No Such Thing As A Fish - Club Fish - Drop Us A Line - March 2025

Episode Date: March 25, 2025

Club Fish presents Drop Us A Line, where Dan, James, Andy and Anna sift through the correspondence sent in by listeners. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content like this at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.

Hi fish fans, Anna here. Just thought you lot deserved a little treat. You've made it through the winter or the summer if you're in the other hemisphere. You all deserve this gift of a free extra episode. This is an episode of Drop Us a Line, which is usually a show that we release on our subscriber-only channel. It is where Andy gets a little go at hosting. So if you want to hear how that turns out, keep listening. And it's where we respond to your listener feedback. As you will know, as a listener, you're all far more interesting and amusing than we are.

And so we read out your emails and you get our responses to them. We take no responsibility for any offense caused in the reading out and responding to those emails. And if you like the sound of it then do sign up to Clubfish which is our subscriber only channel where we release lots of episodes of Drop Us A Line. We do at least two bits of bonus content per month trying out various little new formats, giving you compilations, best bits that we've cut out of the main episodes and of course you get ad-free main episodes so sign up if you like the sound of it or if you absolutely love adverts and you hate what you're about to hear then definitely

don't sign up. Okay on with the show. Hi. Oh, hey, Andy. Hey, everybody. I forgot to do my interruption. Do it again. No. So welcome to Drop as a Line, everyone. Thanks for joining. Thanks for joining. Thanks for being in Club Fish, you know.

We don't thank you guys enough, you Club Fish members, and we're so glad you're here. Yeah, we're chuffed. Agreed. And you've been writing to us, some of you. Anna also agreed, she nodded, but she just didn't say anything. Very slightly.

I thought it all sounded really sarcastic, and I know if you guys sound sarcastic, I'm gonna sound the most sarcastic, so I'm gonna keep my mouth shut. So you've been writing to us some great emails and we're going to read them out back to you now. Great. It's a circular system.

It's very efficient. It's very sustainable. It's very... Well, you printed all these emails out, I notice. Yeah, but on double-sided. Okay. Double-sided. So I'm doing my bit.

Yeah. Size 25 font size. Yeah, but on double-sided. Okay. Double-sided, so I'm doing my bit. Yeah. Size 25 font though. So we've had some great stuff. Can we start with a really cool thing? We've sent a bingo card for our own show. Cool. Have you seen this yet?

No. No. This is from Roz Kromhoff. Okay. Who has been working on a couple of other Sonic projects related to us, which I'm not going to give away at the moment because I think they might come into play soon. Wow. I know.

Okay, how exciting. She's working on something and she said, don't give the game away. Okay. Can I ask a related question? Yeah. Why is Sonic the Hedgehog called Sonic the Hedgehog? Why? Because he goes faster than the speed of sound.

Oh. I made that up. And also, that is not a related question. You used the word Sonic. I used the word Sonic. It's pretty related, yeah. I don't think that's a good enough reason to derail email one of the show. I can't save this for later, otherwise it would be really irrelevant.

The bad guy in Sonic the Hedgehog is called Dr. Robotnik. And Robotnik in Russian means just a worker, right? But in the Hedgehog bad guy, he's like the boss guy. He's not really a Robotnik. He's like a bossnik. Do you think Sonic the Hedgehog is capitalist propaganda then, saying actually if you put the worker in charge, everything goes to shit? Maybe.

What did the emails have to say about this, Andy? So we've been sent this bingo card by Roz. Sonic chat on there? It's a bit devastating to be honest. It's really good. So is it one of those things, it's like, you know, you watch a TV show and there are these memes that come up every couple of weeks and you cross them out if they predictably say them. It's agony. I'm just seeing if we've, I don't think we've crossed any of them so far.

Andy, can you explain how you play it? I actually don't know how you would play this. Well, you get a bingo card. We would all have one of these. And if James brings up golf, cross that off. And then when you make a line all the way through, you say bingo. And does everyone have a different? Everyone's got a different card, but this is just an example card. So James says, how interesting and does not in fact sound interested? Oh my God, yes. I know.

And I hadn't realized that until I read this card. I do know I do that. I say it when I'm moving on to something else and I do mean it, but because I'm thinking about the next thing that I'm about to say, that's why it sounds disinterested. Is it disinterested or uninterested? I think it's uninterested. Disinterested is when you're neutral on an issue. Interesting. When you don't have to. Sneaky host book plug. Oh yeah.

That was a lot. Andy uses an old fashioned curse word brackets, Oh crumbs. Devastating. Dan calls someone a character. Okay. Do I do that? I think you do a bit. I think it's when someone is a sex case, but you're being a bit polite about it. Does that come up a lot? Sex cases.

But sort of histories, you know, historical people will often have facets to their personality which are very discomforting. Oh, OK, a character. That does, I feel like I say like, oh, he's an interesting cookie. Yeah, I think there might be an unfair interpretation of this person.

I feel like I'd be like, this guy was such a character. And then I don't think it's always followed up with, you know, he used to grope women on the train. Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. Um, Anna says obviously. Apparently that is a big thing for you. Oh, really? Shit. Really? Yeah. You're doing quite an extended solo word. Yeah. Oh really? When one of you says something, do I go, obviously?

Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. I should stop doing that. I'm really sorry. So let's look out for these as we go into the further into the inbox. That's really fun. Thank you, Roz. It's great. Oh, it's quite fun hearing them because it's making us think about what we do. I think it's probably making us think too much about what we do and it's going to collapse the show. Interesting. That's my life. I just needed that on my bingo card. Bingo. What happens when you win? Do you drink something? Do you? Dan demonstrates he is very much a wife guy is on here. Oh, man.

That's not going to get a tick in any future episodes. Okay. I still win my wife by the way and love her very much. There we go. You can't cheat. I don't think you can do what Dan's doing here and cheat by mentioning all the things across every bingo card. Anyway, so that's great fun. Thank you very much, Ross. Awesome. Katie Mierer writes, I wanted to share something you might be interested in. This week you spoke about L. Frank Baum's donut mishap. And James commented that he could eat 50 donuts in four days.

That's what I thought I could do. I'm not going to back down on that quite yet. Three at every meal for four days. You can have some savory ones, some sweet ones. Fine. Okay, good. Yeah. I wonder if you're aware, writes Katie, of the annual Krispy Kreme challenge in Raleigh, North Carolina. The challenge is to run two and a half miles. James, you've done sort of half marathons and things. You could do that. Yeah, I could do that for sure. Eat 12 donuts. I could definitely do that. And then run the two and a half miles back in under one hour. Wow. That's doable for sure. That's doable. Yeah. This year's winner, Nick Scudder completed it in 30 minutes. That's very impressive. This event raises money for a local children's hospital. Is James up for the challenge? Yeah, I'm up for that. Great. When does it happen? It's in North Carolina in

the first weekend of February. Oh, well, we just missed it. Well, I've got a year to get to train it. I can eat 50 donuts every four days. That should get me there. Perfect. Henry Thorne writes his email is called Australia facts. Okay. He says, have you heard of the man from snowy river? A film? Yeah, well, it's, it's, isn't it an epic, it's an epic poem as well. Right. Okay. Well, he just has two facts. The first is Australia based and the second is more personal. First fact, the Craig's hut most famously used in the man from snowy river was rebuilt in 2006 by a man called Craig. Very nice. Cause it was called Craig before that. Is it a bug? What is it, a totem pole?

No, it's a hut. Oh, the Craig's hut. Yeah, yeah, sorry. I thought you said the Craig's heart. The second fact he says is, my wife, Ellen, has hand served the most Clydesdale mayors in Australia for the last three years. That's disgusting. We do not need to know that. She is the stud mistress at Arrunga Clydesdales.

Oh my god, so it is that. I thought she was a waiter at a restaurant. And I thought when you said mayors, you said actually said mayors. Yeah, I thought you said that as well. Mayors is worse. I genuinely thought she was masturbating the head of government of this town. That gold chain's clanking away. thought she was masturbating the head of government of this town. That gold chain's clanking away.

I just think that's a great, great email. And I wrote back saying, thank you, we'll try and get that in sometime. And he says, I have photos, decent ones. It turns out that it's, I think that's leading the females out to be seen to. Right. So you don't have to get involved with any of it. So Man from Snowy River, just to say, I'm embarrassed that I didn't clock it straight away, but it is an epic poem. It's by Banjo Paterson, who also wrote Clancy of the Overflow,

but also Waltzing Matilda. So he's a very famous audience. He is the laureate of Old and New. Wow. Very nice. Ashley Smith writes, Olden Day. Yeah. Um, very nice. Ashley Smith writes, I used to be a voice slash speech coach and I've been meaning to send this note for ages. Which one of us gets it?

Yeah, it's been 10 years, Ashley. This is gonna hurt. Regarding the pronunciation of Alan and Robin Thicke's last name. regarding the pronunciation of Alan and Robin Sticky's last name. I've heard you all repeatedly pronouncing the E at the end, making Sticky rhyme with Sticky. If you're saying... sorry. Andy's gone. Well, we had a good run. If you're saying it this way for comedic effect, please disregard this note.

If not, allow me to point out the E at the end of Thicky. It's silent. Alan. If not, allow me to point out that at the end of Thiccy is silent, Alan Thiccy even had a late night talk show in the 80s called Thiccy Thiccy of the Night, the title of which would have made no sense if his name rhymed with sticky. Does he have anything to say about the weekend? I think that's really helpful. Yeah, thank you, Ashley. I've written back and said, no, don't worry.

What a shame to have missed that one episode. I've just been living with that. That's why you need to listen to all the episodes. Absolutely. Oh, here's a weird thing. I don't know if you've ever mentioned this on the podcast or QI, but I surely have to be wrong as this is a very strong fish fact.

But in case you haven't, there is an actual fake but huge coal mine beneath Birmingham University built in 1905, made to teach coal mining to students. So we have mentioned that. You mentioned that, Anna, in episode 49, I looked it up. But the email is from Andy Murray. Okay. Do do do do do do do do do.

That's terrifying stuff, yeah. He says, not that one or that one. There you go. There you go. You know, there's a third Andy Murray. Have I told you this? That guy? No, sorry, there's a third, third Andy Murray. Have I told you this? No, it's a fourth Andy Murray. He was the head of the stop the war coalition back in the, back in the old days. He was, he's a very prominent communist and I was once introduced as him, uh, for

a live event. I was doing a debate about war, I think. And someone stood up and said, Andy Murray is a prominent communist and the stop the war coalition. And I had to stand up and said Andy Murray is a prominent communist and the war coalition and I had to stand up and say no, I'm not. Improvise. You're right. Straight up there and said, okay, guys, we're all together. We're in it together. But just give me a room. Give me an object. Yes. Okay. I got a text message the other day from an old friend of ours, Richard Turner, who co-creator of Museum of Curiosity and producer. He was a very good friend of Tony Slattery's, British comedian for those who don't know him. He passed away quite recently, so he had a funeral. So Rich messaged me this. He said, I went to Tony's funeral and was sort

of expecting a guy there to be called Mike Mansfield, who he knows. He had produced Tiger Bastable, which is a thing that Tony and Rich had made back in the day. But the funeral was organized by many who have only known Tony more recently, so they might not have known about him. But Mark, Tony's lifelong partner, must have told them to get hold of Mike Mansfield. Mike wasn't there,

but I did happen to spot the world famous human rights lawyer Michael Mansfield Casey wandering around and looking a bit lost. That's amazing. Just a world famous human rights lawyer not have better stuff to do than rock up to funerals where he doesn't even know the person. He might have thought there was a reason. That's very funny. It might have been put in his diary from someone. Yeah, exactly. You better go to this. That's great. That's so good.

Sam Cavallaro writes, in the bonus drop as a line of January, 2025, Andy wondered if there was a TV show where they followed an endoscope through a person's body. It turns out there has been some progress on this front. Someone we know, someone who was a guest of ours recently has done this and swallowed a pill bot and filmed the whole thing. So it's gonna be like, what's his name? Matt Parker.

Matt Parker or- Oh, so close. Johnny Knoxville? No, no, the- Oh, Tom? Tom Scott. Right nationality, Anna. Oh. What did you say? American.

Johnny Knoxville. Hank Green. Adam Savage. Oh! Myth buster. Myth buster. Came on stage in, uh, Melbourne? Brisbane?

Brisbane, yeah. Came on stage as part of the fish tour, surprise guest at the end of the show. So he's done that. Very cool. Yeah, it's fine. Um, Christie sends a fact about, um, holding your coffee. To stop it sloshing out of the cup, you should hold your cup with a claw grip or walk backwards. Okay.

Those are the two options. I've heard that. Um, but she- Walking backwards doesn't sound like a way to stop anything spilling. No. No, turns out it's behind you. But she adds, I love this PS, on another note, a fish episode from years ago inspired me to get a tattoo of Belfegora's Prime. Oh wow. What's that?

It's a number. And I believe, I'm completely going off memory here, but I think it's one and then 13 or 17 zeros and then maybe 13 and then another load of zeros and then one. Okay. I think, but whatever way it is, it's, it's an unusual prime number. I think. Nice. Well, she's, she says I work in research and development and I would love some little demon to whisper ideas for inventions in my ear, which I think must be related to the story

behind Belfour Gull's prime. But I just thought that's very cool. And have we talked about fish based tattoos before? I feel like we have done. Have we asked listeners if they've got any load if we had some ink out there? Okay, I have, we never do this, but I have my phone on me. It's one and then a load of zeros and then 666. Then a load of zeros. Cool. So quite a big tattoo it sounds like for her. Yeah it sounds like a long one. She's got very long legs.

Maybe. You assume it's on the leg, you know. Might be a spinal thing. Could be. A lot of people do 666 on the forehead. Yeah. So you could do the entire. That's really nice.

So I think that's great. So if we've inspired you to get a tattoo, please write it and send us photos. Yeah. Yeah. We've never seen one on tour. That would usually be the place during a signing. Right. Maybe we're not cool enough. Maybe to get tattoos. I think our listeners are too sensible for that. Yeah. I feel like we could ask to... Oh no. Queue the inbox being poisoned with some really repulsive pictures.

I got a tattoo of President Garfield's anus on my anus. Oh, President Garfield's anus, it's on the bingo card. Amazing. We should all get matching tattoos like they did at the end of Lord of the Rings. All the, I mean, we've been working on this for longer than they were making Lord of the Rings. Wait, Frodo and the other hobbits? Everyone did.

Apart from, I think, maybe someone like Sam, who got his stunt double to get a tattoo on him instead. It was the guy who played... And my axe! Oh, Jonathan Rhys Mayer? Oh, his stunt double. But I don't think... That's turned into a bit of a joke that he got his stunt double to do it instead. I think the stunt double was part of that gang anyway, to get it. But no, they all got matching... Sorry, I genuinely thought you meant in the plot at the end of the film before Frodo sails off to heaven or wherever he goes. One last JR Tolkien was not really a tax guy. You know the ring, the one true ring. It has writing on the inside, doesn't it? Yeah. So you could have that writing on the inside of your ring. That's a lovely idea. Yeah. That's a lovely idea.

Many have. Pop that on. By the way, we're usually accused of spoiling the end of books and movies, for which we apologize for, but I think Frodo sailing off into heaven at the end is, uh, we're okay this time. Do you think that's... A really old spoiler without warning. It's on the bingo card.

Is it? Really? Yep. Have you seen it, or did you just invent that end bit? No, that's basically when he gets on a boat and he sort of goes to, you know, to another world, right? Sails into the West. Yeah.

I think that's basically what happens, isn't it? Fair enough. Okay, so we have ruined it. Andrew Burson writes, this is about an episode, one of the recent ones, New Zealand ones, which I wasn't in, but you got Josh Thompson in? Oh yeah, brilliant. Yeah. He was so good.

Best step ever. Okay, well, buckle up, buckle in, strap up. I was at your recent show in Christchurch. In fact, I went up on stage and was the lucky winner of James's sexy quiz. Andy wasn't there because he had more important things to do. The quiz, by the way, you will remember wasn't sexy all the way through the tour, but it just got really sexy that night. Wow. I'm sorry to miss it. Um, and he wasn't there because he had more important things to do. Rude. So you had Josh Thompson fill in for him on the night. Yeah. He was so good. Did you know, cue sinister music, that Josh Thompson has links to the Nazis? Uh oh guys.

Okay. As in he hates them. No. Josh went to Timaru boys High School. Timaru is a city south of Christchurch. And on the grounds is a tree that was given by Hitler. Really? Yep, because a former student, Jack Lovelock, won gold in the 1500 meters at the Berlin Olympics in 1936 and was gifted an oak tree, as were all other gold medal winners. When he returned, it was planted at the local high school and is still there today.

That's a great fact. That's so good, yeah. And I guess Josh blacklisted from the show. Heather Morgan, your most recent episode, was planted at the local high school and is still there today. That's a great fact. That's so good. Yeah. And I guess Josh blacklisted from the show. Heather Morgan, your most recent episode 563 is not the first time James has shown his card three Hoovers. James suggested that most penis injuries come from vacuum cleaners. In an earlier episode from a few months ago, the listeners, they really don't let you get

away with anything. James implied some sort of relationship between himself and his Henry Hoover. Yeah, I don't own a Henry Hoover. Not anymore. The restraining order. The human rights lawyer took it away. So Michael Mansfield QC appearing for Henry. Yeah, fair enough. I just think it's a funny trope. It's funny. It's funny trope. And so it just is the first thing that comes to my head when someone talks about hoovers. It's the first joke that comes into my mind and I very rarely go to the second joke. We've never heard it. Here's something about, we mentioned conductors who don't use their hands. And you mentioned

Leonard Bernstein doing his eyebrows. Was it Leonard Bernstein? Here we go. Yeah, it was Bernstein. Because he was in the film, the famous film. Well, Rose from Utah, right? Bank pipe pipe majors always conduct without their hands because they are facing the other way from the band. So using their hands would be a bit, you know, they're facing the wrong way for that. So they keep time with their feet.

Uh, dancing. Is that like a marching? Exactly. It's great seeing a pipe back because the conductor is right at the front. He's, he's marching. Maybe there'll be a bath on, but that's, that's sometimes more decorative. He should walk backwards because then he won't spill his tea. Absolutely.

Yeah. So thank you for that. Great one. Great one, Rose. Oh, James. Yes, Andrew. There's one for you here. Great.

Martin Green. He's about golf. Oh, Green. Well, you're going to be in the rough in a minute. I got my Hoover back from the Airbnb. You stayed in. This is something you said a few weeks ago. It was that Courtney Pike was the angling correspondent for the Suffolk Gazette.

Yes, I've had some correspondence about this. Yeah, apparently I got tricked by a gag. It's a joke website, the Suffolk Gazette. And I didn't, you know. But you did it, that was a massive list that you did. So if one was wrong, then was it all wrong? No, it wasn't all wrong. So just one wrong?

That's gonna happen. That's gonna happen. As Dan's approach to fact finding. Customer service at its finest. It's gonna to happen. That's going to happen. As Dan's approach to fact finding. Customer service at its finest. It's going to slip through. I know, I know.

I just, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I did a big long list and Courtney Pike. I actually only saw the Pike bit when I did the list. And then Andy pointed out Courtney Pike is also a phrase. And then I thought, what a brilliant name. And it turned out that it's so brilliant because someone thought of it. Yeah.

Well, fair enough. But as Dan says, it's gonna happen. No one's hurt. In that case, no one's hurt. That one's just fine. It's like the time, I mean, we've all, gosh, we've all done this. Do you remember my big flub?

I do because you insisted we do an advert at the top of the next show to correct it. Do you remember that? The April Fool's one about the elephants in Cornwall? Yeah. Oh boy. I don't remember this. What did you say? It was saying that all the major roads in Cornwall today follow the roots of migrating elephants

during the last ice age. And that's the joke is I should have realized it's not true because there aren't any major roads in Cornwall, sadly. Hey, you were devastated at the time. I was so gusted. Literally did an apology at the top of the show. Quite right, too. I should have just said, it's going to happen. Oh, well, let's have a Corkney Pike apology next week.

Get onto it immediately. Here's a great bonus fact about someone we mentioned a little while ago. So we mentioned Dick Swe while ago. So we mentioned Dick Sweat, an American politician. Oh yeah, I remember him. Izumi Kajimoto writes, I went to university with the former US ambassador to Denmark. Two additional facts. One, he was a triathlete. Dick Sweat is a jock. Two, his roommate's name was Timber Dick. No! not a real name. That's a nickname, isn't it? I don't know. I have not looked it up.

I mean, it sounds plausible. Timber passed away tragically, but had a notable career and family. Ten kids. Wow. You wouldn't have thought that would be possible, would you, with his assets? Congratulations, Timber. And thank you Izumi. Timber and thank you Izumi. Timber! This never happens, I swear! Andrew X writes, formerly Andrew Twitter. Sorry.

Sorry. He says that Andrew the 10th. His Pope Andrew the 10th. Right. I was a little bit worried about the advice you gave in the Valentine's Day episode that immediately doing CPR on a severely hypothermic, seemingly dead person is the right thing to do. This could potentially kill them by pumping cold blood to their core and giving them a heart attack.

From my Wilderness First Responder training, I thought this was a definite no-no, but on checking current advice seems to be a little more nuanced, but you really need to be careful. And I think we can all get behind that. So is this the kind of thing we say at the top of next week's episode? Or is that- Don't face your, if your friend is in the ice,

don't get your podcast out. I know there was something about this on episode of Fit recently. No, I gotta listen from the start, otherwise I wanted to understand it. It's not sticky. I've just got to send them a quick email about that. So yeah, I think we're happy to set the record straight on that. I mean, it's nuanced. Is it like really? Well, in that case it worked, right? Like in that case it did work. So yeah, quite famously. So there we go. One last one. Yeah. This is good news. Woohoo. We're going to be rich. Woohoo. Yeah. Lovely.

David John Welsh writes, I'm a Nigerian prince. Although you probably no longer need the money after the successful multimillion dollar lawsuit with Lin-Manuel Miranda. We invented Hamilton the musical basically, months before he came out to the scene with his musical. I'm writing to inform you of another potential lawsuit. I often listen to old episodes of Fish on my commute, usually at random. Imagine my surprise then on hearing the un-broadcastable material from 2014. I think that was a compilation, our first compilation probably, where it was Zara Ville, here's the worst of fish. Yeah, it just started. Alex hosted it. I know. I can't believe we had enough of un-broadcastable material.

Yeah. I was surprised to hear you all basically pitch, is it cake, a full eight years before that show made its way onto Netflix? No way. So David adds some nuance here, I'm afraid. Okay, so the item in your pitch wasn't cake, it was bushes. The episode I'd listened to right before it was the drop of the line in which you created Keiko. So you might, oh, do you remember the superhero Keiko? I don't remember what Keiko did. It was the Keiko the killer whale.

The whale, but no, the superhero Keiko was different, was not a whale, I'm sure. Anyway, here's the quotes. But it was based on Keiko the whale. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Here are these quotes from this episode from 10 years ago. Andy says, be the bush. It's just a load of bushes and you have to guess which one is a person.

Dan says, camouflage the TV series, which of these is not a tree. So that's, that's very similar to is it cake where you're presented with an objection. It's either cake or not. It's basically the same format. It is. Yeah. Uh, as the person who brought this to your attention, I will expect you will want to offer me a large cash reward. I appreciate the sentiment, but I will settle for just knowing from where Kaco produces his or her cake. the sentiment but I will settle for just knowing from where Keiko produces his or her cake. So thank you David. I reckon probably a damaged blowhole. So that's thank you so much everybody. That's all that's our lot today And just keep sleuthing them into the inbox. We love getting them.

Podcast at qi.com. Yeah, if you've listened to an old episode and you find that we've predicted something that subsequently happened, we really love that stuff. Or any suggestion for how we can make millions. Yeah, that would be useful. We're up for it. And just, I mean, thanks so much for your correspondence. And...

So it is very sarcastic, isn't it? What, the way I speak? And just, I mean, thanks so much for your correspondence. And... It is very sarcastic, isn't it? What, the way I speak? Just, the thank you specifically. It's very hard to do sincerely. Yeah, sorry, yeah. Guys, thank you. No, that sounds worse.

Yeah, it's not, but once someone tells you it sounds sarcastic, you can only sound more sarcastic. No, no, no, thanks for nothing. That was really good, Andy. Oh, sure. Interesting. How interesting. Bye. That was really good Andy. Interesting. How interesting. Bye!