No Such Thing As A Fish - No Such Thing As An Angry Banana
Episode Date: April 11, 2024James, Anna, Andy and Alex Bell discuss Wasabi, Harriet T, an Angry Bee and NH3. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free e...pisodes and exclusive bonus content at apple.co/nosuchthingasafish or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon
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Hi everybody, Andy here. Just before we start this week's show, I have a little announcement to make.
We're in Plug Corner because I have written a book. I have offended again against all the people who say don't, don't do another one, just stop at two, and I've written a third one.
And this one, for the first time ever, I've written something that is fun and funny, as well as being gripping.
It's called a beginner's guide to breaking and entering. It's about a young man called Al, who lives in gorgeous empty second homes,
the real owners are away. He's got a whole set of rules to help him get into these beautiful
houses he could never afford to live in. He has a great life until about chapter three, when he and
his friends break into the wrong house on the wrong day, somebody ends up dead, and everything
goes wrong from there. It's funny, it's gripping, it's pacey. There's a little bit of a message
about housing in there. It's a perfect summer read. People have been really nice about it.
Val McDermid, Lisa Jewell, some of the queens of crime have been incredibly kind about it.
It's out on the 25th of April, so if you order it now, you will be a much,
the first cohort globally to receive your gorgeous copy and they're really nice looking copies.
Please do pre-order it. It can really be the difference between a book flying and not flying
if it has a few pre-orders under its belt before that crucial first week.
It's out in all good bookshops. It's all bad bookshops. It's in all bad bookshops. It's in most
bookshops in the Commonwealth, basically. All you need to do is go in and say, I would like a
copy of a beginner's guide to breaking and entering by Andrew Hunter Murray. Waterstones even
have signed copies if you'd like to get hold of one of those. I promise it's good. I've put a lot
into it. I'm going to stop banging on about it now. It's called a beginner's guide breaking and
entering. Thanks very much for listening to this. On with the podcast.
Hello and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a weekly podcast coming
to you from the QI offices in Hoban. My name is Alex Bell and I'm joined by Anna Shusinski,
Andrew Hunter Murray and James Harkin. And once again, we are gathered around the microphone
to share our four favorite facts in the last seven days. So in no particular order, here we
go. Starting with fact number one.
And that is Andy.
My fact is that half the nitrogen in your body was made in a factory.
Which factory?
It won't have been made in the UK anymore.
Because of Brexit.
It's a range of factors.
But the last nitrogen-making factory, I think, has just shut down.
Has it?
Yeah.
Is that the billing of manufacturing plants?
Yes.
How interesting.
Has that closed.
I didn't know that.
It's either has done or is about to.
But let's zoom out a little bit.
Just thinking, though.
Yeah.
No, let's do while billing it.
Even if it's just closed, surely it takes a while for all the nitrogen to be replaced.
So maybe some of it's British nitrogen in my body.
You might have some British nitrogen in you, but I'm afraid a lot of it would be filthy foreign nitrogen.
Right, everything, all life forms, don't write in, most life forms, mammals and plants all contain nitrogen.
It's a really important component in your body.
It's required to make the protein in your body and all these various hormones,
neurotransmitters, like, it's vital. You know, nitrogen's very important. And most of the air is
nitrogen, right? 78% of the atmosphere is nitrogen, but that's not where you get your nitrogen from.
So you can't just breathe in the nitrogen from the air and get it in your body.
No, even if you hold your breath for ages, none of the nitrogen goes in that way. It doesn't work.
What a waste. But you get it from your food. So meat, fish, dairy, vegetable, cereals, nuts,
all of those foods contain some nitrogen, right? Yeah. So plants,
get it from the air. I mean, there's a complicated bacterial process.
I sure we'll get there.
Or lightning. All lightning, and that's another way.
We'll get there as well.
Yeah. The point is that about two or three kilos of your body,
roughly half of your forearm to the end of your hand, is nitrogen.
Is that where it all is?
And that's where it all is.
So the amount of you made in a factory is roughly your hand and wrist.
And that's because nitrogen-based fertilizer has become an enormous thing in the last century,
It's incredibly important.
It's why the human population has risen from one or two billion to now eight billion.
The sole reason is that we have enough ways of feeding people
because we have enough fertilizers to grow crops.
And the way we do that is with this brilliant chemical process
discovered at the start of the 20th century,
which allows us to pull nitrogen from the sky
and make it into fertilizer to make plants grow.
Does this mean I'm not organic?
Yeah.
Shit.
That's the point in buying all that nice food.
Nitrogen fixation. Do you remember learning about that?
That was where I sort of lost interest.
And now coming back to it, I thought, God, this is fascinating.
But poor old nitrogen being told it has to be fixed.
So there's this conundrum which Andy sort of touched on where it's the air's full of it,
but plants can't take it in without assistance.
And so it needs to be fixed by these bacteria that basically make plant roots grow these nodules,
which act as their homes.
And then they live in these nodules.
and they fix this nitrogen turning it into ammonia, which plants can use.
And the nitrogen came originally from a star exploding.
Ooh.
That's essentially it.
Didn't know that?
The big bang can make hydrogen and helium, but anything else needs to be made in stars.
The original nitrogen factory is a star.
Yeah, exactly.
So some star created lots of nitrogen, then it exploded.
Eventually it came to Earth.
Then eventually it got in the sky.
Then eventually a bacterium fixed it.
And then it got put into a carrot.
And then you ate the carrot, and then it went into your bloodstream,
and then it got turned into proteins, which got turned into muscles.
It definitely gets less exciting, doesn't it?
You're really, like, part of the journey starts off really well,
and then it's sort of sitting in a carrot.
Yeah, so how did we learn to make this stuff?
Oh, I'm so glad you asked.
Oh, it's like inside the factory with Greg Wallace.
I love that.
Oh, look out of nitrogen.
Oh, yeah, lovely.
Oh, yeah, cool.
It's all thanks to something called the Harbour Bosch process, or Hayes,
or Haber Bosch, is sometimes known.
So Flitz Harbour and Karl Bosch were two German chemists.
And the problem, like, everyone knew that we needed more nitrogen at the time,
but it was very hard to work out how we're going to actually get it.
And we talked about guano, like the guano gold rush,
because bird poo contains lots of nitrates.
So that in the 19th century was used to increase crop yields,
and that saved everyone's bacon, and, you know, that was brilliant for a while.
They all ran out of bacon.
Very nice.
We're talking about the Haber Bosch process.
Can I talk about bacon?
You know, bacon is, most bacon is cured with nitrates.
Right.
As in that's what makes it last longer, which is a type of nitrogen or it's a, you know,
it's a molecule with nitrogen in it.
And when it goes green bacon, that is something called nitrate burn.
And it's a reaction to the chemical that's used to cure it.
And it means that it's still good to eat.
So if your bacon's gone a bit green, you can still eat it.
Amazing.
It's not bacteria.
It's not anything that's bad for you.
It's just a natural part of the process.
I thought it was rotten.
I thought my bacon had gone off.
I'm not saying that all green bacon is good to eat.
No, that's what I've taken away from this.
But if you bought it only a week ago, it's probably fine.
Sorry, Andy.
You were saying about Bosch and Harbour.
Harbour.
Yeah.
So basically, he was a chemist, and it was a very difficult process to work out.
He knew that lightning, as you said, James, breaks apart nitrogen bonds.
Because nitrogen molecules are really tightly bonded.
It takes a lot of effort to break them apart, to turn them into ammonia.
But eventually, he worked out sort of pressurized process to combine.
nitrogen and hydrogen, and that makes the pneumonia fertilizer.
And he developed that in 1913, Harbor.
And it was just before the war.
And there's a theory that it actually kept the First World War going for longer than it should have done.
Because German imports of fertilizer were blockaded.
But he was able to, he had created a process where you could make, as they called it, bread from air.
So if we stopped any poo from getting over to Germany during the war, they could make their own stuff.
Exactly.
Yeah, basically.
Yeah.
I mean, that was it.
And he got the Nobel Prize.
it, didn't he?
Which was extremely controversial.
It was very controversial.
On the cover of his other legacy.
Because he made poison gas.
Right.
That's so far.
I can't believe the Nobel Prize.
In 1919, went to someone who'd invented, which gas was it?
Was it?
Chlorine gas.
It's bad.
It was quite controversial.
Yeah.
He did kill 90,000 people with it.
He didn't go around personally spraying it into the trenches.
Yeah, but he was responsible for the birth of arguably six billion.
Yeah, absolutely.
Some roundabouts.
Do you think on like, interviews and stuff, he's like, I don't want to talk about
that. I want to talk about my Nobel Prize winning work.
Because his wife, Clara, was a chemist as well.
And they had a huge dispute after the, I think, the first battle of EPR.
Yeah.
Where poison gas was used for the first time and killed thousands.
He said it was no different killing someone with a bomb or a bullet.
She said it is very different.
And then she killed herself.
She shot herself.
The ultimate act in an argument.
We don't know for sure that the argument is what led to the suicide.
Oh, really?
She didn't leave any notes or anything like that.
But we know she really.
She's fascinating Clara Haber and or Harbour, if you're a German listening.
She was Germany's first female doctor of chemistry.
She got a PhD in 1900.
And she turned him down.
The first time Fritz proposed she turned him down because she wanted to be financially independent,
which is crazy in 1900 as a woman.
But she'd gone, hey, I want to live under my own steam.
And then she decided marriage would kind of empower her,
which it bloody well didn't, which she did complain about.
Understandably, she was like, hang on, my husband turns out to be very self-serving,
constantly working.
I don't have a chance at all.
to develop my career.
Yeah.
And he's a mass murderer.
And it turns out he's a mass murderer and that's the final straw.
And he was like, no, no, talk about the other stuff.
Talk about the Nobel Prize stuff.
Did you see pictures of her?
I think she looks a bit like Fenella, Dan's wife.
Oh.
Do you?
Yeah.
I haven't seen a photo of her.
I'm not very good with faces as we all know.
Right.
But that was what I thought.
And do you associate Dan with Fritz Harbour,
the mass murdering but mass life producing complex character?
In some ways, but I think Dan is more of a wife guy than Fritz Harbourer.
So then Harbour escaped to Switzerland wearing a false beard after the war.
Amazing.
And then after World War I, because obviously we then had the Treaty of Versailles,
which really punished Germany, right?
And so he came up with the idea of extracting gold from the ocean
to pay off all of the war reparations,
because he knew that there was loads and loads of gold in the ocean.
And he thought, if I can get at that, we'll be rich beyond our wildest dreams.
It doesn't work.
and actually we still can't do it, of course.
What's that term that I think you've told me about James
for when Nobel Prize winners win a prize
and then they come up with a really insane subsequent idea?
Nobelitis.
Nobilitis sounds like a serious case of seriously sort of nobilitis.
But if you've done it once before,
we've literally made bread from air.
Yeah.
The human population is going to grow by billions.
That's true.
From the guy who brought bread from air
comes gold from the ocean.
It works.
Yeah, I believe it.
That works.
Yeah. Yeah.
And actually, sort of associated,
the Nobel Prize in 1930,
was awarded for basically being able to turn an element into another element,
which was the alchemy that people had dreamed of forever and ever.
True.
People had tried to make gold.
And actually this was turning boron into nitrogen,
which wasn't quite the fantasy of the 17th century alchemists.
But like these factories were taking already existing nitrogen out of the air
and making it into ammonia, which could be used.
But Marie Curie's daughter, who won that prize, right?
I can't remember her name.
but that was actually making New Nation,
which no one had ever done before,
apart from stars.
So this was amazing, and I didn't realize that.
She was the second female to win a Nobel Prize,
Mary Curey's daughter.
Was Mary Curee the first?
Yeah.
Yes.
And it was husband and wife as well.
So just like Marie Curie and her husband,
Pierre, who won a joint prize.
Sweetly, it was Mary Curi's daughter, Irene,
and her husband Frederick Jolio Curee,
who won the Nobel Prize in 1930.
Do you think that maybe they didn't have a chance unless you sort of did stand behind a man a bit?
I'm sure there was something of that.
Although her son-in-was-cury, so I think that probably helped me.
I think that opened a few doors.
Yeah.
And also her way of making nitrogen was firing radioactivity at Boron, wasn't it, I think.
Yeah.
So it's kind of, you know, in the parents' realm.
Okay.
Yeah, she probably had the equipment in the garage.
Really?
Yeah, exactly.
It's a lot easier when you feel it.
And if memory serves, I think she died of leukemia, didn't she?
What, the younger?
I think Irene did.
Related to the work she'd done.
I'm sure.
To be honest, I'm going off memory, but I think that's right.
Because Mary, it was the last thing that Mary almost did,
was see the results of her daughter's successful test
before she died of leukemia.
Yeah, nice.
One thing on the Billingham manufacturing plant.
Oh, thank God.
In Stockton-on-Tees in England.
We'd better get a free trip out of this.
It's closed.
I'm not going to have closed down 19-19-19-day.
I've had worse day trips out on the U.I credit card.
Yeah.
Aldous Huxley went there. They gave him a trip around and he based some of Brave New World on it.
So you know in Brave New World they like have a factory making humans I think. Don't they?
Yeah. And like yeah, they make clones and stuff like that. Yeah. And he saw this Billingham Factory that was effectively making life by making this nitrogen.
I am imagining like Willy Wonka style. Like it's so whimsical. It's a reverse Willy Wonka because in Willy Wonka don't the kids go in and never come out.
Whereas in Brave New World you get loads of new kids from the factory. The kids do come out. They just do come out.
come out all weird shapes and colors.
They all be really quite fucked up
psychologically and physically.
Every chocolate factory has a nitrogen factory next to it
to make new children.
It's a horrific process.
I learned about what I think is the most exciting moment
in history, in all of history.
As we said at the start, nitrogen essential for life
because it makes amino acids,
which make proteins,
and that's like the whole building box
of what all living things are made of.
But there's this kind of mystery,
which is how did the first life get its nitrogen?
Because as we've said, it needs this bacteria
to be made accessible.
And it can also be made by lightning striking through it,
but actually not enough seems to be generated by that.
And it seemed quite unlikely,
and it seems like the likeliest explanation
for where the very first life ever came from.
God.
Whatever, three and a half billion years ago is God.
That is excited.
This is like the original chicken and egg, really.
What is the answer?
So what is the answer?
The answer is it happened with volcanic lightning, which I just think is the coolest moment.
So basically, when volcanoes erupts, then lots and lots of lightning can be generated from the eruption.
It's when all this ash goes up. It's a really complicated process.
But basically, the ash rubbing against each other makes static electricity.
And if you look, you've got loads and loads of lightning bolts, hundreds of them in this volcanic eruption.
And scientists have looked at the soil around volcanoes, seen there full of nitrates, which plants can use.
and realized we think this must be how the first life ever was created
was when shed loads of lightning was firing above a volcano as it was erupting
and it allowed nitrogen to get into the soil in a way that could make eyes.
That isn't an origin story I can get behind.
I'm so glad it wasn't just like, oh, this cell touched this cell
and then a fish flopped out of a thing.
And all of the other origins stories are so lame.
That's like Frankenstein, electricity, evil laughter, lava.
Yeah, it's great.
So metal.
James, you just mentioned the Treaty of Versailles.
Yes.
So the Haber-Bosch process is so significant
that it was part of the package of the Treaty of Versailles.
No, was it?
The Western Powers ordered via the treaty,
Germany, to hand over the secret of making these fertilizers.
Really?
Yeah.
There's all sorts of stuff they cobbled on to the Treaty of Versailles.
Oh, crazy shit, right?
We've mentioned it in the past, and I can't remember what it was,
something else that's really random.
Champagne.
They also didn't they want to change the way that orchestras were tuned?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's it.
That's it.
There must have been like, and another thing.
It's like having an argument with your partner.
It starts with something else and you're like, I'm just going to dredge up all these other things.
The ultimate argument with a partner.
What's champagne?
What's champagne, sorry?
Oh, the fact that champagne can only be made in the champagne region and anywhere else is sparkling wine, that comes from the Treaty of Versa.
Just it.
I didn't know that.
Wow.
I was thinking, surely the French already had champagne.
The interesting part of that being that Russia didn't sign it and America didn't sign it
and in both those countries you can buy champagne which isn't from France.
No way.
America didn't sign the Treaty of Versailles.
The little known fact, the First World War is still going on.
They had their own treaties.
They did.
Do America and Russia have a good culture of champagne?
Are they known for good champagne anywhere?
Californian white wine.
Yeah, that's true.
You must be able to make good champagne out of that.
Yeah, just stick an anchor-selzer in it.
Bob's your uncle.
Okay, it is time for fact number two
And that is Anna
My fact this week is that Harriet Tubman
Once walked into a hospital
And asked a doctor to cut her head open
And he immediately did
Just mad
So Harriet Tubman
Extremely famous in America
Probably less well known about here
I would say
But you know
One of the most influential famous abolitionists ever
One of the Conductors of the Underground Railroad
Responsible for Smuggling lots of enslaved people
into freedom in the 19th century.
And one thing that I've learned through reading about her,
she was insanely hardcore, so tough.
So, and this is just an element of it.
She was very old at the time.
She must have been in her 60s or 70s, I think, in the 1890s.
And late 1890s, she's in Boston, and she passed this big building.
And she asked what it was, and someone said it was a hospital.
And she thought, well, I've had these terrible headaches my whole life.
She really had had awful, like, headaches and, like, terrible vision problems.
It was probably disabled by it.
So she went right in, and she said, I saw a young man there, and I said, sir, are you a doctor?
And he said, sir, do you think you could cut my head open?
And he said, lay right down here on this table.
No.
And Sons painkillers, he sawed open her skull and raised it up, apparently.
And then as she put it, she got up, put on her bonnet and started to walk home,
but her legs did get a bit wobbly and give out under her.
so they gave her an ambulance to take her the rest of the way.
It's astonishing.
Sorry, some questions.
When you say he raised up, it is there like a loft extension of her skull?
Was her brain too big?
What is going on?
I think this was a slightly questionable medical procedure,
which she said worked and may have been more placebo than that.
She didn't go and say, my brain is a bit low.
I feel like my brain's a little bit low in my head.
It's always been my neck.
Could you just wrench it?
Well, she did say it feels more.
comfortable now.
Apparently she refused anesthetic,
bitter bullet, as they did in the Civil War.
That is actually, I'm afraid, a myth,
but it's a very interesting subject you raise, Alex,
because it's the mythology of her life,
which has been so turned into all these stories.
I personally don't believe any of this.
It sounds ridiculous.
It's interesting, because the more you read,
you're like, that's a great fact,
and then you read again, someone goes, no, that's a myth.
And then a lot of the myths come from relatively close sources,
don't they? Like the first biography
have heard that was written, there's loads of
myths in there. She never got to write her own. She wanted
to write her own and she never got to. Is it? Yeah.
Well, you need to learn to read first time. Yeah, it's true.
Have you heard this story?
Because she was illiterate.
Yeah, I was wondering.
That's how someone brought Harriet Tupper
down to her party. That's why
I decided to do a fact about it. On the reading, did
you hear, I imagine this could be an apocryphal tale as well,
but there's a story that she was
many years after all of her time
running the Underground Railroad, that she was on a
train and a former master of hers got on and she was a known figure by that point.
But, and so to avoid being recognised, she grabbed a nearby newspaper and pretended to
read it because she was known for not being able to read.
Oh, yeah.
And then who was on the front cover of that newspaper?
The face was lined up perfectly without a wanted sign.
No, I think it's probably untrue.
That might be, because I've had a different version of it, which is that when she was on one
of her missions, because she left the south where she'd been enslaved and she went back to
free former slaves and you know she did a lot of that
shuttling back forward but she was back in the south
at 8056 and she overheard some men reading
her wanted poster right
which said clearly
she's illiterate and then she got out a book
and pretended to read it and the ploy was enough to fool the men
and she looks just like Harriet Tubman but she's reading
so it can't be her yeah yeah yeah she's reading a normal
book upside down like so it can't be over but
why would you put on the wanted poster that
the she can't read it doesn't make any sense yeah exactly
one of the least relevant things and
And also I think the idea that people even knew who she was at the time is false.
So they knew that there was a person who was helping all these enslaved people be freed.
They knew that people were calling them some kind of Moses because they were free in their people.
But they didn't know anything about her personally.
And a lot of people assumed it was a white abolitionist who was helping enslaved people.
But it is interesting because a lot of the stuff you read, you just think that can't be true.
And it's not to do down her amazing achievements at all, but it's to show that she's,
she's become this like unbelievable cult figure.
It's almost mythological with some of the stories around her.
We've got to tread quite a careful line between slamming
one of the most beloved and famous women in American history
and also sort of ignored her.
She was amazing stuff.
I find her the most incredible person,
one of the most incredible people ever.
I don't have the energy sometimes to finish the research with this podcast.
And this woman who was like she was very disabled.
She was female.
She was black.
She was enslaved.
Just this extraordinary life.
And she fought in the civil war as well.
She, after being this abolition.
hero. She fought in the Civil War. She was incredibly charitable. I don't understand where she got
the energy and it actually makes me quite angry. Her injury, her disability came when she was
injured by an overseer who threw a stone weight at her head when she was quite young.
He actually threw it at someone else, I think, and it missed and hit her. Is that right?
Oh, that's bad luck. But yeah, she had sleeping spells quite often, so she would just kind of fall asleep.
We'd probably call narcolepsy today. But she would have like these kind of hazy dreams while
she was asleep.
And because she was very religious,
she thought they were kind of premonitions from God.
It's quite stressful, the idea,
let's say,
you've been enslaved,
Harriet Tubman's come back,
she's freed you,
she's guiding you to the north,
and then she just falls asleep.
It's a bit of a comedy scene.
There is sick on potential in this life,
is all I'm saying.
I think that might be the first time ever someone said
there's sitcom potential in Harriet Tubman's life.
She went back.
She freed, and the numbers vary.
So she rescued 60 or 70 people herself personally
and that she gave instructions to another 70-odd.
And that got slightly inflated to 300.
But she did go back.
I mean, between, around 10 times,
she made a mission back into the South,
which was really perilous.
She also went back at one point to go free her husband,
who she'd left, came back, found that he'd remarried.
And there's a line which, again, is probably just a biographer.
Sort of like she thought about making a scene,
but then decided against it and rescued him.
anyway, but it's like the idea again of like
the sort of two minutes where she's deciding whether to
massively kick off that you buy another woman or to
save you. Well, he didn't need to be rescued
per se because he was not enslaved.
He was a free man. Right.
Was he? Yeah, yeah. Which was kind of a
big deal at the time because a free man
marrying an enslaved woman
you would lose a lot of your rights
because all your children would be automatically
enslaved. You wouldn't be able to get married
unless you had permission of the
woman's master as they called them.
Yeah, so that was quite
a big deal but yeah like you say once she was off doing her gallivanting he was like now I'm just
going to find another wife very married again the sitcom is taking shape one one sweet thing I do like is
that when she retired eventually she retired into a retirement home that she had founded so she in
1908 she opened the harriet tobbin home for the elderly specifically for like indigent and aged
african-americans as it was described and we're sure they didn't misunderstand and she said no I called it the
Harriet Tubman home because it's just a home for Harriet.
Here's another good thing. Okay, this is good. And I'm pretty sure
this is true as well. So on the missions, when she was taking people over to the north,
she would sing, right? And there were particular songs. And some people
say she would sing things like Swinglow Sweet Chariot, but that hadn't been written yet.
But she was very ahead of her time. She was, yeah.
She was. Yeah. So there were songs called Go Down Moses and Bound for the
promised land, right? And those were real songs, which,
she did sing at the time.
Yeah.
And this is a cool thing.
She would change the tempo of the songs
to indicate whether it was safe to come out or not.
So she would just be walking along singing.
But the way she was singing was a message
to the people she was ferrying north.
Really?
Does that mean like, you know,
if everything's going well and they need to run,
did she like go d-d-l-d-lind-lind-lid-lid-lid.
And then if they needed to be slower,
she would just do it.
Yeah. And if she stopped singing completely,
she's fallen asleep.
I was looking into possibly what kind of brain surgery she had.
and then I went on a bit of a journey and found a really fascinating syndrome,
which I cannot believe we have never spoken about before.
I feel like we all might have it, actually.
This is the, it's called Forster Syndrome, also known as Wittselsook,
and it's the pathological urge to constantly make puns.
Wittsell sucks.
I had that for a while, Wittsaw sucked.
Somebody get a doctor.
Fucking out.
So this was first.
noticed it in 1929 by a German
neurologist called Otfried Forster, which is
what is named after. He was operating on a
patient to remove a tumour and the patient was
awake as often happens as was the case with
Harriet Tubman and as
he started moving around this tumour
the man suddenly, he was face down
strapped to the table, he suddenly just started
talking manically and just like making
pun after pun. They were all based on.
I hardly even matter. Literally that. It was literally
all about knives and surgery and he'd
obviously because that was what was on his mind because he was having
brain surgery. Literally what was on
his mind.
Exactly.
Jesus,
guys,
can you stop?
It's absolutely fascinating.
And then there'd be more recent examples of this.
There was a man a few years ago.
We just know his name is Derek because he was anonymous.
But he had a couple of strokes and his behavior changed in many ways.
He used to try and compulsively recycle stuff and things like that.
And he started waking up his wife in the middle of a night being like, I've just
come up with another pun.
And eventually his wife was like, why didn't you start writing them down and not telling me?
But eventually realized that this was like a pathological behavior change.
Wow.
And the interesting other side effects is this is that it's a really simple basic humor,
like basic pun connections, basic, really basic jokes.
There's a lot of skill involved.
Neurologist studied this and they showed them more complex joke patterns.
They didn't find them funny at all.
And it's something to do with that really basic pleasure of making their connection in your head.
But they also didn't find other people's jokes funny at all.
That's basically every comedian, isn't it?
Another thing about Tubman is that she did get famed by the end of her life and was recognizable.
and a bunch of receptions were put on in her honour in the 1890s.
They were put on in Boston and she didn't live there.
She had to get a train.
But to pay for the train ticket, she had to sell one for cows.
So in order to get to a bunch of receptions thrown in her honour
where she was the star guest, she sold her cow to get the train.
I think she spent so much of her life in different parts of her life in poverty
just because she just gave away so much stuff.
When she rescued people from slavery, she used to then follow through
and get them jobs and set them off.
up in the new place and stuff.
She didn't just get them to somewhere and be like, see ya.
She did a lot of cooking too.
And that was relevant because she raised a lot of money for the missions by cooking, basically.
And there was a really interesting piece about this sort of facet of her life on NPR.
So she was once at a market.
She came face to face with a former slave overseer, basically.
And she was holding two chickens, right?
Oh, yeah.
What did she do?
She pretended to read the chickens.
Brilliant.
She said, oh, looks like there's three cocks at the room.
Very sassy.
Going in the pilot script.
Did she shove her head into a chicken and to disguise herself as a chicken?
Hit him with a chicken.
She threw eggs at him.
She released one of the chickens and then pretended to chase it,
causing a comic kerfuffle.
Ironically, by drawing attention to herself, she deflected attention from herself.
I get another scene in the sitcom.
That's what happens in Mr. Bean's holiday.
He chases a chicken for like 40 minutes.
Comedy goals.
That's so clever we've got the Beanographer.
I do love Mr. Bean.
So there's a link between her and Queen Victoria, which I find interesting.
So in 1897, Queen Victoria sent her a shawl to sort of mark her amazing work.
Yeah, it was a gift.
Yeah, a gift, yeah, yeah.
But I thought I could do a little quiz to you now.
Brilliant.
Who was taller?
Queen Victoria or Harriet Tubman?
Ooh, good one.
Queen Victoria was no more than five foot, I think perhaps less, four foot 11.
She was famously quite short.
Famously short.
I believe famously her circumference ended up being more than her height at the
end for life. Does this help us with Tubman though?
Tubman's got to be taller. I know
she was on the small side. I think she's
going to be smaller because it's not a fun quiz because
Queen was quite short. She's probably short for most people.
I think the fun ship has sailed.
I'm going to say, I think
Tubman was an inch taller. Okay.
I reckon she was five foot on the dot.
I'm going to say they're exactly the same height.
Brilliant. I'm going to say Tubman was an inch shorter.
Well, Anna's closest.
Tubman was 4'11.
Queen Victoria. Now, James, I have read
I went down a real rabbit hole.
I'm sure you're right.
Basically, we know there's a surviving tape measure
kept by a portraitist in 1837.
Oh, my God.
Which shows she was 5 foot 1.
Because she had been, Victoria, I mean, not Tubman,
Queen Victoria had been claimed to be 5 foot 2.
And they boosted her height by an inch.
Obviously, it would be ridiculous to say she's 5 foot 10
and, you know, really leggy.
Maybe she was wearing heels.
Basically, they were a bit embarrassed,
the royal family, that she was only 5 foot 1
because it made it seem like she hadn't been fed well in child,
and, you know, like, taller children tend to be better fed.
They boosted her height, sort of her public height, to five foot two, so that she would seem
a bit better.
But the portrait artist had the receipts.
What I think is interesting is that this means approximately that Queen Victoria is about
the same height as Sandy Toxwig and Harriet Tubman was about the same height as Susan Kalman.
Yes.
So if we need people in your sitcom of Tubman.
I think that's some problematic casting there.
if you're saying, Susan Kalman for the role of Harriet Tubman.
I do see that now, yeah.
Okay, time now for fact number three, and that is James.
Okay, my fact this week is that wasabi is good on sushi rolls and papyrus scrolls.
Lovely.
I beg to differ, personally.
What?
Never tasted papyrus, and yet I reckon I know it's not good.
Ah.
Without wasabi.
Well, we come to the fact itself.
Oh, he's worded it humorously.
I wouldn't say that's even humorous.
It's just a rhyme.
Lyrically.
You've worded it misleadingly in the hope of humor.
It charmed me.
I found it amusing.
It is not misleading at all.
So it's good on sushi rules because it tastes good, in my opinion.
And there are other reasons that we might come to.
Papyrus scrolls, though, is the main interesting part,
which is this new technique of looking after papyrus.
Now, there is a problem.
that because papyrus is made from plants,
it can fall victim to fungal infections,
and the fungus can damage the papyrus,
and it can cause the paints to fade and stuff like that.
And so there has been a study in the Journal of Archaeological Science,
which has put some wasabi vapors onto the papyrus,
and these smells kill off the funguses,
or rather stop the funguses from growing very well,
and they don't get rid of the colour,
so you can still read them.
And yeah, this is a lot safer and better for the environment than what you might use before, which is chemicals.
It's super non-invasive because they just put the wasabi near the pyris.
Yeah, yeah.
What I really like in this study is that they didn't want to use actual, you know, ancient Egyptians and papyruses,
but they wanted to see if it worked on something like that.
So they did exactly what you would do at primary school, which is heated up some papyrus to make it look like it was really old.
You know, like you would I do if you were making a pirate.
at BAP at school. Do they dip it in tea?
They did it in tea?
They made new papyrus. They made new papyrus.
They aged it up fast. They aged it fast by heating it up.
That's so clever. Yeah. And then they mix water and wasabi, almost like if you mix your
wasabi with soy sauce, that kind of, you know. And after the end of the process, you've got
a snack. Yeah, exactly. I'm less worried about wasting papyri on this process and more worried
about wasting good wasabi on this process. Oh, are you? It's very precious for
wasabi, it's very hard to make, isn't it? It's hard to obtain it. And they're just like steaming away
wasabi at papyri. And isn't most wasabi not real risabi? I mean, I've probably never had real
wasabi. I didn't think I've ever had real wasabi. It's mostly done. I have been, but I read that even in Japan, a lot of it is... I believe most of it in Japan. It's horse radish. What if I went to a really nice restaurant in Japan? You're probably fine. Would it be hard? I think five or ten percent of wasabi served in Japan is real wasabi. But in the West, it's like,
1% is real wasabi.
It's really...
And it's all horseradish.
It's all dyed horseradish.
And horseradish is really strong.
But I think wasabi is a bit gentler
and a bit more interestingly delicate
and a bit more flavoursome.
Yeah.
That's what I read.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And a bit...
You can tell if you've got real stuff
because it should be a bit grittier.
Also, I didn't realize that you need to eat it immediately.
As soon as it's been grated
because it loses it zing.
So essentially you...
Sometimes they bring a root to the table
and a grater and you grate it fresh onto your food.
It's quite...
I think I prefer the horse fadish.
If the real wasabi is bland and gritty,
and you have to have it immediately fresh
or it goes off even more.
No one said bland.
I just want to say,
if there are any chefs out there.
Oh, Alex said bland.
We didn't say bland.
I believe delicate.
And the other thing,
the other reason wasabi is good on sushi rolls,
so not just because it tastes good,
but also because it has antimicrobial properties.
So as well as stopping funguses from growing,
it can stop bacteria from growing.
And it has something in there called
six methyl sulfinyl hexyl,
hexyl hyacylosyanate,
which stops E. coli,
staphoccus, and salmonella
from growing. Really? Yeah.
Sounds like we should be taking baths in it or something. It would be good for us as
an anti... I think
even the delicate wasabi,
if you have a bath in it, it's going to get
right up your nose. Yeah, that's fair, fair, fair.
And we'll cost you a fair few bob.
But you could put a bit in your shoes
and stop a fungal infection or something. You could go for
a bath, a nonson in Japan, and maybe
someone could come over and just grate a little bit
of wasabi into our van. That would be so nice.
Yeah, that's luxurious.
You can look it.
Sorry.
You can look it and you won't taste the spice.
Oh.
So there's no point in licking it?
No, unless you don't like spicy food, but you want to eat wasabi, in which case, just lick it.
And then you won't get the spice, but you'll have touched rhaps with your tongue.
If you have fungus or microbes on your tongue.
Yes.
Yes.
That's a good point.
I think that should work.
In fact, and it's a lot like how lightning can split up nitrate.
So by grating wasabi, think of the greater as the lightning.
that splits up the wasabi plant and it splits up its cells.
What a torture metaphor.
I feel like I could have understood it without any of the previous callback.
Are you sure?
Is that what creates the flavour?
It breaks up the cells and creates the flavour.
So Anna, how does wasabi work?
Well, let me take you back to the dawn of the universe.
Do you know horse radish is poisonous to horses?
No.
No.
So they don't know why it's called that.
But I actually like both options.
So the word horse radish first appeared in 1597 in English.
People think it might be because it resembles a horse's genitalia.
It speaks of a time when more people were familiar with what horses knackers look like.
You know, I could probably draw you one, but I would...
I probably could draw them in push if I had to.
You know, absolutely no, you could do an amazing shaded sketch.
So it's either genitals, hot radish.
Yes.
Because they do look a bit like their...
Horse radish is like a moly.
I mean, that's probably less...
What's a mool?
It's like a long white radish, right?
I don't know that it looks like.
Is that what a mool is?
Yeah.
Are they really big?
Yeah, it's probably, I would say, how big is that?
About foot long?
That looks pretty normal.
I think your moolies simile might have been up there
with my confusing lightning simi
for making things clearer.
What's a moolie?
A moolies like a large radish.
Like a horse radish?
Yeah.
That's like, they're similar.
I understand.
I can see this going round in circles.
I genuinely thought people would know what a moly look like.
Yeah, okay, fine.
What's the other option, Anna?
Well remembered, thanks James.
It's because, so in German, you might be able to guess if I tell you that in German,
a horse radish is called meirritic, to mean sea radish, actually.
Oh.
Not to be confused with the sea radish, which is a different plant.
I know, because it looks like a sea horse's genitalia.
Yeah, very nice.
You're miles off.
In the older days, everyone knew what that looked like.
Because we all row sea horses throughout town, didn't we?
What grows in the sea?
It looks like a radish.
It's more about pronunciation.
SpongeBob Square, Pat.
It's about the pronunciation.
So when we were translating it into English, we heard mare radish.
Oh, mair, as in like the mare, as in a female horse.
As in a horse.
Let me give you another reason why it might be called that.
Albertus Magnus was writing in the 13th century, and he discussed horse radish.
He just called it radish, but he suggested it as a treatment for constipation in horses.
Oh.
So it could be that we kind of heard the mare, thought we used it for constipation in horses anyway,
and so maybe that's why we call it horse radish.
Is it up the bottom?
It didn't say, Albertus Magnus didn't say.
He just said it's used for constipation in horses.
It might have been up the bum
because there's another thing called Raphrodosis,
which is a punishment in ancient Greece
of inserting the root of a radish up the bum
as a punishment for adultery.
Now, we don't know what kind of radish that was.
It probably wasn't one of those little red ones,
that you get insane spruce.
That's the first offence.
But if it was horseradish, for instance,
then that would be much more of a punishment
because you're going to get that kind of wasabi burning of the bum
as well as having something that's the size of a moly going up your bum.
Not the size of a moolie.
I bet there was one person who got really turned on by it.
I bet there's one example where someone was like,
oh no, I'm adulterated again.
Get the hammer.
stories of ancient Greece, Alex.
Here's a thing on papyrus.
Right.
Oh, my goodness.
Okay.
Have you...
Right.
You know the Library of Alexandria?
Yes.
Okay.
Ancient Egypt, founded in the 295 BC.
Yeah.
They had a copy of every book.
Or they were trying to get one.
So the Ptolemies, with the pharaohs at the time, they're all called Ptolemy, basically.
And they would hunt for manuscripts everywhere, right?
And they would send out, if a foreign ship sailed into Alexandria, it was searched for scrolls.
And then they'd be confiscated and coffeeed out and then give them back.
And all of this was on papyrus, right?
Uh-huh.
And the Nile Valley was the centre of the written word because papyrus grew on the banks of the Nile.
So the Ptolemies have basically a control supply.
Yeah, yeah.
And then there's this rival library that sets up.
King Eumenes of Pergamum found a rival library, the library of Pergamum.
And Pergamum was huge at the time.
It was a big kingdom, like massive.
Turkey.
Modern day Turkey.
And more.
You know, they were a big deal, the Purgamites.
Anyway, basically, talk about sitcom potential.
There's this spell in history.
The makers of Harriet Tubman, exclamation, right?
There's the spell in history where both libraries are trying to secure every book on the planet.
And they are bidding huge wages for scholars, like Premier League footballers for scholars and scribes.
Some scholars are in prison, so they can't run off to the other library.
And then the huge move happens, Ptolemy the 5th,
takes the rivalry to a new level, about 100 years after the founding,
he bans the export of papyrus.
Huge mood.
Ouch, that's cheesy, isn't it?
Eat it, Pergammon.
That's like taking the football off the pitch.
It basically is, you can't make any scrolls, you can't copy any manuscripts.
We own literature.
So what did Pergamum do?
Well, he...
Invented paper?
Yes, he must have invented the paper.
The audio book.
He invented the audio book.
They started manufacturing parchment from the skin of animals.
And parchment literally means from Pergamum.
That's the etymology.
Oh, way.
That's so cool.
And the thing about parchment is you can cut it up in layers
and you don't need to roll it in a scroll, which is incredibly inefficient.
You can have pages.
You can have pages.
That's so interesting.
And that is where, like parchment already existed, but they, as it were, put a lot of manufacturing
behind it and made it bigger, you know.
And the book is better than the scroll.
Wow.
The pen is mighty than the sword.
And the book is better than the scroll.
Do you know what, Andy?
I'm going to come out and say it.
That etymology is even more interesting than the horse genitalia.
Wow.
Well done.
Wow.
Strug disagree.
Okay, it's time for our final fact, and that is my fact.
My fact this week is that bees smell like bananas when they get angry.
I've never seen an angry banana.
So I think this is just a weird coincidence, really.
Bees use pheromones a lot to communicate.
They release different chemicals, which other bees can smell.
one of the pheromones that they release is a distress or alarm signal.
Maybe there's a predator, one of their beases in trouble, makes them really angry too.
And one of the chemicals in this pheromone is called isoamyl acetate.
And that also happens to be the chemical which is banana flavour.
Yeah.
Can I just say mostly, because I think people often say what you would know is banana flavor is actually this very specific banana thing.
Most people know banana flavor from actual bananas, right?
I mean, I don't have that many banana-flavored things.
Have more people eaten bananas or eaten a banana-flavored angel-delight maybe?
I'm going to go out there and say more people have eaten bananas than banana-flavored angel-d-later.
Well, that's because bananas have an entrenched advantage, you know.
Arguably, banana-flavored angel-delight is better than a banana.
If it grew on trees.
Exactly, yeah.
But you have hit the point that banana flavor, artificial banana flavoring today is not quite the same as the bananas we eat today.
You have mentioned this on the podcast before, and there's a, there was a,
a previous species of banana or strain of banana called the growing shell banana, which used
to be all around the world.
It's extinct.
I think it's still around in Thailand somewhere, but it's not commercially really available
or used.
It was like nearly completely wiped out, if not completely wiped out.
Just by the Angel Delight Market.
So we eat Cavendish bananas now, I think.
And they're supposed to be less tasteful.
And so actually the slightly tangy, a stronger artificial banana flavour in those tiny sweets
that we get.
And that's the one that you get from the bees.
And people, it is a renowned thing in the bee community.
I was messaging Liz, who is one of our colleagues who's been at QI longer than all of us, in fact.
And she's a beekeeper as well.
You mean Liz.
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
She says, yes, sometimes you will enter the hive and there's a real banana stench.
Is there really?
And they don't go near a hive with a banana is the other thing to do.
Absolutely.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because they'll think it's a, they'll remind them a large bee.
Yeah. Especially if you paint
black stripes on the banana.
I think it's the equivalent of walking into a hive with a big sign that just says
I killed your friends.
Don't also go to a beehive with a pregnant mouse.
That's where I went wrong.
So pregnant mice smell like bananas?
They do.
Do they?
Yeah, they do.
It's a scent that they give off.
And it also stresses out male mice.
isoamyl acetate.
The smell of a pregnant female mouse.
Yeah, it does.
Stresses out males?
Yeah, because mice are,
often cannibals and they will eat baby mice.
But not if you make yourself smell like a banana,
the males will go, oh, I'm not going near that,
and they won't eat your children.
That's so ironic.
They won't eat you if you make yourself smell like a banana.
It's a fuck-out well, is it?
We're like, hmm, delicious children.
Oh, it's got banana on it.
But I didn't know the range of pheromones that bees use.
There's so many.
There's a massive list online.
There's extraordinary, weird things that they can do.
So, for example, the queen, there was a great...
She used to have bees.
She smells a banana.
Queen Liz.
Brilliant.
I found a piece on this from 2014.
I just want to give a shout out to Luke Holman on the conversation.
I don't know if you wrote the headline, but it was called Smells Like Queen Spirit.
Fantastic.
So good.
So queen bees, they broadcast data via pheromones to the rest of the hive.
And one of the things is to say they are the queen.
That just communicates, you know, clear leadership in place.
Another is whether or not they are mated and have been mating around
and also how well-mated they are.
So they have pheromones to release to say how many males they've had sex with.
Imagine if our queen did that.
It would be so funny.
He's opening a school and you're like, oh.
More promiscuous queens are better for the colony
because they provide a bit more genetic diversity
and that keeps the colony nice and healthy.
But every queen has to,
I was reading this interesting about how you introduce a queen to a colony.
If you just take your queen and plonk it in, the bees will kill it because she's got the wrong pheromones.
She's from another hive, and the worker bees need a chance to get used to her.
So the way that you do it is that you have a box and you put this box in the hive
and the doorway to the box is sealed up with sugar, basically.
The bees eat through it and it takes them a while, but it means that they end up being quite close to the queen
who's sitting inside their little box waiting to be released from the box.
And so the time it takes for the bees to eat through the sugar, they can smell the queen on the other side.
and they get used to her
and then they don't want to kill her.
So it's like she burst out of a cake.
She actually does, yes.
That is exactly how every new queen is introduced to a beehive.
Another use of isoamyl acetate
is to make fake bananas.
And this happened during World War II.
Let's say we've stopped any poo getting to Germany
and they've said, right, well, you're not having any bananas then.
So you can't get any bananas there.
So you have to make fake ones.
And they made mock bananas by using parsnips.
They would get some parsnips.
They would add some isoamyl acetate, which was available banana essence, essentially, literally essentially.
And they would eat them.
And apparently there was a modern day blogger called Carolyn Ekin, who recreated it and said,
it's a rather strange and bizarre taste, but not unpleasant, although there is a aftertaste of parsnip.
I think it's so tragic.
The idea of, like, mash up your parsnip.
That was the war.
Bananas. Yeah, no, it really works.
When a Queen Bee dies, she stops releasing the pheromones
that she's been using to keep the colony happy and placid.
And this causes a big reaction,
and the workers basically get going on an emergency queen.
So this is really interesting.
They build these huge queen-sized chambers,
like queen-sized bedrooms, effectively.
And they get 10 to 20 candidates, workers,
and they start feeding them royal jelly,
and they find out who becomes the queen.
That sounds like a reality format.
It actually is.
And the first one to emerge
kills all the others
and then begins to lay eggs.
We make it past the ethics committee.
The BBC, I don't think.
Yeah.
There is only one pheromone
which two
dung beetles share.
Okay?
So most dung beetles have their own pheromones
was one that's shared by both of them
and it's called anisole.
Where do they release it from?
It comes because,
because it smells a bit like anise, like Staranese.
Oh, that is a name that works, I'm sure,
brilliantly in the French market.
Isn't there a whole thing where beavers' anal glands are the origin of an awful lot of chemicals?
Castori.
Flavors, including and strawberry, raspberry flavouring.
They're not necessarily used anymore because I think it's still quite rare and expensive
and also people don't really want that on.
Only 5% of strawberry-o-o-oedged gland juice, sadly.
And if I went to a really nice restaurant, I did really get finger anal glass.
Don't worry.
In your angel's delight.
Anal delight.
Can you guys smell ants?
Yeah, I want to tell.
Oh my God, the ant detectors going on.
Everyone line up, pick up something much heavier than you, and file out of the building.
I'm not asking.
right now.
Yeah.
I'm saying in general,
if there was some ants on the table,
do you think you'd be able to smell them?
I've never,
no, I don't think I would.
Yeah,
so the interesting thing is that this is a thing
that people have said on the internet.
A lot of people have said,
oh, I can smell ants.
And then other people have said,
you can't smell ants.
And then there's been big arguments.
It's not like the internet to argue
over something completely pointless.
But IFL science,
which we all love,
that website,
they carried out a Twitter poll.
And they found that 20%
of respondents claim that they can detect the odor of an ant compared to 80% who can't.
Ants are heavily dependent on pheromones.
Were 20% of respondents ants?
I don't know.
Well, we don't know exactly.
I think one thing we can say is that this is not a particularly scientific survey.
But let's say, for instance, it is true.
There are various different reasons that it might be true.
It could be that some people have a certain gene that allows them to smell ants.
Like you can smell asparagus we.
Some people can.
some people can't.
It could be that some ants smell
and the ones that live in certain areas smell
and the ones that live in certain areas don't smell
and that's the responses we've got, but we don't know.
Well, they're living in smelly areas
and we're smelling other things and it's covering them up.
If I'm in like the ground floor of John Lewis,
like I'm not going to smell an ant
because it's the perfume section.
Yeah, absolutely.
So if all of the UK smelly ants
live in perfume sections of John Lewis,
we would never smell them.
It's a very relatable comparison point.
It's just something, it's a bugbear of mine
Because I like going to John Lewis.
I nearly pass out every time I go in.
You have to sort of, I love walking.
I can't stand it.
I love walking.
I really like it.
I really like going in an airport and trying out all the samples.
Yeah, me too.
Yeah, yeah.
And then getting on the plane and really offending everyone.
You've never tried that.
I should do it.
You should do honestly.
As you go through the duty three, there's loads of free samples.
That's another bit I hate because it smells so awful,
as in so strong and it like gives me headaches.
So you've probably got quite a sensitive set of pipes on you.
There's definitely an ant in this room.
Right.
Quite a lot of hotels have got cameras in the bedrooms these days.
In the beds, in fact.
What?
What?
Do you mean bee hotels?
No, human hotels.
Human hotels.
And so this is something called the spotter gadget.
It's got loads of pheromones in it and a tiny camera.
And you put it in a hotel bed.
And the pheromones attract bed bugs.
And then when the bedbugs go into where the pheromone,
are the tiny camera takes a photo of the bedbugs
and sends it off to someone who looks at it and goes,
yes, that's a bed bug.
Goes, poor.
And then if they say, yes, it's definitely a bed bug,
then it means that you have to go in and fumigate it.
It's exterminated in.
Yeah, yeah.
But so these are in hotel rooms.
Yeah.
But can the camera capture anything else
that's happening in the hotel room?
If your penis is the size of a bed bug.
Oh, dear.
Then perhaps.
It was just drawn with that little team
I didn't know, I didn't know
Okay, that's it
That's all of our facts
Thank you so much for listening
If you like to get in touch with us
We are all available on social media
I'm on Instagram at Alex Hbell
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Andy. Me too at Andrew Hunter M
And Anna
You can get in touch with the podcast
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Or on Instagram
At No Such Thing as a fish
Or you can email podcast at QI.com
That's right
and you can also subscribe to Clubfish
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and you can buy merchandise
on my website and all sorts of...
Noseof-thingsafish.com.
Nosea-thingsafish.com.
Thank you so much for listening.
We'll be back again next week.
Goodbye.
