No Such Thing As A Fish - No Such Thing As A Pilot Fish

Episode Date: March 8, 2014

A new podcast from the writers of QI, who discuss the best facts they've found that week. The pilot episode features Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland), James Harkin (@eggshaped), Anna Ptaszynski (@nosuch...thing) & Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) For more check out www.qi.com/podcast

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 We run it on QI a few years ago. Yeah. Which was, there's no such thing as a fish. You know, no such thing as a fish? No, seriously. It's in the Oxford Dictionary of Underwater Life. He says it right there. First paragraph, No Such Things a Fish.
Starting point is 00:00:17 And welcome to the pilot episode of No Such Thing as a Fish coming to you from the QI offices in Covent Garden. My name is Dan. I'm sitting with three other QI elves, James, Andy and Anna. and each week we're going to get around this microphone and share our favorite facts from the last seven days. So in no particular order, here are the best things we found out this week. Okay, let's start with fact number one.
Starting point is 00:00:53 That comes from you, James. I went this weekend to the Collider Exhibition, the Large Hadron Collider Exhibition at the Science Museum, which was pretty cool. I got fact there. The Large Hadron Collider was almost turned off. I think it was turned off for a short amount of time for what reason? What do you think?
Starting point is 00:01:13 Because this is the rewiring that needed to do. Maintance. Maintenance. Yeah. It is a lot more lo-fi than that. Apparently, they found a piece of baguette in the machinery, and it made the temperature go up by 7 degrees, and they had to turn the whole thing off before they found the baguette.
Starting point is 00:01:27 If you work with the French, this will happen. I always throw my baguette into the machine. They're actually a pest at certain. But what they actually think happened is that a bird somehow dropped it into an event or something like that and it was found there. But some of the physicists who were there at the time actually thought that maybe it was a time-traveling bird
Starting point is 00:01:49 sent from the future to the experiment. Which is pretty cool. That would be the worst Terminator sequel ever. Or when they first saw the baguette, they're like, whoa, the Higgs boson is way big. Found it! Got it. It's all bread-like.
Starting point is 00:02:07 That's why they turned it off. Job done. The Higgs baguette is Kevin in tuna mayonnaise. Surely someone's marketing a Higgs baguette now in parents. There was a guy who broke in to CERN. He broke in. His name was, how would you say this, Andy? Eloy.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Eloy. Eloire, Cole, strangely dressed man. He said that he traveled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world. So they've had a number of time traveling. Yeah, well, that was one theory that the reason we hadn't had time travelers yet was we hadn't invented the large Hadron Collider, which would presumably then be the machine that we'd get them back. As in you can't have time travelers until you build the machines. That's why we haven't had them in the past. Well, here's the final sentence of this story.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Mr. Cole, as his name was, was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva, but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered. Wait a second I should point out that Dad is on Davidaik dot com Because I just Google it And that's the first thing that came on But this is the talk boards
Starting point is 00:03:13 It looks like they've lifted this from They have from crave dot Okay I don't know if that's any more reputable But there was a bit of worry at the time That the whole universe was going to end Wasn't there? Yeah
Starting point is 00:03:25 They thought that Because what they were actually doing Was making very very very tiny black holes And I think in people's minds They thought well what if they get bigger? What if they get bigger? suck everything. But I think what had happened, I might be wrong about this because I'm going off memory a little bit, but I think the scientist said that there was a chance of the
Starting point is 00:03:44 world ending, but it was something like 10,000 billion, billion, billion to one chance, which is pretty much the chance of the world ending anyway in that kind of time. But I think they didn't help themselves by saying that. And so all people here is, what, the world's going to end? There was a big switch on day. Do you remember? It was, um, It was when the machine was first due to be switched on and the BBC went to wall-to-wall coverage of it. I had to write about it for private eyes. Everyone going crazy about it.
Starting point is 00:04:12 And when it didn't work for another nine months that couldn't switch. Oh, yeah, I remember that. There was some slight problem in the workings. There was a story in the news this week about the spaceship that had been... Oh, yeah, yeah, it's a lot like that. Is it called Atticus?
Starting point is 00:04:26 Can you check what's the... It's satellite that we sent up that's been asleep for three years and we sort of set an alarm on it to wake it up yesterday. Yeah, and so there was a big thing where they're all waiting. Yeah. You could stream
Starting point is 00:04:39 Mission Control in, was it Russia maybe, I'm not sure what country. Was America? You could watch it, what do you mean? You could watch Mission Control if they were waiting because it was going to be switched on and there was an hour window
Starting point is 00:04:51 where it didn't come on. So they were waiting and then tension started getting high and then... Yeah, so it was actually, it wasn't too long, but yeah, so there was 10 minutes where it was late,
Starting point is 00:05:01 waking up and it hadn't sent any signals back. And then they started to get increasingly tense. And if you watch the video, which I now have, they suddenly start to panic, and then it all goes really silent. And then it was actually 18 minutes late waking up because what they think happened is, somehow the satellite put its alarm on snows. And just postponed its wake-up call for 18 minutes.
Starting point is 00:05:21 And then, which is fair enough, you know? If you've been to sleep for three years, you can't be expected to just bounce out of bed. I think it was Rosetta, wasn't it? Rosetta, yeah. Rosetta, yes. That's incredible. A little bit of a triangle.
Starting point is 00:05:32 Has got an awesome solar system fact, haven't you? Yes. Okay. Now, this is... Now, Anna, you haven't heard this yet. No, I haven't. I'm prepared for your jaw to drop. This has raised some controversy in the office, but let's go for it.
Starting point is 00:05:46 Okay. In 2007, the largest object in the solar system was... What do you think, Anna? The sun. No. It was a comet called Comet Homes, which was... the comet itself, the main body of it, is three kilometres across, and it had this extraordinary explosion at the surface,
Starting point is 00:06:10 and the corona of dust, they call it the comet coma, is the name for it, was bigger than the sun. Wow. Get out of here. It was. It was 1.4 million kilometres across. I think that's right. And that all counted as part of the body of the comet.
Starting point is 00:06:26 Yeah, it was 1% of the title mass of the comet. It's a huge dust, because the sun is emptier than we think it is. I think that's fair to say. It depends on your definition of the sun, really, because there's an argument that the sun is actually the size of the solar system, because that's as far as the solar, as the solar... Like energy... As the light goes.
Starting point is 00:06:45 Exactly. Yeah, doesn't that count? The solar wind goes all the way out to there. There's still particles from the sun that are getting all the way out to Pluto and beyond. So there is an argument that we all live inside the sun at the moment. Yeah. Well, if that's true, then the comic thing is not. The sun is the size that everyone else says it is.
Starting point is 00:07:04 This comet was bigger, briefly. And no one knows the comic called me who says that. What's the comet called? Comet Holmes, as in show. Oh, conic. Yeah. Big boy. Big boy.
Starting point is 00:07:14 Big boy. They're scientists, Anna. They're not just doing this for the naming race. That's what you would have called in. That's what I would have called. There's actually a body. Alex told me to look this up because I can't remember what it's called, which is responsible for the official non-oncature of everything in the solar system.
Starting point is 00:07:28 And it has these, like, most specific. rules about where everything has to be called. It's called like the internet. It's a branch of NASA. So for instance, one of its rules is that Martian craters that measure less than 60 kilometers in diameter have to be named after villages of the world with a population smaller than 100,000 people. So they have to, so like tooting, there's a crater called tooting because... Is there? Yeah, there is. Yeah, there is. So pleasing. And the other one, and this is, I think it was a headline that James saw when he came around to my computer earlier is, there is to be no penis on Venus.
Starting point is 00:08:00 This is your excuse I saw there is no penis on Venus and now you're making up a story Anna was hopefully googling in case there was In case I've been through her There's nothing else to me Come on guys
Starting point is 00:08:19 Men are from Mars Women are from meet Venus And yet there's no like only male wall on Mars So you're not allowed to call anything on Venus After anything male So everything on Venus And you look like everything everything The craters, all the mountains.
Starting point is 00:08:32 Because that's bug? Venus is, I don't know. No, because Venus was female. Venus is female. Except this was only introduced in the early 70s, and before that, they had named the highest mountain. Malpetus. Which is called Maxwell Montes, named after a male physicist.
Starting point is 00:08:50 But so he's sitting there on Venus, the only guy, has mountains surrounded by thousands and thousands of women. And yet you can't do anything about it because he's a mountain. That's funny, isn't it? That is brilliant. That is amazing. El for the L-Series. El for the LES
Starting point is 00:09:04 Yeah. That is a hell of... Lads and Lasses. Yeah. Yeah. The only man on Venus. Cool. Okay, well let's wrap up because we've got to do.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Okay, before we go, I just gotta say, if anyone wants to see the Collider exhibition, it's pretty good. Go down to the Science Museum. On until 6th of May, it costs about a tenor to get in. I highly recommend. And what do you get to see, is it? It's just lots of facts about how it works, and there's lots of interactive stuff. Yeah, and do us a favour.
Starting point is 00:09:29 Bring a baguette. Leave it there. Take a photo of some baffled scientists trying to work out how we got in there. Okay, fact number two, Anna, this one's yours. Yeah, so for the last month of his life, US President James Garfield ate everything through his anus. Big claim, Anna.
Starting point is 00:09:51 We will get letters from a lot of people here. Yeah, I mean, I wasn't there, but this is what the doctors tell me. No, so James Garfield was, as everyone, obviously knows, shot in July 1881, and he lived for a further 80 days. He was shot in the small of his back and once in the arm, so doctors now say he would have been at out of hospital about two or three days later. But obviously, because medicine was not quite as advanced as it is now, in 1881, they just invited like dozens of doctors to his bedside who all prodded around trying to find this bullet. They didn't know where the bullet had gone in his body. So they gathered around, prodded about, made him worse and worse.
Starting point is 00:10:32 He stopped being able to eat. And obviously, if you stopped being able to consume food in those days, they just shoved it up your ass. And so that's what they did. So does that work? It does not work, no. It was widely discredited in the early 30s. I think you get about an eighth of the nutrition from some of the food.
Starting point is 00:10:49 But there's some food that you can't absorb at all. What I love is the list of foods that he was fed in this manner. Beef, bouillon, egg yolks. The milk. Egg yolks. Egg yolks. Wait, so. Come on, guys.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Egg yolks, it was only true for a while, because I was reading the doctor at the time, his report on it. So, yeah, he was fed egg yolks for a bit of time, and then all the surgeons complained that it was causing annoying and offensive fletus. And so they ceased feeding him an egg yolks. That did the trick, sadly. So they stopped it because it was annoying then. Not the other way.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Guys, I'd be quite happy to eat an egg with my mouth. That's alright by you guys That's the thing as well He wasn't shut his mouth He wasn't like Presumably his mouth still weren't time He could still even Could he still talk?
Starting point is 00:11:42 Yeah he could still talk The doctors were amazing The main doctor in Trageda Savingham was called Dr Dr Willard Bliss With two doctors His first name was doctor That's amazing
Starting point is 00:11:55 It's really tragic You should go on with the litter, because they did have been good things. That's all I know about what he was fed in that time. I think maybe that was the only food. They were already into grinding beef, but he was also given whiskey and drops of opium and... Whiskey up his ass. Yeah, because, I mean, if you're in that sort of a state, I think,
Starting point is 00:12:16 at least you want a few drams. Yeah. It's terrible. He was such a talented man that he could... His party trick was he could write Latin in one hand and Greek with the other simultaneously. He campaigned for the presidency in more than one language. Some places he campaigned in English, some places he spoke in German.
Starting point is 00:12:31 He was this immensely... No, I was going to take it to the matter. He was president for four months, and then he was shot, and then he lingered for another three months. So it's like, no matter what, like, you could write Greek with your left and Latin with your right. The fact you could eat through your anus will forever overshadow. It trumps it all. I actually looked up, because I thought, I knew Andy'd said earlier that you had a list of things that he ate. I thought it would be interesting to look up of what his favorite foods were.
Starting point is 00:13:03 So if I was there, I'd be like, I'm going to try and get you a, like a sneaky dish on the side, you know. So his favorite food was squirrel soup. What? Yeah. And actually, there was a guy called Crook, and he really wanted to cook squirrel soup for the president, but they needed him to be a bit better, I think to the point where he was eating again with his mouth. That kind of good. and they were given permission to shoot squirrels on the grounds of the soldiers' homes in order to get the squirrels in order to do it.
Starting point is 00:13:33 And he loved milk. Really loved milk. And there was a company called the Adams Express Company from Baltimore. And they actually sent a cow to the White House so they could milk it every day so that he could get fresh milk while he was dying. Well, he was shot. He was given milk in the manner we've described. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Yeah. Well, Anna, you were saying that Alexander Graham Bell was there while he was dying. Yes, so I mean I initially thought about phrasing this fact as Alexander Grahamville actually killed President James Garfield and then I felt like there might be lawsuits from his family, but because they'd lost the bullet and because in his body and because coincidentally Alexander Graham Bell had been developing the metal detector at the time, they invited him along and he tried to find the bullet in his body but failed on account of the fact that he was on a bed with a lot of metal bedsprings and so they obviously thought that he'd been machine guns down. They're everywhere. Something I can do. It's just incredible that. I mean, the genius of inventing a metal detector
Starting point is 00:14:39 and then not thinking to remove the massive source of metal that's incredible. You imagine, like, quietly Alexander Graham Bell was like, I think the president is a robot. That would have been his discovery. I'm not sure if James Skyo, he'll be, Scoutfield was a robot. He might have been a sea cucumber because they actually do eat through
Starting point is 00:15:00 their anuses. Do they? Yeah. They found this out quite recently because you know that they breathe through, you know they breathe through the anus. They pull water in and then push it out and the oxygenated water helps them to breathe. And they thought, well, maybe they take in food there as well. And they found out that they have a gut in the middle and they eat through the mouth and through their anus. So it comes in from both sides. That's pretty cool, isn't it? That is cool. That's amazing. Yeah. And can't they taste it?
Starting point is 00:15:29 Do they have taste buds in their anus, do you think? I don't know if they have taste buds in their anus. Well, James, you found out what else you can taste with, didn't you? Oh yeah, you can taste with your testicles. Well, here's thing. You have taste receptors in your testicles. No one's quite sure what they're for. But you also have smell receptors in your lungs.
Starting point is 00:15:48 And the reason we do know why they're there, because if you get a really terrible smell and your receptors in your lungs can, can smell it, then it'll close up your esophagus and stop anything poisonous from going into your body. But as far as I know, no one's found out yet why we have taste receptors in their testicles. Maybe someone will tweet me at egg shapes if you know why we can taste with our testicles. Let's move on to fact three. That is James, your fact.
Starting point is 00:16:18 So my fact is, in 2013, six people in the US named their child mushroom. I mean, I just love that. I love the kind of thing which we do on QI, which is sometimes just get a load of data and mine through it for the funny bits, which is where this came from, which is a big list of all the baby names in America. Mushroom.
Starting point is 00:16:41 I mean, it's, what would possess you to... I think it sounds quite nice. It does sound cool, actually. Mushroom. Mushroom. It's a shrum. Shroom, for sure. It's better than fungus.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Fungus doesn't sound nice. Because I like that. I think it's weird, because I have a mild mushroom phobia. I do. Yeah, I find them like very disgusting things. Well, don't look over your shoulder now, James. It's just the way that they reproduce with spas and they grow on dead things and stuff.
Starting point is 00:17:09 I just find it. I think a lot of people don't like mushrooms. There's something dead about them. Yeah. And it's a weird one that you, I find, because my friend hates mushrooms as well. And if I have a pizza with them on, we have to remove them. Yeah. Well, you know, Ash, who did the theme tune for our show.
Starting point is 00:17:24 um, um, but um, you, you kind of have to respect a hatred of mushroom or a fear of mushroom in the same way you respect someone's religious beliefs. I always feel like,
Starting point is 00:17:35 I really feel like like if someone doesn't like mushrooms, I really have to be like, oh, okay, I appreciate that. I, I will remove it from any of the foods that we will have in this house from here on in. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:17:48 Mushrooms are they really hate it. Yeah, they hate it with a passion. Like, oh, really, it's a bit like vegetarianism because you're, excluding an entire area of the... Are mushrooms at their own kingdom?
Starting point is 00:18:00 Yeah, yeah. Fungi are a kingdom, aren't they? Yeah, fungi are a kingdom in the same way that animals and plants are. But if you think actually mushrooms are more closely related to animals than they are to plants. Are they? No. Yeah, that's true. How?
Starting point is 00:18:15 How? As in they branched off... What animal-like activities do they take part of it? So you get packs of mushrooms hunting and other being a mushroom? The mushroom approaches it. Really slowly. I love names. I'm obsessed with,
Starting point is 00:18:36 because I always find them, particularly in pop culture. I mean, it's definitely been the rise of the celebrity world that suddenly they just, it's like celebrities are going, I've called my child mushroom.
Starting point is 00:18:47 What are you going to do about it? Everyone's like, well, nothing. Good. Catch you later. We'll do the same. Jay-Z's out. Like, yeah. Because my two favorite ones from recent times are
Starting point is 00:18:57 Germain Jackson of the Jackson 5 Has changed his surname from Jackson to Jackson So he's taken... With an apostrophe now No, so it's instead of Jackson with an O-N at the end It's UN, so it's Jack's son Because he doesn't want to be associated anymore With the Jackson brand
Starting point is 00:19:19 That'll help And he held a press conference because he was talking about his new album, and he announced it as press conference. He said, by the way, I have changed my name from here on in. I want to be now known as Jermaine Jackson, not Jermaine Jackson. And so they asked him, why have you done this? And he said, I don't want to talk about it.
Starting point is 00:19:40 So we don't know his actual proper reasoning, that everyone just thinks that he wants to get away from it. I have this big list of American people's names, like baby names from 2013. scene. And these are all male children with five people named these names in America. So, Vader. Darth Vader. Yeah. That's a good name as well. And also Vader was a WWF wrestler. Of course. Yeah. Is there anyone called Garth Vader? Just accidentally.
Starting point is 00:20:11 No, no, no, no, no, no, with a G. Don't worry. It happens all the time. Anyway, because if I just pick up my asthma pump I'm gonna Yeah, so five boys called Vader Five boys called Kestrel Which is quite a nice name Yeah, Kestrel's good
Starting point is 00:20:37 Five boys named Lucifer Not as nine That's a non-one, yeah Yeah, not as nice It means lightbearing I mean they could have said that he started out well He was an angel to start That is weird
Starting point is 00:20:48 Five boys called Sophie and also romance and Naomi they were boys with those names oh isn't that romance is quite unfair is very nice oh Obama's mum do you know what her name was no this really shocked me when I read this I was reading his autobiography and because remember the time when he was initially
Starting point is 00:21:10 being nominated everyone went on about his name like it was a big thing his name and so I'm surprised no one picked up on this his mother's first name was Stanley Stanley Obama She was called Stan the Man at school. Actually, in the older days, obviously names sometimes do change sex. I looked at the 1880 census, and there were 13 girls in America called Frank.
Starting point is 00:21:36 Is it short? Roosevelt had an aunt called Frank. One of the American presidents had an uncle. There were also 14 Cecils and 46 Johns. There were one female. And last year in America, there were three. 31 Jahans because they presumably miss felt John. It's a tough word.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Yeah. And also there were 1,436 people called Israel and 64 called Israel. Israel. Israel, man. I also, I love people who have a name that kind of means that you can do a lot with it, like Mike Love of the Beach Boys. So love being his surname, he's obviously gone great, I can put love onto everything. to everything. So he's got four unreleased albums. They're really bad.
Starting point is 00:22:24 So the first album was called First Love. Second album was called Second Love? Country Love. He missed a trick there. Then there was looking back with love. This is great. That one was released. That one made it. So the third unreleased
Starting point is 00:22:40 one was Unleashed the Love. And then, this is the best one at all. His fourth unreleased album, anyone ever bash? What pun title you might have? Love hurts. Oh, that's good, yeah 15 love No, Andy
Starting point is 00:22:56 The Power of Love That's good, but no Where is the Love? We're just naming other songs He can't steal other songs He can't steal, okay, it was Mike Love, not War That's amazing We know someone called Diamond Love, don't we?
Starting point is 00:23:13 We do know Diamond Love, that's very good Oh, and you had your friend's dad That's, I love this one. Okay. Yeah, so this is Jenny Ryan, who's done a lot of work on QI in the past. And her stepfather, I think, is called, he was called James Brown, and he got so annoyed with people making jokes about him that he changed his name to Dan Brown. Who then became the most famous author of all time. That's so good.
Starting point is 00:23:43 I love that one. That's great. Fact number four. Okay, fact number four is, I was talking to this historian the other day on Twitter, because I don't know if you saw on Friday last week on Twitter, it just went nuts with people, historians talking about Alfred the Great's bones being found because we haven't found many monarchs, right? Generally. Yeah, well, we famously found Richard the Third.
Starting point is 00:24:11 Richard the Third about two years ago, and so they're really excited because they dug up an area where they thought Alfred the Great was meant to be buried. Turns out he wasn't buried there. And then they went to a museum storage where they had a bowl. bunch of other bones that they seem to be animal bones and they found his pelvis bone now. So we have Alfred the Great pelvis bone or do we? They don't quite know. Where's the rest of him if we are not sure, but we have a pelvis bone, which feels just really
Starting point is 00:24:32 like you know all those like classic Jesus's grandmother's head and all those relics of the past. I have a fact about pelvis bones. Do you hear it? Weirdly enough. Absolutely. Okay, so there's a department in the Natural History Museum that if you find something weird in your garden or wherever you can give it to them and they'll tell you what it is. And it's usually people who find what they think is like jelly from space or cryptozoology things.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Jelly from space? Yeah, yeah. Well, it's what people think, you know. What is it though? Okay, that wasn't my fight. So jelly from space is whenever there is a meteorite, people seem to find this jelly on the floor
Starting point is 00:25:13 and there's been for hundreds of years people have thought that the two are to do with each other. Yeah. Nobody knows what it's true. from, it's called Star Jelly, and nobody really knows what it is. There's lots of theories. There's jelly that we don't know what it is? I think, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:29 I've heard of it. I've heard of Star Jelly, but I've never researched what it is. You've not researched, you know about this mysterious jelly substance. Yeah, I heard about it, and I thought, well, I'll just leave that bee, I'm sure. You can't be curious about everything. Okay, so as well as getting weird jelly, they also get what people think are dragonheads. and whenever they find a dragon head it is usually the pelvis of a seabird
Starting point is 00:25:54 like a puffin because apparently a puffin's pelvis looks like a dragon's head that's great that's my pelvis facts all claims of dragon heads turn out to be pelvis yeah the ones that these guys get yeah because do you know that this thing
Starting point is 00:26:08 about you find people thought that you would have one-eyed monsters so they're like what they what you call these monsters with one eye cytoposis yeah and the theory is that what they actually did is they would find the skulls of elephants and where the...
Starting point is 00:26:22 Yeah. The elephant skulls actually look like they have a big hole in the middle, like it would be one eye hole, and that's where the theory sometimes comes from. Well, the best thing that you've told me that I've been telling everyone for the past, I know, two weeks, is that the majority of sightings, photos taken of sea monsters turn out not to be sea monsters,
Starting point is 00:26:42 but in most cases, the penises of grey whales, because they mate at the surface. That's amazing. So these giant... Red whales, they always mate at the surface. and they always mate in threesome's two males and a female, which means that there's always one spare penis floating around the surface. Sticking out of the top of the water.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Yeah, if people Google this, if you're at home listening and you Google gray whale penis, you will see it and it does look like. It does. It does. It's very true. I've looked at it, and the majority of photos that you will see of people claiming to have caught a sea monster on camera, they just, they have.
Starting point is 00:27:15 But anyway, so on Twitter, when I was talking to Greg Jenner, Francesco, Avicapalos, all these historians. They started off by going, wow, Alfred the Great, an interesting find potentially. And then they're all now saying not so much an interesting find, like it probably will turn out not to be. But it got me, I just wanted to look into it because I didn't know much about it. And it led me to the story of how Richard the Third's bones were found recently. Yeah, so they were found in a car park in Leicester. They were found in a car park in Leicester. So what I didn't know, we all know that exactly. It was a very big find. What I didn't know is the person who found it, Philippa Langley.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Do you do, do... Does anyone here know about Philippa Langley? So you do, James? Anna? Do you know that? No. Okay. What would you assume the person who found Richard III's bones does for a profession? You assume she was an archaeologist, although I have read something about her that tells me she's not, and I assume you wouldn't ask me if she were. You are, you're like, Sherlock.
Starting point is 00:28:07 I'm going to go with archaeologists. Yeah, so she's not an archaeologist. She's a screenwriter. She's been writing for the last seven years, a story, you know, a script about Richard the 3rd, and she got involved in research. And so she started going to all the places where potentially Richard the 3rd was supposed to be buried. She went to Leicester, and she went to a spot where it was a loose end. It didn't look like where they said he might be buried where he was. And as she was leaving from effectively a disappointing trip, another one over the course of seven years, she saw a car park on the side
Starting point is 00:28:39 and got an uncontrollable urge to go inside. So she went into the car park and she was like, I feel like the king is here but she left it she went off she came back a year later she felt the same urge and she saw on the ground a gigantic R in red writing there's a huge R on the floor
Starting point is 00:28:59 and she said that's where he's buried now the R is a painted R for reserved on a car park she's not a crazy person yeah no and so she said it's here no one believed her she raised 34,000 pounds for them to dig it up she got Channel 4 to come and film it and they dug in the spot
Starting point is 00:29:14 at Richard the 13th was there. And it was a psychic, what was the word that I said to you earlier? A pre-sentiment. A psychic pre-sentiment. She just went, this is where he is. But what you don't know is that she's actually been going all over the country digging up holes for 20 years. Anything that had an R on it. Every pothole. So does that mean, Dan, that you believe that psychic? No, not at all. I just think that's one of the most wonderful. That story could not get any better.
Starting point is 00:29:40 A giant R, like an X marks the spot, but with the initial of the king. You know that the Ministry of Defence spent like £20,000 trying to prove that ESP existed. Only, like, even in the last 20 years they did that. Really? Yeah. Why were they trying to prove that? Well, I always think the reason they do it is because they think, if it does, we want to be first. And they think the Russians are probably going into this.
Starting point is 00:30:03 You know, so is everyone else. We might as well have have a go at it. I could have told them that it didn't. In fact, I tried to tell them really hard. What was strange when they found Richard the third, I thought, is we'd actually run on QI a few years ago whether Richard had a hunchback. And we said, you know, he didn't.
Starting point is 00:30:20 It was all made up by Shakespeare and people who wanted to deface him after his death. But then when they found him, they found that he did have like an arch to his... Yes, an S-shaped spine is what they said. But no, it's... I just find that fascinating
Starting point is 00:30:36 because I love it when things are found by people who shouldn't be finding the thing in question, but are convinced they're going to find it. I mean, that's the only instance. Is it maybe something to do with the fact that you usually do dig up ground, like either it's agricultural ground so you dig it up, or you're like putting buildings in so you dig it up, so car parks don't really need foundations.
Starting point is 00:30:54 So they're just things that haven't been discovered yet. Not sure. Because yeah, there are quite a lot of discoveries. In fact, I think we should ask at some point the question, what vital archaeological discovery was made under a car park in Leicester last year? I'm going to say that was the body of Richard III. Last year. Oh, James, you fell right into the best one.
Starting point is 00:31:18 Last year, yeah. Last year. No, no I did. Yeah, another car park in Leicester, same team who dug up the rich of the third, after the psychic women pointed them in the right direction, dug up this ancient Roman cemetery, which, like, revealed a whole bunch of stuff about how Romans used to bury pagans and religious people and Christians together. That is great.
Starting point is 00:31:38 Yeah, just reveal this. Another car park, Leicester. Why don't we just dig up all the car parks in Leicester? So that one had Romans. Dig up the helipads. You were fine King Harold. Cool. So that's our show.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Thanks so much for listening to No Such Thing as a Fish. If you want to find out more about any of the things on this show, you can go to QI.com slash podcast where we're going to have pictures. We're going to have extra bits of information and biographies of every single one of the elves who appeared on this show. And you'll find out about who's going to be appearing on our future episodes. If you want to tweet us individually,
Starting point is 00:32:16 ask us about something we said. You can get me on at Shriverland. James, you're on... At egg-shaped. And Andy at Andrew Hunter, M. And Anna isn't on Twitter, but we're going to try and get her on it at some point, but until then if you want to get to her at Quicipedia. So anyway, we'll see you again next week.
Starting point is 00:32:32 And hopefully you enjoyed the show and join us again next time. Goodbye.

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