Noble Blood - The Tabloid Sacrifices of the Spare, Princess Margaret

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

Princess Margaret, Queen Elizabeth II's younger sister, was one of the most famous and glamorous women of the 20th century. But her life was lived in view of, and in response to, the tabloid scandals that threatened to undo her. Support Noble Blood: — Bonus episodes, stickers, and scripts on Patreon — Merch! — Order Dana's book, 'Anatomy: A Love Story' and its sequel 'Immortality: A Love Story'See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and IHart Podcast presents soccer moms. So I'm Leanne. Yeah. This is my best friend, Janet. Hey. And we have been joined at the hips since high school.

Absolutely. A redacted amount of years later, we're still joined at the hip. Just a little bit bigger hips. This is a podcast. We're recording it as we tailgate our youth soccer games in the back of my Honda Odyssey. With all the snacks and drinks. Why did you get hard seltzer instead of beer? Oh, they hit a bogo. Well, then you got them. Listen to soccer moms on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome to Noble Blood, a production of IHeart Radio and Grimm and Mild from Aaron Manky. Listener discretion advised. In Prince Harry's memoir, Spare, he writes, I was 20 the first time I heard the story of what Pa allegedly said to mummy the day of my birth. Wonderful. Now you've given me an air and a spare. My work is done. A joke, presumably. End quote. The label, spare, defined pretty much all of the now estranged Prent Harry's royal life and a good chunk of his self-perception. It is the title of his memoir, after all. Said memoir recounts many times when Harry felt more like a spare to his brother will than his own person, like how Charles and William were not allowed to fly on the same plane in case one of them

died, but no one cared what plane he, Harry, was on. In Harry's understanding, his role was to be a distraction in service to his brother, and maybe one day provide a kidney or other such spare parts. There were two particular groups, however, that cared a whole lot about what Prince Harry was doing as he got older, a large demographic of heterosexual women, and, more importantly here, the British press. Harry believes the tabloids singled him out to elevate the opinion of the other royals by comparison, the quote, public sacrifice of the spare, as Harry refers to it. There is perhaps no one who understood those public sacrifices of the spare and the nature of the press better than Harry's great-aunt, Princess Margaret. What could make the press even more

vulturous than going after the easy pickings of the spare? Going after a spare who is also a woman. When my sister and I were growing up, Margaret would reflect later in life, she was made out to be the goody-goody one. That wasn't interesting, so the press tried to say I was wicked as hell. It didn't always work." End quote. That reputation would follow Margaret for her entire life, commenting on and eventually also informing the person she became. Daughter of King George the 6th, younger sister and only sibling of the future Queen Elizabeth II, Princess Margaret was bound to become a celebrity. Her destiny was further assured by her socialite lifestyle and often objectively messy romantic life. She remains known as the Rebel Princess,

the Black Sheep, and an icon in her own right. A 2017 biography was sold with the description, she made John Lennon Blush and Marlon Brando clam up. She cold-a-shouldered Princess Diana and humiliated Elizabeth Taylor. Andy Warhol photographed her. Jack Nicholson offered her cocaine. Gore Vidal revered her. John Foles hoped to keep her as his sex slave. No matter where those anecdotes fall on the scale of truth, it cannot be denied that Princess Margaret was a fixture in the heart of 20th century culture.

Beyond the press and the glitz, however, was a woman coping with the nature of fame, her own personal struggles, and yes, of course, these strange and unnatural pressures of being a royal and being a spare. I'm Dana Schwartz, and this is Noble Blood. Margaret was born on August 21, 1930, at Glamas Castle in Scotland, her mother's ancestral home. Margaret's family actually delayed to register her birth until October 2nd, though, as Margaret would have been number 13 on the local registry, and superstition cautioned them to wait for another baby to be born in the village.

Wonder what happened to that child? Margaret's parents were then known as the Duke and Duchess of York, making her Princess Margaret Rose of York. Her mother, Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lion, came from a long line of Scottish peers of the realm, while her father, Albert Frederick Arthur George, was the second son of King George V, himself the spare after his older brother, David.

And as fate would have it, he was a spare that would actually be required in service. But back before all of that, the Duke was determined to make sure his two daughters looked back fondly on their, quote, early years as a golden age, end quote, as opposed to his own bleak memories of childhood. And while this meant they were raised with much love,

the princesses did not receive much in the way of an education. Margaret and Elizabeth's mother believed her daughters needed only to be educated as, quote, nicely behaved young ladies, as the journalist Randolph Churchill once described. This meant that the girls would draw, dance, and appreciate music, as well as maintain proper manners and feminine grace. When their grandmother, Queen Mary, insisted on the importance of a broader education,

the girl's mother dismissed the idea. I don't know what she meant, she apparently said. After all, I and my sisters only had governesses, and we all married well, one of us very well. As an adult, Margaret would come to you. resent her mother for this. The princess's governess was a 24-year-old Scotswoman named Mary Crawford, dubbed Crawfie by the young then-princess Elizabeth. Much of the information that we have about the young princess's childhoods comes from Crawfie herself, but more on that in a bit.

We know that Margaret was an imaginative child. She would be quick to place the blame for wrongdoings on an imaginary friend, Cousin Halifax. The imagination wasn't always cute to Crawfie, though, who painted a picture of Margaret as, yes, imaginative, talented, and witty, but also naughty, untidy, and strong-willed. An old story goes that when Margaret was dressed up as an angel to attend a fancy dress party, her mother exclaimed, You don't look very angelic, Margaret.

That's all right, quips the princess. I'll be a holy terror. Many of these anecdotes come from Crawford's 1950 book, The Little Princesses, published only a few short years after her 1947 retirement upon the marriage of Elizabeth. The book was a commercial success, but as you might imagine, it felt like a betrayal to the royal family who did not consent to its publication, nor did they approve of their characterizations. By this time, the public had plenty of established opinions on Margaret, but her portrayal in the book as a child who was spoiled and jealous of her, quote,

priggish older sister, only sought to confirm the public perceptions of the woman they thought they knew. put in perhaps gentler terms, the girl's father once described Elizabeth as his pride and Margaret as his joy. Crawfey likely didn't have her sights set on a tell-all when she first took the job, because who would care all that much about a tell-all about the daughters of a duke? But as we know, history took a different path. For those who haven't seen the crown or are generally unfamiliar with 20th century English royal history, it can be briefly summarized like this. David, the Prince of Wales, future king of England, fell madly in love with a twice-divorced American woman named Wallace Simpson.

The royal family was incredibly wary of that romance, believing her to be a wicked seductress, and as head of the Church of England, an institution that did not recognize divorce, she would never make a suitable wife for a monarch. King George V died and David ascended to the throne as Edward V. Edward did not care much about his new duties. In fact, he mostly seemed to care about his wicked seductuous divorcee girlfriend, who incidentally only became twice divorced, after she officially left her second husband, which she hadn't earlier.

The royal family, realizing that the king actually intended to marry her, lost their collective minds. So Edward abdicated to Mary Simpson and his younger brother ascended as George the Sixth. To Margaret, King Edward was simply Uncle David. In the days before Wallace Simpson, his public persona, was more in line with how people would come to see Margaret as a royal socialite, unconcerned with the rigidity and discipline his family and the position required. It was always Margaret's father, like her sister Elizabeth, who fell more in line with what was expected of a monarch.

When Margaret's father unexpectedly became king, Margaret was suddenly second in line to inherit the throne, and the family moved into Buckingham Palace. Unlike the rest of her family, Margaret did not undertake public or official duties in those early years. Instead, she spent much of her time as a child and teen, learning the piano and practicing show tunes, which she would perform for guests. The Dowager Queen Mary apparently used to describe her granddaughter in French as Ispegles, or Mischievous, giving her an early reputation among those in the know as an infant terribes. Margaret's first big moment in the public eye was in February, 1947 at age 16, when all four members of the royal family embarked on a three-month tour of South Africa.

Margaret's role on the trip was apparently, quote, a relatively thankless one for, beside her sister, heir to the throne, she, Margaret, cut a less prominent figure in the eyes of the public. Yet throughout the daily round of civic ceremonies, that pretty and highly personable young princess held her own. That's a quote from Peter Townsend, the King's Equiry, and for the purposes of this trip, Margaret's Chaparone. It's a fairly accurate assessment from a man who will come back to play a much bigger role in the story soon. The press's focus at the time was Elizabeth, who turned 21 during the trip and who made her first major speech. But stories were already beginning to circulate about the Enfantarib's eye rolls towards officials. Shortly after the family's return to

England, the engagement between Princess Elizabeth and Prince Philip was announced, even though The couple had privately gotten engaged before the trip even began. At the same time, it was agreed upon that Margaret had been a success in South Africa and would begin to take on more public duties, including some that formerly had belonged to her older sister. She would launch ships, attend gala performances, inspect guards, visit charitable institutions, tour hospitals, you name it. This was the true beginning of Margaret's tabloid life. As she stepped out more and more,

the press began to recognize something in her that they didn't quite see in her dutiful older sister. Star quality. She was pretty, glamorous, charismatic, and single. When Christian Dior launched his first collection in late 1947 and established the new look of cinched waists and full skirts for women's fashion, Margaret was one of the first public figures to adopt it, disregarding government disapproval of the extravagant style.

When Margaret arrived at an event for her parent's anniversary in this new style and a pair of very high heels, it said that her example was followed by 10 million British women. The press fixated on her every detail. She had a 23-inch waist and a 34-inch bust and vivid blue eyes. They knew all her favorite haunts, the 400 Club and the Cafe de Perry and Mirabelle, and they knew all the friends that she met there, a group they would come to call the Margaret set.

Mostly composed of the children of politicians or peers of the realm, they all had fantastic rich people names like Sass Douglas, Lady Caroline Montague Douglas Scott, and Sunny Blandford. Margaret and her friends were portrayed as glamorous socialites, but also spoiled party animals. In other words, the press's two favorite things one can be. At 19, Margaret was seen smoking for the first time out of a long ivory cigarette holder after dinner in a West End restaurant,

which incited backlash and started a trend at the same time. Those who saw her in a negative light were only reinforced by the 1950s publication of Crawfey's book, which characterized Margaret not only as a troublemaking child, but a spoiled young adult who made a joke of everything. She is Britain's number one item for public scrutiny. read an American headline from around the same time, people are more interested in her than in the House of Commons or the Dollar Crisis. Despite being known as young and rebellious, Margaret did take her royal status very seriously.

To her friends, she was ma'am, and her father was only to be referred to as His Majesty the King. I feel sorry for her, a party guest apparently once said. she hasn't the faintest idea of what anyone is like, referring to the way that everyone would change when she stepped into a room. But it seemed that was the way Margaret wanted it. She was a notorious stickler for detail in her royal inspections, and the singer Peggy Lee remembered that when she performed at the Pagale, freshly ironed sheets had to be laid over the kitchen floor of the club

because they heard Princess Margaret would be arriving by a back entrance. In the spring of 1949, Margaret made an official visit to Italy, where she was mobbed everywhere she went like a film star. Crowds were eager to get a glimpse at La Bella Margarita. A maid was paid by the press to find out what was in her hotel room, and a blurry photograph of Margaret in a pale bathing suit made its way into newspapers and magazines, sparking rumors that she was bathing nude. Rumors surrounding this Italian trip would reach new heights,

with the release of a little film called Roman Holiday a few years later, in which Audrey Hepburn played a princess touring Italy, who escapes her royal duties and ends up meeting and falling in love with an American journalist played by Margaret's favorite actor, Gregory Peck. By that time, there was an obvious parallel in the minds of the public. Princess Margaret and Peter Townsend told you he'd be back. On June 14, 1953, the tabloid, The People, became the first to break news of the relationship between the princess and her chaperon with the headline,

They Must Deny It Now, advising that, it is high time for the British public to be made aware of the fact that scandalous rumors about the Princess Margaret are racing around the world. Two months later, the film Roman Holiday was released, and the public interest surrounding the real couple was so intense that Paramount was apparently made to record an extra scene to establish that Audrey Hepburn's character was not a member of the British royal family. According to the actress, the parallel was milked for all it was worth, but what was the woman? Whether or not screenwriters had heard rumors of the real-life affair or Paramount just got incredibly lucky, we'll never know.

Townsend, for his part, was not present for the real-life Italian trip. Some background on him? Townsend was a captain in the Royal Air Force and a decorated World War II hero. When the king wanted someone from the Royal Air Force to represent at court, Townsend was recommended to him to serve as a temporary equerry, which quickly became a permanent position as the king became fond of him. He was 29 when he was hired and accomplished in his military career, but hailing from a middle-class background, which made him something of an outsider at court. He was also notably married, but 14-year-old Margaret is still said to have quickly developed a crush.

The story goes, she told friends she fell in love with him when she was 16 on the South African tour, but to the public, both Margaret and Townsend, had claimed there were no inklings of romance until after he and his wife separated in 1951, and the couple confessed their love to each other, only after his divorce was granted in 1952 on the grounds of his wife's adultery. The relationship carried on privately for about a year. year, with those in the nose stressing about its possibilities and hoping it to be a brief affair. That was until their accidental public debut at Elizabeth's coronation in June 1953, following the death of their father the year before. There, photographers caught a glimpse of Margaret

brushing a bit of lint off Townsend's uniform, which was perceived as two-eastern. intimate and tender, not to be romantic in nature. The secret was out the next day in papers across the continent and in America, but the British press actually held off covering the story as long as they could to remain in the palace's favor, as they had done earlier during the time of Edward and Wallace Simpson. When the people was finally first to cover the story 12 days later, they used an old trick to get around the issue of loyalty by expressing mock outrage at these rumors on Margaret's behalf. It is quite unthinkable that a royal princess, third in line of succession to the throne, should even contemplate a marriage with a man who has been through the divorce courts.

Behind the scenes, Margaret and Townsend had been thinking about marriage, but Elizabeth had advised them to wait a year, most likely, secretly hoping the relationship would fizzle out, but not wanting to disappoint her beloved sister. There was also the matter of the Royal Marriages Act of 1772, which meant that until Margaret was 25, she would need Elizabeth's consent to marry someone of her choice. Once the relationship got the public's attention,

it became a matter not just of royal gossip, but a matter of government. And with both the government and the crown opposed to the match, it was recommended that Townsend be sent away for some time. He was effectively exiled to Brussels without Margaret's knowledge. But what did the public really think of the relationship? At the time of Townsend's exile, the Daily Mirror polled its readers, asking them, should they marry? 67,907 mirror readers voted yes.

Only 2,235 said no. With the floodgates open, every paper in the country soon had an opinion on the marriage, with some arguing that Margaret was setting a poor example in her potential willingness to defy the church, while others considered the church's opinion outdated and supported, the couple as a romance defying all odds. Others simply considered it a matter of personal choice.

Michael Foote, a future Labor Party leader, wrote in the Tribune, This intolerable piece of interference with a girl's private life is all part of the absurd myth about the royal family, which has been so sedulously built up by interested parties in recent years. He argued that the laws of England allowed for, divorce, and the royal family was just as subject to those laws as anyone else. Behind the scenes, despite Townsend's forced exit, those close to the couple would say in the following years that they were still very much in love and spoke constantly. This discourse

continued for another two years and reached a climax around Margaret's 25th birthday, which was the year she would no longer need the monarch's consent to marry. Come on, Margaret, read the Daily Mail's front page two days before her birthday. She could end the hubbub, will she please, make up her mind. In October 1955, only a few months after her birthday, Margaret and Townsend officially reunited, but it wasn't a private affair. Quote, the restraint, which had until now characterized the British press in its coverage of the royal persons, disappeared forever.

writes biographer Theo Aronson. The final crisis of the world's greatest royal romance was played out in the most merciless of spotlights, end quote. The estate where the two stayed together was surrounded day and night, complete with airplanes circling above, and the press would not relent,

even in spite of the Queen's secretary's pleas for privacy. Despite the public fervor in favor of the roeuvre in favor of the romance, the government did not relent its stance against the marriage. They declared that if the princess insisted on marrying Townsend, then a bill would be placed in front of parliament stripping her of all of her rights, privileges, and income. She would also have to be married in a civil ceremony and be forced to live out of the country for the first few years. ultimately, despite her, by all accounts, genuine love for Townsend, it was not the life she wanted. In his memoirs, Townsend wrote, quote, it was too much to ask of her, too much for her to give.

We would have been left with nothing but our devotion to face the world. Finally, making a decision, he said, liberated them after several tumultuous years. At last, we could talk without that quote, at last we could talk without that crucial. crushing weight of world opinion, the sympathy, the criticism, the pity, and the anger, all the mass of emotion which had weighed so heavily on our minds. Of those many opinions, Margaret allegedly later told friends, they were so against us, it almost made me change my mind and marry him after all. Years later, Friends and Townsend came to similar conclusions.

Margaret was simply not ready to be a housewife and a stepmother to two sons at age 25. In the wake of the Townsend affair, you can imagine the press only wanted more and more of Margaret. One daily mirror headline simply asked, Is she sad? Yes, probably. Margaret coped with the aftermath by leading a more active social life than ever, reviving the pre-engagement socialite days of the Margaret set, with an even greater emphasis on her love of live theater and entertainment.

Though it never quieted down, the next major frenzy of press to reach Townsend Heights would come not with her marriage to, but her divorce from Antony Armstrong Jones. The couple first met in 1958 at a dinner party, and Margaret was drawn to the man with footholds in both the aristocratic and artistic worlds. His father was a barrister, his mother a socialite. In his youth, he found he was not particularly skilled at school or sports,

but he had a unique passion for photography and had by the point of their meeting built a career as a celebrated theatrical and portrait photographer. The couple were able to keep their courtship a secret from the press, and the announcement of their engagement in February 1960 came as a surprise. It was framed as a second chance at happiness after being denied her marriage to Townsend, and the public finally got their reverse Cinderella story of a commoner marrying a princess. Not everyone was thrilled with Anthony's relatively humble background, as the Times put it, there was, quote, no recent precedent for the marriage of one so near the throne outside the ranks of international royalty and the British peerage.

And quote, their wedding was the first royal wedding to be televised, as was fitting for the modern princess, and her, quote, simple wedding dress was designed by Norman Hartnell, and it was considered a statement of Margaret's individuality. As a wedding present, a friend gifted Margaret a plot of land on his private Caribbean island, Mustique, which would become infamously associated with Margaret years later. To the public, the couple, now known as the Snowdens, after Antony's appointment as the Earl of Snowden, were favorites, seen as living a chic bohemian lifestyle, while the rest of the royal family was stuck. in the Victorian era. They were both interested in fashion and adopted the mod look,

which only led to the couple being more photographed. They ran in celebrity circles. Margaret befriended drag queens, playwrights, musicians, John Lennon knew the couple as Priceless Margarine and Bonnie Armstrong. Behind the scenes and two children later, the marriage was rocky, with Armstrong Jones realizing a bit too late that he was not fit for a life of royal engagements, and he yearned to reignite the career he had been forced to leave behind. Both husband and wife began to engage in extramarital affairs. By the end of 1966, Margaret was smoking and drinking excessively to cope with the fracturing relationship. As early as 1967, the press began to share whispers that there was trouble in paradise.

A well-known royal gossip writer once admitted to the author Andrew Duncan that he was making up stories about the Snowdens to sell to foreign magazines. Of course, I exaggerate, he claimed. What are they going to do, sue me? The instability for the couple continued for years, but came to a head in 9.5. 1976, when Margaret was photographed, swimming on her private island with a man 17 years her junior. He was Roddy Llewellyn, a young landscape gardener and aristocrat. They had met three years earlier when she was 43 and he was 25, and he was invited to lunch

with the princess and mutual friends. The two apparently got on well immediately, and Margaret, having been through so much emotional turmoil in recent years, was excited at the prospect of starting something new with the younger man. However, soon after it began, the affair proved to be too much for Llewellyn, who had his own history of mental health struggles. He fled abroad, seeking an escape from it, but eventually came back to check into the care of a psychiatrist. Margaret, for her part, was devastated by his departure and took too many sleeper. pills. I was so exhausted because of everything, she later reflected, that all I wanted to do was

sleep. Margaret and Roddy were able to reconcile after both of their healths had improved, and they resumed what Margaret called their loving friendship. They visited Margaret's house on Mustique together, where they were photographed by a photographer who had snuck onto the island posing as a tourist. Margaret Roddy and a couple staying with them all had gone swimming together, but when the photos were published, they were cropped to make it look like Margaret and the young man were alone. They appeared on the front page of News of the World, and the royal family was rocked with a scandal they hadn't seen since the days of Townsend. The press hounded her toy boy, while politicians took to calling Margaret a royal parasite and a flusie who wasted taxpayer money

vacationing with younger men. It was also apparently the final nail in the coffin of the Snowden marriage, an excuse to finally seek divorce. Of course, it's now seen as an ironic twist that Margaret's first major scandal began with a divorce and her second major scandal ended with one. More quote-unquote serious newspapers took to blaming the divorce on the gossip rags. Almost since the day of their marriage, the press, fed by bitchy society gossip, took a prurient and intrusive interest in their private life, noted the Times as Philip Howard upon the royal split. The princess, he said, was fair game, quote, for our national hyper masquerading as morality. The earlier assertion that the British press forever changed with

the Townsend affair was accurate, and representative of the kind of invasiveness royal women like Princess Diana, Sarah Ferguson, and Megan Markle would one day face. In 1978, shortly after the divorce was finalized, Margaret fell ill. While she continued to be involved in the the arts and charity works, she struggled greatly with her health for the remainder of her life due to her chronic smoking and drinking. Her last public appearances were at the 101st birthday celebration of her mother and the 100th birthday celebration of her aunt Alice. Margaret died at age 71 from complications after a stroke. Later in life, Margaret herself reflected on what she felt her role in the public I was.

Quote, in my own humble way, I've always tried to take some of the burden off of my sister. She can't do it all, you know, and I leap at the opportunity to help. Sometimes it can be very formal and boring, but I've got a reflex against that now. It's very much up to one not to be bored. That's the story of Princess Margaret's public life, but keep listening after a brief sponsor break to hear about one particularly juicy, alleged dalliance. You can have opinions. You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight

change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation. There is one finding that is consistent, and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes. Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can have opinions.

You can have like a strong stance. And then there's your body having its own program. I'm Dr. Maya Shunker, a cognitive scientist and hosts of the podcast, a slight change of plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans. We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation. There is one finding that is consistent, and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships. I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change. We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes.

Listen to a slight change of plans on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Throughout her lifetime, Margaret was linked to far more men than I had to. time to mention today, but some were so iconic that they deserve special mention. The rumor mill has long alleged that Llewellyn wasn't the only man Margaret courted in Mustique. Mick Jagger visited the island on Margaret's invitation and evidently enjoyed it so much that he eventually built a home there. The two met at a birthday party in the early 1970s, and while the wording may be different, all sources note that Margaret's dress was low-cut when she made her first introduction to the singer. They spent the night chatting and a source from a Jagger biography alleges that after that they,

quote, spoke on the phone constantly and Margaret invited him to social events. Like many other women, she found him sexy and exciting. If you saw them together dancing, the way she'd put her hand on his knee and giggle at his stories like a schoolgirl, you'd have thought there was something going on. Neither Margaret nor Mick Jagger have ever spoken about a relationship, but it said they remained friends until Margaret's death. Noble Blood is a production of IHeart Radio and Grim and Mild from Aaron Manky. Noble Blood is created and hosted by me, Dana Schwartz, with additional writing and researching

by Hannah Johnston, Hannah Zwick, Mira Hayward, Courtney Sender, and Lori Goodman. The show is edited and produced by Noamie Griffin and Rima Il Kali, with supervising producer Josh Thane and executive producers Aaron Manky, Alex Williams, and Matt Frederick. For more podcasts from IHartRadio, visit the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Farrell's Big Money Players and IHart Podcast presents soccer moms. So I'm Leanne. Yeah. This is my best friend, Janet. Hey. And we have been joined at the hips since high school. Absolutely.

A redacted amount of years later, we're still joined at the hip. Just a little bit bigger hips. This is a podcast. We're recording it as we tailgate our youth soccer games in the back of my Honda Odyssey. With all the snacks and drinks. Why did you get hard seltzer instead of beer? They hit a bogo. Well, then you got them.

Listen to soccer moms on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human.