No Such Thing As A Fish - No Such Thing As Planet George
Episode Date: January 29, 2016Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Snowmageddon, the most planety planet, and the world's unluckiest lottery winner. ...
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The other episode of no such thing as a fish, a weekly podcast coming to you from the Up the Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich.
My name is Dan Schreiber.
I'm sitting here next to Anna Chazinski, Andy Murray, and James Harkin.
Once again, we have sat around the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last seven days.
And in no particular order, here we go.
Okay, time for fact number one.
And that's my fact.
My fact this week is that even though we're not sure.
it exists, the new planet, planet number nine, is the most planety planet of all the planets.
So this is a major discovery that we found.
A new planet.
Or didn't find.
Or didn't find. Either way, it's big news.
Yeah, we think it exists because of computer modelling.
They've modelled the solar system.
They think this thing exists.
It's absolutely massive.
And one thing that is very important with planets is that it clears out the area of its
orbit. So there aren't other things going around with it. And they think, according to their
calculations, this planet has done that more than any other planet. And that's what makes it
the most planety planets of all the planets. According to the guy who discovered it,
or one of the two guys who discovered it, Dr. Brown. Right. So a planetary planet is a planet
that no other things want to be close to, really, right? Well, if that's the case,
then I am a planeted planet. I read a description of it that it was almost certain to be
a fifth member of the Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Quartet.
So it's like the fifth beetle.
But it's like the fifth beetle was cast into deep space.
Yeah.
The really cool thing about the new planet is, you may have seen this in the news.
The man who discovered it, one of the two guys who wrote the paper on it,
is the same man who killed Pluto.
Yeah.
Wow.
Mike Brown.
It's like a grudge match.
It's so exciting.
His Twitter account is at Pluto killer.
Yeah.
Isn't it?
It's actually?
Yeah.
And he says he still gets...
He gets abuse from...
He gets letters and obscene phone calls
from people who miss Pluto.
He said...
These are his exact words.
He said, I got hate mail from young children
for many years.
And he doesn't get any more now
because young children these days
know that Pluto is no longer a planet.
Pluto was named by a child, wasn't it?
Was it?
Yeah.
It's named by an 11-year-old girl.
Venetian.
I read such a nice interview with her,
uh, which was about,
five years ago, I think, about how exciting it was that she'd named Pluto.
And the interviewer kept on asking her why she'd named it. Pluto. It was a Nasser interview.
The Nassar interviewer said, and you thought about it because of the Greek and Roman mythology
about Pluto being the god of the underworld, yes? And she was like, no, no, I don't think it was
as subtle as that. No, it was just a name I knew hadn't been used. Okay, but it was also because
the first two letters, PL, have a connection with Percival Lowell?
No, no, I certainly didn't realize that. We're appreciating all the time.
Poor interviewers.
Give me something.
She got five pounds for that.
But they took that five pounds off her
when they demoted it from a planet.
Nope.
She said, she was in her late 80s when it was demoted,
and they asked her about it at the time.
She said, at my age, I've been largely indifferent to the debate.
She's just saying that to hide all the hate mail
she's been sending to Mike Brown, hasn't it?
So they're going to come up with a new name for this planet.
don't know what they're going to call it yet.
The working name is George, isn't it?
Oh, is it?
No, but that's quite nice because we almost did have a planet called George.
Well, Uranus was called George.
Well, it was called George, and they said, that's ridiculous name.
And then they said, let's go with Uranus.
It was going to be named George after King George III.
And then they said, no, why did they say no to King George the Third?
Was it after a living?
I think they thought all the other planets were named after Roman gods,
and suddenly some dickhead king's gone, oh, name it after me.
And then they don't know it after me.
So Mike Brown and his friend Constantine Battygin,
who's the other person who's kind of found this one,
their working name for it is Planet Fatty.
They said that they're going to call it Planet Fatty
because it's 1990 slang for something that's cool.
But I went on to Urban Dictionary.
And Fatty does not mean cool.
It means something that I really cannot say on this stage.
Really?
Yeah, something.
Very rude indeed.
Wow.
Yeah.
Fatsy with the pH?
Oh, yeah.
So, James, you think another new story that's going to come up is that Pluto is going to be renamed a planet?
I think it will do in the next couple of years, yeah.
What?
I think what will happen in the next couple of years is...
What?
I'm going to get a lot of pay mail for this.
Yeah.
Give me a stamp.
But I thought the thing was it's so tiny and there are so many hundreds of other objects which are the same size.
So I think all the other hundreds will get cold planets as well.
No way.
That's my guess.
You know.
So much more memorand.
to do in year nine at school.
Isn't they going to be you?
It's 2000.
All the planets, well, how long have you got?
I was reading about the current status of Pluto's current official name is asteroid number 134-3-40,
which is a long way from fall, yeah.
Why did they call that?
Was it because it's like an asteroid?
It's named after the ancient Greek god 134-3-4-0.
Some of the names that they may be, some people have suggested names on Twitter and whatever,
this new planet. Manover, Persephone, Nix, who's the goddess of the night, is quite a good one.
Some people have said Bowie, because of the timing of that. And the first person to suggest this one,
which is my favourite, was at Ted Vogel underscore Wilson. And he thinks it should be called Pluto.
Very nice. That's a good name, isn't it? That's very good.
I think we should have more puns in the skies, don't you?
So there's been other news this week, which has been really exciting in sort of NASA news.
space news, which is, I saw an article about Scott Kelly, who's been up there now 300 days,
and he was celebrating for 300 days of being in...
Wait, sorry, wait.
Do you mean he got up there and immediately started celebrating?
I'm in space, guys.
Actually, it's weird you guys bring that up.
They now factor in onus when astronauts go up.
So Tim Peake, when he went out on his first ever EVA, when he went outside the ship,
they used to have a really tight schedule.
Go straight here.
They now factor in time because any astronauts,
who would go outside would find themselves just going, oh my God, I'm hanging in space,
I'm looking at the planet Earth. And they never factored in time for that. So they've now
given all time where you can just go, oh, and then get on with your work. So all time is now a thing.
That's great. But yeah, so he's up there. He's with this guy, Scott Kelly, who's been up there
300 days. And Scott Kelly made this clip to celebrate it by showing how you play ping pong in space.
And what they do is they have these little bats that are built to move water. And so you
This is just as a practical thing in space.
And so what they do is they play ping pong using a droplet of water,
and you just hit a droplet of water over,
and it heads that way, and then you hit it back.
He was playing on his own.
I don't think it's caught on as a game yet up in the ISS.
But, so I was watching this video.
It was really interesting because he's playing and he's talking about it,
and I noticed, as I was watching it, that he's wearing a belt.
And I'm like, why are you wearing a belt in space?
Like, that's not going anywhere.
So I googled it, and I was looking why,
wear a belt in space? And it turns out you wear a belt in space to stop your trousers from
falling up.
We need to move on to our next fact in a second. Anyone got anything else before we do?
Just one last thing on Mike Brown, the astronomer at the center of all of this.
I just love the title of his 2010 book on The Whole Matter. It is How I Kill Pluto and Why
Why It Had It Coming.
Okay, it's time for our second fact of the show, and that is James Harkin.
Okay, my fact this week is that the first use of the word snowmageddon
came in the same press release as the first apology for the use of the word snowmaged.
Because of all the snow in America, I thought I'd see the history of Snowmageddon.
And I found a use in 2008.
It was a press release from the Canadian government.
And they said about how it's Snowmageddon.
And then right at the end in a very Canadian way, they say,
we're sorry, we're not trying to like take the Mickey and say that it's not very important.
and it is important.
Sorry about Snowmageddon.
No, we're really sorry.
Really sorry.
And then the Snowmageddon was kind of not used that much for a couple of years.
And then in 2000, this was in 2008.
And in 2010, they had a massive storm in Washington, D.C.
And that's when Snowmageddon really took off.
Right.
And according to Wikipedia, there was a few other things,
Snowzilla within a few hours of Snowmageddon.
And apparently that storm also popularized the term Kaiser Snowsay.
Oh.
This latest storm
It's produced a thing
Because you guys, I'm sure, have seen all the enormous snowfall
On the East Coast of America
It's been thunder snow is what's been produced
Oh yeah, because Scott Kelly tweeted it
Scott Kelly, who is on the International Space Station
I think that was how we found out
Or he, very early on when it was happening,
he tweeted thunder snow
And because he's obviously such a knowledgeable guy
He said, this is unbelievably rare, by the way, guys
And it's even more rare that I'm seeing it from the
other side of it.
But yeah, it's super rare, isn't it?
So it's where a storm, instead of producing rain, produces snow
because of the different way the air rubs together or something.
Some nerdy bullshit that we're not going to get the time to...
I think when a cloud produces snow instead of rain,
it's usually just because it's cold.
You can blind me with all the meteorology your legs, James.
I read today.
I had no idea about this.
So it snows on Mars.
so it's not your classic snow
it's not your like
it's not like snow
but they call it
like it's kind of like a snow
that falls from the sky
exactly and so the Morris rover
was looking up
don't know why it was just looking up
and it could see there's snow coming down
and it was having all time
wow
wow wow
wow
Mars. This was the article I was reading and told me this. If you stood in a certain
spot of Mars, your feet could be 21 degrees, but your chest would be zero degrees. That's how
the difference between down there to our peers. There's so little atmosphere. Here to get out of the
atmosphere, you have to go really, really high, but there, by the, you know, by your chest,
you wouldn't be in the atmosphere anymore. So it'd be really, really cold. Actually, speaking of hot and cold,
I was reading, so something that's happening to go back to space news is the Kepler Space Telescope
that was sent out a few years ago
is due back
or back this year, I think.
And so that's found tons of new planets.
And one of the planets it's found
is this planet called Gliaz 581c.
And what NASA says about that is,
so it's tidily locked.
So that basically means that it doesn't really rotate.
So half of it is,
one half of it is scorching hot
while the other half is constantly frozen.
It is believed to be the best candidate
for human expansion.
So the current storms in America
There is a guy who's capitalizing on them at the moment
He started it last year
It's a business called ship snowyo.com
He's called car wearing
And you can buy snow in a box from him
And he sends it over and he keeps it cool
And how does he make sure it doesn't melt?
He packs it in...
It's like in an esky
He packs it in an esky
Yeah so he sends it over
So an Esk is an Australian word for like a fridge.
Yeah.
It's like, really?
It's like if you're going to the beach and you're bringing some bottles
and you're just going to go sit there and down some tinnies, it's that kind of thing.
It's weird because when the Australian comes out and you really comes up.
I'm an Aussie, by the way.
I just don't sound it.
So just quickly, following up on this, he offers, if by the time your Eskies arrived
and your snow's melted, he offers you a refund and he'll send you a whole new batch of snow.
There's also someone, cap light.
So quite a few people have made it, even though a lot of people are in serious trouble.
A lot of people actually are quite comfortable and having a lot of fun with it.
People are making bars out of the snow and serving drinks there.
Yeah, they sold tons of extra booze, didn't they?
As soon as they knew the storm was coming, they just went to the shops and bought as much booze as they can possibly get.
And someone on Airbnb put up an igloo that they've built.
$10 a night, you can rent the igloo.
You've got to bring your own sleeping bag.
But it's suddenly, so since reading the article, it's been updated.
the article and that's now no longer on Airbnb.
They're not sure if it was banned or if it melted.
So on naming storms, this storm doesn't need a name.
And the weather channel, I think, is against the US Weather Channel.
Sorry, why doesn't it need a name?
Because you only name.
So a snowstorm is not a finite thing.
It's just, I think one meteorologist I was reading said,
it's just an extension of normal weather.
So something like...
Everything's just an extension of normal.
There's no supernatural weather, which...
No, something like a cyclone has a very finite start and finish.
You can pinpoint exactly when it started and exactly when it finished.
So they need names, but storms don't.
But the Weather Channel has announced the storm names for 2016,
and they are things like Ajax.
So there's going to be a storm called Ajax, Kyla, Quo, as in status,
and Zandor, Waylon and Yolo.
Storm Yolo.
You killed by Stormiola.
Well, you only die once.
There's a paper in Canada that came out this week
that warned people against eating snow.
Because apparently snow is really good at collecting
bits from car exhausts or bits of toxins from the air.
Snow is really, really good at picking it up.
And so if you kind of take a little bit of scoop of snow from the ground
like a lot of people do and just kind of eat some of it.
Yeah, like everyone does.
Yeah, yeah.
It's snowing.
Tonight we eat.
The South Korean government a few years ago made an explicit thing to people saying you must not eat yellow snow.
There was an actual press release saying you must not eat yellow snow.
And that's because they'd had this snow that had come, which was yellow.
And it had like heavy minerals and stuff from some power stations.
Oh, really?
Oh, wow.
And so that's the one reason that you should never eat yellow snow.
Minerals from power stations
We're going to have to move on
Just before we end
I read one thing
Which is a new theory
That's erupted this week
Penguins, they think, may
I mean
There are so many qualifications
in this already
You can get away
With saying anything at this point though
So penguins they think
They think
They
think
May
possibly
when they're about to mate
they will need a nice
wait is this the they who think this
no this is the penguins
no the penguins if it's true know it
it's us who think that
so they think that the penguins
are like oh we need somewhere to have a good time
why not here but oh it's really
it's really cold and icy and snowy
so they'll poo on it
and then the poo melts the snow
No.
And then they go, now that's where we have sex.
There's a new theory.
It's true that they poo.
I'll give you that.
Blah, blah, blah.
Okay, time for fact number three.
And that is Andrew Hunter Murray.
Okay.
My fact is that this week we have discovered the largest prime number ever.
We would have discovered it in September,
but the computer which found it forgot to tell anybody.
So this has happened.
So there are computers all over the world
looking for new prime numbers
and they're up to really enormous ones now
and they're very useful in encrypting stuff.
Yeah, they're called GIMPS.
GIMS, yeah.
Something massive prime...
Great internet, Merzine, which I think...
Merzine Prime search.
Yeah, Mersenne. It's Mersenne Primes.
So these are prime numbers named after a French guy
called Mersenne.
And you can download a computer program
onto your computer and it will look for these prime numbers.
And if you find one,
then you get like 100 grand.
or something like that, $100,000.
And everyone, a lot of people have put it onto the computer,
but the people who found it this week, or last year or whatever it was,
they have so much computer processing power that they've managed to find loads of them.
Right.
Yeah, I think they found like four of the last five or something like that.
That's right.
Wow.
Yeah.
So the new one, I'm going to read this out from here.
The new number is five million digits longer than the previous largest one.
It's two to the power of 74 million,
207,281,
all of that, minus 1.
Yeah.
If you were going to write it out
and you could write 10 digits in four seconds,
this is a calculation by a New York Times correspondent,
it would take you three months without slowing down.
Yeah.
It's got 22 million digits in it.
Like my phone.
It starts 3003-7641.
Stop me when you get bored.
And then it ends 0.007-339-1086-436-36-351.
And for people at home...
So you've just given away the ending.
There's no point in the middle now.
For people at home, we edited out the other $22 million.
I just didn't say.
And you can download the actual number and get it on your computer
and have a look through it, which I did.
Oh, great.
It contains my six-digit code to access my bank account.
Oh, James.
Don't say that.
And it comes...
People will know who.
It contains it 21 times.
Wow.
That's how big this number is.
It contains my library number twice.
And at one stage, it has eight sevens in a row.
So I'm just giving you the edited highlights here.
I was watching an interview with the guy who discovered it,
or rather the guy who set the computer up that discovered it.
And there was a moment that, like, this is amazing.
This is the big new prime number.
It's beyond any that we've had before.
What can we do with it?
And he was like, we have no idea.
Literally nothing.
It has no point.
It has no purpose.
So most of them can be used for encrypting things on computers.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, this one is now such a global celebrity that it will be noticed immediately by hackers.
So if you have a key in several million digits long.
The thing is, you use prime numbers in encryption by taking two prime numbers,
multiplying them together, and then it's finding the factors of that secondary number.
Now, if you have a number which has got 23, 24 million digits in, you know that one of,
them must be this number. So everyone knows that it must be this one, so it's really easy to crack.
So the only time this will be useful is when we get some even bigger numbers that we can use,
which we will do one day. Yeah. I like the, um, I'd never heard prime numbers described like this,
but they're the building blocks of maths, really, and they're the equivalent of atoms in science,
because prime numbers are, because nothing goes into them, everything else is a factor, um, of
something else. So everything else can be split up, you can't split up a prime number.
I like that the equivalent of an atom. And something else I didn't know.
know about prime numbers because you think that they're kind of so randomly distributed if we've
taken this long to work out what you know the pattern is is that all prime numbers if you square
them are a multiple of 24 and then adding one now you just write that down not the really small
one not the ones under five yeah yeah anything over five is oh god are we going to go through
them all yeah 11 is 13 is seven
11 is
Yeah so they found this using the GIMPS
The software
And this is a weird thing
The weird thing about GIMPS is
If you go onto Google
And type the word GIMPS into Google
All of the first five things that you get
Are about this prime number thing
The same is not true of Google Images
This is amazing
So cicadas, you know, there's that kind of
Cicada in North America, which only comes up to the surface and breathes.
Well, it's every prime number of years.
So in some places it's every 13 years, in some places it's every 17 years,
in some places it's another prime number of years.
And which sounds ridiculous, but it was hypothesized in the article I read,
that that actually does make sense because if you come up in a prime number of years,
you have the least chance of coinciding with predators,
which also have like periodical patterns.
because, so let's say you come up every eight years,
then if you're hunted by a panther that appears every two years,
then they're going to bump into you a lot.
But if you're coming up every prime number of years,
then you're not going to bump into predators every prime number of years.
Do you think there's a cicada that comes up every two to the 74 million years?
And the only reason we haven't seen it is because, you know,
you'd be pretty lucky to see that, wouldn't you?
Yeah.
I don't know what a cicada is.
It's a little insect.
Like a cricket.
Yeah, like a cricket.
A cicada fact, there's only one cicada.
in the UK.
One species of cicada.
Oh,
not just one lonely cicada.
Lonesome Trevor.
There's only one species of cicada in the UK.
It's called the New Forest Cicada.
And we think they live in the New Forest,
but they might have died out,
because no one's seen one for about 10 years.
And you should be able to hear their call,
but you can't really hear it
because it's outside of human hearing range.
But you can buy an app,
and the app can hear the cicada call,
and so you can walk around the new forest
with your app listening for cicadas
and then if you find one
then you'll have discovered
that they still exist.
Wow.
That'd be cool, wouldn't they?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I didn't find any prime number stuff
but I started looking into numbers
of the week and there's a very famous set of numbers now.
There's going to be a long list now.
Six.
No, there was this week a set of numbers
which was, there was this massive lotto,
the big lottery draw that went and there was a story about this lady
who thinks she's won the lottery,
has found the ticket that she's won with all the numbers,
but the barcode is missing.
She put it in the washing machine, didn't she?
Yeah, she put it in the washing machine.
It's missing.
It's one of those things where you think that must be the worst situation, right?
That you've won the lottery, and now you've not won it because you've lost the thing.
And so I was looking into, is that genuinely the worst situation anyone's had in the lottery?
And I found a guy that I think contends.
Oh, really?
Yeah, this guy won the lottery.
Okay.
Okay.
But this is what led up to him winning the lottery.
His name is Franz Seller.
He was born in Croatia.
He was a teacher.
He was born in 1929.
In 1962, his train derailed and plunged into an icy river,
and he managed to escape and not die.
The next year in 1963, while flying, the door blew out,
and he got sucked out of the plane, and he survived.
Oh, good.
It was all good.
Three years later, 1966, he's riding on a bunge.
He's riding on a bunch.
It's Australia.
It's an Australian term.
I was riding along a bunch, Mike.
Whatever you do, don't check that of Urban Dictionary.
So he's riding on a bus
and the bus suddenly...
The bus plunges into a river.
He gets out and survives.
So this is 1962, 1963, 1966.
He must take no public transport by this point.
Exactly. He's in his car.
He's in his car and it just blows up in flames
so he escapes and he's all right.
So that's 1970.
1973. He's still weary of public transit.
transport in his car. Once again, another fire
blows up in his car, loses all his
hair, manages to make it out. There's a whole
nice period between 1973 and
1995 when nothing happens.
But he stayed at home, but then he
went out and got hit by a bus. So that's
1995. Then in 1996,
1996, he's back in his car.
He drove, and another, either was a truck or a car, is
coming towards him. He swerves away. He manages
to escape his car as it plunges over a cliff,
lands in a tree and then the car goes 300 feet down and breaks into an icy river.
In 2003, he won the lotto.
One million.
That's divine justice.
That's amazing.
I think that's worse than losing your ticket and not winning.
There were two other very bad lottery stories.
So one couple, I think this was actually last year, Edwina and David Nilean, who had an
a lotto app and they got the right numbers and they sent them up.
in the app and they'd won 35 million pounds and their app broke and it failed.
So they had the photographic evidence that they tried to send it on the app and it only sent
it after the deadline because they ran out of signals.
If only they hadn't been using their phone to search for cicada noises in the new forest.
Okay, let's move on to our final fact of the show and that is Chisinski.
Yes, my fact is that in a press release about the new English language test for migrants,
the British government misspelled the word language.
But yeah, this is so that this has been a, you know, a big story over the last few weeks.
It's the new test for migrants and there's lots of controversy and people who, even if they're on spousal visas,
if they fail these language tests, they might be made to leave the country.
And it turns out the people who are releasing the press release, spell language with the A and the U the wrong way around.
There was a very snotty reply from the government.
the Prime Minister's official spokesman said
All of us are open to mistakes at times
The Prime Minister is fully confident that his team
Speak English competently
Touched a bit of a note
I went through
I basically haven't researched that much of this
Because I just went through trying to find the mistakes
In all government
Of the bits of legislation
Over the last 50 years
No I went
Well first of all the independent put together
A list of 10 questions that are taken from the government's list
of possible migrant language questions.
And here's the independence introduction to the questions.
Listen to the sentence.
The questions below have been taken from practice exams
for the B-1 test that those who need to prove their knowledge
of the English language to gain their indefinite leave to remain...
Full stop.
Oh, it's like a cliffhanger of a sentence.
Full stop.
And then, so one of the questions is,
maybe I'm wrong about this,
but it's multiple choice questions,
and it's a complete end of this sentence.
So one of them is,
have you finished with the newspaper and it's ABCD and the options are
are...
Is this to gain citizenship?
Yeah, yeah, to gain citizenship.
You have to say whether you finished with the newspaper.
That's the only criteria.
Just give the frickin' newspaper back.
You can come in the country.
No, it's have you finished with a newspaper
and then it's what is the grammatically correct ending to the sentence?
Have you finished with the newspaper?
Now, still, yet or already?
Now, the answer they were...
and I did the test, yet is the answer they want,
already is completely correct.
Yeah, if you want to be really passive-aggressive about it.
Yeah, you could say,
you finished with that newspaper already?
Well, yeah, but you can also say...
No, no, it's not that. It's not that. It's the opposite of that.
It's... So they want you to fall into the trap of the American,
you know, have you finished with the newspaper already?
But you could also just ask a valid question,
have you finished with the newspaper already?
As in, have you read it that fast?
Have you finished with the newspaper already?
Oh, completely correct.
You could also passive-aggressively say, well, have you finished?
finished with the newspaper now?
What could be more British
doesn't make any sense?
That's very funny.
Yeah. So my wife,
who's Russian, she will have to take these
tests quite soon. And she
was trying out some questions
from the citizenship test, which is like a
general knowledge test. And she
tried them out on me, and literally I got
none of them right. Really? And my general
knowledge is not bad. It's all right.
I brought a long one to test you, because I think
your general knowledge is quite good.
Okay. Well,
One of the ones that she was asked in the practice test was what is a national dish of Wales?
Oh.
What?
Coal.
Cole.
Oh, yeah.
Cool.
Well, you might think that.
According to the government...
Well, what about so we do.
Well, exactly. But according to the government, it's Welsh cakes.
Sorry, fellas.
Sorry, guys.
The home office will be sending a man.
Welsh cakes.
Yeah, apparently Welsh cakes.
But the other thing is, um, if I'm
If I want to become a citizen of Russia, I would have to take a Russian language test.
And the Russian language test has all the normal things that you would expect.
But you also have to be able to interpret hidden meanings.
Wow.
That sounds cool.
That sounds cool.
You know, Bill Bryson released a new book, The Road to Little Dribling.
In the beginning, he talks about taking a test to become a British citizen.
He decided to become it.
And he was saying that not only other mistakes in the test, but in the books,
that guide you into how to take the test are just completely filled with mistakes.
One that he pointed out was they were talking about Anthony Hopkins and saying that he's
someone to be proud of, as a British person, he's someone to be proud of.
They spell his name wrong.
And also, he's taken up American citizenship.
He's not British anymore.
Tina Turner is Swiss now.
Is she?
Yeah.
Wow.
So I was looking into the news for other language messups over the last week.
and I found one that happened in Sweden.
They were having at their parliament
a political debate about
very serious issues, actually.
It was like a really long debate.
They made a mistake, though, of when they transmitted it,
they put the wrong subtitles onto the debate.
So you had guys like Jean Borgland,
who's the Minister of Education,
looking really serious, saying something really serious,
but the subtitles reading,
I will build the best sandcastle in the galaxy.
I'd vote for him
And then you had Stefan Lofen, the Prime Minister
The Prime Minister going
The latest invention
The Fantastic Dinosaur submarine
And then the Minister for Environment
Going greetings earth creatures
I have two pairs of boots
One red pair and one yellow pair
Which ones should I take?
I'm going to ask my doll
The whole thing.
I remember them where they got those original
subtitles.
Yeah, it was a cartoon animation
about dinosaurs.
Sounds great.
You know that
Godzilla has just been awarded
Japanese citizenship.
It was done as a press
sort of PR stunt, obviously.
But it was a particular district
of Tokyo that he got at a Shinjuku,
which is a very cool, extremely busy one.
I think that it's very near
the famous crossing in Tokyo,
Shibuya,
crossing. But they released the certificate which they'd done, and it said, previous visits to
Shinjuku Ward, three, Godzilla, 1984, Godzilla versus King Gidora in 1991, and Godzilla
Millennium, 1999. That's really good. We're going to have to wrap up in a sec. So, yeah, anything
you want to... Just as you know, to get South Korean citizenship, the test requires you to sing the
first four verses of the national anthem. Sing it in tune. Wow. Yeah. That's a tough gig,
isn't it?
And the Dutch citizenship, you have to watch a video that includes beach nudity.
What?
Where's the phone?
Do you know what?
I'll do it even if they don't give me Dutch citizenship.
It's because they're such a liberal country.
They want to show you what to expect if you come to the Netherlands.
Yeah, yeah.
Like if people come from other countries that are a bit more conservative, they might turn up into the Netherlands and think, wow, what's going on here?
Beach nudity.
So they want to show it so that you're not shots
When you see it in real life
So can you fail that
Is it like if you get an erection
Or you cry
Then
Or both
Feelings are confusing
Edda
Okay that's it
Contact with any of us
About the things we've said
Over the course of this podcast
We can be found on our Twitter account
So I'm on at Shreiberland
James
At Egg Shaped
Andy
At Andrew Hunter M
Chazinsky
You can email podcast
at QI.com.
Yeah.
Or you can go to
at QI podcast
or go to our site
No Such Thing
as a Fish.com.
We've got all of our
previous episodes up there.
We're going to be back
again next week.
Thank you so much
for being here, guys.
We'll see you then.
Goodbye.
