Nobody Panic - Guided Boxing Day Special

Episode Date: December 26, 2023

Like a guided run, but for Boxing Day - whether you’re seeing family and wish you could stay in bed, or have woken up with the whole day ahead of you and no idea how to fill it, listen to the soothing sounds of Stevie and Tessa's voices to help you get through this sacred day of Box.Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded by Ben Williams and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The date is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace. It's coming to London. True on Saturday the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September at King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. One day a year, if you're not going to family or you're not being casted around, you can do whatever you like. So don't feel guilty about getting up too late. Or at the same time that you'd normally get up for work. Because that's just your circadian rhythm, baby. You're doing fine. Maybe stay in bed for a bit.

Have a little look around. Have a stretch. And welcome to the Nobody Panic, guided boxing day. I was really enchanted. Thank you. Carry on. No, I think you should take over. What can they do in bed?

Have a wank. Have a yule-tide bonk. A self-bong. Listen, we looked at the calendar and we saw that this one was coming out on Boxing Day. And we thought, well, we've got to address it. We have to. But what can we do? Because it's now.

So we can't say like... A great point. We can't say like... Address the box elephant in the room. We must. We can't do think ahead to New Year. We can't do what to do on boxing day because it's... And plan ahead.

It's now. It is upon us. So it's a guided boxing day experience. Yeah. Will this be helpful? We don't know. We can't unfortunately do the full day because that would be an eight hour podcast. But basically we're going to do an hour.

Stevie working to her own private calendar. clock where her days are only eight hours. Yes, that is correct. Yeah, lovely. Because you have eight hours of doing and then the rest is for thinking and sleeping. Of course. Yeah. The, this first hour will, the intention is to really set you up for the rest of the day. And this is for those people who aren't doing anything for the rest of the day. But I suppose we could also give some tips if you, if you are being carted around to various family members and you've woken up and you're like, I wanted a day off, but I've got to go to

anti-uncle's house. Absolutely. So this is, if you're dreading the day ahead, if you're excited for the day ahead, if you're thinking, the hell am I going to do today? We've got you. We've got you. A level of confidence that you will quickly discover is unfounded, but we've got you.

So I want you to take a moment. Hopefully you're wearing your Christmas pyjamas. If not, put them on. Get out of bed. Get out of bed. Put them on. Go put them on. Get back in bed. They're in the laundry basket. Doesn't matter. It's just you in there. Or it's not. Or not.

If there's two of you, hello to you both. If they can't hear, pop an iPod in the rear. And then they'll quickly turn to you and be like, what is this? Hello? This is nobody panicked? They'll say, is this this thing you're always listening to? Yeah. It's awful.

It's Boxing Day. Come on, live a little. Right. You're in the bed. I want you to stretch out your right hand. What's that on the bedside table? It's a chocolate orange. It is.

Yeah. It is. Stretch to the left. What's that? that? Toebronone. Get them both in. Get them both in. For what is boxing day if not to begin by eating? The Toblerone chocolate orange fruit salad for breakfast. A hundred percent because I was going to say you're probably feeling full of indigestion. Your stomach probably feels like a cement mixer from the day before and I was going to sort of suggest to do some sort of get your phone,

Google like, I don't know, yoga, simple stretching for when your stomach's like, well, really bad to do bit of that. Or absolutely smash out a chocolate orange. I say, we go again. I think it's time. We go again. Let's give this season a poignant ending. Let's go hard.

Yeah, we're not, this isn't the end. No, I mean, there's so much more to give. As in like this book, like you go, well, I should be, I should have maybe, I should reset, have a nice healthy breakfast to know, like go harder. No, no, no. We're not ready to reset. Okay. Good.

Neither more. In one hand. Chocolate orange in the other. Yeah. We go again. Okay. You won't believe what happened to me this morning, which is I rose. I went on Instagram, of course.

And what did I discover? But that Trini from Trini and Susanna was going live. Oh, a big morning. I click on it. Never done that before. She's always having a live video. I've never been there. I click on it.

I'm the third person in. It's a lot of pressure. I was like, I guess I have to stay with you. Yeah, and comment. Hello. I honestly was like, good morning, Trinney. I was so scared. It was a moment where you were like, can she say?

see me. Yes, 100%. She was so close to the camera saying, hello. And I was like, hello, Trinney. Like, I was so, I was so worried that she and the other, the other two, very, very quickly, 100, 200, 300, 700 of us had joined. And I was like, I want everyone to know. I was number three. Thank you. And she did a live yoga with us. This is what we're talking about. And I was like, right, I'll just watch with one eye open. But then she was like, so we start sitting and I was like, I could sit, I guess. So I sat and we did the arms. I did the the stretches. So you're in bed. You're going to sit up. And I want, if you can, to sit up, cross those legs like a yogi, as flexible as you can be. And if you think, not very,

when there's no judgment here, it's boxing day. Do whatever you can. Do what feels nice. So you put hands full of chocolate. It's hard to, like, bend. Extend those arms, palms facing forward. Palms facing forward. Open that chest up. Open that chest up. But then, would you believe she's going back the other way? She's going backwards, bringing her arms together. So she brings the to-bo and the chocolate orange together. Yep. In front of her. Exhale.

And on the inhale, she separates the chocolate. And then inhale back. They come together. If your partner's in bed with you. And then I'll produce who's got his head in his hands. You've got to stay. You've got to, you got to tell anyone else in bed with you that they must at this point remain horizontal. Otherwise, you are, you're hitting them over and over again.

You're smashing them. And maybe there you can join you. Please. And then it was a little twist to the left. A little twist to the right. Just the right. And I was like, oh, this is the very. Measually amount of yoga that I don't mind.

And so I was like, okay, I'm moving, I'm feeling my body. Okay, why not? Now, at this point, you can take the reins of the yoga and simply stretch out any bit of limb that needs a stretch. Anything that feels good. Anything that feels good, those legs, those toes, good toes, naughty toes, wiggle them about. Wiggle those naughty toes. Wiggle those knees. Get a bit of a hip flexer going in here.

Oh, hello. We're feeling lovely. Pose of a child. Pose of a child. Always. And then we can get up in our own time. And if we don't wish to, we don't have to. No.

And while you take a moment in the bed deciding if you're going to embrace the day or not, zero pressure, Stevie, could you tell us what your boxing day looks like? It's often the day of just doing nothing. Nothing. And what happens is around this time, this is possibly why you're listening to this episode. I have a sense of sort of like, okay, it's good that I've got nothing to do. but like I don't just want to lie here all day in the old days of course the days of your

it would be the day where I would be like playing with all my toys don't have any toys now have things like size 14 how you wasted M&S knickers you can't really play with them no once one's on that's on that's on you could put more on I suppose but why is the question

to what end it's not fun and a new phone case well I've put it on now So that's that done. So I'm sort of faced with this kind of empty void. And then of course, if I'm seeing family, that then is also like, oh, well, I want to have the void. So you can never kind of win on Boxing Day.

So I think anyone listening, now you've done that beautiful stretch, you've eaten your Tolloran and your chocolate orange. I think it's time to look forward at what the day is going to be. Is it going to be a lazy day? Is it going to be a day where you have to go and see people? and you're going to make peace with it. I am what I am. This is what it is. And I'm going to make the best of every element of today.

You may have to go to a city to go and visit family. You don't really want to see. Okay, well, on that journey, how are you going to make that journey Christmasy? Fun. Take some mince pies in the car. Wear a little Santa hat. Headphones in. Listen to some great podcasts.

Not particularly this episode, but like another one, for example. Really commit to having a good thing. good conversation with that uncle that you don't really know or care for. You're going to find out three things about each family member that you don't really, you know, have never really had a relationship with. There we go. That's, you're going to then, then you're going to count Christmas trees on the way home and all compete to get the most.

Something like that, you know? Oh, wow, wow. So already it's like, well, now it's not just going to see those people that I'm a bit worried about. Now it's, it's an adventure. It's a quest. There are things to do. Everybody taking in turns to present the most Christmassy.

thing on the audio medium, on the tape player, on the car radio. Okay. What am I describing? Like a Spotify playlist or something on the phone. But everybody, you can't just play a Christmas track. You've got to be thinking outside the box. I'd like to present Snoop Dog reading towards the night before Christmas. I see.

Extra points for, yes, not the obvious one. Not the obvious ones. No Mariah Carey here. We're done with that now. So no obvious choice is allowed. and on the tape player. On the tape player. Let's be listening to Andy Circus reading The Hobbit.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Is it Christmas? No, but is it not Christmas? Not. It's not not. It's not not. Ghost stories, always Christmassy for some reason.

Yes. Like there's traditional kind of Dickensian audio book, go story. If you're desperate for your day off, it's coming. It's coming. There's a day, you know, you'll have your day on your own. Right now you're going to go see your uncle and under you don't like. Come on. Come on.

It's just 24 hours. They're just people. Yeah, they've got some violent political views. Yeah, but they've got some good quiche. Come and have a bit of quiche with your auntie, for God's sake. If you think, what then earth will I tell them about? Perhaps can I interest you in a boxing day fact? Is that how you're going to present that everybody?

Yes. Hello. Can I interest you in a boxing day fact? They say, I think Suella Braviman had some good ideas. Can I interest you? Yeah, I see how it works. You say, scream it over the top of people. know the etymology of Boxing Day.

Well, no, I don't. Thank you, Uncle. Thank you, Uncle. And that's stopped the Soella Chat in its tracks, as it not. It was traditionally the day in which the servants were invited up from below deck and presented with their Christmas box. What was in the Christmas box? Bits, a bonus, some old clothes. Okay.

And some leftovers. Oh, right. And you'd have been mighty grateful. Well, I suppose the level of bits and leftovers and stuff and old clothes would be a higher level because they're rich people. Certainly. Perhaps a dress discarded after this year, but only worn a few times. I'd love that. And then what are you doing with your box?

Boxing day is the day when all the servants had the day off. And so everyone's going home to their families with their Christmas box. Okay. And the rich folk in the big house are now left to fend for themselves. Wow. Much as we do today, what will we do? What's in the Christmas box? What's in the Christmas box?

The box of the Boxing Day word also is thought to refer to the arms box. Yeah. Was a box at the back of the church that people had been putting in their money in all year round. And on Boxing Day, it was opened. Oh, that's nice. The original unboxing video, if you will. Oh, that's lovely. And then the money was distributed to the poor.

Oh, maybe do that. Exactly right. So if that is something that you're like, oh. I have been saving money for the poor all year round. I'll give it to them all. I always think a nice boxing day thing to do would be to donate a little bit of money to Wikipedia. I wasn't expecting that. I really wasn't expecting that.

Okay. Not charity? Oh, yeah. And. And Wikipedia. Please make a charitable donation to the charities of your choice. I see, because you just given some good facts. I just think I was just reading it just this.

second on Wikipedia and thinking we all use Wikipedia so often. Don't you think? Why are you laughing? It's just, no, it's nice. Yeah, so like as part of your life's things. So you're up, you've stretched, you've donated to Wikipedia and the day can begin. And then, there are the charities. What, do you want to the list of the charities? No, no, I meant and donate to all the charities. Obviously. I'm not suggesting all of your money should go to Wikipedia. I just meant as part of your big charity donation today. And that can be whatever. that means to you, it could be a pound, it could be a hundred pounds. Or nothing, because the cost of living crisis has hit us all.

Absolutely. But I think it would be nice to make the small gesture of like, I try and do a good thing, however small. That's nice. Try and do it, try to do one good deed today. One good deed. If you can't do it for somebody else, do it for yourself. What? Well, what is your suggestion is that you, it's for yourself?

Like a face mask or something? No, I know. I've pivoted from Give to the board Doing a Facebook No I'm sorry I'm going to stand by it

Okay It can be just one pound If you're really broke Absolutely But I think there's just Even in Whatever situation you're in There is something to be said

For like doing good And doesn't have to be money You know It can be Decing you're going to give you A time to something Or you're going to do There's so many charitable projects

That don't involve any money at all just some time. So you get up here to get involved in a charitable project? Yeah, or just commit to doing one. Commit to doing one. It doesn't have to be like, oh my God, what, now. I've got to go to plant a tree now. Oh, I see.

You know, it's just like, huh, I'm going to make a stretch. I'm making my decision of Wikipedia. And now I'm planting a tree. No, I'm just being like, oh, I will do one good deed. Yes. If I can't do it today, I'm going to make a decision that I'm going to sign up for this X, whatever means something to you or your community or whatever, you know. And then by the end, by the time you've listened to you're like,

fuck it, just have some money for God's sake. Yeah. with it. Yes. Yeah. It's for the spirit of boxing day. That's, yes, we talk a lot about the spirit of Christmas. Spirit of boxing day.

Yeah, is to give. It's to give. To give your Christmas box this year. Amen. Have you got any absolutely dog shit presents? Time to eBay them. Time to eBay. Or the charity shop.

Or the charity shop. Vinted, very good for that. On to Vinted they go. Especially if it's a gift, that's better because the problem with Vinted is when you get given stuff, especially like clothes and stuff, you pay like three pounds for everything. Why is something so cheap? And then you try and sell something. You're like,

oh yeah, because you have to sell it for three pounds. No one will buy anything. I'm invented for a normal amount. So it's a gift. That, you're in profit, baby. Oh, yeah.

You haven't paid. What are we doing with that three pounds? Giving it to the art. Giving it to a charity. Yeah. No, you don't have to do that. But let's get rid of all those things.

If something's like, oh, what a lovely gift, thank you so much. I accept the bond that you offer me as you give them in this gift. I'm, thank you so much.

I hate it. I will be, You think in your private head. Yes. And then you think I hate it and I'm going to get that out of my life right away. I go straight on eBay. I'm going to box that up. That's gone.

That's gone. Boxing day. Box up the things you don't want. Boxing the things you don't want. Let them go and be free. Go out into the universe. These are of course things to do if you're not going, you know, you've not got your day filled with family. But there's even something to be said for like, do it very quick.

On the way. On the way in the car. When people are like, get in the car. You're like, I'm doing the boxes. Boxing. I'm boxing it up. Now, I feel like a. Watching an old film is a good thing if you've got some time.

Watching an old film in the bath. Oh my God, that's lovely. Yeah. Oh, okay. I'm seeing watching an old film in the bath. I'm going to pivot in the opposite direction. Football. Okay.

You can do that after you do football and then have a bath to ease your joints. Home from the football to walk. Get in the bath? Yes, please. Okay. So it's been, it was suggested that you go to find your local football. Oh my God. Your local football team.

Even if you're like, I don't know anything about football, I don't even know who my local find them. Yeah. Off you pop and be like, oh, wow, all these people have come out in their Christmas hats and people are doing songs and that man selling sausages and what a time. And then suddenly you're buying a scarf and you're supporting your new team and you're learning all the songs. That's nice. And thinking, oh, that chance, bit racy actually. I won't do that one. And you think, wow.

If you want to get out of the house. Yeah. Could be football. Could be something else. And I'll offer you something else. No, I can't wait to hear what it is. It's another bath. No, it is what we used to do on Christmas Day when we had Christmas at my grandmas.

My dad used to run up the nearest mountain. Again, wasn't expecting that. And also with the sadness with which you said it. Well, I was like five. And he'd be like, come on, we're running up this mountain now. Oh, my God. It's the, on Instagram you see, it's like, it's the boxing day swim. And you're like, I would rather die.

I don't want to do that. It's so cold. I don't want to. I've just eaten like a Toblerone and a chocolate orange. Like I just don't want to like get into cold water now. I would say if it's a well thought through swim and there's a clear sense of like, my village are out and everyone is. Yes.

And then what? Like, and then do we go to the pub? I see. Like, and then what is it? I'm not just getting in that water with you. Like. And then if it's like, yeah. And then we go straight to this amazing party with a fire and we all warm up and then we're like, wow, how well done that we swam.

If it's just like, then we walk home. I sense that's what your dad was doing. Well, I think the issue is that I was five. Yes. So now I think I'd be very up for the big up the mountain. It doesn't, I'm describing as a mountain. So don't you live in Oxfordshire? This was in North Wales at Grandma's house.

Completely understand. And he, yeah, it was a small hillock up and down. We had Christmas Day at Grandmas. And on Boxing Day, he wanted to run up this hill. And no one ever wanted to go with him. And the other day he was like, why? And I was like, because we were children. Yes.

So you're like quick 45 minutes up a mountain. to 45 minutes is the longest time out of time we can imagine. Yeah. You're literally saying, don't I come and live on a mountain with me. We're like, no. Obviously, I want to stay here with all my toys and grandma. I don't want to do whatever you're doing.

Now I'd be more up for a more physical activity. If only to return home and feel alive and then have more Toblerone. This is the thing. You had to work up. A walk. A walk. A lovely walk. There's a lovely river near our house,

which when we were growing up, we never really went to because it's kind of, Couldn't find it, really. We kind of was like, the whole town is sort of built facing away from the river, which is an odd thing to do. Anyway, and my dad took us on our boxing no walk last year, which was really nice. And he showed us all the different generations of families of swans that he's got to know over the year. And it was very, like, very moving. How fantastic.

If you don't know swans, go get to know some. How lovely. And you've found out a new fun thing. And then when you came home, you were like, I can't wait for more of the home time. as opposed to being like, oh my God, more home time. I'm still in this, yeah, I'm like a big blob. Yeah, you're kind of becoming a soup. I'm a soup.

If you leave, then coming back in the soup. Delicious. Other suggestion, while dad was up the mountain, all the children were taken to and left their unsupervised, which was a big draw, the Colwyn Bay Panto. Okay, we're talking Panto. We're talking Panto. Big, big time, yeah. That was Grandma's, as the moment that the sales opened in September.

Grandma was first in line, buying tickets for all her grandchildren to go to the Colwyn Bay Panto. I, the eldest, the leader. We went there and we were alone. That felt very, very thrilling. That's very cool. So what's the tip, like, take some children to... There's no tip whatsoever just telling you about Panto. You once went to Panto.

I'm telling you that... I went recently to Panto and it's odd. You've got to bring a child. It's very odd if you are adult. And you know what I will say for Panto is that that is how a lot of the regional theaters and the big theatres survive is that they make enough money in the Christmas Panto. Can you take some children to Panto? The question is, are there any children nearby?

Are there yours? Well, also, I suppose this is the day, so it would be sold out, would it? I think chance your arm. All right, chance, chance your arm. Call the box office. Call the box office. Worth a shot. Yes.

Can't get in. We're going to the football. Can't get in, we're going up that mountain. Can't get up there, we're going in the sea. Yes. Or to look at the swans. By the river they didn't know existed. Yeah.

Oh, you haven't got a sea near you. Oh, I bet you can walk. Make you walk somewhere. You can walk. Yeah, yeah. Off we go. Big time. A number of Christmas traditions have obviously, with simply the passing of age,

lost their shine because you've done them. You've done them. We talked about this. They talked about making new ones. But a lot of the new ones, because we are adults, has involved drinking with your parents. You know, that's what most of the new traditions involve. Or getting in the sea. Yes.

Or up the mountain. Physical labour and drinking with your parents. Yes. That's elder Christmas. And I am excited to have small children in my life that I can do some shy activities with. Right. This is lovely. So if you have got activities or any children, could you go and do something very magical for them now? If you're like, I haven't got any children.

Do something magical for yourself? Do something magical for yourself? Yeah. Please. Romanticize your life. I've got a magical suggestion. Okay, go on. Sandwich.

So I was thinking, have that day that you always think of when you think of like, oh, it'll be cozy and lovely. Do that. Herger. Hergo. Yeah. Maybe try that. And then if that doesn't work,

sandwich. Sandwich. If I think the only thing is the only thing between you and Huger is too many people in your house going like, what, Stevie, what are you doing? Yeah. Stevie, get out of that.

That's my decorative shawl. That's the decorative shawl. Your mother was going to wear it to pantow. Yeah. Your Auntie Carol's here. Get off the sofa. Yeah. What's you doing?

Reading again. Go into your room if you have your bedroom. No, I think you just have to embrace Box today for what it is and know that Huger is coming. Or Huggers within you. Put some big headphones on. be like, I'm just going to read for a bit. No.

No. Absolutely not. Get off the sofa and help with the dishes. Oh, God. Yeah. You've got to know that hookah is coming. Another day. But today, if you hugger, everyone's going to shout at you.

I don't know if that's the case for everybody. In the very specific environment, in which you grew up. In which I grew up. Yeah. And you were never allowed to huger. Right. Learning a lot. Yeah.

And so you'd never be allowed to relax. Basically, yeah. Okay. Fine. I'm good to have some. advice for those people, but also I'm giving some advice of people that are allowed to read a book on boxing. Okay. Okay. Okay. You know? Yeah. Do I have to, also you can opt out of things you don't really like need to do. Not me. It's sick. I think. Okay. Opting out. Okay. Well, like, obviously not

like, no, I don't want to see that family member or whatever is kind of difficult. But if everyone's going for a walk and you're like, I think I'm going to do this. Like you can, you can say that. Unless it's been very made clear on your family that is not okay, in which case you're the first category. You've got to have the day that someone else wants. And you're going to make the best of it. Yeah. If you're in my category, if you said, I'm not coming on the walk. Everyone will say, why? And you'd be like, I'm going to make some sandwiches for you all when you get in. And they'd be like, they better be fucking good. And then the pressure on me to make the big sandwich. So either I make up a reason that I'm doing something else for other people. That's why I'm allowed to be absent.

Yeah. But if I said, I'm just going to stay. Don't read a book. Everyone be like, get, get, put your shoes on. It's like that. Right. Oh, God. Okay. Yeah. So if you're in my category, you've got to just know that Herger is coming.

When's Herger coming? Whenever you can be alone. Okay. It feels like you can't. But okay. Yeah, yeah. When you're finally old enough to leave home, you're allowed. Okay.

As in at some point, you'll be able to be on your own and return to your own space or whatever that means to you and you will, that moment that you... January 2nd. January 2nd. Finally, you'll be able to be alone in the decorative shore with the book. But I'm just saying for anybody for who, whom that day is not this day. Understood.

Just know it is coming. You are safe. I'm saying, Huger is coming. Huger is coming. My entire childhood was basically mis-moving me. I didn't know what Huger was, but whispering to myself that Hulg was coming as people were constantly shouting at me to do things.

So you've organised or you've kind of compartmentalised what the day is going to be. Yeah. And now I think you're going to make yourself, I think, to just to round off the experience because you know what's happening now. Yeah. You're going to make yourself. like the coffee or the breakfast or the thing that you would always want to, but you don't have time or you, you know, and you're going to do that.

And you also make it for others as well. I'll ask if anyone else wants one if you're in Tesla's household because you can't just make something for yourself. Never. No. So, yeah. Poach that egg. Poach that egg, baby. Have some hollandaes.

And if you have it. But I've got to get in the car. Poach the egg. Put it in a little lunchbox having the car. Yeah, why not? It's boxing day. Ameasily. Famously goes well.

If it's not a Ronnie Oka, it's well done. You're laughing. Yeah. With egg in your mouth. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Lovely. Make sure that whatever you're doing, you go that little extra mile to be like, oh, no, I'm not going to.

No, I will, actually. Extra mile day. It's extra mile day. What's in the box? Extra miles. That's what's in the box. And I hope that before, if you've already left the bedroom, because we were going on for ages and why haven't you left.

But if you're still in the bedroom, be like, you're right, I'm going to decide what this day is before I leave. Before I fully embrace the day, I'm like, so I'm not going downstairs being like, oh, now what are we doing? Yes. You're like, it is what it is, and you're going to go along with it. Into that kitchen, making the fancy coffee, making the fancy egg. Oh, look at you go.

Also, I just like to clarify vis-a-vis the sandwich. Yeah. It was a sandwich made from yesterday's Christmas meal. Crucial. Crucial. Absolutely crucial. So it's, we're talking turkey. We're talking red cabbage.

Stuffing. Stuffing. We're talking apple. I love how the traditional Christmas, of all of the traditional elements of a Christmas roast, you went for turkey, red cabbage and apple. I couldn't immediately bring the meal to mind. I understand that. I think I was thinking of apple sauce.

That is one. I love that sauce. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay, I'm thinking. You're going to get stuffing on there.

You're sure, by thinking, could have a soft condiment? Oh, you could add as many as you like. Could I, to quote friends, add in a moist maker and soak a piece of bread and gravy and then get that in there? That's what my sister does. She makes essentially French bread but with gravy. Holy shit. Yeah, it's insane.

Okay. Well, today, if we, hope we've inspired you enough to get to the kitchen and be like, I'm going to make the most elaborate thing I can think of. Huge Christmas sandwich. And maybe you've already got your big traditional thing that you like to make. Cheeseboard. Fantastic.

Boxing Day cheeseboard. I basically have a Boxing Day cheeseboard that lasts for the whole day. And I just sort of keep going back, keep going back, keep going. What are you putting it on? Crackers. Crackers. And what kind of, what side bit we've got talking? My parents often have quite good chutneys.

Fantastic. Sometimes I'm like, I'm going to reject a chutney and just go pure with some tomato. Like good tomato. A natural tomato. A little slice of tomato. Gorgeous. Wow. And that's a day.

That's a full day for me. Genuinely, fuck me, the day's flying by. It's better already. Back into bed. Femes only have eight hour days. Of course. I've just got one more thing for the big day. It's to, and perhaps you could say this for later in the Christmas perinium.

But I think it's something nice about doing it post-Christmas is to do an end of year round up. I understand. And to do a little, especially if you are with family, there's an element with family of being like, and now what shall we do? Again, a little suggestion that came in was your little line-up of things you've seen, films you've seen, shows you've enjoyed, books you've read, and write and be like, oh my God, I've actually done so much this year,

places you've seen, trips you've been on, maybe even like work you were proud of, things you've completed. And then you could present it to other people. And especially if you've all done things together, be like, oh, my favourite meal was that sandwich we just had. Correct answer. And someone else was like, mine was that time that we stopped on the side of the road after we got stuck in that traffic in Stonehenge.

We did. And we met that man who sold strawberries. And on the side of the road and he made us that juice. And then we woke up in his back. And he kidnapped us. Sorry, jam would be way better thing for him to be making. Strawberry juice. Strawberry juice.

Yeah, it was. You had it, you thought he had it. He thought yes. That's lovely. Then you woke up in his van. He was the end. Yeah. And then people like, oh my God, I remember that. I'd want to have picked considering there was crime involved.

The crime and the ensuing court case. About a sandwich that they just made. Yeah. For example. I think that's that's good. We do, me and my partner do every year like a quiz with each other. Oh, lovely. And it can be, the categories of questions can be kind of anything.

We kind of extrapolated out to the whole. whole family last year. You've got questions like, how many windows is in the house? Don't look! There's a lot of that. Oh. Um, we've got like, uh, can I offer you a pivot there? Close your eyes. How many windows are in the house? I mean, yeah, of course, of course. Feedback coming back in real time. Great feedback. Um, but like, like impressions, you have to tell a story in the style of one of the family members. Great. That was very easy to pick up on, uh, because, yeah, kept going, I'm dad. This is helpful. Uh, quite drunk. Um, so you could, you could, you could, you. kind of extend that kind of thing into like a quiz or something that is for everybody.

I once attempted mastermind. Oh God, I guess I remember this. Yeah, people didn't enjoy it. But it's a lot of fun. Yeah, so we did just general knowledge. And then you've got your, everyone chose their specialist subject. And you researched and wrote questions. Oh, my God.

The crucial thing about mastermind is they make those questions, you know, when someone, sometimes the questions are incredibly long for no real reason. It's because they want all the people to have the same amount of time. Even if it's a quick question, they like phrasing. it in such a way that you can't answer until he stopped speaking. Ah, right, okay. Attempting that was a bit of a downfall. Right.

Okay, yeah. Wouldn't have focused on that element. I did too hard. I did. I focused on the wrong spots. Yes, yes. And people got more competitive and more tense than I imagine because I kept playing the music and making them sit on a chair.

Oh, yes. It wasn't as fun as it could have been. Yeah. That's hard when a quiz gets tense. Yeah. We had that on New Year's one year and it just got too much. What was the game that it got? It's quite a fun game.

It's basically like all different. So like task, it's like Taskmaster, really, but in like a board game, but it's not anything to do with Taskmaster. But like, and you have one person who judges who does it well, but each team could be asked to do anything. So at one point it was like, go and find as many yellow things in the room as possible. Oh, yeah. All that sort of stuff.

And we won. So, like, at one point, like, I think I nearly knocked my sister out because we were getting to the fridge for something. But then, yeah, we won. And I just remember it felt like a hollow victory because actually no one had won because we were all just quite angry at each other. And we decided that we wouldn't do that one again. That's good to know.

Yeah. You know, so that's maybe a great place for us to end this guided day. Yes. It's to say, you know, like, let's keep the positives on the fun. Let's keep thinking about, let's take away that competition. The game is for the game's sake. Oh, we don't want to be seeing family. Oh, you're feeling competitive with your cousin who you hate.

Be peaceful. Be peaceful. You know, like. Go and find out something about them. Go and like learn. something so that when you leave you feel like you've got a little step closer to understanding them as a person. That's a good, go in with an aim, make it a game. Make it a game.

Yeah. And just be like, oh, how nice. All these things that I don't want to do today, there would be some people who would be so grateful to get to do them. 100%. Yeah, all right. And also, not that many years ago, I probably worked in some rich person's basement and was absolutely fucking thrilled to go home with half a cheese that they ate yesterday. The Christmas box.

And I would have been genuinely delighted. You are referring to the Christmas box rather than your old job that you used to have. But truly, not far off. Not long ago, I would have genuinely... And I have also been sent home from various internships with like half my box of cheese. And I have been thrilled.

Yeah, that's true, actually. Good cheese. One time they all got a Fortimer Mason hamper and they asked me if I wanted to take the ribbons home. And I did. Oh, God. What am I talking about being like, a hundred years ago?

You'd have been a servant. Six years ago. Six years ago. I remember going home to my fan I was like, these ribbons. Oh my God. And they're four of amazing reasons and everyone could tell

that they had it. Yeah, my parents were like, okay, what is this job you're doing? Have a great day, guys. A bleak place to end. But are positive. Positive. Boxing day.

Got some ribbons. Oh. Let's get out there. Embrace the day. Let's boxing day, y'all.