No Such Thing As A Fish - 94: No Such Thing As Sexy Mucus Pajamas

Episode Date: January 1, 2016

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aircraft-building ferrets, yeti custody battles and presidential colonoscopies.

Hello and welcome to another episode of those such thing as a fish a weekly podcast this week coming to you from the Up the Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich. My name is Dan Schreiber. I'm joined as ever by Anna Chazinski, James Harkin and Andy Murray. Once again, we have gathered around the microphones, but this time with your favorite facts from the last seven days and in no particular order, here we go. Okay. Andy.

I have a fact about the silver age of comics. Who's that from? Hey, hello. Should we do a Twitter fact while we're waiting for the microphone to get over? So this was sent in to us by John Winterholt. There is a chemical called arsol. Nobody knows what it smells like yet. So I tweeted him back to say, is that true?

And he said, yeah, I study arsol for a living. Apparently true. He also, so then he also told me that there's another one called arspain, which is true as well. And he said there's, interestingly, there's a mineral found near the town of Cummington, Massachusetts, and that's been called coming tonight. There's one called Welshite was Welshite, but it's named after a guy called somebody Welsh or something.

Yeah. There's a molecule called, I think it's nitrogen triiodide. It's one of the most crazy molecules you can get for a molecule. It's pretty crazy, but apparently it will blow up if a mosquito lands on it. Yeah. Really? Yeah. It's the energy of a mosquito landing on it will make it explode.

Is the mosquito all right? It's just a molecule, isn't it? It's probably fine. Yeah. Shall we go to the fact? What's your name? Charlie. Hi, Charlie.

What's your fact, Charlie? I'm from the late 50s slash 60s, comics with gorillas on the front sold considerably more than comics without DC Comics, but gorillas on every single copy, even there's no gorillas inside. That's so good. Amazing. Pretty good. Wow.

That's good. So Superman would just be tackling a gorilla on the front, and then it had no relevance to the story. It was a comic with Superman and a gorilla was sending him a ticket. Oh, like a zoo ticket, I think. Why would a gorilla be selling a zoo ticket? That's them colluding in their own imprisonment. Do you know what gorillas' favourite films are?

No. No. This sounds like the stats of a joke. Now this was, I read this weekend in the Sunday Times somewhere, and it's by a musician who's really famous by comment, but who it is because I don't know anything about music. He's hung out with people who studied gorillas, and they gave him a bunch of films, and they worked out which ones the gorillas asked with their hands to watch the most frequently. And what do you reckon the gorillas' favourite film is?

Planet of the Apes. Very good. No. Planet of the Apes. Really? And then their second favourite was a film about Sasquatch, a Yeti, and so obviously they feel very close to Yetis. Maybe they are genetically somehow related, I think they think.

And the third favourite was just Dan's Stand-Up. But he didn't subject them to that, James, you know, the RSPCA would get involved. I watched The Mummy 3 on the weekend, there's a Mummy 3, there's a scene in it where there's just so much chaos going on, the terracotta warriors have become alive, there's this old Chinese group of skeletons that have come back up, it's Jason and the Argonaut style, and then suddenly these two giant Yetis come in and the good guys go, oh, oh, Yetis, and the Yetis are like, we're good guys, and they go, great, and then everyone just accepts it, it's just fine, we've got Yeti allies now who are helping us.

Do Yetis, in the midst of our Yetis, do they attack people? Yeah, yeah, okay. They can be kind as well, they, there's a, I regret asking my original question, there's a lady in Bhutan who claims that she lived and had children with Yeti, and the Yeti, they had about six children, and then she said that she was going back to society, she wanted to bring the children with them, but the Yeti said, that's not going to happen, so they went to Yeti court, and the Yeti won custody of the children, and that's why she doesn't have them.

In Bhutan, this is a stretch of a link, but every government policy has to justify itself according to its world happiness index rating, doesn't it? Yes, national happiness. Yeah, so every time you make a policy, you have to say how it's going to affect the gross national happiness, and it's the only country where it's like made that, put that into policy. I've been to Bhutan, yeah, I have been to Bhutan, I remember I went to the National Museum, because I wanted to see the world's biggest book, they claim to have the world's

biggest book, and it's a book about Bhutan. How convenient. I was in the museum, and they had a rat problem, someone had seen a rat, but because it was run by monks, because it's quite a Buddhist country, they weren't allowed to hurt the rat in any way, so they weren't allowed to put poison down, or they weren't allowed to put traps down, or anything like that, so all the monks were just chasing this rat. Wow. What's the name of the very famous gorilla, who's, we talked about it on the...

Coco. Coco. The favourite movie is... I read this on the weekend bizarrely. Okay, so let's just say who Coco is. Yes. So Coco is a gorilla who learns sign language, I think, right? Yeah.

And learn more words in sign language than anyone else. 300 people just picked me up on that today, and is often held up as the fact that animals might be able to learn language. Yeah. So favourite movie, Pretty Woman, really. Oh, no, so inspirational, well done, her. By the way, Pretty Woman, the movie, they did a thing where the hotel that it was filmed in now offers a Pretty Woman package, so you can go, which is the worst message.

Wow. I don't think they've thought that through, properly. Who's it for? It's for couples, yeah. It's for couples. Yeah. It's for couples. Yeah.

Wow. I've got a fact about movies. This is a fact about the movie Leon. Whose fact is about Leon? Whose fact is about the film Leon? Oh, it's over there. Oh, hey, over there. Can you put your hand up, Alex, he'll come and find you.

Cool. In the meantime, I've got a fact that came from Twitter, and this is from someone called atriptor, and the fact was that the 25th amendment allows vice presidents to take over as president when the president incapacitated. It's happened three times, and each time the president was having a colonoscopy. Are those the only three times presidents have been incapacitated? It's since the amendment. Several have been shot and killed.

I keep going. Now, since the amendment was made, there's a thing about colonoscopies that you can explode during a colonoscopy. Do you know that? What? Yeah, because you have a lot of gas buildup in your lower intestines, and sometimes they'll use like a cauterizing heat thing. If you've got a cut, they try and kind of burn it.

And so that heat and the gases can cause people to actually explode, yeah? Right. You would have thought, are they putting some kind of safeguards in place to stop this happening? Or is it just, you know, 50-50, you'll either explode, or... That's kind of like what happens to trees, right? When they get colonoscopies. What do you mean? Similar kind of, you know, when trees are on fire, then sometimes it gets so hot and

there's a buildup of gas inside them and they explode. There's really good videos of trees exploding all over the world. Lightning hits a tree that can explode because all the water turns immediately to water vapor and lots of it is near the middle side. It just goes out. It's cool. Not for the tree. It's bad for the tree.

Do we have Leon's fact yet? Okay. So there's a scene in the movie Leon where there are loads of police cars parked outside a building and while they were filming that scene, a man who had just robbed a shop ran onto the movie set, thought it was the real police and handed himself in. It's such a good fact. Sorry, what's your name? Susie.

Susie. That's an amazing fact. I mean, how long did they let the charade continue? Yeah. God, if they were method actors, they probably would have, right? Taking them to the station then they would have got in trouble themselves. Gary Oldman's going to be arresting you today. Very exciting.

Someone actually tweeted in, this is from Twitter earlier, that Gary Newman is actually three weeks younger than Gary Oldman, unfortunately. Didn't think that's facts about police. Yeah. In ancient Egypt, the police, the head of the police was called the chief of the hitters. That's why we've talked on the podcast about the world's oldest parking fine issued by Jordan's, which was to be decapitated, I believe. Oh, no.

No, no. It was impaled. It was to be impaled, wasn't it? Yeah. On a spike for crossing on the king's land. That was when, yeah, the king owned all of the roads. So I think it was quite hard to get around. Yeah.

And the first ever British parking ticket that was given was accidentally given to a doctor who was making an emergency call to a house. And so they had to override the parking. So the first parking ticket was a cock up and they had to undo it. And I think the first American one was overridden as well. The first American one was a guy who said, I literally just went into the shop for five minutes and I've come back and my ticket's here. And he, you know, appealed and got it overridden.

Has any parking ticket ever been successful? No. All the ones that I've ever got have been. Have I ever told you about the guy in London in, I think it was the 60s or might have been early 70s who electrocuted his car so that when traffic wardens tried to put a ticket on them, they got electrocuted. Wow. He was in like the newspapers and stuff.

He became really famous. Yeah. When he was arrested, right? Yeah. Well, he was arrested. But they let him off in the end because he'd become such a kind of course celebra. Surely electrocuting a policeman is a bigger crime than parking on a double yellow light. Yeah.

Sorry. Like not electrocuted because the word electrocuting means killing by electricity. He electrified them, let's say with like a little bit of a shot. They should have charged him? Yes. He's like an angle grinder man in Kent. He was that superhero. He called himself the real life superhero and he went around with his angle grinder

removing clamps from a car that had been clamped. No one knew who he was for a long time until he did an interview with a newspaper and then people did. Yeah. You know at the end of Iron Man when he says, I'm Iron Man, it's like, what? Was he like, I'm Iron Grander man? And they went, I mean, he could pronounce it. So that helped.

Thought I escaped that. I genuinely as well just ran with it and I'm just going to mush it up so hard. I was like, I'm a Grander man. And then it's like, shall we move on to another fact? Yeah. Let's move on to our next fact. Okay. So this is about a ghost army in World War II.

All right. So while we're waiting for the mic to get over, here's another Twitter one. This is from Matthew Oglesby. The new organist of Leeds Cathedral is David Pipe. That's quite nice. Very good. I'm a massive fan of nominative determinism. Yeah.

Did you meet the guy who coined the term? Yeah. We met him very briefly this way. Yeah. Reginald, a namey, namey, namey. Yeah. The term is... What was the...

Remember, you found the ultimate one, which was to do with... Oh, Henry Head. Yeah. That was it. Yeah. So there was a neuroscientist called Henry Head. And he discovered this thing called Head Zones. You don't have one in your head, but you do have one in the head of your genitals if you're a man.

But he was the head of a journal called Brain. And when he left as head of the journal Brain, he was taken over by a guy called Brain. So Head was the head of Brain until he wasn't the head of Brain anymore. And he was taken over as the head of Brain by Brain, who became the head of Brain. So good. Yeah. That's the ultimate. Yeah.

I mean, no one knew what was going on in that organisation. I saw one the other day, actually. I tweeted about it, let me think. It was a guy who'd written a book about swearing. And he was called Seigadam. That's good. That's good, isn't it? SAI, his first name.

Seigadam. That's nice. Someone sent me one on Twitter the other day, which was a hurdler whose surname is Stambleover. It's so good. I think he actually famously fell over a hurdle. It was a she. It was a she. Yeah.

Potato, potato. I think, didn't she stumble over a hurdle in quite an important and big event? In 2006, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Shall we go on to the facts? Yes. Say your name and your fact, please.

All right. I'm Nora. So my fact was that there was a ghost army in the Second World War, where the Allies used rubber inflatable tanks and recorded troop sounds to trick the German army into thinking the enemy was there. What? There's a ghost army. They called them ghost army because they didn't actually exist.

Yeah, no. Don't get excited, Dan. It's not like the end of Indiana Jones. I like the idea of having inflatable tanks because it means you blow up your own tanks. Nice. Do you know where the word tank comes from? No. No.

So tank was originally a code word. It was never intended to be what tanks were called. And it was, I think Churchill was the head of the organisation which was pioneering tank making. And they were called something like land ships. It was called the land ships organisation or something like that in the First World War when they were developing them. And they just decided to call them tanks as a code word because they were going to send

them into Russia disguised as water tanks. And first of all, they wanted to call them water compartments at first, but because war officers tended to abbreviate things. People kept mixing them up. People kept going and urinating on the military vehicles. So they said we can't call them WCs. But they called them tanks because they wanted the Russians to think they were tanks of water. The Russians were on our side in the First World War.

I know. I said Russians. And I hoped again, like, down that no one could know. It's just a little thing, like, which side we were fighting. People made these mistakes all the time. OK. I think we're going to have to keep moving on because we're short of time, aren't we? Yeah.

OK. Who is Jennifer Matthews? Jennifer Matthews is over here. So parrotfish wear pajamas, protective pajamas at night time, and then they eat them in the morning. Oh, wow. Yeah, I don't see anything special about that. No, that's it.

We said interesting facts. OK. No, that's amazing. So they secrete a mucus that has a hole in the front and a hole in the back so that water can flow through. And the mucus is apparently meant to stop predators from smelling them. And it means that they're protected overnight whilst they sleep. But it's a vital source of protein, so they eat it in the morning.

Oh, my God. No. Amazing. Yeah. Very different. It's not the sexiest pajamas of the world, is it? When you say, I'm just going to go slip into something more beautiful. You're just going to slip into something more mucusy.

How do you like your breakfast? And parrotfish, they're the guys who they make sand as well, do they? Yeah, they poop island. Yeah. What? Bit by bit. For an average parrotfish, they poop 275 grams per day. But the biggest parrotfish can make 90 kilograms.

90 kilograms a day? I don't actually know if it's a day. It might be per year. But the biggest parrotfish... That's quite a difference. When you go to your concert, they... How much are you pooing? Is it either twice a day or twice a year?

How big an island have you produced? But yeah, it's this white sand that they get in the Caribbean and stuff, don't they? Yeah, so they eat coral. And when they eat coral, they eat the tissue off the coral. And then they digest the calcium carbonate skeleton and poop the sand. But entire islands in the Caribbean have been made up by the sand. Wow. So you can basically lie in a pile of sand.

I do that anyway. How do you know so much about parrotfish? I'm a marine biologist. Are you? Oh, nice. You're going to get a wolf whistle for that in many ways. Shall we move on to the... Yeah, let's keep going.

Yeah, let's keep going. So this is about the new tallest building in London. Whose is that? Oh, okay, great. Andy and Twitter one? Actually, this is really similar to the other thing we just had. The fringe-limbed tree frog. Fringe-limbed tree frog parents grow extra layers of skin to feed their tadpoles.

And this is... I like this so much because it's reminded me of my favourite fact at the moment, which is that breast milk, mother's breast milk is made from arses. When you have a baby and you start producing breast milk, it's got fat cells in it. And the fat cells that are taken literally from the mother's bottom first is where they go from. Wow. Yeah. There's a lot of spiders who will eat their mother, aren't there?

Or there's at least a few of them. Really? And so they'll give birth to the live spiders inside them and they'll eat their way out. Spiders! Okay, what's your name and what is your fact, please? So my name is Bapinda and my fact is that the new tallest building in London is going to be called Undershaft. Amazing.

Nice. It's really immature as that because I can't believe you brought it to the table. So why is it being called that? I don't know, I just read it on The Guardian and then laughed a lot. Yeah. That's literally the extent that I do my research as well, so don't worry about it. Actually, I was reading the other day, it's a building we've mentioned on the podcast before, but a building in London got voted the ugliest or the most horrible building around,

and it's the walkie-talkie. And it was cited for being so bad because it keeps blowing people over and melting cars. The angle of the building has this magnifying on it that it's just melting cars. And the wind that is trapping, it's literally blowing people onto the street. People are furious. The architect who made it has designed another building in America which also has melted cars. And he's not learning his mistakes. He actually puts that on a CV now.

Have you got a car you need, Melton? Just get me to design a multi-billion dollar building for you. Alex was actually telling me earlier that the shard in London goes down as deep, deeper than Nelson's column. Does it? I thought you were going to say it goes down deeper than it goes up. I thought he was going to say that as well. I was quite disappointed. Something that does do that is the angel of the north. Really?

That goes down deeper than the shard. And the underside is devil-shaped, isn't it? That's tough. Can I just say, because I find this really interesting, and I think I've never been allowed to say it on the podcast before, but we only recently discovered how tall Nelson's column was. So it's been up since, well, since Nelson, so 200 years, and they just measured it a couple of years ago,

and they realised I think it's four metres higher than we thought, or maybe it's four feet. Isn't that weird? We'd never measured Nelson's column. Yeah, that's really cool. You know, there are loads of Nelson's columns all over the place. Oh, there are. I mean, like millions. There are, I think, a good dozen of them all over the UK,

and there's one in Norfolk, which is where he was from, I think, and it's just got an urn at the top of it, not Nelson. So, there you go. But it is a Nelson's column. Nelson used to, I don't know if we ever put, I tried to get this on the podcast, I don't know if it ever made on, but Nelson used to have a little hat for his eye. He just had a tiny hat for his eye,

and no one talks about it, and they should, because he literally tried to get that up every single week for that too. What, because it was like, you know, when you see American movies, where they're like doing accounts, and they had that sort of tennis hat that had the green that you could see through, Nelson had that on his eye, this little green thing, so that he could, because his eye got too much sun, and he was like, I want to get less sun, so they created a little hat.

I have a fact about Nelson. Okay, go on. Do you have it? It's from Brian. Brian with a Y. You there? Hey. We'll go for a Twitter fact first.

Okay, we'll go for a Twitter fact. So, this was sent to me by someone called Timworth89, and he said that in 1774, one newspaper estimated that out of the 872,564 married couples in England, only nine were entirely happy. You could read that as a whole nine were entirely happy. He sent me a clipping, an image of the clipping as well, it's so good. They had a breakdown of the whole 872,000,

and it's like 1,300, the wives had eloped, 2,300, the husband had run away. There was about 19,000 that were in a state of open war. 16,000 had a lot of inward hatred about each other. Not that inward if they're telling the interviewer. And 51 couples were living in a state of indifferent hate. Hang on, indifferent hate. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense at all.

What period was this? This was in 1774. This is, you know, between, it's for about 200 years, but between about 1675 and 1850, only about 370 couples in England got divorced. And everyone needed an act of parliament. Exactly, so how exciting is that? It's almost worth getting divorced.

Every time you got divorced, they had to debate it in parliament. I think they look good together. That was hardly Hillary bad. Shall we move on to the... Sorry, yeah, sorry. Yeah, so Nelson, in the Admiralty office in, Nelson used to go for reports and stuff, and he had a small mahogany box to stand on,

because firstly he was quite short, and secondly the Admiral sat on a raised platform to make them higher than everybody that would come before them to speak. So they maintained their authority. And yeah, he was the only person that ever had that concession. And I got to stand on that box, but I had to take my boots off first.

Did he have to take his boots off first as well? Yeah, because I was just saying that doesn't reduce your authority. That would have kind of negated the concession, wouldn't it, really? Yeah, indeed. Stand up, take your boots off, oh, same height. I think Gillian Anderson used to have to do that in the X-Files. Dana Scully, she used to have to stand on a box when they were filming. She's quite a bit smaller than David DeCovney,

and so for scenes where they were standing chatting, she would stand on a box, and yeah. That happens a lot in movies, I think. Oh, Charles and Lady Di apparently did this as well. Ah, I have a Twitter fact about Charles and Lady Di, actually. So why don't we lead into that. When Prince Charles married Lady Diana, the TV cables put in place for the wedding were run by a ferret.

And I googled it, and it's true. What do you mean? I don't mean he was physically with like a thing there in his hand. Alright, camera two, let's do this. Cut a three, cut a three. They had to get cables, I guess, into, I'm guessing Westminster Abbey. They have to go into small little holes, and this is, you tie it to a ferret, and they run through, and they...

No way! Yeah, I think British Aerospace have used it for some kind of aeronautical thing. Yeah, I think for building aeroplanes for some reason. That's what I was going to say, but I thought it sounded so ridiculous. Ferrets build aeroplanes. But I think they actually cancelled that, eventually, because they kept showing through the wires, so I think they ended up being quite unreliable.

Oh, right. I seem to remember. Someone sent me a tweet, at Bangai Shot U, sent me a tweet, and it's almost the same as this. It's like there was a ferret called Misty, who ran the cabling for the US Space Command, for the Y2K Center, and her fee was a strawberry pop tart.

Who negotiated that? Because that sounds like she actually asked for that. Yeah, it reminds me this of, there's a bridge over the Niagara River, near the Niagara Falls, and the problem with bridges is, how do you get the first kind of thing over? So once you've got a bit of string over there, then you can pull something over,

and then you can pull something bigger over and bigger over, and then you eventually have a bridge. But if it's a really big crevice... He used a bird. Well, it wasn't a bird, but it's closed. Frisbee. Frisbee. No, it was a kite.

Oh, nice. So they blew a kite up, and then it kind of went over, and then someone was on the other side, and they could grab the kite, and then you had a string over, and then they could attach a bit of wire onto that, and pull it across, and then a bit of bigger wire. And then a tiny bit of wood,

and then a little bit, big bit of wood, and then eventually a bridge. You can't get a Frisbee across Niagara Falls, I think. Can you? This is true, so... How good are you at Frisbee? You can get it across Niagara Falls. I can't.

You can make it hover in the air, while it deposits building materials. It's incredible. You guys know the Aerobi Superdisc? Yeah. It's a great Frisbee, guys. It's the one that's completely hollow. It's plastic, and it's got a tough frame in the middle,

so it keeps rigidity and stability, but it's rubber on the outside, so it doesn't hurt your hands. Anyway... This week's podcast is brought to you... It's The Bee's Knees, and they can get you... They've thrown one across Niagara Falls.

When have you ever had a friend to throw Frisbees to? It does take a while to play when I'm playing with the Aerobi Superdisc, because it goes so far. Have you ever thought about getting a boomerang? OK, let's move on with another fact. Who has a fact that's about penises and the London Underground? James, you're going to need to narrow it down a bit. Hi, my name's Tom.

Hi, Tom. So when the new headquarters of the London Underground building was opened in 1929, the statue of the front of a naked boy was so controversial, and there was such public outcry that the sculptor had to reduce the size of his penis by one and a half inches. Wow.

Did we ask from what? 12 is too much. 10 and a half would be fine. So is it the short of the penis that lowers the rating of the film? What's the film? It's a statue. Sorry, I was extrapolating. If that made it less obscene in the statue, is that it becomes less obscene the smaller the penis?

I mean, yeah. Are you sensing an opening for some smally endowed people? Don't say opening. Do you know any more about why they had a statue of a naked boy in the first place? Yeah, kind of. So it was by Jacob Epstein, who is this avant-garde, quite brutalist sculptor,

and it was one of his first major commissions. He has this quite long history of creating sculptures, like he has one on what's now in Zimbabwe House on the Strand, and that's also been massively defaced because it was just full of naked people, and people didn't like that in Edwardian Britain. But this one, it was kind of a compromise because there was public outcry,

and the head of the tube at the time offered his resignation to keep the statue. It was that big a deal. Wow. And they wanted to keep the head, the CEO of the London Underground, but as a compromise, they said, okay, we'll just trim the penis a little bit. Is that what happened to all ancient statues?

Like, did David have a massive cock originally? No, they thought it was more civilized to have a small wedding. They thought it was better to be small because if it was too big, you would lose heat and lose vigor. But this website had a picture of what had been done to the statue, and underneath it just said, yeah, this has actually happened,

and you thought the cuts to the London Underground today were controversial. That's very good. Hey, we should wrap up soon, so maybe let's just do a couple more. Why don't we do a Twitter one each that we all like? I'll start with mine. This was sent in by Jonathan Warlock, Claire Danes, and all her movies were banned from the Philippines

after she badmouthed it in an interview. So they just said, no more Claire Danes movies. Oh, really? I'm kind of using this as an excuse, though, to talk about the Philippines, because my dad's a hairdresser, and he also likes to sing Bee Gees covers, and he's got a really nice voice.

And on the equivalent of Jonathan Ross there, they don't really have many people there to go on the show, so he often got asked to go on and sing Bee Gees covers on this equivalent of Jonathan Ross, called the Johnny Litton Show, and he was on it one day, and Emelda Marcos saw it, and she's called him up,

and sent a letter saying, I'd like to invite you to sing karaoke with me once a week, and you can't really say no to someone like Emelda Marcos, so he had to do it. This is the fact that I learned off him through the back of doing that, is that she said to him one day when they were mid-Bee Gees song, Roger, I get so tired about people talking about

my having the largest shoe collection all the time. No one talks about the fact that I have the largest collection of spoons. And she apparently likes to brag that she has the largest collection of silverware in the world, and no one talks about it, all the shoes. Yeah, the fucking shoes. No one talks about the silverware.

So, Anna, final fact? Yeah, so my favorite fact on Twitter actually was that the, this is from at Golbatosaurus, and it was that the Korean term for grinding in a club is booby-booby. Farrony? Very nice. Just like that.

Andy, what do you got? I really like the fact, and this is exactly how it was worded, it's from Mina Kosluka, Ottoman Emperor Abdul Havit made it illegal to use the words sibling, star, bedbug, and nose, and then in brackets, he had a weird nose. And James?

Okay, this fact came from IDKT IDKT, and it is that in the olden days, to send paper money through the post, people used to tear it in two pieces and post the halves separately. I don't even know if it's true, but I just really like the ingenious idea of doing that. I've tried to present a sellotape top ten-pound note of the news Asians,

and they didn't like it. There was a guy in China, he didn't trust banks, and so he buried all of his money underground, and then it all got eaten by worms. Oh, wow. And he managed to kind of save about a third of it, that was all in pieces,

and took it to the bank in a big bag of soil, and then said, is there anything you can do with this? And they managed to retrieve about a third of his money. Everything that he didn't trust ended up saving some of his cash. He's convinced that the worms are working for the bank, though. I read ages ago that all astronauts,

when they initially were going to the moon, that they were all given half notes of $1 note in America, American money, they would get the half, and they would have to present it back to NASA when they arrived, and so they could put the two halves together so that they could check whether or not aliens had cloned them back at work.

The idea that the aliens would not have the technology to just keep hold of a half dollar bill. We can clone a human, but that half dollar bill is no way of doing that. All right, let's wrap it up on that. All right, that's it. That's all of your facts. Thank you so much for listening.

If you want to get in contact with us about the things that were said, don't get in contact with the people who said them. They're all on Twitter. You can reach them at their Twitter handles, or you can track down the people who are in this room. We do have a list of their names, and we will make it public. And we'll see you again next week with another episode.

Goodbye.