No Such Thing As A Fish - No Such Thing As Free Laundry

Episode Date: February 23, 2023

On Anna's final day before maternity leave, She, Dan, James and Andrew tell some salacious stories from the last 9 years and listen to some of Anna's best bits.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.  Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at nosuchthingasafish.com/apple or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon

Hello and welcome to another episode and no such thing as a fish, a weekly podcast coming to you from the QI offices in Covent Garden. My name is Dan Schreiber. I am sitting here with Andrew Hunter Murray, Anna Tashinsky and James Harkin. And once again, we have gathered round the microphones, but this time for a very special, somewhat sad episode. Poignant. Poignant episode. A very sad announcement that we have to make is that. A happy announcement, no? I think it's a happy announcement. It's very confusing, isn't it?

Anna Tashinsky is leaving the show. So it's a... I'm delighted. Yeah. I'm delighted. Yeah, for nine months. Temporarily. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's going away for a while to think about what she's done. And then she can come back. And what specifically she's done is created a baby. She has. She's been collaborating on another project with another person. It's very low effort. So much low. works in the podcast and I hope that it continues that way.

That it does. Anyway, we thought we would commemorate this tragedy. I think it's a tragedy that she's going. Joyful news. That's obviously happy stuff, yeah. But not for us, not for the listener. Not for damn. Not for me.

I honestly feel like I am secretly dying and no one's told me. And personally it's been leaving drinks tonight. People are you saying, you know what I'm going to say. As someone who's been in this situation or a similar situation, 12 months ago, metaphorically, it's the end. I'm going to be dead inside from now on, aren't I? I'm afraid so. You were gone for two weeks, though, on paternity.

Should we have done a missing, James is off? Do best of? We should say that's what we're here to do. We're here to commemorate our wonderful buddy. A very deafy word. Can we say celebrate? You know? It's not a sad occasion.

It's not a eulogy. Well, yeah. So we thought what we'd do is we would present our three, favorite facts this time, not for it, sort of get used to the idea that she's not here, and share with you some of the greatest moments that she's had over the last nine years of fish. Nine years we've been doing this. It's coming up to it in March of this year. So, yes, we're on the brink. So, I'm going out. You're coming back in nine months and there's a very exciting roster of guests actually

presenting lined up to replace you. So, you know. Wow. That's not used the word replace. Would you jump into a grave that question? Quickly for? Sarah Pasco? I can jump into someone's grave. Is that what you do? Wait. Nothing if you're replacing them.

You're climbing into their coffin with them. You're right. What's the phrase? Dance on their grave. Yeah. What is it called? No. Jump into their bed.

Pick up their shoes. Pick up their shoes. Fill the dead man shoes. I wouldn't piss on their shoes if they were dead. That's the phrase. Is it? No. It's like.

I think it's maternity cover. I think that's the way we're looking for. They haven't even clear. cleaned up the funeral meets. She's not even cold. She's not even cold. I'm sorry, they haven't cleaned up her funeral meats? I think that's actually, I think that's from Hamlet.

Oh no, they. Yeah, no, it is. There's a thing about funeral meats. In the wedding, they reuse the staff for Hamlet's dad's funeral for the wedding to Hamlet's dad's brother. Have you heard of cheesy funeral potatoes? Sounds yummy, though. It's a thing they do in Utah, I think.

Okay. And it's, um, it's basically potatoes. cream, cheese and corn flakes all together. And it's what you have in funerals. And the idea is that it's the kind of thing that a typical Utah family, typical Mormon family would have in the larder. And everyone would have these four or five different things.

I think chicken soup is one of them as well. But you put them all together and it's like the meal that you have at a funeral. Really? Hold on, you don't mix a chicken soup with the potato. You just put it in the chicken soup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then you put corn flakes on top.

We're here basically to have your cheesy funeral potato meats. Nice. Lovely. I think chicken suit's quite an incestive thing to have because that traditionally makes you better. But of course, at a funeral, it's too late for that, isn't it? Absolutely right. Sorry, we've broken the format. We're going to do our three favorite facts about Anna Tashinsky,

each one of us presenting it. And why don't we start with you, James? Okay. Well, my fact this week is that in order to get into the United States, Anna Tashinsky had to tell a fact about a dead president. Oh. And I'm never allowed there again. They let you in, surprisingly, despite it.

They did. It was. Or border control or whatever it is. Yeah, I actually can't remember the context where they made me say it. Well, we'd landed, hadn't we? We'd landed. So originally, we had to get a visa as something like people of exceptional talent or something like that. Yeah, it was like we were Julia Roberts or something.

She wouldn't need one, of course, because she was. is American. So we went to the American embassy and we had to prove to them that we had exceptional talent or they were exceptionally famous or something. And the woman at the window just said, notice these things are fish, I never heard of you. Yeah. That's right. Yeah.

And immediately we were on the back foot. But anyway, eventually we managed to convince them that we should go to America and get a visa to work there so that we could do our show. but when we got to the passport control, the visa said that we were a comedy podcast. And the guy said to you, Anna, as you walked up, he said, well, what do you do? And you said, well, it's kind of about facts.

And he said, well, tell me a fact then. And the only thing you could think about was something about the murder of a president. Yeah. The only thing I can usually think about is President Garfield's anus, but all the more so when you're landing in the home of President Garfield. Yeah. So, yeah, I told him that.

But when President Garfield was assassinated, it was a slow process, and he spent the last month of his life eating through his anus, which I'm sure you're all familiar with. If you remember episode one. Yeah. Second ever fact on the show. How did he react? The border control. President Garfield. Yeah.

There were a lot of funeral potatoes that week. I think he did what most border control people do, which is be very unimpressed and slightly threatening. I think it was like, okay. Go on ahead then, ma'am. Wow, wow. Which is the reaction I've always wanted to all of our podcast facts. Yeah. Do you know, weirdly, this fact about President Garfield was, I remember the exact moment that you told me that fact.

I can remember the exact spot of the office. Yeah, because we were trying, we were getting ready to do what was still a run-through of the show. And we used that segment in the very first episode. But I remember you had sent around your facts and your fact was about President Garfield. And it was to do with the fact that he spent three months on his deathbed and they tried to cure it. I can't remember your wording, but it wasn't great. It was sort of like, we need that. Just a quick note, Hannah.

That's what this is going to be. This is an intervention. What's to think about over the next nine months before you've been holding that in for nine years. I've got a big list. You're going to do this for everyone from episode one. Yeah, we're starting. Let's start. Episode one.

We'll be here. Tell me what I should have. I can't remember what you said to me at the time, but I said to you, I love the story. Is there any other way of expressing it? And you literally in a beat said, you went, oh, what about this? For the last three months of his life, he ate everything through his anus. And I remember, genuinely, it was a bit of a thunderbolt kind of like, oh my God, we're going to have a hit on our hands. It was just so beautifully crafted. Yeah, I really felt it. I'm just telling

the origin story here. What a strange inspirational moment. I don't think a lot of great inventors could empathize with that moment being the one. And that's why we were so nearly called the President Garfield Anus Cust. Well, it's such a shame that we changed the name. To be honest, when we were thinking of our first book, James and I, when we were brainstorming ideas for the title, the President's Anus. I remember the President's Anus coming up quite a bit. bit being tossed about. It feels like... It feels like the beginning of a title,

The President's Anus. It feels like it should be the President's Anus is missing. Or some... Oh, yeah, yeah. One of my favorite things of that tour. So we did a big... It was our first ever American tour.

First and only American tour. I pulled yourself back from saying a big American tour because it was five days. Well, for us, it was super exciting. We were up on... Time Square. We got to play New York. We played Washington.

We stayed in the... Watergate. The Watergate Hotel where they had like, remember they had the, the pencils, like, please steal this pencil and stuff like that, the room keys. He said I was stolen from the Watergate Hotel. Yeah. All the light bulbs, like pillows I brought home. My suitcase is the same thing, weirdly.

And those documents from the White House. Yeah. But my favorite thing of all was when we were staying in New York. And I just remember seeing Anna one morning and her looking unbelievably abused because she was holding a bill in her hand. for a basic bit of laundry that she had sent to the hotel. My God. Which came to $240.

It was more than that. It was more than that. I think it was like $400. Oh my God. And I thought it was complimentary. I just, I don't know. They just put a bag outside your door, didn't they, with laundry written on it? Yeah.

You just put stuff in. I don't know. We always stand Premier Inns when we're in the UK. We're not used to this. So yeah, tossed all my clothes from the whole tour in. And then. you had enough clothes you didn't really need it all done

absolutely not we were going home the next day but sometimes it's lovely to get home with a fresh case of clothes it feels incredible anyway so we made a loss on that tour didn't you? I know I should say just to make you think kindly of these people you're stuck with the next nine months

that they agreed that that could be split that loss over the whole tour group rather than just me taking a hit. Yeah yeah and I think I think the tour pretty much dead on even. Yeah, right. But we would have been in the black if it had the...

I owe you all £100. Yeah, yeah. I think, no, I think I didn't pipe up because when I went back to England, I bought so many books that my overweight money allowance was something like $1,000 or something. It was ridiculous. We didn't take the hit for that, though, did we? I think he might have. I think we might have done, yeah.

Oh, if I'm going to take the laundry hit, I was... Oh, my God. Andy, we should have gone for the hookers and the cage, like we said. I only ate one meal a day in America because I was so concerned about making a loss We made him walk all the way from Boston to New York I took one pair of pants And I wore it inside, outside, back to front, upside down

I know I was on tour with, you know, Elton John Oh Yeah, so sorry about that Wow But yeah, didn't get evicted from the country No, what's the call when you get evicted? Deported Deported didn't get deported for talking about President

potential assassination, so actually helped us get in. So if you are trying to get into America, give it a go. Okay, well, the point of this show, I think, is that we're going to play some of Anna's best bits. It's a very short show. It should be a very short show. So let's do a little bit now, beginning with President Garfield's anus. Okay, fact number two, Anna, this one's yours.

Yeah, so for the last month of his life, US President James Garfield ate everything through his anus. claim, Anna. We will get letters from a lot of people here. Yeah. I mean, I wasn't there, but this is what the doctors tell me. No, so James Garfield was, as everyone

obviously knows, shot in July 1881, and he lived for a further 80 days. He was shot in the small of his back and once in the arm, so doctors now say he would have been out of hospital about two or three days later. But obviously, because medicine was not as

quite as advanced as it is now. In 1881, they just invited, like, dozens of doctors to his bedside who all prodded around trying to find this bullet. They didn't know where the bullet had gone in his body. So they gathered around, prodded about, made him worse and worse. He stopped being able to eat. And obviously, if you stopped being able to consume food in those days, they just shoved it up your ass.

And so that's what they did. So does that work? It does not work, no. It was widely discredited in the early 30s. I think you get about an eighth of the nutrition from some of the food. but there's some food that you can't absorb at all. What I love is the list of foods that he was fed in this manner. Beef, bouillon.

Egg yolks, milk. Egg yolks. Wait, so. Go on, guys. Egg yolks was only true for a while, because I was reading the doctor at the time, his report on it. So, yeah, he was fed egg yolks for a bit of time, and then all the surgeons complained that it was causing annoying and offensive platus.

And so they ceased feeding him an egg yolks. That did the trick, apparently. They stopped it because it was annoying them. Not the other way. Guys, I'd be quite happy to eat an egg with my mouth. That's all right by you guys. Apparently, it's illegal to move sheep in whales until they've been checked to see whether they carry traces of the fallout from Chernobyl. Really?

Yeah. On this particular subject, I've got a question for you guys. Oh, yeah. Why shouldn't you buy trousers from the northern Ukraine? I don't know. Why shouldn't you buy trousers from the northern Ukraine? train. Chernobyl fallout.

Ah. Ladies and gentlemen, that is the joke. Yeah. Just as a little inside bit of behind the scenes information here, Anna has consistently, for the last, what, 14 podcasts, said that same joke, and we've cut it out every single episode. Jane has refused to have it in the podcast. This is a day.

And you will not hear it in this one either, unless someone else said it. It's the best joke ever. Ambrose Paray, who was a face. as doctor in the 15th century, saw a beggar in Paris who was begging him for money and who did so by, I don't actually know if we can put this out, it's so gross, who did so by, she begged by lifting her skirts to reveal a prolapsed rectum. It was a horrid sight, he says. It was over half a foot long leaking post-light fluid over her legs and garments. But his companion then attacked the woman and said, you're a big faker. You don't look sick enough to have a prolapse rectum.

You have to be pretty confident that you're right in that situation. I know prolact rectum. And that, madame. Well, he beat this woman to the ground, and eventually she was forced to reveal that it was actually the prolapse rectum of an ox that she put inside her. So it was actually a prolapsed rectum.

It was, and it wasn't prolapsed. Well, I bet he felt pretty silly then, didn't he? That's not a human prolapse rectum. It was the prolapse rectum of an ox. You know that she'd put up her own bonnard. I think if you've gone to the trouble of doing that, I really think you've earned your 50 cents or whatever. Definitely.

But the lifting of her skirts as well. She could just have a sign saying, proan obstruction, please help. Wait, so if you saw someone with a sign, that's probably how she started. She's like, no one is buying this at all. Except Andy I can show it to you

No need Absolutely believe you The thing is though I would pay I would pay 50p Not to see a pro rouse director That is a fair point She should have done that

We should move on When they were building the New York subway The guys who were building it Were called sand hogs Because they dug through lots of sand And I was reading a newspaper report from 1916 and it was about this guy

called Marshall Maybe who was working in the tunnel to like dig the subway and there was a pocket of compressed air which suddenly kind of escaped so he's like got this big shield up in the tunnel in front of him and they're using this shield to like push forward and make the tunnel bigger

and he said he saw an 18 inch pocket of air suddenly appear and it sucked him towards it he was sucked into it he was blasted up through the ground So he was blasted up through 12 feet of riverbed And then blasted up through the river itself And then hurled up 25 feet in the air above the river

He wasn't grinding through earth 12 feet of earth Yeah, that's what riverbeds are made of Yeah It's less plough, it's more plausible for him to be blasted through 12 feet of earth And 12 feet of concrete or steel or whatever No, no, no, I was thinking was it just a tunnel Like it was a hole that he was blasted through It just happened to be going to it.

So here we go, let me There's a whole interview with him and everything There's a nice interview with his wife saying, it's okay, he's fine, he's looking forward to going back to work. This is what the New York Times said at the time. There's a pocket of compressed air to prevent the river's bottom from caving in. So they have some, I don't know how that works.

But somehow, it happened, guys, and this compressed air got loose, and he saw an 18-inch hole, and before he knew it, he was being sucked towards it. Two of his colleagues actually also got sucked in, and they did perish. And he survived by putting his arm out in front of him

and blasting up through the riverbed. I don't believe it. 12 feet of riverbed and then got shot through and then out in the air. Then there's enough force left over shot through the river itself and then yeah, 25 feet.

25 feet. In New York Times, it's a very record. What year is it? Yeah, at what date was this? February 1916, all right, not April. Yeah, it was a little bit insane. But there you go, there's a picture of the guy. Pictures don't lie.

What, mid-flight? Not mid-flight. That's extraordinary. Did you say that was in New York? Yeah, it was soft ground, so that's why they were called the sand. Oh, well, if it was soft ground, I see, yeah. It was still a river bed, though, wasn't it? I had 25 feet after 12 beds of...

And a river. And a river. I don't know how it possibly happened. So there was a woman in South Korea recently who was eating squid, so we all eat squid. We call it Kalimari for reasons I don't understand. But she was eating some boiled squid in a restaurant and she suddenly felt a pain in her tongue. And it turned out the squid wasn't quite dead and it was a male squid and it had deposited its sperm packet into her tongue. So she felt horrible pain in her tongue and then felt lots of stuff crawling around inside her tongue and had to go to hospital.

and they took out a whole bunch of sperm. And apparently this does happen a bit. Like there's been reports in Japan of it happening. That's so fucked up. I will never fucking get that shit again. Oh my God. Fuck it out. Oh.

Fuck that. Vegetarianism, here you come. I don't think we've mentioned this before. This year, KFC have released a novel for the first time. What? It's a novel starring the first time. Colonel and it's a Mills and Boone-style romance and it's called Tender Wings of Desire. He is a sexy man.

Well, we ascertained before we started recording this podcast that you quite fancy Richard Nixon. Oh yeah. So you're tasting. How did we miss that when we got to that? We didn't ascertain that. That's warping of the truth. Oh, I'm sorry. I find him not unattractive, given that there was an...

But for Andy, that's pretty much someone saying you're attractive. That's the best I can hope for these days. I'm not physically repulsed by him. Great, date. He said in an interview that something like, I know how I look, I'm under no illusions about my appearance, so I'll have to be good in other ways. And I read that interview and I thought, well, you don't know.

He is good in other ways, isn't he? Lots of ways that Richard Nixon is a very good one. What would you say? What are your top five ways? Which is a great guy, Hannah? When British author William Haslett died, his landlady was so keen to relet his room that she hid his body under the bed

while she showed new tenants around. And he's still there under that bed, isn't he? He's still there, yeah. But he was a big deal, and people used to go just to the Hazlitt Hotel just because that's where he lived. Seamus Heaney used to go there, obsessed with him,

and they would have meetups there just to be able to be in the sort of presence of the location of this great person who everyone seems to have forgotten, except it turns out you, Anna. I mean, he's a famous. people know William has it is but I did happen to take a book of his essays on my

gap here which I know is I just told these guys backstage and I know one of those guys was going to mention it so I'm going to get in there which drug were you taking when you were reading it the essays themselves were my drug James what am I on I'm on chapter three I mean they didn't come in chapters but whatever

You know in shopping centres where the fish eat your dead skin. I've had that once, and all I could think while I was having it was reincarnation and just looking at the going, what the fuck did you do in your last life that you have come back to eat my feet? I had it once, and I think I've told you guys this, but I had it once in Cambodia,

and they had to ask me to take my feet out of the pond, because you put your feet in with, like, five other people, and my feet is so disgusting that they were all coming to my feet. And no one else was getting their money's worth. It's a real, really low point. Pride-wise, me. Okay, it's time for fact number two about Anna Tashinsky, and that is Andy. Well, my fact is a crowdsourced fact.

Yeah. So, as you know, there's a Discord. If you don't know Discord, it's a website where you chat about stuff. Is that what it is? why did you bother explaining if you have no idea it's a forum it's a forum to chat there is a fish discord

the fish cord and as part of Anna's commemoration episode morning morning episode I think yeah morning sickness hey oh

Dan I think Dan you Dan you asked for some of Anna's best bits and ask what the listeners you know, Fish Fans wanted to hear again. I mean, various bits. A compilation of Anna saying her own surname correctly.

When do you say your own surname? Yeah, I don't know if you can make a compilation out of that. You can certainly make a compilation of the evolution of my pronunciation of your surname. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people got quite sad when you evolved from pronouncing it. Well, some people said wrongly, Trasinski to Shinski. Well, yeah.

And I always say that it was a bit of a, it was a bit unfair on me because you were right here to tell me I was saying it wrong for about six years and no one did. No one did. Your dad didn't. Your mom didn't. Anytime any of your family came to our show, no one would say, by the way, do you think you might be able to pronounce the surname correctly? No one said anything. And yours was a surname that I specifically, if I would say, like, next fact is James. Next fact is Andy. I would say, next fact, Chisinski. I would always say your surname. So it was always coming up. But I think, do you remember, Dermot-O'Leary really liked it? Yeah. Because then he had the Shreiber and Chisinski cops maybe who were trying to find the president's an

New York cops yeah we got to get to the bottom of this big laundry bill tuczynski oh

nice yeah what's your pronunciation I say Tashinsky but you can also say Tijinsky or a lot of people do say Tresinsky

and it's weird that people assume that's a way you could say it it's quite different starting with a TT yeah you don't call it

a charyadactyl do you don't I don't know or a charmigan but I should say for actual Polish listeners that it's Tazinsky so you're supposed to say

the P So I don't pronounce it right either. There we go. And I sort of should also be Tazinska, because I'm a girl. Oh, no way. Yeah, I am. What? I don't remember this suggestion for a clip to play.

Episode 3-4-2, no such thing as a presidential fight club. Anna refers to a child as a wimp because he had asthma. And that child, ladies and gentlemen, grew up to the podcaster, Andrew Hunter-Money. There's probably some context that I haven't seen the reports of that myself. and I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation but I'm going to refer it to a committee who will investigate. And you'll end up being suspended for nine months.

It's perfect. It's a perfect crime. It's so funny what people remember. Like one person wrote, I can't remember which episode. So this is them, like they've literally banked this in their head. I can't remember which episode,

but Anna calling Mottonis Titanus Muti Tootis Mouti Tuti lives rent free in my brain. Muti Titi. I remember that is. Yeah, yeah. I don't remember this bit at all, and neither does the person who said it. I don't remember the episode, but it was about some female animal drinking semen,

and Anna was like, yeah, relatable. Sometimes the tap is just too far away. Don't recall that. It's actually just a few times at uni and terrible hangovers. There's a cup by the bed. What are you going to do? Fill me up love before you go. Oh, my God.

But then do go. I mean you've had a lot of you've had a lot of feedback about your kind of quite dirtyish potty mouth I would say I feel like I'm the least potty I think people just notice it more when you do it Yeah I think that's it's everyday sexism

Well there's a bit of actually there's a bit of a debate Even on the Discord about you Anna So one person says If you go back and listen to the first year's episodes Anna's so restrained and polite in comparison and then she gets comfortable and the sarcasm starts to flow. Okay. Now someone has replied to that saying,

I'm on episode 39. She has never been polite. I think there is one episode. I remember editing it where you're polite for about two thirds of the episode and then for the final third of the episode, you just go completely off the rails. Really? And it was the episode when you drank a pint of champagne before the show.

Oh, that was an early one, one of our first live show. I think it might have been our actual first live show or maybe our second. It was a Christmas one and there was an ace is an episode. Aces and Aces and Ais. In North London, that's right. And you can really, you can pinpoint

the exact second that the champagne hit. What's confusing is that I'm sure Dan and I drunk pints of champagne for that. And I also am sure that Dan is more of a lightweight

than I am. Yeah, but the difference is that Dan is never coherent. You can't tell. Yes. That's a beauty of this act. I'm bulletproof.

I'm drunk now. No one's noticed. Episode 261. Oh yeah. Dan's talking about Scott of the Antarctic. taking two gramophones with him. Anna, he was a fucking idiot, wasn't he?

You've got to stand by that. It's not surprising he died. You know, didn't take two gramophones. Amundsen. Admondson. Actually, I hate saying that name so much. You said it quite weird. I know.

Amundsen. Amundsen. Yeah. A monson. I don't know why I see it coming up in my head. Is this how you feel down with all words? Yeah. Yeah.

I do. I see them coming up on the page and you've got to make a decision. You're either going to try and pronounce it correctly, get it wrong, and chicken out and get it wrong just for that. Or you just got to run through it. You just got to, you got to. It reminds me. And I know this is a podcast about Anna. But it does remind me of the first audiobook that we did, which was just after you'd had your first baby and were very short on sleep. And Dan kept pronouncing the word January, February. Like six times Yeah Yeah yeah We're like Dan you said February Can you just do it again Yeah yeah

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah February It was remarkable It was really something And we had to change the whole article

At the end Didn't we do something that happened in February I used to love those books Because they were the books of the year And it was like Things that happened between January and December that year Obviously the book came out in November

So it's usually January to September October but Andy used to always come in with things that had happened the previous year and Anna would be like, no, this was last year and he's like, yeah, but it was late 20. Come on, it was December. My reasoning here is that you're doing one of these books a year. Each book has to have a 12-month catchment area.

Yeah. It's the book of, not the calendar year, not the calendar year, but the school year or the financial year. I don't know. The financial year. That's right, the school year. You start in September. Everyone understands.

Otherwise, you're knocking out a third of your own material. Why didn't we name it the book of the school year actually? The book of the financial year would have really set those sales rocketing. Have we got one last one, Andy? Anna is among the 10% of people who can lick their own nose. What? We did a we did a. Oh my God.

She's doing it. She's doing it. We did a fact about Buddha and how Buddha could stick his tongue through into his ear. That was it. Yeah. And then and then you. showed us that. Yeah.

And had lots of other stuff that I don't have, though. Weird body part anomalies. I also actually have a lot, but they're less sort of magical than Buddhas and more like get medical help. That's good though, touching your nose. I can't do that.

Your tongue barely gets out of your mouth. I think I'm tongue-tied. Oh, really? And that's why you're so bad at breastfeeding, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. But I'm still trying. Yeah.

Good on you. This will get you there. Oh. That's a bristly. bristley experience, Dan, you're very bearded. That's a rough. Yeah, it's not good for the... Some breast rush happening there.

Highly sanded boobs up here. The nipples almost gone altogether. Just a flat... Funny hell. Potato. Flat potato. Can we ask more of Anna, please? Classic Chazinsky.

Okay, well, let's... I'll have a look on the archives. Let's see if we can find some of the things that you've mentioned in the next little Anna compilation. My fact is that the way to recognize the Buddha is to look out for his webbed feet, a tongue that can reach his ears and withdrawn genitalia. That's a good excuse on a date. No, no, no, it's not small.

I'm just, I'm the Buddha. I'm the reincarnated Buddha. Oh, yeah, then show me your tongue, because I could get on board with this. I read that female Beatles, they quench their thirst. through sex, and it's because of the semen and the fluids in the semen, because they get very dehydrated, and so when they have sex, it's actually just like having a drink for them. That's the reason we all do it, Dan. Sometimes the tap is too far away.

A few people who were farmers who were involved in castrating lambs when they were born, got very ill very quickly, and there was 12 people who got... ill. But they worked out that two of them got ill because they were castrating with an old method that still goes on these days, not completely, but in the 1800s all the time. They castrate using their teeth. So these are, yeah, these are humans who go, and two of these guys were castrating these lambs with their teeth and they got very ill. I mean, one of my best friends has done that in Australia. Really?

Yes. Did they get ill? Well, he's pretty insane, but he's not sick. I think he is sick And they go by on a conveyor belt And you lie underneath them And you just whip him off one by one What?

Yeah Well you come up like jaws Like you just get Bide off their balls Is your friend Australian? He lived in Australia for a year Well he was British Yeah

Feels like they kind of saw him coming Didn't they? Yeah Yeah we all do this mate This guy looks like I'll bite the balls off anything I just don't get wrestling It doesn't make any sense to me.

We've covered it before on this podcast, and I find it impossible to research, because everything you read about it, you're like, is this real? Did this really happen? The confusion of real sport and fake acting is bewildering. Like there's this fight between him and Hulk Hogan, which was this really famous fight,

and apparently it was super controversial. It was in 1988, and there was a referee, a famous referee called Dave Hebner, who was refereed wrestling matches and he happened to have an identical twin who they tracked down for this match The referee?

Yeah, the referee had an identical twin. He didn't really, I think. No, he did, he did really. I've seen the actual pictures. Either he did or there's some amazing photoshopping going on. But he had this identical twin and so, right, Andre the Giant's agent got Dave who was supposed to referee the match,

locked him in a cupboard and then bribed Earl, his identity, twin to referee the game instead. And he did. And then he made Andre the Giant one. And then Dave broke out of his closet. And then him and his identical twin brother had a big fight afterwards in front of the crowds. This is the weirdest conversation.

I really want to hear Anna do the commentary of WWF. I don't understand any of this. Is that real? Oh, my God. There's storylines. You go to the theatre all the time. Are you standing up going, what the fuck is going on here? No, no, no, no.

Because in the write-ups of the things, It doesn't say, and there was an incredibly controversial moment when Hamlet's mother remarried Hamlet's uncle and the audience can be. You're like, okay, this is a story. Whereas in the Wikipedia page, it's not clear. Was it controversial or was it all made up? It's all made up. It's all made up.

Then why is it controversial? It's controversial in the world of wrestling. Which is a fake world? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Now you're getting it. No.

It is weird how it's presented as true. You know, normally if it was plays, there is a synopsis. Normally when you go out of the play, the thing doesn't keep happening outside. No, but... I just think it's amazing that we found the edge of Anna's comfort zone. Yeah. I never thought we'd get there. Who would know it was pro wrestling is fake.

The Town Quire Championships, I just think this is so amazing that these kind of things have the budget for this. I've been there once. What? Did not place. What's the last ones? The one I went to was in either Lancashire or Yorkshire, I can't remember. Cool, the last one was in Bermuda, so I feel like... Do you ever get the feeling you chose the wrong year?

The Town Cry is good. Anyway, this year, it's the first time a Brit has won the Town Quarry Championship. It's very exciting. Mark Wiley beat off 24 other 5xas. They were like, oh yay! These days. He actually said, For legal reasons, we have to correct that.

So this guy won over and above, 20 for other contestants. What he won was an awful lot of rum, he said, which I need it for medicinal purposes. He explained which is understandable after the trauma he'd undergone. Okay, it's time for fact number three, and that is my fact. My fact this week is that we're sitting here in the Covent Garden office. This is a important room to us, and it's the last time that the four of us are ever going to be in this room together doing the podcast, because Anna's going off and the offices are moving. But it's also important for another reason, because in 2022, Anna and I set a Guinness World Record right here in this room. We became the world record holders of the longest anyone has ever played.

Keep the balloon in the air, tennis game between two people. That was amazing. In history. I remember that three weeks when you were doing that, it was just because we were coming and we'd have to work around you. Record the podcast. Oh my God, it was so hard. It was tough, wasn't it?

And not sleeping to that lot. I mean, the amount of Red Bull that we had to... Yeah. By the third week, I just was really surprised we were still doing it. Yeah, so that was the rehearsal. When we actually did it, it was 80 minutes we lasted. 80 minutes for keeping a balloon in there. And do you still have that record?

We've been beaten. Oh, no. Yep, we've been. beaten, someone beat us by eight seconds. Weird, I would argue, an unfair advantage. They had a giant balloon. It was like the size of a beach ball. Oh, yeah. It should be a restriction on balloon size. Well, you should have read

the small print. I should have read the small print, yeah. But one thing we did manage to do is make it into a physical Guinness World Record book. So there's a picture of me and Anna in the Guinness World Records 2023. That's not us. What? What? That's... Oh, there. Sorry, I'll get that bloat below.

Who was the chicken in your mind when I was... A man holding a chicken. What about, is that Irving Finkel above you? That is Irving Finkel. And what does it say? Oldest depiction of a ghost. Oldest depiction of the ghost.

You're really on the best page here, right? Well, what you'll notice as well is, I'm responsible for that ghost getting the Guinness World Record. Yeah. Tell us how? I took Craig Glenday, who is the Guinness World Records Editor-in-Chief, to the British Museum to meet the world's oldest ghost to give it a Guinness World Records. I wonder if you're the only person in that book, Dan, who's got two world records. That's possible. Is you same Bolton, then?

The same world record as Irving Finkel. You didn't find the oldest ghost. No, no. I found the guy with the old ghost. I just, you know. I'm sorry, Dan, can I just check this book? Can I just have a quick look at it? So this is, this is, um,

Guinness World Records, 23. Yeah. And it's about an event that happened in 2022. Yeah. Oh. And this is maybe the most successful book in history. Oh. Okay.

Maybe it's all right sometimes. Yeah. But so we did that. We did that here in this room. This ghost was depicted two and a half. thousand years ago. Yes, yes, the world's oldest ghost is not going to have appeared in 2023.

But yeah, it's, and Anna, that's for you because I know you don't have a copy. So I want you to have, because obviously you don't have a copy. You're no interested in this kind of stuff. So, yeah, so that we were forcing a copy onto you.

I mean, we did, we cheated, didn't we. We didn't cheat. We didn't cheat. Oh, hello. What are you talking about? We didn't cheat. Well, we're friends with Craig,

who's fantastic, who organizes all the Guinness stuff. And he gave us a tip off. that no one's tried to break this category, but it is a category. So as long as you get over an hour. So actually, we went for 20 minutes more than we needed to,

which showed a lot of commitment because it was pub time by then. It's right, yeah, and Anna drank the whole way through. There's a big glass of wine in her hand. I think I had a beer, but it was, I can't quite remember now. It was daunting.

It was very scary. It's very scary keeping a balloon in the air, wasn't it? Do you remember the, like, the... It's terrifying. What is riding on it, really? I mean, if you... There was a bomb inside.

If it touched... the ground. You literally could have just tried again the next day or the next hour. Do you know how tedious is it? It's something that was just Dan Schreiber for almost two hours. The record should have been the person who spent the most time with Dan Shriver. Even the ghost pissed off after 20 minutes. I'll tell you what, there's been a lot of adventures where Anna has been the kind of

the butt of the story, I would say, to an extent. The annuals, the Garfield's Ains of the story. The ass. the ass. We will be missing the ass soon. What are you talking about? I just, I get a bit upset because I wasn't there for some of my favorite ones and James was. James, you two have had quite a few adventures. Well, there was the time that Anna flipped over her bike by canal knocked her teeth out and you had to rescue her outside a pub because I wouldn't say I rescued her. I took her to the hospital. Yeah, that was very nice of you because I didn't have a phone on me or anything and so I had to wait

for a passerby to come. Who do you think knock you off the bike? But then also. Well, can I just say on that? Because it was quite funny. Because we're in A&E. And we were just sat there waiting for you to be seen. And you'd just come back from Ireland. You've been on holiday in Ireland.

Oh, we'll remember. Yeah. And you were telling me a story about what had happened. And for some reason, you'd upset someone who ran a shop. Oh, my God. And you upset this woman so much that she started shouting at you saying, who the hell do you think you are? Yeah.

Right. And when you told me the story, you said it in a really thick Irish. accent. I could do me to, I could do it now. Well, let's not do that. But you said it just as the doctor was coming from behind you to say Anna Tashinsky, where are you? And so all he saw was me and you, you with your face covered in blood and you yelling at me, who the hell do you think you are? And we just look like some kind of domestic abuse couple. Yes, we're working on our issues. Just fix my jaw. Let's get out of here. He would have heard then you go to an English accent and think, okay, she's seriously wobbly, something's happening.

We need to keep her in. She's got to have foreign accent syndrome. Who's the president? Or the T-Socke, you know. But the best story, and I don't know if you're going to say it, I just want to tear it up and say, I hope you'll say it. And it was the regret of my life I wasn't there for it, is when James and Anna went to a university in order to tell the students, Canterbury, and you stayed the night in a hotel,

and Anna got a bit drunk. I don't think I should tell the story. I don't know. I'll tell you what I remember of it, which is that James and I went and, yeah, Alan Davies was doing a show at Canterbury. I think he just got like an honorary degree or something. Yes, he had. So he was being interviewed and it was great. And so we went for some moral support, me, James, Alan and John Lloyd.

Alan went to support himself. Do you know what I'm going to come along for moral support? Afterwards we had quite a lot to drink in some hotel bar and we were staying in this place that was actually next to the cathedral which was awesome. It was almost like part of the cathedral, wasn't it? It was kind of appended to it. Certainly a place where I wouldn't do anything.

That God might judge adversely. So great night. I guess it's about three o'clock. We sort of went to, retired to bed and I have this thing often. Bloody hell. I didn't know that. I thought this all happened around 11pm, 1130. Three.

Woo. Andy's always stopped at that bit of the story. Just jaw on the floor. Can't hear anything else. Okay, go on, go on. So I really love looking round places and sneaking into places that maybe I'm not supposed to be in. And like disused rooms and buildings and sometimes used buildings. Whatever.

And so I wasn't really tired. And I thought I'd go for a wonder. So I remember first of all pushing open a lot of doors in my house. hotel corridor to see what opened, managing to get into a sort of weird garden out of a fire escape and then climbing over a fence into the cathedral kind of air, the cathedral, then wandering around there. And then what happens often with me is you're drunk and you're in this place, you're not allowed to be in and you're like, well, I guess I'll go back now. So climb back over the fence, went back upstairs and I pushed another door in the hotel and ended up in this

lecture theatre where I've fannied around for a bit, looked in all the cupboards. trying to see what I could see really. You found a lot of candy, didn't you? I found a lot of sweet. I found a massive bag of different coloured sweets. And I thought what would be so amusing would be if I took these all back to my room and I just took all the green ones out

and then I just put it back in the room and that's going to freak the shit out of whoever comes to get the sweets next time. And also green's my favourite colour of sweet. So I spent about half an hour in my room with a huge bag taking out all the green sweets. And then I went to put the bag of sweets back

because I don't want to just steal people's sweets, of all people's sweets. And then as I was leaving the room, having replaced the bag of sweets, I just saw this massive whiteboard at the front of the room. And so I thought, okay, I'll just grab a marker pen. I grabbed a marker pen and I wrote in big letters, yippie kai motherfuckers,

in capitals on this whiteboard. And then that, It was actually ideal timing because I heard someone coming down the corridor and do a bit of an oi. And what are you doing? And so then I leged it and it was a member of staff. So I legged it back to my room and he sort of chased me. So then you went to bed, right? I've been asleep this whole time.

Job done. I woke up the next morning to check out. And you were like a naughty school girl sat in the corner of the reception being bollicked by someone. Yeah. It transpired. It was actually very unlucky. because it hadn't been a whiteboard. It had been a built-in white screen that was part of the wall.

I'd written on it in indelible, unremovable ink, large letters, yippikai motherfuckers. A diehard quote. I do remember that from the night before when I was chased by the security guard? I was going, it's a quote from diehard to excuse it. Like, I'm not saying Yipikai motherfuckers. It's a quote. It's a quote.

Anyway, the push comes to shut. the next morning at 9 a.m. There was a church group who had booked that room. That did seem to be the truth of the matter. They walked in. Someone desperately scrubbing off. They couldn't scrub it off. They had to cover it up.

They had to cover it up with a curtain. Oh, my goodness. And I was charged a small amount of money for the repairs to the room. Less, in fact, probably than your one small bag of laundry in New York was. Pretty good going. It was the fun. funniest thing that I've ever experienced. Being on the train coming back and you having to ring up our boss to tell them because

I think it had come off the company credit cards or something. So you knew that they were going to find out. No, they'd told our accountant at work. So actually the first thing I knew was, just empathise for a minute with me, please. I'd gone to bed incredibly drunk about four in the morning. My phone rang at 8 a.m. And I saw it was Liz, our lovely accountant. And imagine the heart sinking when I saw Liz.

name come up. I thought, I know what's that? I've been rumbled. And yeah, I picked up and the hotel had indeed called her. Yeah, it was tough. I thought it was going to be fired actually. We laugh now, guys, but this could have been the end of the podcast. Because I remember pretty much all the way from like, let's say, well, for about half an hour on the train back, you're like, I'm going to get fired. What are we going to do? Yeah. There'll be no more podcast because I won't be able to do this anymore. Yeah, yeah. I'm probably going to prison. And to hell. Let's not forget the cathedral is right next door. Yeah. That's great a story. story ever told.

Anyway, good luck getting those stories out of these so-called guests you're having on. Is Sarah Pasco going to do that? Yeah, she probably would. She would have been up for it. Oh, well, let's have, why don't we do one more batch of Best of Anna and just hear a bit more from the greatest hits from the last nine years, Anna Tushinsky? I was having a look at the Reverend Richard Coles's autobiography, or biography. And he was, he was saying, it was just a throwaway line that I then looked into.

He was saying that a lot of vickers have funny names, and he was saying he knew someone who insisted on everyone, even bishops calling them the Reverend Gazz. And so then I thought, I wonder what funny names there have been in the church over the years. There's this blog, the blog of St. Chrysostom's Church in Manchester, and it's really good. You know when people put proper effort into quite an obscure thing?

And there's a piece on funny names of church leaders throughout history, and there are some such good ones. So I like this anecdote, which is Henry Joy Fines Clinton, who was a rector in the early 20th century, who went to see the Bishop of London, and the bishop said, take a chair, Clinton, to which he replied, it's Fines Clinton.

And the bishop said, in that case, take two. And so I think that's funny from a bishop. It's a while over. It's bishop humour. It's bishop humour. Okay, we won't get him on the podcast. This was his audition tape. And I thought,

Oh, come on. Give us more zingers. Right, wow. Okay. Okay, what about this? The very reverend Gonville-Obey French Bay Tag,

but French is spelled with a small F and two of them. Is that important for the anecdote? There's no anecdote. It's just the word French spells slightly different day. No, Anna, we want you to tell us

every single one you found. This is what, This is literally all I've got now. Liz is not very amusing names. Okay, Father John Brabazen Brabazen Lotha. Come on. It's two Brabison. Brabison.

Brabison. Oh my God. I'm just picturing Jimmy Carr at the Hammersmith Apollo. Your next act is a fucking killer act. She's got some amazing anecdotes. Anna Tushinsky, everybody. We've got Father Page Turner. We've got Father Pickles.

Page Turner, open with Page Turner. That's great. Father Pickles is funny as well. I'll reorder the set. Father Calfel. Father Christmas. Okay. So that's the one I should stick with, Father Christmas.

I don't think stick with any of it. Okay. Have you guys heard of St. Andrew Undershaft? I can't believe. You just said a name way funnier than Anna's 20. Just upstage the full day of work. I'm so sorry. Delving into church. I'm so sorry.

This is right under your nose the whole time. On the subject of people being allergic to things, I went on to... I continued my search. And I went to Yahoo answers, because people often ask questions. The best side on the internet. This was the question. So my girlfriend is allergic to almost... every animal you'd find in a petting zoo.

If she inhales air that is around a horse, she can be hospitalized. Now, she loves giraffes. Does anyone think she'd be allergic to them too? I was thinking of surprising her on a birthday with a trip to the local zoo to pet a giraffe. And the reply, the top-rated reply, because that's how it works on Yahoo!

The most vote to reply, if she's allergic to almost every animal, I guarantee you the zoo will contain more than just giraffes. Why don't you do this? something less stupid. So where did you take her in the end, I did I? Britain's leading female

table tennis player is this woman, this girl called Tintin-Hoe. And do you guys, can you guess why she's called that? She got a quiff, Tintin. That's why I was I was doing Tintin. No. I've got a small dog called Snowy.

Confusingly, it's not related to the character of Tintin. Wait, she hangs out with an old fisherman called Captain Haddock. Again, it's not like a She has a pair of twins that she hangs out with called the Thompson twins. You can't just stop us making Tintin jokes, Anna, immediately. Her father is called Herjé. Right.

As I have made quite clear, it's not related to Tintin, and there must be other avenues you can pursue. She's Belgian. She's Belgian. I'm just going to tell you, okay? No, no, no, no, no. I feel like we're close. She's made of 10.

Hey, he's found something different. But incorrect. No, it's because her dad is very. obsessed with table tennis. And it actually sounds kind of weird. Sorry, hang on. It's coming, it's coming. I was so sure you're going to say her dad is obsessed with Tintin.

I wish I hadn't brought this up. He's obsessed with table tennis. And the initials of table tennis are T-T-T. So we called her Tintin. And in fact, her brother is called Ping. And she said there was, it was between her being called Tintin and her being called Pong. when she was born. Wow.

And so she says that she is delighted that she didn't get bombed. You can't have two kids to call them Ping and Pong. The social services will get involved. You would think. Abba? Oh yeah. In 1976, they had the number one spot for 39 weeks. And after 12 weeks of it, their version of Top of the Pops just stopped showing the music video

because you've seen it for 12 weeks, guys. In Australia, that was. Yeah, fans absolutely right. And that was. and that was on the Australian version of Top of the Pops, which was called Countdown. Yeah. When you say fans rioted.

Did I say rioted? Yeah. I meant were furious. One complaint was registered with the ABC. No, but genuinely, look, when they toured, one mother ran and she put her baby down on the road so that their tour caravan would stop, and she could get an autographed.

There was a hotel which cut up their bed sheets after they'd left, and they sold it via newspaper alerts. Oh, they did that all the time? time. Yeah, they did that with the Beatles as well. Did they? I've got about six of them. Not the baby thing, though. I just want you to know we will not succumb to that kind of blackmail. If there's a baby in front of our tour bus, we're going straight over it.

I think that's fish policy, right? Yeah. It's very important to get that clear from the outset. That's good. It's very controversial the way they vote in the Grammys. Oh yeah. Because it's, well, until this year. It was super secret.

It sounds quite exciting. And I think what used to happen was winners were decided by this like 12,000 strong recording academy bunch of voters. But then I think partly because the awards just kept going so wrong and they just kept giving it to weird

people. They had to change the rules and I think the straw that broke the camel's back came in the early 90s when over an album of the year was up and Bruce Springsteen's born in the USA was released and Princess Purple All Rain was released and Lionel Richies can't slow down one. And everyone said, we didn't like that.

That's not as good as the other two. And so they formed a secret committee, which basically goes through all the 12,000 votes and takes out the duds. Because actually, you would think that having a larger group, 12,000 would be more likely to give you a democratic answer, right? Yeah. But a democratic answer isn't necessarily the best answer, James. Is that not right? Okay. That's my view.

I have my one-way ticket to Russia. This has just come through. Anyway, people got quite pissed off by the secret committee because no one knew how they voted or why they voted. And there's someone called The Weekend, I think. Oh, the weekend. The weekend. Oh, right.

Well, it's spelled the Weekend. Yeah, yeah. This show has certainly weakened over the years, hasn't it? Yeah, so it's felt like weekend. Anyway, but without any. So he... Well, with Tewies. But not three.

Anyway, the weekend got annoyed that he hadn't got nominated. I think he pronounced the WECN. Ladies and gentlemen, the weekend. I just, I want a new podcast where we give Anna the name of all the banness that are in the charts and see if she can pronounce them. They've asked me to read out the nominations next year. I'm quite nervous now. Lil Nas the 10th? I did another one.

Nine of the Little Nazes. I know how to artificially inseminate a cow based on researching for this podcast. Cool. So I think 75% of dairy cows in this country, when they have to be inseminated, they get inseminated but just by semen rather than the actual bull. And for some reason, I found myself reading this really in-depth farmer's guide to how to do it. And what I didn't realize was, so you get a seaman gun,

which you put the semen in. Imagine you bring your semen gun to a gunfight. Oh! Damn it. You bring your semen gun to the insemination fight, but what you do is you have to... So there are two entries into a cow. So as much as humans...

Yeah. You've got the... Front. Oh, sorry. There are three now. Sorry, there are three. We're in Devon. It tells me you're not the biggest expert in this room

on the number of ways into a cow. What? I know the people have never known all these secret ways, but there were two entries... There were two entries into the back of a cow, officially. And so, you know, one is the rectum, as we all have. Stop, Professor, let me write this down. Children, will you be quiet?

You've got the rectum, and then you've got the sex tubes, and they're different... All right, the cervix. But what you do is, amazingly, when you're insimulating a cow, you obviously have to stick the gun in the cervix but the way you navigate the gun into

the uterine horns as they're called is you have to put your other arm that's not holding the gun into the rectum and so you it's so amazing and they say you shove your arm into the rectum get someone else to hold

the cow's tail aside while you do this that would be a bold farmer who tried using one foot to pin the calf's tail. This is the worst game of a twister I've ever played. It says left hand sex tubes. So this lesson isn't going to end. So you essentially use your rectum arm

to navigate your semen gun, which is in the vaginal canal, and you push it through. So you got your arm in the rectum, and it's pushing against the other canal so that it gets into the uterus and it's called recto-vaginal insemination. And that's lesson over. Enjoy.

Well, there we go. There it is. Some of the best of Anna Tyszynski's best bits. I was trying to think, you know, is there some way that we could keep a bit of you here, you know? Oh, God. Is there some way? We want us. Give us the finger.

Give us the finger. Just in spirit, you know. Justin's spirit. She's been metaphorically giving everyone the finger for the last nine years. I'll tell you what, though. I thought hard about it. I thought, how do we keep a bit of Anna here? And I worked it out.

I suddenly remembered the weirdest story I have ever heard involving Anna Tyshinsky. And it is this. There was a Christmas party that Anna once went to. And part of the party, they said, we're going to do a really fun thing. We're going to do a raffle. You're just going to take a ticket and you're going to get a present. So everyone bring a present. So you can give it to someone.

So I was talking to the friend today who I bumped into. She gave a scarf, for example. Right. Yeah, normal things. Normal things were handed around. This person whose name is Lenny received her number and received her prize in the raffle. I'd never met Lenny. And this is the prize that Anna had donated.

It is her teeth. Oh my God. That fell out of her mouth. Lenny. Lenny hasn't treasured and kept the teeth. W-T-F. She has. they're in her home. I went to her home today to pick it up.

This is Lenny didn't know who Anna was. She opens up her present and there are teeth from one of the other party members there. Were these the teeth that got knocked out when James went to get you from? Yeah. Yeah. So these are the teeth. They got fully knocked out. I thought they were in the canal.

They're in the canal. We went looking for that. We did. The fully knocked out ones were in the canal and they were the ones that had to get taken out later. Bloody hell. Yeah. So Anna thought it'd be normal to give in the canal. a raffle prize, her teeth away. Now, Polly, who is the partner of Lennie, try to get rid of

Anna's teeth to begin with, because she has a fear of teeth. She literally hates the tapping of teeth. It's the worst present that could have arrived into the house. But as a result, for the last couple of years since they've had these teeth, Lenny hides your teeth all over the house to surprise Polly. If she goes to sleep, she'll put it under her pillow. If she's opening a pencil case, the teeth will be inside the pencil case. Reverse tooth fairy. Yeah. And then they almost got given away in another raffle very recently, but Lenny decided to keep them because she was having too much time. How much did you pay for those? And have you told your wife? But so now, while you're gone, you are here. There'll be a bit of Anna. What we're going to do is

we're going to make Sarah Pascoe put some of those. Every time there's a guest, we're going to make them shove them into their face. It's going to make the book of sound very weird, isn't it? But it's worth it to get a bit of me. Oh, well, I'm so honored that my teeth have had such a life beyond me, actually. I know. It's really exciting. It's a weird story, Dan. That's a weird story. You're responsible too, Anna. James is the only one who gets off scot for it.

No, actually, you were involved in the losing of the teeth. What? I was not. I'm the only one here. He doesn't have any involved with this mad, fat shit, teeth raffle story. You will. I won't. You're in it.

You're in it. You're in it. Anyway, let's wrap up. That is it. That is all of our facts. Thank you so much for listening. If you want to get in contact with any of us about the weird-ass stories that we've said, over the course of this podcast, we can all be found on our Twitter accounts.

I'm on at Shreiberland, Andy. At Andrew Hunter. James. At James Harkin. And Anna. No, you don't say anything. You're gone. Yeah, I mean, you can email podcast.

atuI.com, but good luck me ever seeing it. Yeah. And you'll see it and do a good impersonation. Yeah, that's right. You'll be wearing the team every time you reply to an email. I'll time the emails all to go out between 3 and 5 a.m. And everyone will end yippee-kai, motherfucker. Yeah, we'll be wearing.

go to our group account at No Such Thing. We'll be back again next week with a really exciting guest as part of our big rotation of awesome guests, starting with Sarah Pasco. And we'll be back with that episode next week. We'll see you then. Goodbye.