototype Sid and Nancy of the Sex Pistols. They were a couple that were destructive. They'd get huge fights. They would get drunk everywhere they went. But what's crazy is that when Caitlin got back back she went on a pub crawl with the person who picked her up and Dylan was just left in the car park in the coffin while they were getting pissed along the way in all the pubs towards
Starting point is 00:04:33 where his home was going to be. Yeah. Did you find the claim that he was buried in a banana shaped grave? No. No. Okay, so we should say also most famous Welsh poet arguably I'd say ever. For me he is. I mean he's up these Bard territory. If someone asked me name a Welsh poet he would be the one. Exactly. Yeah exactly. And he certainly was Bard from most of his local pubs. Well there is a claim I read that the gravedigger was Defan Mute and he only knew that he was burying a man
Starting point is 00:05:05 whose favorite fruit was the banana. So in tribute, he originally dug a banana-shaped grave before being told off and told the correct answer. Now I just think if you're a professional gravedigger, you know that you very rarely get a banana-shaped coffin. Yeah. Do we know that his favorite fruit was banana? Do you know the original thing is so untrue that I haven't even I thought deaf and mute sounds like a Welsh name. I thought that was the name. So his death, Dan, you said that there was some weird things about that. Yeah, there was the idea that he drank so much that the night before he went into a coma, which then led to him going to hospital and eventually dying, he claimed to have drunk 18 whiskies.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Also the line, say the line. Supposedly his last words were, I've just drunk 18 straight whiskies, I think that's a record or something like that. That's a great line. Yeah. But that's not true, is it? He definitely said things after that. I think he did say that actually in fairness
Starting point is 00:06:06 But it was the day before and then the next day he did talk to people and said different things So go for a banana right now So it was the doctor's fault right so yeah So he was sedated with some morphine and he went into a coma and he had pneumonia which hadn't been diagnosed That was the problem with the morphine, then he went into a coma. And he had pneumonia which hadn't been diagnosed and that was the problem with the morphine. But this is the interesting thing. I think it's actually Dylan Thomas' fault because he did make that joke about having had all these whiskies, right? And then I believe his friend who'd overheard that, when he was really ill, said to the doctor, oh well he
Starting point is 00:06:37 told me yesterday he'd had 18 straight whiskies. So the doctor very naturally assumes alcohol poisoning and then gives him the morphine which which puts him into the coma, which kills him. So actually Dylan Thomas died of his own joke, as well as medical misdiagnosis and all of that. But basically it's because his friend said, oh yeah, well this is what he was saying. Well it's possible he wasn't joking though, because they went and interviewed the bartender who was serving drinks at night and he said he didn't drink 18, absolutely not. But someone pointed out that a shot in America versus a shot back home is three times the amount.
Starting point is 00:07:09 So they think in his incredibly drunken state, Dylan Thomas was doing math and worked out how many that would have been back home, which was 18. Oh. In fairness, the math was only three times six. But once you've had 18 whiskies. He actually wasn't good at taking his drink. He's got this reputation for being such a heavy drinker. But I think people who knew him said actually he was kind of a lightweight. So maybe he just seemed pissed a lot. He had a famous sort of relationship slash, what's an enemy ship?
Starting point is 00:07:39 Frenemy? He was sort of a frenemy, but without the fribbit with Kingsley Amis, who only met him once, but used to write really awful things about his poetry. And Amis met him in 1951 and he said he was an outstandingly unpleasant man who cheated and stole from his friends and peed on their carpets. And he boozed a lot because it fitted his image as a poet rather than out of any thirst or need. I think people, quite a lot of people didn't really like him very much, even his friends. No, it's a shame if you like his poetry to read up on him because it makes him quite unlikable, doesn't it?
Starting point is 00:08:11 I think he considered himself to be a poet, which meant he didn't need to get a proper job. He could just sort of dilettantishly turn up at people's houses and sleep on their sofas and urinate on their carpets, perhaps, I don't know. But yeah, like one of his really good friends, Norman Cameron, he wrote, who invited him in? What was he doing here? That insolent little ruffian, that crapulous lout. When he quitted a sofa, he left behind a smear. Oh dear. If that's what his friends thought of him, what of his enemies? Right. But his fans kind of loved it, right? They loved this image of a drunken poet who was living up to that romantic idea that they're sitting in a shed with a glass of whiskey,
Starting point is 00:08:51 writing these incredible lines. And in his final eight years, you know, he died 39, as I said, final eight years, he wrote six poems. He spent basically the last period of his life going on tours and talking and reading out his poems. He became an orator as opposed to a writer. And people would go because it was quite rock and roll. Is Dylan Thomas going to swear at someone in the crowd? Is he going to drunkenly fall off the stage and pass out? Is he going to leave a smear on the sofa? The curtain comes up, that's a sofa on the stage!
Starting point is 00:09:20 Get it Dylan! But he was kind of, you know, people were into that. I think he was less hard living in lots of ways. So he lived for a while in a place called Laan and the Thomas family GP, the doctor, wrote he didn't do any womanizing, he was pretty sober, he was very respectful, he started the day by helping his dad with the Times crossword every morning. Apparently his capacity for drink, I'm quoting now, was very limited compared with the average hearty. He couldn't drink very much. Three or four pints was his absolute limit.
Starting point is 00:09:52 But then, of his wife Caitlin, the doctor wrote, Caitlin is a nymphomaniac and a first-class bitch. J- Was that a medical diagnosis back then? C- I don't know. J- She does seem a tough character But I really didn't know the thing I found most unbelievable about him is you say that he only wrote six firms or whatever in His last seven years really he wrote all of his best poetry pretty much everyone agrees by the time he was 19 Hmm, isn't that insane? I was a child when I was 19
Starting point is 00:10:19 I saw you're thinking such immature stuff and he and that's why it's kind of nonsense I used to love him when I was a teenager because I thought well this must mean something amazing but it was really heartening to read all of these reviewers write about him and say the word's beautiful which is what's so fun about reading him but no one knows what he's on about. Because we're calling him a poet but he also wrote some pretty seminal other pieces like he wrote Under Milkwood which was a play which is still sort of I did it at school
Starting point is 00:10:46 Did you really? Yeah yeah yeah Lots of people do don't they Who did you play? Sorry no as in for my GCSE English I had to learn it Okay right yeah You played a tree admit it you're one of the trees But there's a lot of milk under me
Starting point is 00:11:04 You guys know AJP Taylor? I only know the name as well. He was a really famous 20th century historian. Like mega famous at a time when historians were rock stars. Anyway, Dylan Thomas befriended his wife, Margaret, and... Euphemism? Well, she definitely had the hots for him, and Dylan Thomas went to stay on the sofa and did a lot of, like, he would stay for a month.
Starting point is 00:11:32 And AJP Taylor liked to keep a barrel of beer in the house, that was just his nice thing. But he hated having Dylan Thomas to stay because he would drink supposedly 15 pints a day, and he'd constantly have to be replacing his barrel. And Taylor's wife, Margaret, fell absolutely besotted with Dylan Thomas. She spent all her money on him. She wrote him erotic letters. She persuaded AJP Taylor to buy a house for £2,000 for Dylan Thomas. And Taylor said, okay, fine, if you stop giving him money, which she did not. And then she bought him another house. I mean, he does sound like a really annoying guy to have to stay.
Starting point is 00:12:06 I read one anecdote about him. He went out drinking with novelist Philip Lindsay and got his penis stuck in a honey pot. Yes. It's the penis. Winnie the Pooh tape. Great thing about this, this is in Andrew Lysett's biography
Starting point is 00:12:22 and it's kind of mostly there and not really anywhere else, but it was from people who were there who said it happened, but no one knows why he did that No, was it a honey trap? They said on the same occasion he pushed a shirt button up his nose and couldn't get it out You go into the A&E and you're like, yeah, it's this button Can you get the button thing out, please? Sir, there appears it's this button thing. Can you get the button thing out please? Sir, there appears to be something. No, no, just the button.
Starting point is 00:12:48 I actually, having just said Winnie the Pooh, I only know Winnie the Pooh sized honeypots. Do they come smaller? Wait, does Winnie the Pooh have massive honeypots? Yeah, his head gets stuck in them. Oh yeah, maybe, well, maybe Dylan Thomas was very well endowed and that's what kept the women following him. But the shape of a honeypot is,
Starting point is 00:13:02 it expands as it gets towards the base, as it were. It's not like a honey jar. I could understand him getting his penis stuck in a honey jar. I was imagining a honey jar. It's a set honey, a runny honey. You know when you go to a travel lodge and you get those tiny little jars of honey. We're going to have to ask you to leave the breakfast buffet. Everyone's got their own sized honey pot. Yeah, it's full of tantalizing details that
Starting point is 00:13:29 biography. It's amazing because he's spoken to everyone who ever knew him, but people just give memories without elaboration. So there's those two. There's on one occasion, he managed to stab himself in the eye while eating a plate of meatballs. No, no further details. How do you do that? How do you do that? And then someone else said, there was a particular period where he had to deal with his rubber fetishism. No more on it. That's it. What is it? That's all we got. Wow. What did he do with rubber? Now he's, he is a very important poet. He is part of the poet's corner in Westminster Abbey, which is reserved for some of the greats. It's Shakespeare and so on. He originally
Starting point is 00:14:03 wasn't in there. And it all comes down to Jimmy Carter, President Jimmy Carter, who lobbied for him to be in there. Why? He loves him to the point where he went to certain bits of Wales just to be around the area that Dylan Thomas would have been in. Good Lord. Even wrote a poem called A President Expresses Concern on a Visit to Westminster Abbey by Jimmy Cartons. No way! Yeah. Yeah. That makes me like Dylan Thomas again,
Starting point is 00:14:27 having just gone off him. Jimmy Carter liked him. Cause you're a massive Carter fan, yeah. Yeah. What a weird presidential election. Is that what happens on state visits? Maybe if he campaigned a bit harder to get himself re-elected.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Exactly. Well, it happened in 82, so maybe he worked on it post presidency, but it was on that trip that he said, what is old Thomas? I can imagine Donald Trump at the moment is trying to get Barney the big purple dinosaur in Westminster Abbey. We'll do it, we'll do it.
Starting point is 00:14:51 Lan, this place where he lived, his local pub was a place called Brown's Hotel. It was bought recently by guess who? The board makers. Okay, give us a clue. What, the TV show? Why in a two runny skirt? No, what was Dylan Thomas? He was a man behaving badly.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Oh, is it Martin Clunes? It was Neil Morrissey. The other man behaving badly bought his local. Really? And Dylan Thomas was a man behaving badly. And Neil Morrissey for international listeners was about 30 years ago in a sitcom called Men Behaving Badly. Yeah, that's a great fact. Stop the podcast. Stop the podcast! Stop the podcast!
Starting point is 00:15:47 How do you want me to let you know that this week we're sponsored by Salie? Yes, that's right. Now, James, have you ever been abroad? No. Well, if you ever consider going abroad, you might like to try Salie. No, of course I go abroad very regularly. Embarrassingly regularly, actually, to stupidly named places around the world.
Starting point is 00:16:07 But when I go there, I always need data, but it's very difficult to get the right data plan. That's absolutely right. This is where Salie comes in. Salie is an e-sim. You install it once on your phone. It provides an internet connection wherever you travel. It saves you money on roaming fees.
Starting point is 00:16:22 I have lived the pain and misery of trying to not use my phone at all or like use it for half a second then oh quick turn everything off turn everything off. Salie would avoid me all of these problems. And you too can avoid those problems by getting Salie yourself. So download the Salie app now or go to salie.com slash fish and if you do that you get an exclusive 15% discount on saily data plans. That's right it's terrific it's affordable it's global or regional you can pick whichever plan or countries you want to do you save time avoid scams stay connected as James says saily.com slash fish save 15% Okay on with the podcast. On with the show!
Starting point is 00:17:01 On with the podcast. On with the show. Okay, it is time for fact number two and that is Andy. My fact is that six out of ten lakes are in Canada. That's amazing. Out of all the lakes in the world, 60% are in Canada. It's big, Canada. It is big, but it's not 60% of the world's landmass. It's a disproportionate number of lakes.
Starting point is 00:17:27 So if you wake up after a big old Dylan Thomas style bender and you look and there's a lake there, you're more likely than not in Canada. That's right. That's right. Do we know how many and why? We do. 900,000 and geology is the short... No further questions. No, I got this on a great sub-stack by a guy called Thomas Pueyo. And basically, at the bottom you've got the Great Lakes, sort of celebrity lakes. And then there's this line
Starting point is 00:17:57 stretching across the country above which it's just monstrously full of lakes, just lakes everywhere, like throw a brick. And it's because there's a region near the coast further up, near the coastal mountains, which is lower because the mountains kind of depress the land around them with their landmass, didn't know mountains did that. And everywhere else in the world, or most other places, these depressions, they turn into river valleys, water flows along them, right? But Canada is very far north, so it rains less, so there's less water, and it's also to do with the ice sheets that dug these huge holes in the ground, and that leads to lakes when the ice retreats.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Do you know what I mean? You've got basically lake-shaped masses everywhere. Yeah, that was the Laurentide ice sheet, wasn't it? That also formed Niagara Falls and the Great Lakes. So it was a biggie. And it might also have given us Noah's Ark. So apparently the collapse of the ice sheet caused the flooding of the Gibraltar, Straits of Gibraltar, loads of water going into the Mediterranean Sea, huge floods everywhere about 8,000 years ago and maybe all the myths that we have about floods in all different cultures have flood myths, maybe due to that collapse. Love it.
Starting point is 00:19:10 That's amazing. It's crazy. So 900,000 lakes in Canada, you're saying Andy. Manitoba is an area that has a hundred thousand of those lakes and only 10,000 of those lakes have been named as of 2017. The number will have gone up, but they're trying to give names to every single lake that's out there. Can we campaign? Well, here's the thing to what have a lake named after us. Yeah. Doesn't work like that.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Fish Lake? Well, this is a problem that there's not a big group that names the lakes. There's one main guy and then he's got a few assistants. What? Yeah. Well, that's why they haven't gone around to naming them all yet. It's been very slow. He'll name like seven a year and that's-
Starting point is 00:19:51 What? But that's gone up now with the assistants. That's nearly as slow as Dylan Thomas writing poetry. Is this guy just going around doing rock star shows and saying, I name lakes? Exactly. The thing he says is he gets a lot of calls on Valentine's Day with people saying, can I in a romantic gesture name this lake after my partner or girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever? And he says no it doesn't work like that. Is he stressed that all these lakes don't have names or is he relaxed about it?
Starting point is 00:20:14 He's relaxed. He's taking his time. What they're doing is basically naming it after fallen soldiers from World War Two and World War One And it's important work because if you happen to have an accident at a lake how do you find it if there's no name? Dan if it's important work maybe he should be trying to name more than seven every year. He has there was one year where they named two thousand like it's oh because he got assistance in assistance gaming. I guess can't be choosers I think if I say can you name your lake Polina he shouldn't be saying no I have to do it after this other thing instead I think he should be accepting these names because he needs 20,000 of them.
Starting point is 00:20:47 He needs a lot of, he needs a lot. And in fact, there's only been one exception so far, one living person when an Olympic gold medalist in hockey was given a lake name, he sort of got put ahead of all the fallen soldiers. That'll do anything for hockey players, the Canadians, won't they? I think he needs to be sacked. Sorry. Do you know what the most common lake name in the United States of America is? Oh, is it is it guessable? Maybe. Is it big lake or deep lake? No, but you're getting there. Lake. That's the closest. It's Mud Lake.
Starting point is 00:21:27 There are 900 Mud Lakes in America, but they're endangered really because they're all getting renamed. So Michigan, for instance, had 300 Mud Lakes, but 71 of them have been changed in the last few years. Why are they changing them? Is it not politically correct? Well, one reason that you want to like Mud lake isn't very nice, but number two, like Dan said, you need to be able to tell exactly where something is. So if you've got 700 mud lakes and you say, I've injured myself next to mud lake, what are they going to do? Yeah, you're right. There are
Starting point is 00:21:59 reports and again, this is at the level of Dylan Thomas was buried in a banana shape. reports, and again, this is at the level of Dylan Thomas was buried in a banana shape. Well, there's a lake in Canada called Lake Minnewanker, but that is true. Some reports say it's the smallest lake in Canada, and it appears not to be. I think there are some smaller, but it is home to a drowned village, which is called Minnewanker Landing. Cool. Was it named after someone who drove a mini it was when Tom Cruise lands his plane That's why he radios into the control tower All this depends on how you define a lake right? Yeah, because there's a thing called Lagos LA GOS
Starting point is 00:22:37 Which is like a research. It's like the Wikipedia of lakes Where you go to if you want to know anything about lakes in North America? of lakes where you go to if you want to know anything about lakes in North America but they define a lake as something that is one hectare in area surface area so that's about two football fields but if you look to count lakes that are like one hectare so half that size then the number of lakes in Canada goes up to 3.5 million oh my goodness that's getting stupid that guy the naming office is gonna to be probably still relaxed. We've got time.
Starting point is 00:23:08 And the other scientific definition of a lake is it needs to have an aphotic zone. So that's an area deep enough where plants can't grow because they don't get enough light. Oh really? That's supposed to be the level between a pond and a lake. There's interestingly on the definition of a lake, there's also the bigness of lakes. So Lake Superior, one of the great lakes and the great lakes are all shared
Starting point is 00:23:29 between the US and Canada, except one Lake Michigan. Lake Superior is the largest lake on earth, but only if you don't count the Caspian Sea, which is about five times bigger. And it's really interesting the Caspian Sea controversy because Caspian Sea is technically a lake, I believe, as in it's not connected to the sea, but it has higher salinity than almost any other lake.
Starting point is 00:23:53 So it's a huge political debate between Azerbaijan, Iran, Kazakhstan, Russia, Turkmenistan, which all border this lake slash sea. Cause if it's a lake, you split it equally. So that's why all the great lakes are split equally between US and Canada and it's hugely important because it's got massive natural resources It's got loads and loads of oil deposits in it and mineral deposits And so Iran which has a very short coast on the Caspian is saying no
Starting point is 00:24:18 It's definitely a lake definitely a lake because I want to split it equally with the rest of you Whereas if it's the seashore you own a distance away from the seashore. Depending on your length of coastline. Exactly. So then, you know, Russia's saying, or Kazakhstan, which has a huge coastline, are saying this is bullshit. You can't take a fifth of the oil in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So which side do you fall on? And when would we get a resolution to? No, no. Honestly, Dan, I think they got a few other things to iron out in that region.
Starting point is 00:24:48 They haven't! There was a massive meeting in 2018 called the Convention on the Legal Status of the Caspian Sea, where all the countries met, and they were there for weeks and they concluded it's neither a lake nor a sea. Oh, great. It's a pond! Here's a lake. This is also in the United States of America, it's called Crater Lake, and the Kalmath people who live around it haven't looked at it for more than 7000 years. No. How close do they live?
Starting point is 00:25:18 They don't know. Do they fall in? No, they don't fall in. So it's basically, it's a taboo. And it's, we think down to an eruption that happened 7,700 years ago. And then they preserved these stories of this myth that's happened. And that would be 300 generations of word of mouth have kept this story going. Don't look at the lake. They still don't look at the lake
Starting point is 00:25:45 Yeah, what if you accidentally look at the lake another eruption probably? Someone must have no one's done it. We don't know Well, we'd know we would know we would know yeah, yeah Wow, that's crazy Some lakes swing from side to side They are they're cool banana lakes. No they're not. This is amazing though, there are these things called sashes and the most famous one is in Lake Erie which is one of the Great Lakes. But basically it happens if there's a really strong wind that's going in one direction on a lake and it keeps pushing the water up
Starting point is 00:26:19 to one end and then the wind suddenly stops, then the water, you can imagine like in a bath, swings backwards and it does extraordinary things like in 2008 there were 16 feet high waves in Lake Erie that flooded, it's Buffalo I think in New York that always gets flooded, in 1844 there was a 22 foot high Seiche wave which caused this flood in Buffalo which destroyed the town completely just from this swinging Lake crazy 78 people died it stopped the Niagara Falls from flowing because it dammed it up because like the force of all the water pushed the ice at the top of Niagara Falls and stopped it flowing what just from this swinging Lake isn't that cool it's very cool not the deaths
Starting point is 00:27:01 but yeah the other stuff there's a long time ago. Okay. Yeah. Canada is so big that the southernmost point of Canada is closer to Brazil than it is to the northernmost point of Canada. I don't believe you. Well. Okay. You've got to.
Starting point is 00:27:16 Okay. Maths. How do we resolve this then? We need a conference. I mean, yeah, only because I've seen maps. I mean, that's bonkers. It's about it's not much in it. It's about 10 kilometres in it. But it's 10 kilometres in it. Yeah. So southernmost point of Canada to northernmost point of Canada is 4620 kilometres. Right. So Brazil from the southernmost point of Canada, it's 4,630.
Starting point is 00:27:46 That's like how my house in Margate is closer to Belgium than it is to London. Yeah. That's wild. And it takes you hours and hours and hours to get here every day. I should stop going via Belgium. Okay, it is time for fact number three and that is James. Okay, my fact this week is that at one Spanish football stadium, they will stop you from eating sunflower seeds, but they won't stop you from smoking. That is so weird.
Starting point is 00:28:20 Is it? Are you allowed to smoke sunflower seeds? Life hack. Oh, good thinking. Yeah. Yeah. Roll up. Actually, you're not really supposed to smoke, but they don't enforce that ban. OK. But they are enforcing that ban on sunflower seeds. And that's because if you go to Spanish football games, you will often bring sunflower seeds with you as a snack. They're called pipas.
Starting point is 00:28:46 And this team called Elche has decided to ban them because people keep, you kind of, you crack them open and eat the seeds inside and then you throw the shells away and the shells they clog the drains, they clog the pipes, they rot and deteriorate the seats. The pigeons come, rats come, and they're having to basically redo the entire stadium. And part of the reason is because these sunflower seeds are just all over the place and they're rotting and they're making everything minging.
Starting point is 00:29:15 Yeah, there's too many for them to clean up. So as you arrive, you're just cracking shells underneath your foot, going to your seats. It's pretty amazing, such a tiny thing causing such chaos. This was in the Times I read this and one of the fans said, this is the best thing they could have done. Now they just have to enforce the ban on smoking.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Yeah, yeah. Is it Spain wide that these things are enjoyed? It's common throughout Spain, yeah. Really interesting, because it's quite a hippie-ish, quite healthy thing, I imagine. Like, oh, I'm just eating some salt fasties. This is a really salty. Oh, okay, they're very salty. This is healthy thing, I imagine. Like, oh, I'm just eating some sunflower seeds. This is a really salty. Oh, okay. They're very salty.
Starting point is 00:29:46 They're very salty. This is the thing that I discovered. It's this whole global culture that we do not have in Britain of sunflower seeds being such a popular snack. And there are all these countries. So Spain is one of them where they're really popular. Across Eastern Europe, Eastern European listeners, write in, confirm how many sunflower seeds you eat a day. China, the Middle East, Russia. They're like this big deal snack. And so I think in China you have them in the shells and it's this great meditative experience. The one girl was saying that you put it in your mouth, you have to get the sunflower seed out of the shell.
Starting point is 00:30:17 You kind of don't want your teeth in it. So the little grey thing that I get when I buy a pack of the sunflower seeds is not a sunflower seed. It's actually, that's the kernel. Yeah, it's the kernel. A de-hulled kernel. Whereas people here are eating the naked seeds, which are the black and white striped. Yes. They're bigger.
Starting point is 00:30:33 That are inside, yeah. That is a sunflower seed. Yeah. And it's pretty amazing. I went to the National Gallery the other day to look specifically at Van Gogh's sunflowers, right? And... There's research for this fact. No, it's completely separate. I was just, I thought, God, it's around the corner.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Why have I not been there? And I went and stood and just stared, and each flower, there's 11 flowers, they contain about 2,000, between one and 2,000 seeds. That would have been edible, you know, what was in the pot. I find that fascinating. I've never thought about it in that way before.
Starting point is 00:31:02 No, me neither. If you're really hungry and you've got a sunflower growing in your kitchen, scrape off the off the top. If it's reached ripeness, you can get some season out. There's like a TikTok trend at the moment where people are like roasting entire sunflower heads and eating them. Oh, really? I mean, it's just classic TikTok. That doesn't seem to. Everyone's a food expert until you actually try what you're eating and then it's disgusting.
Starting point is 00:31:23 Well, people do seem to rave about them. And I was reading in China the way they harvest them is really cool. So people go through with their machetes or massive pairs of scissors and they chop the heads off all the... Yeah, all nail scissors, whatever you've got. Like you're opening a department store. Yeah, exactly. A lot of ribbons to cut. They chop the heads off each individual sunflower, but then they pick up the heads, they spin them upside down,
Starting point is 00:31:46 and they plonk them back on top of the stalk, and they leave them there for another week to dry. And that's because it saves having to dry them in a certain space. So you'll sometimes go to a big sunflower field in China and be like, all the flowers are upside down. Yeah. They've all been decapitated.
Starting point is 00:32:01 They've all been decapitated and had their heads put on upside down. Who did this? That's amazing. Psycho. So I should just say Elche, by the way, the football team, they're from Alicante. They were promoted to La Liga last season and I read as much as I could about them. There's not a great deal of interesting stuff apart from the kit man.
Starting point is 00:32:20 The head kit man is called Pepito, whose name is Spanish for pumpkin seed. Lovely. It's not quite right, is it? No. You haven't quite got that on the list. Almost got it. I saw his name and I was like, that really looks like it means sunflower seed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Unfortunately, no, pipas is the sunflower seed, which also means blow jobs in Greek. Golly. Cool. Well, that won't, surely that won't have led to any confusion. A load of Spanish football fans turn up at the fanacos. You've got to crack it open with your teeth. They are known these seeds as Spain's football foreplay. I don't know if you came across that phrase. But what is Britain's football foreplay? Pies.
Starting point is 00:33:06 Who's good at football? Pies. Who's a nice pie. As in, that's just foreplay in general, isn't it? A nice steak and kidney pie. Scotch pies, they're called. What is a Scotch pie? Scotch pie is probably if you go to football in the south of England, you don't really
Starting point is 00:33:19 get this stuff. But certainly in the north of England, they're kind of made of pastry like water pastry and they usually have mutton in them lots of potato not so much meat absolutely delicious yeah yum and they were supposedly despised by the Scottish church because they were considered a sumptuous meal and very similar to English pies and so the Scottish church tried to ban scotch pies for a while but they never managed. I would say keep your beaks out, guys. I just think that's not their jurisdiction to...
Starting point is 00:33:51 The Church tends to get involved in lots of different things, doesn't it? What does it mean? Historically, especially the Scottish Church. I just think that's a bit like Jimmy Carter getting involved in Dylan Thomas's posthumous reputation. I just think, come on, prioritize. Not your area. You've got Kir perks to run. Actually, it was because of the church, I think, that sunflower seeds came to be.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Well, they did, unless you're saying that God made them. Exactly. Sorry, yeah, that we started eating sunflower seeds because, so they were huge in Russia first. Russia was like a hundred years ahead of the rest of us, mainly in terms of turning them into oil, which is where it's so valuable. And it was basically because during any kind of fast Christian fasting or lent or anything like that in Russia, then any kind of vegetable oils were banned.
Starting point is 00:34:37 And then Peter the Great or his minions have discovered that you could get oil from sunflower seeds. It was Peter the Great when he, you know, he did his European tour. He brought them back to me. He saw them in like the Netherlands or something and brought them back. He did yes and then some peasant in Russia in the 19th century just working in the fields peasant built a machine to get oil out of them and because they were new oil the church hadn't managed to
Starting point is 00:35:00 create in its list the name sunflower oil. And so everyone just drenched their food with sunflower oil during Lent. That's why it was so popular. And now Ukraine and Russia is by far the biggest producers of sunflower oil in the world, like by a billion. I've heard that. It's like more than half the global production is them. That's why Ukraine like the sunflower
Starting point is 00:35:19 is a symbol of Ukraine. I see, I didn't know that. It was used as well for mopping up basically a lot of the radioactive waste during the Chernobyl disaster. Was it? Yeah, so the stems, they noticed that when they put them into bodies of water that it would take up a lot of the radioactive elements and then they could bring it away and then
Starting point is 00:35:36 they could discard it in a better way. But so sunflowers are planted largely around nuclear radioactive areas in Chernobyl. Those sunflowers are use. Yeah, yeah. Famous pop culture person who eats sunflower seeds. Okay. Cardi B. Yeah. Good shot.
Starting point is 00:35:53 Someone that you guys have, a character that you guys will be familiar with. Can you give us a clue? I'll like Snoopy. A fictional character? Yeah, 1990s. 1990s fictional character. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Very good, no. Dennis 1990s, fictional character.
Starting point is 00:36:05 The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Very good, no. Dennis the Menace. No. Oh yeah, cartoon or real? Real. Zack from Saved by the Bell? No, that was it though.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Blobby, Blobby. British or American? American. Okay. Okay, no, I'm gonna get down. What are The Simpsons? No, well one of the biggest shows of the 1990s. Friends.
Starting point is 00:36:24 People are yelling this at home, not friends. Something that Dan would like due to his other podcast. A weird, a cryptid-y thing is... What's that? Um, what... Come on guys, the truth is out there. Oh, the... The X-Files.
Starting point is 00:36:37 Fox Mulder loved Sunflower Seed? Fox Mulder hates Sunflower Seeds all the way through it. And he had to stop in the later series because according to him It's hard to act with sunflower seeds Yeah, but it was the creator Chris Carter who would eat sunflower seeds and he kind of passed it onto the character But David Duchovny who played Mulder wants people to know that he doesn't like sunflower seeds and he also does not wear ties So fans are discouraged from sending him either. Poor guys with balls and eat sunflower seeds constantly.
Starting point is 00:37:11 And wear lots of ties as well. Poor guy. I mentioned Van Gogh earlier, there's another very famous art piece which is called Sunflower Seeds. Do you remember that? Ai Wei Wei. Ai Wei Wei, 2011. So this is extraordinary
Starting point is 00:37:33 He handcrafted porcelain sunflower seeds with his team. There's a thousand six hundred people and they made a hundred Million of them it feels like he's the guy to solve the Canadian Lake naming Bang through that. Yeah, he's one thousand six hundred people I'm sure you know, it's making a very important political point and stuff like that. But it's a long time to be making tiny ceramic seeds. Oh, I see you're thinking it's a bit of a waste of time. I mean, being a podcaster is a waste of time. I'm fully accept that. I just think we've made 100 million identical episodes of this show. But it has been useful, I would say. Yes, what's the point?
Starting point is 00:38:06 They weren't identical, were they? They were slightly, I remember this. Oh, because they were handcrafted. They were handcrafted. Oh, I thought you meant the episodes of the show. Which, yes, no, I remember the slight differences. Well, they were first displayed at the Turbine Hall at the Tate. And if you've ever been there, you know what that's like.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Yeah, it's where you get these huge exhibits that are really famous every year. I went to that one, actually. Did you get to walk on the seeds? No, I didn't. You can walk around on them. So to begin with, and it raised up about 10 centimetres off the ground. That's how many seeds were at the height that it reached to. Only 10 centimetres?
Starting point is 00:38:37 Well, it's a big, huge hole. It's a massive hole. Put it in a small room, have them up to your neck. That's what I would have done. Good idea. That's exciting. Now, that's odd. So was the point he's making is that we're all different? No, the point he was making, I believe, was a lot of different points like much art, but I think a lot of it. And this is why the trampling was so important. And I remember being so
Starting point is 00:38:57 disappointed is about the oppression and repression of the Chinese state and all these people, these billions of people in China being treated just like one random identical sunflower to another. Don't have your own. And I think Chairman Mao used to say that the people of China were sunflower seeds. And his idea is like, if you get all of these hundred million seeds together, then they make something very big and important, but by themselves, they're kind of. Oh, yeah, that's a different interpretation. There you go. I don't know. Like you, I went and was slightly disappointed that I wasn't allowed to walk on them.
Starting point is 00:39:32 And you weren't allowed, to begin with, you were allowed to walk on them and then health and safety because they thought little microdust was coming through from all the crunching. But it worked out that the equivalent sunflower seeds that he made that Van Gogh would have to paint would be 50,000 flowers. Because it's about 2,000 seeds per head, right? I think that math's right. I was 18 whiskies deep by the time I did that.
Starting point is 00:39:55 That's doable. Baseball players also love sunflower seeds, apparently, in the USA. There is this question of why baseball players are constantly chewing. Because they if you look at them in the dugout they're always eating so there's one big theory is that the game is boring my daughter when she gets bored she always asks can I have a snack right that's the theory is that's what they're doing you know they're sporting guys they will burn it off but basically it's a dull game to watch and to participate in I really like lots of sports but I do find it difficult to sit
Starting point is 00:40:26 in a stadium through an entire baseball game. Right, there we go. I think there really is a divide in the world, which no other sport has, between people who understand why baseball is appealing and are obsessed with it, and friends obsessed, and the rest of us who think, oh? But it sounds like all the players are on our side. Well, they... They know from the inside. But they used to chew tobacco.
Starting point is 00:40:49 That's another theory why they might chew sunflower seeds now because you don't chew tobacco anymore. But chewing tobacco could give them some buzz. And they had another big advantage. When baseball players chew tobacco, they could slobber their juice onto the ball. Interesting. And Philip Thomas used to slather his juice on the surface, didn't he? If you slobbered on the ball, it would become darker and that would be harder for the batter to see.
Starting point is 00:41:15 So it's a tricky, sneaky way of making a camouflage ball. I understand it's against the rules to do that. The rule was changed in 1920 to disallow ballie facing. That was what it was defined as. So maybe that's another reason for the rise of the sunflower seed apart from the unbearable tedious of watching this game. Okay speaking of tedious American sports. I mean I absolutely love American football but what snacks do you associate with American football? Weeners. Get your weeners. Hot dogs., that's the same as a weiner isn't it? So hot dogs, for me I would more have hot dogs at a baseball game probably. Candy gloss. Nachos. Yeah all these are good answers. Caviar? Caviar is correct from the Caspian Sea, the Belugas.
Starting point is 00:42:01 No it's I think for me it's chicken wings. Okay. If you're watching the Super Bowl, everyone in America basically eats chicken wings. Right. And this all came due to an accidental overorder by a company in Buffalo. They accidentally ordered a load of chicken wings and they didn't know what to do with them and so they came up with a new recipe, which was buffalo wings. So you basically put chili sauce and butter together and it makes this sauce and they're absolutely delicious.
Starting point is 00:42:32 And this bar called Anchor Bay, they started making them. And then a little bit later, the Buffalo Bills NFL team made it to the Super Bowl for three years in a row. And everyone associated the Buffalo Bills team with Buffalo wings and suddenly chicken wings became like the food for the Super Bowl. So it's all a big mistake. It's a whole tantamount actually. But 1.6 billion chicken wings are eaten on Super Bowl Sunday every year.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Jesus. I think because Americans get some shit sometimes from the rest of the world about certain elements of their culture, but one of the greatest cultural things that exists in America, which I didn't really know that it was a thing, is tailgating. Tailgating? The tailgate. Driving very close to the person in front of you. That's the only thing I know.
Starting point is 00:43:17 That's all we know it as. But like basically any NFL match in the parking lot, then you'll have a tailgate party and there's hosts and I was asking my husband's lived in America and he was like, yeah, I mean, literally everyone does it every NFL match. I went I've been to a couple of NFL matches in America and I never got invited to this party. So sorry, you go to the car park. Yep.
Starting point is 00:43:41 And there are just people who are such big fans of the team that they cook up a massive feast. They've made like a hundred burgers and pizzas for everyone and loads of beers and just everyone has it. They have a big party, but kind of anyone's invited. So you go and it's called tailgating. Well, almost anyone. Don't rub it in on that. I was starving that day. Driving around a completely empty town, weren't you, James? How's everybody?
Starting point is 00:44:06 All the restaurants were closed. Okay, it is time for our final fact of the show and that is Anna. My fact this week is that Singaporeans drink more than a bottle of scotch per person per month, which is twice as much as their nearest rivals. Wow. How? What? Are they the children of Dylan Thomas?
Starting point is 00:44:33 I like the way you say rivals, like there's a big international competition and who can drink the most scotch. Per old Latvia coming second, desperately trying to catch up. Are they second Latvia? Latvia are second. Really? Yeah. A bottle of scotch per person per month.
Starting point is 00:44:48 Isn't that insane? That is a lot. Latvia has their own, what is it now? I have some at home. It's like schnapps-y stuff that Latvians drink. So and they have balsam as well. Balsam, yeah. So like they're spreading themselves too thin, the Latvians.
Starting point is 00:45:02 You're right. Give up the balsam and having tasted the b You're right. Give up the balsam. And having tasted the balsam, just give up the balsam. And then you'll win. Stick with whiskey. So a bottle per person per month. Or they buy a bottle of scotch per person per month. And I think that's an important distinction,
Starting point is 00:45:17 because I struggle to really find the reason. Because I've got a bottle of whiskey at home, and I've been working on it pretty solidly for a couple of years now. I've got past the of whiskey at home and I've been working on it pretty solidly for a couple of years now. I've got past the halfway mark. Is all this whiskey being drunk or is it that it's just being bought and stored? Well, it's not clear. So the stats are from the Scotch Whiskey Association, which says that they export 12.76 bottles
Starting point is 00:45:39 a year. They have all the export figures. In case you're wondering domestically, in case you're wondering domestically in case you're wondering the Scottish surely drink more 73 million bottles are sold domestically in the UK each year So even if every single UK bottle of whiskey was sold in Scotland They'd only just be drinking as much whiskey as the Singaporeans We know that Andy's having Working away on my famous grass, yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:06 I've still got a bottle of whiskey in my house that I bought on my honeymoon, which was 12 years ago. Really? Thank you! Is that for aging purposes? No, I only use it for whiskey sauce on Burns night once a year. Is it? It's not unbelievably delicious whiskey, is it, that you're wasting on? Talisker, it's pretty good. Oh really? Yeah. Okay well we're not contributing to the English stats obviously but it's weird. I was looking it up Singaporeans very light drinkers they consume two liters of alcohol per person per year which is about five times less than we do as Brits and it seems to be when I was looking at like people talking about it Singaporeans talking about, it is about investment and a lot of them are buying up whisky now. It's
Starting point is 00:46:48 become a trendy thing. It's a pretty wealthy country. There's a lot of expats as well. So lots of expats who will skew the number of people and what they drink. If I go as a tourist to Singapore, because I know it's a whisky hub, as in they've got lots of amazing whisky from around the world and whisky shops and things and I buy a bottle there. Does that count? Do you think a Judy Friesich? Yeah, I've never been except I think briefly to the airport once but it sounds like an amazing The airport is nice in fairness And again I didn't go specifically to
Starting point is 00:47:15 Just went into Changi, a couple of glasses of whiskey Straight back out I've had half a glass of whiskey today. I think that's a record. But it's an amazingly weird place. It's cool, I've been. Yeah. Yeah. I went a lot as a kid. It's right at the bottom of Malaysia.
Starting point is 00:47:37 And it's much like Portsmouth in that it's an island, but it's separated by a very narrow strip of water from the rest of the mainland, as it were. Portsmouth of the South. It were. Portsmouth of the South. It's the Portsmouth of the South. When you learn in Singapore, there's a big banner that says, much like Portsmouth. Welcome.
Starting point is 00:47:51 Here's another thing they drink there. Yakult. Oh yeah. So you know Yakult, that kind of little sort of yoghurt-y drink with probiotics in it. Singapore is the only country in the world that sells different flavors
Starting point is 00:48:05 of Yakult. Interesting. Now, so just a childhood thing, Yakult was massive in my childhood in Hong Kong, but I can't picture another flavor other than the basic. Well, honestly, they only do it in Singapore. They also have the biggest serving size of anywhere in the world, which is 100 milliliters. Now, you can get that one in Hong Kong as well. You can get that in a few countries, but you can't get it in the UK, but you can get it in Singapore. You mean of Spirits? No, sorry, of Yakult.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Yakult! Yakult is the only Yakult! It's like a novelty Toblerone, right? Like it's a... Yeah. And also in Singapore, this is the only place they have it, they have a Yakult home delivery service, which started in 1986, and they will bring your Yakult to your door, which started in 1986.
Starting point is 00:48:45 And they will bring your Yakult to your door if you want it. Jesus Christ. Their gut health must be out of this world. That is so strange. Isn't that weird? But it's because it's an island. It's got this kind of island culture, you know, where just things are popular there
Starting point is 00:49:00 that aren't popular anywhere else. Like they've got the world's first ever salmon ATM there. OK, yeah. It's a vending machine. In fact, there are dozens of vending machines specifically for Norwegian salmon. But the salmon always try and swim back into the vending machine. Yeah, it's bizarre. Norwegian salmon, there were 61 as of 2019, but it stays fresh in there for two years. Salmon? Because it's frozen. It's frozen.
Starting point is 00:49:25 Oh, okay. Oh, still. Okay. Singapore, when you go there, and this is again from the viewpoint of a kid, it's not particularly weird. It was a bit intimidating because of the rules. You were always told, can't chew gum there. That's illegal.
Starting point is 00:49:39 You will be lashed if you chew gum. I remember the tale of that. Don't litter. Yeah, I remember every time I would go there just being like, wow, it's so clean here. And yeah, there's a reason for that. I've just realized, because I remember thinking that as well, but maybe I misunderstood, because if they're all drinking so much scotch and they're all getting lashed every day, maybe that's what it meant all along.
Starting point is 00:50:00 Yeah, no, it is pretty wild. I was surprised actually that the number one imported drink isn't gin That's just because simply of the Singapore sling. Yeah, the most famous Drink to have the name Singapore in front of it There are no others, so yeah, but the that's that is a massive drink there It was invented in raffles the hotel which is an extraordinary hotel I don't know if you've ever seen pictures of it. Oh, you've been to raffles I've had a Singapore sling there. Have you so yeah, they say they at the bar which is called the long bar
Starting point is 00:50:30 They say that about two thousand Singapore slings are made per day I gotta say I ordered one had a sip and then ordered a beer Yeah, it was basically invented by one of the bar staff there because women were not really allowed to drink publicly. And so you make this with pineapple and lime and you put the gin in, but it looks like they're just having a nice fresh juice. And so that's kind of how it kicked off. James, when you went to that bar, did you notice as you walked that your feet were crunching
Starting point is 00:51:00 everywhere on shells? Sunflower seed shells? No. I don't recall that. I don't remember it very well, to be honest, because it was quite a lot of years ago. that your feet were crunching everywhere on shells. Sunflower seed shells? No. I don't recall that. I don't remember it very well, to be honest, because it was quite a lot of years ago, but no, I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:51:10 I remember it being very colonial. Right. So they have peanuts there that they give to you in bags, but they don't give you a plate to put the shells on, because it is tradition to throw them on the floor immediately after you've eaten them. Oh, really? At the end of the day,
Starting point is 00:51:22 they just have to sweep up all the discarded shells that are sitting there. Nice for the cleaning staff. Do they appreciate that tradition? All those migrant labourer cleaning staff? It's part of it. Yeah. And also here's a really interesting fact. It is located on number one beach road. However, there is no beach near it. Riddle me this. There used to be a beach near it. There used to be and there's so much reclaimed land. Oh, it wasn't named after Dylan Thomas's wife who was a nymphomaniac and a beach.
Starting point is 00:51:52 First class beach at that. Was that wild? There used to be a beach right at the edge of it. It's on Beach Road and so much land has been added that it's no longer in sight. And Singapore is 20% larger than it was in the 60s and it's basically taken the land from Malaysia and Indonesia Which you would think sounds like a war but they've not gone to war and taken the land in that way They've gone over there taken all the sand and then created new land in Singapore. Yeah, so the sand comes from different countries It's Malaysian land,
Starting point is 00:52:25 it's Indonesian sand, but it's made Singapore 20% larger. And it's very controversial because it's drained, like they've banned it in Indonesia, they banned it a while ago. They've officially, I think almost all of it comes from Cambodia and now because it got banned elsewhere, Cambodia have banned it, but you can still make a huge amount of money as a Cambodian who's willing to get your sacks out and collect loads of sand and export it. Because it is, I think a lot of stuff about Singapore is to do with the fact it's so small and they import so much of their food that they have to have innovative solutions for
Starting point is 00:52:54 feeding themselves and you know supplying their own stuff. And they've smashed that. There was always a chart when I went, which was 20 years ago, but I think it's the same. The only two things people ever told you about Singapore, and no offence to Singaporeans, I know there's more, but were the airport's amazing and the food's incredible. And actually, when you're there for three days, once you know the food is the only thing really to do there, once you've had kind of four meals in a row,
Starting point is 00:53:16 it's like, well, I can't enjoy this anymore. What am I gonna do now? How can you stop enjoying food? I've had them within about two hours. You've just gone round stuffing your face. Actually, I just thought of something that they did in Singapore. That's like the NFL stuff, which is they turn the car parks into like food halls. Oh really?
Starting point is 00:53:35 I'm sure they do that. Yeah. I remember going to, it was like an old car park. Once the car park closed and all the cars had gone, suddenly it just opens up and they sell like durian and yeah okay that sounds likely. That's a big thing isn't it? Yeah yeah. There's like one huge food hall. Graves because there's so little space going. They have to be all shaped like banana and they kind of tessellate with each other don't they. They're all spooning. Oh sweet.
Starting point is 00:54:01 No you you get they're digging up there used to be a couple of hundred cemeteries in Singapore. Now there are only about 60 left because they just need space. You get 15 years only in the ground if you choose to be buried and then you have to go elsewhere. Obviously, as we've said, they're kind of big on their rules and trying to stop people from doing certain things. There was an anti-gambling advert 2014. And this featured a little boy called Andy and he was complaining to his friends that his dad had bet his life savings on Germany
Starting point is 00:54:31 winning the World Cup. And Germany then won the 2014 World Cup. The National Council on Problem Gambling said that they decided to choose Germany because they thought they were very unlikely to win, but at least it would be realistic. You can never bet against the Germans in a world cup. Exactly, they should have known. But obviously everyone thought that this was encouraging people to gamble. So the council revamped the advert and Andy, the little boy says, his friend asks, your dad's team won, did you get your money back?
Starting point is 00:55:04 And he said no dad never stops he wants to bet one more time on which he bet on lester winning the next year's premier league no he didn't that's so funny yeah lots of things banned that's the that's the only thing i know like chewing gum i know obviously yeah but i mean it's pretty draconian there isn't it so you can still be caned if you're a man under the age of 50. Another euphemism for getting drunk. Oh no yeah you're right but you can really like they have a cane and they will and it's sort of minor levels of crime but it's really painful like it's really bad and there are all sorts of rumors about the procedure and just
Starting point is 00:55:38 it's just... I thought like jaywalking could get you caned like is what I thought when I went there I don't know if it was true, but. Mine of vandalism does... Weeing in a lift? Dan, you were there as a child, did you say? Not at that age, but yeah. Because they had a huge problem with people weeing in the lifts. Sorry, sorry. At what age did you stop weeing in lifts, Dan? Like 23.
Starting point is 00:56:02 You're Dylan Thomas' face. Yeah, because everyone lives in high-rise buildings. And in the 60s and 70s, every lift stank of piss and it was horrible. And they had suggestions of how do we combat this because it's a really nasty social problem. One block of flats just bought its own lift attendant, like everyone chipped in, and you'd have someone to press the buttons but also stop anyone weeing. And eventually in the 1988 war on piss, they installed urine detectors in lifts and had a crackdown and if any, if a drop of wee hits the floor, that urine detector detects it, the lift slams to a halt and you have to wait there until the authorities come and, you
Starting point is 00:56:43 know, drag you off to Chokey. Oh my god, and the first people calling for it Well, I think you know boys who were just sort of I want to know because I find they have this problem in other countries That most people live in high-rise You're so close to home when you're in a lift. What are you going out? Like go before you leave It feels like go before you leave. It just feels like you're so close to having either just left your toilet or just arriving at your toilet. But you know what it's like, when you really need the loo, you suddenly can't hold it anymore
Starting point is 00:57:14 when you're 10 yards from your front door, right? Yeah, you let your guard down a bit and then your bladder. I don't think it's people who are incapable, I don't think it's people who are almost over just can't hold it anymore. I think it was just a, I don't know, if I was visiting your home though James, I might wean the lift on the way up just to kind of mark the territory. Why would I live on a ground floor flat? Through the front window or whatever.
Starting point is 00:57:42 Okay, that's it. That is all of our facts. Thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to get in contact with any of us about the things that we've said over the course of this podcast, we can all be found on our various social media accounts. I'm on at Shriberland on Instagram, James. My Instagram is no such thing as James Harkin. Andy. My Instagram is at Andrew Hunter M. And if you want to get to us as a group, Anna, you can email podcast.QI.com or you can tweet at no such thing or Instagram at no such thing as a fish. That's right. Head to our website as well, by the way. We have all of our previous episodes up there.
Starting point is 00:58:14 We have a link to the gateway to Club Fish, which is the secret members club that we have. We do a lot of bonus episodes there, ad free episodes as well. Do check it out. Or just come back next week because we'll have another episode waiting for you here. See you then. Goodbye.

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