No Such Thing As A Fish - 609: No Such Thing As Aunt Bessie In A Red Citroën Picasso

Episode Date: November 13, 2025

Amy Gledhill joins Dan, James and Andy to discuss gambling, flirting, and pudding. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.  Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon

Hi everyone, welcome to this week's episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, where we were joined by one of my favorite guests we've ever had. I mean, I love them all. And even though this one's from Yorkshire, I thought she was brilliant. Fighting talk. Yes, it's the brilliant Amy Gledhill. You don't want to miss this episode. You're already listening to it, so don't worry. But it was so much fun to record.

Amy is absolutely terrific. It's just really, really fun. We hope you like it. The main things she wanted to let us know about were two podcasts that she make. One is called Single Ladies in Your Area, which is her and Harriet Kemsley, and the other is Northern News, which actually, James and I have both been on. It's her and Ian Smith. And it's so funny.

It's so funny. It's just a brilliant show. It's so good. She didn't really say that we should mention this, but we should say also next year she's going to be on the last one laughing, is it called? Which everyone loved this year. The second season is coming out. She's going to be one of the stars of that. So she's absolutely brilliant comedian.

you're going to love this show you're going to love the 50 minute version which is right here but if you'd like to hear even more Amy then there is a chance to do that and that is by joining our Patreon at the Plenty More Fish Tier

because in that place not only will you get longer episodes of fish you will also get videos of our super duper mailbox show drop us a line That's right If you want more fish If you want ad free fish

You want bonus content Clubfish is the place to join you can join it by going to patreon.com slash no such thing as a fish. We've been having an absolute blast making lots of new stuff for that. Go there and check it out. It's so much fun. But in the meantime, enjoy this show. And honestly, there is a moment in this show where I've known Dan for 20 years

and he told me an anecdote about his life that I cannot believe. You'll know it when you hear it. On with the podcast. On with the show. Hello and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a weekly podcast coming to you from the QI offices in Hoburn. My name is Dan Schreiber. I am sitting here with Andrew Hunter Murray, James Harkin, and Amy Gledhill. And once again, we have gathered around the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last seven days. And in a particular order, here we go. Starting with fact number one, and that is,

Amy. Okay. In North Carolina, it's illegal to play bingo for six hours straight. I'm sorry if that's sad news for any of you. Did you learn this the hard way? Yeah, I've just got out of prison this morning. It was rough. Once you're into bingo, you can't just stop. If you're mid-game and it hits the six-hour point, are you meant to just duck out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long does a game of bink? It's a long time since I played bingo. Is it? I played at university a few times. Is it, it can't be, it's multiple games, surely, right? It can't just be one game.

Depends on the delivery. You know, the caller can go as slow as he or she likes. Yeah, right. You know. I found that there is actually a bingo caller of the year competition. Oh. Yeah. And each region, I think it's split in six regions.

Each region you get 10 finalists and then they literally compete like in a live event. Wow. In it, it says to be a winner, you need to be a bit of a showman or woman. A performer, you need to enjoy the attention and want to make people smile. But you also need to know when to be authoritative as well. An extra talent, such as singing or comedy, doesn't hurt either. Who's doing a song? Big Bingo!

If you were down to one number and your heart's racing and then someone's like, make them laugh, make them laugh. Come on! Do we know if the callers in the call of the year are they allowed to come up with different calls? Like Legs 11, they can do something else? So interesting. Because I found in other countries, sometimes they have different calls when they do bingo. Right.

I found that in Russia, they have drumsticks instead of legs 11. And for 40, they say Alibaba, because he had 40 thieves. And when they say 43, now when I was younger, the bingo caller would say, down on your knees, 43. I'm not really sure what that meant. but in Russia apparently they say Stalingrad, 43 due to the World War II battle where two million people were killed.

So that's a bit grim, isn't it? Wow. Yeah. I love the calls. Because I've never played bingo. You've never played bingo. No, I've never in my life played bingo. Have I got a nice out for you?

Now that I know all the calls, I'd love it. Number six, Tom Mix. Do you know who Tom Mixes? No. How is Tom Mix made it into bingo calling? was never in it when I used to do. I've never heard of Tom Mix. Tom Mix, he's massive.

He was like American cowboy actor. He inspired John Wayne and all these other people. He's on the cover of Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club back. Yeah, he's one of the cutouts. Tom Mix. You could have like Stevie Nix. Stevie Nix. Little Mix.

Little Mix, I was going to say. Who's Otto Dix? Otto Dix? Good question. Wow. Yeah, a lot of the, you find when you look at the calls, a lot of them date back to the 1920s and 13. It's not a game that has moved with the times.

There are occasional attempts to update what they call bingo lingo. Oh, yeah. There was a report five years ago, completely drummed up by a bingo company, like that woke millennials were abandoning the traditional calls and they were being updated instead. So, 38, avocado on a plate. No.

49. Time to buy a house? No, it doesn't work. Alcohol-free wine, I was going to say. Amazon Prime. Seven, and don't pay any attention to the rhyme here, it won't help you. The number of David Beckham when he played for Man United. That's it.

Oh, so Beckham. David Beckham number seven. Yeah, it works. That is good. It's not bad, yeah. It's better than the rhyme they came up with. Okay. Go on.

Seven, flexitarian. Flexitarian. What's that? is vegetarian but has a bit of meat sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Classic number seven.

I'm just going back to North Carolina about why it's illegal to play six hours straight. Basically, all gambling was illegal in North Carolina. But then there was this thing about charities wanted to do bingo. So they had to make it legal so the charities could do it. But they didn't want to encourage people to open bingo holes where people gamble all the time. So they put in these really tight restrictions. So as well as only being able to play for five hours at a time, you're not allowed two games of bingo within a 48-hour period of each other to be held in the same building.

And also no alcohol allowed, which kind of defeats the point, I think, really. I didn't think it was a boozy thing. I think of it as being tea time. No. Well, they have like these days, they have like bingo nights out that you can go on, which are really boozy. So do you play bingo? Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. I was so cynical about it until about five years ago. I was like,

who's going to Bingo? What a stupid night out? Who cares if you've got a number on a thing and you dabbing, you dabber on it? And then I went and it was the most exhilarating thing I've ever done. It's absolutely incredible. Like I'm getting goosebumps thinking about bingo. It's because it's hard. It's like it's hard to do, which I didn't expect. Is it? Look, I know you're all very intelligent. Bingo is hard. I think that was all the numbers.

I know. Yeah. I know the first hundred. I do know the first hundred. And you only need to 90, so you're going to be fine. Oh, really? It only goes up to 90. Didn't know that?

Great. But it's fast and it's quick and they take no prisoners. If you go, oh, sorry, what was? They've moved on. Oh, really? Not again about it. Much like at Stalingrad, no prisoners taken there. So the kind you were playing that was so exciting.

Yeah. Was it? I don't. I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to be mean or anything. Go on. Was it? Classic bingo, which I would think of as like blue rinse bingo. Yeah.

I'm saying like, like, Village Hall. Yeah. Like, you might have been one of the younger clientele. I love the way that you're trying to. What's it in the north, Thaisley? Was it in the north? Was it elderly ladies in the north? It was elderly ladies in the north.

Right. We all had chips and gravy. There was lots of cups of teas rattling on the table. And then it is. Silence like I have never heard before When they go, eyes down for a full house And everyone pin drops out You can hear people's heart beats

It's so exciting A heart has stopped over there Can we get disabled 16? What was that 60? No, wait, oh God, you missed the call. My way! Oh no! I could see how like you could just be in it

and come out and six hours have gone And suddenly you and 17 grannies are being incarcerated. Yeah. Because I know there are nights now that are things like, well, a friend of mine was the first ever host of Rebel Bingo. And there's bonkers Bingo. There's bongoes bingo. And they're sort of big, they're like club nights combined with bingo. They're full, they're full, but they don't sound more full on than.

No, I actually think your blue rins bingo is, like, it's a genuinely exhilarating. night out. We should go on a like a group outing. I don't think we'd be accepted because we would make noise and they wouldn't like it. We just want to chat to each other. Yeah. We do when we're out and if you make the single sound. You'd be leaning over. Interesting thing about the number 37. Yes. I could tell you at the last graduate, Tom, Tom Mix was actually on the front of Sergeant Happens. So like the modern bingo renaissance, let's say, I think came from mecca bingo. Right? So anyone in the towns of the UK will probably have had a mecca bingo or probably still do. And this was invented by Eric Morley. He also invented Strictly Come Dancing. Same guy because he ran a load of dance halls. And so he wanted to get dance halls to be big. So he did strictly. And also when dance halls became less popular, he brought bingo in there. And in 1951, he hosted and was in charge of the first Miss World contest as well. Eric Mawley.

Legs 11. Yes. No fat ladies. The winner was Kiki Hackinson from Sweden. She was crowned wearing her bikini. And the whole event was condemned by friend of the podcast, Pope Pius the 12th. Oh. Who said that the whole thing was completely sinful.

Really? And then he basically said the bikini itself was sinful. Wow. Well, you know. Yeah. Was he wrong? Without sight. But come, so come dancing, the TV show strictly come dancing, dancing for the stars.

His family are basically still earning off the back of that. Morley's family. And rather excitingly, he was born in Hoburn. We are within minutes' walk of the birthplace. Is there a blue plaque? I don't know. There better be. I doubt it.

Mechamingo got in a bit of trouble, actually. Around 1997. Can you guess why? In 1997. That won't help you. Is it something... Sorry. Is it something to do with Muslim people praying?

It is. Is it really? It's basically there were some protests by Muslims saying, we don't really think this name is on. Our religion doesn't really go in for gambling. Actually, now I think about it, I think they have a good point there. Yeah, it was in Luton. And I think maybe they'd opened up in Luton.

Mechabingo, I mean. I think there's quite a big Muslim population there and so there were lots of pressure there were bricks through the windows I'm afraid it all got a bit it all got a bit tense for a while but it is the holiest city in Islam but it's also the catchphrase and what it just meant was like this is a mecca for shopping

or this is only idea was this is a mecca for dancing it just means this is somewhere you you go when you want to dance but obviously where does that word come from I suspect it comes from the fact it's the holiest city yeah so it led to say and they said right we'll change our name and then they didn't And 30 years later, it's fine. And it's still going.

Wow. Eric Morley, he was part of the British sort of raising of bingo. But in America, there was an entirely different person called Edwin S. Lowe, who made it massive there. And he saw it as a game that was being played in carnivals. And he thought, this is an amazing idea. And it wasn't originally called bingo in America. In fact, it had an even more British name that you could imagine. It was called Bino.

Bino was the original name of bingo. Bino is like an American word for. for a party, isn't it? Yes. Yeah, right. Yeah. Like a bean feast, I guess. Yeah.

Wow. Good old bean feast. You don't get enough for them these days. Can I tell you a couple of quick sort of calls that are specifically military? Okay. Because a lot of it dates back to, a lot of it dates back to the early 20th century or even the late 19th century. And the army had allowed bingo, partly because they wanted to allow, not total gambling, but a kind of form. It was a really popular game, and it is gambling.

And really, it's just everyone puts a bit of money in and the winner gets it all. So it's not like a massive. It's not quite, it's not like, I don't know, slot machines or whatever. Yeah. So does the House ever win? Does a game end where no one's worth it? No. House never wins.

But loads of the rhyming calls traditionally date back to 19th century military. You said because it had been allowed in the army in the first place. So 51? Where's my gun? Oh, very nice. The Highland Division. Of course. So catchy, isn't it?

There's also Was she worth it? Seven and six. I don't know why that's seven and six. The price of a lady of the night or? It was the price of a marriage certificate. Yeah, I mean, similar, similar vein, James, but it's slightly different. That says a lot about my relationship, doesn't it?

Ah, a sex worker. A wife. Oh, that's it. What a contrary, though, if they were the same price if you were sent off again. Why did they put the marriage certificate? office next to the brothel. How did you know that, Amy?

Just straight out there. That was the price. Seven and six was the price of America. Sometimes bingo knowledge is just in my bones. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really impressed. All right.

Well, last one. Pompey Hort, 24. Oh, dear. That's Portsmouth. It's Portsmouth sailors on leave. Oh, no. Sorry, that's where I met my wife. Wife.

Yeah. This episode of No Such Things of Fish is brought to you by Airbnb. What's the longest you've ever been away from home, James? Oh, in recent years it's when we've been touring. Yes, same. Same, same. Which is what, a month? Ooh, well, I came back early.

Oh, yes, you did. As the people of Wellington will remember. But I think it was about nearly three weeks that we were away. I mean, it was a long old time. So when your house is empty in that time, presumably you put your own house. house on Airbnb and made a little bit of extra money. Well, I didn't actually, but that's only because I didn't know about the co-host network on Airbnb. It's quite convenient. You hire a high-quality local co-host who takes care of your home and your guests while you're away. So they create

your listing, they manage reservations, they message guests, they do on-site support, and they do design and styling. Design and styling. I mean, frankly, my home could do with that regardless. You could do with it yourself. All right. But yeah, a co-host can do the hosting. for you. And if you want to find a co-host, then you can go to airbmb.com.com.com slash host. Lovely stuff. Stop the podcast. Stop the podcast. Hi, everybody. Just wanted to let you know that this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Yes, Squarespace. They are the all-in-one website, platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online, whether you're starting out or scaling up your business. They give you everything

you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, Get paid, and we all like getting paid, don't we, Andy? Oh, yes. Squarespace, it's really good. It does so many things. Whether that's cutting-edge design tools, they've got amazing tools to allow you to design something gorgeous and that feels personal to you.

That's exactly the way you want it to look. There are SEO tools, which allows you to show up more often on search engines. There are functions for fundraising via donations. There are functions for including video libraries. There's all sorts on there, and you can basically make something that's exquisitely crafted and works really well

to tell or sell whatever it is that you're trying to do. What I'm hearing is that this is the best place to go to make a website and if you would like to do so, go to Squarespace.com slash NSTAAF for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code that same abbreviation, NSTAAF and you'll save 10% of your first purchase of a website or domain. Brilliant, that's right. Squarespace.com

slash NSTWAF Don't be a square Get your space Lovely Do you think they'll go for it Oh yeah On with the podcast On with the show

Okay It is time for fact number two And that is Andy My fact is that in 2010 It was reported That Pizza Express Was training its staff How to flirt

subtly with customers So they felt more relaxed Is it more relaxing? I wouldn't It depends on the flirting, doesn't it? If it's just someone being friendly and attentive, but is that flirting? Not normally, no. This was reported basically as just a thing that Pizza Express were trying.

I think it was in their Richmond branch and they'd hired an actor to train the staff to just, you know, be a bit extra friendly, I suppose. He said, there's a difference between flirting with someone and coming onto them. We're not asking them to do that. That would be mad. It was slow down service, among other things, you know. But if you're a guy And a really gorgeous Italian girl Comes to your table

It's great to meet somebody like that And says do bowls, sir No, it's just the way I'm sat Yeah And it's even better to hear her talk With Passion and Authenticity About the ingredients on the menu That's the flirtation we're talking about

Again, I just think that falls under normal waitressing Also, I don't know if Mr James knew How many of the Pizza Express staff Are actually Italian Because it's certainly around my local It's not required Maybe people like flirting with you Maybe that's just a natural thing, Andy

Oh, they're not flirt, no, they're not Absolutely not No, no, no So they didn't take it beyond this first And only Pizza Express They reported that they were considering rolling it out And there the trail goes cold Right

Yeah It would be very tricky for the staff To hear one day like oh The job roll has changed ever so slightly You're still serving the pizza You still taking their orders You do need to sort of Really sort of sexually excite the customers now

Excuse me? Yeah, it's like you do the doubles, you know, you make sure they've had their starters, and then you just sort of look at their lips a lot. And you're like, no, well, obviously, not going to do that. If someone looks at my lips when I was in Pizza Express, I would assume I had an olive on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flirting is actively not encouraged in quite a lot of industries. They actively say, don't flirt.

I saw a headline talking about New York taxi drivers. This was genuinely the headline. I think it was in the independent. New York taxi. taxi drivers to be banned from flirting with or ejaculating on passengers. I think flirting can go too far at times. I mean, he's facing the wrong way, or she. You'll never guess who I ejaculates you know last week.

Damn, what is this headline? It was just New York officials. It said that they need to ban because flirting would be happening and people were complaining and they had people writing in saying I'm sorry I feel uncomfortable in the back of the cab when I'm being flirted with

and or ejaculated on Oh stop it Wow But for it to be banned It must be happening At a frequency that's enough For it to need banning I actually think there were already laws

against to ejaculates There's a sauna in Leeds Where there's a sign in the sauna That says do not piss and it says piss it doesn't say you're in it just do not piss on the coals

and you're like well how often is it happening that they needed a sign you'd be mad to put that up and no one has ever pissed on the car absolutely because in a way I'd be like well I'd never thought of that I wonder if it steams more than water

so question is it is it worse to piss on the coals as in is that going into your paws you know? I don't know it'll be fine it'll be fine It'll be fine. Because it's water, it'll... It's water vapour.

What's the problem? Are you the person that pissed? I'm not... I'm not... I'm not... I'm just saying. It also contains urea... Right.

...urin. And that's not going to be... There's going to be an ammonia in the air. There'll be ammonia in the air, definitely. No one's denying that. I just said it is... There will be a tang in the air. I just don't know if breathing in vaporized pisses...

I know it's not nice. I know it's not nice. But I just don't know if it's... It depends how much, doesn't it? Quantity is all. That's the problem. Your honour It's like

I just don't know if it's any worse Your Honour I'm just pissed on the calls I don't think it affects anything Did you see this personally Yes I said Wow

And then I was sat And sort of like Pull your pants back up Okay Whoops Oh no Oh no Good Lord

Yeah Piss on the It sounds like a saying Like I wouldn't piss on his cold You know It's So flirting Amy, you make a show about

Love Dating Romance Yes, yeah Called Northern News No, called Single Ladies in your area Single Ladies, okay, I just wanted to ask If you have encountered this Because you've been on dating apps and stuff Oh yeah, big time Have you encountered people

flirting with you Who you suspect of using Artificial Intelligence? I've never considered that Because this is a thing that's been coming up in the news More and more this year people are basically coming up with responses to questions

by putting it into chat GPT or whatever and then saying and then people are going on dates with them and finding, oh, you're not interesting or funny at all because everything they've done is basically been mediated through and sometimes you'll get two people using chat GPT talking to each other and then it's basically two robots talking to each other using the medium of humans.

Wow. I know. But you haven't found that? No, I don't think so. and if they are using chat GPT and that's been punched up I would hate to see what this started with because if they need chat GPT

to get to what you've been up to this weekend question mark kiss then AI is not taking over and fine the person who one of the founders of Bumble who's Whitney Wolf heard reckons that soon we'll be able to have sort of AI versions of ourselves

that have basically all of my life or things that I would be likely to say will be in this AI version and then you might have your AI version and our two AIs can meet and see if they get on and if our little robots meet and get on then we will get on in real life yeah I mean it kind of makes sense

it makes sense yeah is that a world you want to live in it's pretty odd isn't I'm out of that world now I have zero opinion on it really I suppose the experience of being on the apps is so boring and annoying and you know lots of people chat to you for a bit and then don't get them just disappear without anything like i can imagine any shortcut to not doing that anymore would be seen as a

good thing yeah well i tried it i tried chat gpte generated flirting oh yeah on whom on my wife oh okay okay but i just asked chatty pt can you come up with something flirtatious for me to say to my wife yep line one your laugh is my favorite song and your arms are my favorite place to be oh yeah she just she said okay I thought this is going well I'll follow it up you still give me butterflies

I must have done something amazing to deserve you and she said what's going on very much have you crashed the car like what yeah yeah yeah yeah and then I said

I would love to answer this but you have no more free chats left please upgrade to pro to continue that sealed the deal she said you got me here upstairs now Wow, we. That's amazing. Grim.

Can I tell you some historical flirting techniques from Lancashire where I'm from? Oh, okay. There was a thing called promenading or promenading where a load of boys and girls would stand on opposite sides of a road to each other. And they wouldn't say anything. They'd just try and make eye contact with each other and sort of like smile and stuff like that. And then everyone would go home. and if the girl fancied the boy she would leave a cake outside his house

and then that would mean they were dating So you would know Feels like that could create confusion What if you had eye contact with two people And you have found one cake outside your house Yeah Oh yeah Maybe the cake has their name on it

That's a good idea Is this in your day or is this Still my day, Dan Still my day Got the 7 and 6 ready Oh no this is early 20th century So a little bit before my day Just on the cusp

And then there's a guy called Spanking Roger Who's one of my favourite people in history And he got together with his partner Through a thing that used to happen On the Moors just outside Manchester And they would have a naked race Of all the young lads in the town And then the girls would sort of stand there watching

And sort of eye up the form of everyone there And then a bit later They'd all go down the pub And they'd go, oh yeah, I like the look at you Oh my God Did he be called spanking Spanking Roger? Yeah

Because he was also a boxer What no What was it? Some per the question No He would beat people up Like beat people in the ring He'd give you

Come on He'd give you a spanking Yeah Right right right Wow It's like a live naked attraction Yeah Before it happened

But moving On naked attractions You don't know how well They can move They're just standing there They're just Good point actually That's a really good point.

Tell me, Amy, why do humans flirt? Why do humans flirt? Why do we not just come up to each other and say, I want to have sex with you and then have children that way? Oh, I don't know. It'd be much easier if we were allowed to do that, wouldn't it? God, I honestly think that would be fantastic. Imagine we can all just be honest and be like,

you're physically attractive. I think we should push our meat sacks together. Like, I think that would just be so much easier. There's a New York taxi driver listening to this right now. Preach! I guess there must be some sort of evolutionary thing. Is it to see if you're like a good match? Kind of, yeah.

So the problem is that humans used to spend a lot of time in very small groups. And if you decide that you want to get together with someone and they were buffed you, you can't just move to London and then sort of move to a new place and get a new life or anything. You're stuck in that place. So the only way to do it is to get a new life. give very sort of small signals that you can deny if someone says, you know, so it's

deniability, basically. Wow. That's clever. Because there is this thing of lots of people don't know when they're being flirted with. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm afraid, Amy, women are especially bad at it. Is this just your personal opinion? You're like, I flirt all the time and no one gives me anything bad.

Genetically, they're just not good at it. Well, it's actually it's women and men. But women sort of sometimes underperceive when they're being flirted with, and men overperceive it. So it will often be like male students when asked, they're likelyer than women to misinterpret friendly gestures as sexual interest. And many mistake, but many people do mistake sexual cues as amicable signals. But often, if you're a straight man, the nervous woman smiling at you is not flirting with you. She's nervous and you're thinking, oh, she's flirting with me. And women underestimate her.

And there is a theory that this leads to the idea of the friend zone, which is not a real, or it's the idea that the friend zone is not a real thing. It's the people are just drastically misinterpreting each other's cues. And men are saying, oh, I've been friend zoned. And actually, that's not what has happened. It's just that she's just not that into you, to point a phrase. And so, yeah, yeah, it's tricky. And I think a lot of women, I think you are really having to be friendly

if you're, like, feeling unsafe. So, you know, like, if you're, like, on a train and a scary man's, it's next to you, and he might think he's flirting and you kind of can't say please don't talk to me I hate this so you have to go like oh really oh that's nice

and he'll be like she's into it but you're thinking don't harm me don't kill me don't fly don't where I live but you're I guess you're giving off kind of friendlyish signals as a kind of safety device and I guess guys will be like

she loves this there is only one way around this and that is boys on one side of the road Girls on the other side of the road. There's subtle link. Lots of cakes. I think any flirting with cakes is fantastic. Can I tell you something very quickly

that I found that links in, I guess, sexy stuff and pizza emporiums? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. So there was an article that said, Pizza Hut responds to furious whole customer who claims ketchup bottle label

sounds like Swinger's app. So I was like, well, what the hell are they calling their ketchup in Pizza Hut? Do you want to guess what they name it? Squirty. Yeah. So they call it shake, squeeze and squirt. And he was like, that is too sexual. Yeah.

Is it? That's great directions. I think if it's on a ketchup bottle, I think it's not too sexual. Yeah. Context is all. Yeah. Yeah. There's a penis tattoo.

If you just tap it on the top, it'll come out of a quicker. Turn it upside down and bang the bottle. some really hard. It doesn't work. Stick a knife for a day. Okay, it is time for fact number three, and that is my fact. My fact this week is that in 1931, Laurel and Hardy simultaneously filmed up to five versions of every movie that they made, each time speaking in a different language, despite the fact

that they only knew English. This is a fascinating bit of Hollywood, which often doesn't get mentioned, which is when it was the silent era, when you were sending movies over to Europe or any other country, it was very easy. You replace the card with the words on it, right? And so people had these massive fan bases all over the world. Laurel and Hardy in particular had a big, big fan base in Spain and Italy and other countries in Europe. And then when it became the talkie movies, suddenly they were not understanding it. And they didn't have the technology to do subtitles at the time. So what used to happen was, and this was an idea of Hal Roach, who was this amazing movie mogul, he said, we're going to film every single scene of everything you film from now, in up to five different languages, and they had to learn phonetically how to say all of the dialogue. There was half an hour of rehearsals for each scene where they had to learn the phrases. They had speech coaches of the language there with them, telling them to do it. You know what I thought when I read this is there's no way they did it very well, right?

because as someone who's learning a language right now you can know exactly how to say something but you try and say it until a native speaker it doesn't quite sound right. Yeah, so that's definitely true and I think the interesting thing was I read a report about it which said Spanish audiences took special satisfaction

in seeing Laurel Orhardy squirming under the burden of a difficult Castilian phrase. And so it's sort of almost funnier seeing, knowing that they're having to do it and knowing they can't do it very well. Everyone else was a perfect speaker So they surrounded them in the different versions.

So all the other actors were perfect. I presume, or maybe they subbed in the actors and like, so right, get the Spanish cast in now. Yeah. And they'll do it with them. So, yeah, that might have been it. A lot of these movies are now lost because they weren't the main thing that people were keeping for posterity, right?

Like the English-speaking versions were. But it's exactly that. They loved it when Laurel O'Hardy could just mumble a sentence. And they're like, that doesn't matter. It's comedy. It's fine. We just want to see them falling over with a piano. Yeah.

I bet they knew how to say, Oh, no. Piano in so many different languages. The great thing about piano is it's the same in almost every language. Yeah, perfect. But yeah, I was thinking about double acts because Amy, you're part of a double act. Or were? Still am. Still am.

The delightful sausage. Yeah. Yeah. It's a catchy name. That we never thought we would be a double act. We just needed to run a comedy night together. And we was like, what should we call it? And Chris had literally just had breakfast and he said, that was a delightful sausage.

And we were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll do that. I'll do it. Ten years later, we're like, we should have thought about that name just like a bit more. It's a great name. Do you think? It's an amazing. I mean, the word sausage is the funniest word in the word. We recently learned as part of no such thing as a fish that the word sausage has been in our titles more than any other word out there, outside of like with and or and so on. It's our number one word. So you know, you're on to something. Wow. Because you could have gone something and something and something. Yeah.

And that's like Laurel and Hardy is the classic one and, you know, Canada Ball, Hail and Pace, all of that, all those things like the Mighty Boosh where it's not clear that it's a double-act. Yes. I reckon the Mighty Boosh

is similar to your name because that's named after his hair, wasn't it? Like, Norfieldings in that. You've got a mighty bush. Yeah. Oh my God.

Oh, wow. So, one of you got a... He's flirting. He's flirting. I feel unsafe. But yeah, Chris does have a huge boosh. Hey, there's another technique,

by the way, that I've seen a double act using comedy where they don't speak the language. Rick Mail and Adrian Edmondson, they often used to speak backwards in their scenes. So Guest House Paradiso, their movie, they would speak backwards a line because the comedy stunt that they were doing was so dangerous that it only worked if you played it in reverse.

So rather than throwing spiky nails into the nose of Rick Mail, you would take them out with him going and then you would get the line played forward. And the scene played for it. And Amy, do you know what the word sausage is backwards? Jesus. Jesus? Sausage. Oh my God.

Well, son of, yeah. Oh, my God. Wow. Dan, I've seen Gestile's parody so about five times. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's in the bonus. VHS. There we go.

Documentary. No one watches the bonuses like you're done. It's such a good film It's great Laurel and Hardy Have you seen any of their stuff Amy Yeah I have seen stuff But I wouldn't say I'm you know

Is it ridiculous to explain who they are To an audience I think so I think so Yeah Comedy double act Stan Laurel was tall and thin And lugubrious looking

And Ollie Hardy was And British And Ollie Hardy was sort of a big Big fellow with a moustache And Laurel was always Doing silly things and Ollie Hardy was always annoyed with him and they were mega famous

they were sort of globally famous if you name any other silent movies like Charlie Chaplin Buster Keaton they're in absolutely that sort of echelon and I started looking into their lives so Oliver Hardy had a very interesting early

life so his real name was Norvel but his father Oliver Hardy's dad fought in the American Civil War really what is the timeline of that isn't that nuts Was it like a hilarious sort of battle that he was in?

20,000 people were killed in that custard pie fight. Yeah, no, his father was a sergeant in the Confederate Army. Wow. And that's the 1860s. Then Oliver Hardy was born in 1892. So, like, it all worked. Like, he fought in the Civil War as a very young man. And then 30 years later, he had Oliver.

But, like, yeah, it's extraordinary. Ollie's grandfather was a slave owner. Right. Oh, my God. The generations you have to go to get back to that period, it's so few. Yeah, yeah, you know. He's famous, while we're just mentioning their sort of classic traits, for looking at the camera with a really frustrated face.

Like that was... Like the Miranda. Like the Miranda look, exactly. Fleabag bag, original filmag. And there's a story that goes that in order to get the best performance out of him, Stan Laurel, who was really kind of the mastermind behind the two of them, He was the real thinker. He knew comedy inside out.

He was a James Harkin of that group. Yeah, exactly. Bossy. Bossy. The kind of guys would piss on some coals, you know? So he used to get Hardy to do those frustrated looks into the camera at the end of the day because he knew that at the end of the day, Hardy wanted to get out of there and got on the golf course.

He was like, I want to play golf, and he would keep him a bit. He was the James Harkin. Yeah, exactly. And so those frustrated looks, were growingly real, real, because he was like, I'm meant to be out of here. I found some nice things about Stan that I really liked. Did you know that he, so he was doing hydroponic gardening, that was one of his loves. Oh, really?

And he once crossbread, a potato and an onion, but couldn't get anyone to sample the results. That was tragic. Was this after he was famous? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I think it sounds incredible. Like if you're making a hot pot, you only have to put one thing in.

ultimate time saver he was from the lake district didn't know that from all swatter oh i read olverston oh is that something they're very close by they both begin with you yeah

well it's now home to what's described as the world's only laurel and hardy museum is it really weird there's only one that is weird it's not weird it's completely normal

there's only one museum dedicated entirely to laurel and Hardy okay maybe there should be two two tops I opened up a Laurel and Hardy cafe and ice cream bar in Kosovo back in 2003.

What? What? So I was going to say when we were describing who. So I think I'm going to say lie. What are you going to say, hey, me? I'm going with true. I think it's true. I think it's like a double bluff.

I think it's true. What the hell? Well, I was saying it wasn't my own money that was evolved, but I was living in Kosovo when I was 18. Who wouldn't back that with big capital? the dragons are all they're all in they're fighting to get you and where are you doing this Kosovo

Debram Eden's out of the chair shaking your hand yes I'll take it yes I'm in I'm all in there was a guy out there who I became friends with through my grandmother and he was like you like comedy I was like yeah he was like I'm opening a cafe and I want it to be themed and we spoke about it And we landed on the restaurant would be the Hardy restaurant.

And you would have the ice cream bar, which was Stan. And so it was all, it was all, you know, the images of them were up on the walls and you could buy statues. But they were massive in Kosovo. My statues, of course. I'm not hungry. I had a big lunch. I'll just have a statue of Oliver Hardy, please. Not in the shop.

You didn't buy statues of the shop. That'd be crazy. Yeah, yeah. We're just outside there'll be a go. The next shot. The next shot. Because Norman Wisdom was big in Albania, I think you guys might know. They loved him there.

Oliver Hardy and Stan Laurel, huge in that bit of the world as well. Is it still trading? I don't know. I haven't been back for some. I imagine it. Camp, come out of business. There's our franchises in every city in the Balkans. Stop the podcast.

Stop the podcast. Andrew, did you know that going online without ExpressVPN is like scuba diving in a suit made of meat? It's a great idea if you want to meet lots of sharks. I don't. I don't want to meet lots of. Well, I want to meet them on my terms. I guess what I'm saying is that there's lots of sharks out there who are trying to get your personal data. And going online without ExpressVPN is like an invitation for them.

So chomp, chomp, chump, chump. I understand that incredibly frightening metaphor, to be honest. Yeah, no, we are sponsored this week by ExpressVPN. Basically, every time you connect to an unencrypted network, cafe, hotel, airport, you name it. Your online data is not really secure. Any hacker on the same network can gain access to your personal data. It doesn't take a huge amount of technical knowledge.

And frankly, your data's valuable and you want it to stay yours. Absolutely. ExpressVPN works on all devices, phones, laptops, tablets. It's so easy to use. You just fire up the app and click one button. and it is super secure. It would take a hacker with a supercomputer over a billion years

to get past ExpressVPN's encryption and the one thing about those hackers, they don't have that much time. No. It's been rated number one by TopTech reviewers. It's important to keep yourself safe online. I've done it and it does give you peace of mind, I would say. Yeah, absolutely. We all use ExpressVPN and you can too.

You can secure your online data today by visiting ExpressVPN.com slash fish. That's E-X-P-R-E-S-V-P-N. com slash fish to find out how you can get up to four extra months. That's right. ExpressVPN.com slash fish. Okay, on with the podcast. On with the show.

Okay, it's time for our final fact of the show, and that is James. Okay, my fact this week is that the character of Aunt Bessie was invented in 1994 to stop people mistaking yorkshire puddings for nuclear weapons quick question who's aunt bessie I can't believe that you don't know who aunt bessie educate the boy Aunt Bessie is a maternal figure

who makes Yorkshire puddings she's like the patron saint of Hull yeah okay I can't believe she's not widely known I've never heard of her but she's not real right she's not real she was invented in 1994 to stop people

mistaken Yorkshire puddings for nuclear weapons. Right. So up until that point, would you go to Sunday lunch and go, whoa, everyone out! Everyone out! Well, it's worse because when they were trying the nuclear tests, often they just threw a big Yorkshire pudding into it. A lot of Hawaiian islands were destroyed by massive Yorkshire puddings being dropped on them. So basically, this company that makes Yorkshire puddings was originally called Triton. They're based in Hull, and they did market research and found that people associated the name

Triton with the UK's nuclear deterrent, which is Trident. And only 4% of people associated the word with Yorkshire pudding. So they decided to come up with a new brand. And that new brand was Aunt Bessie. And they are the biggest makers of Yorkshire pudding, probably in the world, but definitely in Britain. They make millions of them. They can't be anywhere outside Britain that makes more Yorkshire puddings than Britain.

You know, sometimes you just find out, oh, it happens that they're massive in Bolivia. Kosovo, there's this huge factory. It's themed around Harold Lloyd, but it's... Instead of custard pies, we use Yorkshire puddings in the restaurant. Yeah. Should we tell what a Yorkshire pudding is? For international listeners. Okay, for those of you, not in Yorkshire or Bolivia, it is...

It's batter, so that's flour and water and eggs. And you get some hot oil, and you make it really, really hot, and then you put the batter into it and it puffs up into a delicious, crispy thing that you eat with meat and gravy. You can have them as desserts as well, you know? Oh, yeah?

Yeah, you can put ice cream in. Have you done that? Yeah, it's really cool. It's actually the best day ever. We went for a roast dinner. In London, actually, it wasn't even in the north. We had a Sunday lunch with huge Yorkshire puddings, and then on the menu,

you can get Yorkshire pudding with three scoops of ice cream in. Wow. It's just like a waffle. It's like a waffle. It's like a pancake, isn't it really? It feels decadent to that sort of, you know. Because is that still made with beef dripping? Are you adding ice cream to beef dripping?

I presume so, yes. I've got to say that is a step too northern for me. Have you been to the factory that makes them? I've driven past it a million times, but I've never been in. How interesting. I hear, this is an interesting question for you. People who work there, some of them have reported. that as they drive past, even if they work

in a different industry, they feel the call of the factory to work there. What are you talking about? Okay, so the factory's Yorkshire pudding guru, as he's known, David Barr, that's how he ended up working there. He used to work in fish.

He was always in the fish industry, and he used to pass it every day, and he's like, oh, I feel I need to be in there. And he applied three times for the job. What's that movie where they sort of make the spaceship out of mashed potatoes? Close and counter to the,

This is like the Yorkshire version of that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, he felt the calling and he went for three interviews and he failed the first two and he said, finally he got the job when they just asked him why he wanted to join the company. And he went, I just love Yorkshire puddings. And they're like, you're in. And he's now literally the top of the heap.

He is the man. He's the guru is his title there. It's like Willy Wonka of Yorkshire. Yeah, exactly. That's a good film. I mean, it's pretty crazy, isn't it? Like the amount that they produce. Every day they use more than half a million eggs in order to make.

This is in the Christmas season where it really ramps up and they have to bring in more staff who've all felt the calling. It's a pretty incredible process. It's like a wonder if they do do tours. Like visitors can go because I would genuinely be interested in going. I'm sure your career has allowed you now. Do you think? Do you think I've got the key to the factory?

Oh, you've got a poll. What's the point of getting all these awards and like all these amazing podcast if you can't then get into the Yorkshire potty parts of right part of Hull's second greatest comedy double act of course you're getting in I'm sorry Hale and pace geniuses are they from Hull Gareth Hale is from Hull yeah amazing what if he's been to the factory of course he has got a key he's got a key he can go in any time he's probably shagged aunt Bessie he's wow can I can ask you something about Hull yes please so um Hull got

listed as part of Lonely Planet's 500 travel experiences in the UK, unmissable experiences and hidden in the 500. You made one entry, yeah, in the 500. You were listed 483 and it was a public toilet. No. Yeah. What's the experience to have? It was Victoria Peer's public toilet. Have you been? Yeah. Is it good? No. But is it historical? Is it beautiful? Yeah. He's kind of beautiful, the outside but if you actually use the toilet itself harrowing. It's better than you're pissing in a sauna. I don't think it is.

If I genuinely, if I had a choice, would 100% go for the sauna clothes? At least then you're in a sauna. Yeah. That's nice. It's actually a good way of getting rid of human excrement, isn't it? In a way. A sauna? Yeah, like it means you don't have to have drains or anything because it just

evaporates. You breathe it all in. You breathe in that piss. That's what I'm saying. Well, what I'm thinking is maybe... But it's number ones only. It's number one totally. We're going to have to update that sign outside. Imagine the disdain of the person writing. Oh, shit. Don't make me write or ejaculate.

You taxi drivers. Which one of you taxi drivers? Hey, I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Hold Patty? Patty butty Patty buddy? You've ever had one? No I never have

What's a patty buddy What? You don't know what a patty butty is I'm from Lancashire All I know about hollets The wrong end of the M62 If you end up there You've gone seriously wrong Yeah you've really gone wrong there

So a patty is A potato It's like mashed potato With lovely herbs in Deep fried To make it sort of like It's almost like a potato fritter But then you have

have it in a breadcake or a bread bun or however you want to say that and you pack vinegar onto it till it's dripping and it's fantastic that's so nice because it's so good it's a really traditional hull dish it's traditionally made by the maidens of hull by hand did they roll it on their thighs like the Cuban cigars just wipe the oil off on your thighs it's very hard to tell sometimes if you're in Hull or Havana But if you smell the vinegar, that's when you know. You know your flirting's gone well when you can smell the vinegar.

On the whole maiden. But there was this whole group of women and they were called patty slappers. Oh, wow. I just wonder, is that known in Hull? I didn't know that, but I've just got a new idea for a show. Wow, that's incredible. You've got the Lemsip Factory?

Really? Isn't that cool? I don't know. I owe a great deal. I owe a great deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wreck it is the firm binder. Yeah. That's very cool. Actually, there's quite a fun thing which was this team called the Drunk Animal Creative Studio set up these things of alternative blue plaques to commemorate the locals that had done interesting things. Have you seen those? I think I've, yeah, I think I've heard of it, but I don't know if I've seen any. So, like, an example would be, on this spot, last Monday, Tom Piper got lucky. That was one. Here was one.

Ronnie Pickering, 2015, became an internet sensation near here for his red citron Picasso. Is he from Hull, Ronnie Pickering? Yeah, he's from Hull. That's amazing. You know Ronnie Pickering, but you don't know, I'm Bessie. This is wild. If I'm Bessie, maybe threaten someone from a car, maybe I would have never. I'm not fucking Bessie.

Who? Me. Bessie! Oh, God. Oh, that's so cool. Yeah, they're really fun. I love that. That's lovely.

There's a really cool hero as well called Carl Bushby. Have you heard of him from Hull? He decided in 1998 he was going to walk the world, right? Wow. So he started in Chile, and the idea was to end up back in Hull. So it was going to take him 10 years, so he should have been back in 2010. He's still walking. Did he not realize that the other?

Atlantic Ocean is in between those two places. Yeah, yeah. It's a bit of problem. He's keeping walking on. There must be a land bridge here. He had so many problems. He's expected to end it in September of next year. He's still walking.

Do we know where he is? He just, he was just walking through Turkey, and I think he's just crossed the border now. That's good. That's walking is good. I mean, it's been really hard because you had to have, you know, three month of visas were a problem when you were walking Russia, you know, like that was an issue. I'll tell you what, if he's coming up from Turkey. You know where he's about to go past.

Where? Kosovo. Carl, you know where to go. Kohl, you'll get yourself a free statue of Stan, not Olly. Okay, that's it. That is all of our facts. Thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to get in contact with any of us about the things that we've said over the course of this podcast, we can all be found on our social. media accounts. I'm on Instagram on at Schreiberland, James. My Instagram is no such thing as James

Harkin. Andy. I'm on Instagram at Andrew Hunter and Amy. I am at that Amy Gledhill on Instagram. Yeah. And also if you want to hear any of Amy's podcast, Amy, where do they go? Well, I think there would be a good Venn diagram overlap with Northern News podcast as James and Andrew have both done that, but have been brilliant guests on it. And we find new stories from the north, silly, ones and we have a laugh about them. And then if you're interested in the flirting what we've talked about, I also do single ladies in your area. And that is about being single and how hard that is actually. But it's fun and it's lighthearted. And Dan, maybe you can come on that one because if we've had these two on Northern News, you could be a guest on single ladies. Okay. I am a single lady,

so that makes sense. But yeah, so definitely go listen to those. And if you want to write into us as a group about any of the things that we've said on this podcast. You can do that by writing to podcast at QI.com. All the emails make their way to Andy. He loves to cherry pick the best of them and they head towards our extra bonus show that is sitting in our special members club, Clubfish. It's called Drop Us a Line. So send them there. We'll read them out and discuss them. If you haven't joined Clubfish, head to No Such Thing as a Fish.com. All of the details are there. It'll send you to Patreon. Check it out. Be part of the club. Otherwise, do just come back here next week because we're going to be back with another episode. We'll see you then. Goodbye.