No Such Thing As A Fish - No Such Thing As Testicle-Retracting Sumo Wrestlers

Episode Date: August 8, 2014

Episode 21: This week in the QI office, Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm), Anna (@nosuchthing) and Alex (@alexbell) discuss freedom kissing, hippo castration, iceberg cow...boys and whether or not we should blow up the Moon.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 We run it on QI a few years ago. Yeah. Which was, there's no such thing as a fish. No, seriously. It's in the Oxford Dictionary of Underwater Life. He says it right there. First paragraph, No Such Thing is a Fish. Hello, and welcome to another episode of No Such Thing as a Fish, a weekly podcast,
Starting point is 00:00:24 coming to you from the QI offices in Covent Garden. My name is Dan Shriver. I'm sitting here with four other elves. I've got Andy Murray, James Harkin, Anna Chisinski, and all. on fact-checking duties, Alex Bell. So once again, we've gathered around the microphone with our favorite facts from the last seven days. And in no particular order, here we go.
Starting point is 00:00:43 Anna, fact number one. My fact is that made in Germany product labels were originally intended to put people off buying the product. It was a law pass in England in 1887, which forced foreign companies to put labels saying where the product had been made on their items because British companies were worried about German knock-off products flooding their markets.
Starting point is 00:01:03 and being cheap and tacky. Typical inferior Germans. Exactly. The poor manufacturing base. Terrible footballing skills. Apparently it was mainly to say the Sheffield Coutlery industry. Obviously it's ironic because made in Germany
Starting point is 00:01:15 very, very quickly became a stamp of very high quality. So true Fanta is German. It became popular during Nazi regime. It wasn't invented specifically for it. Oh, I thought Hitler commissioned it. I thought he wanted a German soft drink. That's what people think. But it became popular then, but it wasn't invented.
Starting point is 00:01:33 specifically by Hitler. That would be surprising. I find it very weird when countries decide that their products have to be patriotic or, like, you know, the classic thing during the war in Iraq, when America and France fell out at Freedom Fries became the thing. And I love the story of Freedom Fries, because it was one guy, it was a Republican chairman called Bob Ney. and he renamed the menus of three congressional cafeterias with freedom fries. That's how it started. And then it just spread from that. Yeah, and he didn't need to tell anyone about it because he has control over the cafeterias.
Starting point is 00:02:11 So he just said, this is happening. And so they changed it. Isn't that amazing? He has control. Yeah. Fascistic imposition of freedom-based food names. Yeah, yeah. I did read a reference to supposedly French kissing.
Starting point is 00:02:24 A couple of real zealots decided they were now going to do only freedom kissing. Something that caught on either. Freedom toast as well for a French toast. He also changed that on the menu. That didn't get as much press. Freedom bread. You can make the substitution for anything, which is French. New Freedom movie starring Gerard Depadieu.
Starting point is 00:02:42 Dawn Freedom, of course, famous Swedish comedians. Apparently they boycotted French's mustard, even though it's owned by a British company and it's named after an American guy called Mr. French. That's right. He actually came out and said, please don't boycott us. It's just a surname of our family. Have you guys heard of Star-Spangled Ice Cream?
Starting point is 00:03:02 No. We heard this. This is brilliant. So it was conservative Americans had an ice cream company, and they gave their ice cream's punning names. So, for instance, the mint ice cream was called Smaller Govan Mint. Oh. So can you guess what their chocolate ice cream was called? During the bombardment of Afghanistan, well, it was called chalk and ore.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Oh. Even better, the vanilla ice cream. was called, I hate the French for no one. But it gets right to the point. Just back to the Freedom Fries thing very quickly, it was really nice. There was a counter, so when people were doing the Freedom Prize thing,
Starting point is 00:03:41 there was a cafe in Santa Cruz, which changed their menu of fries to impeach George W. Bush fries, which is a really nice response to that. Speaking of labels, there are these American handbags, Tom Bin handbags. And they have washing instructions
Starting point is 00:03:56 in English and French that were made during the Bush era. and the English ones are perfectly normal, and then when you read them in French, they say, do not bleach, do not dry and dry, do not iron. We are sorry our president is an idiot. We did not vote for him on all the bags. That's great. That's lovely.
Starting point is 00:04:11 In the First World War, there's exactly the same thing happened with all German-named products in the USA. So, Sourcrowt was called Liberty Cabbage. And that was renamed as a result of a delegation petitioning the Federal Food Administration. They said that Sourcrowcout Consumption had decreased by 75% since 1914 over the course of the war. And they said, look, we've got 400 tons of it in New York alone on our hands. Please rename it so that we can actually sell some of this stuff.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Isn't that cool? Yeah. German measles became Liberty measles. Yeah. Makes them sound more fun than they are. Although that's sort of on the fringe of, you know, freedom kissing or whatever. I was thinking about on Germany, because obviously made in Germany now is something that's associated with high quality.
Starting point is 00:04:53 And in fact, the obverse to my original fact, which is that made in Germany was imposed on the Germans by the English. Now the EU regulations are saying that labelling should be more accurate. So if actually most of the work on a product has done in Bangladesh and the most expensive part comes from India, then you're not allowed to say made in Germany because you're a German company. And Germans are saying that's really unfair. One of the reasons people buy our products is because it says made in Germany because they're really good. Anyway, this is a long-winded way of saying German economy is great and maybe has something to do with the fact that their word for borrow is the same as their word for guilt. So they obviously have really, really good
Starting point is 00:05:27 borrowing rates. Personal borrowing is very low. Because it's shameful. It's shameful. Every time you borrow, you have to say the word guilt. That wasn't really roundabout way of putting up. It was, wasn't it? Good. I think I wanted to inform people about the EU regulation at the same time as rounding enough. No one can say you didn't do that. I think I did. So I was looking into Made in China as a label. I was quite really surprised by stuff that they produce. 85% of all artificial Christmas trees are from China. Yeah, really?
Starting point is 00:06:00 Other things that are made in China, the US uniforms for the 2012 Olympics. Really? Yeah, and also, in 2008, police in China said they discovered a factory making free Tibet flags. Yeah, but apparently the workers at the factory said they thought
Starting point is 00:06:16 they were just making colourful flags, they didn't know the significance of them. So the Made in China label is exactly the same as made in Germany, is in Japan forced it on the Chinese to say, to discourage people from buying Chinese products shortly afterwards. No way.
Starting point is 00:06:28 I quite like funny labels on stuff, and I just remembered that the iPod shuffle when it first came out on its little safety label said, do not eat iPod shuffle, which was useful. My sister bought a pram for her first kid, Sophia, and it was this huge box, and on the side of the box, it has a picture of a baby saying baby not included. I can't tell if it was a joke. That's funny.
Starting point is 00:06:53 All right, we should wrap up on this one. Alex, have you got anything to add? Going back to soft drinks. Fanta was invented actually by Coca-Cola because they couldn't import their syrup into Nazi Germany. So they were trying to make up a drink using the leftovers that were available. Okay, time for fact number two.
Starting point is 00:07:11 And that is my fact. And my fact this week is in 1991, a professor at Iowa State University proposed that we could solve virtually every problem of human existence by blowing up the moon. Not every problem. This is what he said. Not losing the remote.
Starting point is 00:07:25 I think that was included. I think he went literally through. Wow. So what problems are we solving and how? Well, the problems range from weather problems to famine to disease. Now, it has been pointed out by most scientists alive that this is not the case. It would not solve the problems. In fact, NASA was saying that if we did blow up the moon, most likely part of the exploded
Starting point is 00:07:49 moon would come back as a meteorite impacting on Earth and causing sufficient damage to extinguish all life. So actually, slightly the reverse effect of what he said. No, it kind of would solve all our problems to be gone. We wouldn't have any problems anymore. That's true. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:05 He thought, and his name was Professor Alexander Abian, his idea was that you would do it remotely from Earth. So you would put explosives into the moon and just push a button. When did you say he said that? In 1991. Oh, right. It's quite recent then. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:18 He's dead now, unfortunately. And his children say that he was a very sane man. So this is not as if he was a lunatic. He was a very much loved mathematics professor at his university. There have been a lot of wacky suggestions about how to save the world over the years, haven't there? Some of them you've got to admire, and apparently some of them could work. So one idea is that we wrap Greenland up in a blanket. You guys read this?
Starting point is 00:08:41 No, no. So the problem is, so all the Greenland's ice is melting. That's obviously a bit of an issue. So in 2009, a bunch of geoengineers covered Greenland in this big white blanket, and it's meant to reflect the sun. it means that the sun doesn't heat up and melt the ice. And it was surprisingly successful, more successful than predicted, but it would cost about a trillion dollars to do it to the entirety of Greenland.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Pretty weird. It's strange that putting a duvet on something would cool it down. Yeah, it is. You'd think it would just melt it. But in a hot country, if you've got the sun blazing in on you and you've hired under a duvet here, I think it works. Greenland is not a very hot country? No. That's a fair point.
Starting point is 00:09:20 So does the theory work or not? Yeah, it did work. But it's just that it's way to. expensive to be at all feasible. Yeah. My favorite fact about Greenland is that until quite recently, 10% of the whole population lived in the same apartment block. What?
Starting point is 00:09:35 No, one, one percent. Was it 1%? Yeah, it was something like 400 people out of 40,000, I think. Yeah, something like that. Isn't that cool? Yeah, that's really cool. It's called Block K, I think, or something like that. Block P.
Starting point is 00:09:47 I got that completely wrong, didn't I? I knew there was a fact in there somewhere. So, did we work out what kind of problems he was going to solve? It was one of those things where he kind of just made the statement. He didn't publish a paper on it or anything. He just kind of loosely gave the territories. And it was stuff like the weather pattern. He didn't really go into it much, though.
Starting point is 00:10:06 Tides. Been cut off at high tide on a beach. It's always a nightmare. That's always a nightmare. That's going to stop. Yeah. Losing your remote. That was a big part of his decision.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Would there be any tides left without the moon? Yeah, because the sun does, has tidal fast. So there are solar tides as well? Yeah, it just would mean that it would be high tide at, at midday every day. Everywhere in the world where you were, if it was midday, it'd be high tide. Oh, that's so boring.
Starting point is 00:10:30 It's like decimalization, isn't it? So dope. All those tied timetables that don't have to be reprinted as well. The crazy pounds, shilling and pence world of the moon. Mollusk's reproductive organs grow and shrink according to the phases of the moon.
Starting point is 00:10:45 So if there was no moon, would they stay big or stay small? It depends when you blew up the moon. Yeah. So there'd be a powerful lobby from the Mollus community to blow it up when they were big. Is that like the wind changing? When the moon blows up, your face...
Starting point is 00:11:00 You'll be stuck that way. Your testicle will remain the same size forever. I think we shouldn't be too judgmental, though, should be? Because I think he... Abian, is that what he was called? When he died, he said, those critics who dismissed my ideas are very close to those who dismissed Galileo.
Starting point is 00:11:16 And it was true, you know, when Galileo was thinking that. So maybe 300 years, when the moon's just in shattered pieces across the universe. I don't think Galileo ever proposed blowing up the moon. It wasn't smart enough. Call me Captain Skeptical. There was a plan to do a nuclear explosion on the moon, wasn't there, by America, as a show of might to the Russians. Wow. Yeah, it was like a PR exercise. God, that is fascinating. Sort of pointlessly exploding something. Yeah, I mean, it wouldn't have blown up the moon. It would have just made a bit of a flash. The idea was, the Russians would
Starting point is 00:11:48 look up and go, oh my God, they blew up a bit of the moon. They must be a lot. better than us. Oh, they've got terrible aim. Were they trying to hit us there? Great. Yes, in Europe. Come on. They can't hit a bundle. I, of course, I'm shaking my head, because I know that is going to say something about
Starting point is 00:12:08 yeties or vampires. No, it's my favorite book of recent times that I purchased, which is called Who Built the Moon? And it's a really lovely theory that the Moon is artificial because back when the rocks were originally brought back from NASA's Apollo 11 mission,
Starting point is 00:12:24 the geologists who was studying the rocks said... This says made in China. No, they said that basically the moon is just... It's such a weird thing the moon. The way it sits, the position it sits in, the perfectness of the distance between the sun and the earth,
Starting point is 00:12:40 and just all the features that it allows for the tides and all that. It's easier to prove it doesn't exist than to prove it does exist. There are people called ecosexuals. Do you know about these guys? No. What's an ecosafshund? Is it people who like having sex with the planet?
Starting point is 00:12:59 Yes. In a way. There are people who have married the moon. Oh, wow. There were also people who married the Earth, and they interviewed these people, and they said there were 450 of us, and were all married to the Earth.
Starting point is 00:13:13 Has anyone had a divorce to the Earth because they fell in love with the Moon? I don't think so. Because actually, these people who married the Moon and married the Earth, They also married the Appalachian Mountains and some snow in Ottawa. I'm tiring of these people. And when they go to Spain later this summer, according to the news report,
Starting point is 00:13:30 they plan to marry some hunks of coal in the city of Guijon. These people are alive now? So they're all sluts, basically. It's just putting themselves out there, left right and centre. Imagine the wedding ceremony, though, where you've got the person standing on one side of the altar and the entire earth on the other side of the island. Where do the guests sit?
Starting point is 00:13:49 Or a mountain range. You may now kiss the snow The wedding ended tragically early when the groom melted So could we survive without the moon? Is that at all possible? I don't think so I doubt it. There would be earthquakes, wouldn't there, and volcanoes?
Starting point is 00:14:09 One theory is that the Earth's rotational axis is as if it just disappeared That the Earth rotational axis would go way off And provoke drastic climate change Oh yeah, because doesn't the moon stop us from wobbling? Like there's a natural wobble of planets. And because we have the moon, it steadies the Earth. And without that, I think it would cause dramatic climate change.
Starting point is 00:14:32 Yeah. Probably like what happened to Mars. Oh, really? I think so, like, as in we would end up with no atmosphere. We're so lucky to have the moon. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Moon.
Starting point is 00:14:41 And your friend, Dan, is trying to destroy it. No, he wants to help. There's an amazing thing. And Alex, you'll probably have to help me find. the proper fact about this, but there was a story about when Apollo 10 went around the backside of the moon. So you know how you lose contact with the Earth because you can't get any signal. It's like 02 on a regular day. It's like this is a terrible signal. So they have a few minutes behind the moon. And the astronauts in Apollo 10, as they were going around the moon, they started
Starting point is 00:15:11 hearing this amazing orchestra and they couldn't explain it. And what's really interesting is it's only recently that they've declassified these papers. And the conversation that they had was they were going, we can't tell everyone back on Earth that we're hearing this because they just won't believe us. That will be our career over if we suddenly claim to hear this orchestra. It took them years to work out what it was. It turns out that it was a beam that was coming off from Saturn, I think it was. Alex, you might have to help me on that one there. I found a video about the phenomenon, and it obviously happened, but I can't find anything about an explanation.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Eugene Senan described it several times as an out-of-spacied style type music. He probably just swallowed his iPod Nano. Patrick Moore was a keen musician. Was he? He was a Glockenspiel player. Xylophonist. Don't confuse Glockenshiel's and xylophones. He played a really fun prank in 1976 on April 1st,
Starting point is 00:16:04 because obviously he did his radio program. What was it called? Sky at night. Sky at night. But on April the 1st, 1976 Patrick Moore told a radio audience that unusual planetary alignment would cause people on Earth
Starting point is 00:16:14 to weigh a little bit less at 947 in the morning and that if everyone jumped in the air, they'd experience a strange sensation of weightlessness. Lots of people did it, and they immediately cooled up the radio to say, hey, it happened, I felt it. I was weightless for a second. Yeah, people claim they actually levitated.
Starting point is 00:16:29 Yeah, yeah. That's great. It's such a good hoax. I love it. I like the fact that the first person to play golf, probably the only person to play golf on the moon, Alan Shepard missed it on his first attempt. Not missed his shot?
Starting point is 00:16:41 Yeah, he missed the shot. To be fair, he was in a space suit, which I guess it's harder to hit a golf ball. One thing I really, really like, that when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin first landed on the moon, they just landed. NASA got in touch with them and ordered them to eat a meal and go to sleep. Can you imagine having just landed on the moon of being told to go to bed? Let's have an app.
Starting point is 00:16:59 Yeah, it's have an app. Can we get to the moon? This is what we do. We don't deserve to be contacted by other species. Okay, time for fact number three, and that is James Harkin. Okay, my fact this week is something I read on mental floss.com, and it is that In New York City until 1925, drivers going east or west stopped at an amber light and drove on green, while drivers going north or south drove on an amber light and stopped on green. So it was it like a traffic light that had no back?
Starting point is 00:17:35 Yeah, you could see it from all different directions. But you'd have to know whether you're going east or west or north or south, which sounds... But in New York, I suppose that's easier than London, which has no grid system for most of it. Yeah. Easier. Less easy than just saying across the city, red means stop. Why did they do? They must have had a reason for splitting it up like that.
Starting point is 00:17:56 I don't know. I think it's because they use the same lights for people going in each directions. So when it was on amber, these guys could go. And when it was on green, these guys could go. But it was the same light. Good thing there were no diagonals in New York as well. What the hell do they do? Similar kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:18:12 In London, the circle line on the underground used to be owned by two different companies, i.e. the clockwise bit was owned by one and the anti-clockwise was owned by another. And you had to get a separate ticket from a different office. Sometimes the companies would try and sell you a ticket so you'd go around 30 stops their way rather than go back three stops with the other companies. Wow. Sounds like Journey Planner on TFL. I can't have to take seven items of transport to get there.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Who is Alex? Was it you yesterday who's saying that the most popular tube journey is Covent Garden to Leicester Square? It's the most popular one and the shortest, isn't it? The most commonly travelled. Unless you take the anti-clock quiet route, in which case. It's a pretty long way. It's a pretty long way. During the Cultural Revolution in China, they wanted to change it so that green meant stop and red meant goat,
Starting point is 00:19:01 because obviously red was a much more positive colour in those days. It's a very strong colour. What I love about the Cultural Revolution, that fact, about how they tried to kill all the sparrows because they were eating all the crops. Do you remember that? I think that was the Great Leap Forward. Was it? Yes.
Starting point is 00:19:16 It wasn't a mile, yeah. So what did they do? There were like half a billion sparrows in China, and they had a scheme where everyone was encouraged to kill them all. And so everyone killed all the sparrows, and then that's great because they're not eating the crops anymore, but they didn't realize that actually the sparrows were eating all the insects that were eating the crops.
Starting point is 00:19:33 So they got rid of the sparrows, and then all the crops died because they were eaten by insects instead. Fools. People never anticipate introductions and culling. People never seem to anticipate the natural knock-on effect. No, exactly, even though it happens every time. Yeah. I really like that guy who wanted to introduce to America, every single bird mentioned in Shakespeare.
Starting point is 00:19:50 And he introduced tons of them, and one of them is now the biggest pest in America. I can't know which one it is. Is it called Skyelin or something like that? Yeah, something like that. Yeah. I have an amazing sparrow fact that I found yesterday. I'm so glad this has come up. I read this in a Carl Sagan book.
Starting point is 00:20:05 I was in foils and just flipped it open to random page. And it was that sparrow's testicles are a millimeter long and weigh one milligram. So I tweeted that yesterday, and Case Molaker, who is the Natural History Museum in Rotterdam's head curator, he got back to me saying that in April and May, the sparrow's testicles will grow to the size of a kidney bean from a millimeter. Oh, my days. That's like a... What's that? Like a thousand times. I had a full moon. I read yesterday that also on testicle news, that that wasn't the website. That wasn't the website. So I read that hippos can hide the testicles around their body. What?
Starting point is 00:20:51 Like on their shoulder? In a pocket? Yeah, no. What they can do is they can retract them up to a foot inside their body. And the reason that they do it is because when hippos used to fight each other or when hippos do fight each other, they often go for the testicles. And so it's evolved as kind of an evolutionary way of moving their testicles out of the way. And it's a real problem if you're trying to castrate them.
Starting point is 00:21:12 Can't believe Hippos have beaten you guys to it Surely you wish that you'd evolve Oh WWF wrestlers do it That's the Okay right This is This goes back to Ian Fleming Because in one of his books
Starting point is 00:21:27 I think it's in You Only Live Twice Bond's getting his instructions from M And M says Be careful of sumer wrestlers in Japan Because they can all withdraw their testicles into their body Why be careful Watch out for those testicle
Starting point is 00:21:42 retractors. You'll die of shock. There are some non-testicles where you expect to see testicles, bond. Just prepare yourself. But can they? No, like, so humans can't. No, but can't you, I've not tried, but I thought the idea was that they sort of shoved them into themselves.
Starting point is 00:21:58 If I had a half hour with you, Andy. And I had a lot of determined. But the fact that I'm kind of, we've slightly jumped past, which I love way more, is that hippos kick each other in the balls. No, go can bite.
Starting point is 00:22:12 Bite their balls. Oh, wow. Because if you think about it, it's a good... If you're fighting someone for sexual reasons, as in you're trying to get the lady hippo, then a good way of going against the guy is to bite his testicles off because then he can't mate with the female. Two birds, one stone?
Starting point is 00:22:28 So you sort of cripple him and also... One bird, no stones. I think we should maybe go back to traffic lights. Yeah, sure. I was reading about the history of signs and went the two people who standardised signposts in the UK. It's pretty thrilling reading. Were Jock Kinnear and Margaret Calvert in the 1950s.
Starting point is 00:22:48 But one of the things they was uproar about when they were standardising signposts was signs had usually been in capital letters and their proposal to put them in lower case, apparently caused outrage in the sign making community. Are they in lower case? I're up a case now. I can't even visualize. They decided because it's easier to read from a distance because capitals can look all sort of the same if you're at a distance. And they were tasked to find the most boring font available.
Starting point is 00:23:10 to them so it wasn't distracting for drivers. And what did they go with? And it's called motorist font. That does sound boring, to be fair. I like the way that before they standardized it, they would have weird, like, signs. There was, the sign for schools used to be a flaming torch of knowledge. Oh. Brilliant.
Starting point is 00:23:30 I want to live in a country where those are the symbols. It's great, isn't it? But imagine driving up the road and you see a flaming torch. The school is not the first place you think of. Danger, fire. Turn around. I mean, actually, the sign is. The sign for schools now, the girl in that picture is, or children crossing,
Starting point is 00:23:47 is based on the woman Margaret, who standardised the schools, which I don't know how it's based on her because it's the most generic girl picture ever. Yeah, and the sign for farm animals is based on her family cow, which was called Patience. So now we know that the cow on those farm signs is called Patience. Wonderful. Alex, have you got anything to add? Yes, a couple of things very quickly. It was Eugene Sheiflin, Sheiflin, in 18.
Starting point is 00:24:10 who released a load of birds in the Central Park. They were all mentioned in Shakespeare. He let Bullfinches, Chaffinches, nightingles and skylocks into the park. But it was the Starlings that he released, which have now grown to a population of about 2 billion. Wow. Massive pest.
Starting point is 00:24:25 In British Columbia is the second largest producer of blueberries, and they just eat all the blueberries. Sounds a bit of a nightmare. It was in You Only Live Twice that Bond was being taught how to be Japanese and his teacher told him that Simaresses can retract their testicles, but it's as far as I can tell, a complete myth. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:40 like it for artificially doing it or otherwise. Again, half an hour with me and Andy in a room. Okay, time for a final fact of the show. And that is you, Andy Murray. My effect is that there are companies which lassoo icebergs to stop them hitting oil rigs. That's really good. How cool is that?
Starting point is 00:25:02 That's very cool. So when you say lasso, do they do the cowboy thing if they just throw a rope at it? They just throw a rope and they say, Yeeha, And then they brand it, which doesn't work because... It melts. It melts. It's not exactly like the cowboy thing, but basically a ship circumnavigates an iceberg with a rope.
Starting point is 00:25:20 See what I mean? So it ties it on at one point. It goes around the circumference and then reattaches it and just tows it. You don't have to tow it more than a few degrees off course to ensure that it doesn't hit an oil rig. But it's really clever. And half the battle is in knowing where icebergs are and checking how they're floating.
Starting point is 00:25:36 And so they observe the sky, or they observe the sea rather, this guys and check what's moving where. If any icebergs do need to be moved, then they either... They call a cowboy, yeah. That started with the Titanic, didn't it? It was the fact that the iceberg hitting the Titanic led to them going, we need to monitor these things now. And they started putting in place the system that we now have to work out where they all are.
Starting point is 00:26:00 The International Ice Patrol, which I just really like as a name. Fantastic organization. Yeah. That's good. But I like the fact that, yeah, after the Titanic, they were just a bunch of guys in boats were sent out to check where icebergs were, so I assume they just kept crashing into icebergs. I'm going, well, there's one here. Got another one.
Starting point is 00:26:15 You know, they have a photo or two photos that they think potentially was the iceberg that the Titanic crashed into. It's got red paint along the side, so there's two icebergs that definitely had paint. And so the pictures were taken just for that reason because they thought, oh, wow, how curious. They didn't know that the Titanic incident had happened, which sounds weird, but true, the two boats, it was a German boat. They had no idea.
Starting point is 00:26:38 I read an amazing article on Wired, which was a biography of the iceberg that hit the Titanic, as much as you could speculate. They reckon it started in Greenland. Basically, every year, there's about 15 to 30 icebergs that are carved from the glaciers, and they reckon only about 1% of those make it to the Atlantic. And then they gradually melt, and so they eventually disappeared. So had the Titanic been going a few years later, it might not have been there at all. I kind of like the idea of the iceberg then going on to live a normal life. Yeah, with their eco-sexual husband
Starting point is 00:27:10 Well, it would also have been 3,000 years old Because when it fell as snow Onto onto the Arctic It would have been packed And then very slowly moved out From the centre of course That's an interesting life
Starting point is 00:27:22 To have nothing happen for 3,000 years And then you run into the Titanic Yeah, his mates must think he's super cool That's the thing they were saying It was probably born as an iceberg Roughly at the same time as Tutankar moon Right That's so nice
Starting point is 00:27:36 That was happening while and then it just found its way down to the Atlantic and eventually just hit the really amazing. I guess it could be like, say, some sweat from Tutankhamun went up into the atmosphere, it turned into snow, fell down, waited there for 3,000 years and then hit the Titanic. So I'll claim is that Tudan Amun sunk the Titanic. That should be your fact on these. That is that conspiracy.
Starting point is 00:27:59 Yeah, no, no, no, but that was the big thing that there was stuff from, it's a huge myth from back in the day that Tuton Carmoon's stuff from. the Howard Carter finding was on the Titanic, and it was the curse that brought it down. Yeah. Wow. You guys must know that. That was one of the classic childhoods.
Starting point is 00:28:15 Classic childhood. Yeah, like, that was... Other children were told bedtime stories. Dan was told conspiracy theories in his cradle. Raised in terror. The thing is, Dan, little Dan, the lizards are behind it all. Sleep well. It is weird to think that, yeah, you might have molecules of water
Starting point is 00:28:31 that were in the Titanic iceberg in you now. Do you guys know about the world's largest iceberg? No. It's about the size of Jamaica, but half the size of Wales. And it carved off in the year 2000. And they think that there's probably still bits of it that haven't melted. Wow. That was that an Antarctic one?
Starting point is 00:28:51 Yeah, it was called Iceberg B-15. Catchy. They don't have very creative names, icebergs. Like hurricanes. They have B-50, D-12, D-14. D-12. Do they rap a lot? They do.
Starting point is 00:29:03 Yeah. I was looking at oil rigs. America's third largest oil field is LA and it's completely concealed so if most oil fields you picture are like those big pylons LA is full of secret oil rigs so LA started sort of hippifying around I think the 1930s and people who had built these huge oil rig buildings
Starting point is 00:29:21 they're disguised as normal buildings in LA and they're all over Hollywood and there are just buildings all over LA which look like normal concrete buildings and inside they're sucking up you know hundreds of thousands of gallons of oil transformers of the oil industry are they towing an iceberg They've done some computer models to see if it's feasible
Starting point is 00:29:39 to tow an iceberg from the Arctic down to Africa to give people drinking water and they think that you could take an iceberg from Newfoundland to the northwest coast of Africa it would take five months and would retain more than 60% of the iceberg's mass. If it was the cheapest way, it might have been tried. They did try it? Oh, they did they?
Starting point is 00:30:00 It was tried. Wow. Yeah, in the second half of the 19th century, smaller icebergs were. routinely taken up to Peru for refrigeration in the brewing business. God. Oh, from the South Pole? Yes, from the South Pole.
Starting point is 00:30:13 So where do they keep them? Is they're like an African harbour where they just have loads of icebergs sitting there? Must look so bizarre. It's not only icebergs that we're lassoing. NASA is investing in a project to lassoon an asteroid using a robotic space lasso. Lassoing an asteroid into lunar orbit to make sure it orbits the moon so that it hopes that by 2025 we're going to be able to use it. Astronauts will be able to use it as a way station from which to extract consumables on the way to Mars. That sounds like the worst idea I've ever
Starting point is 00:30:43 heard. We've already established that losing the moon would solve all our problems and now we're saying let's bring another moon in. Yeah. A moon for the moon. Okay, that's it for this week's podcast. Thanks everyone for listening. If you want to get in contact with any of us, you can do so on our Twitter accounts. I'm on at Shriverland. James At egg-shaped Alex At Alex Bell
Starting point is 00:31:05 underscore Andy at Andrew Hunter M and Anna You can email me on podcast at QI.com Or you can go to our QI.com
Starting point is 00:31:14 slash podcast page where she and Alex compile all of the extra stuff that we've been talking about from this episode
Starting point is 00:31:20 and we're going to be back again next week with another episode so stay tuned we'll see you then goodbye Okay
Starting point is 00:31:29 everyone else is left apart from me and Anna we're the only ones left in the office because everyone else has gone to Edinburgh, but if you want to see any of the guys in Edinburgh, you can see Andy. He has two shows. One is called Ostentatious, and the other is called Foliadur, and they are improvised comedy shows. And Dan will be doing his one-hour show, which is called Cockblocked from Outer Space, and he will also be producing the Museum of Curiosity Life. So if anyone is in Edinburgh,
Starting point is 00:31:58 then go and catch those. Thank you.

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