No Such Thing As A Fish - No Such Thing As The Human Cigarette

Episode Date: January 16, 2015

Episode 43 - James, Andy, Anna and Alex discuss tiger selfies, dog-drawn prams, a cow's best friend and a dolphin's worst enemy.

Hello and welcome to another edition of No Such Thing as a Fish, a weekly podcast coming from the QI offices in Covent Garden. My name's Andy and I'm sitting here with three of the regular elves, James Harkin, Alex Bell and Anna Tijinsky. And we've gathered our favourite facts from the last seven days and we're now going to talk about them in no particular order. First fact is Alex. Okay, my fact is, cows have. have friends and they get sad when you separate them. Oh. Are they cow friends?

Yeah, so basically, Northampton University did a study. So cows are herd animals, obviously. And seen. Yeah. Yeah, so they live in a herd, but they get separated a lot because, you know, they need to be milk. They need to be taken to the vets, etc. And Northampton University did a study where they looked at cows when they were in a field and monitored all their behaviour to see which cows hung out with which other cows.

and then they separated them out into different combinations so sometimes they'd be removed from the herd in pairs and sometimes they'd be with a cow they'd never hung out with before or sometimes they'd be with their best friend I don't know how we've worked that out bracelets do they wear bracelets yeah and sometimes they were on their own and each time their heart rates and cortisol levels were monitored

and from that apparently we can work out whether cows get stressed or not and cortisol we should say is the stress hormone is that right? Apparently there's quite a high level of stress with integrating into a new herd if you take a cow and you put it into... I was going to say,

how stressful could it be being a cow? Well, very. Fair enough. If you know what your demise is going to be, I would say, very, but they don't. Given how little is going on in their lives, I think any change is pretty stressful. I mean, if you're moving from one field to the other,

that's probably groundbreaking to them. You think about it. Yeah. Yeah, so it's hard to tell if that counts as a friend. Yeah, we're kind of anthropomorphizing them. I think elephants always feel like they're the clothes that we're the ones that we're most justified in anthropomorphising because they have, they mainly have a weirdly human attitude towards their dead, don't they? They mourn, don't they?

Yeah, they mourn their dead and they bury them sometimes with leaves and earth, and they'll come back to visit where the elephant died, the family member died. The thing about elephant graveyards, is that a myth or is that real? That is a myth, yeah. Yeah, so that's the idea that the elephants will go to a certain place to die, and then you'll find lots of bones there because it's a special, place for elephants. But you'd feel terrible if you were an elephant and everyone's everyone else said, hey, come on, we're going to the elephant graveyard. And you said, why? They said, no reason.

That's like the cartoon, the Daily Mash of the Turkey, which is saying, just before Christmas, it's a bubble, speech bubble coming out of the turkey's mouth saying, hey guys, so are you doing anything for a new year? I agree. Real sad. But elephants, something really weird about elephants are on it, is if you show them a piece of ivory and then a piece of wood, they're get much more agitated by the ivory. And if you show them an elephant skull and then the skull of another large arm, like a hippo skull,

they're much more agitated by the elephant skull. Really? Which seems... Elephant skulls are quite scary, though, aren't they? Because they have, like, a big hole. Yes. That is true.

The idea is that's where Cyclops myth might have come from. Oh, really? Because it looks like there's a massive eye hole in the middle, but actually it's where the trunk comes out from. Yeah. Cow skulls only have, they only have bottom teeth. So we have two sets of teeth,

obviously, as in the top teeth and bottom teeth. They only have bottom teeth. and where the top teeth should be, there's just a sort of long area of bone. So they grind up what they eat with teeth. Cows don't have upper teeth? So basically, I was looking into how the digestive system of a cow. So they're ruminants, which means that they basically ferment the grass first. So they pick up the grass by, they actually curl their tongues round the grass

instead of ripping it up with their teeth, which I think is really interesting. Then they chew it. Then it goes down into her stomach and sits there for oil and ferments for a bit. So they get nutrients out. And then they regurgitate it back into their mouth. and chew it some more, which is the ruminating bit, and that's cud now, so that's where chewing the cud comes from, and then they sort of it again.

Winding your tongue around a blade of grass is quite sexy, isn't it? Speak for yourself. I've never seen a woman doing that. I need to go on more picnics. I bet cows tie cherries and knots as a final. That's what I was thinking of. What's that? You know, when you tie cherry in a knot with your tongue,

and then that's kind of shows that you're... Yeah, cherry stalk. That sounds incredibly difficult, and I don't think anyone... It's not that hard. I can do that. No, yeah, yeah. It's not as hard as you mean. Once you learn how to do it, it's pretty easy.

And you're a bay bagnet then. Yeah. I can also pick up blades of grass with my tongues. Another animal which has friends is sharks, if you can believe. Sharks have friends. I don't believe that. Oh, okay. Some scientists analyzed a group of a particular species of sharks,

which swim around together, and they couldn't work out if they were swimming together because there were just food sources which were close to each other or their home ranges were in the same place. But they discovered that actually some shark preferred the company of certain other sharks and actively avoided other ones, even though they were all in the same area if their territories overlaps. So they've included these sharks basically have friends. It could be, it could be that they have friends or it could be that they just have enemies and they're hanging around these other guys because they're not enemies. What's the definition of an enemy or a friend.

True. Yeah. This is, it is quite interesting. They're like, why would animals have friends? And there must be an evolutionary reason for it. And I read two possible explanations I'd never heard before. So one of them was the enemy's enemy thing. And evidence for that is in dolphins who, there were two dolphins who had avoided each other.

So they didn't particularly like each other. And then as soon as another dolphin came along that wasn't part of their group and that was effectively an enemy to both of them, those first two dolphins started hanging out with each other became bestest buddies. because suddenly they unite against their common enemy. So what I feel is happening with this podcast, actually. I'm the new guy, and you're all gangning up on me and being horrible.

Shut up, Alex. Okay. But the other good explanation I thought about why animals are friends to be attracted to the opposite sex. So they studied macaques, and there was a macaque who was super attractive, like really good physical build, etc. But he wasn't very good at making friends with other males, and women stopped shagging him.

So same as with humans, I guess. If someone's unpopular... Again, we need to say female macaques. I think just going back to the dolphins for a second they hang out in pods I think to feed though don't they because they swim around in a circle making bubbles and trapping fish in those bubbles so that they can eat them

so that's kind of a useful reason for having friends as well I think the smallest unit of dolphins is two or three males and they club up to guard the females basically that they perceive as being theirs and then several of those little units will group together to steal females from other males. But sometimes two of those, even larger units,

will club up and form a kind of coalition, even though normally they're rivals. Wow. Then there must come an awkward moment where the dolphins have to decide which one of them actually gets to copulate with the female. Well, dolphins have a very varied sex life. So they can all do it, you're saying.

Yeah. They have blowhole sex. And they have all kinds of sex. Blowhole jobs. Okay, there is one of the same. sign that could be an indicator that animals are friends with each other, which is they measured the levels of oxytocin inside them, which is known in humans as the love hormone, and if you have it, you are more inclined to trust other people and love them. And they tested, this is interspecies

friendships, so that's very exciting. Oh, like Disney film friendships. Yeah, exactly, yeah. They tested a terrier and a goat, which were both young males, and they were used to playing and having playfights and sort of playfully nipping each other and rolling around in this stuff. And so they played for 50 minutes, and then after that, they measured the last, they measured the levels of oxytocin, the amount of oxytocin of the dog had increased by 48%, which they said suggested the dog was quite attached to the goat. However, the goat's increase in oxytocin was 210%. And the authors of this said, we essentially found that the goat might have been in love with

the dog. Which is a tragic unrequited thing. Isn't that great? Now, that's sad. Yeah. Yeah. Just so animal friendships, most people thought. the animals with big brains are more likely to make friends

and they found that fruit bats can make friends as well and they have tiny brains so that's quite confusing but they found this because things like there was a pregnant fruit bat and they found that she was being groomed and hugged repeatedly by another bat who was unrelated to her, another female bat and then when she gave birth

then the other female bat who had been grooming her and a third female fanned her with their wings to keep her cool. Wow. Just being nice to each other for no reason. I don't know if bats can fan each other with their wings That's amazing in itself, I think. Yeah, that's quite cool.

Now I wish I had wings. Yes, because that's the primary use for wings, isn't it? The best thing is that you can use of keep yourself cool. Well, you can fly as well. I love the idea of James as a bird just sitting there, and I'm just going up to him going, James, why don't you ever... Oh, you can do that with them too? D.H. Lawrence had a cow called Susan.

Yeah, which he loved and wrote a lot about. And there's one other celebrity cow that I found. Elm Farm Olly, also known as the Sky Queen, was the first cow to fly an aeroplane, to fly in an aeroplane. The Sky Queen was the first... She's struggled with landing, but for a while, she was at the controls.

That's how I got over the moon, right? Yeah, so she was the first cow to fly in an airplane. It was in 1930 at the International Air Exposition in Missouri. A man called Ellsworth Bunce became the first man to milk a cow mid-flight, which he did in that flight. He parachuted carbons of milk down to the spectators below. That is the stupe of the brilliant thing. That's fantastic.

Another thing that, sorry, another thing that... If that was intentional, Anna, you're fired from the podcast. Another thing that affects cow lactation is slow songs. If you play slow ballads to a cow, then their lactation increases. But if you play fast clubby songs to a cow, I think it was described as Euroclub classics. There's no effect on lactation at all. I wonder what the Euroclub classics are. Yeah.

I feel 65, probably that one. I'm moo. Dabaddy, dabba-dye. Thank you very much. Okay, time for fact number two, which this week is James Harkin. Okay, my fact is that it's illegal to take a selfie with a tiger in New York City. What? So many questions.

Well, it kind of speaks for itself, really. This is a new law that's come in. And it prohibits direct contact between members of the public and big cats. So it's like with travelling circuses or that kind of thing. And really it's that you're not allowed any photos, but obviously the press have put it forward as no tiger selfies. Because apparently tiger selfies are a thing on dating websites. Yes, to make...

I've just realized someone's told me about this. And to make men look extra manly, apparently they photograph themselves next to big... It's cool-looking animals. It's simultaneously manly and cuddly. Because you're cuddling a tautil. tiger, but it's a tiger. Oh no, Alex, you've done it, haven't you? I've been to, I've been to, I haven't, I have visited, I have visited the blog, which I found

this morning called Tinder Guys with Tigers. But actually, thinking about it now, if you're next to a tiger, the tiger is big and manly, and well, not manly, but big and powerful. And next to him, you're just going to look less powerful. So you want to be next to a really weak, like a hamster or some best. There's lots of baby tiger photos. Or maybe women will be very disappointed on the eventual dates, because they assumed that it was the tiger in the photo.

Well, this is the technique that was surely first patented by Vladimir Putin Oh yeah Who has photos taken with every wild animal But they're mainly dead, aren't they? No, a lot of them... Well, he does some hunting ones But it's genuinely Putin swimming with dolphins on the internet Dolphins who were previously enemies

Ganged up and became He's trying to ban blowhole sex That satire Right there. I was looking into history of selfies because it seems quite like a modern thing, so I had a look. The earliest photograph of,

actually the earliest photograph of a person in American history is actually a selfie. It was taken by a guy called Robert Cornelius, and he took it in 1839. He was a lampmaker, and he was responsible for developing a process called Dagueropati, which was a short-lived photographic process of some sort,

which was popular during the 1840s. The process was so slow that he was actually able to set up the camera and then run into shot for about a minute or so and then go and close the lens cap, which is quite more... And the photos were called DeGiro Types, were they? Yeah, that was it.

Wikipedia described the photo, which you can go and see as an off-center portrait of a man with crossed arms and tautil's hair. So I reckon it would be pretty well on Instagram because that's pretty close to the mark. For the first selfie, that's pretty well done, yeah. Do we think that was the first self-portrait?

No, because people have been drawing themselves for years. But I had a look into what the first ever... There's a collection of... lines in a cave, which may, which may be a drawing of a face. 27,000 years old. We're kind of assuming it's the same person who drew it, though, if we're saying it's a selfie. Exactly, yeah. It's open to debate.

There are a few lines next to it that look a bit like a tiger. 19th century portraits are fun. We talked about headless photos. Headless photos, so... So, yeah, Victorians like to photograph themselves headless, I think, and carrying their heads or with their heads and their heads in their... their laps. They managed to doctor photos from a really early time. So you get portraits from

the 1850s and 60s. They weren't necessarily doctors. They were like illusion. They actually didn't have heads. The photo was so prestigious back then that you would have your own head cut off to have a photo made of you so that it would look better. Totally were. A lot of them would be like it's hard

to describe but as in there would be illusion so you'd have two people in the photo and one person would be sort of on the end of a table with their head resting on it and the rest of their body sort of out of shot and then another person would be organized in a way that you didn't look like their head was there, and when you line them up, it looked like their head was not where it's supposed to be. Oh, that's very good.

And have you heard of snap shooting, which was a game that people played? No. This is in the very early days of handheld cameras. It's so much fun. You had to escape while someone else tried to take a photo of you. Oh, really? Isn't that cool? That's quite good.

It's a bit like Laser Quest. Yeah, but it's Laser Quest where you don't know the results for three days until you've had the photos to develop. It sounds like a fun game. This is really interesting, I thought. So, National Geographic published its first wildlife photographs in 1906 in the magazine, and two of the National Geographic Society board members resigned in disgust. A wildlife photo? They said it was becoming a mere picture book, and that wasn't what the National Geographic was all about.

Wow. A few more selfie things. You know these selfie stick, you can get there. There's a thing called a Belfi stick. Do you know what that is? Belfi stick. Is it, well, Abelphi, I know, to my shame, is a selfie of your own Bossom. Yes.

So is a stick to take a photo of your own bottom? That's right. A self-choloscopy kid. No, it's not that. The article I read said, it's curiously out of stock at the moment, but is ostensibly a real product. So I'm not sure if it's even real.

Okay. But the idea is that you hold it, and then it takes a picture of your bum, and then you can send it to people, presumably. You want to see that kind of thing. Oh, brave new world. The Statue of Liberty is taking one continuous long selfie. I found this on Reddit today.

There's her hand, which is holding up the torch. There's a camera, video camera, which you can stream a live feed from online, and it's pointing down to her face, so she's taking one. That's pretty cool, right? That is really good. That's such a good fact. Venus woman in the world. Does anyone have more?

Some stuff about things illegal in New York. Oh, yeah? Okay, so it's strangely, it's illegal to honk your horn. in New York City unless it's an emergency. So that's another filmy accuracy then, because any time there's an establishing shot of New York, the soundtrack is lots of lots of horn. No, no, no, no, that's accurate.

It's just that everyone's breaking the law. Right. Although there's a constant state of emergency. It's also illegal for three or more people to dance in New York City. What? This is the rave laws that they have there. So what constitutes a rave?

Also, in the same place. You can have to book an appointment with the city. Can I dance now, please? But what do you mean at the same place? It's okay if you're in your own home, actually, but it's going to be the people in your home have to be yourself, people who live there, or bona fide guests. It's legal in churches, and weirdly, it's also legal in premises licensed as retail cigarette dealers. The cigarette buying dance you have to do in order to get your 20 more reliance. So if you're in a bar and three of you are dancing.

You need a license. You need a dancing license. Oh, so the bar might have a dancing license. Yeah, otherwise it constitutes an illegal rate. And also, pinball machines were illegal in a lot of America, but in New York until the 70s. Wow. It was because it was kind of gambling. And in the 1940s, Mayor LaGuardia smashed up a load of pinball machines in front of the press and threw them in the sea.

He threw the press into the sea. Recently, the mayor of Riga drove a tank over an illegally parked car to make a point. Although he had illegally parked the car himself, so it wasn't just a random illegal parked car. What was the point he was making that look at my big tank? Yeah, clearly. Essentially, it was park properly. Big issues in Latvia today. Hey, we're talking about it now.

So it's worked. Yeah, actually, guys, I'm double parked out of that, so I'm just going to have to go before the bear of Riga gets here. All right, time for fact number three, which is Anna. Yep, my fact this week is that Morg refrigerators in Turkey. are equipped with motion sensors, alarms and handles that open them from the inside in case anyone in there wakes up. Perfectly sensible precaution. I think so.

Does it happen ever? It has, I don't think there's been any instances, certainly not in that place of it happening. But I think there's a sort of widespread paranoia in that area of Turkey. It's in Malatia in Turkey. And they have, yeah, so they've got like door handles on the inside. There are sensors all around the inside compartment so that if anything touches the walls, then automatically the draw comes open, so the corpse is free to leave. But corpses move around a little bit, don't they?

Because escaping gases and, I think, eventually, rigumortes. A little bit, but not very much. And also when they become zombies. Yes. Yes, that is a concern. In which case, why have we built easy exit than the war compartments? That's true. If the zombie apocalypse happens, these are going to be the first guys out, aren't they?

Yeah, and they'll let all the others out. In the 19th century, there was no reliable indicator. for death. People did not know that it was your heartbeat. Ah, but that's still kind of true because it could be brain activity. That's true. So I think actually there is a slight kind of argument about how you can actually say that someone's dead, whether it's a heartbeat, whether it's a brain activity. It's almost like we know so much now that we've blurred the boundary that we originally set. Yeah. Whereas they just didn't have a boundary at all. They knew nothing at all of it. And they had competitions to enter where you would be given 1,500 francs. If you were, you would be given 1,500

Franks if you worked out an easy and reliable sign of death. The winner was the heartbeat, and it was the man, Eugene Boucho, who invented the stethoscope. Eugene Boucho sounds like what you might hear down a stethoscope, but it was fantastic, and he got a lot of criticism for being so impetuous as to say that you could bury someone only two minutes after ascertaining that they were dead. Everyone else said, no, no, no, no, you should wait, and it took years. Did you say that he invented the stethoscope, sorry? Sorry, he didn't. Ah, yeah.

Because the stethoscope was invented by a guy who was embarrassed when he had to take the heartbeat of a particularly buxom lady, wasn't it? And the way that you used to do it was you would put your head right down next to someone's chest, and he was embarrassed to kind of go into the breast area. So he left her alone. Excuse me while I go and invent something. I'll be back shortly. I might be wrong about this, but I think he did it with a rolled-up newspaper or something

and then thought, well, this works quite well, and now I'm going to make something even better. I might be wrong about that last bit. I'm not sure. The other ideas suggested for the prize included, sticking a thermometer into the stomach to see if you were cold enough to be buried. Into the rectum would be good. I don't think anyone suggested that for this one.

Because you've got two different ways. One, the shock of having something up your bum, and two, the temperature. Okay, well, they're not actually still taking submissions, but I will pass it on. They also had attaching pincers to the nipples of the Brissium corpse Just burning the patient's arm with boiling water and seeing what happened Putting a multitude of leeches near the bottom

Or sticking... That's similar to my one. Or sticking a very long needle with a flag at one end Into the heart And if the patient was alive and there was any movement The flag would wave a bit And not for long And then when he died it would come down to half mast or something

One doctor said that the patient's tongue should be rhythmically pulled for three hours. We should say a lot of this is from a fantastic book by John Bonderson called Buried Alive, and it has a huge amount of unbelievably interesting information about this cultural fear over the centuries. Since you mentioned putting stuff up the anus, in the late 18th century, doctors William Hawes and Thomas Cogan decided the best treatment for someone who seemed dead after drowning was a tobacco enema. And so they used to shove things up your anus, didn't they? And that had like a dual purpose of testing if someone was dead. And giving you a nice hit of tobacco.

Exactly. And it was thought that, first of all, it would warm up the drowned person by pumping tobacco up their bum. And second, it would stimulate their respiration again. And it got a lot more popular when they started doing it with bellows. So they were a kit. So before this, they were just doing it with their mouth to the barn. Oh, God. No.

So mouth to ass resuscitation? Yeah, it was mouth upon resuscitation, which was problematic. Because a lot of people had died of illnesses, which involve quite a lot of fecal matter being infected. So quite a few people who tried this, doctors who tried this ended up dying themselves. To be fair, they were supposed to blow and that suck. Yeah, exactly, yeah. They did it wrong. But then once that doctors died, presumably another doctor will come along and say,

my God, this patient has died, I must resuscitate it. This is an awful chain reaction. If you've just stuck to back on someone's ass, then you're going to suck instead of blow, because you've basically made a human cigarette. It's going to be the sequel to the humans entity. They used to hang those tobacco ename bellows up by the River Thames, where you would have life belts today or life rings. They would just have as standard.

Have you guys heard of the Toten house? No. So these were, literally that means House of the Dead. Obviously, that's the 19th century Germany. They're very popular. These were basically large halls, which are sometimes very lavish and or innately decorated, in which bodies were kept for several days

to ensure that they were really dead. I think this is a pretty grim job. If you were an attendant at this hall, you possibly had 12-hour shifts, waiting for any signs of life. Terrifying, horrible job. But quite easy, actually. I mean, there wouldn't... Not a lot of times at which anyone actually wakes up, I guess.

Yeah, but if you miss that one time, then... Yeah, if you fell asleep for that one five-minute window. When that zombie apocalypse happened, they all came up. And they're like, Jeff, what were you doing? You were supposed to be watching them. He just woke up as an empty hall and they're like, oh, shit. Yeah. The Paris morgue actually was around the turn of the 20th century.

It was arguably the most popular tourist destination in Paris. And that's at a time when the Eiffel Tower had just built as well. They were getting up to 40,000 visitors in a single day. You still look with mentalist items as well. They were in some weird tourist attractions. Last week I was in Portugal. And anyone who follows me on Twitter will know this already. But I went to a bone chapel.

It was in Evora, which is a town in the middle of Portugal. And it was made by the monks, and they took all of the bodies out of the town, and then sort of put them on the walls in like some kind of weird. Tiling. Yeah, it's like tiling. Yeah. So it decorates the whole chapel. The best thing about it was I took a photo of it and put it on Facebook,

and Facebook recognized the skulls and tried to make me tag them as my friends. I thought they were people. That's creepy. So they've just got real skeletons? Yeah, real skeletons, yeah. Hanging up. And they have actual dead bodies as well. but when we were there, the dead bodies had been taken down for restoration.

But it was supposed to be a place where you would go and you would think about your mortality and whatever. So, you know, Memento Moris? No. Well, they're kind of things that are reminders that you're going to die, basically, and that all this is temporary and all flesh is dust and all of this stuff. So it's just something to remind you. So in lots of medieval or Renaissance pictures, there's a skull there, just to point out, you're going to die.

It's like watching Countdown. The Memento Morian Countdown could be the big clock. Oh, that's great. Do do do do do do do do do. Dong. Dom. Oh, basically, as well as a Memento Morin, there's also a Memento Viveret. Which is a really nice thing.

It's a reminder that you are alive and to take pleasure in life. And you don't really hear much about. So there was a thread of people who worked in Morton. comparing their experiences and there was someone who'd had a job in a mortuary and they got in someone who died who'd been a hand model and he said it was really weird because he went into the service the funeral service that they were having and they have lots of photographs up all over the place and almost all of the photographs were just of this person's hand this was a funeral of that character from the Adams family

there was another one where a clown had died and the person was buried in four clown costume, the whole family were clowns, all the friends were clowns, and at the family's request, the funeral directors had to dress up as clowns as well. Didn't the shoes not fit in the coffin? They put him in the coffin and all the sides fell out. Okay, and the final fact is my fact this week, and it is that Henry the 8th had two official cradle rockers who were paid three pounds a year each to rock his cradle. I should stress, this is when he was a baby.

I had a great image in my head before you told me that. Three pounds a year would have been a lot in those days, presumably. It would have been more, but not a huge amount. And also my question is, did they go in shifts, or did they need two people to rock one cradle? Well, his cradle was massive. It was five feet long and two feet wide. And this is the rocking one as well.

This isn't just a crib for a baby. This is an actual rocking cradle. Suspended from a wooden canvas covered with crimson cloth of gold and trimmed with ermine and it was ridiculous it was Henry the 8th he went in front of the time it was just a small baby at the time

his daughter was it Mary the first had even she had four cradle workers four yeah and she had two cribs as well she had an everyday cradle which was silver and gold I think and then a cradle of estate for special occasions for receiving visitors the current queen has 7333

cradle rockers just goes up every time because they want to outdo the previous one um ever the sixth was given a baby replica of a court when he was not yet one year old he had a chamberlain a vice chamberlain a steward

a coffer lots of other staff they were other children sorry they weren't other babies that's a fantastic idea brilliant yeah that's the most adorable thing I can think of they're all dressed as there's a little Thomas Cramer baby

and there's a walsy baby that's how I imagine CBBs is wrong No, so, and when Henry the 8th's first son was born, Henry appointed him 40 staff immediately, including a baker and a keeper of the cellar for some reason. It would be brilliant if they were babies as well, that wouldn't it? I just love this idea of just...

The community of babies looking up to it, like a tiny... Maybe a miniature Buckingham palace. This is the Muppet babies of the Tudor court. I like it. They didn't call themselves Tudor, did they? Didn't like that. No, what is that? It reminded them of their Welsh...

background, Tudor, and they didn't like that. Henry VIII referred to himself as the embodiment of the union of the families of Lancaster and York rather than Tudor. Tudor's snappier, isn't it? It is snappia. It was like 100, 200 years afterwards when it became more common. Moving down the line, Queen Victoria, well, I basically think she sounds like she had a phobia of babies.

She described them as rather disgusting. She described her own babies as frog-like and frightful when undressed. And she had nine. She didn't hate them that much. Shuck on punishment. She, when she was a baby, her father described her as plump as a partridge

and more a pocket Hercules and a pocket Venus. I think she was quite a fat baby. Hercules supposedly killed two snakes in his crib. Oh yeah. Some vengeful goddess released them towards him, didn't he? He smashed them together.

Is that where the rattle was invented? Yes. He killed the snakes, so they were rattles snakes, and then he turned around. than use some as rattles. And someone was like, if I take out the snake aspect of this,

it'd make a great toy. But Queen Victoria, named Victoria, very controversial. Victoria wasn't really a name in Britain at the time, was it? Really? Not a girl's name.

And she was named after her mother who was German. A lot of politicians and men at court tried to make her change her name when she was going to accede to the throne. What to?

Something more conventional. So I think Elizabeth was suggested originally. When the Queen gave birth to Prince Charles, Prince Philip was playing squash at the time. Does he?

Yeah. Did he leave the game? No, the Queen is a neighbour for 30 hours, but he... That's a long game of squash. He must have been tired at the end of that. Someone was taking care of it. Well, he just comes and goes, oh, I'm exhausted. What a day it's been.

How was your day? Do you know swaddling? Yeah. Which is where you just restrict babies very tightly in their movements for the first few months of the life. It's incredible that this happened and that we... Still happens around the world, I think. Yeah? To simulate womb environment, is that right?

I don't know. And this used to happen. Babies who were in their swaddling clothes would sometimes be hung up from a nail on the wall, which was to give their care. So you'd just sort of loop a bit of the swaddling over a nail on the wall. And the baby would just be entertained by its surroundings. This is according to the Victorian Album Museum, to give their carers a rest and to entertain them with the surrounding environment.

Like a ball ball. It's a really funny idea. Like a wall-mounted baby. It'd be good if you had like sex tuplets and they were just hanging up around the whole room. Or you could put them like plaster ducks. You could put them going up. but a diagram of the line. It was phased out.

I think it was widely perceived as being bad for the baby's health. Obviously. Cradles and cots. The first, in fact, actually I was looking into cradles and cots and I started accidentally looking into prams. But the first pram was invented in 1733

and it was made to be pulled along so it was like a small pram and it had a harness so it could be pulled along by a goat or a dog. That's adorable. I imagine a mini Henry the 8th baby being pulled along by a dog A dog and a goat who are best friends Oh god

The Disney film writes itself But pram is short for prambulator Yeah But there was no one walking I guess That's true It was being pulled by an animal Well the dog and the goat would have been walking Yeah

Walking into our hearts Oh Jesus They called the first prams That when prams started becoming popular In the mid-19th century I think they were called Male Carts Because they were based on design

for male carts when you just push like big packages along. And because female babies weren't allowed in them. I read that. There's one book, I've read this in and I can't find it verified, but children's cots were initially used to be bassinets which would just sit on the floor and then they were raised off the floor due to a perception that there were

noxious fumes that existed below knee level and explosive vapours that existed near the ceiling and that the middle air of a room was the healthy air you had to breathe. Technically, isn't that true because oxygen is flowerable? certainly near the top and carbon dioxide is... The gas in the room just moves around too much,

just a convection. If it was a very still room. They were onto the right idea, and we're killing our babies by leaving them on the floor. It's very unusual putting babies in cradles, having them sleep in cradles and cots and stuff in most parts of the world. It's really weird that we do that.

Yeah, like vast majority of countries, I think it's pretty much unheard of, and babies just sleep with their parents. Parents used to not really worry about washing their babies too much either. Oh, yeah. Mothers, in medieval times, would dry nappies rather than wash. them and in the book I was reading about this a history of childhood this was because of

the healing powers of urine and in bits of France people thought that if you washed a child's head you would make it simple-minded and if you cut its nails and hair before it was a year and a day old it would be respectively mute and a thief being mute is good if you're a thief because you make less noise it's a really good point okay he is a thief now so we might as well make sure he's good as well please make sure he's okay cut his nails then Yeah, extraordinary. Can I just do one thing about an unusual job that I read today? Okay, so I was reading a book earlier on.

It's called Sex on Earth. Sex and Earth is that? I think that's a phrase. Sorry. They were talking about the way that horses have sex specifically in stud. So they have a stallion will come in and have sex with a female horse. And they were explaining how this happens. And there is a guy whose one and only job is to hold the base

of the stallion's penis while it is in the mare's vagina. And his job is to feel for the telltale throbbing of ejaculation so that he knows when it's finished. Oh, my goodness. Why does he need to know? Well, it's so they can stop the act. But why do you need to stop the act? Surely it stops anyway in nature.

That much of a hurry that we need to, right? The usual bit's over. I'm going to say it's a brilliant book. It's by Jules Howard. It's absolutely real. Okay. But that's presumably why in nature you see a lot of skeletons. of horses which have just died because they didn't know when to stop having sex.

Imagine how the stallion feels during all that. Embarrassed, I presume. I don't know if... I would if a horse turned up. Started holding the head of your penis in his hooves. Did you just say I'm a stallion in bed? No, I said there's a stallion in our bed. Okay, that's all of our facts.

Thank you very much indeed for listening. We hope you have enjoyed it, and we will, of course, be back next week with another podcast. Until then, you can follow us on Twitter. We are at QI podcast, and you can also follow us all individually on Twitter. James is on... At Egg-shaped. Alex is on...

At Alex Bell underscore. I'm on at Andrew Hunter M. And for Anna... You can email podcast at QI.com. But also hashtag get Anna on Twitter. Thank you very much indeed for listening. We hope you've enjoyed it, and we have had a lot of fun. So, see you next week.

Bye.