Noble Blood - The Notorious Banquet of Chestnuts

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

On October 31, 1501, the notorious Italian family. the Borgias, threw a party in the Papal Palace. The salacious details of that event, known as the "Banquet of Chestnuts" has captivated gossips for centuries. CW: sex Support Noble Blood: — Bonus episodes, stickers, and scripts on Patreon — Noble Blood merch — Order Dana's book, 'Anatomy: A Love Story' and its sequel 'Immortality: A Love Story'See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. What's up, everyone? I'm Ago Vodam. My next guest, it's Will Ferrell. Woo, woo, woo, woo. My dad gave me the best advice ever. He goes, just give it a shot.

But if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on a calendar of, you know, The cat, just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck.

Listen to Thanks, Dad, on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Noble Blood, a production of IHeart Radio and grim and mild from Aaron Manky. Listener discretion advised. One brief note before we begin, this episode contains some very sexual scenes. October 31st, 1501. The sun was setting over Vatican City and most people were preparing to celebrate All Saints Eve, which usually involved feasting and attending church services in honor of beloved Catholic saints. They didn't practice Halloween as we know it today. Sadly, there was probably no one dressing up as a sexy bishop or sexy sacrament. But that didn't mean everything was quiet and chaste. Deep inside Vatican City, an epic party was about to begin, in the Pope's private residence.

The host was Cheseray Borgia, notorious son of Pope Alexander I. The guest list included the Pope himself, as well as Cheseray's sister, the equally notorious Lucretia Borgia. The party, known today as the banquet of chestnuts for reasons that will soon become clear, has been gossiped about and debated for centuries. It has been depicted in pop culture with an entire episode of Showtime's series The Borgias dedicated to it. The party began fairly normally with a fine banquet, as you might be imagining, from a fine banquet, as you might be imagining, from the name. It wasn't until after the meal that things got interesting. Fifty of Rome's finest cortisans were in attendance, and after the meal, they were ordered to disrobe.

Servants moved the lit candelabras to the floor where chestnuts were scattered about. The courtesans were then ordered to crawl around and pick them up. As one might imagine, Imagine, these provocative actions quickly led to mass copulation, a holy orgy of sorts, blessed by the presence of the Pope, who sat with his illicit children and watched as the whole affair unfolded. Sounds juicy, right? A perfect little nugget of gossip that lasted hundreds of years and helped define the Borgas as sinful, lustful, and salacious. The banquet of chestnuts is a fascinating bit of history, but there is one big question we have to ask. Is it history at all? Did the banquet of chestnuts actually happen? I'm Dana Schwartz,

and this is Noble Blood. Ah, the Borgs, the family that of Renaissance, Renaissance era Italians loved to hate. If you listened to our episode about Lucretia Borgia, you'll remember that in all likelihood the Borgias were probably more tame in real life than their reputations made them out to be, or at the very least Lucretia was. But there's no denying that they were hugely powerful figures, making bold moves with little regard for the fallout. Pope Alexander the 6th, born Rodrigo Borgia, had many illegitimate children. This was not uncommon for a pope at the time, even though they, of course, were supposed to be celibate. But Alexander the 6th did make waves by actually claiming the four that he had with his favorite mistress.

Two of the children from that relationship were Cheseray and Lucretia Borgia, who quickly gained reputations of their own. as political movers and shakers. Chesteray was known as a ruthless climber, whose actions were the model for Machiavelli's The Prince, the how-to, or tongue-and-cheek satire, about acquiring power and influence. As a beautiful woman, Lucretia was a powerful political tool. Her marriages were orchestrated by her brother and father as a way to secure alliances and maintain communities. control. At the time of the banquet, arrangements were being made for her third and final marriage to Alfonso Ladesde, Duke of Ferrara. The Borgias were infamous for their scheming and outright villainy, with accusations of every sin under the sun being thrown at the three main

Borgias. However, one had to assume that, rumors aside, these guys would know how to throw one hell of a party, and the banquet of chestnuts was one for the ages. The only reason we even know about this banquet today is thanks to the work of one dedicated man, someone with an eye for detail, and a nose for a juicy story. Think of Truman Capote, Gossip Girl, Lady Whistledown. Johann Bouchard walked so that they could run. The most detailed account of the banquet of chestnuts comes from the diary of Johann Burchard. Burchard was an Alsatian-born Jack-of-all white-collar trades, who worked both as a practicing lawyer and an ordained priest, among other things. He left home, also leaving behind some theft and trafficking

accusations, and moved to Rome in the late 15th century. There he began working his way up through the ranks of the Catholic Church, ultimately serving as Master of Ceremonies for five different popes. Alexander the 6th fell directly in the middle of the line of popes that Burchard served. The master of ceremonies was an essential part of the Renaissance-era Catholic Church, overseeing the accuracy and precision of the sacred rituals that were to be performed, by the Pope. The master of ceremonies served as a liturgical watchdog, keeping a close eye on the style and structure of religious ceremonies, as well as advising on etiquette and protocol for all sorts

of church-related matters. This one specifically also, to our great benefit, was a devoted journal keeper. Burchard's collected diaries, also known as the Lieber Notarum, serve as both an official record of the daily machinations of the church, and a fascinating look at a particularly wild and decadent period in Italian history. Here is what Burchard had to say about this particular night in question. Quote, on the evening of the last day of October 1501, Chesire Borgia arranged a banquet in his chambers in the Vatican with 50 honest prostitutes called cortisans who danced after dinner with the attendants and others who were present at first in their garments then naked. End quote. The sex workers are the only group Burchard mentions with any specificity at all, calling the other guests' attendance and others who were present. This is presumably to protect the anonymity of those who were involved.

No doubt, Borgia family friends and associates. Whoever the other attendees were, we can assume they were both powerful and discreet. Or at the very least, they didn't keep journals that made it into the historical record. The title of honest courtesans wasn't Barchard's way of passing judgment on the workers. I'd argue that with multiple confessions under his own belt, he was in no position to weigh in on the virtue of others. But rather, honest courtesans was actually a class distinction, a subset of sex workers who specifically served the nobility. They were often quite learned, with social graces and artistic, musical, or literary talents befitting the upper echelons of society. These honest courtesans could also be unbelievably expensive, but their rates were gladly paid.

After all, many noblemen needed the illusion of women of their own class and rank, who would indulge their desires and find them endlessly fascinating. We'll talk more about the sex workers in the later part of this episode, but for now, let's press on. When we left them in the diary, the 50 sex workers, were in the process of shedding their clothes and dancing with the other guests, who were presumably still clothed. Burchard continues, quote, after dinner, the candelabro with the burning candles were taken from the tables

and placed on the floor, and chestnuts were strewn around, which the naked courtesans picked up, creeping on hands and knees between the chandeliers, while the Pope, Cheseray, and his sister Lucretia looked on. Let's pause here and unpack. Fans of HBO's succession might have already picked up on the similarities to bore on the floor, a dysfunctional power-hungry family watching underlings humiliate themselves for a quick thrill. Abuse of power is truly timeless. But questions still abound.

even with this diary entry? Who threw the chestnuts? Were they already on the table and grabbed impulsively by Chessoray or one of his pals because someone decided the party needed to be kicked up a notch? Or was it all planned?

Frustratingly, Barchard failed to think of future nosy readers, particularly the more logistics-oriented among us. He did, however, leave us with another last detail. quote, finally, prizes were announced for those who could perform the act most often with the courtesans, such as tunics of silk, shoes, barrels, and other things. Plenty of details here about the prizes themselves, not as much about the parts that were actually salacious.

Who won? Are we correct to presume that only men could compete? No doubt the revelers were up to all kinds of kinket. business, but it feels safe to infer that the prizes were reserved for the men who copulated with the most women. Again, how much of this was planned ahead of time? It's unclear when the event picked up the name Banquet of Chestnuts, but it's easy to see how such a legendary gathering acquired an, if you know, you know, nickname. The party's effects were still on display for days afterward.

Florentine ambassador Francesco Pepey reported that Pope Alexander was a no-show for Mass for four days afterwards. Rumor swirled

of a nasty hangover. The ambassador chocked this up to the pontiff having gone out until the 12th hour with the Duke who had brought

into the palace that night singers and courtisans and all night they spent in pleasure dancing and laughter. While hangovers certainly do get worse with age, and the eldest Borja was 70 years old at this time, a four-day recovery still sounds a little excessive.

But it certainly adds to the party's reputation. While Burchard is the only eyewitness account of the party, the lascivious details fall right in line with the existing public image of the Borges. Other documents support a party having taken place at the Apostolic Palace that night, but none of them have the Master of Ceremonies' eye for details or specifics. During this same time, the Pope came across a pamphlet that laid bare every scrap of public opinion about his infamous family. Written in the form of an anonymous letter to political exile Silvio Covelli, it functions as a sort of burn book, recording in sordid detail an exhaustive account of the Borgia's alleged crimes. According to the pamphlet, the Pope was, quote, betrayer of the human race.

Chesire was a debauchress murderer, and Lucretia was an incestuous monster who slept with pretty much every member of her family. Clearly, the pamphlet was a combination of half-truths, hyperbole, and outright slander. But it was impactful enough that Burchard included passages in his diary. In her history book Cheseray and Lucretia Borgia, brother and sister of history's most vilified family, Samantha Morris paints the male Borgia's reactions to the pamphlet as consistent with their reputations. quote, Alexander, as was typical of him, found the whole thing rather amusing. Chesire, on the other hand, was less than impressed. Since he was a young man, he had not dealt well with slights on his pride,

and during the December, following the Savelli letter, he took action against a masked individual who was wandering the Borgow, uttering insults against the Pope's family, end quote. Cheseray had the man's right hand cut off as well as his tongue and displayed them in a local church as a cautionary tale. A month later, Cheseray ordered the execution of a man for simply translating a libel against his family. The Pope's only response to his son's action was, quote, The Duke is good-natured, but he has not yet learned to bear insult, end quote. Gossiping about the Borgias was a dangerous game, especially with Chessiree around, but it was a game that few Italians seemed able to resist.

It's easy to see why something like the banquet of chestnuts would have easily taken hold with the public. It's the perfect kind of scandal, titillating, extravagant, strange, and best of all, it's about people in power. Much of the rumor mill surrounding the Borgias concerned violent crimes, if not outright murder, so we can imagine that it must have been a little bit of a relief to be able to gossip about something as fun as a glorified orgy. But there has been much speculation about how true Burchard's version of events actually was. Centuries after Alexander the 6th death, Catholic Monsignor and historian Peter DeRue, wrote a five-volume defense of the controversial Pope, with the thesis that the Borgia Patriarch

had essentially been given the villain edit by history. It was D'Rue's stance that the banquet couldn't possibly have happened as described because Alexander would never have participated in behavior that was so, quote, truly bestial. Dereux has since been condemned by other historians for his, overly generous, if not delusional, view of the former Pope. As dubious as Duru's argument may be, it does bear stating that it was widely known

that Johann Barchard was not a fan of the Borgias. But would that lead him to fully fabricate a story? Or did he record it exactly as it occurred and let the family be judged by their own actions? In his book, the Borgia's power and depravity in Renaissance Italy, Paul Stratharne remarks on the, quote, lurid detail of Burchard's account, as well as a report by a contemporary from Perugia named Francesco Matarazzo. According to Madarazzo's account of the party, Pope Alexander had the lights extinguished, then, quote, the men and women left their clothes and had diversion. Still a salacious orgy, but not nearly as memorable as the banquet of chestnuts. Stratharne sums up what many Italians probably thought at the time.

Quote, despite the possibility of exaggeration in these reports, some of the details have a compelling particularity. If nothing else, the Borgias certainly seemed to be living up to their reputation. In other words, why be worried about the truth when the details are so fun and they could be true? And few people have had more fun with the story than William Manchester. In his controversial book, A World Lit Only by Fire, The Medieval Mind and the Renaissance, Manchester revels in the lurid details, often foregoing historical accuracy for the sake of a good story. He upgrades the courtesans from Burchard's account to, quote, the city's 50 most beautiful whores, end quote, and adds some graphic details of his own.

According to Manchester, quote, servants kept score of each man's orgasms for the Pope greatly admired virility and measured a man's machismo by his ejaculative capacity. after everyone was exhausted, his holiness distributed prizes. It's plausible, but we don't get those details in the original account. Hard to imagine what might have been going through the minds of the Borgia household servants as they stood by with pen and paper jotting down hash marks each time a sexual act was finished to completion. But in this version of the Borgia's story, one would have to imagine. imagine that at this point in the servant's tenure, they probably would have just considered it part of the job.

Manchester had a particular fascination with the female Borgia, even being generous enough to question the veracity of Lucretia's monstrous reputation. In his book, Manchester opined that, quote, the Lucretia Borgia, who has come down to us, is an admixture of myth, fable, and incontestable fact. It is quite possible that she was, to some degree, a victim of misogynistic slander. The medieval church saw woman as Ava Redaviva, the tempteress responsible for Adam's Fall, and the illegitimate daughter of a pope may have been an irresistible target for gossip, particularly when she was physically attractive.

End quote. If even a fairly salacious fabulous can spot misogyny, then I think it's safe to say it was well and present. On that note, let's look at Amy License's account from her book, The 16th Century in 100 Women. In the chapter titled Unnamed Prostitute Banquet of Chestnuts, License imagines how the night would have gone from the perspective of two sex workers who were brought to the palace for the evening. This version adheres fairly closely to Burchard's account as far as details go, with the added context of the role that sex work played in the culture. Lyssenes writes, quote, prostitution was tolerated as a necessary evil in Renaissance Italy, following the various teachings of the Catholic Church. St. Augustine wrote that it prevented men from corrupting

good women, and Thomas Aquinas believed that without it, the city would overflow with sin like a sewer, and men would turn to the greater sin of sodomy. Prostitution was decriminalized, but not respected. From that, one can imagine that the women were at the party, not as guests, but as some combination of entertainment and party favors. Without their work, it would have been just another drunken dinner party. License concludes her chapter on the banquet of chestnuts by zooming out and looking at the lives of 16th century sex workers in general. Quote, very few were able to serve members of the aristocracy, with the commensurate rewards that could bring. The majority had little control over their market or the customers who approached them, exposing themselves not just to disease, but

potentially to degradation and violence at the hands of the wrong man. The oldest profession in the world had its risks, and its surroundings were rarely as glamorous as the Vatican Palace. Sex might have sold, as it always has, but it paid very little, and the costs to prostitutes were often high. End quote. For a family like the Borges, the banquet of chestnuts, whether true or embellished, was a drop in the bucket, one more shiny bit of lore to add to an already impressive collection. For the courtesans tasked with providing the evening's entertainment, we can only imagine the long-term effects. What would happen if any of them became pregnant or injured or contracted an STI. Generally, honest courtesans received better treatment than their lower class counterparts.

Some even enjoyed the same perks afforded to dedicated mistresses. But there was certainly no code of conduct that their patrons were forced to adhere to, so we can safely assume that there was uncertainty and precariousness even at the highest levels of the profession. It's hard to imagine any member of the Borgia household giving even a glancing thought to the long-term welfare of the sex workers they brought in once the party was over.

The details of the banquet of chestnuts might have been exaggerated, or maybe it did happen exactly as the Master of Ceremony wrote down. Either way, I think it's worth looking past the salaciousness of the gossip and remembering that if it did happen,

there were 50 real-life women who had no choice but to become accessories to the Borgia's legend. That's the story of the banquet of chestnuts, but keep listening after a brief sponsor break to hear another rumor of impropriety at the papal palace. What's up, everyone? I'm Ego Wodom. My next guest, you know from Stepbrothers, Anchorman, Saturday Night Live, and the Big Money Players Network, it's Will Ferrell. My dad gave me the best advice ever. I went and had lunch with them one day, and I was like,

and dad, I think I want to really give this a shot. I don't know what that means, but I just know the groundlings. I'm working my way up through, and I know it's a place that come look for up and coming talent. He said, if it was based solely on talent, I wouldn't worry about you, which is really sweet. Yeah. He goes, but there's so much luck involved. And he's like, just give it a shot. He goes, but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit.

If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat. Just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck. Listen to Thanks Dad on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up, everyone?

I'm Ego Vodam. My next guest, you know from Step Brothers Anchorman, Saturday Night Live, and The Big Money Players Network. It's Will Ferrell. Woo, woo, woo, woo. My dad gave me the best advice ever. I went and had lunch with them one day, and I was like, and Dad, I think I want to really give this a shot.

I don't know what that means, but I just know the groundlings. I'm working my way up through, and I know it's a place that come look for up-and-coming talent. said if it was based solely on talent, I wouldn't worry about you, which is really sweet. Yeah. He goes, but there's so much luck involved. And he's like, just give it a shot. He goes, but if you ever reach a point where you're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore, it's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration.

It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat. Just hang in there. Yeah. It would not be... Right, it wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck. Listen to Thanks Dad on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Christopher Hibbert gives us an additional anecdote that serves as the perfect epilogue to our story.

In his book, The Borgias and Their Enemies, Hibbert details an event that happened just a few days after the banquet when a different kind of entertainment was brought into the palace. Thanks to our faithful diarist, Johann Burchard, there is an account in which a farmer delivering wood to the market was redirected by palace guards. The guards unsaddled the farmer's mares and led them to the courtyard inside the palace gates. According to Hibbert, quote, four stallions were then freed from their reins and harnesses and led out of the palace stables. They immediately ran to the mares, over whom they proceeded to fight furiously and noisily amongst themselves, biting and kicking in their efforts to mount them and seriously wounding them with their hooves.

The Pope and Lucretia, laughing with evident satisfaction, watched all that was happening from a window above the palace gate, end quote. Again, we must take Burchard's accounts with a grain of salt, But it's hard not to notice this story contains certain echoes of the banquet of chestnuts. Father and daughter taking in the spectacle, delighting in sexual exploits, this time with the addition of physical violence. Even if the family members never actually engaged in sexual acts with each other, their apparent comfort with being together in the presence of them is enough to raise eyebrows a little bit. At best, it's strange. At worst, the Borgias are never beating those incest allegations.

Noble Blood is a production of I-Heart Radio and Grim and Mild from Aaron Menke. Noble Blood is hosted by me, Danish forts, with additional writing and researching by Hannah Johnston, Hannah Zwick, Courtney Sender, Julia Melani, and Armand Kasam. The show is edited and produced by Noammy Griffin and Rima Il Kali. with supervising producer Josh Thane and executive producers Aaron Manky, Alex Williams, and Matt Frederick. For more podcasts from IHeartRadio, visit the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. What's up, everyone? I'm Ago Vodam. My next guest, it's Will Ferrell. My dad gave me the best advice ever. He goes, just give it a shot. But if you ever reach a point where you You're banging your head against the wall and it doesn't feel fun anymore.

It's okay to quit. If you saw it written down, it would not be an inspiration. It would not be on a calendar of, you know, the cat. Just hang in there. Yeah, it would not be. Right, it wouldn't be that. There's a lot of luck. Listen to Thanks Dad on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.