Nobody Panic - How to be Confident at Work & More: Live Q&A Episode

Episode Date: May 26, 2020

Tessa and Stevie take live questions over YouTube about everything from how to survive your first job and how to appear more confident to how to follow your dreams (even if they’re scary). Also some fun questions about when they first met each other (Stevie was horrible to Tessa) and whether they play musical instruments (no). Features three strong brandies (Stevie) and half a gin and tonic (Tessa). Recorded by Ben Williams and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive Productions.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Follow Nobody Panic on Twitter @NobodyPanicPodSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true, Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. it. Welcome to the Nobody Panic live episodes, an attempt to do it via YouTube. I've got a brandy orange. I've got a gin and tonic with cucumber. Hello. We've got dressed up. I've painted my nails. I can't stand up because I'm doing the classic thing of I'm not wearing any trousers.

I'm wearing this dress like a robe because it doesn't do up anymore. Look, we're all, we're all doing our best. And there's the police on their way. The fashion police are coming for us. We've both got fancy earrings on, and then we discovered that you couldn't see them in our microphones. So I'm just wearing one out like a DJ. And I'm going to put mine next to Matukin over here. So this episode, what we're going to do is we're going to take questions from the floor. Wildly arrogant to think that anyone would want to ask us any questions that would sustain an entire hour of the podcast. But that's what we're going to do.

and any question you like, I guess. Tess is more up for like what you're watching in quarantine. I was thinking for people at home who aren't watching the live episode and just want to listen to an episode of the podcast, maybe we could try and help you with life things. But hey, like maybe not. Who gives a shit? I've sworn already, so that's the end of that. But yeah, first up, we're going to do our adult thing.

And if you have any adult things that you've done this week, please type them in and we'll read them out. That's how it works. Yeah, we're yeah, we'd love to hear your adult things, please. Anyway, we're so thrilled that people are joining it. Thank you so much. Before we start as well, shout out to Roy and Margie, my parents, who were watching. Woo, woo, woo, woo. They couldn't get into the Zoom quizzes.

So this is, but this was a lot easier. And they're here. And what adult thing have you done this week, Tessa? I'm in a house that, and I'm sure everybody living in London in a house that was not, was built more than 10 years ago is surrounded by somebody who built something and just thought, that's, that's fine. That'll do. somebody did like the most bare minimum job they possibly could have done and then was like

that's done. Anyway, so there's this bit in the kitchen, this horrible bit of like MDF that just takes up half the space and it turns out to be hiding this like the boiler and all these pipes. And I was like, well, this is shit. So I got rid of it. The boiler. I got to forget it. I don't need it. We don't need it. No. I got rid of the bit of wood. And I was like, look how much space is freed up. But now all these pipes are exposed. And then, as we all know, somebody has developed a copper obsession. No! Yes.

Okay. Oh, look, here's, here is the bit of the wires for the television. Look, I'm obsessed with copper. And anyway, they're copper pipes. And I, have you been watching the TV show, The Repair Shop, Stevie? No. It's on BBC One. I cannot recommend it enough.

It's like a lovely, big barn. And several professionals who repair things just sit there very quietly. And they've got lots of paint brushes and jars. And people bring in treasure things that are broken or like teddy bears that have, you know, been loved for 80 years and like grandmother's china and it's shattered or whatever. And then these lovely earnest people just very slowly repair them. And that is my dream job. Anyway, so I did the, I shined up these copper pipes and took all that someone had painted them white.

I know it sounds shit, but it looks really cool. It does not sound shit at all. It does. I can see your face. No, no, it's not that. My face is my, my face. My face is doing that because I just can't believe the amount of anecdotes you have that involve piping now. Like, there's so many.

There is a bit of cough exposed copper pipe in every room. Every anecdote. I've got to stop. I've got to stop. I'm looking at three in front of me now. I've got to stop. But look, the point was that I think I was having such a low day. And then I very slowly scrubbed it all off with this like wire brush and like shined it up and like painted over it with a bit of copper paint and pretended it.

and pretended I was in the repair shop. That's what the copper paints for, not for walls. It's to make pipes look like copper. There we go. So I'm not going to give you my adult thing. What I'm going to do is I'm going to read through some of the adult things that people have sent us. So Rachel has remembered to put the bins out and changed her bedding. Very crucial.

Hope that they were separate, two separate things. Yeah, hopefully. She's got a bin in her bed. Julie, sorry, I've not got my glasses on. That was a real, because I wanted to look fit. Okay, Julie says, my adult thing is that I got into Goldsmith's uni, and in Tess's voice, say I am thrilled. I'm thrilled, is it that?

Yes, of course it is. Or maybe it's this. I am thrilled. Either way, we're thrilled for you. Congratulations, Julia. That's incredible. Well done. And I'm also thrilled.

That's the way I say it. We're all thrilled. Amazing. Frieda, Hoover's the Flat. Can't remember last time I did that. Yes. Yeah. Yes.

I'm just living in dust. Can I do one? Oh, yeah, please. My adult thing, I made a flower garden. This is from COVID-19 home tutoring. Gladby you took that one. I bowed out because I was too frightened. Thank you, COVID, is chiming in with what they've been up to.

My adult thing, I made a flower garden and have watered and de-headed, my plant. Understood. Dead-headed my plants, very attentively to two days and counting. Congratulations. That's wonderful. I remember when I was little and I was little, and I realized I didn't like gardening. My mum would take me to like,

we're going to deadhead the plants. It sounds so fun. But when you don't like gardening, it's just, it's sort of like ripping the heads of flowers. Have you seen the Adams family? Oh, have I. Sorry.

Sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, Wednesday, Adams. Thank you. As if the motif for your whole life is not the Adams family. There's a bit where Mortisha is, like pruning some roses and then she just like snips three perfect roses off the things and throws them in the bid and then and that's what I always think deadheading is. A hundred percent. I had it,

I think maybe a lot of people had this at university. Maybe it was just me. But I had a like a crap vase that I'd found in a charity shop and I was like just to make this university room look a little bit more mature. Obviously Scarface poster, I hadn't seen it. And then a vase with dead roses in it just stayed there for the full three years of university, I'd move and be like, but my dead roses. And my, because I did that. Did you? Oh, my God, I'm so glad. Because I thought about it the other day. I was like, that is weird. Put them in there when they were dead or they just died. No, I held them until they died. I wouldn't put it past you. No. No, I know I didn't. I actually just had really nice roses. And then they went black. And I was like, they don't decay in quite the way. It's not, they don't decay in a dry way. So you're like,

well, this is a, this is a piece? This is a piece now. Is this a hard? This goes so well with my friend's poster and my Scarface poster. Miles to go, Miles to go, full name, says my adult thing. I bought an incense stickholder to replace my previous method of just burning it in an old raspberry jam jar and hoping the ashes don't set my room alight. Very powerful. Being an adult is so much about doing the thing and like checking and making sure, rather than just hoping for the best.

That's a very non-adult thing to do. So that's really great. Miles to go, miles to go, which I presume is your actual name. Holly tracked all her spending for the year so far and turns out spends a lot of money on snacks. Correct way to spend your money. Look, get your dopamine where you can. Somebody started Meg started doing her physiognisers for her shin splints again.

Congratulations. I've got a lot of friends with, not to be like, so I've got a lot of friends with shin splints. As it was coming out of my mouth, I was like, what are you talking about? I just, I do know a lot of people. What a weird flex! So, such a weird thing today. It really came, sorry.

My housemate, had them and they were real, I really, but I lived it next, next to it. So I don't have them, but I know what you're going through. Yeah, having a real spiral about the shin spills. I am. I'm springing it up. I would say that, yeah, I did add to do physio for like six months last year. And the movements were literally like, do this a hundred times. You're like, what? The movements are so boring. And they feel like they're not doing anything, but they are. So it's really great that you did it. I gave up. Yeah. I was bored. And I'm going to just say Mark,

rather than the full thing. I cleaned my yoga mat. That's good. Maybe I should clean mine. And renewed my parking permit. Wait, so you've got a car. That's your adult. That's the adult thing.

Clang? Hardier. Then spent my day eating crisps on bed balanced. I'd say the crisps on bed is an adult thing as well because it's, again, nothing more adult than doing, you know, when you're growing old? You know when you're growing older? But you go to uni or you go away from home for the first time and you're like, I could have dessert before, mom.

feel. It's a real, it's quite a scary realisation of, oh, how far can I actually go? But, yeah, it's that you could buy a birthday cake any time. Oh, I've not got to that stage yet. Shit, I can. Well, you could if, I don't actually like birthday cakes. It hasn't really appealed to me, but the idea is like, if I wanted to, I could. Do you mean you don't like sponge cake? I only like carrot cake, because I like the topping. I don't like, they're so dry. Pop some candles on it. That's a birthday cake. That's the most thing as a birthday cake. It is what you say it is. Oh, right. God, you're so. wise stevie because it's lord um my adult thing is i spent my lunch break queuing to get into home base

haven't we all to buy a treatment for my insect infested plant babies and now i've quarantined them quarantine section well indeed a quarantine within a quarantine so they won't spread yes that's too much because that implies you've got a plant that's lived long enough to have a baby i'm trying to grow an onion that hasn't worked that's the end of that right an onion i'm trying to yeah well i looked it up and it was like, put the onion in soil or just put it in a big glass. And so I've just sort of put it in a big glass. Nothing's happened. What surprise?

So we should... I'm going to end with this one. It's nice and powerful. From Katie McNamara, I took all the cups and mugs down from my working from home office to the kitchen. Because who among us is not living in 2006 hit movie signs in which

the ending is that there are lots of glasses of water everywhere in the house? That was not what I took away from film. Have you seen signs? I've seen it many times. The end is that there's a whole through line that the child keeps drinking glasses of water and then at the end it's so convoluted but what turns out what turns out to kill the aliens who've landed on fucking planet earth is water. Anyway, and then a guy with an unresolved baseball career. I've not seen the film. I've not seen the film. You've not seen signs? Well, I have. None of this is meant. It's like this is a completely different.

It's like this is new. Yeah. Anyway. the, many, many glasses of water in the house is an enormous plot point, and my house looks like that. They're everywhere. That's great. I'm so happy for you. I love it whenever we watch the same film, I can never remember. It's like if I see like a show or something and there's a friend's show and then afterwards, I'm like, I love the bit way, and I've forgotten all the quotes, whereas you remember

the most specific things about, like, all I remember in science is a bit where the alien comes out in the video and everyone like freaks out and whack a bit, got tin hound, but that's also in the trailer. Anyway, this is, we're going on a massive time. Hey, pal, take that breath. You're doing so great. Yes, I forgot to breathe. Yes, Wednesday Adams. Just take a moment there, pal.

Wednesday Adams. God, I loved her so much that I then went to see Casper as well. Is she in that? She is, Christina Ricky slash Ritchie. She is, and she's just so cool. Okay, so we got a question from Anna. Anna Brownbridge. Are you okay?

I just can't believe that that's, I can't believe that's the same person. Oh, yes. Anyone who's listened to the podcast for a while might know, or maybe we haven't said it on here, that Tessa has a problem with faces to the extent where we once did a quiz. And she couldn't recognize like Tom Cruise or whoever the prime minister was at that point. I can't remember who it was. I thought it was Colonel Gaddafi. Yeah, that was a lot. It was Tony Blair. I've got, I've got, if we've met in real life and I've had please, please, please, please say who you are to me because I have got quite bad facial recognition problems. But it means that I can't tell who anyone is in the movie. So if they're in an, if they pop up in another movie, it's a huge surprise to me that they've, I basically don't think anyone's ever worked again. And your worst is Jim Broadbent.

Oh, who is that? Everyone. Who is no one? I think he is Fred Flintstone and it's not him. But he was in the Flintstones. So. And then Stevie's constantly, points at somebody who couldn't possibly be Jim Broadbent. And then she says, that's Jim Broadbent.

Look, Tessa, it's Jim Broadbent. No, no. No, but all of us have seen Jim Broadman. And no, that could be Jim Broadbant. He's that good. Okay, so first question we've had, what's your favourite memory doing the podcast together? It says Anna Brown Bridge.

Anna, what a lovely question. Thank you. I immediately have one, which, yeah, which is when we had the debrief. We used to be called the debrief podcast, and that folded, and we weren't told. That's the memory. Thank you, Anna.

Next question. I just love it when things fold. Um, no, we weren't really told that was going to happen. So it's quite a shock. And we didn't also know what was going to happen with the podcast. And then it became very clear, like, within the hour that the podcast was gone. And we were in a Pret. And Tessa would just run the London marathon having done no training. And I was, I was like, I'm really sad. I think I didn't cry, but I was like, I'm really like, like, fucked off and sad. Like, we've spent this like a year doing this podcast. And now, and it's just like, oh, buckle. up in the tessa way and then um was like wait we'll just we'll just do another one it's fine right and then essentially it was like right just carry me to the door i'm really stupid sorry tessa just carried a woman to a door who could she could not move her leg so i had to sort of drag her like she was a like a like she was a cardboard cutout of a woman and i only find that funny now when i look back by the time i was like yeah you're so right and also what pain you're in

Yeah, I was in, you were in a lot of emotional pain, and I was in so much physical pain that I didn't care about the podcast. Yeah. And I couldn't, I could not stand up. And I don't know if you've ever run much too far, but it's, it's honestly like muscle entropy. Like, you cannot, it's a genuine, like, it really tastes you by surprise how incredibly bad it is.

And I couldn't stand and I couldn't walk because you had to carry me out. Amazing. That's a lovely, lovely memory. Mine is probably, mine is probably the very first time when we first I was doing the debrief and the very first time we said we got we just set an email account and we said email us it's just a no one no one on email us and then we got this such a sweet email that I took I remember saving it and reading it to so many people and it was somebody just saying thank you so much I really enjoy listening to this podcast I'm going through quite a tough time and it's my favorite thing and it was the first time ever that anybody had like listened to it and And it wasn't just me and Steve. I'm talking to me. My mom, who's listening.

And your mom, who was, Margie. Such a, no, she's only just understood it. Great. She thinks we have a Radio 4 show. So don't, she doesn't know what we're doing. No, so she's in, she's very much a, she's a fair weather. She's only just got involved. But your mom was there from day one.

Yeah. And just seeing that like, it was, it was of help. And that sort of was like, not to be like, oh, if we've done some good for one person, then the whole thing's. Oh, yeah. immediately don't feel slightly delusional, saying in the studio being like, yeah, it just felt like, yeah, okay, we'll keep, we'll do it. Anyway, that's my really good one.

We've got another question from Nessa. This is an interesting one. So Nessa says, my manager is asking to show more leadership at work. Hey, manager. Any advice on how to do this? That's a really good question. I've luckily been watching a show at the moment. And what I'm going to, like, disclaimer, which we should have put at the start, we are Nat experts. You'll find out quite quickly that without doing research, oh, there's nothing in here.

But I have been watching this show recently. It's got an old show from like the 2000s called Friday Night Lights. And it's, look, it's about an American football team, but it's not. It's actually about their relationships and the leadership of the coach. And one thing I love about that show, and it's really like, sort of, it's made me change how I'm not a leader at all, but it's made me change how I do things when I'm working with other people. And it's about like, When someone says, like, be a leader, you immediately think, well, I should be a bitch. Like, I should shout a lot, you know? And that's actually not what people mean.

What they mean is you should listen more and listen more and listen to the people who you're working with or I guess who are under you. Your underlings don't understand off the culture at all. You know, yeah, your little underling people, your little prawns. You should like listen to them more. And a good way of like going into a new job or trying to be a bit more of a leader is to maybe set up meetings and be like, okay, so what would you like to see from this department, from this situation? Is there anything that you think I could be doing better? Because there's nothing better than someone in authority that you automatically feel deference to, being like, I'm just like you.

And I would, I will take some criticism. And you can maybe schedule breaks to go into the toilet and have a cry if you, if you need it. But yeah, that would be my tip. I think that's such a good one, Stevie, that's like, sit down with, sit down with whoever you're the leader of. and say exactly that of like yeah they always say what do you need from me to do your job as best as possible and to say to them there's no there's no wrong answers here you can think you know completely outside the box do think of anything and give them free will and I guess leadership is knowing that they you have their back I remember one of my very first jobs I worked when I was 17 I worked in a Italian restaurant

to a man who was mad and every time you say about working you bring up a new job that I've never heard that you've done. Well, it's really impressive. Oh, well, I've done a lot of things. But the very first thing I did do was my mum, there was right outside with the bus, I got dropped off on the bus in town.

So, such a pointless piece of course. But what number of bus was it? It was the school bus, so it was just the bus. Thank you for us. It's completely irrelevant questions, too. Though it's this, I think, and so my mum said, why don't you just walk in?

A child with no experience, be like, can have a job? And I did. bafflingly they let me and I worked there for a long time, but he was completely crazy and horrible to us all. And then one day, something, some real shit had hit the fan and it was chaos and somebody, and we were in so much trouble with a customer. I actually can't remember what had gone on, but I do vividly remember him literally standing in front of us as the staff and being to the person who is telling us off and being like, this, you'll deal with me. Do not speak to my staff

like that. Like I'm in charge now and I will take, and that understanding. of like even though it wasn't his fault he hadn't fucked up it wasn't his problem to be like I'm the boss and my job now is to look after you and I was like oh wow that's that's leadership I mean it doesn't justify how you've been completely crazy for the rest of the time but just I think true leadership is like just knowing that that that that your leader has your back yeah trust a lot of trust trust have another brandy you know what I'll pour another one um we have another question that I'm going to bring up which is another work based one but I think this is really nice is how um Asher says, any advice on how to be more confident at work?

First job post-uny. Oh, first job post-un, maybe. It's the hardest. Oh, love. If you listen to our... It's having a spiral. If you listen, Asha, to the... Oh, it came out today.

Great, it's Tuesday. We did an episode on how to overcome imposter syndrome. And while that seems like it might not be the same sort of thing, I think it is quite relevant to this. So in that episode, So Tessa talks about how, like, in one of her first jobs, whenever anyone came over to ask us to do anything, she would, before they'd even send her things, say, I will mess it up, I'll be rubbish. And that's sort of how, I remember the first job I did it, you know, actually was like, like, even work experience where you just feel like, what are the rules here? What are I supposed to be doing?

What are the right ideas? Whatever you would, I remember being terrified of needing a week, because I'd be like, oh, then I've got to go to the toilet. Stupid. Yeah, I just accept that. will spend the first week extremely hot. I remember going in... Yeah. But you'll never look sexy.

No, you'll be so, so hot. I remember going into a meeting, which I didn't know if I was supposed to be in the meeting. And then they, like, put their head outside the door and we're like, are you coming? And I was like, which is, if someone did to me now, I'd be like, oh, yeah, sorry, here I come, irrelevant. But at the time, it was like the worst thing that had ever happened to me that I hadn't gone into the meeting at the right time.

Oh, God. Then I was sat in this meeting. And I remember, I mean, oh, I've got my knee up right now, but I think I remember I was sat in a weird way. And I remember being like, I can't get out of this position now. It is crucial that I do not move. And I became so aware of my own need, I was like, everyone's looking at my knee. In a room of grownups who are just getting on with their job being like, why is that girl so hot, like so sweaty in the corner? So I think just just be, just know that that's coming.

Know that that's nothing to do with you. That's just your own totally new situation in which you're expected to know all these rules and all these like weird. little codes and all this like office politics and where the toilets are and all of this stuff and everybody else is taking it so for granted and just accept the first couple of days is going to be bad and then you're going to crest right into it and there'll be a time in like honestly such a short amount of time like two weeks but you'll be able to look back and be like ha ha remember that time that I couldn't go in the major because my knee was so big you know like you you'll be able to look back so just ride it out for that first little bit and just know that like you are good

and you are talented and you don't have to never never downplay your talents and your skills like and believe in yourself. Yeah, also things like little tricks like making tea for people because that gets you talking to people that you wouldn't not ordinarily be talking to. And if you are invited to like

an after work drinks thing or we're all getting lunch, like even if you don't want to, I think it's really good to in those first few months just go. And it is quite frightening, but it will just, you know, the whole goal is to make you feel comfortable in that office environment. And know that everybody in that office,

even if they've been working there for like five to ten years, are like the same as you in the sense that they quite a lot of the time maybe don't really know what they're doing. Do you know what I mean? Like they might know the office stuff, but they've got their own stuff going on as well. And you're not standing out by being new. I think like you say, Tesla, when you're new,

you just feel so exposed all the time and like you're going to do something wrong. And I think people completely forgive mistakes. mistakes made by someone who is in their first job so much. And well done on getting a job, but after you graduated and keep reminding yourself that you are in a really good position because so, it's just to be like two years to get a job after I graduated. It was absolutely devastated. Like, it's so great that you're there. So you've done that, you've done kind of the hard work. You just have to really like fake it until you make it feel confident. It's exactly that. And just know that like you're going to feel, you're going to feel shit inside.

So just chit some teeth. Yeah, sorry. Get a boob out and then just point it a tooth. I'm never one tooth. That's good. That is good. Another question we have. Hopefully that helps.

I'm sorry that we're not spending too long on each question, but I want to get through. There's obviously millions coming through, so it's really high. As it, Ava asked, oh, this is a good one. Oh, advice for being in lockdown with your family and not going insane. Ava, have you ever thought about going on TikTok? and making your parents do a dance with you.

What is that about? You're asking me? Yeah, sort of in general, really. Right. But, like, on TikTok, there's so many, like, it'll just be like a little dad and then he, like, shoots out and starts doing some sort of, and they're all doing a choreographed dance. It was like, oh, God, guys, yes, you're a great family.

Well done. You know, it's quite like, aren't we so in sync? Like, it's very, it's very hard, especially given how many TikToks there are. We're like, well, they look, well, they look fun. Yeah. And there's not fun in my house. I think just then this is true of like whether it's your family or your partner or your housemates or whoever you're with to be like, is this them inherently being a terrible individual or is this quarantine, is this quarantine? You know, I read I really love this thread called this relationship.

People ask questions on Reddit, relationship advice basically. And somebody was writing in about how their boyfriend has gone completely insane and keeps calling pepper, freshly cracked black pepper and puts it on absolutely everything. And then everybody was like, maybe ask him if he's all right. Like, rather than just being like, fuck him. He's got obsessed with calling it freshly cracked by pepper. And then he was putting it on brownies, on cheesecake, like covering it and stuff. And then she updated it the next day being like, thank you for the advice and to say, are you okay? And he said that he just had got so overwhelmed with quarantine

that he wanted to come out of it with a new special skill. And so the pepper was his thing. And so I think people are going, going a bit generally mad and it's very easy to be like, oh my God, they're the worst person in the world or I cannot believe I'm stuck with these people, but just be like, hey, they're going through this as well. Quarantine is making up about 80% of their personality at the moment, like, cut them a break as best that you can. And with your family, just like, it's so hard because maybe you've become a grown up and you've left home or you've gone away to university or you, and you've had to come home in the middle of your university year where you're like, this was my,

this was it, this was my, I was leaving and now I'm stuck back here. And that dynamic of like, am I the adult, am I the child? Where's the power balance here? It's so, so hard to get right. And so I think it's just about, I don't know, communicating as best as possible and like giving each other space and feeling like, you know,

take on as much of the sort of household stuff as you can. Yeah, it feels like there's like a balance, isn't there? Because when you, you could be at university, but also you could be much older. Whenever I go home, I immediately have to fight to not refer to be 18 again, which is when I left. And you just feel like I'm better at it,

because now I go home. I've obviously been home quite a few times since I was 18 now, but each time I'm better at being like, no, don't complain about that. Like, it's just silly. And, or I'll just be, it's not actually complaining. I just suddenly become incredibly lazy and I'm like getting up at like two in the, two in the afternoon being like, rise, breakfast turn. Like, it's like, help.

So I think, yeah, you're right. It's very hard to fight against that. But there are, rather than like becoming, you know, some sort of Mary Poppins type character, you could maybe like pick three things that you're like, what I'll do is I'll clean the sink every few days. And I'll also just like make sure the, you know, the outside of the cupboards

when everyone's like opening them and they get a bit like dirty because people have got food and that. Maybe I'll clean that off. Like, like, little things like I'm just listing things that I try and do in my flat because yeah. And yeah, and try and do them from a place of love as best you can and not from a place of, um,

redemptive fury that's like, bang, I'm doing it. Like I remember my dad shouted when I, when I first moved home after university, and we had a terrible time of it because I was like, I'm a crowder, but also I've got no skills as this when you were applying to be head of BAFTA. Correct, same, same time.

So that was the sort of melting part of where I was at. And I remember my dad shouting at me about not doing something around the house, so I woke up at 5 a.m., like banged around the house, like doing it all very aggressively and very, so I did all the jobs, but you're like, well, what's that achieved? Now everyone's cross. Yeah. And I was realized that, sorry, they just realize there's no

winners, you know, you're never going to come out of it. Like we said once about, don't try and solve racism at the Christmas dinner table. Like, it's not going to get solved. Like, you don't have these huge family debates about things. Like, just, you've got to take an emotional backseat and be like, we're just doing our best here. Yeah. And also,

making sure that you don't lose your own identity. Like, all of these other people, you're all, you you love them. They're your family. But they are all coping in their different ways and you need to make sure that you don't forego your own coping mechanisms because you are living in a functioning or non-functioning household. So it's like a really helpful thing that a lot of people have said when I've just sort of, it's not a cheeky gook is that like to keep fixed, like wake up at the same time,

try and have your meals at the same time and try and go to bed roughly the same time. So that you feel like you want like whenever I don't do that, regardless of whether I'm at home or not, but it tends to be at home that I suddenly, I went home the week before the lockdown. And my mum was out working all day. And I was like, I'm going to come home and just do some work and do some writing in the day. I was like going to sleep at like six in the morning, having bought 17 pairs of brogues from China. And then like getting up at 4pm because no one was there. How has this happened so quickly?

To make sure that you don't lose yourself in the functioning of the house. You go a bit, you go a bit richy rich. I haven't seen the film. No, no, sorry. No. home alone. Wow. So you first I was Richard. Yes, you do go a bit home alone. Yeah. It was the same. It was the same boy. He was not a man, but

absolutely was it. It was the same young lad, McCauley. And you do go a bit home alone. When he's first there, he's just, you're just like, you're like, I feel sick. Yeah, we're like, I don't pay these bills. I'll just turn on the tab. You know, like, you're like, you're like, to what you do when you go home, just turn all the tabs. I was just imagining things. But I was like, yeah, it's hard. It's hard. And I think it's just about just try.

Yeah, and, you know, this as much as possible. And, like, if it helps not have a bitch, but, like, if, you know, if you've got people that you can talk to about the very specific problems, don't, like, keep it all pent up because everyone on TikTok is doing choreographed dance moves with a father, you know? Like, I mean, you don't love them. It just means, you know, you're not supposed to be, no one is supposed to be in this

close quarters at this point. So any, like, there's always going to be arguments or, you know, ruffled feathers. Hopefully that helps. Next question, a little bit of a tone shift. Tessa, what episode is your favorite slash emo's proud of?

That's by Claire Lowe. It's not by. It's like Blue Peter. And that was made. That question was made by Claire Lowe. I'm going to choose three. Oh my God. That was so quick, cognitively.

One is the Maricondo episode about getting rid of things. I love that one. For a moment in it in which Stevie realizes what I'm trying to say in real time. So we're talking about getting rid of something and how if you hold onto something and you're constantly like, ah, where does this live?

It's because you don't really want it in your house. And so she chose a thing that she, she chose something that she loved and we found a place for it was very easy. And then she chose this thing that really she didn't actually want in her house. A giant stone butterhead that my ex had bought me. And we'd realized in real time on the podcast that this like, ah, where should I put this was to do with being given this joke, massive Buddhahead. that then when she'd been received it, everyone had said, like, well, I guess you don't think it's that funny because you're not that funny. She was a surprise party, him and all of his friends, and they were like, here's the buttollet.

And I went like, oh, that's nice. And they went, oh, right, we didn't react. Oh, right. And I was, like, devastated that I hadn't reacted. So then, like, an albatross around her neck. Hmm, I'm going to commit to that. Yeah. Yeah, why not?

Like an albatross around her neck. She was then forced to carry it with her forever, being like, I am fun, actually. and then we were like, let it go. Let it go. That one, the time, the being on time, I think is a really one, because I think that was for both of us really like, oh, wow, okay, I get,

this is much deeper than we thought. And then the last year very quickly, one is the wine episode, which we get lots of messages about because it was a real, like, passion project of mine that I'd been, wanted to do for a long time. And I was so, I think Phoebe is so fantastic on it. And I think it's really, I think it's really fun.

And then the guided run episode that we just did again. I'm very proud of that. Have you got, sorry I chose for. No, I've got one. I'll choose one, which is similar to the Buddhahead in real time, where we did How to Be More Assertive, and I hope it was for Nobody Panic, and it wasn't for the debrief. I think it was for nobody panic. And in the assertiveness episode, I think we both went into it being like, well, this is going to be about being like, no, a lot. And it turned out that it was Tessa in real time realized that her,

that she had a characteristic of a personality trait where in a group setting, if so like everyone's had a drink and then we're like, oh, where should we go to eat? Tess is always like, oh, I don't mind anywhere. And in her head she was like, I'm just being like easygoing, but actually she was being not assertive because she didn't want to say, I think work a mammoths in case everyone was like, no, we don't want to go there.

And then the judgment of the choice was laid on her shoulders, like if we circle back to the albatross. And it was really nice watching. it was nice watching you realize that, oh, I may be having assertiveness from, which to honest, I wouldn't have thought you had a problem with either. And then, but it was like, that it's so multi-layered as well. And also, there's one coming up, which we haven't aired yet, because we did it before lockdown. And we thought, let's do these kind of remote ones first, which is how to admit you're wrong. And when I said to Tesla, oh, we should do an episode

on how to admit your wrong, she went, no. And I was like, what's that face for? What'd you mean? She's like, well, because I've never been. And then she realized how absolutely insane that was. And then the episode was really nice because it was like talking about how how sometimes you can not at all, but how like we can all be wrong and not realize that we are. So that's

they're mine. Lovely question. Lovely question. Should we do that one from Bronny? It says, I've been fantasizing so much about training to be a yoga teacher. I believe so much in it, but I struggle with having the self-belief. What should I do? Be a yoga teacher!

Brunny. Imagine if you're like in my home, mate. We don't think we can't. Oh, God. I think a friend of mine just became a yoga teacher, and he is quite a successful West End musical theatre actor, sure. And not even quite a says, like a fully successful one. But he took some time out and just became a yoga teacher.

And he has, it's a he, of course, So he has the confidence of a man. Not all men have confidence, but a lot of men do have confidence, just don't want to serotype. But he was very much like, yeah, I'll do it. And I think everything that I've ever done that I've wanted to do, that I've been like, oh, I wish I could, but I can't. Whenever I've like, the pain and not the pain,

but the kind of frustration of not doing it has been so much, so much worse than the fear you feel when you start. You know what I mean? So it's so much, it's totally worth doing. anything that you ever go, oh, I'd quite a lot to do that, because you will just, you will always benefit because you're never going to be a yoga teacher if you don't even try. And there's no one you won't, once you get that ball rolling, Brody, there's no way you won't be a yoga teacher. You'll just be one. You will learn and then you'll be one.

Yeah. And I think we, we're so good at tricking ourselves into being like, oh, I want to be a yoga teacher. And then we think like, all these, all these people we imagine our head are going be like, oh, I think she can be a yoga teacher, does she? Like, oh, hark, madam, or she's no good at yoga or whatever. It's like, who's saying that? Like, you've made those people up. Like, they're imaginary. And, and I think we're so, it's very, very easy to trot out this, like, no regrets or like, you know, nobody regrets the things they did on their, you know, blah, blah, blah. Instagram quotes with a mountain and a girl in it. Yeah. And, but they are really, they come, they're cliche because they're true, which is like, you've always, you've

only got one life, you know, don't live, don't live a less version of it because you're scared of what other people will think of you. Like, if this is your dream, like, go, like, go. If it's a time management problem and you're thinking, like, well, I've got my job and how do I get like yoga in, you know, and there's, what's always good is to start, don't, don't go like, okay, so I guess in four months, I'll be a yoga teacher, like start small. So be like, okay, what's the next step? And, like, have a little roadmap that you plan out in a notebook or, you know, in a beautiful notebook or a piece or a shitty piece of paper. And you just plan a little road map out,

but don't ever look at anything other than the next step. So you're like, all I have to do, it doesn't matter if I pull out or I don't want to do any more. At any point, you can choose whether you want to continue down the path or not. But just focus on that one step. Yes. And now we're in, we're in your, oh. Go on. It's about the film, The Love Guru.

Wow. Okay. But he starts a radio show. and this fireman calls up and says, I'm getting married today, but I don't actually love this girl. I'm in love with the hose man on my fire truck. And then he says, the love guru says,

if your heart beats for the hose man, then you must go to the hose man. And I think about it all the time. And I sometimes I even say it out loud, which is a mistake because nobody knows the film. But my point is like, if your heart beats for a yoga teacher, to be a yoga teacher, like, go, be the yoga teacher.

Like, do those things. And exactly like Stevie saying, like starting a class tomorrow, with 100 people where you were the teacher, certainly overwhelming, doing just five minutes of your online yoga training tomorrow, achievable, you know, like tiny little baby steps until you're like,

oh, look how far I. Also, may I say absolutely bang on relevant quote, Tessa. That was great. Always, always actually relevant when you push her. So, Stephanie Trask, how do you maintain focus on your work while working from home? The answer is, if you're used to the office environment and not just eat all of the biscuits.

Clear your workspace. Oh, okay. Tess is right in. Okay. Come on. She comes in, strong and hard. Clear your workspace. Have a proper chair.

Don't do it in the bed. What are you doing? Oh, no. She's too much. She says. It's too much. Clear your workspace, which is something my dad's been shouting at me since I was five years old,

and I would sit down and do a painting in the middle of other stuff. Clear your workspace, which is something you will either do or you will spend the next 10 years ignoring and then be like, why is everything covered? And then you're doing it. And then you'll do it. a podcast and you'll tell someone called Stephanie to clay their workspace and that's what happened. And you'll finally, you'll finally understand what your dad was saying, which is clear.

You're just, this is the space that is for work. And I'm not listening to my own advice because mine is over there and it's covered in nonsense. But clear the space. Just you and whatever your work implement tools are, the computer, the notepad, the stuff. It's like, this is the business here. And then it's in a separate space to everything else. Ideally, it's in a separate room, but we can't all have a beautiful mahogany. study and get yourself some kind of get yourself a timer of some kind to be like and now I

will be doing this much work for this many minutes there's various sort of techniques like the Pomodora or shit like that's like 20 minutes on 10 minutes off I think that's a treat which has gone down quite badly in the past when I've been obsessed with treats and work and Tess has been like that's not the point you can't work for treats and like I am a dog it's not yes I think no to the treats and what's doing those treats well Stephanie does stay here and not eat all the biscuits so I think

the treats is tricky as somebody who's dress doesn't do up and was averaging about four bags of tangfastic a day no but treats don't have to be necessarily food-based treats also that the treats doesn't have to be and now eat all of your biscuits it could be like oh cool like lunch time you know

like so you just you break it into little um sections so you're not thinking about oh god I've got eight hours of work today you're thinking like okay, I've just got like two hours of work and then long. Yeah, it's like, it's like make yourself a lovely. Then you can spend several hours just colouring in, you know, lovely. What part of the way is that?

That's the coloring in section. Where you just be like, I start work at this time, then I do these blocks. This is it all laid out for you clearly. And then be like, I finish work at this time. And then I go home. And you can do a commute if you like in which you leave the house. You walk once around the block. You come home.

you say, how was your day? Yes, I'm saying options, options. I'm not shutting you down and I'm so sorry if it looked like that. No problem. It's high five. Yeah, so we find, you know, try that, try the, just like walk away from it. Otherwise, you aren't, you're just bleeding your work life into your home life and having two bad versions of both. Also, I think as well, fully accept that this is, if you're very used to the office environment,

this is hard. You're not like stupid or bad or a bad worker for not being able to. cope that well with working from home because you're not supposed to. If you could, then you would have chosen a working from home environment and you didn't. Yeah. So also I think speaking to lots of making sure that you're not solely talking to friends who have always worked from home and are like, isn't it great? Don't speak to them. You speak to them a bit, but bitch about it with like friends who are also like going crazy and share tips and like try and create a little network of people. So it feels like you're, because in an office,

often, you know, there's a lot of fun office banter. But also there are down times where you're just like all silent. working or on Slack. So use that into, like, what is Slack, if not a work WhatsApp? Just go on WhatsApp all day. Yeah. And like, you don't think that you're not, I mean, you're literally not working from home. You're attempting to do your job from your house in the middle of a global pandemic. So like, cut yourself some serious slack. And wear a bra, wear a bra. And clear your workspace. Yeah. Also, I'm not saying that in some sort of like patriarchal thing. I'm just being like, when I, when I'm not wearing a bra, it's like, no, it's downtime.

And it's like, I'm bras on. Boobes are working. Like, when the boobs are working for me, I'm working for my boobs. You know? For me, it's the, it's trainers. Are they laced up? Shoes on? Brains on.

Booms on. It's go-tie. For me, boobs are. Yeah, understood. And I like that about you. Real nice, quick question. Abigail, hello, do either of you play a musical instrument? Could this be an episode?

Oh. I'll be very honest with you. Absolutely not. My dad is a musician and I've failed him. Tessa, you. Tell them who he's drummed for. Oh, I don't know. Oh, well, fun one.

He did, I just feel, I just feel bad. He's watching and he'll be like, oh, great. Well, I think, Roy, I think it's the coolest thing in the world. When I was not, the one about. I know, I know. So when I was like, for my ninth birthday, I would around my ninth birthday, he was the drummer for Peter.

Jane Duncan, aka Anton Deck. And as a nine-year-old, holy shit, that was the best thing in the whole world, went to see them loads. And then also Anten-Dec left me a birthday where they sang happy birthday to me. And I met them once, and I was so, I really fancied Ant. As a nine-year-old, I couldn't help it. Anyway, I don't know which is which, but I...

But yeah, he tried to teach me drums. And my sister, my sister learnt drums and was great and has a little drum machine in our house. And I just, like, had no patience for it at all. And I, yeah, really sad. So maybe we could do an episode about how, or how to cope when you've let your parents down. Yeah. We both feel it.

Thank you for this great question. My musical ability extends to grade one piano, past. That's good. Not even a, no. No, it's pretty, it's pretty tough to do worse than I did. And I never progressed any further. I had this poor piano teacher called Elma, who lived six-hous.

houses down from me and I would go to her house on a Wednesday after school and I'm pretty sure I was the hardest part of her day like because I just couldn't do it I just couldn't do it and then I really really can't sing when I was six I was in the Christmas choir in the village I love your voice thank you so much stevie she's tried so hard she does try hard so I went off I went to the Christmas choir to rehearse and max the organist who must have been about 80 max pulled me aside I was six, and said, maybe it would best if you stood at the back and mouthed. Oh, no, no, no. Just a little insight into the level of confidence this six-year-old is packing. I came home and confidently relayed that story because I was like, he's saying that I'm so good that it would be best if I didn't show up the other kids.

But I just, I just have a perfect insight into you as a person. And even when I got to secondary school, and we had to sing in assembly, and everyone was always laughing at me. And I truly did not know why they were laughing, because I was like, I'm fantastic. My party piece was doing, there's one more angel in heaven from Josephine's technicality.

Oh, yes. And singing the, like, eight-part harmony, what was just me? And I truly thought I sounded like this. I thought I should be on the stage. Anyway, no is the answer. Have I, however, been considering buying a fiddle? Yes.

I desperately, desperately want to be able to play music. I want to be able to fiddle like I'm on the downstairs on the Titanic. Oh, that was not where I thought that was going, but fine. That's why I want to be in a proper, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, fiddling, foot stomping band. Oh, yeah, yeah, like when they go below deck and everyone's like, and yeah, but I always...

Yeah, when a... You want to go to a real party? Yeah, that's it. I think what you're doing is you're, you're not looking at what you can do. You're looking at what you can't do because you'd be... absolutely perfectly plays to be the dancing woman. I can't really dance. No, you know, you can't do dancing to time,

but you can you be very much like, they're like, woo, with the big skirts and the... Yeah, I'd just be in charge of throwing the skirt around. I think it might be a latent girl crush on Vanessa May. I don't know if Vanessa May is. The violin. Oh, well, good luck to both of you. Okay.

Yes, we'd love to do a musical instrument. We'd need to get some proper people. We can't do an episode on it because it would be me and testing like, don't know. I was going to say, but can you? You can't answer. So, fine. I hope you can.

I'm sorry that we can't. Emmy is 28. How did you decide to start each podcast episode with your adult things? Oh, I remember this. I remember this because it was when we were first doing, coming up with the idea for the podcast. And I was like, we were at the debrief and I was a, I was like a proper, like I was a journalist then.

So that's how I thought. I remember being like, well, you, you were like, we need something fun to get us in. So we're not just being like, hello, this is how you do this. Like, and I, I, I think you came up with the idea of an adult thing. And I think I wanted to do it at the start. And I think that was, it's like a perfect. And that's teamwork, maybe.

Tessigms up the idea. And I go, should we do it at the start? And then we go, no. That's the podcast. I think we were going to, when we was talking about like what we wanted the podcast to be, and we were like, quite a while ago, we were like 27 or 26. and we were like, oh, to sort of be more adult, but we don't want to call it be more adult

because there were loads of things at the time that were like, how to be an adult, adulting for adults. And so, but it was a way of doing it without having to call our podcast, like, this is how to be an adult, because it's sort of what it is, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

It's, yeah, I don't know. It's also a very nice way to get Tess's anecdotes in because I don't know if you've noticed, but the house being adult thing is me going, out of control. I've got a, I don't know, I've took the bin out. And then Tessas is always an incredibly funny anecdote. So I think it was a way of harnessing her power.

I'm telling you. Yeah, they're nice. They're so nice, though. And they really, they really, people really want to tell us about them, which I really, when we do, you know, live things, I really, I really love it. And also, I think it's such a nice, like, the older you get, the more you're like, oh, shit, that was, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Like, sorry. The first time you do, like, a tax return or, like, the first time that you, or you did a tax the term, you didn't cry, or you, um, you bought two of something and you put one in the freezer, you know, like, just like little tiny things where you're like, wow, actually, wow. I met, came home the other day and had all the ingredients for PIMs already in the house, including some strawberries I put in the freezer ahead of schedule. And I'd chop the green bits off because I know that they go rank.

And I was like, I was literally doing it being like, who's this? Who is this? Anyway, I think it's, so it feels, I don't know. I don't think you ever stop feeling them. But great question. Yeah, I love it helps us as well try and be more adult. like you say, like in your daily life, you're like, oh, this could be an adult thing,

so I'll do it rather than I'll leave it and be like old Stevie, or much is young Stevie, who doesn't do anything adult at all. Can we take this one from Kel? Sorry, you go, but I was going to say, what's your first and or favourite memory of each other? I don't have, I can't remember the first time I met you. Stevie doesn't remember the first time you met.

We were in a play together, and Stevie was in, well, that was the first time I met, but there were going into that play that, I already knew he. Oh, no, I know where the first time I met you. I watched studio singing. She played, if you ever seen singing in the rain at uni, they did a production of singing in the rain.

And I've forgotten the name of the woman that Tessa played, but it's the one who's like, I can't stand him! Like the woman who talks like that, who's the really funny one? And Tessa did it. And she was so good. I was like, who is this?

But she was in a different college, we were in like a uni with colleges. So I never really saw her again until we had to do a play in like, this is also a uni plays in like four days. So I didn't actually get to chat. to you during that. We just didn't. I'd leave and I'd be like, ah, and I didn't know my lines, and I hated it. Oh, God. So if you think this is a sort of Wednesday Adams vibe for Stevie now, at the university, it was, holy. I only had. It was like head to toe black. It was a choker.

She had completely black hair. There's like, all this eyeliner. I only wore heels. And she was very, I only wore heels. She was very, very cool, like extremely cool. And yeah, that's, so therefore people assumed you were cool because you look so. So it's name. Anyway, so we were casting this play together. We'd never met. And it was, it was written, it was like one of those like drama festival plays. It was like written by somebody there. And I walked in. I remember being like, oh shit, this is like cool Stevie in second year. And and then ahead of, above us, they were rehearsing for the pillow man. And then you, all your friends were in it. And I was like, oh, I saw that. It was not here, but like, I saw that on the real,

I saw that when it first came out. I saw it at school. And you were like, I remember you were like reading something. You were like, okay. I've never come that. I've never done that. I'm so nice. I don't ever. And then I said, like, how are they going to do the bit where there's a boy in a coffin? And you were like, oh, no, you were in the pillow man. I remember now.

So I was like, how are they going to do the bit with the coffin? And you were like, I just. No. I think they won't. And then you were really mean. No way. That's what happened. No way that I was mean to you because I was so nervous and shy and I was not horrible.

Sorry. Okay. Well, thanks for me. You weren't horrible. you were just really, really cool and aloof. And also the play was about Steve was playing my mother-in-law, and I was supposed to be terrified of her. And I was, I was.

But also, as well, I should say that in the pillow man upstairs, there was a guy in it who had literally dumped me that week. So I was completely devastated. So if I was ever mean to, it would have been like, I just wasn't saying enough words because I was... You weren't mean you were just cool. And what I see now was heartbreak. Oh, my God, thank you.

It was just, you're just putting up an ice edge to protect your own self and you were just going through something. But to me, it was you being like, yeah. I just, I just, I just don't feel like I've ever gone, yeah, to anyone. As you did it then, it was like, it was straight back. Wow, okay, right. Let's move on to the other things. I'm dripping in sweat now. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

And has like, see if there's a bitch. No, I did say that you were so cool, Stevie and everybody wanted to be friends with you. Well, you didn't. No, I know. No, I was. Just put that straight down your neck. Just have that. branding. So let's do, okay, since Tom, I recently turned 30 and I do not feel it at all,

perhaps related, I don't feel professional at work, any advice on how to feel closer to my age, professional, he doesn't work in an office. Okay, this is good actually, but closer to your age. Turning 30, nothing. Turning 30 about, I'd say, 100 years ago, was like, oh, you're nearly dead. Oh, okay. But yes. Now, a hundred years ago, you'd barely have survived the lake. Yes, actually, probably yes. And 30 now. is I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I would never go. Cannot stand that. You have, you have, you have to look at what you actually have gained and you have so much more knowledge and wisdom and just like, you know who you are so much more now. That doesn't just happen when you, like, turn 30, obviously,

but don't worry about not acting your age because 30, we are, um, I don't know, I've always been like, well, 30 and I've compared it to what my parents were like at 30. And then, This guy was there. But 13 just meet, like, we've, millennials have just written, ripped up the rulebook. And we're not, there's no, sort of, there isn't a thing. Like, it just is what you are.

So just, yeah. It's, it's not a thing. Imagine it's 40. Like, try that, you know, it's like. Imagine you're 80 and you're away. No, like, it's, it is, we are victims of being given a really, really clear, um, instructions about what adulthood was supposed to be like. and then we all arrived into it and it was literally impossible.

So all the things they told us we were supposed to be able to do, like, buy a house, you know, have kids, you know, get a dog and a garden and a front porch and all of this stuff. Like, they're physically impossible for our generation. And like Stevie saying, like so many of our parents, by the age we all are now had had us, like, I, you know, we're, and when you were a kid, you were like, oh, 30, God, I'll have like eight kids and a novel. Like, that's the oldest I can possibly imagine. I just, I know.

I've just bought one novel. And also, of course, like, Bridget Jones's diary. Like, she's like our age, isn't she? Oh, my God. Yeah. And it's this whole like, oh my God, women. I mean, I know this is from a, I don't actually know if it's from a boy or a girl, but it's so like, oh, 30, you know. And I really, really think that our generation are just re, having to be at the forefront of redefining that and being like that age is now irrelevant, as it always sort of was. and we literally cannot do the things that we used to do. My granddad told me story about them buying their first house. They got married when they were 20, my grandparents. And when they were 22, my granddad was doing some work on a farm for somebody.

And the farmer said, oh, that old mill is for sale, that old water mill. They live in a valley in North Wales. And who among us has not seen a 16th century old mill in the North Wales Valley? And my granddad said, oh, how much is it? and he said, oh, I'm going to sell it for £6,000. And my granddad said, I'll offer you four. And he had £3,000 in his market. Right. Yeah, different time.

What a different time. And then he just gave him the cash and said, I'll come round. I'll come round again and give you the rest or something. And that's my grandparents' house. And like, I don't even have ever experienced what it's like trying to buy a house these days. But like, it could not me, those experiences could not be more. separate. And so obviously that's a pretty insane example because, well, I don't know if it is. I think things just were easier. And so we were fed stories both from the movies and from our

actual parents and grandparents that were like, this is how we did it. Our first house cost $20,000. And that's where we had you and your brothers. Right. But also the more practically, like in terms of how to feel your age, I have, I will say that I have found, since I turned, since I've turned 30, brilliant, since I turned 30, I'm more like, oh no, like I will, for example, I bought a black t-shirt the other day, plain black, £35 from a sustainable brand. Because I was like, one black t-shirt, that for 35 pounds is better than buying 17 million that they keep shrinking in the watch and they keep buying them from Primark. So that's also a way, I'm not saying like to spend a lot of money on t-shirts.

I mean, know what you like and you can, you are able to. to now at 30 be more discerning about how you want to live. And I think that's kind of how you can feel mature, you know, like each, like if you want to feel closer to your age, like in terms of the adult things that we talk about, no one ever feels their age ever. You just never, ever feel the age that you are. But you can make yourself feel a bit like, one of the benefits of being 30 is being like, I will have, I know what type of, now I know what type of wine I want to drink. And I'd be like, do you have a burlough? Thank you, sir. Goodbye. I, I, I, you know who you are a bit more.

You've, you've, you've got these confidence to be like, yeah, this is what I like. And I don't really care who knows it. There's Stevie, just having a brandy. No, no one will tell her different, you know? And it's so, in Dolly Alderton's book, everything I know about love, she did, it did a bit, end about turning 30 and said it was like leaving a, a cheap hostel and checking into a nice hotel and I think that's a really good way of looking at it that makes you feel more positive about 30 and be like yeah I'm uh it's all right actually and I was on a zoom call

with a bunch of school friends the other day um two of whom were showing as a baby and one of whom was breast was breastfeeding and um if you don't have babies or you aren't engaged or you aren't in you know and so many people are getting married and doing all these sort of things and if that isn't what's happening for you it's very easy to be like ah but everybody's doing their own at their own pace and they're just on a different chapter and you've just got to not freak out and don't worry about it and I know this is really preachy because I'm I'm one who's always like well we're we're running out of time but it's like what a waste of energy to be you know just do it's literally the amount of time you've gone around the sun that's all it is like it literally

doesn't mean anything it's just a number that then we've attached meaning to so don't worry about exactly we put all this nonsense this nonsense this is definitely two women who are who have turned very recently, isn't it? Who are just constantly saying, it's nothing, it doesn't mean anything, we say while screaming

and clawing at the walls and having a brandy. No, it's nothing. It's nonsense. It's a construct. We've made it up. You know, you don't have to, don't give into it.

And also, like I say, like a hundred years ago, we'd all be dead. Like, you know, people got married so much earlier. People did things at different ages. And my absolute favorite tweet of all time is this tweet that says,

like, if I was, people who were 26, now like blah blah blah being 26 being 26 in like the 1900s being 26 in like 80 bc and it says like so my favorite thing being 26 in 80 BC I have lived a good life once I ate an apple and thrice a pair makes me laugh so much because you're like yeah honestly you would have gone to your deathbed at age 26 being like I've lived a good life thrice a pair you know and so it's all just me meaningless. It's not meaningless.

Just have a nice time and chill there. Chill the hell out everyone. And that's a good way to sort of end things. Have a nice time and chill out everybody. I think it's a lovely. Chill out everyone. I'm so sorry we didn't get to everybody's questions. Sorry about that.

It's so nice that you hung out with us. We didn't know if anyone would want to come. Yeah, or we're thrilled you. Everyone. Or ask questions. It's so tricky. You did great questions. Excellent questions.

And that's such a like at the end of a lecture when somebody says any questions, make sure just ask the question. That's actually a very good piece of time. It's great life advice. So I'm so thankful that everybody asked a question. Thank you so much. And if you are like, oh, don't mind watching. We have an Only Connect.

Well, Ted's not even we. It's very much Tess's thing. Oh, it's a dual operation. Where would I be without Richard? Well, so the Only Connect was the Nobody Panic version of Only Connect, which is a quiz. And I've not seen Only Connect. So I dress up as Richard Osman and do like facts because of anything pointless.

But then last time, Tessa forgot to ask. me to say the fact. I just dressed as Richard Schorzman, just sat there for like an hour. Actually, I did quit. Normally I road test all the questions on Stevie so she can do facts about the questions. This time, she's like, I'm not going to listen to your first round. And so then all the questions were coming up in real time for Stevie. And you just kept shouting, I don't know.

I didn't know. I didn't get it. And you didn't know. You don't have to know the only connect sort of format. You can just have a nice time. your brain will be. You just want to come and play a quiz. My brain does not work with it. So I just love watching other people have a go. But we, so that's on the 28th of May, and we put the Zoom link. Which is that Thursday. Thursday. We put the Zoom link. We've done them on the Tuesday on their pass, so don't get, no, don't get thrown.

One's getting thrown. 8.05 after the clap. Sorry. Sorry. No, that's so fine. A.05 after the NHS clap, if you fancy it. And then we have the Zoom with the Zoom link goes on our Twitter at Nobody Panic Pod on the day at 4. 30 and then, you know, together. But yeah, thank you so much for listening. And if you're listening at home, I hope that was intelligible. And it wasn't absolutely insane. But I thought your questions were excellent. And we gave some all right advice considering. I think we did. I think we do. I think we do. I'm going to celebrate with a brandy. And I'm this jar of cucumbers. Jar of cucumber. And please do do follow us at Nobody Do Panic Pod. Oh, we also got nominated

for a British podcast award today. Yes. Yay. Oh, woo! For the last episode that we did in Manchester. This one was about what to do when you run into your ex. And a couple who had broken up and were attempting not to rekindle their passion, but to make be friends, we're like, yes, we can go on just a friend activity. And they had shown up to it.

And it was. And we were like, the title is, what to do when you run into it? And they're like, they're now married. But yes, have a lovely rest of your week. We will be back with a, I guess, normal episode of the podcast. next week and um stay safe have a nice time enjoy branding orange but this is one of the best drinks I've ever tried thank you so so much and we will see you again bye bye bye bye