No Such Thing As A Fish - No Such Thing As Planet George

Episode Date: January 29, 2016

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Snowmageddon, the most planety planet, and the world's unluckiest lottery winner. ...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:02 The other episode of no such thing as a fish, a weekly podcast coming to you from the Up the Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich. My name is Dan Schreiber. I'm sitting here next to Anna Chazinski, Andy Murray, and James Harkin. Once again, we have sat around the microphones with our four favorite facts from the last seven days. And in no particular order, here we go. Okay, time for fact number one. And that's my fact. My fact this week is that even though we're not sure.
Starting point is 00:00:42 it exists, the new planet, planet number nine, is the most planety planet of all the planets. So this is a major discovery that we found. A new planet. Or didn't find. Or didn't find. Either way, it's big news. Yeah, we think it exists because of computer modelling. They've modelled the solar system. They think this thing exists.
Starting point is 00:01:05 It's absolutely massive. And one thing that is very important with planets is that it clears out the area of its orbit. So there aren't other things going around with it. And they think, according to their calculations, this planet has done that more than any other planet. And that's what makes it the most planety planets of all the planets. According to the guy who discovered it, or one of the two guys who discovered it, Dr. Brown. Right. So a planetary planet is a planet that no other things want to be close to, really, right? Well, if that's the case, then I am a planeted planet. I read a description of it that it was almost certain to be
Starting point is 00:01:41 a fifth member of the Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Quartet. So it's like the fifth beetle. But it's like the fifth beetle was cast into deep space. Yeah. The really cool thing about the new planet is, you may have seen this in the news. The man who discovered it, one of the two guys who wrote the paper on it, is the same man who killed Pluto. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:01 Wow. Mike Brown. It's like a grudge match. It's so exciting. His Twitter account is at Pluto killer. Yeah. Isn't it? It's actually?
Starting point is 00:02:11 Yeah. And he says he still gets... He gets abuse from... He gets letters and obscene phone calls from people who miss Pluto. He said... These are his exact words. He said, I got hate mail from young children
Starting point is 00:02:26 for many years. And he doesn't get any more now because young children these days know that Pluto is no longer a planet. Pluto was named by a child, wasn't it? Was it? Yeah. It's named by an 11-year-old girl.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Venetian. I read such a nice interview with her, uh, which was about, five years ago, I think, about how exciting it was that she'd named Pluto. And the interviewer kept on asking her why she'd named it. Pluto. It was a Nasser interview. The Nassar interviewer said, and you thought about it because of the Greek and Roman mythology about Pluto being the god of the underworld, yes? And she was like, no, no, I don't think it was as subtle as that. No, it was just a name I knew hadn't been used. Okay, but it was also because
Starting point is 00:03:01 the first two letters, PL, have a connection with Percival Lowell? No, no, I certainly didn't realize that. We're appreciating all the time. Poor interviewers. Give me something. She got five pounds for that. But they took that five pounds off her when they demoted it from a planet. Nope.
Starting point is 00:03:25 She said, she was in her late 80s when it was demoted, and they asked her about it at the time. She said, at my age, I've been largely indifferent to the debate. She's just saying that to hide all the hate mail she's been sending to Mike Brown, hasn't it? So they're going to come up with a new name for this planet. don't know what they're going to call it yet. The working name is George, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:03:48 Oh, is it? No, but that's quite nice because we almost did have a planet called George. Well, Uranus was called George. Well, it was called George, and they said, that's ridiculous name. And then they said, let's go with Uranus. It was going to be named George after King George III. And then they said, no, why did they say no to King George the Third? Was it after a living?
Starting point is 00:04:06 I think they thought all the other planets were named after Roman gods, and suddenly some dickhead king's gone, oh, name it after me. And then they don't know it after me. So Mike Brown and his friend Constantine Battygin, who's the other person who's kind of found this one, their working name for it is Planet Fatty. They said that they're going to call it Planet Fatty because it's 1990 slang for something that's cool.
Starting point is 00:04:32 But I went on to Urban Dictionary. And Fatty does not mean cool. It means something that I really cannot say on this stage. Really? Yeah, something. Very rude indeed. Wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:46 Fatsy with the pH? Oh, yeah. So, James, you think another new story that's going to come up is that Pluto is going to be renamed a planet? I think it will do in the next couple of years, yeah. What? I think what will happen in the next couple of years is... What? I'm going to get a lot of pay mail for this.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Yeah. Give me a stamp. But I thought the thing was it's so tiny and there are so many hundreds of other objects which are the same size. So I think all the other hundreds will get cold planets as well. No way. That's my guess. You know. So much more memorand.
Starting point is 00:05:15 to do in year nine at school. Isn't they going to be you? It's 2000. All the planets, well, how long have you got? I was reading about the current status of Pluto's current official name is asteroid number 134-3-40, which is a long way from fall, yeah. Why did they call that? Was it because it's like an asteroid?
Starting point is 00:05:35 It's named after the ancient Greek god 134-3-4-0. Some of the names that they may be, some people have suggested names on Twitter and whatever, this new planet. Manover, Persephone, Nix, who's the goddess of the night, is quite a good one. Some people have said Bowie, because of the timing of that. And the first person to suggest this one, which is my favourite, was at Ted Vogel underscore Wilson. And he thinks it should be called Pluto. Very nice. That's a good name, isn't it? That's very good. I think we should have more puns in the skies, don't you? So there's been other news this week, which has been really exciting in sort of NASA news.
Starting point is 00:06:17 space news, which is, I saw an article about Scott Kelly, who's been up there now 300 days, and he was celebrating for 300 days of being in... Wait, sorry, wait. Do you mean he got up there and immediately started celebrating? I'm in space, guys. Actually, it's weird you guys bring that up. They now factor in onus when astronauts go up. So Tim Peake, when he went out on his first ever EVA, when he went outside the ship,
Starting point is 00:06:42 they used to have a really tight schedule. Go straight here. They now factor in time because any astronauts, who would go outside would find themselves just going, oh my God, I'm hanging in space, I'm looking at the planet Earth. And they never factored in time for that. So they've now given all time where you can just go, oh, and then get on with your work. So all time is now a thing. That's great. But yeah, so he's up there. He's with this guy, Scott Kelly, who's been up there 300 days. And Scott Kelly made this clip to celebrate it by showing how you play ping pong in space.
Starting point is 00:07:12 And what they do is they have these little bats that are built to move water. And so you This is just as a practical thing in space. And so what they do is they play ping pong using a droplet of water, and you just hit a droplet of water over, and it heads that way, and then you hit it back. He was playing on his own. I don't think it's caught on as a game yet up in the ISS. But, so I was watching this video.
Starting point is 00:07:33 It was really interesting because he's playing and he's talking about it, and I noticed, as I was watching it, that he's wearing a belt. And I'm like, why are you wearing a belt in space? Like, that's not going anywhere. So I googled it, and I was looking why, wear a belt in space? And it turns out you wear a belt in space to stop your trousers from falling up. We need to move on to our next fact in a second. Anyone got anything else before we do?
Starting point is 00:07:59 Just one last thing on Mike Brown, the astronomer at the center of all of this. I just love the title of his 2010 book on The Whole Matter. It is How I Kill Pluto and Why Why It Had It Coming. Okay, it's time for our second fact of the show, and that is James Harkin. Okay, my fact this week is that the first use of the word snowmageddon came in the same press release as the first apology for the use of the word snowmaged. Because of all the snow in America, I thought I'd see the history of Snowmageddon. And I found a use in 2008.
Starting point is 00:08:39 It was a press release from the Canadian government. And they said about how it's Snowmageddon. And then right at the end in a very Canadian way, they say, we're sorry, we're not trying to like take the Mickey and say that it's not very important. and it is important. Sorry about Snowmageddon. No, we're really sorry. Really sorry.
Starting point is 00:08:54 And then the Snowmageddon was kind of not used that much for a couple of years. And then in 2000, this was in 2008. And in 2010, they had a massive storm in Washington, D.C. And that's when Snowmageddon really took off. Right. And according to Wikipedia, there was a few other things, Snowzilla within a few hours of Snowmageddon. And apparently that storm also popularized the term Kaiser Snowsay.
Starting point is 00:09:18 Oh. This latest storm It's produced a thing Because you guys, I'm sure, have seen all the enormous snowfall On the East Coast of America It's been thunder snow is what's been produced Oh yeah, because Scott Kelly tweeted it Scott Kelly, who is on the International Space Station
Starting point is 00:09:38 I think that was how we found out Or he, very early on when it was happening, he tweeted thunder snow And because he's obviously such a knowledgeable guy He said, this is unbelievably rare, by the way, guys And it's even more rare that I'm seeing it from the other side of it. But yeah, it's super rare, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:09:53 So it's where a storm, instead of producing rain, produces snow because of the different way the air rubs together or something. Some nerdy bullshit that we're not going to get the time to... I think when a cloud produces snow instead of rain, it's usually just because it's cold. You can blind me with all the meteorology your legs, James. I read today. I had no idea about this.
Starting point is 00:10:18 So it snows on Mars. so it's not your classic snow it's not your like it's not like snow but they call it like it's kind of like a snow that falls from the sky exactly and so the Morris rover
Starting point is 00:10:32 was looking up don't know why it was just looking up and it could see there's snow coming down and it was having all time wow wow wow wow Mars. This was the article I was reading and told me this. If you stood in a certain
Starting point is 00:10:56 spot of Mars, your feet could be 21 degrees, but your chest would be zero degrees. That's how the difference between down there to our peers. There's so little atmosphere. Here to get out of the atmosphere, you have to go really, really high, but there, by the, you know, by your chest, you wouldn't be in the atmosphere anymore. So it'd be really, really cold. Actually, speaking of hot and cold, I was reading, so something that's happening to go back to space news is the Kepler Space Telescope that was sent out a few years ago is due back or back this year, I think.
Starting point is 00:11:26 And so that's found tons of new planets. And one of the planets it's found is this planet called Gliaz 581c. And what NASA says about that is, so it's tidily locked. So that basically means that it doesn't really rotate. So half of it is, one half of it is scorching hot
Starting point is 00:11:42 while the other half is constantly frozen. It is believed to be the best candidate for human expansion. So the current storms in America There is a guy who's capitalizing on them at the moment He started it last year It's a business called ship snowyo.com He's called car wearing
Starting point is 00:12:03 And you can buy snow in a box from him And he sends it over and he keeps it cool And how does he make sure it doesn't melt? He packs it in... It's like in an esky He packs it in an esky Yeah so he sends it over So an Esk is an Australian word for like a fridge.
Starting point is 00:12:20 Yeah. It's like, really? It's like if you're going to the beach and you're bringing some bottles and you're just going to go sit there and down some tinnies, it's that kind of thing. It's weird because when the Australian comes out and you really comes up. I'm an Aussie, by the way. I just don't sound it. So just quickly, following up on this, he offers, if by the time your Eskies arrived
Starting point is 00:12:40 and your snow's melted, he offers you a refund and he'll send you a whole new batch of snow. There's also someone, cap light. So quite a few people have made it, even though a lot of people are in serious trouble. A lot of people actually are quite comfortable and having a lot of fun with it. People are making bars out of the snow and serving drinks there. Yeah, they sold tons of extra booze, didn't they? As soon as they knew the storm was coming, they just went to the shops and bought as much booze as they can possibly get. And someone on Airbnb put up an igloo that they've built.
Starting point is 00:13:08 $10 a night, you can rent the igloo. You've got to bring your own sleeping bag. But it's suddenly, so since reading the article, it's been updated. the article and that's now no longer on Airbnb. They're not sure if it was banned or if it melted. So on naming storms, this storm doesn't need a name. And the weather channel, I think, is against the US Weather Channel. Sorry, why doesn't it need a name?
Starting point is 00:13:30 Because you only name. So a snowstorm is not a finite thing. It's just, I think one meteorologist I was reading said, it's just an extension of normal weather. So something like... Everything's just an extension of normal. There's no supernatural weather, which... No, something like a cyclone has a very finite start and finish.
Starting point is 00:13:50 You can pinpoint exactly when it started and exactly when it finished. So they need names, but storms don't. But the Weather Channel has announced the storm names for 2016, and they are things like Ajax. So there's going to be a storm called Ajax, Kyla, Quo, as in status, and Zandor, Waylon and Yolo. Storm Yolo. You killed by Stormiola.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Well, you only die once. There's a paper in Canada that came out this week that warned people against eating snow. Because apparently snow is really good at collecting bits from car exhausts or bits of toxins from the air. Snow is really, really good at picking it up. And so if you kind of take a little bit of scoop of snow from the ground like a lot of people do and just kind of eat some of it.
Starting point is 00:14:44 Yeah, like everyone does. Yeah, yeah. It's snowing. Tonight we eat. The South Korean government a few years ago made an explicit thing to people saying you must not eat yellow snow. There was an actual press release saying you must not eat yellow snow. And that's because they'd had this snow that had come, which was yellow. And it had like heavy minerals and stuff from some power stations.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Oh, really? Oh, wow. And so that's the one reason that you should never eat yellow snow. Minerals from power stations We're going to have to move on Just before we end I read one thing Which is a new theory
Starting point is 00:15:23 That's erupted this week Penguins, they think, may I mean There are so many qualifications in this already You can get away With saying anything at this point though So penguins they think
Starting point is 00:15:41 They think They think May possibly when they're about to mate they will need a nice wait is this the they who think this
Starting point is 00:15:56 no this is the penguins no the penguins if it's true know it it's us who think that so they think that the penguins are like oh we need somewhere to have a good time why not here but oh it's really it's really cold and icy and snowy so they'll poo on it
Starting point is 00:16:10 and then the poo melts the snow No. And then they go, now that's where we have sex. There's a new theory. It's true that they poo. I'll give you that. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, time for fact number three.
Starting point is 00:16:26 And that is Andrew Hunter Murray. Okay. My fact is that this week we have discovered the largest prime number ever. We would have discovered it in September, but the computer which found it forgot to tell anybody. So this has happened. So there are computers all over the world looking for new prime numbers
Starting point is 00:16:48 and they're up to really enormous ones now and they're very useful in encrypting stuff. Yeah, they're called GIMPS. GIMS, yeah. Something massive prime... Great internet, Merzine, which I think... Merzine Prime search. Yeah, Mersenne. It's Mersenne Primes.
Starting point is 00:17:03 So these are prime numbers named after a French guy called Mersenne. And you can download a computer program onto your computer and it will look for these prime numbers. And if you find one, then you get like 100 grand. or something like that, $100,000. And everyone, a lot of people have put it onto the computer,
Starting point is 00:17:19 but the people who found it this week, or last year or whatever it was, they have so much computer processing power that they've managed to find loads of them. Right. Yeah, I think they found like four of the last five or something like that. That's right. Wow. Yeah. So the new one, I'm going to read this out from here.
Starting point is 00:17:36 The new number is five million digits longer than the previous largest one. It's two to the power of 74 million, 207,281, all of that, minus 1. Yeah. If you were going to write it out and you could write 10 digits in four seconds, this is a calculation by a New York Times correspondent,
Starting point is 00:17:58 it would take you three months without slowing down. Yeah. It's got 22 million digits in it. Like my phone. It starts 3003-7641. Stop me when you get bored. And then it ends 0.007-339-1086-436-36-351. And for people at home...
Starting point is 00:18:25 So you've just given away the ending. There's no point in the middle now. For people at home, we edited out the other $22 million. I just didn't say. And you can download the actual number and get it on your computer and have a look through it, which I did. Oh, great. It contains my six-digit code to access my bank account.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Oh, James. Don't say that. And it comes... People will know who. It contains it 21 times. Wow. That's how big this number is. It contains my library number twice.
Starting point is 00:18:57 And at one stage, it has eight sevens in a row. So I'm just giving you the edited highlights here. I was watching an interview with the guy who discovered it, or rather the guy who set the computer up that discovered it. And there was a moment that, like, this is amazing. This is the big new prime number. It's beyond any that we've had before. What can we do with it?
Starting point is 00:19:18 And he was like, we have no idea. Literally nothing. It has no point. It has no purpose. So most of them can be used for encrypting things on computers. Yeah. Unfortunately, this one is now such a global celebrity that it will be noticed immediately by hackers. So if you have a key in several million digits long.
Starting point is 00:19:33 The thing is, you use prime numbers in encryption by taking two prime numbers, multiplying them together, and then it's finding the factors of that secondary number. Now, if you have a number which has got 23, 24 million digits in, you know that one of, them must be this number. So everyone knows that it must be this one, so it's really easy to crack. So the only time this will be useful is when we get some even bigger numbers that we can use, which we will do one day. Yeah. I like the, um, I'd never heard prime numbers described like this, but they're the building blocks of maths, really, and they're the equivalent of atoms in science, because prime numbers are, because nothing goes into them, everything else is a factor, um, of
Starting point is 00:20:12 something else. So everything else can be split up, you can't split up a prime number. I like that the equivalent of an atom. And something else I didn't know. know about prime numbers because you think that they're kind of so randomly distributed if we've taken this long to work out what you know the pattern is is that all prime numbers if you square them are a multiple of 24 and then adding one now you just write that down not the really small one not the ones under five yeah yeah anything over five is oh god are we going to go through them all yeah 11 is 13 is seven 11 is
Starting point is 00:20:50 Yeah so they found this using the GIMPS The software And this is a weird thing The weird thing about GIMPS is If you go onto Google And type the word GIMPS into Google All of the first five things that you get Are about this prime number thing
Starting point is 00:21:10 The same is not true of Google Images This is amazing So cicadas, you know, there's that kind of Cicada in North America, which only comes up to the surface and breathes. Well, it's every prime number of years. So in some places it's every 13 years, in some places it's every 17 years, in some places it's another prime number of years. And which sounds ridiculous, but it was hypothesized in the article I read,
Starting point is 00:21:39 that that actually does make sense because if you come up in a prime number of years, you have the least chance of coinciding with predators, which also have like periodical patterns. because, so let's say you come up every eight years, then if you're hunted by a panther that appears every two years, then they're going to bump into you a lot. But if you're coming up every prime number of years, then you're not going to bump into predators every prime number of years.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Do you think there's a cicada that comes up every two to the 74 million years? And the only reason we haven't seen it is because, you know, you'd be pretty lucky to see that, wouldn't you? Yeah. I don't know what a cicada is. It's a little insect. Like a cricket. Yeah, like a cricket.
Starting point is 00:22:16 A cicada fact, there's only one cicada. in the UK. One species of cicada. Oh, not just one lonely cicada. Lonesome Trevor. There's only one species of cicada in the UK. It's called the New Forest Cicada.
Starting point is 00:22:32 And we think they live in the New Forest, but they might have died out, because no one's seen one for about 10 years. And you should be able to hear their call, but you can't really hear it because it's outside of human hearing range. But you can buy an app, and the app can hear the cicada call,
Starting point is 00:22:46 and so you can walk around the new forest with your app listening for cicadas and then if you find one then you'll have discovered that they still exist. Wow. That'd be cool, wouldn't they? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Yeah. So I didn't find any prime number stuff but I started looking into numbers of the week and there's a very famous set of numbers now. There's going to be a long list now. Six. No, there was this week a set of numbers which was, there was this massive lotto,
Starting point is 00:23:11 the big lottery draw that went and there was a story about this lady who thinks she's won the lottery, has found the ticket that she's won with all the numbers, but the barcode is missing. She put it in the washing machine, didn't she? Yeah, she put it in the washing machine. It's missing. It's one of those things where you think that must be the worst situation, right?
Starting point is 00:23:27 That you've won the lottery, and now you've not won it because you've lost the thing. And so I was looking into, is that genuinely the worst situation anyone's had in the lottery? And I found a guy that I think contends. Oh, really? Yeah, this guy won the lottery. Okay. Okay. But this is what led up to him winning the lottery.
Starting point is 00:23:44 His name is Franz Seller. He was born in Croatia. He was a teacher. He was born in 1929. In 1962, his train derailed and plunged into an icy river, and he managed to escape and not die. The next year in 1963, while flying, the door blew out, and he got sucked out of the plane, and he survived.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Oh, good. It was all good. Three years later, 1966, he's riding on a bunge. He's riding on a bunch. It's Australia. It's an Australian term. I was riding along a bunch, Mike. Whatever you do, don't check that of Urban Dictionary.
Starting point is 00:24:18 So he's riding on a bus and the bus suddenly... The bus plunges into a river. He gets out and survives. So this is 1962, 1963, 1966. He must take no public transport by this point. Exactly. He's in his car. He's in his car and it just blows up in flames
Starting point is 00:24:46 so he escapes and he's all right. So that's 1970. 1973. He's still weary of public transit. transport in his car. Once again, another fire blows up in his car, loses all his hair, manages to make it out. There's a whole nice period between 1973 and 1995 when nothing happens.
Starting point is 00:25:03 But he stayed at home, but then he went out and got hit by a bus. So that's 1995. Then in 1996, 1996, he's back in his car. He drove, and another, either was a truck or a car, is coming towards him. He swerves away. He manages to escape his car as it plunges over a cliff, lands in a tree and then the car goes 300 feet down and breaks into an icy river.
Starting point is 00:25:28 In 2003, he won the lotto. One million. That's divine justice. That's amazing. I think that's worse than losing your ticket and not winning. There were two other very bad lottery stories. So one couple, I think this was actually last year, Edwina and David Nilean, who had an a lotto app and they got the right numbers and they sent them up.
Starting point is 00:25:52 in the app and they'd won 35 million pounds and their app broke and it failed. So they had the photographic evidence that they tried to send it on the app and it only sent it after the deadline because they ran out of signals. If only they hadn't been using their phone to search for cicada noises in the new forest. Okay, let's move on to our final fact of the show and that is Chisinski. Yes, my fact is that in a press release about the new English language test for migrants, the British government misspelled the word language. But yeah, this is so that this has been a, you know, a big story over the last few weeks.
Starting point is 00:26:32 It's the new test for migrants and there's lots of controversy and people who, even if they're on spousal visas, if they fail these language tests, they might be made to leave the country. And it turns out the people who are releasing the press release, spell language with the A and the U the wrong way around. There was a very snotty reply from the government. the Prime Minister's official spokesman said All of us are open to mistakes at times The Prime Minister is fully confident that his team Speak English competently
Starting point is 00:26:57 Touched a bit of a note I went through I basically haven't researched that much of this Because I just went through trying to find the mistakes In all government Of the bits of legislation Over the last 50 years No I went
Starting point is 00:27:16 Well first of all the independent put together A list of 10 questions that are taken from the government's list of possible migrant language questions. And here's the independence introduction to the questions. Listen to the sentence. The questions below have been taken from practice exams for the B-1 test that those who need to prove their knowledge of the English language to gain their indefinite leave to remain...
Starting point is 00:27:36 Full stop. Oh, it's like a cliffhanger of a sentence. Full stop. And then, so one of the questions is, maybe I'm wrong about this, but it's multiple choice questions, and it's a complete end of this sentence. So one of them is,
Starting point is 00:27:52 have you finished with the newspaper and it's ABCD and the options are are... Is this to gain citizenship? Yeah, yeah, to gain citizenship. You have to say whether you finished with the newspaper. That's the only criteria. Just give the frickin' newspaper back. You can come in the country.
Starting point is 00:28:11 No, it's have you finished with a newspaper and then it's what is the grammatically correct ending to the sentence? Have you finished with the newspaper? Now, still, yet or already? Now, the answer they were... and I did the test, yet is the answer they want, already is completely correct. Yeah, if you want to be really passive-aggressive about it.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Yeah, you could say, you finished with that newspaper already? Well, yeah, but you can also say... No, no, it's not that. It's not that. It's the opposite of that. It's... So they want you to fall into the trap of the American, you know, have you finished with the newspaper already? But you could also just ask a valid question, have you finished with the newspaper already?
Starting point is 00:28:45 As in, have you read it that fast? Have you finished with the newspaper already? Oh, completely correct. You could also passive-aggressively say, well, have you finished? finished with the newspaper now? What could be more British doesn't make any sense? That's very funny.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Yeah. So my wife, who's Russian, she will have to take these tests quite soon. And she was trying out some questions from the citizenship test, which is like a general knowledge test. And she tried them out on me, and literally I got none of them right. Really? And my general
Starting point is 00:29:18 knowledge is not bad. It's all right. I brought a long one to test you, because I think your general knowledge is quite good. Okay. Well, One of the ones that she was asked in the practice test was what is a national dish of Wales? Oh. What? Coal.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Cole. Oh, yeah. Cool. Well, you might think that. According to the government... Well, what about so we do. Well, exactly. But according to the government, it's Welsh cakes. Sorry, fellas.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Sorry, guys. The home office will be sending a man. Welsh cakes. Yeah, apparently Welsh cakes. But the other thing is, um, if I'm If I want to become a citizen of Russia, I would have to take a Russian language test. And the Russian language test has all the normal things that you would expect. But you also have to be able to interpret hidden meanings.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Wow. That sounds cool. That sounds cool. You know, Bill Bryson released a new book, The Road to Little Dribling. In the beginning, he talks about taking a test to become a British citizen. He decided to become it. And he was saying that not only other mistakes in the test, but in the books, that guide you into how to take the test are just completely filled with mistakes.
Starting point is 00:30:30 One that he pointed out was they were talking about Anthony Hopkins and saying that he's someone to be proud of, as a British person, he's someone to be proud of. They spell his name wrong. And also, he's taken up American citizenship. He's not British anymore. Tina Turner is Swiss now. Is she? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:47 Wow. So I was looking into the news for other language messups over the last week. and I found one that happened in Sweden. They were having at their parliament a political debate about very serious issues, actually. It was like a really long debate. They made a mistake, though, of when they transmitted it,
Starting point is 00:31:07 they put the wrong subtitles onto the debate. So you had guys like Jean Borgland, who's the Minister of Education, looking really serious, saying something really serious, but the subtitles reading, I will build the best sandcastle in the galaxy. I'd vote for him And then you had Stefan Lofen, the Prime Minister
Starting point is 00:31:31 The Prime Minister going The latest invention The Fantastic Dinosaur submarine And then the Minister for Environment Going greetings earth creatures I have two pairs of boots One red pair and one yellow pair Which ones should I take?
Starting point is 00:31:52 I'm going to ask my doll The whole thing. I remember them where they got those original subtitles. Yeah, it was a cartoon animation about dinosaurs. Sounds great. You know that
Starting point is 00:32:08 Godzilla has just been awarded Japanese citizenship. It was done as a press sort of PR stunt, obviously. But it was a particular district of Tokyo that he got at a Shinjuku, which is a very cool, extremely busy one. I think that it's very near
Starting point is 00:32:24 the famous crossing in Tokyo, Shibuya, crossing. But they released the certificate which they'd done, and it said, previous visits to Shinjuku Ward, three, Godzilla, 1984, Godzilla versus King Gidora in 1991, and Godzilla Millennium, 1999. That's really good. We're going to have to wrap up in a sec. So, yeah, anything you want to... Just as you know, to get South Korean citizenship, the test requires you to sing the first four verses of the national anthem. Sing it in tune. Wow. Yeah. That's a tough gig, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:32:54 And the Dutch citizenship, you have to watch a video that includes beach nudity. What? Where's the phone? Do you know what? I'll do it even if they don't give me Dutch citizenship. It's because they're such a liberal country. They want to show you what to expect if you come to the Netherlands. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:16 Like if people come from other countries that are a bit more conservative, they might turn up into the Netherlands and think, wow, what's going on here? Beach nudity. So they want to show it so that you're not shots When you see it in real life So can you fail that Is it like if you get an erection Or you cry Then
Starting point is 00:33:32 Or both Feelings are confusing Edda Okay that's it Contact with any of us About the things we've said Over the course of this podcast We can be found on our Twitter account
Starting point is 00:34:02 So I'm on at Shreiberland James At Egg Shaped Andy At Andrew Hunter M Chazinsky You can email podcast at QI.com.
Starting point is 00:34:10 Yeah. Or you can go to at QI podcast or go to our site No Such Thing as a Fish.com. We've got all of our previous episodes up there.
Starting point is 00:34:17 We're going to be back again next week. Thank you so much for being here, guys. We'll see you then. Goodbye.

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