No Such Thing As A Fish - BONUS: Drop Us A Line - January 2024

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

In this special bonus episode, Dan, James, Andy and Anna sift through the correspondence sent in by listeners. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon If you'd like to write in, you can email [e-mail] Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.

Hi everyone, welcome to Tuesday in NoSichThinksAsAfishLand. What are we doing with new material on a Tuesday? I'm sure you're asking yourself, well, what it is, is it is a special New Year's treat, even though it's not really New Year anymore, and it is an episode of our show Drop Us a Line. Now Drop Us a Line is normally hidden in the secret bowels of Club Fish which is our special paid for area which you can get to by going to no such things as a fish.com forward slash apple or no such things as a fish.com forward slash patreon. Now full disclosure, obviously we're releasing this in the hope that some of you will feel

like you're missing out and subscribe but honestly no strings attached please do enjoy this show and actually if you wanted to come and join for just a month say on Apple you can go to the Apple app and it will offer you one month for free and then if after that month you don't want to subscribe anymore then of course that's absolutely fine we will think no less of anyone because we know that not everyone has that kind of disposable income and actually even if you do have it You might not want to spend it on this that is absolutely fine One thing to say is that knows which things a fish the main podcast will always be free to everyone and clubfish only contains extras So we have the show droppers aligned. We also have meet the elf where we meet some of our

Colleagues and they ask us some fun questions. We have loads of compilations of outtakes from our shows. We also have a discord where like-minded fish fans can meet and chat and we dip our toes into there every now and then to say hi but the main show is and always will be free. Oh, I should just say one more thing. If you're Alan Brazil, the ex-footballer, or indeed any of his family or friends, you might be surprised to hear in this podcast that I said he was no longer with us. That was a genuine mistake on my part. I think when I was researching I might have searched for Alan Ball instead of Alan Brazil and got the wrong information. So huge apologies to Mr Brazil and to all the Brazils. But anyway,

despite that error, I hope you enjoy this week's episode of Drop Us a Line on with the bonus material. Hello, Andy. Andy here. Uh, joined by my three chums. James. Hey, they come on. And I'll be sensible. James, Anna and Dan are here as well. And this is drop as a line. I've got a mouth full of a street waffle. Otherwise I would have said hi as well. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The standards of professionals. Do you have any? Yeah, I'm actually going to start us again. Guys, this is to our professional. Hi. Hello. Oh my god. I know what you like, a street waffle. I get no respect. Welcome to Drop Us Aligned, everybody. This is the bit

of the show where we are, no James, open your bottle of carbonated water. It's avian. James, open your bottle of carbonated water. It's avian. Anyone got anything else they'd like to get off their chest or out of the bags? No, no, no. Right, welcome to Drops Alight. This is where we are going through your words. I'm reading them out to these guys. These guys will say something funny and we'll end after about a little while.

That first summation? Yeah, that's excellent. Why don't we get over there? Yeah, okay. Maybe we should start again. No, look, we've had some cracking correspondence. Great. Here is Ian Dunne with an um, actually.

Oh, an old friend. Great friend of the show. Oh, no. Hi, Ian. Just a quick note regarding Rutland, which came up in episode 511. Oh, yeah. In it, you, Andy, said that Rutland was the smallest county in England.

However. Oh, he's from T side, Ian. Is that, um, yeah, is that, you're gonna say that's England. Oh, he's from T-side, Ian. Is that, yeah, is that, you're going to say that small? No, it's not small. No, he just says, as was mentioned in the QI episode, England, Rut-Row, a general ignorance question said that the smallest county was actually the Isle of Wight at High Tide. That's right.

When the tide is out, indeed, Rutland is smaller. That's great. I know. And I've also heard from Hattie Hodgson Chrome brilliant name on Twitter. The population of Rutland are crying out. In the latest episode of just imagine flying over Rutland in a small aircraft and just hearing the people. Absolutely wailing and gnashing of teeth coming from run and in the latest episode of no such thing. Andy Andy you said it had become a I think a unitary authority instead of a county right actually it became an independent county

again in 1997 as a primary school there at the time I received a mug to mark the occasion I'm sorry Hattie and I'm sorry Ian I would say of all the things having worked at QI for 20 years more in fact the thing that gets people hot under the collar more than almost anything else is the 1971 Unitary Authorities Act, which made all of the counties of England the new counties. Well, it's your chat up line, isn't it? You ask people in bars what they think about it. I just stand on the corner of Cumbria and Northumberland. Do you remember a thing where we spoke about people not being called BJ in the UK? I just stand on the corner of Cumbria and Northumberland.

Do you remember a thing where we spoke about people not being called BJ in the UK? Yeah, that was me. Yeah, I just said I feel like Americans are called BJ. A few people have messaged me saying I know an Aussie BJ. Well, Chris Blundle Joyce writes... Since we amalgamated hyphenated our names when we got married, we are now the Blundle Joyce's aka the BJs. We live in York and now our family and friends knows as the BJs, God help our two year old daughter when she goes to school. Thank you, Chris. I think it's one of the few places where being BJ is going to be less embarrassing for her than being called Blundle Joyce.

I love your name. It is a lovely name. The word Blundle, I wish meant something because I'd love to be saying it on a regular basis. Blundle Bus. If they have a car, they should call it the Blundle Bus. Yes. It sounds a bit like Blunder Bus. And what's that? That's a large gun.

Yeah. Just a cool word. Cool. Andrew Morth writes, you know the bit where you say something and then we're funny after it? Yeah, when do we get to that bit? We'll keep going until we've got something. Okay. Andrew Morth writes. How dare you, Andrew?

Lovely. Another Andy M as he points out. I recently joined Clubfish to see if you guys ever mentioned my amazing fact about the Hoover Dam back in November 2022 brackets, no. Do we have the fact? I did look at it, it's fine. Can I tell you the fact about it? Okay, see if it's the same one. Oh yeah. They used to, if you had a mental illness, they used to prescribe you to go to the Hoover Dam and listen to the water going down the Hoover Dam

and that was supposed to make you feel better. Love it. That is a good fact. Was that his fact? No, his fact, it was a really good one actually. It was about the construction of the dam, and it was really tragic. It was about the first person and the last person to die. And I think the first person was someone like the architect, or the last person was his

son. Right. And it was a great fact, but it was quite sad. So I thought it might be a bit gloomy for us. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I joined, to see if you mentioned my fact, with every intention of unsubscribing before I had to pay, because I'm cheap and have very little money at the moment. That's fair.

However, around a year ago on the bonus podcast, Andy admitted to peeing in the shower, which was a shocking revelation from such a private and conservative man. I have hence committed to paying for at least one month for the privilege of hearing you all open up. Because I love you guys. It's the first and last time Andy ever opened up. I know. And I closed right back down. It was such an unpleasant time for me that I've never said anything. No one ever gets anything out of me now. It was months of therapy, wasn't it, after you missed that? Which I know you don't want us to say, of course, but... Yeah, Jesus, Anna. Here's the fact about Dan's teeth.

Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. So he doesn't have canines. Right. And this is from Jessamy Glure. Please. This is a brilliant name. Stunning name. Stunning. I know. As an American who lived in Britain, I noticed that many white British people have really long canines compared to what seems normal in the USA. So much so that it gets distracting, wondering if the British person you're talking to is actually a vampire. This is just the thing we said. We were talking about canine teeth and- person you're talking to is actually a vampire.

This is just the thing we said. We were talking about canine teeth and we just noticed that you don't. Yeah, everyone said look at your mouth and Anna, I think it was you who said, Dan, where are yours? People have since gone through my Instagram finding photos of me with a smile going, yeah, you don't like just pointing out to me. So she says, despite having listened to Fish for Years, I still get the names mixed up. But when Anna pointed out that Dan had no canines,

I easily guessed he was the least British of the four. Oh, okay. Right, I think that's a coincidence. I like the theory, but we need more data. I like it. And she says, no clue if it's genetic or environmental, but I've never seen an American try to open a bag of crisps with their teeth.

I mean, I actually think that that is a thing that Americans and non-English people find very unusual about the British. If you go to a pub, people will go to the bar by a pack of crisps, bite it open and then just open it and leave it on a table. Yeah. How are they opening their crisps to share? I don't think they share. They don't share.

It was someone on Twitter who was... People share. No other country shares. That's a slum or the nation's share. It honestly was a revelation when I came here and I saw that happen. And then as my Aussie mates came over and other international friends,

I would do it knowing each time that I was introducing them to something incredible. It's funny, it's sort of inoculated Britain against true socialism. Like that's what we do to share. That's all we need. And we've never had a proper redistributive, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, thank you.

Can we redistribute crisps round a table in a pub? Yeah. I actually don't like doing it. Don't you? Because... You don't like sharing. Yeah, because I hate sharing for yourself-ish and for a greedy. But also, I feel like you know this about me, and my favourite thing about crisps, my favourite

thing to do with crisps. You lick the bag? No. You've got to pop the Chris bag. So as soon as you ruin the Chris bag, so I just overturn all the Chris onto the table and then I bang the bag. Yeah.

Bang the bag. Yeah. This is that opening up stuff that this guy wanted us to do. Yeah, happy now. That's good stuff. Simon Graham writes, this is about when Dan's fact was about the wall crashing into airton's. Oh, yeah

Which is such a good fact. Yeah, brilliant. So in the following discussion You all lamented the demise of the lollipop man in the pit crew, right? In 2009 this I love this email formula one introduced hybrid engines with kinetic energy recovery systems Which harvested energy when you're braking? Yeah The same stuff as you get in electric cars today, right? And they store it in batteries and then when you're braking. Yeah, it's the same stuff as you get in electric cars today. Right, and they store it in batteries, and then when you're overtaking, you sort of,

brrrm, you use that. The technology was a bit unknown and somewhat unreliable at the time. During this early period of the KERS, there was always a pit crew member standing by with what looks like a shepherd's crook in case one of the crew was electrocuted. Oh, what, they'd pull him off stage?

Like someone who's terrible comedian? That's it. No. There was always a crew member holding one during the pit stops in case of electrocution. Wow. He attached a photo showing a pit member wearing extra heavy rubber gloves. And yeah, since the technology has moved on, it has become more reliable and safe. And the shepherd has gone the way of the lollipop.

Wow. I wonder if it did ever happen because we'd have it on camera, presumably, if it was a F1. I guess so, yeah. That kind of thing. I don't know. Maybe it will happen. Isn't that lovely?

It is quite nice. I imagine you being sacked as a lollipop man and going home and then you get the phone call going, darling, don't worry, I've got a new gig. I've got an upsetting email to read. It's from Alex Stroh, subject Dan was right. I'm upset already. We'll cut this, so what's the point?

And he's quoting from, I think, a piece maybe in Wikipedia, but it's, as water monsters, Kappa have been blamed for drownings and are often said to try and lure people into water. I really thought you meant the tracksuit trouser brand. And they would. They'd weigh you down if you jump in the sea. Sorry, Kappa what?

They lure people into water and pull them in with their great skill at wrestling. This is like a fictional beast of Kappa, right? Yeah, mythical beast in Japan, I believe. They're sometimes said to take their victims for the purpose of drinking their blood, eating their livers, or gaining power by taking their Shirokodama, a mythical ball said to contain the soul which is located inside the anus. So sorry, Dan was right about something.

We were... This was from before my time. No, no, no, we were on stage together. This was... Soho Theatre. Yeah, Soho Theatre, and we were talking about the bong ball. Bong ball that Aussies have. Was I in this one? Yeah, yeah.

I was asking what the word bong ball meant, and it was actually a party thrown by a publican because Bung is part of a barrel. Oh yeah. And Dan thought that the Bung-Ball was a thing found in an anus. I was asking if it was the anus soul ball, which these Japanese mythological creatures would, yeah. You were right. I'm still not getting the respect from Havie, eh?

No, weird, isn't it? Well done. Never questioned down on cryptozoology. I can still not, still not getting the respect from having it. Well done. Never questioned down on cryptozoology. I can't believe we even did. It's mythological stuff. Was it, because it's in Japan, was it believed by the Anus? Oh, very nice. A large group of Japanese people. And they're the Ainu. Yeah, we get trouble every time we mention them because James and the Sixth Uncle are me a his tribe. Dan, can you read out that word? That one word?

Manitowoc? Okay, this is an email from Alex. Andy, just wanted to say that Dan pronounced it completely correctly. It was like he was from Wisconsin. I'm as shocked as you are. PS, if you use this on Drop as a Line, please make Dan read my last name. So it's from Alex Tievsky. There we go. That sounded like implausibly could be correct. Quite good actually as well. Just so people can play along at home. T-I-E-V-S-K-Y. I'd have maybe gone with Tievsky, but Tiefsky sounds very, very like it. Okay, Alex Wright in Who Was Correct and the Other. And did I pronounce the place right again?

Oh, good, maybe that one. You've got to throw one dart right once. Can I give you a piece of correspondence that someone sent in. This was sent on my Instagram, Notic Thing as James Harkin, by someone called Katie Collinson. And it was about an episode that I wasn't in. And she said, tell Dan that liquid soap is normally full of preservatives

because it is made with water. And apparently you were talking about the difference between, apparently I did listen to the show. It was very good with Reese James. Are you talking about the difference between block soap and liquid soap? Yeah, and what I found really interesting is I think in the show you guys mentioned that Liquid soap is worse the environment because it contains water And you need to ship that around the world. I think that's true But what's really interesting I think is what is what Katie said, which she worked for Lush, by the way.

She says that the water causes it to go off. Because you've got water in there, it can collect bacteria and stuff like that, whereas solid soap can't do that. So solid soap is cleaner than liquid soap. Nice. How, you don't think of off-water, do you? You rarely take a sip of water and go,

oh, that's been refrigerated. But if bacteria need to live, they need water, don't they? Yeah. There we go. Glad that we've got more anti-liquid soap propaganda. That's brilliant. Here's one. This is a bit of a controversial one.

This is a spicy meat. It's from Ben Lidgate. I just listened to your most recent Christmas episode, in which Dan mentions the fact that Chuck Norris edits out all the fight scenes from his movies if he wanted to show them to his kids. And the rest of you all sounded interested and entertained as if this was new information for you. However, I am also currently re-listening to all your old episodes.

And I've just listened to episode 29 from the 3rd of October, 2014, in which Dan mentions this fact, and episode 30 from the 11th of October, 2014, in which Dan mentions it again. And each time, you all sounded at least slightly surprised. Well, two things here. I think Dan did say this is a fact I've been trying to prove for a long time. So he did reference that.

And secondly, that's just being polite, isn't it? It'd be terrible if every time one of you said a fact I didn't find interesting, I commented, I don't find that interesting. Boo! Blame! Ben says, I'm beginning to suspect that the hilarious banter that sounds spontaneous each week is in fact entirely infected. How much of what we hear is real?

Are all your interactions entirely scripted? Or is it simply the case that none of you pay attention to Dan and if you come up with the same factor every week, none of you would know this? Bingo! There we go. By the way, I did have a listener write in to me having tracked down the interview that I was talking about. And it is the case that he re-edits the movies.

Yeah, sorry, Chuck Norris. Re-edits movies. Why would he do that? So basically he does it when his kids do. No, I can only fake it three times. However, in that specific interview, he says he takes it from an R-rated movie to a movie that they can watch. He doesn't specifically say takes out all the fight scenes,

which is something I feel I definitely read somewhere else. So he might take out some of the swearing as well. Yeah, or the love scenes or whatever that is. Well, here's hoping that you track down the truth and we'll end up hearing that fact a fifth time. And we're getting closer. Oh, yeah. See? Over a 10-year period, you keep mentioning it.

Someone will help. Jean Montarastelli writes, with a sport fact, actually, says that he really enjoyed everything to play for, by the way. Thank you. The QI Book of Sports. Oh, thank you, Jean. Or John, I'm going to say. Jean. OK, or Jean. Oh, thank you. What's your name? I'm gonna say Jean. Okay. Oh, was it G E N E?

Yeah. Sorry. I thought it was J E A N. No, no, no. I'm sure you know how to pronounce the word that I've got written in front of me better than I do. Hannah, you're distracting from the fact that we've got a plug chance here.

I'm on read. No, we're moving on. Actually, he hated it. No, what was it. He hated it. No, what was it he enjoys? We're going to be grateful. He talked about, you know, we talked about the name change for the British basketball league. Became the BBL.

Yeah. It was originally the BBL, I should say, which is also Brazilian butt lift. And their logo looks a bit like a bum. Yeah. And he says, when you were talking about this, there was a discussion of how a large rump might be helpful in basketball.

Basketball Hall of Famer Charles Barkley. Sorry. He doesn't speak to that, he doesn't know much about sport. I thought you were capable of reading the words right in front of you. Yeah, okay. That's fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, whatever.

Basketball Hall of Famer Charles Barkley. Yeah. Easy, okay. That's fair cop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, whatever. Basketball Hall of Famer Charles Barkley. Yeah. Easy, easy. It was known for his ample butt. And... Yeah, he used to like use it to bounce off people a little bit, didn't he? He was like, sort of, you know, if people are running towards him, he'd move his bum in

the way and they'd kind of... Exactly that. He was very effective at using his generous posterior to move taller players out of the way. Incredible. What was the name? Can you smell my ass? What was the last name? You smell my ass.

That's it. Brilliant. Ross Maguire writes, this is a, what is it called when we get something wrong? Unusual. I'm actually, I'm actually is what it is. This week's episode said that Bethany England was the first person to play for a country that shares her name.

I think it's one of you, Dana and Anna. The first person to play for the country that shares her name. Sorry, yes, that's right. I did claim that. Well, it's not right, Anna, because of a man called Stephen Ireland. Oh, yes. Played for Ireland. It's a classic good. Six caps and four goals. We don't really, when we talk about football,

we are usually thinking about women's football. So sometimes we don't always immediately bring the men's game to mind. Absolutely. Yeah. I think that's what happened there. Yeah, it's very sexist of us and I do apologise. Yeah.

Okay. That was a great correct, actually. Well done. No, it's brilliant. You know what, when we were sat on stage, I was going through all the countries trying to think of any other ones. And I never got to.

Because we were talking about Alan Brazil, weren't we? Actually, mostly the Alan Brazil stuff got cut out because we didn't know that he recently died. Oh, I'm so dead though. I mean, it was sad. But we spoke about him as if he was still alive. So. Yeah, right. I've got something.

I've got a bad one here. This is a good one, but it's bad for me. Matt Shaw writes, Your novels are shit. James, I've asked you to stay out of the inbox. All right. It's important that you hear these for the first time fresh. It's rather that than on the numbsome review.

Matt Shaw writes, I'm a sommelier and a wine importer with a specialisation in fortified wine and I love the section you did on Sherry, but I was compelled to write in as Andy has unfortunately fallen foul of one of the classic misunderstandings of the Solera system. Oh yeah. In Sherry production, yeah, that pyramid. Can you just quickly remind us of the Solera system? Basically, the thing I said that was wrong is that you move most of the sherry from one barrel

to another, and the new sherry is at the top of the pyramid, and the old sherry is at the bottom of the pyramid, and you move it down and down and down. So it all gets mixed up, and the older sherry helps the newer sherry develop and blah, blah, blah. He says it's always represented as a pyramid, because it's a very useful representation. But the consistent and persistent side effect

is that every single wine student gets tricked into thinking these are physical barrels of pyramids, which they're not. So they just move it with cups running through and from? Well, it's like eggs in buckets. He says, if there's a fire or an accident, you will only lose some of it. Whereas if it's in a pyramid, you lose all of it. And some of the wine storage warehouses

have their own micro climates, which influence how the wine ages. So they have to move around between. Anyway, the wine doesn't physically flow between the barrels is blended in a separate larger tank. This is a small point in an otherwise well explained and very interesting section. But given it's one of the most persistent myths, I have spent a decade battling one I felt it was worth being a pedant for. That's 10 years well spent, I must say. No, I think that's a good, that's a good, you know.

Yeah, really good. Here's a question. All right. Michael Cattle writes, hello from 2019, sort of. Ooh. Time traveler. Playful. Off to a playful start with Michael.

I've listened to the entirety of The Fisher for probably five times or so at this point. Wow. I'm passing through the end of 2019 again. And James just mentioned that Polina, his wife, had booked a flight on a parabolic flight next year. Did she ever go on that flight? And if so, what did she think? I don't recall hearing an update.

I'm hoping Polina comes up enough that the question isn't too personal. Okay. Well, spoiler alert for the guy living in 2019, by 2020, there weren't many trips to France to do parabolic flights. I don't really want to explain exactly why because it will spoil everything for you. But there was enough vomiting going on in 2020 without parabolic flying. Unfortunately, we had to cancel it because of COVID and then we had a baby and we will have to take medical again before we get a chance to do it because you need to take a medical.

That's fair enough. That's a sad ending to that, Amor, for Michael. But thank you. Oh, here's a really good one. Dave in sale, great Manchester. Firstly, when are you going to do a new book of the year? We'll get back to you. Secondly, and more importantly, I thought it would bring to draw your attention to a

possibility of a trademark infringement In the audiobook of Everything to Play for the QI Book of Sports by James Arkham and Anatozinski They both sign off the end of the audiobook by just using the word by Hmm... Do they really like that? I can't believe someone's listening to Always the End! Do we do that? I assume this has already been trademarked by you, hence my worry

Civil remedies for trademark infringement include injunctions, damages or account of profits. Criminal penalties are also available. Good luck. Okay. Does Dave from Sale say that, for instance, you might need to actually trademark something before it could be infringed? No, he doesn't say that. Just as he assumes I've got it. Yes, we've trademarked it. Stop. And now you are infringing on our trademark every time you say it. How are you going to end this up? Very abruptly.

Unlike my normal slow language. How interesting. I remember us recording it, but I didn't recall that we'd done the buy thing. So what do you do? You guys at the end just have a kind of like, well, that's it everyone. Yeah, well, we read the book and then we did a special extra bonus chapter where we just chatted like a podcast, but without the two dead weights. At the end of that, I presume we just said bye.

I do remember that. The only bit I remember is the buy. Deeming. I'm so cross. I'm furious. All right. Well, we'll thrash that out. Thank you very much across furious. All right, well, we'll we'll thrash that out. Thank you very much for that. That's that'll thank you, Dave. One final thing. Sorry. Tom

wrist Smith writes hyphen. Yeah, double baron. Yeah. But wrist is spelled surprisingly, you wouldn't think it was spelled this way, but it is. Okay, starts with a Q. No, no, just anyway, this is not a weird day. I've had corroboration of this fact already from someone else I know, because this is a, this is not. And I weird I've had corroboration of this fact already from someone else I know, because this is a fact from New Zealand and someone else in New Zealand has written to me

already saying this, right? Tom Ross Smith writes, I'm in the toilet of a shuffleboard bar called Mean Doses in Wellington, New Zealand. And they are playing fish, but only in the bathroom, not in the bar. And a friend of mine wrote to me saying, I was in a bar the other night

and they were playing No Such Thing as Fish in the Toilet. That's so cool. That's so exciting. In Wellington. So is he just spending lots of time in the toilet now? I guess. Because he does spend like 55 minutes in the toilet. And like, what have you been doing in that toilet for all that time? Well, wrist is my middle name.

Anyway, that's cool, isn't it? That's pretty exciting, yeah. And that's cool, isn't it? We've made it. And that's probably the furthest toilet we've been played in. It will down to the toilet. That will turn. Yeah, that's great. We should acknowledge it secretly in an upcoming episode. Oh, that's great.

Just something, just something to get a mention. Shuffleboard. We could make a special 15 minute episode, send it to this bar. If you want to be a completist No, it's just things a fish you have to go to this bar Such a good idea. Let's do that. Let's do that. Great. It's definitely gonna be very bad people's carbon footprint Oh, I feel very guilty about encouraging everyone to flock to

That's true A shuffleboard bar called mean doses in Wellington. Imagine if it's a long way 300,000 people turn up Oh god, I've got anxiety about how you're going to end this. Toodle-doo. I think I covered it. That was fun, wasn't it? It was great. It was a loo. Yeah, I like it. Pip, Pip. No, thanks everybody for listening. That was really fun. I hope I like it. Pip pip. Um, no, thanks everybody for listening. That was really fun. I hope you enjoyed

it. If you want to say anything, just email podcast at qi.com. We love hearing from you with your spin off stories and your bonus facts and your I'm actually we'll be back again next month with another one of these. See you next time. Bye. Yeah. Wow. See you for that.