Nobody Panic - How to Be a Good Housemate (Live at Bristol Improv Theatre - Book Tour)

Episode Date: February 22, 2022

Absolutely terrible flatmates Stevie and Tessa discuss their mistakes, learn from them and explain to an audience in Bristol how best to live and let live. Or rather, live let live and don’t write anything on a post-it note. Nothing good has ever come from a post-it note. Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded live at Bristol Improv Theatre and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Follow Nobody Panic on Twitter @NobodyPanicPodSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true, Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. And welcome to Nobody Panic. Thank you so much for listening. And also we are here live from Bristol Improv Theatre in Bristol, obviously.

What an absolutely wild crowd. There's about 50,000 of them in. It's absolutely crazy. And we're sort of sitting on the back of some armchairs, just to set the scene for anyone listening. And also we've written a book. This is the final show of our book tour. And today we're doing the episode.

Would you like to introduce it to the people? Yes. Sexing with grandma. No. Specifically with grandma. It is how to be a good housemate. An absolutely wild response

from the room. A woman just died. Guys, we're going to have to unpack what's just happened there. What's happened? Housemates in? Yeah, one. One house. And someone just pulled a hand down really quickly. So I presume everyone else doesn't live

with anyone else. So absolutely, yeah, very solitary city. I love that. Are you just some housemates that have all come together and you... Have it a nice time. Look, let's not put any pressure on them. No pressure, no pressure. They're already...

I don't need any pressure. No pressure, no pressure. About to take off. So, yeah, it's about being a good housemate because either you're living with people or maybe you're living with a partner and this is still, that's still house mating. Family, that's still house mating. Very much. On your own, in a way.

Still house mating. In a way. In a way. And so everybody's been through a phase of, you know, living with people sometimes thinking, oh my God, I hate you. But often you don't think what you're doing wrong, you know? Oh, wow. See, a lot of people. No whoops for that.

No whoops for that. No, yes. I like to bring some downbeat introspection to the podcast. So that's what we'll be doing. But before we do, we like to do the most adult thing we've done this week. And what we're going to do is we're going to sort of quick fire out. I think my bra's just broken. That's fine.

If the tips come out, that's happening. How would they come out? Listen. Oh no. Maybe. Doing a lot of visual work. Yeah. This was at home.

Start us off. No, I was just laughing about my teenage cousin. Who came last night and he wrote on his one, got things back on track with a bird. It was so clear who it was as well. I was like one teenage boy in the room was like him probably. And my auntie and my grandma said that all the way home

he kept going, how did she know? Get things back on track with a bird. Oh, a dream. He's 17 and God bless him. Okay, here we go. Got a new boiler installed this week. Goodbye money! Successfully said no to a meal out last night

because was tired from work and needed to be hyped for tonight. Man, it's wild, got the promotion and pay rise I asked for and came here alone, smiley face. That is grown up. That's hard to do. I couldn't do it.

Prep my friend for a first date using your How to Be Incredible at Dating Chapter from the book. By the book. Oh my God. I called my car insurance, oh, just throwing in, you've got a car. I caused my car insurance company

to update my home address. It's valid. You've got a home as well, have you? Okay. Got cross at someone for parking in front of my drive. So many of these are car and transport based. The gentlemen are in. That's what we know.

I had my bike serviced. Why am I reading it like that? I had my bike serviced. And realized why I can only cycle downhill. Turns out I'm not useless. It's just fucked. Yay. That's lovely.

Adorable. What's going on here? Lots of questions. I went to a crumble evening. I ate an awful lot of crumble Are you an adorable bear in a fairy tale I ate too much crumble Oh I love it

In comparison to that Just in massive letters Cut some curtains down I painted the gateposts We have no gate Oh booked an eye test because I can't read the TV guide anymore It's hard But also good one you get some trendy specs

I used a huge power drill to attach something to a stone. Oh, fuck, that really, you did need the power drill. Like it when we read it when we haven't read it before. Your experiencing it is we are stone. It's really happening in real time. Stone garden wall and I didn't even ask the man I borrowed it from to help.

Yes. She didn't say if it worked or not. Irrelevant. You drilled in. Started an apprenticeship at the, and she's put in brackets, ripe old age. No, she hasn't put old, that's me. The ripe age, no, but that's what she was implying her. Or he, all they, started an apprenticeship at the ripe age of 26 to be an accountant.

Fun? 26 is younger. Repeat after me. Don't do it. I used up my reduced food before it went out of date. Yes. I didn't send a passive aggressive text to my housemate about cleaning. I brought it up in person in.

dead. This is very relevant. Very relevant. I'm going to put that in my shoe. What does that mean? Nothing. Started first full-time job at a university, framed and hung some art at home. I'm actually having a stroke.

There's too many. I got out of a toxic relationship. Yes. Put together my new sofa. Okay, not the wildest reaction, but it's still good. You know, it's two more, and then we've got to record the podcast. It's too fun, isn't it? fix the toilet seat, which I broke in the first place.

Got new internet put in. So far, I only tried to call my mum. She didn't answer. That's good. Got a plumber. I got accepted onto a PGCE course. Primary teacher, here I come. Yay!

That's so good. Coming in in a penultimate place, we decided to start trying for a baby. This is the final ones. Okay, go crazy for it. Came here alone and already made. That's so nice, isn't it? That is gorgeous.

You really gave your energy to that. Thank you so much. You've very much put us to shame the amount of gate posts and drills. Gate posts and drills. Babies, friends. I don't ever seen a gate. Let's hear that from your shoe again, please. Hear that from a shoe.

Oh yeah, it was the housema. I didn't send a passive aggressive text to my housemate about cleaning. I brought it up in person instead. What a great starting point, if I may. If you may. But actually, before we do the starting point, the pre-starting point, if I may. Tessa, would you say that you are a good house I obviously would count myself as an exceptional housemate.

Okay. Okay. I think what I bring to the table is a lot of fun. That's true. That's true. But on reflection, and many years of people telling me so, I'm open to the idea that I am quite chaotic and messy and I'm not good at the dishes. By not good at them, what do you mean? I do not do the dishes. You're just like, what am I doing? But you actually don't do them. Yeah, I do a lot of arts and crafts. crafts in the communal space. With the dishes.

Yeah, once I don't think through things very well. And so I sort of think like, I leave the house and I sort of forget that other people live there. And once I had a party and then like two days ago I had a sort of the housemate sat me down for a chat to be like, what the fuck is this? And I honestly was like, I thought I did a really good job of tidying up. I really thought I smashed it. And then they took me on like a guided tour of the house. Just like pointing out things. And they were like, and some of them were like,

what's all this cheese? Like it was like, it was like that. And there was ash everywhere. Like that's from the, bombfire you'd like. Yeah, genuinely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had a fireplace.

Okay. Illegal to use it. But I did. So there's a lot. So it's like, yeah. So I know I'm not, I'm not the best. And then once I tried to make some cookies and I burnt everything. I burnt it to the pan.

And I set the fire alarm off everything. It was just like, it was scolded. I forgot about them. And I was like, oh, fuck, those are really burnt onto the pan. And I was like, I'll definitely tidy that up, but I need to hide it. So I hid it outside under a shrubbery bush. And then my housemaid didn't find it for weeks later, but then was like, what the fuck is my pan under this bush?

And he thought I'd like done it on purpose. And I was like, no, no, no, I'm sorry. That's totally on me. I just forgot. I, and I, but I did fuck up there. No, I'm, I'm, no, no, you did, but also that, I did, I did a very similar thing. I, um, was, there was a friend of mine, had bought a house, oh, well done. I'm obviously not bitter about it.

And I was like the, uh, tenant who would like pay their mortgage, basically. So like, I would pay rent to her and then she would like, you know, fine. Capitalism. Capitalism. And I'm feeding it. A couple of woo's for capitalism. Booze for capitalism. Bristol, not the crowd.

Okay. Um, but I did the same thing. although I didn't fuse cookies I set off indoor fireworks off her baking tray now indoor fireworks are literally to my defence

to my defence this is not the phrase basically you get these little pellets if I don't know if anyone else done them and then you light it for ages and then what happens is like a little slug just kind of comes out and it goes and then you sit and you go

magic or you go and it looks like you're doing it and you're a wizard yes and then occasionally there'll be like a sparky one and the sparky one does burn like it burns so basically i burnt her yeah i mean i did burn her entire i can understand where this came from and i hit it in the shoe cupboard um which she had she was so fancy she had a shoe cupboard i was like no one actually uses it but obviously she uses it for her shoes and the whole time she was like i i've seen i've been i know that bake i've seen that baking i've seen that baking tray in the shoe cupboard for months and i've been waiting for you to do something about it yeah i was like well i would forgot about it that's the thing we have if you're a sort of out of

sight out of mine's soul. Listen, we're nice. But we're hard work. Hard work. Hard work. I blew the back door off a flat. In a storm. Please tell the people. It wasn't my fault.

No, it was. Stop it. Already. It wasn't me. It was. I left the door sort of maybe a jar by accident when I left for work. And there was a huge storm. And when my housemate came back, the entire back door had flown off

the flat, top floor. And gone somewhere we don't know. You still... No. I. Someone has now got like an extra door. So in a way I was doing them a favour. And then we obviously lost our deposit because of that. Obviously.

I'll do it. Terrible. And I just yeah, I'm sorry, I'm thinking about your indoor fireworks again. I think we should come back to it. If I just had you being like you do them, I've never heard of indoor fires before. They sound very exciting. And then I like the idea that you're like, you're supposed to pretend that

you're... You're not supposed to pretend that you're a wizard. It's just, it makes it more. I only bring this up because on the train Stevie was quiet for a bit and then she stared out the window like this and she went just want to be a wizard I was shunning one of those moments where like the childhood magic of my life is gone

and I do want to be a wizard listen we all want to be a wizard I do a lot so I don't know how that sounds as whether I'm a good housemate so if you like people that want to be wizards then you'd love me but also what I think is interesting is what when you try to think like what is a perfect housemaid and you go like oh someone who always cleans

always tidies like it's I don't know sometimes like it's sort of there but sometimes not so you can like hang out you know sometimes cooks but not always you know basically you're thinking of somebody that doesn't really exist and everyone and the idea of you've got to it's all different for different people

isn't it and so there isn't really a perfect housemate but there is definitely bad housemate and red flags and I think there's two red flags hosting this podcast for you today. One of them with a wizard hat on. I think one of the most important discoveries

of your grown-up life. Well, no, there are loads. Yeah, this is not one of the most important discoveries. This isn't even the top 20. But the other one is, yeah. Oh my God. Bristol! Sorry, sorry.

Sorry, sorry. One of the big discoveries is that there are people that you love and are best friends with and you think are amazing and you love to hang out with. And there are people that you can live with and those two people are not always the same person. Yes. And also, even if you did have a lot of,

the perfect housemate, like in all of those ways, I think I would actually feel quite bad in comparison, so that wouldn't be the perfect housemate. I think I need someone to be, for example, not very messy, but like a little bit messy. You know when someone is absolutely, say you're like your partner, I don't know, off the top of my head, it's really tidy and you're not. And all of the conversations are like, what is wrong with me? You're like, I'm sorry. You found like a yoghurt in the bathroom cupboard. There's a lot going on that day. I put a yogurt in the cupboard. That's what's happened there. It wasn't a lot going on. I just put a yogh in the cupboard. Don't put a yogurt in the cupboard. Don't put the cookie tray in the shoe rack. Don't put the baking tray under the shrubbery.

Don't let off indoor fireworks without asking. Just don't. Don't. Need it. If you've done the crime, well, if you need to hide it, I know where you need to hide it in your own bed under the under the do-mate. Don't hide things. Yes. Yes. Okay. So say you've made a mess. You've fucked up. something's broken or gone awry or whatever and you're like oh my god I've got to go to work they're coming back I gotta hide this you need to put it in your own bed under the duvet cover

so you won't forget you'll forget jump in your bed and you'll just be covered in glass or like yeah but at least you'll be like oh fuck there it is you know I'm not no I'm not no you've got to you've got to own that's the thing

yeah but maybe you haven't got time right now so you're going to own up later as long as you own up later You know, just keep the baking tray on your bed for like a month. Only own up if you've had a really good go are completely hiding the crime. You can take that tip or you can take mine, which I've found very, to be very helpful.

People are so much more, what's the word? Tolerant and okay. Like if I had just said to my friend Libby, I won that off an indoor work, I was trying to be a wizard. And she would have laughed, you know, have a nice time. I'll buy you in your baking tray. It costs like, I don't know, a pound, like fine.

Whereas it was weirder to put it in a shoe rack for six months And then just every time she got shoes, she just saw a baking tray. It was weirder to be found under the shrubbery bush months late. It's weird. It's also very weird to go get home from work and be like, what a hard day. Oh, yes, this baking tray in my bed.

So I think it's weird for you as well. It's the wrong headspace. All right. Own up to the crimes off the bat. To my shoe. Please. Which is about the passive aggressive notes and how important it is to avoid those at literally all costs,

including WhatsApp groups. Obviously, you know, you need a WhatsApp group. If you're living together, that's absolutely fine. But using it to be like, now, can you, I'm not very good of doing examples of improv. Can you give me an example of, like, a passive-aggressive WhatsApp that you might get?

Oh, and here we are in the improv theatre. Yes, and I can't do it. Can you do it? Yes, and I won't. Oh, yes, and shit. Hi, Stevie, smiley face. Oh, I don't like me. Just be noticing there's a lot of food left out on the counter.

Just we have had problems with ants in the past. and they do lead to mice. Mouse emoji, cheese emoji, anthonymy, mouse emoji. Would be amazing if you could tidy those up. Let me know if you need any help. Oh yeah, that's so honest me. I'm riffing this, but I hate the character. Yeah, no, it's great.

XO, XO, XO, Gossip Girl. XOXO Gossip Girl. Yeah, it's very classic houseway behavior. Okay, yes, that sort of stuff. So now, a direct, a direct, but kind WhatsApp. Steve, you've left your fucking food on the counter again.

She's sent a voice note, by the way, so I can hear the toe with her voice. Very important. Hello, friend, I love you. You've left your food on the counter again. Don't do it. That's great. Mouse emoji, cheese emoji. Mouse emoji, cheese emoji. Counter emoji. Okay, yes. See, that immediately, I don't hate you

and it's a normal conversation. And then you'll reply and be like, I did do that. I did. Whereas if you get the passive aggressive one when you're at work, you're like, fuck. you and then you give it to all your colleagues and you're like, what do you think the tone is of this? And then acting it out for ages.

And then some of them are much like kindlier souls and they're like, I think it's like, don't leave the food on the counter. And they're like, I think it's just nice and they put a mouse emoji in. And then some people are like, fuck that bitch. And then the next time it comes to leaving food, you're like, I'm going to leave a bit of food.

I'm going to start doing it on purpose. Because you're a psychopath. Because you're a psychopaths. It's a recipe for disaster. Yes. And to my honest, pretty much every single, like, any relationship that we talk about, it's always about communication and clear communication.

And in the time, you're like, I can't do it. But actually, it's so simple. Oh, God, she's thought of an anecdote. And that's a thought of an anecdote. Will it be relevant? We don't know. Come on. A memory was surfacing.

Somebody at the university in the university fridge on the corridor. So loads of people. Sorry. It's not really a sentence, but we're with you. It just, like, it wasn't in a house share. Was it like, halls? Holes. Thank you.

halls. We went to university a thousand years ago. It feels like you never went to university and you've just like an alien has told you about it. Real Mark Zuckerberg vibe. Just being like...

I am normal. Yeah, I have normal. In this, there's the communal corridor, communal kitchen, Jesus Christ. A girl had a big milk. I'm sorry.

No, you're gonna have to explain what a big milk is. Big milk. She milked something. No, she had a big milk. Like a huge thing, a vat of milk. No, just like not the little milk, big milk. The big milk.

Two litres of milk. Two litres of milk. So she's got a big milk and she's written on it with a little, she's got a post-it note on it. Or she, backtrack, she's written on Sharpie. This is Laura's milk. Laura's big milk. Someone keeps drinking this.

Do not. And then. I don't mind that. Then she'd marked the line on the milk. I mind that. Yeah. I don't mind at all being like, don't eat my fucking food.

But this, the marking of the line. So obviously, change the line. People got their own marker pen. Always, yes. And they drank the milk and they just moved the little line. And it was like a war, you know? And if, but like,

and that's what happens with passive aggressive notes. People that go to all out immediately. Yes. That is escalated immediately to Napoleonic war. You know? So you've got to, you've got, the more that you can be just like face to face chatting it out, voice notes if you need, anything, the more that you can, you know, get the tone out as best as possible.

I once lived with someone who was like, I'm quite, and I was like, can you stop leaving your sort of bits of rice in the plug hole? It was fair, I was. What were they doing in there? The shower plug hole? Yeah. No. Um, no, it was just like, you know, you're making your rice. I said, it's weird because I don't think I ever made, I did make rice, what I'm talking about. Making some rice and you clean it up and then, I don't know, there may be like some, some grape. We're talking like three or four grains. It was a bit. It was a bit. I think a bit over the top because sometimes it was like I was like eating and she'd be like there's

there's rice and I'm like yes okay I've not I've not finished with the right I might actually want to eat that yeah you don't know me but in her but for her she's like I love my kitchen to be clean I love to come home I hate rice I just want a calm space I fucking hate rice and every time I come home there's fucking good so stupid so I completely understand but what the fun thing that she would do the way that she

we sort of did it was she like said like a fun she'd like a fun gif involving rice which is actually like four. But it's like it was a lot of fun. Or a dog being like, please, please. You're right. So, blow, the classic memes, we all know them.

And it just sort of like added a bit of levity. Because obviously whenever anyone tells you to do anything, especially when you've done it and you're in the wrong, you hate it. You don't want to hear about it. You're like, no, you're an idiot. That's your first response. It's called defensiveness.

And it's very strong. And then, but then if someone's like fun with it, that feeling of like, fuck you! And disappears and dissipates very quickly to like, She is correct. There was, you know, nay, but six grains in there. And that's, you know, that's half a dozen. And so you've got to be thinking, you've got to be thinking, that's half your eggs.

My, uh... Completely irrelevant addition there. I was going to say that my housemate used to sing my crimes at me. Oh, that's annoying. No, no, no, no. No, it's not. It was to keep it... Oh, my God, I liked the girl.

If I didn't like her and, oh, a girl I didn't like sang my crimes. No, no, no. So that's the thing, a lot of it is based on, like, you got to get a... at least some something, some personality. And you've got to like the person at least a bit to get through here. And then she was my good friend. And when I had done, you know, like, you know, I'd left all the cheese. It was like, hello, can we deal with the cheese?

You know, it was like. The guided tour as well. The levity. Keep it alive. If you truly dislike each other, then it is really, really tough. Well, that's, I was going to say, we've got like, I think, having to, being a good housemate to a housemate, you wish wasn't in your house

is very difficult to do. But one of the helpful things, it's not nice, but it's like if there are other housemates, it's sort of, you know, it's basically trying to be civil at all, you know, all costs. Always try and keep it civil and do whatever it takes to get that. So sometimes it is helpful to like,

if you've got another housemate, you're sort of scapegoating the shit housemate to bond with your other housemate. Great choice. You do need a teammate in this. I'm not saying gang up on the housemate. I'm just saying like just quietly, it's like, oh, did you see the rice that she's left?

fucking saying again. Yes, classic. And then, but then, so then you can be kind to, to the rice plug-hole woman, you know, for example. Hey there. We're here today, thanks to H.P. Spector X-360, who are working to uncover the creative process as some of the UK's favourite podcasters are like me. And you, Tessa? You're finding out what lessons there are to be learned from our process. Yes, that's right. And now we use just so many incredibly cerebral techniques to enable our creativity, but we're not here alone, are we, Tessa? We are not, and very excitingly for us, instead of us interviewing a guest, a guest is going to interview us.

Our host today is Grace Beverley, an entrepreneur, Sunday Times bestselling author, social media influencer, and host of the Working Hardly Working Podcast. She's an Oxford graduate who's successfully built two businesses. She's recognised as one of Forbes's 30 under 30 in 2020. at the age, the baby age of just 23, these two old ladies welcome you in, and we're thrilled that you're here. The maiden interviews, the Crohn's.

Let us touch your youthful, youthful face. She's the perfect person to lead our conversation about the creative process. So for the next few minutes, we're going to hand the hosting job over to you. Please take it off us. God, this feels like so much pressure. It is.

And there is a lot of it, and we will judge you. You're completely right, it is, yeah. No, thank you so much for having it. me, I'm very excited to learn about your creative processes. This is something that I'm quite passionate about. I'd love to know, first of all, whether you think you're creative people. Like, do you consider yourself a creative person? I do think I'm creative. Sometimes it dries up like an old well, but by and large, I feel I am creative. Bordering on too creative is things that people who've lived, who've lived with me have said. Please. Please stop that. I don't believe this is such a thing as

as someone who isn't creative, but I think there are people who are specifically drawn to being creative because I think every single job or thing you do is benefited by putting your stamp on it. I'd like to know when you need to get creative,

like when you need to think about something creative, you need to conceptualise, you need to get a brief done, whatever it might be. How do you get into that mindset? I really do love to walk a problem out and talk to myself. I've taken to wearing like big headphones

with the little thing. so that if I'm talking to myself, people think I'm on the phone. Or you're an air traffic controller. One of the two. And there aren't many planes to direct in my local park, but I hope that's what they think I'm up to. I think that's so interesting because different people obviously get creativity from being like around hustle and bustle

or from being in complete quiet. And that, a good segue here, but I really, really think I'm so passionate about the focus mode on this product. So on the X-360, it literally has a focus mode that you can put on and it dims the background of any other apps. Nothing pops up. You've got the full concentration on this thing. And I don't know about you, but I am a child.

And I need technology or someone to tell me that, literally mothering myself through tech. And just being like, no distraction is so important. Mothering yourself through tech. That's the future. Thanks, guys. So having something like that for me changes the game, because then I'm able to be like,

okay, you know what? For the next 45 minutes, absolutely no distractions at all. So that is one of my absolute favorite features and has very much helped me as someone who gets distracted every two seconds. Yes, I think that would help me a lot because I often have been known to, like, turn the Wi-Fi off in the house. So I can't look at everything. I'm reading about a woman in the first female crime syndicate in 1920s.

Is it helpful? No. Is it distracting me? Yes. I've got things to do because we haven't got focus mode. We haven't got focus mode. Stevie, what are your... kind of creative triggers, would you say? So there's things that just get you in the zone straight away. I've got to put a bra on. That's important.

Sometimes if I'm really stuck on a problem, I'll get a notebook out and go like old school, or I can go on phone notes, or I can do voice notes. Do you know, this? Yes. This is not a pen. This is the HP pen. This is exactly what you're talking about

and exactly what you need, because I do the same, and then I lose the notebooks. And I'm like, that was the most valuable mind map I've ever done. And with this, You can turn it into a tablet and you can use this nifty little pen and do exactly what you're saying. I mean, I think this is right on your street. So sold.

So that pen is a special screen pen. Are you on your, are you on the laptop now? I am. The quality of your camera is out of this world. You can't see us at home, but me and Stevie look like blurry old ladies. And then it looks like a model has joined us. It's, you know, it's exquisite. The clarity is unbelievable.

Well, lastly, I'd just like to know, for anyone who, struggling with their creativity, what's your one go-to tip to give them? So find whatever topic is that you're working on and you feel like you're struggling with. Find a podcast. There are lots of good podcasts just about creativity in general. And I'd say go sincere. Yeah, that's what I need. Oh, I love that. Mine is just telling anybody, a family member or a partner or your friends or anybody who will listen to you for five minutes, explaining it to another person often makes you hear it back in your mind and be like, ah, I see. I see where we've gone to write. Yeah. I really like that. And if in doubt, you can also talk to your air traffic control headphones if there's no one around.

Bring a plane in. Bring a plane. Oh, well, thank you so much, guys. You've helped me a lot, actually. I'm going to go land some planes and then get creative. You're so welcome. Thank you. I can't tell you how jealous we are of the HP Specter X-360.

We both really want one. That says manifesting it out into the universe. It flips over and it becomes a tent. It becomes a tablet. You can draw on it with your pen. Oh, my God. It's fantastic. It's the blue light blocking for me.

You know me in my obsession with blue light. Oh, you love that. Meant you can watch an episode before bed and you're not keeping yourself up all night, doesn't it? Well, look, well, thank you so much, Grace. And also thank you to HP for bringing us together to discuss our creative process. And Tessa, where can people find out more

about the features of the HP Specter that can help us think creatively? Thank you for asking me, Stevie. If you would like to find out any more about the features of the HP Specter X360, you can at www.h.w.h.hp.com forward slash thoughtful laptop. Isn't that nice? Because it is thoughtful. And they have thought of everything. They've thought of everything. I do think that often when we're, especially when you're younger and you live with somebody who's like, you know, a bad housemate. Sometimes it might be they're having a really bad time. And you're

seeing like a side of them that they, you know, their friends, when they go to work, they're kind of holding it together. And then when they, when they're, when they're they come home, maybe they're just not able to look after themselves or they're being really antisocial or they're getting into like problems and stuff. And I think there's a fine line between being like, ah, you're an idiot and being like, have I had a chat with them? And I think there is, yeah, if you are able to chat to the housemate in question, not in like a, so I see your shit housemate and maybe you're depressed. Like, not that, but like they're sort of using like those kind of I feel and like, so I feel like, you know, you're having a hard time or like,

I feel like, you know, you're eating all my food. Not somewhere. But like, you know, like, those sort of things like you kind of bring yourself into it a little bit to sort of, rather than you're saying like, you've done something wrong, you're saying, like, I've noticed that maybe things aren't right. And like, is there anything I can do to help? And like, is it, you know, what's going on, champ? Like, can we have a chat?

Because I remember there was one time, basically. Obviously, it always comes from something you've done yourself. When I moved to London and I was basically like, I was just fully unable to like, I was just so stressed. I had no money and it just didn't, it was like freaking out all the time. And I felt like I was such a bad housemaid because, because I was like, I don't know, I was like, I'm not going to go into details, but just wasn't, I wasn't good and I was kind of like really sad. And my flatmate, one flatmate was just like, you're a dick. And I was like, oh yes, I am. Oh, here I sink lower. And then the other flatmate just like came into my room once

and was like, are you okay? Like, you just doesn't feel like you're okay. And I was like, I'm sorry. And he's like, oh my God. And then without him having to like list all the things I was doing wrong because I knew what they were I just like couldn't do it you know it was like 20 and just like didn't know what was doing and so sometimes that's the way around the being a good housemate rather than like listing all the things because often the person will know that they're like really messy or you know really sometimes all this behavior comes from a really sad place or a really chaotic place or like everything's just too too much it's all very stressful and living is especially if you're like you know this is your first big you know

proper away from home or this is away from home you're dead but like if this is like you know proper, you know, you're making it out in the world and here you go. You know, it is, it can be really, really tough. I remember when I moved out of a house share where I had, I lived with like really, really good friends and then one by one, they all left me. And, um,

swapped an hour. It was like this sort of sugar babes of a flat. It was very stressful. I became the last of the original, you know, the original sugar babe. The mocha? No, did she stay? Keisha, did she stay? That's not. That's not. Not important. Continue.

Anyway. And they'd all left me. And then I was moving out. And so I didn't really know the people that I live with very much. And I was definitely, they got quite passive-aggressive. And also, sidebar. Now you're just going to bitch about them. Yes, I am.

They were two girls. There was five of us at one point. There were two girls. They started calling themselves the blonde twins. Oh. I was there. And we were all had... In what context?

We're like, oh, morning, blonde twin? Like, what would they... How would they do it? They like went out together a lot and I would see on their Instagram they'd call themselves like the blonde twins. And I'd be like, oh, okay. And then they had this board in the kitchen.

Wait, are they here? Fine. There was a board in the kitchen in which they were on a sort of single, they were dating. And then they were rating the gentleman out of avocados. Why?

What was like five out of five avocados? Five out of five avocados. Totally pointless. And so I was bringing that like, what the fuck is this? Obviously, they didn't invite me out on their blonde twin, you know, adventures. Anyway, I was leaving.

I was being very chaotic. It's just so stressful moving house and packing everything up and like everything was sort of everywhere and I was really stressed and tired and up against it. And then all the house was sort of ignoring me. And then one of them's friend came over

who I'd sort of seen a few times and knew. And then she came up the stairs to my bedroom and just was like, hey, what can I do to help? And I burst into tears. And I was like, Oh my God, thank you so much. Help me move. A small snack.

And then could you just help me, just tell me which place to put these clothes? And obviously, she'd come to see her friend. Her friend had been like, oh my God, fucking Tess is being a fucking nightmare. And then she'd been like, well, what's happening with her? And then she'd be like, well, she's moving house and she obviously very stressed and she's moving job

and like, so obviously got too much about her, fucking bitch. And then direct friend had obviously been like, okay, well, let's solve that. and then had just like so kindly walked upstairs to me and been like, what do you need? And I was so preferred, like so touched by it because, and that's so often like the big blowouts and the big thing, stem from this tiny thing

of just like someone being like, what do you need? Like, how can I help in this situation and like, what's going on? Also as well, it's like the simplest thing, do you want a cup of tea? Like something like that. Do you want a cup of tea? It's so nice.

And it's so weirdly toxic when you go or you live in a house, make a house share situation and no one makes you a tea. If you don't make someone tea, you're an idiot, but I just mean like those little, small details, sort of like in any relationship, again, it's the small details that go first. You just sort of start like taking advantage of each

or just sort of being like, well, you're there, but actually popping in and being like, do you want a cup of tea? So it's such a lovely gesture that even if they, you know, they don't like, for example, they like you, like a hot cup of lemon water, you know, or a bit of, or just some hot water. Just anything, some ribina. It's just like a nice thing to do and it shows,

it's not the actual gesture, it's just what you're saying with that gesture. Yeah. Also, if you, you know, there's something about like if you, and again, some of these housemates got very into cooking. Which is fine. Delicious. But they would make these very, very elaborate meals all over the kitchen. And then eat, and then just make enough for one.

Which I was always like, oh, and every time I could, I would be like, I'm making this if anybody wants any. And they'd all be like, no, we don't. It doesn't look. It doesn't look. It doesn't look. Nice. You know. So, you know, I think it's about that of just being like, and obviously like money is.

really tough and it's time you know you don't want to be like i'm costly giving her pastor whatever and like but you just just the more that you can try and be generous of spirit then that generosity will like will come back to you and it will all be a slightly more harmonious home yes but it's all right I feel like there I feel like some red flags worth of chat get them out there I i just popped in my mice but please add your own um OTT labelling so i just don't like you know and it's like this is my olive oil and this is their olive oil this is their olive oil it's like you've got seven olive oils in the house. Do you know what I mean? It feels a little bit like let's just get a grip.

If you disagree. No, no, I don't disagree. I was going to say, I was going to actively name my relatives and then I was going to try and keep it more opaque so they didn't know. But they are my relatives. They're married. Right before they got married, I went to their house and a couple

who were getting married had labelled in the fridge my figure. Look, it works for some. No. It works for some. Divorced. Divorced. Two months later. Well, they actually? Yeah. God, okay, right. And it's like, the seeds were there if you're not like sharing, you know,

if it's like, this is my or this is your oil. Everyone's going. And obviously like, shit. Yeah, if there's muttering now in the group. It's fine if you do. The couple that were trying for a baby, like, oh, fuck. My olive oil, your olive oil. I'll share milk now.

Whatever works for people, works for people. But if it is this constant, like, I don't buy, I think just in a, you know, it needs to be a little bit more like. Well, there's always someone who doesn't, but there's always somebody who doesn't ever buy the Lou roll, you know? Yeah. And it's like, you've got, you've got. got to have, and this is one of the other things I was going to say which is like, you've got to split

the bills, you've got to split the chores, you've got to have, if someone's in charge of clearing the bathroom, someone's just like, you've got to know what you're doing rather than just like, we all just sort of pitch in because there's always going to be someone who's like, oh I haven't and I forgot. It's like, oh God, you know, it's me, it's me, I'm always that one person.

Right at the end of third year, a girl that lived in a house with, there was eight of them. Imagine. It was a hormonal hellhole. Honestly, the final week, that they lived there when they were like clearing the house. She said, um, where's the hoover? And they all like said at her and she was like,

how crazy that we've never hoovered? And they were like, are you fucking kidding me? You think we don't, you think no. And it's just like, don't show your ass like quite so openly, you know? We did an episode called a really high octane episode called How to Load the dishwasher. Anyone's mind was blown by that. But I was, we're like, oh God, I should research it.

And then I was looking at it. And I was like, we supposed to clean. the dishwasher. My partner was like yes. I really again just got my ass out. It's very hard to not get your ass out when you're asking for things that you don't know. Just be like you don't make a rota because that is

the end of time. That is like... I think sometimes you can make a rotor. Do you think? I think sometimes it can be helpful because then no one can be like, well I did it and they happen and it stops quarrels sometimes. Well listen. Like a gentle rotor. A gentle one. Not like at 5.30 you will scrub the toilet.

Like gentle rotor. maybe the bathroom like that. Whose job is, your job, whose job is, you know, even on this tour, it's been very like, I need to carry the stamp and you need to carry the pens. I do the adult thing paper. Jessica does the other stuff. And but it has been like, we've got, you know,

it's not so much. A rotor is like a clearly communicated sense of what everybody is doing and what everyone's job is and who cleans the bathroom and is it, we're going to take turns. We're both going to clean the bathroom after this. Sorry, and we need to wrap things. because we need to clean the bathroom.

We've got to get in there. I'll do one more red flag. It is, if you're living in a group and then somebody's partner comes to stay, if they come to their occasionally, of course, delicious love.

But if they then live there, don't appear to be leaving. And it's like, and we are paying their water bill. And, you know, like, things get really tough. Again, communication.

Yeah. So it's like, how long is this person going to be here? Like, what is the, situation could they perhaps contribute and then we'll all feel a bit better if the rent went down gorgeous as long as you like but if it's like they just live here rent-free and because that's the thing you think like well it doesn't matter to you they're living in their bed in their bedroom you shouldn't

really see them it's like well I pay for that water and they that toilet roll and that olive oil and like you know and they're in the living room all the time and they're also very easily blamed as well but i used live in a flat where everyone was always like the partner who would like the boyfriend or the I think it was a boyfriend who would like come in and we always would be like oh he's eating the cheese and he probably hadn't again it was probably me

but there's a lot of that going on also I'll just go through it and then we'll just say incredibly loud bonking that is a red flag we're going to go straight through there I lived underneath the girl we're stopping we're stopping and we are looking at it I lived underneath the girl once I thought an animal was dying up there

and I just moved in and it was incredibly be cold and I was wearing a fur coat and I was in bed in a fur coat thinking this is absolutely horrendous actually and it was so cold in there that it wasn't really a bedroom it was a porch and once in the morning

there was a tiny layer of ice on my glass of water I was right underneath this girl and there was a sort of chandelier like you know those like fancy we all know what I'm saying and yet what is that it's circular it's got a sort of stuck it's got a sort of decorative flower pattern

in plastic. It's stuck to the ceiling. Is it called stucco? That I think is when you throw bits of gravel at a house. I think. So anyway, it was like... Ceiling decoration looks like a bit like a chandelier but isn't. A bit like a chandelier bit isn't. Oh, somebody...

Sealing rose. Ceiling rose. That's much better. So nothing fancy, but it was nonetheless had like bits on it. And that thing was fucking shaking like we were in Jurassic Park. You know? That famous. scene.

Well, you know. I know, I know, I know. I know it's the glass of water in our ceiling road. The water's going. The bits are going. Someone's bonking up there. Oh my God. And so it's, again, that's ever so hard to get right in the

addressment of like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Can you not? Can you? You can maybe sing that one. And maybe we stop the loud bonging. And you can do a bit of that. Maybe it's just like, that's a fun sick. That's so awkward.

You've got to sing it. And not make eye contact. And that's okay. Because everyone. Can be quiet. Right. Do you think about it? You can, can't you?

Sounds like someone's like, some of us take it as a matter of courtesy that were absolutely silent. Thank you, it can be done. Clothes on, absolutely silent. I have a wild time. Three minutes, start the clock, that's enough, thank you. Just a very vague one.

I think it's a red flag that must be addressed if someone, and there's always one that has a completely different idea of what money is to anyone else. It was like, sort of a bill, is it? And then just doesn't do it, and it just doesn't, or it's like, you know, and it's always, when I, it depends on what stage you're at,

but when we were a student, it was always like, they shopped at waitrose. And it was like, as a student, only because of what I was doing, which was like, you know, I'd have one bit of rice. I was just constantly, very rice-heavy podcast. Right out of the sink. I've been having.

But yes, like, it will be, it'll be a sign. It will be a little sign, and you'll go, it's almost like they didn't think about how much that was and that will continue. And also same if you are all kind of like at this stage and then there's one person being like, I'll just have a tap water and I can't come for dinner. You've got to make sure that you're accommodating for everybody and not just being like, ha ha, we'll all split this and not thinking about the person who can't afford it or, you know, the person who's like, I'll live in a cupboard and I'll make it my bedroom.

That's a little sign that they can't pay the full rent or whatever. And I think any sign is so we are so scared of talking about money. and it obviously is so gross. Again, sing it. You know, Who is the poor one? Something like that. Something like that.

They'll love it because they'll have to go, me, I have. And they're like, oh, it's the hard reveals it. Could this room be cheaper because it is so shit? You know? Very good.

It's a porch. It's not a room. It's a porch. Yes. I'm covered in eyes like a penguin. Must I pay the same as the lady having sex upstairs. Hey.

Yeah, it's hard. And again, as with so. many things it comes down to just like communicating be honest be truthful be on wow but a bit of spoken word to can bring us home yeah yeah just like just just tell you tell your truth and i think you're never too deep in anything anything in life to get out um and uh no matter how you know long you've been in it or how deep you are or anything or how much money's involved or you know mortgage anything like you just run run for the hills no you can always get out and and if you get something to swap with you or like yeah it's like if you for me it was

my turning point I was like, I'm out, is when I started walking home and I would see the lights on in the living room and when I live with all my friends, I would be like, oh, you know, cats home or whatever and I'll tell her about my big day. Bin day. Yeah, no big big day. Tell her about bin day.

What a fun time you used to have in that flat. No, just being like, I saw a goose. You know, just like, just stuff I got up to today. And then I, when I, and then I would come home and I would see the lights on in the living room and my heart would sink. And I would think like, oh people are here or you know when you you find yourself making dinner clearing up your dishes clearing everything away closing your bedroom door and then hearing people and being like like i'm living

you know and so i think it's like if that's truly your feeling is that you feel like you're sort of scampering around your own home or it's this constant sort of like oh sorry and you and you know if it's that it's like that's not a fun space to live in so it's like option one can you address it and pierce this toxic bubble and can we get through it and then option two is like can we just can you pop out you know because like there are so many people who need place places to live. Like, someone will swap with you. Like, it's not the end of the world.

It is hard, those things. Because then you're going to find somewhere else. No one's saying it's not hard. Sorry. I'm not being like, no, no. Yes. We're agreeing. Oh.

We're absolutely agreeing. It's being like, yeah, it's going to be tough and you'll have to find someone. You can have to do all the stuff. But you can do it. You know, don't live with that feeling. You know, you can get out of there. And then when you get out, you're like, oh, my God. I lived in that for so long.

It's a lovely feeling when you leave. It's your home. That should be your sanctuary. That should be your temple, you know? It's be a place that you come back to. I think that can bring us home, could it? Yeah, why not? I think there's so much what we could discuss,

but people have got lives. We've got lives to live. Everyone's bored. People have got housemates to go home. Or housemates to quit, or housemates to go back to him and be like, we need to address the rice. You're having sex loud.

A bit of fun. Who's the poor one? Lots of songs you can be singing. Thank you. So much for listening. We're at Nobody Panic Pod. Please Buy Our Book. Please buy the audio book.

It's a lot of fun. And yes, if you have any episodes suggestions you would like us to tackle in the future. We are Nobody PanicPonicpodcast at gmail.com and at Nobody PanicPonickpod on Twitter. Thank you so much Bristol for having us. Thank you so much for listening. We will see you next week. Have

a lovely time. Love your housemates. Love yourselves. Best wishes. Best wishes. Good night. Good night!