Nobody Panic - How to Be More Organised (Live at Brighton Komedia - Book Tour)

Episode Date: January 18, 2022

Stevie and Tessa are much less disorganised than they were five years ago - sure, the bar is low (Stevie once left her phone in the self service salad in a burrito place) - but they bring some top practical tips to help you get your life a bit straighter as we crest into the new year. Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Follow Nobody Panic on Twitter @NobodyPanicPodSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. And welcome to Nobody Panic live. We've broken the sound barrier and I've fallen backwards.

We're coming to you live from the Brighton Comedia. I'd say most adorable venue we've ever played. I think so. Gorgeous in here. I don't marry it. Welcome. Yes, people of Brighton. They're out in force.

They're looking gorgeous. The town's lovely. You're in pink trousers. I dress like a stripy dream. Yeah. She looks like a ringmaster. I think she looks very nice. Actually, that's really nice.

nice of you. You know what? I'll take that. Today we are doing the episode, How to Be Organised. We were organised to write a book, buy it. There we go, that's the promo done, isn't it? Good job. It's good, isn't it? And what we will be doing, rather than doing our own adult thing, which we like to start the episode of, if we get involved in the organisation of the episode

and also the actual topic of the episode, we're going to be reading out the adult things of the great people of Brickton. So let's go for it. Okay. Also, I just wanted to say to some, No, no, no, it was only about the people who had been, the people who have, who don't know what this is. Oh, yes.

Increasingly, we say like, hello, when people come and we say, like, we, this for your adult thing. And sometimes people's eyes just like glaze over and they're like, what? Like, what do you, what do you want? And they're like, you're, no, you're, you're, you're adult thing. And they're like, like a, like a sex, like a sex thing. Like a bit of sex. And we're like, no, no, you're most, you're most grown up thing.

You're grown up. Like, your tax return. They're like, is it sexy? It still sounds like sex, isn't it? And we're like, no, no, it's not. Oh, yes. If you want... Let's go.

Tessa, hit me. Yeah, why not? Started drinking again after six years. That's all. It's got to be over 18. It should be a thing. Brighton, baby, and didn't throw up on any of my friends, but I did lose my shoes.

I hope you're okay, dear friend. Bought a second-hand penis? No. Oh dear. Piano! I'm so sorry. Bought a second-hand piano and actually play it. And then also a picture of a smiley face and two of the eyes are penises.

No, they are crochets. Is that I think? Croaches. Coy-bo. Oh, sorry. Queerbo. Quavers. Okay. Was it you? Yeah, was you, wasn't it?

She's drawn them on? She's drawn them on. Oh, in a smiley face. But piano does look like penis, is it in a way. Also, in a way, same thing. Oh, it's adorable. This one sounds like it's like embedded advertising, and somebody's...

It sounds like it's from the bank. My adult thing this week is switching my bank account using the switching service. Sponsored. And bagged myself a free 100 pounds. But it's fantastic. Using the code, nobody paying. For a time in the late 90s,

my mother just opened every bank account on the high street for us, and then we just go round in a circle, getting all the bits, getting all the things you can get. That's what you could get like a hundred. Switchy banks, everyone. Yeah, no. Helped, this is, feels very, very grown up.

Helped my son already, wow. Yeah, rats in that sense. Paint, very impressive. His new house. Okay. So much adult nature. And if I may just bring it right down, bought the fancy washing up liquid,

brackets, grapefruit. It's a dry flavour when you eat it, but very delightful on a linen. Okay, planted spring bulbs ready to bloom next year. Oh, Charlie Dimmick's in the house with her boobs. I brought my own pen. Charlie Dimmick's in the house. I tidied up the shoe dump area.

Oh, where'd you live? And then as if we were, we... As if we weren't going to know, wrote, we all have one. And maybe it was more like, we all have one. I see it was more like that. I see now. Well, Dan, you've got to tied that area up. Let him go.

Not read it before I'm reading it. I spent half an hour pruning the Jasmine Hedge and talking with actual words to the neighbour about quotation marks, how awful the Jasmine Hedges, don't you think? Oh, that was so well structured, isn't it? We can all agree.

Is it there a Jasmine Hedge? Yes. Oh, good for them. Okay, good try Sassy from TEDx. No, it's not. She also makes a judgment I never do. No. I had a meeting with some business people.

It was over Zoom. No, it was about a... So I think it was, I had a business... Okay, I think it's actually... Read it. In a way. I'm just trying to get the tone right. The best way.

I had a meeting with some business people about a website. It was over Zoom. You see? But if that's their job and they do that every day, I'm unimpressed. If it's like they're going to start a website,

yes. I think it probably I cleaned a coffee stain on the carpet and it wasn't mine! And then as I was it's two parts. The thing is just two things. I'm going to read, but I said I can't get drunk tonight as I have work tomorrow. Let's all boo. No.

In my time off this afternoon, I cleaned my carpets. Oh, it rocked. What was on your carpet? The coffee stay. by the sound. Okay, again, a long one, haven't read it before, I haven't read it before I've said it, went to the gym at 7am, first time ever, went to work to get changed and had forgotten my shoes, war trainers, as a GP all day, bright blue and orange with black dress.

So anyone was treated by that person, we, yeah, I think, I don't think I'd better, I know if my GP was wearing some fancy kits. Oh, I'd love it. I'd say, oh, you're one of us. I'd love it, thank you. I cooked pumpkin curry for the first time Yes What's that? I didn't pretend All the words you need are in the sentence

I'm sorry I was just trying to add like a fun button To the thing But I did it wrong I didn't pretend to need the toilet When threatened with small talk Yeah What's the toilet?

Very good Told my boss my workload was too much And I needed to be given more time to complete it That is so hard to do I think you should applaud it Yeah. To go, I'm sorry, I can't do that. That's so hard. God. I finally cleaned out the cobwebs in the ceiling after finally investing in a gross feather duster. That's so hard!

That is extendable. It's actually really exciting. I wrote my first referral letter for a client, brackets very badly, but I believe in you. And number two, I wore a knee-length cardigan today. That was as important as each other. I replaced our front door lock instead of you. using the back door for weeks. When I was younger, I lived in my parents' house, climbed, used to regularly, I lost my, this is not interesting.

I lost my front door key. And I used to climb, get a ladder and climb in through the bath. And I had to slide into, that's climbing through the bath? What? The window, and it was when there was that a little bit came up.

It took me ages. And then I would slide into the bath. And one time I slid into the bath and it was full of water and I nearly drowned. God bless, God bless us all. We've done it. I'm going to do these really fast.

Okay. Bought myself a pair of wellies. Oh no, first pair. But myself with my first pair of wellies. Bailed out the flat when the water main burst. Perhaps those two are connected. Who's to say? I actually investigated how to use the slow cooker that someone gave me a year ago.

What's that? I left my junior colleague in charge and sold it as a learning opportunity so I could leave early to make it to the show. You bitch. Final one. And this is the final one that I'm going to seamlessly bring us home into the topic today, which is accepted that there's a lot to get done and started it. Right,

right, Jeremy. Someone understood the assignment? Is that what people say? And the meme? That's nice. The meme that people do. Okay, so we've decided to do the topic how to be more organised. Both of us forgot what the topic was

and our producers had to tell us. It's how to be more organised, is it? That tells you how organised we are as people. However, I would say both of us have come quite a like a breathtaking way I would say I would genuinely to get to that level because we were like absolutely horrific and so I do feel like we can bring our own

you know meandering experience to the topic yeah I was just going to say as you said I think we both come a really long way because we were bad I can hear someone who has known us a long time in the room went like this like that like yes you have There was one year that I lost 12 debit cards. It was one year.

Wow. Too many, isn't it? It is too many. And one of them I took out of my bag. And the reason I lost it was I got it out too quickly and threw it into the Thames. And I always think about that because I always think about the people around me. Because you can't show someone that I was an accident. So it just looks like I've gone like, don't need it.

But I then crying. That was the thing. Did you cry immediately? Did you look for it? No, I knew what happened. So it was like, it was this. So it was like, I had like a saddle bag, like a horse. And I went like this.

Oh, oh! And then cried for half an hour. So it was actually, I think people thought it was like a performance piece. And in London, who's to say it's not? It's tough, isn't it not being organised? We've got a lot better, but I would say today I washed this. Oh, yes. in preparation.

Did I dry it? No. That's too much to ask, isn't it? So I have attempted to dry it under the hand dryers in the venue and it is damp, okay? It's damp. So you try so hard

and then it's really, it's not easy, is it? You know, when we came to the, we had a book launch and I was like, it was one of those things I were thinking about, well, for a year, being like, I will look so good. I will be so not me.

And I rented a dress, so I could not be me. And then got the dress, and then arrived at the place, I'm like, I don't have any tight to stay on my legs. And so then I had to get my sister to bring a variety of an opacity of tights. And then spent the entire, even being like, sorry, I can see too much of my leg,

and then disappearing. And so I feel, which actually leads me on to a salient point, which is that a lot of the organisation comes from your own perception of events. So for example, I'm like, oh, I'm disorganised. So I will then act like,

I'm a disorganized. I'm like, oh, that's for just, that's for organised people. Yeah. Not for me. I'll act insane and that will kind of bring me home. We're actually like,

what I should do is be like, just buy some tights. You're very close to a shop, you know? Yeah. Obviously, I feel like we've signed the bar very low. Well, I think it goes to a shop. Yeah.

But like, it's that isn't it? You're so busy being like, well, I'll just change my time. throughout the evening increasingly psychotically and just keep shouting about it as opposed to being like what's the most sensible thing to do here? So the perception thing is so massive because you get yourself in this like princess, I'm going to call it princess syndrome where you're like, oh, oh right now I'm wearing a sack and my hair is... Or a wet top. Or a damp wet top. Or my hair's tied up with a sock and obviously now I don't look great. But in six months at this event I'm going to

or at this somebody else's wedding I have to attend where perhaps my ex-boyfriend and his new wife will be. Say. Example. Oh, just saying things from nothing. Oh, wear this amazing hat. You won't believe how good my hat will be, you know?

I'm nude, but the hat is so good. He's going to see me in the hat. Like, you know, you get yourself in this like, oh, but then, then I'm going to do it. Like, for example, going on your book tour and then I arrived today and my trousers were on backwards. Can you imagine how much it takes to put you... The fastening is above your ass on.

How have you put them on, you might think? It was a draw string like black jogging bottoms and the two, like, the string was hanging down. Yeah. And she wasn't mentioning it. So, like, everyone was like, I guess that's a choice, I guess, that lady. And then the lovely person that worked here that was screaming, but did you fly in?

I had the vibe of someone who had jet lag and I was like yeah it was half an hour away on the train and so this is the this is a sort of we're setting the scene

we're making ourselves relatable because we are very much the most disorganised people that I know yes however the I would like

if I may I'd like to tell a story please okay so I went to I like that already I'm in I'm in Is it crime? Is that bonk buster?

What's the genre? The genre is me talking to a very nice therapist. Somber. So she is this wonderful woman that talks like this. I hope she's not listening. She might. And she's one of those people that she never takes notes on another thing. And she always, like, so it's very low bar.

She knows what time I'm seeing and what day and doesn't get confused. That is actually quite impressive to me. and she has this massive, massive diary that's like, it's like, this thick. And she also kind of puts it by her side. And I sort of noticed that. And, you know, just to set the scene, you know, my thing was like, I, for the first two months,

turned up for the wrong time. And then also then got mugged outside the thing. It's basically a lot of chaos was what I was bringing. And I remember her saying to me, like, she was like, well, do you, I won't do the voice? Oh, I'm like, do you think I'm, no, I can't?

Can I commit? Can I commit for Anna? Yes, I will. Do you think I'm an organised person, Stevie? I was like, well, yes, you're like the most organized person. You don't even, I would presume at therapy, there's someone writing, and she remembers things I've said like four years ago. She's like, that time you said it.

And I'm like, what? I don't remember that. And she does it after the event. And she said to me, the reason, the sentiment remains. The reason I'm really organised is because I've put things in place, Stevie. The reason I'm really organised is I've put things in place. So I'm actually an incredibly... It's an organised person.

It's like in a film where they're like German, but they're not. Sometimes. She is not an organised person, but she's put so many things in place that she has become... She's helped herself become an organised person. And I was at the stage where I was just like, oh yeah, that was it.

Well, I did get mugged, and also then the next week I just left my purse on a bus, and I was late, because I was running after the boss for like a mile and just crying. And then, and she was like, why was your person the thing? I was like, well, because I don't have my person anywhere. I just put up the side. She's like, don't. But also as well, like, I'd be like, why do I?

I don't remember times and dates. And she was like, do you have a diary? And I was like, no. You know, like that sort of thing. Do you use your Gmail calendar? No. Like, all this and stuff. Or I would, but I wouldn't use it properly.

And it stuck with me a lot because I was, until I was 28, I would be like, well, I'm I'm mad. I will never remember anything. So that's just, I suppose, oh, here's stupid old me. You know, doing a Stevie used to be shorthand within my friendship group just doing something ridiculous. So it's old me. And actually, my therapist told me, like, it was like, there was no such thing as a disorganized person. No matter how difficult it is to get your life together, every single person needs a different set of tools. And so you can't just walk around being like, I'll remember everything. I remember a time when we were

working out when we were going to meet to write something and you took a napkin and then you wrote like the day on it and then you that was it. And then you're like, I remember. I'm thinking, you won't. But that was also how I was approaching my life and it was that thing where you're like

that's not how it works obviously. So that's my monologue. I think people are applauding and pity. It's not pity. People enjoyed a story and you never think you can tell a good story and everyone was captivated from start to finish. I think that one of the episodes should be how to tell a good story

and, yeah, I can get some confidence there. Thank you very much. Oh, God. I think it's, listen, I don't remember the napkin incident, but I believe it. I once got... You have that diary that had no day or dated it

and she would just, you have to fill in the day and the date, and so she would open it and just write a list of things to do, and you'd be like, but you don't know what day it is? And she'd be like, no. And then the be in this is super pause. And they'd be like, Okay, not bad, absolutely better play.

But terrifying. Once I got a text message that's from a number I did not recognize that said, I'm just in the lobby whenever you're ready. I've gone cold. I was in my house. I was like, unless the lobby is in my living room, I'm late for whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing. I don't know who you are.

I felt physically sick. And I had to, I think I had to. I think I called up and had to be like, I'm sorry, I've just been in a meeting underground, I said. I was like, I'm so sorry, I've just, this has run over and let me get to you now. And also, who are you? And where am I supposed to do?

It was for a job interview. Oh, for God, God. Get it? Did I fuck? But it's like, it's that exactly that of being like, of course you cannot write it on the napkin. Of course you cannot do the thing. Of course it needs to be a really boring.

It's a psychological thing, though, because you are like, well, I shouldn't, I, my thing was like, I shouldn't have to do this. Like other people I know are just so organised. And I shouldn't have to have it like a written document. My thing is that I can't remember things in my phones. I have to write it down. And then rather than just going like, cool, I was like,

that's so stupid I have to write it down. I should be able to do the ICAL. Yeah. Don't do it if you can't do it. You know, like and also being very honest with yourself about the periods of time that are your kind of like, what's the risk points. Yeah.

Like mine is if I'm tired, if I'm hung over or if I'm like on any public transport. Like that is always the time I lose something. And so now, so it started off being like, it's really like, look behind you when you leave. Like, I'm a child. And now, but it's like, no, just do that. Like, it's really a child. Children don't do that and they lose everything.

Children don't have like, you know, their whole bank account and like their debit cards and stuff. In the Thames. In the Thames. The 12th time. But now it's become, like, it's like the habits that you put in place. Now it's become very normal for me to just like, look behind me when I leave. The look behind things. is so massive.

I can't believe that was such a big churning point in our life. This lady's running home. She's like, I've, what? What? I didn't look behind me. I've got to go back in check. Of course, you fucking moron. No, I felt it was more like, the oven's on. Or like,

she's in the lobby. Like somebody just remembered where else they were supposed to be. She's looking behind her in the biggest way. She's gone back to the train. She's gone to find it. But like, the looking behind thing, I do remember the first time someone was like, perhaps you will lose less if you look. And so now I'm literally, I check everything, everywhere I go all the time.

Oh my God, the amount of stuff that you, I mean, often you're just like, just a chair, normal chair, nothing there. But sometimes you're like, my whole purse. Like, oh no. A friend. My friend, yeah. My friend's still there. I forgot them again.

But like it is that of being like, oh, it's so easy to do. And then you're like, oh, okay. here I go. And then write down, like, whatever it is you need to put in place for yourself. The first thing to do is get rid of any of this, like, oh, I shouldn't need it. Why, and I better?

It's like, nobody's good. Nobody's got a rain man mind that can remember everything. Everybody needs help. Everyone needs to look behind themselves all the time. Everybody needs the thing and whatever that is for you. Every time I go home to my parents' house, my mum's written a card on the door

that says, like, don't lock Tessa out for my dad because he'll go to bed and lock all the doors. And so he's got to be like, oh, remember this? Remember this? once he actually forgot I was in the house and I was it's not important but I was sleeping on the ground I just feel like I'm telling it even though it's not important

sleeping on the ground floor and then the car alarm went off outside the house and then my dad above me at his window was like I was like get away from the I've lost interest in the story myself no no you know it's going to happen now we're off of a catma I was like I'm fucking catmate complete it

I was just like, I, so he'd said before there'd been all these robberies and everyone has to be on guard. So he was like, if you're staying down there, be ready in case they come back and try and burgle the car. So I'm sleeping on the ground floor being like, okay, I'm bloody Rambo going to get him. I'm bloody ready, anybody out here. So dutifully, 2 a.m. the car alarm goes off. I'm going to bloody hell. I open the window. I'm like, get away from the car.

I'll bloody get you. Then my dad above, I think he's all joining in with the fight. So he's like, get a hell away, get a hell away. And then I'm like, you get out there. And he's like, who the fuck are you? are you? And he's like, no, who are you? And I'm like, Daddy, it's me.

It's me. So, and then he was like, oh, ha-ha. And I went back to bed. And that has to be more organised. Like, tell people that you're going to be around by. So it's like, of course, just people just, people forget. And there's no shame of being like, you write notes for yourself. You need to write to be like, this is where I'm going this evening.

This is the calendar. This is whatever it is. And it's got to, it can't be the, it can't be calendar. A couple of twigs. Diary. phone, piece of paper that thing where you you know, when you write your appointment on a twig, you know that.

Also, a thing that I hate that works, that really works for me very well, one of my many ex-boyfriends. One, he'd be like, put things in, like, why do you always, when you go out, you just put things in different places all the time, always have like, where your phone goes, real keys goes, and I was like, you're cheating on me,

and I'm making somebody to listen to you. But actually, tough, tough. a man that treats he knows how to be organised because he has to be. And far banalise the women in his bag. Anyway, but I bought myself a bag that, okay, fine, now I've not done it, because I was having a big day today. But normally, I know that my phone, for example,

always goes in my pocket and my purse, which I don't really need as much because you know you've got your contacts, but it always goes in my zip thing. And my makeup bag always goes in that thing. And you've got your place in your pocket. your bag and also as well using the same bag regularly so you're like this is where my, I've got like a key hook

now which I mean again whenever I do these like like life things I'm like every you're just being like yes what is wrong with you but like you know like in a film when they kind of come in they always put their keys in the key bowl it must be a reason for that

and it can't be dramatic because it's boring and it is organisation but having a thing for every having a place for everything look at this I Oh, I'm breathless. It's a card pouch, you know what I mean? He's a friend.

He's a friend and also is male. What's wrong with him? And we hate mail. It's just like we don't like to make gender stereotypes. Of course, but it is unfortunate that the things that you're like, it was a man did help with the compartmentalizing. A man did help. Yeah, sometimes men are very practical.

Yeah, and it's like, and it is unfortunate that you're like, oh, but I don't want that to be true. But it is in this. an unfortunate case. My track record of phone cases are that one that looked like diamonds. That one that looked like marble. One that looked like a big cow.

One that looks like a rainbow. Also for a while you were like, I don't believe in phone cases. And I was like, but what if your phone breaks? You're like, the Lord. The Lord will let it happen. You're like, well, okay, that is $150 for the Lord. Not for me, because I'm getting mine repaired

every time it smashed down the back alley with a man round my... And then it then breaks after a year because you can't use the actual screen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I went to see this man down the back alley so often that he fixed my phone. Then he gave me this, and he was like,

I don't want to see you in here again. And then I was like, that's the most boring. That won't stop your phone breaking. I was going to make that very clear to you. Sorry, it is a nice, it is... It's a hardy boy. Then he put on it the thing on the front. I was like, I don't like that.

It doesn't look as shiny. He would just stand into my eyes and was like, I don't want to see you in here. again. He put the cover on. He put this durable case. Even if you drop it, it doesn't smash. And it's got this thing in the back for your cards. So now it's like, here, I'm ready

to go. And it does, you just keep one debit card in there, there it is, I know where it is. And when I looked out, I was like, that's the most boring thing I've ever seen in my life. I don't want that one with diamonds. And then he was like, no, you're having this. I don't want to see you again. And lo and behold, I haven't been in to see him again. Furious. I'm absolutely furious about it. It is furious. It's infuriating.

It's infuriating to be organized, but because then you're like, oh, I really wasted a lot of time. Yes. Because now I'm like, oh, that is better. It's a bit of fun, though. It's not, but it's a bit of fun when I remember what I was like, for example, like, you know, we'd go out on a night out and I'd be like, great night out. And I was like, it wasn't because you cried,

and you couldn't find your bag on all your possessions, and you have to go home to someone. And then you found it in a tree. Like, you know, and climate tree. Why did the tree happen? I remember that great night out, and I was just crying on all fours. Crying on all fours. I'm lost in a thing.

Have a bad night. Stevie. or a great night and then they'd like Kanye West night and they got up like a shop and was having a great dance but all the things were lost they all were lost

and one time you see we lost the keys and we were in the flat we were in the flat and we didn't have any couldn't get in the flat and then when we found them she was like I didn't have them

and we were like we think you did it was in your pocket and I'll tell you right now live it was in my pocket it was in your pocket and she swore blind for three days she didn't have them

and then we had to go while she was asleep we went through our clothes and they were in her pocket. You are, yeah. Well, what was in your rights? Not fair. And one time they were outside the bathroom window

on the ledge outside the house. We were like, how did you even get them out there? I'd had a cigarette and I'd try to smoke my own keys and then I'd put them out on the... Anyway, it's fine. It's fine. Extreme situations. But the...

So me and my sister are both very similar, but Gina hasn't quite figured out the things in place. So she's like me, but without the things in place. So I'm like, I'm so rigid about these things now. And one of the things that I found very helpful is putting things on other things. So, for example, you know, like for,

I've come off the pill now. I don't you know about it. Oh, that's it. And also, very apt. I don't know how. Just because I was like, I've been on for 10 years, bored of it, do I mean? I was bored of that.

But for ages, Gina was struggling to When I looked at Gina's like, you know, Monday to Friday pill packet, it was like, it looked like, it was just, it was stressed me out and her boyfriend put the on the toothbrush, just put it on the pill packet next to your teeth. So then

then you're always going to see it. And I always feel like that with getting ready for something the next day, you put the things, you're like, oh, I'm going to forget that. There they go. That's where you've got it. We used to call it the wizard. Do you remember? It was like, my wizard is saying, you're going to forget that. You go, your wizard's fine.

Don't worry, mate. I'll remember it. No, you've got to listen to your wizard in the moment it speaks. You're wizard, and I will just walk everyone through the concept of your wizard. Yeah, sorry, I'll trade in joking. You know, your wizard, they'll get it. It's a wizard. Do you get it? No. Your wizard is, like, your gut feeling or the moment inside you. You got wizard.

It's your gut, basically, that you have like, it's not really a conscious thought, but it's like, oh, sometimes you see it in someone's eyes. You're like, I don't think they've going to remember that. I should remind them. I should remind them, but you think, oh, I won't. That seems rude. I won't say anything. But you're, and then, so the thing about the wizard is like, if you hadn't even, so say that you left the house and you're like, and your wizard was like, oh, the keys. And you're like, no, no, no, it's fine. And then when it does happen, you're like, fuck, if you hadn't even thought about it, you'd be like, oh, that's annoying, but what a surprise. When your wizard is like, your wizard stood there, it's like, Gandalf, like, hands on hits being like, I fucking said. I fucking told you. So then you're like, oh, it's more crossmaking because my gut said, my wizard said. And so now, and so therefore we could use each other to be like, listen, I'm not saying anything. But my. But my. My wizard is just checking that you know where the keys are.

My wizard is just saying this. You've just got to be much more in tune with your wizard and be like, okay, let's place those things there. Listen, we've never told anyone about the wizard before. I think it's not gone down before. No, it's not. I think it's as relatable as well. We were right not to tell people, I think, about the wizard.

But now, every time you go, oh, I should put that there and then you don't, you'll now visualize a wizard. And isn't that nice than just being like, I'm an idiot for not thinking about it. You're like, wasn't me. It was this wizard over here. It's what I'm just like saying. So your wizard does know loads of things.

And often your wizard is literally like semiforing to you. Being like, this, obviously this thing. And you're like, nah, nah, nah. The pill thing. Once we did a show when a very, we were all in a backstage and a lady on stage made a joke about the pill. I don't remember. It was something about forgetting the pill.

And then backstage, about 15 women went, oh my God. And then like, everyone was like, my pill. And I like, everyone was just scrabbling in bags on the floor. You do, it's so easy, and so it's like, there it goes by the pill, by the toothbrushes, there it is, this is my day just like laid out for me. I think with so much of this, you've just got to be,

like, you have got to be your own manager and you've just got to step back yourself from the situation and be like, okay, what does this person need? Wear a Stevie's clothes, wear Stevie's stuff. Pretend you're your own PA. Your own PA. Because your own personal PA will understand the sort of different, the rhythms of each person.

Because, you know, you can be, for example, a very messy person, but you're actually very organised about your time. or everyone has like their own disorganised thing that they're like oh i can never get that right and your pa would know that and would also be like this is a this is a weak point of yours so don't worry i've got it i've got it yeah and it's so it's so difficult to be very honest with yourself by what you're disorganized about because a lot of us will go around like having an idea of what we're like and what we want to be like you know and some of us don't want to be like oh yeah i'm shit with

this or like i'm like often it's to do things to do with yourself because that's boring isn't like being very organised about birthdays and like other people say great then you just forget to do anything for yourself that's always really difficult so it's very yeah it's very easy to kind of pretend I'm a very organised person but actually when it comes down to it

you're not with yourself and your own thing just taking care of yourself and being like and the night what I've taken to doing is like the night before making myself a list for the next day and I sort of sit up in bed with my little glasses on and I'm like my monocle or just the one

works for her you know and I write up my little list. I'm like, this is everything for tomorrow. Here's the plan. I look at yesterday's. And I'm like, what did we not achieve? Several things. Put them over to today. And then here's my plan. What are we having for breakfast? What's the, you know, what's the, what's the schedule? Champ. Being really specific about it. So like, do some work. Work between nine and, and 12. Specifically, how much work are we going to get done? What are we doing? And you can't just write, like, do everything. You know, like, well, no. If you were doing it for someone else, you'd know

that like, that's impossible. They're not going to be able to do everything. Don't put that enormous task on yourself be like I can feasibly do this amount of stuff in one hour. I can't just do everything and I'm just setting myself up for endless failure if it's like, why haven't you done it? Why haven't you done it? Why haven't you done it? It's like because it's too much too much for one little person please.

I'll tell you what I'm trying to be because I think it's all sort of wrapped up in like being overwhelmed and not having too much stuff to do I'd tell you a little thing I have started doing which is from a squid game. Okay. It's shooting people that I'm in debt.

So I trust everyone who wishes to see Squid Game has seen it. There's better be no spoilers. There's no spoilers here, but I think we all know enough to be like, there will be games and it will be bad. Okay? That's enough. That's all you need to know.

That's as much as I'm going to say. But what I have started doing is... So I get ever so overwhelmed by the dishes, and I sometimes I'll like do a bit and then I'll just like stare out of the window for ages. And then I'll be like, whoa, it's me. And then I'll like lie down. It'll take me hours.

I'm just like, oh, the dishes. The other day, I was like, okay, here's the dishes. I put the stopwatch on for five minutes. I played the blue Danube song, which is the song they play in Squid Game. When they're going there. Yeah, I can't sing, but you know it. And I pretended that I was in the game and I was going to... You're going to be shot.

And I pretended they were all with me. And I came into the game room and they were like, you have five minutes to do the dishes or you will be eliminated I was like yeah and I did it and I thought I was like I'm not going to actually make it there's no way but oh my God I was so fast

I looked at the thing and I had an I had a minute to spare and so for doing your fast like to doing your things that you're like just do it and this is the thing I was going to sidebar into is something I really love is this thing called the two minute rule oh please I know we've discussed it for but long

time listeners, we've discussed it in the past. It is that if you take... The two minute rule. The two minute rule is if it takes less than two minutes, then do it right now. And that is from David Allen in his bestselling book, getting things done. Just do it, go right now, fast as you can. Job done. Squidgay. That's the rest of the title of this book. The second part is from James Clear in Atomic Habits.

And so the second part is that if it takes more than two minutes, just do two minutes of the task. and he says in atomic habits it's all about getting into the habit of just showing up and starting so if doing the dishes is overwhelming just wash one bowl if folding the laundry is too much fold one pair of socks

and then plus chances are you discover it actually wasn't as hard as you thought and once you've started you might as well do a little bit more than two minutes and then oh whoops it's finished and I said that's an occasional bonus but not the goal the goal is to truly look at things in tiny two minute tasks and tackle them that way

I think it's such a when we learned that years ago and it's something that we do all the time of being like, just do two minutes of it because sometimes you get so overwhelmed and everything. It's like, can I do a tiny little bit? Can I do a tiny bit of my tax return? Can I just do a tiny little bit of something that you've been putting off?

Can I, you know, that you're like, oh, that's too big a task? But is it too big when you actually, when you get in there? Yeah, but one of the best tips that you ever told me on the podcast because I'm like, oh, it really does work. And also it works for everything if you're like, I mean, obviously it sounds funny,

it was like, I just folded some socks. Jesus Christ, I was easy than I thought. We all know what that feels like. But bigger tasks. It works very well. Bigger tasks. And honestly, I swear to go to like five minutes. It's so much.

You can do so much if you really are against the clock and you think you might get shot. You think you can do stuff, baby. My mom actually listens to the Inception soundtrack, which is a very sort of tense, Christopher Nolan film, while she's sort of doing ironing. So it just feels like she hasn't done much quicker.

Exactly. It does work. It does work. So it's like, you know, let's go. Let's do it. Let's go. And I lose a lot of reusable water bottles. I have. So I've attached the top of my new one

to my bag and now it's not going anywhere. Yeah, that is actually a very good point. Say the next bit. Oh no. Yeah. Unfortunately, the I'm like, okay. Yes, so I do lose a lot of reusable water bottles. I've attached to the top of my new one to my bag and now it's not going anywhere.

Unfortunately, the attachment is quite short. This is true. So when I hydrate, it looks like I'm trying to eat my own back pan. And that's on me and my inability to differentiate centimeters from millimeters when reading product dimensions. Yeah, that is... Yeah, that's actually very good overview of the book

it's me going absolutely top tip I can't read you must get find my iPhone I tell you this because everyone's got that oh fine yeah no no they haven't I'm so sorry right you know what I lost mine in the house the other day

and it was on silent I lost it for hours and I was like I think having a stroke like where is it and I couldn't call it because it was silent I did find my iPhone and I was like oh my god make sound so I could see it was in the house make sound it was in the fridge What sound did it make?

Hey, baby Hey baby, I'm in your fridge I'm quite cold Why I'm in the fucking fridge Why have you put me here? What were you thinking? Bye the pottermeats. So, I feel almost embarrassed

To say the words, Hope I helped. I feel like Brightner and incredibly organised crowd And I feel incredibly embarrassed For all of the things I've said Whereas normally, I was just me and Tessa in a room

We're like, yeah, I am. Relatable. Not, is it? It's not. She says crazy things to me and I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Matt, do you want to hear what I did? And then when we tell it to you, people are like, what the fuck is wrong with you? So you do a podcast about that, right, do you? Attach things to other things, write it down. That's what you've come all the way to Brighton, to tell us. Use your eye, cow. Start a timer and pretend you're going to get shot. What's the wrong with you?

The thing is, like, we really, really had to go through it. Yeah. I really didn't know. And also, if I listen to this podcast, I'd be like, this is really helpful. I'll leave having been helped. And that's all right, bad things I've said. So maybe not you, Brighton, but maybe anybody listening at home,

we hope that this was... There's only one chapter in the book, the rest of it, absolutely blinding. Yeah. And we do say that in the beginning of being like, some chapters, you'll be like, what the fuck is this? And sometimes you'll get to another one and be like, okay, useful actually.

You know what? I was reading. How to leave a WhatsApp group is a very good chapter, isn't it? Most of them are useful. Bleed and radiator? Useful. You know, there's good stuff in there. But I hope, I hope it was helpful. I hope it, if you are feeling you're not an organised person, clearly none of you.

But if you are feeling you are unorganized. I hope it helps you. Yeah, of course. I hope anyone listening at home feels more organised by it. I hope anyone here is like, it feels at least better about themselves. Yeah. And when you go home today and like do your things nicely and normally and like put your clothes out like a grown-up, you're like, wow, smashing this actually.

Absolutely smashing it. Bring us home, ringleader. Okay. Please do follow... Ringmaster. Ringmaster. Do follow us at No Depanick Pod and you've got an episode suggestion

because you're like, what was that? You can email us. Nameda Dependentac Podcast at gmail.com. And also just live your lives, people are organised. And thank you so much for listening tonight. And thank you so much a comedian Comedia with the K

for joining us and not being too judgmental when you really could have been. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you.