No Such Thing As A Fish - No Such Thing As A Herd Of Koalas

Episode Date: March 11, 2016

Live from Dave's Leicester Comedy Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss meteorwrongs, avian arsonists and the Norman Conquest of America. ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:02 Welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a weekly podcast. This week coming to you live from Dave's Lester Comedy Festival. My name is Dan Shriver, and please welcome to the stage. It's Anna Chisinski, James Harkin, and Andy Murray. Once again, we have gathered around the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last seven days, and in no particular order, here we go. Starting with my fact, my fact this week is that when something thought to be a meteorite actually turns out to be an ordinary rock,
Starting point is 00:00:50 it's called a meteor wrong. How cool is that? So we were sent that fact in by someone called Molly Christie. She listens to the show. She sent it in. I was looking into it. It's not obviously an official scientific terminology, but if you look into,
Starting point is 00:01:07 I've read AMAs on Reddit with meteorite experts, they all call it the meteorine. Yeah, it is quite a common thing. I went to the Natural History Museum a few years ago, and there's a kind of a department there that if you have any weird stuff that you find in your garden or whatever and you're not sure what it is, you can send it to them. They do call them meteorongs and they think that actually
Starting point is 00:01:24 when people think they find meteorites, it's almost always a meteor rung. It's very rare that you actually do find a real one. So the Natural History Museum has a room of meteorongs which are basically just rocks. Yeah. Pretty much found in their gardens. Yeah, there was a guy who was saying that,
Starting point is 00:01:41 so he's at a university of Minnesota in America and he's called Calvin Alexander. professor and he's been asking people for I think 30 years to come to him if they've found a meteorite. They think they found a meteorite and he says he's seen thousands, more than 5,000 meteor wrongs. He's retiring next year. Never yet has someone brought him something that's turned out to be a meter right until this year. A couple found out of a thing in their garden that they'd actually found a couple of years ago and they said actually this looks a bit weird. Brought it in, there you go. It was his first ever meteorite a year before his retirement. That's really cool.
Starting point is 00:02:16 We should say what a meteorite is, because I wasn't sure. So a meteoroid is a chunk of rock flying through space. And then if it enters the Earth's atmosphere, it's a meteor. But then if a bit lands, then that becomes a meteorite. Oh. Yeah. So it can be three different things, depending on where it is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:32 And we get about 44 tons of meteorites falling on the planet every day. So you'd think there would be more. We do. There's a ridiculous number. I think it's four billion a year land on Earth. They're mostly, I think, really, really small. But it's a lot. Do you know how you can tell if you're out in the wild looking at rocks trying to find meteorites if it is one?
Starting point is 00:02:51 No. So they're magnetic. Okay. Yeah. So if you have a little magnet with you, a little fridge magnet or something, if there's a magnetic pull against it, that doesn't, it still might just be a rock. It could be like a radiator or something. There's lots of things. But that's the thing, there's a lot of, there are a lot of rocks that are just normal terrestrial rocks that are also magnetic.
Starting point is 00:03:13 So don't just go around with a magnet trying to find one. So it was because I got really excited when they said, yeah, if it's magnetic, then it's definitely a meteorite, except for the fact that a lot of rocks are magnetic. So it may just turn out to be a rock. However, if it's not magnetic, it could be a rock from Mars or from the moon, which is even rarer. However, it could also just be a rock. It doesn't sound like they've cracked the perfect method. I once wrote to a meteorite expert a few years ago and asked him what you should do if one lands,
Starting point is 00:03:41 because there's a common misconception the meteorites are hot when they land but they're not because they've just gone through space which is really cold and then they have gone through the atmosphere so warmed up a bit but they should have had plenty of time to cool down so you could actually conceivably get a frostbite from touching a meteorite
Starting point is 00:03:57 that they're that cold on the inside but when I wrote to this guy and said what should you actually do he said whatever you do don't touch it you want to get kind of a plastic bag and then put it down because just you touching it could contaminate it and mean it's not very good for science so don't touch those meteorites I met an explorer over Skype called Charles Brewer Corrius,
Starting point is 00:04:17 amazing character, quite controversial character. The explorer in Up was said to be based on him. You know, in the Pixar movie Up, the guy living in the Venezuelan Mountains said to be based on him. He's famous for a number of things, a lot of discoveries, including he told me that he discovered what he thinks is the Lost City of Gold, and he did it while he was having a poo in the woods. And he said to me, I looked in between my legs and saw something spectacular.
Starting point is 00:04:41 These Skype dates of yours, but he also told me that he's discovered this glowing coral, glowing coral, which is the oldest life form on this planet. And he said that it arrived via space, meteorites, and so it's now living on Earth, an extraterrestrial. Is this, how trustworthy is this guy?
Starting point is 00:05:02 Is he friends with your Yeti-hunting friends and your ghost-seeking friends? I don't know, he said, he was like a biologist came in and said that this is definitely the oldest form of life, and actually it feels like it's from out of space. And then I emailed the biologist, and she said there's about as much exobiology in it as there is in my foot.
Starting point is 00:05:18 So he must have heard it wrong kind of thing. But potentially in the hills of Venezuela. Or he thought that she had an amazing foot full of aliens. I don't think of it. Do you know the Cambodian thing you shout when a meteorite arrives is Star Pooh is what you say. Archipay. That's what happened when one landed in Cambodia in 2014.
Starting point is 00:05:39 Is that what they call them? Well, loads of the people shouted, the local Khmer people shouted Star Pooh. So I don't know if it's an official scientific name. I'm like a meteor. Yeah. Wow. There was a, the R&LI launched a really big search and rescue operation last year, I think, because of a meteor flying through the sky and they thought it was a distress flare being sent out by a ship.
Starting point is 00:06:00 There was an emergency operation. This is off the Cumbrian coast, I think. And I think, you know, it takes quite a lot of money. And they went out there and then gradually reports started coming through from the rest of the country saying there's this flare. going across the sky everywhere. And it turned out, yep, no one's dying, which is actually good news. In a way.
Starting point is 00:06:18 Yeah. In the late 18th century in France, they didn't think that the Academy Francaid didn't think that meteorites could possibly exist. Supposedly what they said was there are no rocks in the sky, therefore rocks cannot fall from the sky. And they decided...
Starting point is 00:06:33 That logic is actually infallible. Yeah, it's true. But that's apparently what they said. And apparently it meant that they didn't... do any kind of studies on possible meteorites because if someone said they found one and saw one land, they were like, well, duh, obviously not real. But then in 1803, more than 2,000 meteorites fell in a single village in Normandy. So they had to kind of change their mind a little bit. Wow. Wow. Apparently that's a story. I don't know if it's true. It's very cool.
Starting point is 00:07:02 There was a meteorite fell through the roof of a house owned by the Comet family recently. I think I think it was two years ago. That's nice, isn't it? Comment. I think they're French. You didn't read anything more on that story, did you? No, why would I? It's only going to get worse from there.
Starting point is 00:07:22 We need to move on quite soon to our next fact. Okay, can I do just a quick thing, a new story that I read? A Bosnian man had his house hit five times by meteorites in less than six months a few years ago. Experts at the local university were like, well, maybe there's like a magnetic anomaly or something like that, but he thought that, he said, I am obviously being targeted by extraterrestrials. I don't know what I have done to annoy them, but there is no other explanation that makes sense. The chance of being hit by a meteorite is so small that getting hit five times has to be deliberate. Okay, let's move on to our second fact of the show, and that is Andy Murray.
Starting point is 00:08:06 My fact this week is that brown falcons commit arson. So these Australian birds, they're kind of falcon, and there are two species, brown falcons and black kites, and they've been observed picking up, when there are wildfires, they've been observed picking up smouldering bits of branch and twig and carrying them to new locations and starting fires in new areas,
Starting point is 00:08:28 which then makes all the little creatures in the undergrowth run out so that they can kill them and eat them. Wow. So this is deliberate fire starting. as a way of getting food. And it's all, so far, it's not been observed, it's not been filmed, and it's anecdotal evidence from park rangers,
Starting point is 00:08:45 Aboriginal Australians, and Australian firemen. Yeah, so it could be made up, couldn't it? I don't think it's made up, but I think it needs to be observed properly. Okay. It seems likely, though. It does make sense,
Starting point is 00:08:56 because they rely on fires for their food very often, don't they, those types of birds, so it makes sense. Yeah, it reminds me of a thing, we did a radio show with a guy called Rupert, Shell Drake, a few years ago, And he said that people anecdotally have said that when sheep want to get across a cattle grid, they kind of roll over on the cattle grid to get from one side to the other.
Starting point is 00:09:16 And he said, loads of people have seen this happening. Yeah. But actually, we think probably it never happened. It might be just a story. What they noticed was someone started reporting it in one bit of Australia, and then a few days later, sheep across the country started doing it as if there was some kind of secret sheep whispering network that managed to spread. But it's, yeah, so it sounds like it's in the shell-drakey area slightly, I guess.
Starting point is 00:09:38 But actually, these people who have been talking about it are, you know, like you say, they're park rangers and, you know, people who kind of would know that kind of thing, aren't it? So it would be very, very good to know if it does happen. And so there's more research being done, basically, and more observation being done. One of the co-authors of it, Mark Bonta, has suggested that humans might have learned about spreading fires from birds, which seems less likely. but apparently yeah because they have to carry them quite small distances while they're still smouldering obviously because if you fly you know far
Starting point is 00:10:11 then it'll go out I mean if we learn about carrying a fire from birds we overtook them so fast they're still there occasionally picking up a burning ember we've got bonfire night does happen that so in 2014 a pigeon in Stockwell
Starting point is 00:10:28 did start a fire by dropping a cigarette in its nest so oh I did it on purpose or Well, we don't know. I've read about this new Kickstarter that's been fully funded where you can now, if you're out in camping or whatever, it's this little kit where you light a fire and it heats up this pad that creates battery charge for your iPhone.
Starting point is 00:10:49 So you've got an external iPhone charger now, or smartphone charger, which plugs in to a fire source to give it. Wow. Isn't that really cool? That is smart. That is very cool. Yeah. Speaking of humans making fire, actually,
Starting point is 00:11:00 some human is still can't make fire. Or until the 20th century, there are tribes that still hadn't learned how to make fire. So there are the, for instance, F.A. and Mbuti pygmies, that I think pygmy tribes that are in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. We think they could make fire thousands of years ago. There's some evidence for that. But it seems like they forgot, and now it's part of tribal tradition, that you have to carry around a burning ember with you all the time. So you get fire from, like, if there's a lightning storm in the forest, then a tree sets on fire. and you pick up that
Starting point is 00:11:34 and it's the women's job in these tribes to carry around this burning ember and they have to wrap it up in a damp leaves when they move from one campsite to the next so that they keep this fire because if the fire goes out it's like we've got no fire. Just waiting for the next thunderstorm.
Starting point is 00:11:47 Waiting for the next storm, yeah. Isn't that weird? Yeah. Yeah. And then I think some anthropologist turned up about 20 years ago and said, guys. I was reading about some other unusual birds, cool birds. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:58 So baby grey cat birds. They get their name because they make a noise like a cat. They kind of do a little meow, which sounds great, but it's not really great for them because it just attracts cats. That is a massive evolutionary design. In 2011, they did a study,
Starting point is 00:12:19 and they found that domestic cats were responsible for nearly half of old deaths of these birds. Oh, my God. Here's another one. There's a hummingbird called Anna's hummingbird. Oh, yeah, he's at home now. Didn't want to come tonight. Anna's hummingbird can shake their bodies 55 times per second,
Starting point is 00:12:38 which is the fastest shake of any vertebrate known. Just back to the sounds, I was reading about a bird that's called the Fort Tail Drongo. And this bird has the ability to mimic other animals and other birds. And what it does is it lets out. It's learned the call of there's danger nearby. So basically it's so that they can steal food off other animals. So they'll be like,
Starting point is 00:13:01 danger's coming and then they'll say it like a cat or like a I don't know like a hamster or something and the hamster will go. Like a human. Could they say dangers coming in human language? I don't think they've mastered human. Yeah. And so they, so these things run off and then they get the food.
Starting point is 00:13:14 But they've learned to both lie and not lie when there is actual danger. So they've kept animals on their toes when they hear it and go, oh, it's probably that dickhead bird. They can actually then get eaten because it wasn't telling. Oh, smart. It's cry wolf. Yes. But sometimes there is a wolf.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Yeah. You obviously never read to the end of the story of crime. I got the gist of it. The same thing just kept happening. I was like, this is boring now. Cuckoos, so I was looking at birds committing crimes. These birds commit arson. Cuckoos are obviously very famous criminal birds. You know, put their eggs in other birds' nests
Starting point is 00:13:52 and disguise them as other bird's eggs, and then the egg hatches, and it tips all the real eggs out of the nest, and that's that. So they're murderers and kind of house thieves. but other birds are getting really wise to it. So they've, cuckoos have evolved to make their eggs mimic the eggs of whatever bird whose nest they want to steal.
Starting point is 00:14:10 So the eggs look identical to our humanize to the bird who's nest they want to steal's eggs. But birds, other birds have now developed, evolved really super sensitive infrared-type vision so they can see really subtle differences in cuckoo's eggs that completely distinguish them from their own eggs. So they're getting the better of them gradually. That's very cool. It's quite, isn't it? But then the cuckus will probably evolve again to beat that. It's a race. Why can't they evolve to build their own nests one day?
Starting point is 00:14:41 Actually, I think of all the cuckoo species, I think most of them don't do that parasitic thing. The ones in Europe do, but around the world, I think most of them don't. Yeah, that's true. Last month, an Israeli vulture was arrested in Lebanon for spying. So it happened. And was it charged? I don't think so. I think it was eventually released.
Starting point is 00:15:04 So what kind of interrogation happened that they were? No, you didn't do it, did you? It had a location transmitter and an Israeli identification tag on it. So I suppose the thinking was that Israeli spies would have written this is a spy on a bird. Yeah. In 1471, a chicken in Basel was found guilty of laying a brightly colored egg. which was thought to be in defiance of natural law. What was the penalty?
Starting point is 00:15:33 Unfortunately, it wasn't let free like the Israeli one. It was burned to death at the steak. Ah. A delicious, delicious steak. And so Nando's was born. I found a bird that I'd never heard of before. It's a Tibetan blackbird. This is its name, tortoise maximus.
Starting point is 00:15:55 It's an actual bird. All corbored birds are the tortoise. Genus, aren't they? Thrushes are all turdice. So they're turdice, tortoise, I think. They're turdust, tortoise. So Corvids are crows and ravens and ravens. Corvids aren't the best.
Starting point is 00:16:08 They're crows, ravens, magpies, all birds like that. And they're so intelligent. So this fact is kind of about birds of prey learning how to use tools in a way. And Corvids are amazing at using tools. So there was one experiment where a crow was, it was given a piece of wire and it managed to bend this piece of wire into a hook using a glass kind of beaker that was nearby. So it pushed the glass beaker against a wall
Starting point is 00:16:33 so that it bent this bit of wire into a hook in order that it could hook a stick that was slightly out of its reach and it hooked the stick towards it and then it took the long stick with which it was able to get the food that it wanted to get. Wow. That's impressive, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:16:45 That's really impressive. I don't know why I couldn't just fly over and pick up the food, but it was challenging itself. We're going to have to move on really shortly. So anything else before we do? Coalas to escape forest fires. their instinctive reaction is to crawl up a tree. So they often have to get rescued by Australian firefighters.
Starting point is 00:17:05 Badly evolved. Yeah. But they presumably move really slowly, so that's their best bet, I'm guessing. I would never picture like a herd of koala coming out as the fire was approaching them. Yeah. All right, let's move on to our third fact of the evening, and that is Chisinski.
Starting point is 00:17:22 Yeah, my fact is that in 1461, the mayor of Hyenne in Spain donated 10,000 eggs to his citizens so they could have a huge food fight. Very kind. It's nice of him. He's a good guy. This is a guy called Constable Don Miguel Lucas de Aranzo, and he decided for Easter, Easter celebration,
Starting point is 00:17:42 give his people this big food fight, and he built this huge fake wooden castle that he wheeled into the city centre, and I think he then hold himself up in his house with some of his guards, and he was like, to the townspeople, said, you get in this castle. pelt each other with X for a while. And they did it.
Starting point is 00:17:58 And then they did it again on May Day because they enjoyed it so much. Wow. And for a few subsequent years. It does kind of feel like a thing that should have carried on forever, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. It does sound like the most fun thing ever.
Starting point is 00:18:07 What must have happened to stop it? I feel like he, because it always seems to be him throughout 1460, so maybe when he left office, he sounds like maybe the Boris Johnson of the 15th century. He probably had some dodgy policies but did a lot of fun stuff on the side
Starting point is 00:18:21 that won the people round. I read that in one of the other fights that he had that there was such a surplus of food that people then started hitting each other with chickens. They? No. Yeah. Why do you hit someone with a chicken?
Starting point is 00:18:33 It's just an older egg, isn't it? Waiter, I think this egg is off. Sir, you come in to Dando's every day and say that. There were boiled eggs, I think, which sounds a bit less fun. Oh, are they? Yeah. I've read mixed with, there's a lot of controversy over the type of eggs.
Starting point is 00:18:52 Oh, really? I think, yeah, some sort of eggs. as they say boiled, some say just raw, but it's so hard to tell from the outside, isn't it? Yeah. Actually, there is a game called Egg Roulette, which, so I think this is part of the Lincolnshire World Egg Throwing Championships, which are a massive deal.
Starting point is 00:19:10 We probably all try to get tickets at some point. And they have stuff like the World Egg Trebouchet and Egg Throwing, obviously. And then one of the contests is Egg Roulette, which involves you sit at a table with one other person and you've got a whole bunch of eggs laid out in front of you, And they're all boiled except one, and you take it in terms to select one and smash it against your forehead.
Starting point is 00:19:29 And then you get covered in raw egg when you pick the wrong one. It's not as dangerous as Russian roulette. But you're still covered in sort of boiled egg. And it's not a good result. It's not ideal. The egg throwing itself, it's quite good. It's what happens is you're 10 metres away from your friend, you chuck him the egg or she,
Starting point is 00:19:50 and they have to catch it and not break it. and then everyone does that and everyone who does it right and it doesn't break then they go to 20 metres and then 30 metres and then 40 metres so it's quite a cool game that is now I reckon we should have no later on Are there rules that you have to throw it
Starting point is 00:20:04 fairly towards them because you could throw it off a bit and then they find it very difficult You're in a team Yeah you want them to catch it This is why your team keeps losing I'm going to get that guy this time Are you allowed to use an apron to catch it?
Starting point is 00:20:20 An apron, I think with your hands it has to be And they also have very strict drug rules as well according to their website. No, they say that like any sport, you're not allowed any performance enhancing drugs. But they do say that the local happy jack real ale is not only permitted but recommended. I was reading about being egged, the phenomenon of being egged. Okay. Being egged. Fun thing to say.
Starting point is 00:20:49 There was a 2006 study which was called, here's egg in your eye, a prospective study of blunt ocular trauma resulting from thrown eggs. This was a real study. And it just concluded, don't do it. I mean, have people been ocularly traumatized frequently? Yes. Really?
Starting point is 00:21:06 Not frequently, no. But it does happen very seldom. That was Yanukovych. Do you remember the president of the Ukraine? Got struck with a brick, was rushed to hospital because he'd been struck with a brick and it transpired when people looked back. I think they look back over the footage and it had just been an egg.
Starting point is 00:21:25 So it is apparently more dangerous and hard-hitting than they look. Yeah. Wow. Wow. So he didn't look at the debris around him. He just assumed it was a brick. I think I guess he had serious ocular damage and could no longer see his surrounding. You know, in Greece, you don't get egged.
Starting point is 00:21:40 You get yoghurted. Do you? It's called yaur-turma. Don't write in. Yeah, like yogurt, yaratoma. And it's a specific kind of yogurt that they use, which is sheep's milk yogurt. That's really good for Yeo-Turama-Ing people
Starting point is 00:21:55 because you're sort of reminding people that they're Greek and that they've shamed Greekness. Oh, hence, your Greek yogurt? Greek yogurt at them. So when you say it's a special kind, do you go into a shop and say, do you have any yogurt? And they say, is this for eating or for assaulting a politician? They're in the top left corner.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Oh, there was quite a vicious food fight in 1818 in Harvard. apparently. This was an era of quite a lot of student protest in America, I think. And yeah, this food fight started when someone threw a slice of buttered bread and it ended up going mad for days. And all the Crocker, all Hubbard's crockery was smashed. Lots of plates and chairs were thrown at each other. Lots of furniture broken. There was, a lot of students were suspended, unsurprisingly. And then all the other students who hadn't been suspended went and protested. One of them was Emerson. Ralph Alder Emerson was there at the time and he protested and went, stood under a tree. and they sort of mobbed all the tutors and said, how dare you suspend students for breaking all the furniture in this place
Starting point is 00:22:56 and smashing all the crockery? And yet, apparently this was quite a common occurrence. So they let them all back in because they were upset. Wow. All right. Hey, let's move on to our final fact of the show, and that is James Harkin. Okay, my fact this week is that in 1951,
Starting point is 00:23:11 Australia's football team played against England and lost 17-0. The goalkeeper was called Norman Conquest. What a great name, Norman Conquest. I love it. And he is quite a famous goalkeeper. He's in the Australian Hall of Fame. But he's most famous for being in this one game where they got absolutely annihilated by England.
Starting point is 00:23:34 What happened in the game? Well, 17-0, but how did he... There was a report written by a guy called Tugger Bryant. It was another former footballer. And he said that Australia could not handle the mud. It was a really, really muddy pitch. Australia could not handle the mud, whereas England reveled in it.
Starting point is 00:23:51 and rang rings around the Australians. Our players spent more time on their backs in the mud than on their feet. The only time they were on their feet was when the band played God Save the Queen. So, yeah, the English team could kind of deal with their heavy conditions, but the Australians just weren't used to it. I looked up more excellent footballer names from history. So Redding in the 70s had a goalkeeper called Steve Death. And just outside the goalie arena, there's a Zimbabwean defender,
Starting point is 00:24:23 I'm sure you'll have heard of him, James, called Danger Fourpence. Just great. There's a Ghanaian chap called Norty Norty. It's amazing. There he is. There he is. There he is. He's a friend of Credence Clearwater Coutherr.
Starting point is 00:24:41 Yeah, he's quite famous. He's called. Everyone calls him Paul Easter, I think. Do they? Yeah. But Australia now obviously quite a decent team. And they did well. Such a good team now.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Because that was brought up in Australia, were you? So you're a fan of the soccer ruse. Yeah, yeah. And we watched the games in the last World Cup in the QI office. When they lost 17-0, it was a record defeat, I think, of any team in an international game. But now Australia holds the record win when they beat American Samoa 31-0 in 2001. But what happened there was the American Samoa team all had passport issues. And so all but one of the players were in Illinois.
Starting point is 00:25:18 to play because they couldn't get out of the country. They couldn't call up any of their under 20 team because they were all doing exams at the time. And so they had to just draft in all these really, really young or inexperienced players, including 3 15-year-olds. And at the end of the game, the stadium showed that the score was 32-0 because everyone had lost count about the goals. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:25:43 There's always a little caveat for any international glory for Australian sport. It's so annoying. Do you remember the Olympics? There was that speed racer guy on, so. So he was a speed skater, right? Yeah, speed skater, and he was coming last in the heats. And I think he'd made it through the heats and he was in the semis.
Starting point is 00:26:02 And as they came around the corner on the last bit, he was way in behind, someone tripped in front, took out everyone. He was so far back that he could dodge right around. Came first, made it to the finals. So everyone was going, there was no way this guy should ever be here. But here he is now. Finals gets around to the same corner. He's way behind. Same thing happens.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Everyone comes down. He took over it and just waltzed in to gold. First ever gold that we've got. And he got it because both times. And he now goes around the country of Australia doing motivational talks. To school kids and stuff. And his talks are basically, oh, you never know.
Starting point is 00:26:39 Someone might cock up. He's always like the 10th person, the ass. But the other nine get hit by him. I was reading a bit about goalkeeping tactics over the years Because this is about goalkeeper So John Burrage was a goalkeeper And he kept his reflexes nice and sharp Between the 60s and the 90s was his career
Starting point is 00:27:02 By asking his wife to throw fruit at him When he wasn't looking That's amazing There was a guy called Harry Rennie who was a Scottish goalie And in the 1890s his trial training regime was to throw himself onto wooden boards for half an hour every day, just to toughen himself up. Yeah, because he'd have to be throwing himself on the floor. Exactly, yeah. Ah, okay. Wow. Half an hour. So the first mention of football that I could find, at least, in Australia,
Starting point is 00:27:30 is a letter to a newspaper complaining about football. And it's a guy, I'm going to read it out. Our town is increasingly going in the wrong direction. It will ultimately be no more than a Dutch-Lang street. My pipe is out. I must now halt. Till you hear from me again, Bog Trotter. I also love it. And another thing about Norman Conquest is on there's a website called How Many of Me.com, where you can see how many names there are of you. This is only in America, unfortunately.
Starting point is 00:28:01 But there are 28,278 Normans in America. What? Yeah. What? People called Norman. How many thousand? 288,000. Out of 150 million men, roughly.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Yeah, that's quite a lot of that, isn't it? There's 1,082 people with the last name Conquest, and there's one person in America called Norman Conquest. Really? Yeah. Oh, cool. So if you're listening, Norman. The name Norman is going out of fashion, I think.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Yeah, definitely. I think in 2005, there were only two babies called Norman born, and then I couldn't even find data for after that. So unless there's been a huge surge, then I think it might have disappeared entirely. I know. It's really sad, isn't it? It's really sad.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Can I quickly move the chat to names in Australia? I just started doing a Google on things that I both had been to in Australia just to see the origins of it. And I was looking at Mount Cusco, which there's a lot of, I'm actually not sure how to pronounce it properly, but it's the tallest mountain in Australia. And I've climbed it. It's so easy to climb. It's a tiny little bump. But we're very proud of it.
Starting point is 00:29:04 It's our tallest mountains. So the thing was, for years and years, it was called Mount Cossi Cusco, and it was this wonderful mountain. And basically, they discovered, and this was explained in a 19th. 2010 book, that they eventually started recalculating the sizes and heights of mountains and discovered that a mountain just near Mount Kosci Kusko called Mount Townsend was actually taller. So suddenly we had a new tallest mountain, and rather than changing all the books, they just decided, this is going to be a massive hassle, let's just swap the names of the mountains. They genuinely did that.
Starting point is 00:29:39 So Mount Kuzko is actually Mount Townsend. They were just too lazy to do any admin. That's such a good idea, though, isn't it? Yeah. You don't have to change any text books. You can just draw two arrows. So does it not have many big mountains, Australia? No, not really.
Starting point is 00:29:54 I think it's bigger than ours. How tall his mountain does he just go? It's 2,228 metres. Right, you know that's almost three times higher than England's highest mountain. So we go calling it a little bum. Just be careful. I think it's not, is there not a toll?
Starting point is 00:30:07 It's the biggest one in the mainland, isn't there? There might be one in the Australian islands, which is a bit. There are a bunch in the Australian islands. there's actually a bit on the Wikipedia page that says mountains higher than the highest mountain there's a huge list but they're not on the mainland about because of just we found another one we need to wrap up very soon
Starting point is 00:30:30 do you guys got anything before we do some funny names maybe always a high brown note to end on yeah exactly there's a website called name of the year dot com which is quite cool and there I don't think it's an official award or anything like that but they go around and look in all the newspapers and anyone who's kind of a notable person
Starting point is 00:30:47 and they take all the funniest names and they make them battle against each other like which of these is the best name and they go through to the next round and you have a winner. And the winner last year was a lady who hit the news after being arrested for shoplifting in Idaho called Amanda Miranda Panda. Wow.
Starting point is 00:31:08 We're sure she didn't just panic when the police are saying. Yeah. Some of the people that she beat, include Reverend Pierre Battista Pizza Baller who is the head of the custody of the Holy Land Priory and Dr. Wallop Prom Thong who is a professor at Rajamangala University and there's people in Britain
Starting point is 00:31:33 various names, this was a newspaper article I think it was in the mirror or somewhere people with funny names there's a just-in-case Barb Dwyer, Terry Bull and Doug Hall all people in the UK with those names And there's a retired ermine called Stand Still from Sire and Sester and he said it's been a blooming millstone round my neck my entire life.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Probably why I can't move. Okay, that's it. That's all of our facts. Thank you so much for listening. If you would like to get in contact with any of us about the things we've said over the course of this podcast, we can be found on our Twitter account. I'm on at Shreiberland, James, at Egg-shaped, Andy.
Starting point is 00:32:17 At Andrew Hunter.m. Chisinski. You can email a podcast. at QI.com. Yep. Or you can go to No Such Things of Fish.com. That's our website.
Starting point is 00:32:24 We've got all of our previous episodes up there. Thank you so much for listening at home. Thank you guys for listening here. That's the show. Good night.

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