609: No Such Thing As Aunt Bessie In A Red Citroën Picasso
00:00Hi everyone, welcome to this week's episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, where we were joined by one of my favorite guests we've ever had.I mean, I love them all.And even though this one's from Yorkshire, I thought she was brilliant.Fighting talk.Yes, it's the brilliant Amy Gledhill.You don't want to miss this episode.You're already listening to it, so don't worry.But it was so much fun to record.
00:22Amy is absolutely terrific.It's just really, really fun.We hope you like it.The main things she wanted to let us know about were two podcasts that she make.One is called Single Ladies in Your Area, which is her and Harriet Kemsley,and the other is Northern News, which actually, James and I have both been on.It's her and Ian Smith.And it's so funny.
00:41It's so funny.It's just a brilliant show.It's so good.She didn't really say that we should mention this, but we should say also next year she's going to be on the last one laughing, is it called?Which everyone loved this year.The second season is coming out.She's going to be one of the stars of that.So she's absolutely brilliant comedian.
00:57you're going to love this showyou're going to love the 50 minute versionwhich is right herebut if you'd like to heareven more Amythen there is a chance to do thatand that is by joining our Patreonat the Plenty More Fish Tier
01:11because in that placenot only will you get longer episodes of fishyou will also get videosof our super duper mailbox showdrop us a lineThat's rightIf you want more fishIf you want ad free fish
01:23You want bonus contentClubfish is the place to joinyou can join it by going to patreon.com slash no such thing as a fish.We've been having an absolute blast making lots of new stuff for that.Go there and check it out.It's so much fun.But in the meantime, enjoy this show.And honestly, there is a moment in this show where I've known Dan for 20 years
01:42and he told me an anecdote about his life that I cannot believe.You'll know it when you hear it.On with the podcast.On with the show.Hello and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a weekly podcast coming to you from the QI offices in Hoburn.My name is Dan Schreiber. I am sitting here with Andrew Hunter Murray, James Harkin, and Amy Gledhill.And once again, we have gathered around the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last seven days.And in a particular order, here we go. Starting with fact number one, and that is,
02:26Amy. Okay. In North Carolina, it's illegal to play bingo for six hours straight.I'm sorry if that's sad news for any of you. Did you learn this the hard way?Yeah, I've just got out of prison this morning. It was rough. Once you're into bingo, you can't just stop.If you're mid-game and it hits the six-hour point, are you meant to just duck out?Yeah, yeah, yeah.How long does a game of bink? It's a long time since I played bingo. Is it? I played at university a few times.Is it, it can't be, it's multiple games, surely, right?It can't just be one game.
02:59Depends on the delivery.You know, the caller can go as slow as he or she likes.Yeah, right.You know.I found that there is actually a bingo caller of the year competition.Oh.Yeah.And each region, I think it's split in six regions.
03:16Each region you get 10 finalists and then they literally compete like in a live event.Wow.In it, it says to be a winner, you need to be a bit of a showman or woman.A performer, you need to enjoy the attention and want to make people smile.But you also need to know when to be authoritative as well.An extra talent, such as singing or comedy, doesn't hurt either.Who's doing a song?Big Bingo!
03:39If you were down to one number and your heart's racing and then someone's like,make them laugh, make them laugh.Come on!Do we know if the callers in the call of the year are they allowed to come up with different calls?Like Legs 11, they can do something else?So interesting.Because I found in other countries, sometimes they have different calls when they do bingo.Right.
04:01I found that in Russia, they have drumsticks instead of legs 11.And for 40, they say Alibaba, because he had 40 thieves.And when they say 43, now when I was younger, the bingo caller would say, down on your knees, 43.I'm not really sure what that meant.but in Russia apparently they sayStalingrad, 43due to the World War II battlewhere two million people were killed.
04:32So that's a bit grim, isn't it?Wow.Yeah.I love the calls.Because I've never played bingo.You've never played bingo.No, I've never in my life played bingo.Have I got a nice out for you?
04:43Now that I know all the calls, I'd love it.Number six, Tom Mix.Do you know who Tom Mixes?No.How is Tom Mix made it into bingo calling?was never in it when I used to do.I've never heard of Tom Mix.Tom Mix, he's massive.
04:57He was like American cowboy actor.He inspired John Wayne and all these other people.He's on the cover of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club back.Yeah, he's one of the cutouts.Tom Mix.You could have like Stevie Nix.Stevie Nix.Little Mix.
05:10Little Mix, I was going to say.Who's Otto Dix?Otto Dix?Good question.Wow.Yeah, a lot of the, you find when you look at the calls,a lot of them date back to the 1920s and 13.It's not a game that has moved with the times.
05:24There are occasional attempts to update what they call bingo lingo.Oh, yeah.There was a report five years ago,completely drummed up by a bingo company,like that woke millennials were abandoning the traditional callsand they were being updated instead.So, 38, avocado on a plate.No.
05:4849.Time to buy a house?No, it doesn't work.Alcohol-free wine, I was going to say.Amazon Prime.Seven, and don't pay any attention to the rhyme here, it won't help you.The number of David Beckham when he played for Man United.That's it.
06:09Oh, so Beckham.David Beckham number seven.Yeah, it works.That is good.It's not bad, yeah.It's better than the rhyme they came up with.Okay.Go on.
06:17Seven, flexitarian.Flexitarian.What's that?is vegetarian but has a bit of meat sometimes.Yeah.Yeah.Okay.Classic number seven.
06:29I'm just going back to North Carolina about why it's illegal to play six hours straight.Basically, all gambling was illegal in North Carolina.But then there was this thing about charities wanted to do bingo.So they had to make it legal so the charities could do it.But they didn't want to encourage people to open bingo holes where people gamble all the time.So they put in these really tight restrictions.So as well as only being able to play for five hours at a time,you're not allowed two games of bingo within a 48-hour period of each other to be held in the same building.
07:03And also no alcohol allowed, which kind of defeats the point, I think, really.I didn't think it was a boozy thing.I think of it as being tea time.No.Well, they have like these days, they have like bingo nights out that you can go on, which are really boozy.So do you play bingo?Oh, yeah.Oh yeah. I was so cynical about it until about five years ago. I was like,
07:26who's going to Bingo? What a stupid night out? Who cares if you've got a number on a thingand you dabbing, you dabber on it? And then I went and it was the most exhilarating thingI've ever done. It's absolutely incredible. Like I'm getting goosebumps thinking aboutbingo. It's because it's hard. It's like it's hard to do, which I didn't expect.Is it?Look, I know you're all very intelligent.Bingo is hard.I think that was all the numbers.
07:52I know.Yeah.I know the first hundred.I do know the first hundred.And you only need to 90, so you're going to be fine.Oh, really?It only goes up to 90.Didn't know that?
08:01Great.But it's fast and it's quick and they take no prisoners.If you go, oh, sorry, what was?They've moved on.Oh, really?Not again about it.Much like at Stalingrad, no prisoners taken there.So the kind you were playing that was so exciting.
08:15Yeah.Was it?I don't.I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to be mean or anything.Go on.Was it?Classic bingo, which I would think of as like blue rinse bingo.Yeah.
08:25I'm saying like, like, Village Hall.Yeah.Like, you might have been one of the younger clientele.I love the way that you're trying to.What's it in the north, Thaisley?Was it in the north?Was it elderly ladies in the north?It was elderly ladies in the north.
08:41Right.We all had chips and gravy.There was lots of cups of teas rattling on the table.And then it is.Silence like I have never heard beforeWhen they go, eyes down for a full houseAnd everyone pin drops outYou can hear people's heart beats
08:56It's so excitingA heart has stopped over thereCan we get disabled 16?What was that 60?No, wait, oh God, you missed the call.My way!Oh no!I could see how like you could just be in it
09:14and come out and six hours have goneAnd suddenly you and 17 grannies are being incarcerated.Yeah.Because I know there are nights now that are things like, well, a friend of mine was the first ever host of Rebel Bingo.And there's bonkers Bingo.There's bongoes bingo.And they're sort of big, they're like club nights combined with bingo.They're full, they're full, but they don't sound more full on than.
09:39No, I actually think your blue rins bingo is, like, it's a genuinely exhilarating.night out. We should go on a like a group outing. I don't think we'd be accepted because we wouldmake noise and they wouldn't like it. We just want to chat to each other. Yeah. We do when we'reout and if you make the single sound. You'd be leaning over. Interesting thing about the number37. Yes. I could tell you at the last graduate, Tom, Tom Mix was actually on the front of SergeantHappens. So like the modern bingo renaissance, let's say, I think came from mecca bingo.Right? So anyone in the towns of the UK will probably have had a mecca bingo or probably still do. And this was invented by Eric Morley. He also invented Strictly Come Dancing. Same guy because he ran a load of dance halls. And so he wanted to get dance halls to be big. So he did strictly. And also when dance halls became less popular, he brought bingo in there. And in 1951, he hosted and was in charge of the first Miss World contest as well.Eric Mawley.
10:47Legs 11.Yes.No fat ladies.The winner was Kiki Hackinson from Sweden.She was crowned wearing her bikini.And the whole event was condemned by friend of the podcast, Pope Pius the 12th.Oh.Who said that the whole thing was completely sinful.
11:08Really?And then he basically said the bikini itself was sinful.Wow.Well, you know.Yeah.Was he wrong?Without sight.But come, so come dancing, the TV show strictly come dancing, dancing for the stars.
11:21His family are basically still earning off the back of that.Morley's family.And rather excitingly, he was born in Hoburn.We are within minutes' walk of the birthplace.Is there a blue plaque?I don't know.There better be.I doubt it.
11:41Mechamingo got in a bit of trouble, actually.Around 1997.Can you guess why?In 1997.That won't help you.Is it something...Sorry.Is it something to do with Muslim people praying?
11:55It is.Is it really?It's basically there were some protests by Muslims saying,we don't really think this name is on.Our religion doesn't really go in for gambling.Actually, now I think about it, I think they have a good point there.Yeah, it was in Luton.And I think maybe they'd opened up in Luton.
12:15Mechabingo, I mean.I think there's quite a big Muslim population thereand so there were lots of pressurethere were bricks through the windows I'm afraidit all got a bit it all got a bit tense for a whilebut it is the holiest city in Islambut it's also the catchphraseand what it just meant was like this is a mecca for shopping
12:31or this is only idea was this is a mecca for dancingit just means this is somewhere you you go when you want to dancebut obviously where does that word come fromI suspect it comes from the fact it's the holiest cityyeah so it led to say and they said right we'll change our nameand then they didn'tAnd 30 years later, it's fine.And it's still going.
12:50Wow.Eric Morley, he was part of the British sort of raising of bingo.But in America, there was an entirely different person called Edwin S. Lowe, who made it massive there.And he saw it as a game that was being played in carnivals.And he thought, this is an amazing idea.And it wasn't originally called bingo in America.In fact, it had an even more British name that you could imagine.It was called Bino.
13:12Bino was the original name of bingo.Bino is like an American word for.for a party, isn't it?Yes.Yeah, right.Yeah.Like a bean feast, I guess.Yeah.
13:21Wow.Good old bean feast.You don't get enough for them these days.Can I tell you a couple of quick sort of calls that are specifically military?Okay.Because a lot of it dates back to, a lot of it dates back to the early 20th century or even the late 19th century.And the army had allowed bingo, partly because they wanted to allow, not total gambling, but a kind of form.It was a really popular game, and it is gambling.
13:47And really, it's just everyone puts a bit of money in and the winner gets it all.So it's not like a massive.It's not quite, it's not like, I don't know, slot machines or whatever.Yeah.So does the House ever win?Does a game end where no one's worth it?No.House never wins.
14:00But loads of the rhyming calls traditionally date back to 19th century military.You said because it had been allowed in the army in the first place.So 51?Where's my gun?Oh, very nice.The Highland Division.Of course.So catchy, isn't it?
14:15There's alsoWas she worth it?Seven and six.I don't know why that's seven and six.The price of a lady of the night or?It was the price of a marriage certificate.Yeah, I mean, similar, similar vein, James, but it's slightly different.That says a lot about my relationship, doesn't it?
14:35Ah, a sex worker.A wife.Oh, that's it.What a contrary, though, if they were the same priceif you were sent off again.Why did they put the marriage certificate?office next to the brothel.How did you know that, Amy?
14:50Just straight out there.That was the price.Seven and six was the price of America.Sometimes bingo knowledge is just in my bones.Yeah.Yeah.I'm really impressed.All right.
15:01Well, last one.Pompey Hort, 24.Oh, dear.That's Portsmouth.It's Portsmouth sailors on leave.Oh, no.Sorry, that's where I met my wife.Wife.
15:13Yeah.This episode of No Such Things of Fish is brought to you by Airbnb.What's the longest you've ever been away from home, James?Oh, in recent years it's when we've been touring.Yes, same.Same, same.Which is what, a month?Ooh, well, I came back early.
15:32Oh, yes, you did.As the people of Wellington will remember.But I think it was about nearly three weeks that we were away.I mean, it was a long old time.So when your house is empty in that time, presumably you put your own house.house on Airbnb and made a little bit of extra money. Well, I didn't actually, but that's only becauseI didn't know about the co-host network on Airbnb. It's quite convenient. You hire a high-qualitylocal co-host who takes care of your home and your guests while you're away. So they create
16:00your listing, they manage reservations, they message guests, they do on-site support, and they dodesign and styling. Design and styling. I mean, frankly, my home could do with that regardless.You could do with it yourself. All right. But yeah, a co-host can do the hosting.for you. And if you want to find a co-host, then you can go to airbmb.com.com.com slash host.Lovely stuff. Stop the podcast. Stop the podcast.Hi, everybody. Just wanted to let you know that this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.Yes, Squarespace. They are the all-in-one website, platform designed to help you stand out andsucceed online, whether you're starting out or scaling up your business. They give you everything
16:39you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand,Get paid, and we all like getting paid, don't we, Andy?Oh, yes.Squarespace, it's really good.It does so many things.Whether that's cutting-edge design tools,they've got amazing tools to allow you to design something gorgeousand that feels personal to you.
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17:44slash NSTWAFDon't be a squareGet your spaceLovelyDo you think they'll go for itOh yeahOn with the podcastOn with the show
17:57OkayIt is time for fact number twoAnd that is AndyMy fact is that in 2010It was reportedThat Pizza ExpressWas training its staffHow to flirt
18:07subtly with customersSo they felt more relaxedIs it more relaxing?I wouldn'tIt depends on the flirting, doesn't it?If it's just someone being friendly and attentive, but is that flirting?Not normally, no.This was reported basically as just a thing that Pizza Express were trying.
18:23I think it was in their Richmond branch and they'd hired an actor to train the staff to just, you know, be a bit extra friendly, I suppose.He said, there's a difference between flirting with someone and coming onto them.We're not asking them to do that.That would be mad.It was slow down service, among other things, you know.But if you're a guyAnd a really gorgeous Italian girlComes to your table
18:46It's great to meet somebody like thatAnd says do bowls, sirNo, it's just the way I'm satYeahAnd it's even better to hear her talkWith Passion and AuthenticityAbout the ingredients on the menuThat's the flirtation we're talking about
19:02Again, I just think that falls under normal waitressingAlso, I don't know if Mr James knewHow many of the Pizza Express staffAre actually ItalianBecause it's certainly around my localIt's not requiredMaybe people like flirting with youMaybe that's just a natural thing, Andy
19:17Oh, they're not flirt, no, they're notAbsolutely notNo, no, noSo they didn't take it beyond this firstAnd only Pizza ExpressThey reported that they were considering rolling it outAnd there the trail goes coldRight
19:27YeahIt would be very tricky for the staffTo hear one day like ohThe job roll has changed ever so slightlyYou're still serving the pizzaYou still taking their ordersYou do need to sort ofReally sort of sexually excite the customers now
19:40Excuse me?Yeah, it's like you do the doubles, you know, you make sure they've had their starters,and then you just sort of look at their lips a lot.And you're like, no, well, obviously, not going to do that.If someone looks at my lips when I was in Pizza Express, I would assume I had an olive on there.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Flirting is actively not encouraged in quite a lot of industries.They actively say, don't flirt.
20:05I saw a headline talking about New York taxi drivers.This was genuinely the headline.I think it was in the independent.New York taxi.taxi drivers to be banned from flirting with or ejaculating on passengers.I think flirting can go too far at times.I mean, he's facing the wrong way, or she.You'll never guess who I ejaculates you know last week.
20:35Damn, what is this headline?It was just New York officials. It said that they need to ban becauseflirting would be happeningand people were complainingand they had people writing in sayingI'm sorry I feel uncomfortablein the back of the cabwhen I'm being flirted with
20:50and or ejaculated onOh stop itWowBut for it to be bannedIt must be happeningAt a frequency that's enoughFor it to need banningI actually think there were already laws
21:03against to ejaculatesThere's a sauna in LeedsWhere there's a sign in the saunaThat saysdo not pissand it says pissit doesn't say you're in itjust do not piss on the coals
21:17and you're like well how often is it happeningthat they needed a signyou'd be mad to put that upand no one has ever pissed on the carabsolutely because in a wayI'd be likewell I'd never thought of thatI wonder if it steams more than water
21:31so question is itis it worse to piss on the coalsas in is that going into your pawsyou know? I don't knowit'll be fine it'll be fineIt'll be fine.Because it's water, it'll...It's water vapour.
21:43What's the problem?Are you the person that pissed?I'm not...I'm not...I'm not...I'm just saying.It also contains urea...Right.
21:49...urin.And that's not going to be...There's going to be an ammonia in the air.There'll be ammonia in the air, definitely.No one's denying that.I just said it is...There will be a tang in the air.I just don't know if breathing in vaporized pisses...
22:03I know it's not nice.I know it's not nice.But I just don't know if it's...It depends how much, doesn't it?Quantity is all.That's the problem.Your honourIt's like
22:11I just don't know if it's any worseYour HonourI'm just pissed on the callsI don't think itaffects anythingDid you see this personallyYes I saidWow
22:19And then I was satAnd sort of likePull your pants back upOkayWhoopsOh noOh noGood Lord
22:29YeahPiss on theIt sounds like a sayingLike I wouldn't piss on his coldYou knowIt'sSo flirtingAmy, you make a show about
22:41Love Dating RomanceYes, yeahCalled Northern News No, called Single Ladies in your areaSingle Ladies, okay, I just wanted to askIf you have encountered thisBecause you've been on dating apps and stuffOh yeah, big timeHave you encountered people
22:56flirting with youWho you suspect of usingArtificial Intelligence?I've never considered thatBecause this is a thingthat's been coming up in the newsMore and more this yearpeople are basically coming up with responses to questions
23:10by putting it into chat GPT or whateverand then sayingand then people are going on dates with themand finding, oh, you're not interesting or funny at allbecause everything they've done is basically been mediated throughand sometimes you'll get two people using chat GPT talking to each otherand then it's basically two robots talking to each otherusing the medium of humans.
23:30Wow.I know.But you haven't found that?No, I don't think so.and if they are using chat GPTand that's been punched upI would hate to see what this started withbecause if they need chat GPT
23:45to get to what you've been up tothis weekend question mark kissthen AI is not taking overand finethe person who one of the founders of Bumblewho's Whitney Wolf heardreckons that soon we'll be able to havesort of AI versions of ourselves
24:03that have basically all of my lifeor things that I would be likely to saywill be in this AI versionand then you might have your AI versionand our two AIs can meet and see if they get onand if our little robots meet and get onthen we will get on in real lifeyeah I mean it kind of makes sense
24:21it makes sense yeah is that a world you want to live init's pretty odd isn't I'm out of that world nowI have zero opinion on it reallyI suppose the experience of being on the apps is soboring and annoying and you knowlots of people chat to you for a bitand then don't get them justdisappear without anything like i can imagine any shortcut to not doing that anymore would be seen as a
24:40good thing yeah well i tried it i tried chat gpte generated flirting oh yeah on whom on my wife ohokay okay but i just asked chatty pt can you come up with something flirtatious for me to say tomy wife yep line one your laugh is my favorite song and your arms are my favorite place to be oh yeahshe just she said okayI thoughtthis is going wellI'll follow it upyou still give me butterflies
25:12I must have done something amazingto deserve youand she said what's going onvery muchhave you crashed the carlike whatyeah yeah yeah yeahand then I said
25:23I would love to answer thisbut you have no more free chats leftplease upgrade to pro to continuethat sealed the dealshe said you got me hereupstairs nowWow, we. That's amazing.Grim.
25:39Can I tell you some historical flirting techniques from Lancashire where I'm from?Oh, okay.There was a thing called promenading or promenading where a load of boys and girls would stand on opposite sides of a road to each other.And they wouldn't say anything.They'd just try and make eye contact with each other and sort of like smile and stuff like that.And then everyone would go home.and if the girl fancied the boyshe would leave a cake outside his house
26:06and then that would mean they were datingSo you would knowFeels like that could create confusionWhat if you had eye contact with two peopleAnd you have found one cake outside your houseYeahOh yeahMaybe the cake has their name on it
26:17That's a good ideaIs this in your day or is thisStill my day, DanStill my dayGot the 7 and 6 readyOh no this is early 20th centurySo a little bit before my dayJust on the cusp
26:35And then there's a guy called Spanking RogerWho's one of my favourite people in historyAnd he got together with his partnerThrough a thing that used to happenOn the Moors just outside ManchesterAnd they would have a naked raceOf all the young lads in the townAnd then the girls would sort of stand there watching
26:54And sort of eye up the form of everyone thereAnd then a bit laterThey'd all go down the pubAnd they'd go, oh yeah, I like the look at youOh my GodDid he be called spankingSpanking Roger?Yeah
27:04Because he was also a boxerWhat noWhat was it?Some per the questionNoHe would beat people upLike beat people in the ringHe'd give you
27:15Come onHe'd give you a spankingYeahRight right rightWowIt's like a live naked attractionYeahBefore it happened
27:24But movingOn naked attractionsYou don't know how wellThey can moveThey're just standing thereThey're justGood point actuallyThat's a really good point.
27:32Tell me, Amy, why do humans flirt?Why do humans flirt?Why do we not just come up to each other and say,I want to have sex with you and then have children that way?Oh, I don't know.It'd be much easier if we were allowed to do that, wouldn't it?God, I honestly think that would be fantastic.Imagine we can all just be honest and be like,
27:50you're physically attractive.I think we should push our meat sacks together.Like, I think that would just be so much easier.There's a New York taxi driver listening to this right now.Preach!I guess there must be some sort of evolutionary thing.Is it to see if you're like a good match?Kind of, yeah.
28:12So the problem is that humans used to spend a lot of time in very small groups.And if you decide that you want to get together with someone and they were buffed you,you can't just move to London and then sort of move to a new place and get a new life or anything.You're stuck in that place.So the only way to do it is to get a new life.give very sort of small signalsthat you can deny if someonesays, you know, so it's
28:37deniability, basically.Wow. That's clever.Because there is this thing of lots of people don't knowwhen they're being flirted with. Yeah. Yeah.And I'm afraid, Amy, women are especiallybad at it. Is this just your personalopinion?You're like, I flirt all the time and no one gives me anything bad.
28:55Genetically, they're just not good at it.Well, it's actually it's women and men.But women sort of sometimes underperceive when they're being flirted with, and men overperceive it.So it will often be like male students when asked, they're likelyer than women to misinterpret friendly gestures as sexual interest.And many mistake, but many people do mistake sexual cues as amicable signals.But often, if you're a straight man, the nervous woman smiling at you is not flirting with you.She's nervous and you're thinking, oh, she's flirting with me.And women underestimate her.
29:29And there is a theory that this leads to the idea of the friend zone,which is not a real, or it's the idea that the friend zone is not a real thing.It's the people are just drastically misinterpreting each other's cues.And men are saying, oh, I've been friend zoned.And actually, that's not what has happened.It's just that she's just not that into you, to point a phrase.And so, yeah, yeah, it's tricky.And I think a lot of women, I think you are really having to be friendly
29:54if you're, like, feeling unsafe.So, you know, like, if you're, like, on a train and a scary man's, it's next to you,and he might think he's flirtingand you kind of can't sayplease don't talk to me I hate thisso you have to go likeoh reallyoh that's nice
30:10and he'll be like she's into itbut you're thinkingdon't harm me don't kill medon't fly don't where I livebut you're I guess you're giving offkind of friendlyish signalsas a kind of safety deviceand I guess guys will be like
30:23she loves thisthere is only one way around thisand that is boys on one side of the roadGirls on the other side of the road.There's subtle link.Lots of cakes.I think any flirting with cakes is fantastic.Can I tell you something very quickly
30:38that I found that links in,I guess, sexy stuff and pizza emporiums?Oh, yeah.Oh, wow.Okay.So there was an article that said,Pizza Hut responds to furious whole customerwho claims ketchup bottle label
30:52sounds like Swinger's app.So I was like, well, what the hell are they calling their ketchup in Pizza Hut?Do you want to guess what they name it?Squirty.Yeah.So they call it shake, squeeze and squirt.And he was like, that is too sexual.Yeah.
31:10Is it?That's great directions.I think if it's on a ketchup bottle, I think it's not too sexual.Yeah.Context is all.Yeah.Yeah.There's a penis tattoo.
31:23If you just tap it on the top, it'll come out of a quicker.Turn it upside down and bang the bottle.some really hard.It doesn't work.Stick a knife for a day.Okay, it is time for fact number three, and that is my fact.My fact this week is that in 1931, Laurel and Hardy simultaneously filmed up to five versionsof every movie that they made, each time speaking in a different language, despite the fact
31:56that they only knew English.This is a fascinating bit of Hollywood, which often doesn't get mentioned, which is when it was the silent era, when you were sending movies over to Europe or any other country, it was very easy. You replace the card with the words on it, right? And so people had these massive fan bases all over the world. Laurel and Hardy in particular had a big, big fan base in Spain and Italy and other countries in Europe. And then when it became the talkie movies, suddenly they were not understanding it. And they didn't have the technology to do subtitles at the time.So what used to happen was, and this was an idea of Hal Roach, who was this amazing movie mogul,he said, we're going to film every single scene of everything you film from now,in up to five different languages, and they had to learn phonetically how to say all of the dialogue.There was half an hour of rehearsals for each scene where they had to learn the phrases.They had speech coaches of the language there with them, telling them to do it.You know what I thought when I read this is there's no way they did it very well, right?
32:58because as someone who's learning a language right nowyou can know exactly how to say somethingbut you try and say ituntil a native speaker it doesn't quite sound right.Yeah, so that's definitely trueand I think the interesting thing wasI read a report about it which saidSpanish audiences took special satisfaction
33:14in seeing Laurel Orhardysquirming under the burden of a difficultCastilian phrase.And so it's sort of almost funnierseeing, knowing that they're having to do itand knowing they can't do it very well.Everyone else was a perfect speakerSo they surrounded them in the different versions.
33:29So all the other actors were perfect.I presume, or maybe they subbed in the actors and like,so right, get the Spanish cast in now.Yeah.And they'll do it with them.So, yeah, that might have been it.A lot of these movies are now lost because they weren't the main thing that peoplewere keeping for posterity, right?
33:42Like the English-speaking versions were.But it's exactly that.They loved it when Laurel O'Hardy could just mumble a sentence.And they're like, that doesn't matter.It's comedy.It's fine.We just want to see them falling over with a piano.Yeah.
33:55I bet they knew how to say,Oh, no. Piano in so many different languages.The great thing about piano is it's the same in almost every language.Yeah, perfect.But yeah, I was thinking about double acts because Amy, you're part of a double act.Or were?Still am.Still am.
34:12The delightful sausage.Yeah.Yeah.It's a catchy name.That we never thought we would be a double act.We just needed to run a comedy night together.And we was like, what should we call it?And Chris had literally just had breakfast and he said, that was a delightful sausage.
34:25And we were like, yeah, yeah, yeah.That'll do that.I'll do it. Ten years later, we're like, we should have thought about that name justlike a bit more. It's a great name. Do you think? It's an amazing. I mean, the wordsausage is the funniest word in the word. We recently learned as part of no such thing as a fishthat the word sausage has been in our titles more than any other word out there,outside of like with and or and so on. It's our number one word. So you know, you're on tosomething. Wow. Because you could have gone something and something and something. Yeah.
34:52And that's like Laurel and Hardy is the classic one and, you know, Canada Ball, Hail and Pace,all of that,all those thingslike the Mighty Booshwhere it's not clearthat it's a double-act.Yes.I reckon the Mighty Boosh
35:01is similar to your namebecause that's namedafter his hair,wasn't it?Like, Norfieldings in that.You've got a mighty bush.Yeah.Oh my God.
35:09Oh, wow.So, one of you got a...He's flirting.He's flirting.I feel unsafe.But yeah, Chris does havea huge boosh.Hey, there's another technique,
35:24by the way,that I've seen a double act using comedy where they don't speak the language.Rick Mail and Adrian Edmondson,they often used to speak backwards in their scenes.So Guest House Paradiso, their movie,they would speak backwards a linebecause the comedy stunt that they were doingwas so dangerous that it only worked if you played it in reverse.
35:45So rather than throwing spiky nails into the nose of Rick Mail,you would take them out with him going and then you would get the line played forward.And the scene played for it.And Amy, do you know what the word sausage is backwards?Jesus.Jesus?Sausage.Oh my God.
36:05Well, son of, yeah.Oh, my God.Wow.Dan, I've seen Gestile's parody so about five times.I didn't know that.Yeah, it's in the bonus.VHS.There we go.
36:18Documentary.No one watches the bonuses like you're done.It's such a good filmIt's greatLaurel and HardyHave you seen any of their stuff AmyYeah I have seen stuffBut I wouldn't say I'm you know
36:32Is it ridiculous to explain who they areTo an audienceI think soI think soYeahComedy double actStan Laurel was tall and thinAnd lugubrious looking
36:42And Ollie Hardy wasAnd BritishAnd Ollie Hardy was sort of a bigBig fellow with a moustacheAnd Laurel was alwaysDoing silly thingsand Ollie Hardy was always annoyed with himand they were mega famous
36:55they were sort of globally famousif you name any othersilent movies like Charlie ChaplinBuster Keaton they're in absolutely thatsort of echelon and I startedlooking into their livesso Oliver Hardy had avery interesting early
37:09life so his real name wasNorvel but his fatherOliver Hardy's dad fought in theAmerican Civil Warreallywhat is the timeline of thatisn't that nutsWas it like a hilarious sort of battle that he was in?
37:2620,000 people were killed in that custard pie fight.Yeah, no, his father was a sergeant in the Confederate Army.Wow.And that's the 1860s.Then Oliver Hardy was born in 1892.So, like, it all worked.Like, he fought in the Civil War as a very young man.And then 30 years later, he had Oliver.
37:43But, like, yeah, it's extraordinary.Ollie's grandfather was a slave owner.Right.Oh, my God.The generations you have to go to get back to that period, it's so few.Yeah, yeah, you know.He's famous, while we're just mentioning their sort of classic traits,for looking at the camera with a really frustrated face.
38:02Like that was...Like the Miranda.Like the Miranda look, exactly.Fleabag bag, original filmag.And there's a story that goes that in order to get the best performance out of him,Stan Laurel, who was really kind of the mastermind behind the two of them,He was the real thinker.He knew comedy inside out.
38:20He was a James Harkin of that group.Yeah, exactly.Bossy.Bossy.The kind of guys would piss on some coals, you know?So he used to get Hardy to do those frustrated looks into the camera at the end of the daybecause he knew that at the end of the day,Hardy wanted to get out of there and got on the golf course.
38:40He was like, I want to play golf, and he would keep him a bit.He was the James Harkin.Yeah, exactly.And so those frustrated looks,were growingly real, real, because he was like, I'm meant to be out of here.I found some nice things about Stan that I really liked.Did you know that he, so he was doing hydroponic gardening, that was one of his loves.Oh, really?
39:03And he once crossbread, a potato and an onion, but couldn't get anyone to sample the results.That was tragic.Was this after he was famous?Yeah.Wow.Yeah.I think it sounds incredible.Like if you're making a hot pot, you only have to put one thing in.
39:16ultimate time saverhe was from the lake districtdidn't know that from all swatteroh i read olverstonoh is that somethingthey're very close bythey both begin with youyeah
39:29well it's now home towhat's described as the world'sonly laurel and hardy museumis it reallyweird there's only onethat is weirdit's not weirdit's completely normal
39:40there's only one museumdedicated entirely tolaurel and Hardyokay maybe there should be twotwo topsI opened up a Laurel and Hardycafe and ice cream bar in Kosovoback in 2003.
39:52What?What?So I was going to say when we were describing who.So I think I'm going to say lie.What are you going to say, hey, me?I'm going with true.I think it's true.I think it's like a double bluff.
40:05I think it's true.What the hell?Well, I was saying it wasn't my own money that was evolved,but I was living in Kosovo when I was 18.Who wouldn't back that with big capital?the dragons are all they're all in they're fighting to get youand where are you doing thisKosovo
40:24Debram Eden's out of the chairshaking your hand yes I'll take it yesI'm in I'm all inthere was a guy out there who I became friends withthrough my grandmother and he was like you like comedyI was like yeah he was like I'm opening a cafe and I want it to bethemed and we spoke about itAnd we landed on the restaurant would be the Hardy restaurant.
40:48And you would have the ice cream bar, which was Stan.And so it was all, it was all, you know, the images of them were up on the walls and you could buy statues.But they were massive in Kosovo.My statues, of course.I'm not hungry.I had a big lunch.I'll just have a statue of Oliver Hardy, please.Not in the shop.
41:11You didn't buy statues of the shop.That'd be crazy.Yeah, yeah.We're just outside there'll be a go.The next shot.The next shot.Because Norman Wisdom was big in Albania, I think you guys might know.They loved him there.
41:23Oliver Hardy and Stan Laurel, huge in that bit of the world as well.Is it still trading?I don't know.I haven't been back for some.I imagine it.Camp, come out of business.There's our franchises in every city in the Balkans.Stop the podcast.
41:47Stop the podcast.Andrew, did you know that going online without ExpressVPN is like scuba diving in a suit made of meat?It's a great idea if you want to meet lots of sharks.I don't.I don't want to meet lots of.Well, I want to meet them on my terms.I guess what I'm saying is that there's lots of sharks out there who are trying to get your personal data.And going online without ExpressVPN is like an invitation for them.
42:14So chomp, chomp, chump, chump.I understand that incredibly frightening metaphor, to be honest.Yeah, no, we are sponsored this week by ExpressVPN.Basically, every time you connect to an unencrypted network,cafe, hotel, airport, you name it.Your online data is not really secure.Any hacker on the same network can gain access to your personal data.It doesn't take a huge amount of technical knowledge.
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43:32Okay, it's time for our final fact of the show, and that is James.Okay, my fact this week is that the character of Aunt Bessie was invented in 1994 to stop peoplemistaking yorkshire puddings for nuclear weaponsquick questionwho's aunt bessieI can't believe that you don't know who aunt bessieeducate the boyAunt Bessie is a maternal figure
43:57who makes Yorkshire puddingsshe's like the patron saint of Hullyeah okayI can't believe she's not widely knownI've never heard of herbut she's not real rightshe's not realshe was invented in 1994 to stop people
44:12mistaken Yorkshire puddings for nuclear weapons.Right. So up until that point, would you go to Sunday lunch and go,whoa, everyone out! Everyone out!Well, it's worse because when they were trying the nuclear tests,often they just threw a big Yorkshire pudding into it.A lot of Hawaiian islands were destroyed by massive Yorkshire puddings being dropped on them.So basically, this company that makes Yorkshire puddings was originally called Triton.They're based in Hull, and they did market research and found that people associated the name
44:42Triton with the UK's nuclear deterrent, which is Trident.And only 4% of people associated the word with Yorkshire pudding.So they decided to come up with a new brand.And that new brand was Aunt Bessie.And they are the biggest makers of Yorkshire pudding, probably in the world, but definitelyin Britain.They make millions of them.They can't be anywhere outside Britain that makes more Yorkshire puddings than Britain.
45:05You know, sometimes you just find out, oh, it happens that they're massive in Bolivia.Kosovo, there's this huge factory.It's themed around Harold Lloyd, but it's...Instead of custard pies, we use Yorkshire puddings in the restaurant.Yeah.Should we tell what a Yorkshire pudding is?For international listeners.Okay, for those of you, not in Yorkshire or Bolivia, it is...
45:29It's batter, so that's flour and water and eggs.And you get some hot oil, and you make it really, really hot,and then you put the batter into itand it puffs upinto a delicious, crispy thingthat you eat with meat and gravy.You can have them as desserts as well, you know?Oh, yeah?
45:48Yeah, you can put ice cream in.Have you done that?Yeah, it's really cool.It's actually the best day ever.We went for a roast dinner.In London, actually, it wasn't even in the north.We had a Sunday lunch with huge Yorkshire puddings,and then on the menu,
46:05you can get Yorkshire pudding with three scoops of ice cream in.Wow.It's just like a waffle.It's like a waffle.It's like a pancake, isn't it really?It feels decadent to that sort of, you know.Because is that still made with beef dripping?Are you adding ice cream to beef dripping?
46:19I presume so, yes.I've got to say that is a step too northern for me.Have you been to the factory that makes them?I've driven past it a million times, but I've never been in.How interesting.I hear, this is an interesting question for you.People who work there, some of them have reported.that as they drive past, even if they work
46:41in a different industry, they feel the callof the factoryto work there.What are you talking about?Okay, so the factory'sYorkshire pudding guru, as he'sknown, David Barr, that's howhe ended up working there. He used to work in fish.
46:55He was always in the fish industry, and he used topass it every day, and he's like, oh, I feelI need to be in there.And he applied three timesfor the job. What's that movie wherethey sort of make the spaceshipout of mashed potatoes?Close and counter to the,
47:09This is like the Yorkshire version of that.Yeah, exactly.Yeah.No, he felt the calling and he went for three interviews and he failed the first two and he said,finally he got the job when they just asked him why he wanted to join the company.And he went, I just love Yorkshire puddings.And they're like, you're in.And he's now literally the top of the heap.
47:27He is the man.He's the guru is his title there.It's like Willy Wonka of Yorkshire.Yeah, exactly.That's a good film.I mean, it's pretty crazy, isn't it?Like the amount that they produce.Every day they use more than half a million eggs in order to make.
47:43This is in the Christmas season where it really ramps upand they have to bring in more staff who've all felt the calling.It's a pretty incredible process.It's like a wonder if they do do tours.Like visitors can go because I would genuinely be interested in going.I'm sure your career has allowed you now.Do you think?Do you think I've got the key to the factory?
48:03Oh, you've got a poll.What's the point of getting all these awards and like all these amazingpodcast if you can't then get into the Yorkshire potty parts of right part of Hull's secondgreatest comedy double act of course you're getting in I'm sorry Hale and pacegeniuses are they from Hull Gareth Hale is from Hull yeah amazingwhat if he's been to the factory of course he has got a key he's got a key he can go in any timehe's probably shagged aunt Bessie he's wow can I can ask you something about Hullyes please so um Hull got
48:37listed as part of Lonely Planet's 500 travel experiences in the UK, unmissable experiencesand hidden in the 500. You made one entry, yeah, in the 500. You were listed 483 and it was apublic toilet. No. Yeah. What's the experience to have? It was Victoria Peer's publictoilet. Have you been? Yeah. Is it good? No. But is it historical? Is it beautiful? Yeah. He'skind of beautiful, the outsidebut if you actually use the toilet itselfharrowing. It's better than you're pissing in a sauna.I don't think it is.
49:15If I genuinely, if I had a choice,would 100% go for the sauna clothes?At least then you're in a sauna.Yeah. That's nice. It's actually a good wayof getting rid of human excrement,isn't it? In a way.A sauna? Yeah, like it means you don'thave to have drains or anything because it just
49:30evaporates. You breathe it all in.You breathe in that piss. That's what I'm saying.Well, what I'm thinking is maybe... But it's number ones only.It's number one totally.We're going to have to update that sign outside.Imagine the disdain of the person writing.Oh, shit.Don't make me write or ejaculate.
49:55You taxi drivers.Which one of you taxi drivers?Hey, I'm sorry.Oh, my God.Hold Patty?Patty buttyPatty buddy? You've ever had one?No I never have
50:09What's a patty buddyWhat? You don't know what a patty butty isI'm from LancashireAll I know about holletsThe wrong end of the M62If you end up thereYou've gone seriously wrongYeah you've really gone wrong there
50:23So a patty isA potatoIt's like mashed potatoWith lovely herbs inDeep friedTo make it sort of likeIt's almost like a potato fritterBut then you have
50:35have it in a breadcake or a bread bun or however you want to say that and you pack vinegaronto it till it's dripping and it's fantastic that's so nice because it's so good it's a reallytraditional hull dish it's traditionally made by the maidens of hull by hand did they roll it ontheir thighs like the Cuban cigars just wipe the oil off on your thighs it's very hard to tellsometimes if you're in Hull or HavanaBut if you smell the vinegar, that's when you know.You know your flirting's gone wellwhen you can smell the vinegar.
51:12On the whole maiden.But there was this whole group of womenand they were called patty slappers.Oh, wow.I just wonder, is that known in Hull?I didn't know that, but I've just got a new idea for a show.Wow, that's incredible.You've got the Lemsip Factory?
51:34Really?Isn't that cool? I don't know. I owe a great deal. I owe a great deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.Wreck it is the firm binder. Yeah. That's very cool.Actually, there's quite a fun thing which was this team called the Drunk Animal Creative Studio set up these things of alternative blue plaques to commemorate the locals that had done interesting things. Have you seen those?I think I've, yeah, I think I've heard of it, but I don't know if I've seen any.So, like, an example would be, on this spot, last Monday, Tom Piper got lucky.That was one.Here was one.
52:09Ronnie Pickering, 2015, became an internet sensation near here for his red citron Picasso.Is he from Hull, Ronnie Pickering?Yeah, he's from Hull.That's amazing.You know Ronnie Pickering, but you don't know, I'm Bessie.This is wild.If I'm Bessie, maybe threaten someone from a car, maybe I would have never.I'm not fucking Bessie.
52:29Who?Me.Bessie!Oh, God.Oh, that's so cool.Yeah, they're really fun.I love that.That's lovely.
52:41There's a really cool hero as well called Carl Bushby.Have you heard of him from Hull?He decided in 1998 he was going to walk the world, right?Wow.So he started in Chile, and the idea was to end up back in Hull.So it was going to take him 10 years, so he should have been back in 2010.He's still walking.Did he not realize that the other?
52:59Atlantic Ocean is in between those two places.Yeah, yeah.It's a bit of problem.He's keeping walking on.There must be a land bridge here.He had so many problems.He's expected to end it in September of next year.He's still walking.
53:12Do we know where he is?He just, he was just walking through Turkey, and I think he's just crossed the border now.That's good.That's walking is good.I mean, it's been really hard because you had to have, you know, three month of visas werea problem when you were walking Russia, you know, like that was an issue.I'll tell you what, if he's coming up from Turkey.You know where he's about to go past.
53:31Where?Kosovo.Carl, you know where to go.Kohl, you'll get yourself a free statue of Stan, not Olly.Okay, that's it. That is all of our facts.Thank you so much for listening.If you'd like to get in contact with any of us about the things that we've said over the course of this podcast, we can all be found on our social.media accounts. I'm on Instagram on at Schreiberland, James. My Instagram is no such thing as James
54:04Harkin. Andy. I'm on Instagram at Andrew Hunter and Amy. I am at that Amy Gledhill onInstagram. Yeah. And also if you want to hear any of Amy's podcast, Amy, where do they go? Well, I thinkthere would be a good Venn diagram overlap with Northern News podcast as James and Andrew have bothdone that, but have been brilliant guests on it. And we find new stories from the north, silly,ones and we have a laugh about them. And then if you're interested in the flirting what we've talkedabout, I also do single ladies in your area. And that is about being single and how hard that isactually. But it's fun and it's lighthearted. And Dan, maybe you can come on that one because if we'vehad these two on Northern News, you could be a guest on single ladies. Okay. I am a single lady,
54:51so that makes sense. But yeah, so definitely go listen to those. And if you want to write into us as a groupabout any of the things that we've said on this podcast. You can do that by writing topodcast at QI.com. All the emails make their way to Andy. He loves to cherry pick the best of themand they head towards our extra bonus show that is sitting in our special members club,Clubfish. It's called Drop Us a Line. So send them there. We'll read them out and discuss them.If you haven't joined Clubfish, head to No Such Thing as a Fish.com. All of the details arethere. It'll send you to Patreon. Check it out. Be part of the club. Otherwise, do justcome back here next week because we're going to be back with another episode. We'll see you then. Goodbye.
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