No Such Thing As A Fish - Little Fish: Four Times a Knight

Episode Date: September 13, 2026

Anna gives a huge spoiler to one of Andy's novels, while they and James discuss YOUR facts. This week's subjects include Google, bloopers, Kenyan elephants and Kurt Vonnegut. And the gang announce eight more Friend of the Podcast custodians. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreonEdited by James HarkinProduced by Leying LeeTeam includes Tara Dorrell, Joe Mayo and Ethan Ruparelia

And welcome to another episode of Little Fish. My name is James Harkin. I am joined today by Andrew Hunter Murray and Anna Tashinsky, and we are going to go through all of your facts. Things that you've sent to the email podcast at QI.com, and he has gone through them. He has picked out the very sweetest of plums, as we often say. And he's sent them to us, and we will read them out and discuss them

and see if they're true, see if they're not true, see if they're interesting, see if they're not interesting, Who knows what we will do. But let's get started. I've got a sweet plum. Go on then. Doug Steen sent this in. I feel like we've heard from Doug Steen before.

Oh, yeah. Haven't we? Frequent Flyer. And Frequent Flyer, Doug Steen says, if you've not already seen it, I thought you might find this fun. And as professional entertainers, that's us,

use it as... That's the nicest thing anyone's ever called me, I think. It's very sweet, isn't it? Thanks, Doug. But he says, let this be a cautionary tale. Hegelicus, an ancient Greek actor. we only know about him because he really, really fluffed up his line. And then he sent a link.

And it is this guy who's incredibly famous throughout ancient Greece because at the premiere of Euripides-Arrestes in 408 BC, he screwed up a crucial line. And literally sort of every writer for about 300 years ripped into him about it. Do we know the line? We do, yes. A lot of pressure here, Anna. If you fuck up a fucked up line, is it doing it right again?

I don't know. But anyway, he was playing the part of Arestes and the line was supposed to be, after the storm, I see once more calm. After the storm, I see calm once more. Okay. But instead, he said, after the storm. I see calm.

It's really similar to that. If it was in English, that would have been what it was. Oh, wow. Because it was in Greek, it was after the storm, I see a weasel once more. Oh, my God. And in ancient Greek, and I didn't know this, ancient Greek was a tonal language like Chinese.

And they're really similar. The words for Weasel and the words for Calm. And he just accidentally changed the tone a little bit at the last minute. And the audience were absolutely killing themselves over it. It's Weasily done. Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-whisly done. Yeah, it's totally different. Brilliant.

There are the classics. There are the two classics. I think they were also in Aristophanes, were they? Definitely. It's so funny you mention Aristophanes. Oh, is this not Aristophanes? No, it wasn't. But it was in Euripides, but then Aristophanes wrote a play three years later

where he quoted the Weasel line. This is how famous it was. I guess because there wasn't a rich media landscape then. So you know that show The Laughter Files with Dennis Norton. Dennis Norton, yeah. Where it was like he used to show like outtakes from TV shows. But they don't do that anymore, really, didn't it? They don't do it anymore.

But that will hit a very specific section of the audience will suddenly have remembered Dennis Norton's The Lafter Files. But there are loads of TV shows, so there are loads of bloopers to put in a show and you can get an hour of them. Whereas in ancient Greece, there's one blooper. One blueper. And it just is on repeat for 300. years.

I know. When I was a kid, you used to get these videos of, like, when footballers mess up, and they show, like, 101 fuck-ups for a football match. That's what it was called, wasn't it, in the 90s? But it was always the same ones. Like, it was always the same, like, the goalkeeper throwing the ball into his own goal. And you'd have famous, in any kind of bloopery things, you'd have the famous ones that everyone at school would know about for a year, like, you know in that video when so-and-so.

It was a better time in media, I would say. But you know what spoiled it? It was when media companies started. owning their own bloopers and then you'd watch a movie and at the end they put the bloopers in or something and you're like you're not supposed to be laughing at this we're supposed to be laughing at you yeah yeah and then animated ones started making their own fake bloopers and that really wise me up i actually love those oh come on that's pretty good the toy story bloopers where woody gets his line wrong that's really funny it's funny it's funny i think it's bad when it's a serious film like i wish

christopher nolan would stop doing it at the end of all of his films like those interstellar bloopers that he put over the credits. They really took me out of it. Wait, he didn't. Is that a joke? Yeah, it's a joke. I just, I don't, look, I'm not familiar enough with no-lims. As a professional entertainer, I was making a joke, and I won't do it again.

Just let me know afterwards. I think there were what you could have said at the end of Shindler's list. Those bloopers were terrible. That would have been funnier. And that's why James is a professional professional. Yeah. Can I do a fact? Yes, please.

This is a bit of a drop-as-aliny one, but it's borderline. So it refers to something that we actually did have in the show a few weeks ago, right? But I thought this was better here. I'm just showing my working before I dazzle you with the thing, okay? Very niche knowledge required to understand this explanation. Tom McClatchy, thank you for this fact. He says, medium fun fact, setting the expectations. Tom's a professional emailer, I'm saying it.

Mahat McGandy could have met Jack the Ripper. Oh. Now this was about whether Gandhi could have seen a wind turbine in his life. And also whether Jack the Ripper could have seen a wind turbine. Exactly. And we worked out that both of those two people could have seen winter bays. But what you're saying is that one of those people could have been the other person. I'm not saying anything.

Hang on. That's a leap. But go on. What a cover. I mean, what an incredible cover could be the most famous pacifist, the most peace and love person of all the size. It would be the other person you least expect, wouldn't they? If you were to list all like 10 billion people who have ever lived, who was most likely to be Jack the Ripper, I think. He would have been the last.

But he just arrived. How old was he? Young, very young. I think it was a student. Maybe he was about 19 years old. Oh, so old enough to still do the murders. Very much so. Right.

Well. Was he got his whole career an act of atonement for... I think so? A killing spree. A cover up. Yeah. There's got to be a cover up. There we go.

I think the months don't quite stack up. But if we're saying, he's clever enough to sort the months out, you know. Where did he study? Did he stay in India his whole life? No, no. So this was... No, he was in London. He was in London.

He was in London during 1888 when the murders were happening. He was here as a student and he was... Was he living in a student digs in Whitechapel? He was moved around a lot, actually. But everyone said he was a great neighbour and he kept himself to himself. Good. All over the conspiracy theorists out there. What fun, another documentary in the making.

Dan, if you're listening. That one's for you. Okay, here is one from me. Actually, it's from John Gray. And I just think we can't let these shows go past without a bit of extremely oblique football knowledge, which just seems to be a bit of a common thread. John writes that at the World Cup,

Netherlands striker Justin Clivert missed his penalty on the 29th of June, 2026 against Morocco, hitting the left-hand post as he was looking at the goal. Don't need to tell you that, Andy. So it's World Cup, right? World Cup. Jesus. Do I have to go through every word in this sentence?

Now, spookily, his father, Patrick Clivert, the very famous Netherlands footballer, also missed a penalty kick on the 29th of June. That was in 2000 against Italy at the European Championships hitting exactly the same posts. What, they're using the same goalpost. It's 26 years, oh my God. No, he missed it so badly. It ended up in America. No, hitting the left-hand post. Wow.

Spooky with footballs for the O's. is just if you're doing an Oscar about this. Get this woman a job doing that Google thing of the day. It's great. Thank you. How do you audition for that job? Well, you just have the picture. I'm here.

I imagine the CVs look amazing that people send in for that job. Guys, have you ever done the game, by the way? You know when you can't find a webpage and it shows you that little dragon thing. And you mentioned this the other day. On this very show. Oh, I am such a boring person that not only have I done it, but I've mentioned it twice. Yeah. Moving on.

Hi, Anna, we really liked your idea for the Google Doodle, but we've actually done that for the last three weeks. Have you thought about just having each letter a different primary colour? Okay, let's move on. And this is from Susan Partington from New Zealand. And I think I know why Andy included this one. She says, I'm currently reading Andrew Hunter Murray. this marvelous new book, Bad Deeds. Don't recall that bit of the email.

That's weird that you kept it in because it's not that relevant, actually. It really puts into doubt the rest of the email for me. I feel like she's probably on, what do you call those narrators? Unreliable. I think she's an unreliable narrator. You know who else is unreliable.

Alex, the protagonist of Bad Deeds, I tell you that much. Look, she says, here's the link to Andy's book. Andy's book features a character called Jack Denver. Correct. I've read it, it does, he's either the villain or not the villain depending on whether you finish it. Okay.

Spoiler, very much alert. Once you've read the first 10 pages, you can say, whatever happens with Jack Denver is probably going to be flipped around at the end. Wait. Yeah, but you don't know which way. Anna, that's the biggest, that's the biggest, that's an Anna Karenna level event. People are going to be sobbing at home. The lives were building up to reading this book.

Someone's on page 399. I said, what was the point now? I left it open. I did the Trojdinger's cat. Is he alive or dead? I can't remember now. Anyway, her fact is, the state capital of Colorado

was named after Governor James Denver, hence the link, to curry favor with him, the governor of Colorado, as it was newly made. But he'd just resigned from office. It's just the news hadn't yet reached Colorado.

So the reason Denver is called Denver was to curry favor with a bloke who was already out of the job at the time. That's very funny. Yeah, there you go. I've got a choice of two American name facts, which would you like? Oh, great. That's the good one. One or two? That's both pretty good. All right.

This is from Blake Hossack. And it's sort of about sport and it's sort of about American names. So there is a new professional women's baseball league in the USA. I announced on the 8th of July, Independence Day plus four.

And they announced the names of their first four teams when they announced the league, the New York height, the Boston Hunters, the San Francisco Firebells, and the Los Angeles Queens. Of these four teams in the league, two of them are named after a person

with an appropriate name rather than a functional quality. The New York height are named for Dorothy Height. He was a basketball player. It's baseball, sadly. I know. I read it as basketball the first time. Dorothy Height was a very prominent woman in the civil rights movement. That's great.

And the Boston Hunters are named after Harriet Hunt, who was the first woman to apply to Harvard Medical School. That's really. Lovely. Lovely. Two in one. I know. There you go.

What a deal. What a great deal. Yep. Here's one from Skelg Numo. Let's say that I absolutely nailed that. Yep. Because Skelk's not here to say that I didn't. But it is about Norway.

And Skelk says that the order of the Norwegian lion was a Norwegian order of knighthood established by King Oscar II in 1904. Despite being a Norwegian order, not a single Norwegian ever received it. Love it. And that's basically because Norway and Sweden were kind of a joint country around that time. And all the people who received it were actually Swedes. One Norwegian got it, that feels like very bad odds. Yeah.

The new king of Norway, Harkin, Harkin, the seventh, became grandmaster of the order, but he was actually born in Denmark. Oh, dear. And were Norway just quite crap at things for a time? Do write in. Or was there some kind of prejudice? Probably some kind of inbuilt prejudice. I think it was the fact that the Swedes were more of the upper ilk in those days.

Because when you look on the Wikipedia of all the people who had it, they all have this weird sort of flag, which is neither Sweden nor Norway. And it's kind of the Sweden-Norway joint country flag. And then you have to go and check every single one of them to make sure they were born in Sweden if you're doing your due diligence on this fact. How many were there? Oh, only about a dozen.

Okay, not too bad. Didn't take up you a week? The queen, the true queen of England. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. QE2. Yeah. She was a knight of the elephant in Denmark, the knight of the golden fleece in Spain,

the knight of the white eagle in Poland, and the knight grand cross at the order of the Netherlands lion in Netherlands. Wow. They're pretty solid names, aren't they? Four times a knight. That was her nickname, of course. Can you still go to the Tower of London, even though she's not here anymore?

Probably. You never see her wearing the knight's gear, ever? Well, you don't know because you don't know that it's her. If you see a knight in full armour but carrying a corgi, that will have been the queen. I see. Okay, so visor down, I suppose. She don't.

Yeah. Never took a visor up if she. Because I went to Warrick Castle a little while ago where they have lots of stuff about Zog, the Dragon, and they had someone dressed as a knight there. I don't know that wasn't the queen. No, you don't. You can suspect it wasn't.

It was before she died. Otherwise, that would be, you know, the zombie queen. I told you to deny about my visit to Walmer Castle in Kent. I'm sure you did, Andy. Which is one of the, it's where the warden of the sink ports used to have their traditional place. It's synch, not sank. It looks like sank for the five pores.

It's not how you say it. But it said sync. Anyway, they had a queen mum impersonator there. Queen mum died, I would say, 25 years before my visit to Warmer Castle last year. And they had, it was so weird because she was not very good. Oh, really? She was just a slightly elderly lady in a floral dress. Do you think the job becomes easier as people forget what the Queen Mother was like

because it's been quite a while since she died? Probably does. Does seem like it would, yeah. She had a kind of consort with her, a big guy who was not meant to be, I think, a king. I don't think so. It's just a guy in a suit. But I made some joke about the, oh, the Queen Mum, you'll have started all the gins, won't you? And she did not laugh.

Because the Queen Mum did like a drink. And she liked to laugh. Well, this one. So she would have laughed. Yeah, yeah. So it wasn't the real one. You know that. Wasn't the real one.

I suspect the real Queen mum wasn't at your castle and the real Queen wasn't at yours, actually. I'm starting to think the same. Don't you think it's weird that they've changed the pronunciation of that. that word to sink when in a port, one of the last things you want, of course. Very good point. So they should change it back. Is it just because they don't want it to sound French? It might have been, yeah, because it's a Henry the 8th era innovation, the sync ports.

You know, it's warmer and it's deal and sandwich, which were anti-French defence places. So that was the deal. You could use the word five, couldn't you? And that would solve all your sink. The five ports. Don't like it. Not the same ring. that. No. Okay, fair enough.

I think this is the best fact I've read this week from a listener, and this is from Leon Miller Out, and it's about Kenyan Cave Elephants, which I can't believe I didn't know about, but he says, I just learned about Kenyan Cave Elephants, which seems so incredibly improbable, I'm very amused by their existence, and they indeed, oh, they're amazing. Do you guys know about these? Cave elephants. You almost certainly do, you QI veterans. Not sure. But they, basically, they exist kind of on the border of Kenya and Uganda. I think there are only a few hundred left.

And they excavate caves for themselves to find the salt inside the cave. So they get their tusks into the ground. They'll find a little hole, make it bigger and bigger. They usually access a big lava flow where there's like a big tunnel. And there's not live lava in it. They're not sailing down hot lava. And there are photos of elephants deep down inside the bounds of the earth. And they go there to lick the salt out of the caves.

And it's because there's too much rainfall there, which sweeps all the salts off the foliage off the ground on the surface. So they need to find salt somewhere. So they dig out their own caves. It sounds crazy. It does sound a Dan Schreiber style, did you know, on the Ugandan border with Kenya, there are these cave elephants. Yeah. It sounds too crazy to be true. And who fought against salt in post-colonial India?

Jack the Ripper. I'm just trying to put all of the facts together like Dan would do. Yeah, absolutely. Tied up beautifully. And it's almost time we tied this up, actually. Oh, is it? Can I give you a nice brief one from Randy Banderob? Oh, yes.

Excellent. Randy writes, my fact is, the author Kurt Vonnegut. Oh, yeah? A huge deal in sci-fi. Slaughter house sank. It's actually sink. Kurt Vonnegut opened up one of the first Saab dealerships in North America, but it went bankrupt within its first year.

So Saab, the Swedish car. brand just to bring it back to Scandinavia. We had a Saab when I was young. Good fact. Is that the end of that anecdote? It certainly is. But we didn't buy it from Kurt Vonnegut. No. Because we didn't live in West Barnstable. It sounds like very few people bought it from Kurt Vonnegut. Well, Saab have stopped making cars now.

They've gone out of the car business and they're now in the business of supersonic uncrewed aircraft, submarines and anti-tank weapons. They've pivoted very hard towards like high-end military. Yeah. We had one of those when I was young. Same. That's amazing. I didn't know that about stuff.

Yeah, they're really like they're properly high-end tech now. But at the time, they were not very cool when Kurt Vonnegut was trying to sell them in America.

And part of the reason was, I just love this. It was a two-stroke and not a four-stroke engine. It was boring. But the point is, every time you filled your tank with petrol,

you had to pour in a separate like canful of oil as well so that it mixed and stayed the right suspension. And obviously nobody wanted to do this because it was a completely, pain in the bum to do. So nobody wanted a sob.

And they went bust. I can imagine that being a selling point. Like those crisps where you used to have the little sachet of salt that came along with them. Yeah. That was quite fun. Yeah, true. I can imagine it being a fun element. I disagree.

My car has been telling me to put washer fluid into it for about 18 months now. And I keep thinking, because it's electric car, so I don't really go to petrol stations very often, which is where I would buy washer liquid from. Yeah. I just keep thinking, oh, I should buy some washer liquid. And I can imagine the same happening in this. And you get your wife a lot fewer flowers now, don't you? Now you're not going to petrol stations anymore.

You've just triggered a memory in me. I went to an electric car event day recently. Oh yeah. And I met a bloke. I met a bloke. He made his own petrol at home. What? Was it like out of fish and chip oil?

Because people do that, didn't they? Oh, maybe it was. I mean, he had a recipe. It is illegal. No, it's not illegal, but you have to pay the equivalent amount of fuel tax that you would have done if you'd have bought it. from the petrol pump? No.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, how many people are doing that? I imagine all of them. People are going to the effort for getting old chip oil and putting it into their cars. Yeah, but you have to sell up this whole mad thing in your garage or whatever and make your own petrol. What cool guy. You know, I mean, yeah, it's nice to have a hobby. And he's at the electric.

So that's useful. That was in the old days. He used to do this when he was, you know. I see, because you are using something. You're also upcycling something, I suppose. then he's still got emissions. He now makes his own batteries out of battered sausages. Okay, on that lie, shall we move on to?

I prefer to call it a joke, but you know. I just think of imagine that is the front row of the comedy saw. Lie! Not true, not true. Fake news. That's very true. Sorry, I forgot that I wasn't hosting this even. Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah. On that note of a brilliant joke, we should move on. to the, my favourite part of the show, I would say, which is where we hand out some of our facts to people on the top tier of our Patreon. If you want to get your own fact, then go to patreon.com slash no such things of fish,

join on the top tier. And we will make you a custodian. So who has got a fax to hand out? I've got one here, and this is to go into the care of Hannah Deval, with two A's, a bit like sob. So there you go. Just a coincidence.

Just binding James's hands for the edit process. Lashing into the mast of the curvanicot fact. Great. I kind of say to anyone listening, we very rarely cut facts from this because we record quite sharp. Well, you might have noticed as a listener, the quality is steeply declined.

So this is one of my favourite facts I ever found, actually, is that houses in Bali are built in proportion to the owner's body. Do you remember this? in this is his way. Did we all make the incredibly obvious joke? I suspect so, yes. Do you want to make the obvious joke again? Really long drain pipe or something?

Really short drain pipe. Some sort of penitzy joke. Yeah, a huge dining room. And this was that you get measured before you get a house made, don't you? So if you want to build an extension, I think you also have to extend your own body in proportion. Maybe, that's mine. But if you want to remove the conservatory, you have to have yourself decapitated. Yeah.

So it's a big decision. That is amazing really. You would be able to know, like you could walk into a town to visit your friend and you'd be able to know which house was theirs immediately, I guess. Or if you're a cop looking for a very tall suspect. Yeah. You know you go to the long house. Yeah.

Anyway, that's a great one. Enjoy that, Hannah DeValle. Lovely. Here's one that goes out to Millie. Millie, congratulations to you because your fact is, according to Isaac Newton the world is going to end in 2060 So you've got 34, 33 years to enjoy that fact, Millie

I'm sure you will And basically Isaac Newton came up with a load of old cobbler As well as the laws of physics It's funny, isn't it? There was a lot of old cobbler going around in those days Wasn't there in fairness? Very true. Yeah, yeah

Here is one that is now going out to Abigail Harris-Jones And Abigail, your fact is that there is only a one an 800,000 chance that nobody will cough during this podcast recording. Even lower if I'm in it, according to James, when he does the edit? Well, quite, yeah. Sorry, that's the noise I make, isn't it? That's the noise that you make probably every two and a half minutes, usually over someone's punchline in a joke. It's because I want to cover up the lies that are propagated by this show.

But yeah, I think one of the ideas is that people cough more. in theatres than they would in the rest of life because you're kind of suppressing it and you're holding it in and then eventually it just gets worse and worse and you have to let it out. I understand that. I went to a classical concert the other day and there are these weird cough breaks in between movements where you're not meant to clap but you are meant to cough.

Is that right? It's a bit of free time for everyone to just have a bit of a rummage around. Okay. Would you not, I think I would cough during the big crescendo. That's another very good way of doing it. Or I go, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. like that just some people didn't notice it because there was another bit yeah that's great that's a great idea that is really good yeah

you got to do you memorize the piece beforehand so that you know how to sing along and insert your cough in the right I do you know that there's an app you can find where it's always the best time to go to the toilet in movies oh yeah I have that app but for operas and when's the best time to cough that is genuinely a good idea yeah well I mean not a good idea but I can see it being useful. I can't. I love it. It's funny that classical music thing, yeah, because everyone does always cough and it's like they've all been saving it up. It's the same when you go and watch snooker. Is it? Yeah. Because you can't cough when someone's about to play the shot, but you know that some people, in a crowd of 500 people, let's say, someone wants to cough when they're playing

their shot. And so as soon as there's a little break and they're just sort of the referees picking up the balls and putting it where it's supposed to go, you do hear people like, and just getting them all out at once. And also the World Championships is in the middle of spring when everyone just seems to get a cold in Sheffield. I don't know why, but my memory is that that was the one time of year when everyone got colds. Maybe it's a pollen thing. Maybe it's hay fever. Here's another one.

This is the fact that the Coliseum has recently banned Centurians. And this fact is to go to Ria Kana. I think in the fact as we've sent it to Ria, we probably should have removed the word recently. Yes. Given that it was about 10 years ago. I guess it's recent in the context of ancient Rome. Exactly. Still recent.

They're not in their heyday. Let's face it. And they're not real ones, right? This is bad, fake tourist centurians who try and strong arm. Literally, uh, tourists into taking photos for money and stuff like that. Yes. Or stage fights and things like that. What they should have done instead of like banning them and getting the police to get rid of them,

they should have got lions. To chase them. That's such a good idea. That's really funny one. Here's one that goes out to Darren John. Congratulations, Darren, because your fact is, from 1978 to 1991, tens of thousands of chicken heads were dropped from helicopters over Switzerland. One of those facts, you cannot see which way it's going, you know?

Tens of thousands of chicken heads and then helicopters and then Switzerland. Just a lovely, a real roller coaster ride. These were vaccinated chicken heads. which were full of the vaccine against rabies, it would the hope that the foxes would eat the chicken heads and become immune to rabies. Okay, my next one is that in 2015, a 10-year study concluded that punching glass is very dangerous.

Now, that fact goes out to you, Sarah Williams, and you can keep it on your wall behind a pane of glass maybe, which no one will ever punch because they'll really be. read the fact and know, aha, I shouldn't do that. Yeah. Smart. So do you think everything that's framed on a wall should be that fact? Because otherwise you're in danger of punching it. I feel like I will now scribble that fact on every painting in the National Gallery.

Nice. Everyone behind glass anyway, just so that people know. Good idea. Yeah. Here's another one. And this one is for Helga Thorowrinz dot here. And this is that the oldest turkey in the UK is called dinner. Pretty mean fact. Although it survived.

Well, I don't know if the turkey is still with us. I can't be. Because this was about 2017 we did this. How long do turkeys live for? About eight months normally, I guess. It just feels like the oldest anything when it's almost 10 years later is no longer going to be a thing, is it?

But yeah. One more? Yeah, go on. All right. Last one. This goes out to Beth. Beth, your fact is that Carrie Grant and Clark Gable

used to meet once a year at Christmas to exchange unwanted monogrammed gifts they had received. Of this fact. Of course. Classic fact. Anna Tudjinsky fact. This was a Christmas show, wasn't it? Of course. That's why there's a turkey fact.

I remember we did this show either up the creek. I think it was up the creek. And this was a fact that was sent in by someone who went on to an employer as a researcher, in fact. Really? Yeah, it was by Lauren. What's it? Shout out to Lauren Gilbert. Oh, sorry.

I thought you meant Beth who was receiving the fact was... Yeah, she doesn't know it yet. fact, and it came from her and now it's back to her and she's become a friend of the bonkers. I got very confused. Yeah, I don't know why you thought that. Because I wasn't listening. Beth, don't quit your job. If you're listening now and you've already sent your resignation letter.

Beth will see you next Monday. Sharp 9am at the QI offices. Welcome aboard. Who would you swap your monogram gifts with? AM. AM rather than AHM. I think AHM will be too difficult. Andy Murray?

Yeah, well, you could then swap not just monograms, but like personalised. Yeah, the whole thing. Where do you get your, well, I suppose just school clothes with your name stitch in. We'll swap school pullovers. That'll be great.

Yeah. No, A.M. Oh, I don't know. Andrew Mountbatten. Andrew Mountbatten. Oh, great. I think I'll put those on a hot wash if we're swapping anything.

Oh, dear. Oh, dear. James? I couldn't think of anyone myself, which was why I asked you to. J.H. The only person I can think of was Joan Harris. Did she write chocola?

She did write chocola. Yeah. I'll take that. She probably gets lots of nice gifts. Is she still alive? Oh, yes. Very much so. Yeah.

She'll get loads of chocolate, actually. She's not a bad. Although, can you monogram chocolate? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like an Easter egg with J.H. Written. Perfect.

Oh, I'm jealous. And she can get my monogram golf balls. It's not a great swap, Joan. And then AP could be comedian Andy Parsons. Yes. Lovely. What kind of stuff

do we think Andy Parsons gets? So no, he's got a goatee, hasn't he? So like a goatee comb? A goate comb. Yeah. Maybe some jokes. Maybe you get some joke suggestions. I could do with them.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. That is the end of the show. Thank you so much, everyone, for writing in with your facts to podcast. At QI.com.

And thank you very much, indeed. to Beth, Helga, Sarah, Darren, Ria, Abigail, Millie and Hannah. Thank you so much for becoming friends of the podcast. And like I say, if you go to patreon.com slash no six things and fish, you two can get your own fact. That is it for today. Thank you very much to Andrew Hunter Murray. Thank you. Thank you, Anna.

Would you like to do a quick cough? Yeah, okay. Thank you. And it's also goodbye from me. Goodbye.