No Such Thing As A Fish - No Such Thing As A Frozen Chicken Haunting

Episode Date: December 18, 2015

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss coughing giraffes, naked Roman ghosts, and why we should stop punching glass.

That didn't work at all. Let's have the theme chain. Welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a weekly podcast this week coming to you from the Up the Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich. My name is Dan Shriver, and please welcome to the stage. It's the three regulars Anna Chisinski, James Harkin and Andy Murray. And once again, we have gathered around the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last seven days. particular order, here we go. Starting with you, James Harkin.

Okay, my fact this week is that there is only a one in 800,000 chance that nobody will cough during this podcast recording. How are those odds looking now? Yeah, so there's a recent study done. I saw this on the improbable website, and it was by Professor Andreas Wagner from the University of Hanover and it was called Why Do People Not Cough in Concerts? The Economics of Concert's Etiquette.

And he basically found out the probability that a certain number of people would cough and I kind of extrapolated his data into the number of people who are here tonight and got it completely wrong. I did hear genuine coughs. There was one.

No, we put the idea in their minds now. Yeah, I have an unbearable urge to cough. I know I'm not very suggest. this could really have spiled the entire podcast. So I read a different report that suggested that people actively try to cough more when they go to classical concerts. Yeah. What? Yeah.

They find themselves just wanting to... Well, I knew it. They're so annoying. Why are they doing that all the time? I don't know. I mean... Hang on. You haven't looked into what their motivation is.

I was kind of hoping one of you guys had. It was at the top of the Google search. I figured you guys would read it. Well, luckily enough, I did look at it. into that. Told you. There's a few different thoughts. One is that you might be showing displeasure

to the performance. And you'll think it's a bit like, I'm not happy, I'm just going to cough. You're a great bar, cello. Look at that. Yeah, and the other thing is, maybe you are actively suppressing the idea that you're going to cough through most

of it, and then suddenly you think, okay, this is a loud bit. I can finally cough, and you would do it then. Okay. People always do it. in the loud parts. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. There's a guy called Robert R. Provine, who writes amazing studies on sneezing and yawning and on coughing. And he does all these studies on sort of bits of the bits of human experience that don't get much scientific attention because they're not seen as important.

And so he has studied lots and lots of people about coughing. And he did an experiment. He asked people to cough. So on average, you can cough within 1.7 seconds if you're asked to. Whereas if you're asked to sneeze on demand, most people can't do it.

And if they can, the average time is 8.1 seconds to sum up a sneeze, which I think is amazing that anyone can do that. In eight seconds, it would take me ages to work up a sneeze.

Yeah. I used to have a friend that could vomit on command. It's true. It's true. Some people have this. And he would only need a tiny sip of something

and then he'd go, and just yak up onto the street. That's amazing. It was extraordinary. What does he do these days? Australia's got talent. Do you know that so talking of sneezing and coughing,

a cough leaves your mouth at 50 miles an hour, which is quite fast. And I think it's, yeah, 3,000 droplets are expelled when you cough. So one cough, 3,000 droplets are expelled. When you sneeze, it leaves your mouth at more than 200 miles an hour and more than 40,000 droplets are expelled from your mouth in one sneeze. Wow. How cool is that?

Wait, how many miles in it? More than 200 miles an hour for a sneeze, 50 for a cough, so it's way ahead. If you sneeze in a car that is going at 80 miles an hour, I suppose technically that sneeze is going at 280 miles an hour. I feel like I need to explain relativity to you. No, I mean... Now is not the time. So people who are extremely bothered by coughing

might have a thing called mesophonia, which is basically it's a kind of thing where you're really bothered by any kind of noise, But coughing is one of them. Chewing food is another one. And... We've got a few mesophones in tonight. Misophones, I think it's someone that sounds like a cough. There's a ten-level scale of misophonia,

and you can go online and see which one you are. Level five is when you cover your ears, if someone's coughing or kind of chewing or whatever. Level nine is consciously suppressing the desire to do harm to others. And level 10 is actual violence. Wow. Level 7, I found really interesting.

It said in level 7, there was a few different things, and one of them was there may be unwanted sexual arousal. Ah. I did read a wiki page about that called coughing fetish, where, yeah, it's an actual thing. It's an actual thing. And we are a growing group of people who demand your respect.

All right? No, it's so, but actually it's a bit misleading because coughing fetish... It's not sexy. It leads to, it redirects to a page called smoking fetish, and it's the fetish of watching people smoke. Well, speaking of getting turned on, you know when... I think you have a new member of your group, Dan. If I can introduce myself. I'm actually okay, and I can promise I will never cough again in case.

stands nearby. But, you know, when someone has a cold, and, like, let's see you're going out with someone who has a cold, and they're like, well, that's disgusting. You're going to be able to cold. I'm not going to come anywhere near you. You're saying, I'm going to kiss you. Actually, there is almost zero percent chance

you're going to get infected from a cold by kissing someone. Right. Like, the only way you can get infected is if nasal mucus dribbles down into your mouth during that. Well, exactly, you're not kissing that guy anyway. So you can't. It's not an excuse. Is that right?

It's not an excuse. But it's also not a reason for someone to kiss you Just because you've got a cold Um Fish cough Yeah I've not got much on this That's a shardest fact ever is it's just two words

Nine letters Yeah They sort of they have particles that clog up their gills And so it's a half cough half sneeze It's not exactly a cough There's an internet factoid That giraffes don't cough Oh yeah I don't think that's true isn't it

It isn't. I found a medical study of a giraffe that was coughing. Would the giraffe know it was about to cough before a human knew they were about to cough because it's got further to go? Yeah, well, most people can cough within like 1.2 seconds. It's like three and a half minutes for a giraffe. But no, there was a giraffe with severe respiratory disease who couldn't stop coughing and ended up dying. But death visits us all, ladies and gentlemen. So, it would have died of something else. James, I've lost them.

Dolphins don't cough. Do they not? No. Do you have any more on that fact? Back to you, Andy. Mice cough. Which is the same length as fish cough. So I've got a joint shortest fact.

But scientists have tested it by spraying them with little mists of capsacin, which is the molecule which makes chili peppers spicy. So they made a mist out of it, and they sprayed a little bit of it at the mice, and then they had tiny microphones to listen. Yeah, because normally you can't hear mice coughing, because it's such a small sound, so they needed extra sensitive microphones. But what, have they built a mouse-sized version of this in my hand? The mice aren't holding the microphones.

There's a tiny mouse podcast somewhere. Humans cough. We're going to have to move on to our next next time. Okay, get a few more in. Oh, my God. So drinking cough syrup before a pie eating championship can shave 1.2 seconds off the time it takes you to eat a pie. Why?

It kind of numbs your throat and lubricates as well, both of those things. Yeah, and so there was a ban on what they called outside gravy in the world pie-eating championships. Outside gravy, that's disgusting.

Yeah, exactly. But it was, it was, the world pie-eating championships is held in Wigan and they thought that people were coming in with this gravy

that was mixed with cough syrup. In 2009, Barry Rigby was the champion of the pie-eating, and this was the first year they brought in the new rule. And just, they asked him,

what is the trick of being a great pie-eater? And he said, I'm not giving too much away, but the basic rule is bite, swallow, bite, swallow. Okay, time for fact number two, and that is my fact. My fact this week is that the Coliseum has recently banned Centurians. Yeah, so basically, obviously, it's a massive tourist attraction now, the area, and like if you went somewhere like Hollywood, they'll have Spider-Man and Superman dressed up there. That's the same thing with the Coliseum. You get people dressed up as

centurions and they're sort of hassling the tourists they're charging too much they're just getting in the way they're like a pest there now basically that they've said you guys are banned and so it's the big holy year next year and so they want to clean it up before the holy year happens and so centurians are no longer allowed at the coliseum the quote from the mayor is amazing because he said that they were inappropriate insistent and sometimes aggressive considering they're dressed as men who, you know, conquered Europe. Well, Centurians, I mean, I think this is very well known, but I just want to make it clear how many people they tended to rule over.

Okay, so it is quite weird. Yeah, that they ruled over 80 people. There would be eight soldiers, and then there'd be 10 blocks of eight, and that would be a centuria, and the centurions rolled over them. But I like that two centurions, do you know what they were called? My centurions? No, it was actually called a mannipple. No.

What? It's called or a maniple. It depends like... But let's not mispronounce for comic effect. Maniple. Yeah, a manniple. A manniple is two centuries of Roman soldiers, and it means literally a handful.

It's from the same origin as manipulation, which is a handful. So they try, because they keep, they keep, for centurions, getting into fights. And in 2013, this is just a story of the kind of scrapes they got into. one of them attacked a tourist and the tourist fell over and broke a finger and the tourist, it was called Jose Asna,

said that he had offered the Centurion more cash because that was the thing, they posed for a photo with you and then they say, give us some money, they say give us five euros or ten euros or whatever. And he said he had offered the Centurion more cash. But, quotes, when I offered extra dollars, he said, in Italy we blow our nose with dollars and called me a son of a bitch,

a mafioso and a cuckold. But it's a hard job. being a living statue, isn't it? There was a guy, I read an interview with a guy called Paul Ed Medes, and he's a living statue. And he said that he's been spat on, prodded, pushed over, sniffed at by dogs, perched on by pigeons. Wow. But he said that occasionally a dog would urinate on him. But he said he liked that because it was a sign that he was doing well.

Wow. But imagine going home. after work and your wife goes, oh, how is your day? And you're like, it was great. I got pissed on my six dogs. There were the first arrests related to living statues in the UK in 2011. And it happened when the invisible king was convicted of assaulting the silver wizard. And the king accused the wizard of stealing his spot, which was by the London Eye, prime turf.

But the twist is, they were flatmates. Imagine that flat. when they're watching TV Are they working? Are they not working? Just, I was looking at street performers on living statues and there's a street performer in Paris

In 2013, the street performer in Paris called Stephen Cohen And with his performance, he wanted to evoke his situation Which was being torn between two countries So his native country was South Africa And then it was France, where he currently lived. And so what he did was he went to the Eiffel Tower and he was dressed like a bird

and he was wearing a garter and tights and these long red gloves and no underwear or trousers and had tied a rooster to his penis and was being led around the Eiffel Tower by his penis by a rooster and that was his art and he

was arrested in decent exposure. Yeah sure I'm cool with that he missed a chance to say it was being pulled around by his cock I looked through online database of street performers. Oh, yeah. And I found, just I love these guys.

They're called whispering trees. An absolute surefire shocker. Brilliant, either side of an entrance. Watch the cue jump. So they just dress as trees, stand really still, and then whisper at you as you go by. Oh, wow. I also found Big Rory.

Okay, and this is the exact entry on Big Rory in this database. Big Rory, the Scots giant with power presence and bagpipes, dangerous, but safe. It's funny. it's a job where you have to be slightly shit to do well. That's true. There's no one pays statues money.

Exactly. Maybe Nelson on top of Nelson's column is a living statue. He's been there for 200 years, not earned a penny. And they have a world statue championships in the Netherlands every year. And it was won by a Britain in 2009, which is really exciting. A guy called Chris Clarkson of Southport. He does a lot of statue work. but before that he was an actor and he'd worked in a touch of frost

and in Hollyoaks where presumably he was fired for having a bit too much expression they asked him like how to be a good statue and he said to stand in front of the television for an hour and a half without moving and then you'll get a feeling of what it's like

because apparently it just really hurts like standing still for long periods really really hurts especially if you're watching Hollyoaks an almost linking fact back to Roman legions and Roman soldiers, but also sort of on the street performances, did you know that Bath is haunted

by a naked Roman soldier? No. Yeah. I didn't know this either, but... Apparently, the apparition is said to be quite convincing, and at one point a police officer in Bath must look at it for a genuine streaker and chased it down the street,

only does it disappear into thin hair? So look out of that. It's a naked Roman soldier, and the question this article asked, which I think you're going to ask me now. If he's naked, how do you know he's a Roman soldier? That is the question. Is he shouting, vainie-vidi-V-Gee-Gee. Sometimes you just know.

That's so good. I've been reading a book about Haunted Bits of Britain by Derrick O'Cora, and that's not in there. There's amazing places. Can I tell you my favorite place of there? I wrote that. It's a... Yovil Railway Station's Buffet.

is haunted by a sausage roll. So just back to the Coliseum very quickly. They had what was probably, because obviously it was a huge arena, and they had seating. There was a seating plan as well. And they had probably the most early version, so far as I can read, of ticketing. And the ticketing was done on pottery.

So you were given shards of pottery, and they'd have chiseled into it your seat, the row that you were in because how many people could they sit in there? About 50,000? Yeah, that's a lot of pottery. That's... That's...

That's why you know when they find ancient Roman pottery is always in little bits and pieces. Because it was all broken up for tickets. The equivalent of one directions back in town. Oh, God. Let's just smash up these. Okay, time for fact number three. And that is Chazinski.

Yeah, my fact this week is that. From 1978 to 1991, tens of thousands of chicken heads were dropped from helicopters over Switzerland. Okay, so, yeah, okay, why? Tell us the story. So this was because there had been a rabies epidemic in Europe from about the 1930s, I think, and foxes were infected with rabies, and it was spreading, and I think it spread about 20 miles a year, so it was gradually encroaching. And they didn't know how to get rid of it until they came up with this idea. In Switzerland, a Swiss scientist came up with this idea.

of putting vaccines, rabies vaccines, into chicken heads that were left over from slaughterhouses, and then dropping them from helicopters over Switzerland, and then foxes eat the chicken heads, and they're immune from rabies. And I just think that's ingenious. And it works. So lots of European countries took this on.

So I think Germany in the late 1980 said, okay, it's a bit weird and barbaric that you're doing this whole chicken head thing. So they manufactured just little fish pellets and dropped them instead with the vaccine in. And it turned out that worked as well. Yeah. It's not as cool, though.

Imagine being in a helicopter with a sack of chicken heads. You'd feel like the king of the world. But the worst thing is, oh, the king of the world is flying over us. I wonder what he's going to distribute. But they did, before they worked out the chicken head thing, they did try other options of how to vacancy. vaccinate foxes. And one of the things, it was called the VAT trap. And it was basically the equivalent of a bear trap. So anything that stood on it would trigger a giant needle that would

just go quang into them and inject them. And they had to stop because too many hikers kept walking along, suddenly getting walloped by a needle. But did you see that they actually didn't stop because of the hikers because they were concerned the people who manufactured it, that that would be a problem. And, you know, people are getting vaccinated against rabies. they don't have when they're on a walk. And they set these traps on a, this is in the US they did this. They set these traps on a beach,

which was a deserted beach. And they thought this is a good place to test out our vaccine. And it turned out that the US Navy was planning to use that deserted beach a few days later for a mock invasion as a training exercise for all of its soldiers. And so the people who'd set them

offered to remove them. And officials argued that the hazards would serve as an additional measure. of the invaders' prowess. So the rabies vaccine was invented by Louis Pasteur. Yeah. A few other people as well, but he's like the headline guy, really. One of the things that he did in the lab is he would get some saliva from a rabid dog,

and then he would use that for his experiments. But unlike everyone else who kind of used kind of gloves and, I don't know, hell, it's all of glasses or whatever people use, he just went straight in there and just went up to the round of. rabid dog and just got the saliva out of there, right? Which is pretty brave, considering that if you got bitten, the protocol was to be shot immediately. If you got bit, you just got shot. That's fierce protocol.

That is hardcore. I read that he sucked the saliva from the mouth of a rabid dog, which was sort of secured on a lab table. And he's supposedly using a pipette held in his mouth, which seems needlessly... It seems needlessly bravadoish. It kind of feels like he's the bare grills of his day doing unnecessary feats of apparent courage. I have a fact about airdrops. Okay.

And animal airdrops. So, wasps pick up ants when they're competing over food and drop them away from the food. This is true. Researchers observed this in the world and then they tested it on a real, situation. So they put out some tuna. They let some ants go and start eating the tuna

and then they release some wasps. And sometimes the ants will attack the wasp. And even though they're much smaller, they can spray formic acid and stuff. And so sometimes the wasps just pick up the ants, fly them away from the tuna, drop them and then go back to the tuna. Imagine if you're flying around

and just dropping ants anywhere you want to. You'd feel like king of the world. I regret sharing my fantasy with you. It's possible that the ants could enjoy that, though, right? It's like my meal was interrupted, but it was fun paragliding. Yeah, ants are actually small enough. There's a certain size of animal. The once you get small enough, you probably wouldn't die

because your maximum velocity you can reach is not high enough to squish you. I think even mice you can drop from a really high height and they're not heavy enough to hurt them properly. Okay. Horses, on the other hand. I have a chicken fact If we could go to chickens

Pond Square in Highgate In London Is haunted by a half-frozen chicken Oh, I know whose chicken that is Yeah, this is a bit Okay, so So for a very long time There's been a half-frozen chicken

That's been haunting this pond And everyone has been sort of going, Oh, there's a half-frozen chicken And it turns out that the half-frozen chicken belonged to a man called Francis Bacon who, if you remember, died when he was experimenting on... Hang on, which bit don't you believe when you're shaking your head? First of all, he supposedly died of a chill

after stuffing a chicken with snow, didn't he? But I don't think that's true, first of all. And then the rest of it, obviously, I don't think that's true either. Why would the chicken horn highgate, though? Francis Bacon might haunt highgate, but the chicken was already dead, I think. I know it's a really odd situation. So chicken heads can help pro athletes, actually.

And this is real. There's a guy called... Ouch. Wow. It's a terrible burn on everything we've heard so far. No, chicken heads can help pro athletes. There's a guy called Hans Wilhelm Mullah Wolfthart. He was the doctor from Bayern Munich until quite recently when he got fired.

but he used to inject an extract of chicken heads into the kind of tendons of athletes to help them and there's a little bit of evidence that it might work he treated Mike Lowen, Stephen Gerard, Usain Bolt, Paula Radcliffe, Bono The five great athletes of our time But he got fired quite recently And he is quite controversial

He once prescribed goat's blood injections into a striker from a football team. But because he's called Hans, he's known as Healing Hands. Yeah, but he is quite famous, actually. Do you guys know about chucking? No. Okay, I'm glad. Apparently, this is a social media phenomenon

where you chook, and it's kind of like planking, but instead of lying flat and impersonating a plank in front of the camera, you pretend to be a frozen chicken carcass in public. Do you have to haunt Highgate? You can actually do it anywhere. So all you have to do is take all of your clothes off and then crouch down

and then have a photo taken of yourself and then a naked person crouched down in a fetal position sort of on their knees. Looks like a chicken, a chicken carcass. How does someone sat their naked look like a chicken any more than a centurion? Good point. No, so, okay, so if you were just very quickly, if you were going sort of profile and you were leaning on your knees, and you were leaning over, a human in that position looks remarkably like a frozen chicken.

So many mistakes on Christmas Day. Embarrassing. This fact has the element of talking about these were dropped from helicopters. I started looking into helicopters slightly. Do you know that the world's biggest helicopter can carry it's big enough that it can carry a plane? Wow.

No way. Do you know when the earliest helicopter was? No. Da Vinci supposedly had one, did he? He drew one. He designed one, yes. But it wasn't as early as the helicopter that was invented in 400 BC by the Chinese. Which, because officially, so this was, it was called the bamboo copter, apparently, which stresses me out.

I think I might have mentioned on the podcast before that one of my favorite etymologies is helicopter because the etymology is so unusually split up. So it's Helicose, which is a spiral, and a potere, which you wouldn't expect to be a word on its own, which is like the wing. So by saying bamboo copter, they've stomped right in the middle of that word helicose. You should never say anything copter, should you? It should be either Pter or helico. Exactly.

Yeah. I feel your pain, Anna. Yeah, I've written a strongly worded letter to ancient Chinese emperors. You know, a very popular escape from prisoners via helicopter. I mean, popular. Defined popular. It seems to be, so people actually do it more often.

then you would think France holds the record for most prison escapes via helicopter. And that's 11. Actually, not as much as I was, as I was saying earlier. God, I mean, it's epidemic proportions. But there's a guy with the world record for most helicopter escapes from prison, which is three. He escaped in 2001, 2003, 2007. And at no point did someone go, we should watch out for this guy every time he goes into the yard.

I say let's put a roof on David's cell. I say we shouldn't. Okay. Time for our final fact, and that is Andrew Hunter-Murray. My fact is that in 2015, a 10-year study concluded that punching glass is very dangerous. Wasn't the only thing they found out, but it was pretty much the headline. There was a study by a group of Australian doctors, and they concluded in about July this year. They measured everyone who came into a particular hospital from 2003 to 2012, collected lots of data,

and they said that it is really, really dangerous to punch glass. And they found out other things. They found out that the typical patient who punches glass is a 26-year-old single male who is unemployed and intoxicated. Of the 137 people that they found who punched glass, 113 were men, 122 were single, 95 were unemployed, and 91 were. drunk. Wow. And they have one conclusion

as well, which is how to deal with this thing. Preventing young intoxicated males from aiming punches at glass is a difficult task. And perhaps the only rational method, although costly, is to replace all glass within arms reach with safety glass. No more glass for you. That's amazing. I think it might be cheaper to replace all drunk men with sober. This was in Australia, but there was another study in Sunderland. And there were only 67 patients in this one, but he was in Sunderland.

England's Australia. Well, they found that all of the people had consumed alcohol. But it's, so it's dangerous. Why is it dangerous? Well, Anna. Because you can message. your hand up real bad. I mean, like the glass breaks and then a glass gets into your cuts. I just wondered if there are any more

complex conclusions in that your hands. So it was just that people got injured a lot. Yeah. But people say that because I put my hand through a window once, but I wasn't even drunk. You weren't drunk in 26 a male at the time. I sure wasn't any of those things. But I remembered

the fact that, I was about 15, and I remembered that people had said that the time people most get injured is when they retract their arm, when they've broken glass, because that's when it like slices up against you. And so I held my hand suspended out with the window and I was in my family home and I was like, Daddy, what do I do now?

But I think that is true. Well, I held my arm there through the hole in the glass until my dad came upstairs and went and you can't pull your hand out of the glass now. Right. Yeah, and it was absolutely fine. It was amazing that you would have that presence of mind to think, I remember reading a paper about this guy. And thus was a QI of Researcher, Born.

I was researching great bits of glass, just to see... Just to see what was considered to be... And thus was a great QI research, not gone. Yeah, so I was looking into great bits of glass, and then I came across a whole sort of, did you mean great bits of glass to stand on? And so I started reading into great bits of glass to stand on.

Now, one of the best bits of glass to stand on, and it's not a type of glass, but it's an achievement if you ever get to stand on this, there's actually at the bottom of the international space station. So I know in a gravityless place, there can't really be a bottom, but it's the bit that's facing Earth. They actually have a glass floor that you can stand on.

So, yeah, so you push yourself up to it, and there's photos of astronauts looking down so they can see all of Earth below their feet, which is really nice. I'd not heard that before as an international space station. And it reminded me that in the Grand Canyon, you can actually go on a thing called the Skywalk now, which is really amazing.

So it's this incredible bit that hangs over the Grand Canyon. It's a complete glass and you just look down as you're looking over. When they opened it, they wanted some spectacular people to walk on it.

And they found, they asked Buzz Aldrin, would you be one of the two first people to do it? And there was another astronaut a guy who's the only Native American astronaut, part Native American astronaut. Don't tell me that Buzz was the second person.

They were meant to meet up at the middle and Buzz stopped to do a salute and the guy got there first. So he's the second. Once again, the second man to make it to something. On punching. Yeah. So, recent research has just been done into the human fist.

And there is a suggestion, and one scientist strongly believes, on the basis of this research, that the human fist was evolved for punching. So we think that humans are superior to, you know, all other beings, because we evolve with our dexterous hands for writing or for whatever. we actually evolved to beat each other up and it turns out we're much more well adapted our fist, the fact that our fingers fit so well into the palm of our hands

that really is ideal for punch-ups So the idea is that an opposable thumb you could use to grab something but you can also use it to kind of buttress your fist to kind of properly hit someone right? Hold it down and nature's being defensive as well as aggressive because apparently males have evolved

to be punched. Before you go any further. I have not. Your face says otherwise. Whoa. Some woes over here, but some applause over there. Do you know that the world record most punches, quickest punches. This is ridiculous, by the way, but the most punches in 15 seconds is 200.

No way. Isn't that amazing? It's a guy called Bhaskar Joshi. He's a martial arts expert from India, and he managed to do two. Two hundred and fifteen seconds. What was he hitting? I think he was hitting like... 200 guys.

Yeah, he was hitting a punch bag, I think. Do you know there's a robot that they've trained to punch humans? Why? Why would you do that? We've all seen Terminator 2. We know the risks. This is a Fraunhofer IFF Institute in Germany. And they've invented a robot that punches me. people. And the idea is that you can test how hard it has to hit a human before it hurts.

Wow. These guys are idiots. And they're going to be the first against the wall when the robot turns. They have like an ultrasound scanner that can tell whether you're bruising or not before you actually bruise. And the idea, according to them, is that it's going to stop in the future from humans being injured by robots. What? We're prepping for robot warfare. That's amazing. You know they also, when you donate your body to science, and you can read up now on how many different ways they sort of take you apart and use different bits for different things. One of the things is that they'll take your arm now

and just have it punching a punching bag constantly to see why we punch. Wow, that's amazing. There's another one where you can become like a crash test dummy, can't you? Because a normal crash test dummy is quite hard to get a real... You can't make it really like a human, but if you put a human in there and then see how they react. to being in a crash, then that really, really does help science.

I think that's so cool. It's like the most, if you've never done anything badass in your actual life, I think saying, writing on your donor card at the bottom, please, preference for crash test dummy, is the way to go. I would like my head to be thrown out of a helicopter. Okay, that's it.

That's all of our facts. Thank you so much for listening. You would like to get in contact with any of us about the things we've said over the course of this podcast, we could be found on our Twitter accounts. I'm on at Shreiberland, James. At Eggshaped. Andy.

At Andrew Hunter M. Jizinski. You can email podcast at QI.com. Yeah, or you can go to no such thing asafish.com. That's our website where we have all of our previous episodes, and we will be back again next week. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for being here, guys.

Goodbye.