Noble Blood - Countess of the Demimonde
Episode Date: June 23, 2026At the dawn of La Belle Epoch in Paris, a trans woman who became known as "The Countess" would journey from ballrooms to prison and back, a key figure in queer history who wrote her own autobiography ...to tell readers exactly how strange and dazzling the experiences of her life were. Support Noble Blood:—ORDER 'THE ARCANE ARTS'— Bonus episodes, stickers, and scripts on Patreon— Order Dana's book, 'Anatomy: A Love Story' and its sequel 'Immortality: A Love Story'See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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In 1895, the French forensic pathologist, Dr. Henri Le Léludic published his first work,
notes and observations on forensic medicine, offenses against morality.
If that sounds fairly dull, please stay with me, listener, because I promise you this episode is anything but.
It's the final section of the book that we're interested in today, a section that the doctor actually did not write himself,
which consists of the entire text of a unique autobiography that the doctor had acquired,
an autobiography entitled Secret Confessions of a Parisian.
Legluidique claimed the autobiography's author was one of his patients from his time as a prison doctor,
and he had chosen to include the autobiography, quote,
for documentary purposes in order to enable readers to understand the writer's state of mind,
end quote.
Many of Legludique's patience when he was a prison doctor had been convicted for sexual violence,
but this particular prisoner had instead been booked as an army deserter and petty thief.
The autobiography then was included not as a study of a devious criminal mind,
but to quote the doctor, to, quote, trace the origin and evolution of the author's sexual inversion, end quote.
The autobiography begins, quote, in the beautiful year,
of 1860, there lived in Paris, a woman whom all gilded and gallant Paris knew. This woman, who happens
to be the humble author herself, went by many names, but in the byline of the autobiography,
she narrows it down to two, Arthur W. and The Countess. Throughout this episode, I will refer to
our subject mostly as the Countess and as Pauline, another name she used, as those were the names
she used most commonly. Pauline presents her life story in the vein of many 19th century
buildings Romans. She takes the reader from her early experiences as a young boy wishing to wear the
dresses her mother made to her courtship with the nobleman who introduced her to the life of a female
courtesan. We then follow her as she becomes Pauline and the Countess, working as a performer in
Parisian clubs frequented by the queer community, as she gets drafted into the army and ultimately
is sentenced to years in a men's prison for abandoning her post. Confessions of a Parisian
was largely inspired by Rousseau's Confessions, and it offers the
reader a similar look into the author's psyche. Pauline's insight is often funny, often joyous,
and often heartbreaking. Sinner, degenerate, and corrupt are often used self-descriptors.
These ideas echo the common societal view of homosexuality and other non-traditional
sexual and gender identities as immoral vices.
Her work was ultimately published, after all, as a documentation of mental illness.
At the same time, Confessions also offers an intimate, vibrant look into the lives of members of Paris's queer community
during a time where they were regarded as little more than case studies by social scientists and deviants by larger society.
On top of being a talented performer and writer, Pauline was a very competent illustrator,
and her drawings of different members of her community were included in Confessions' publication.
As I mentioned in one of our earlier episodes on the 19th century writer and nobleman, Mark de Montefad,
discussing the gender and sexuality of historical figures through our modern understanding is a very complex task.
The Parisian queer community at the time had their own language and system of identification,
and this is how the Countess best understood and described herself.
In her words, she was a fil or mignon, both of these terms, applying.
to multiple identities.
The latter term, for example,
originated from Henri III's fashionable young male favorites,
but eventually evolved to apply to a broader queer identity.
In Pauline's writing, we see Mignon
mean a homosexual man, a cross-dressing man,
and a transgender woman.
The Countess seems to have identified at times
with all of those descriptors.
She was happiest, however, when society saw her as a woman.
She proudly reflected,
I, who had so desired to be a girl, had triumphed over natural law.
I'm Dana Schwartz, and this is Noble Blood.
The Countess opens her autobiography in the time and place I described earlier,
1860, Paris, at the height of her local fame.
She was around 22 or 23 at the time and had begun performing six years earlier.
Though the book is in autobiography, the prologue is written in third person and introduces us to our, quote, heroin.
Speaking of the third person, this is a good time to acknowledge that there is very little secondary scholarship on the life of the countess.
Our main source of information about her life is the woman herself.
Certain details and events have almost certainly been embellished or glossed over.
Dates and ages don't always match up.
She writes at one point, quote,
Time doesn't matter, nor does space.
In this sect of those who deny their sex, I was an example of that.
Pauline is, however, a fairly balanced narrator, and seeing as she did not know whether or not the work would be published in the end, there was likely little reason to self-censor.
In fact, I would argue that reading it, her writing comes across as brutally honest.
She describes herself in a measured, if flamboyant, tone. As a young adult, she had, quote, literary tastes. She read
a lot, she drew passably, and she sang agreeably. Her face lent itself marvelously to makeup,
like the face of all of those whose physiognomy is large, full and marked by strong features.
While she considered her face beautiful to average, she thought her hands ugly and her figure
too thin. When it came to her character, writing in the third person, quote,
she was good despite her cold air, sensitive, despite her reputation of insensitivity,
a little romantic, generous to a fault.
She also described frequent bouts of depression.
She had, quote, a melancholic air, a tinge of sadness, which, despite her efforts,
changed the expression on her face from laughter to sorrow in an instant.
It appeared as suddenly as a love.
lightning bolt in the summer in the middle of her gayest hours. Pun, ironically, not intended.
While the countess's life drastically changed after her childhood, we see her goodness, her sensitivity,
and sometimes her sadness, in her earliest years. Pauline says she was born in 1839,
though that would make her 20 or 21 in 1860. Her parents were working class.
and in her words, decent folks in all senses of the word.
Her father was a coachman turned steward,
raised and educated by his first master.
Pauline notes, interestingly,
that he belonged to a now extinct class of servants
who were treated as family by those they worked for.
She concludes that her father, quote,
had only one great flaw,
a weak character compounded,
by excessive vanity. I inherited these two traits almost in their entirety. Her mother was a seamstress
and, according to her, an angel. The image Pauline holds of her mother, even years after her mother's
death, is nothing short of seraphic. The two were incredibly close from her earliest years.
Pauline much preferred to spend time with her mother rather than play with other children.
While her mother would sew, young Pauline would read romance books she found stored away in the home.
Quote, my eyes would often fill with tears, forcing me to stop reading.
My dear mother would also cry and we dry our tears with exchanges of kisses.
Her mother would say, my dear little boy, you have.
have a good heart. The Countess described the first part of her life as one long musical poem.
Her mother loved singing and the pair sang together every day.
Quote, these golden hours developed a powerful taste for singers and concerts in me.
I specifically mean female singers because my frivolous nature was seduced by the brilliance
of their appearance.
Her mother often took her to shows at cafe concerts, which were popular, accessible alternatives to cabarets.
Pauline, quote, drank them all in with my ears and my eyes wide open and dreamed of one day being on stage.
Many of her mother's clients were actresses in the theater, and they liked to spoil Pauline with gifts of candies and books.
She reflected, those experiences didn't leave me indifferent.
The sight of these women decorated like holy shrines and perfumed like sachets filled me with all possible joys.
She remembers running her fingers over the lace of their dresses and playing with their jewels while she'd sit in their labs.
Her most prominent memory is of a blue satin dress with gold spangled.
A theater owner had sent the dress over to have her mother make a copy, and Pauline became fixated by the dress on the mannequin.
She wrote, that blue satin gown had obsessed me ever since it had been brought in.
I looked at it, I touched it, I took it off the mannequin, and I managed to put it on myself, even though it was too big for my little body.
She knew the tricks of the trade from her mother and her clients, and pinned the dress at the front,
so that she could walk in it.
She then picked up her mother's fan
and began to show off for herself in the mirror.
Absorbed in her fantasy,
she didn't hear the delighted giggles
of her mother and her assistants,
having returned to the studio.
When her mother asked what she was doing all dressed up,
Pauline replied with a little embarrassment,
Mama, I'm playing diva.
Her mother smiled and simply replied,
That's nice, but you must take off
Madame Dee's gown, you might damage it.
Pauline's father also simply laughed at the anecdote.
He did not enforce masculinity on his young son.
While Pauline loved women's dresses and accessories from a young age,
she would burst into tears at the sight of boys' shorts,
refusing to wear them unless they were decorated with embroidery and lace.
Pauline believed both the innate tendencies of her character, her shyness and sensitivity,
and the chance of her mother's profession, developed in her, quote, love of beauty and style
that would later degenerate into a frenzy and cause the disorders and missteps that mark my life, end quote.
Despite that perspective, she cherished that time.
She wrote,
My whole childhood was spent in an atmosphere of graciousness, delicacy, and lovely faces,
and neither the passage of time nor misfortune,
nor the cruel disappointments of life,
nor the long hours of imprisonment can ever tarnish that glorious memory.
As an adolescent, she was sent to a boys' boarding school very close to her home.
Her first sexual experiences happened there,
masturbating with older male peers,
namely one boy called Charles.
Pauline recalls she didn't think much of the, quote,
evil she had committed, only the desire to do it more.
She wrote,
Having indulged in pleasure,
I had drunk deeply from the source of those predilections
that make a man prostitute himself
not by circumstance, no. By starting out with a boy four years older than myself,
I was destined always to play the woman's role, the role of the mignon, that distinct, separate
type among all men with similar passions. It was during her time at boarding school that Pauline
began to realize she would never be like her peers. She wrote, people have often said that morally I am
not like other men. I can only add that I'm different physically as well, and this difference has
caused me pain. It is the rapidly growing ulcer that has engulfed all my happy moments and the poison
that has corrupted my life from the time that I became a man. This sadness, which is so powerful in
my life, is the real cause of the enjoyment that I had in concealing my sex beneath a woman's
exterior, end quote. It is an evocative, early description of what we today would recognize as
gender dysphoria. The countess tells the reader that she still sees Charles sometimes, and declares that
by seducing her, he had, quote, broken down the barrier that my shyness would have raised against the
desires that the sight of me kindled in the mind of the Marquis D.X.
The original Marquis de X was her father's employer, and we do not know his identity beyond the mysterious moniker.
Marquis de X died when Pauline was just an adolescent, and then his son inherited his title.
This new, younger Marquis, whom Pauline refers to as M, began to come to her family home often,
maintaining a friendly relationship with her father.
When Pauline was a young teen, M began to court her.
He was, in her words, a tall, handsome man of 26.
With her parents' permission, he would take Pauline for rides in his coach,
where he would praise her beauty and tell her,
If you wished, dear, you could be happier than a king's son,
and you could have all the lovely things that you want,
so much. He laid out his wishes plainly for her. He would take care of her generously,
giving her as much money as she needed each month, and she, in turn, would provide him pleasure.
Pauline was, according to her, thrilled by the splendors. Everything he had told me seemed so special
that, with my regret dissolving into my desire, I was eager to latch onto this man,
who said that he loved me like a friend and like a lover.
The Marquis also charmed her into sharing her secrets.
I'd tell him everything about my wild dreams
and the frustrations that I felt at not being a woman
since I was so ill-suited for being a man.
He replied,
You are so unlike a man that it would be very easy to change you into a charming lady.
M told Pauline's parents that he would be.
take her in to further her education. That was one word for it, she quips to the reader.
Pauline's mother was hesitant at first, distraught to part with her dear child, but Em persuaded her
that Pauline could pursue her talent for art with his connections and opportunities. Perhaps by
21st century standards, we might identify Em's tactics as grooming. Instead of,
of enrolling Pauline in art school, M took her to meet a courtisan, Paula, who styled Pauline into a
courtisan herself. Paula acquired her dresses, found her an apartment nearby, and gave her lessons
on how to walk and talk the part of a courtesan. Paula was very influential to young Pauline.
was she, not coincidentally, who offered the name Pauline as Pauline's first chosen name.
The name was in full Madame Pauline de Floreg.
This woman, who quickly became my friend and confidant, was my first true platonic love, she wrote.
With her I experienced the charm of exquisite and intimate friendship.
After Paula's lessons, M took Pauline out in society as a woman for the first time.
At the popular restaurant in Madrid, he introduced her to his noble friends and their own kept women.
She wrote, it took some nerve, and in spite of my confidence, the confidence I had in my luxurious wardrobe,
I could feel myself blanching under my pancake makeup, and my heart.
heart was thumping. To Pauline's delight, everyone was cordial, and she saw the women paying
close attention to the details of her fashionable outfit. After recounting this day, we get one of the
most arresting passages of the autobiography. The Countess reflected years later,
there's one thing in my life that made me so happy that it alone banished all my regrets and my
sorrows, at least temporarily. It was the realization of my most bizarre dream, of seeming to be
something that I was not. The desire to dress as a woman, to be accepted in the eyes of the world
as an elegant lady, pleased me so much that when I was able to do it, it took the sharp
edge off my regrets. She continued, with a great deal of patience and effort, I had succeeded in resembling
the finest being in all creation. I was a woman, and when people talked about me, they referred to me as
the lovely, the charming Pauline. With that, I was able to forget my feeble body and enjoy hours and
hours of an enchanting illusion. Her euphoria jumps off the page. It's especially remarkable
when you remember she was writing this in 1874. Her relationship with M wasn't always as joyous.
While she claimed to have accepted his offer without a second thought, she was conflicted over the
nature of their relationship and the nature of her role as a mistress. Sweet work,
from M would placate her doubts. She explained,
since I had so often envied women when I was reading, I was able to forget when
listening to this seducer that I was nothing more than a plaything for a debauched
man whose affection for me would last only as long as I could please him.
The source of much of the Countess's shame around her gender and sexual identity was,
it seems inexorably intertwined with the grief she felt about her profession and position in the world.
She declared,
every kind of prostitution is a moral degradation, a dishonorable situation,
so that in order to live happily, you must not even recognize it.
Because she could not live as a woman until she had become a courtesan,
one became forever associated with the other in her mind.
It's tragic, and Pauline was certainly not the only queer person of the time to feel similarly.
Around three years into their arrangement, Em grew distant.
He eventually ended things, leaving her a letter enclosed with some money.
Pauline claimed she was 16 or 17 at the time,
and she worried about what would happen to her now.
She could not return to her parents
because they would ask too many questions
she couldn't or didn't want to answer.
She also admitted she had no desire
to return to the quote,
straight and narrow, as she called it,
after time in the vibrant circles of Parisian society.
And so she made her debut in the cafe concerts.
She used the parting money
the Marquis had left her to buy exquisite stage costumes
and considered herself a, quote, passable singer.
This is the time in which she became truly immersed
in the Parisian queer community,
for they were her fellow performers and audience members.
One group was known as the Tribids,
a term allegedly coined from the Greek verb to rub,
which had long been used to describe
women who had sex with other women. In Pauline's words, these women came usually in pairs and were
charming priestesses of that enormous cult that worshipped at Sappho's altar. They belonged to that
strange sect, that incomprehensible love from which men are excluded. They were, as Pauline
described them, women who loved women and dressed like men. She analyzed, such a woman so comfortable,
dressed as a man usually has a masculine personality and masculine tastes. Like Mignon,
as described earlier, Tribid also applied to a broader queer identity. Pauline's illustration of
one Tribed friend, B, is included in the autobiography. She wrote, The despair that B felt at the age of
was the same one that I felt. So she adopted men's clothing and looked ravishing in them.
Even men were fooled and women went wild over her.
Another part of the audience was made up of, quote, mincing perfumed young men fitted out with the finest gloves, makeup, and professionally curled hair, a group sometimes known as Fee.
An illustration of a fee and good friend of the countess, La Charles, is also featured in the book.
Within their group, all of these terms applied to one born as a man who either identified as a cross-dressing man or as a woman.
Specific terms were also seemingly associated with sex work.
Pauline was also engaging in sex work as a performer, taking audience members on as clients,
after the shows, as the other fee performers did.
She also found two more, quote, protectors following M's departure, but neither lasted as long
as her original affair.
The group she worked with had a tradition of, quote, baptizing new members of their circle.
One night, drinking champagne, a fellow fee adorned Pauline with a new name.
On behalf of all these young ladies, as well as after,
our dear sisters who are assembled here, I, August D., now baptize Arthur W., the Countess.
The Countess noted how seriously everyone took the ceremony.
For the tribades and the mignones who were there, this was a well-known and powerful act.
For me, I thought that it was just a joke, but when Dee, taking his seat again, added,
My lovely I dubbed you the Countess, and I swear that this name is,
will remove all traces of your real one. He was only too accurate. She found genuine friendship and
community. She commented on the solidarity between Trebades and Filles, writing that trebades were,
quote, deeply sympathetic toward Filin-Mignon, since like them, they have an unnatural love. They're
indulgent and have a soft spot for the young men whom they call their sisters. And that feeling
is genuinely reciprocated. In her early 20s, now years into her career, the newly named countess
rekindled her relationship with her mother. Her father had died, and she wanted to bring her mother
as much joy as possible. It was around this time as well that she was required to participate
in the conscription lottery, drawing the number 180, she was in the reserves and
eventually deployed. Not only was the countess afraid to join the regiment, being an army man
meant living as a man again. The countess eventually was given leave to visit a fictional uncle,
and she was able to see her beloved Paris again. Returning to her mother's home, Pauline threw
herself into her arms, weeping that she could not return to the regiment. Her plan to desert was simple.
Arthur could not be found if only the Countess existed.
She told her mother that she was quite comfortable as a woman,
and rather than just playing the part when she performed,
she would become one forever.
Her mother, whose, quote, dearest wish had been to have a daughter,
was pleased with the idea.
The Countess told her that she would return the next day transformed.
When the police were sent to find the lost soldier,
the countess's mother told them she hadn't seen him.
The soldier in question was naturally standing in the very same room.
The countess returned to the theater and for years continued living life as before.
In 1860, after a brief illness, the countess's beloved mother died.
Falling into a depression, Pauline lost much of the desire and energy to dress up and perform.
She stole from the home of her mother's form.
employer to pay off her debts and was later caught and identified as the missing soldier.
She was arrested and sentenced to 10 years in prison.
As she wrote in her autobiography, at the beginning of September 1861, I arrived, chained to another
inmate at the central prison.
The countess claimed that less than two hours after her arrival, all of the inmates had
learned her life story. Naturally, she claims she gained many admirers. According to her, quote,
those who had had unnatural sexual urges outside of prison would have more so inside, and those who had
never experienced those thoughts would adopt them easily. So my arrival stirred up many thoughts and
unleashed many desires. She eventually accepted the proposal of a particularly devoted admirer,
she calls R in the autobiography.
This man had saved up quite a bit in prison
and promised the countess everything she might want.
His feelings for her became eventually obsessive.
He could not sleep, he followed her everywhere
and was prone to fits of jealousy.
Eventually, she says she became fed up
and told him she didn't want to see him again.
By her count, the relationship lasted four years and five months.
She tells the reader,
I have sketched this story in one page,
but I could have spent 20 on it
because there were so many strange incidents involved.
R was eventually released
and begged the Countess to request transferring prisons
out of his fear that she would form a relationship
with another inmate there.
She knew the request was ridiculous,
but felt guilty over how things ended between them
and felt she owed him for all of the money he had.
given her. She did request a transfer, and the request was eventually approved, and she was moved
to another prison. She arrived 12 days later in March of 1866. At intake, she was led to the baths.
There, a handsome man tossed her a towel, saying, take this, kid. This tall handsome man was the
stockroom clerk. His number was 598. He had served.
as the bugler for the first rifleman. And as the countess wrote, he was to become more than a brother to me.
His name was Gustav Engel. It was love at first sight. For the countess, at least. She asked her
fellow inmates about Gustav, but all they told her was he had a reputation and that she was wasting her time.
She believed they were jealous, as they wanted to court her themselves.
The countess lamented her new position in the prison's dirty shoemaking workshop.
But luck shined upon her when Engel was demoted from his position as a stockroom clerk to fellow shoemaker.
She recounted,
I decided then and there to give him as many extra rations as possible.
I had almost 250 francs saved so I could pay for them.
At this point, all my thoughts of frugality and greed were banished.
this new love, though shameful, had cleansed me.
She included a note with the rations asking for the man's name.
In his reply, she learned it for the first time, and he told her,
quote, I want to thank you with all my heart, but you shouldn't deprive yourself because of me.
His reply did nothing to deter her.
She wrote, from that day on, I understood the meaning of the word to love.
Oh, how well I knew then that I had.
had never been in love before because I had never experienced such overwhelming intoxication,
such a stirring in my heart. She looked forward to her exercise period in the yard because she
knew she'd see him there and he might smile at her, maybe even talk to her. The man was her
light in a dark place. She forgot that she was in prison when thinking of him. Their relationship
lasted over four years, although it's unclear whether they were ever, quote, exclusive.
lovers. Still, there were certainly mutual intimacy. She wrote,
Our earthly happiness is a friendship or a love without limits, where shared feelings merge
completely. And I had never felt this sort of mutual affection before, at least not to the
extent that I had yearned for it. Eventually, after a quarrel over the countess's jealousy,
Engel wrote a letter to her saying he never wanted to see her again.
distraught she got herself placed in solitary confinement to get over him.
Still, the night before Engel was released, the countess found a way to see him.
She recalled, he squeezed my hand, told me that he'd never forget me.
On that day he gave me his badge with the number that was used instead of a name and that each
inmate wore on his sleeve.
This simple number, 598, spoke volumes to me and was put to me.
precious to me because my friend had touched it every day. Then the Countess tells the reader simply,
on July 22, 1871, I was released. Those are the final words of her autobiography. It is quite the
anticlimactic ending to such a dramatic life story, but it is the ending we have. The Countess never
published further writing and her life following her release from prison is undocumented.
We can imagine, even hope, that maybe she returned to her life as a performer, her life as a
woman, back to her beloved community in Paris, but we cannot know for sure. Despite its abrupt
ending, Confessions is a magnificent work. It is one of the earliest surviving queer autobiographies
in French and provides incredible insight into the life of not only a large community,
but a fascinating individual.
She who had realized her dream, and in her words, had triumphed over natural law.
That's the story of Pauline or The Countess, but keep listening after a brief sponsor break
to hear a little bit more about where you can see her work.
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instead of an extra anecdote, I'd like to point listeners towards the Noble Blood Instagram and Patreon
where we've uploaded the Countess's illustrations included in her autobiography, Confessions of a Parisian.
While she considered her artistic talent only passable, her drawings really are quite good
and portray the fashions of a subculture that were not otherwise well documented.
There's illustrations of B, of La Charles, the fee, and a person called La Belle,
drawings of her lover Gustav the Rifleman, and of course a self-portrait of the Countess
at her dressing table, putting on her makeup.
We spent so much time in this story, telling the Countess's story in her own words,
that it feels right to show you her story by her own hand as well.
Well. Noble Blood is a production of I-Heart Radio and Grimm and Mild from Aaron Manky.
Noble Blood is hosted by me, Dana Schwartz. Writers for Noble Blood are Hannah Johnston,
Hannah Zwick, Paul Jaffe, Natasha Lasky, and me, Dana Schwartz.
The show is edited and produced by Jesse Funk and Nome Scrippin, with supervising producer Rima
Il Kali, and executive producers Aaron Manky, Trevor Young, and Matt Fredfrey.
For more podcasts from IHeartRadio, visit the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Joy is essential and it's also elusive, but now there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence.
Joy 101.
It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby.
If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air chats.
Open your free IHeart Radio app.
Search Joy 101 and listen now.
Joy 101 with Hoda Kotbe is presented by CVS.
My first guest is Terence Hilton.
Shakira.
Luke and Yerrin.
Have surprises.
Many surprises.
Welcome to the Sweet 305 podcast where the group check comes to life.
What a hell?
You're the only person I know that loves the Yellow Starburst.
It's lemonade.
This is Sweet 305.
Here, oversharing is encouraged.
Listen to Suite 305 with Llele Pons on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
For years, the unhoused have been presented as a monolith in mainstream media.
Gwedean House is a podcast that's changing the narrative.
I'm Theo Henderson, and I created the show why I was unhoused on the streets of Los Angeles.
We've grown into a two-time Webby Award-winning podcast.
The only podcast that shares unhoused stories and news from the unhoused perspective.
Listen to Weezy &House on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
This is an IHart podcast, guaranteed human.
