Nobody Panic - How to Be More Stylish on a Budget

Episode Date: February 25, 2020

Tessa wears all her clothes at once. Stevie is frightened of colours and once wore a pussy bow so big she couldn’t complete an exam. They have trawled the internet for hot tips on how to look chic on a budget and lots of the tips are things like “invest in a good trouser” which doesn’t help when you’re broke, so they’ve gone rogue. Tessa’s tips mainly involve epaulets. Enjoy.Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive Productions.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Follow Nobody Panic on Twitter @NobodyPanicPodSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true, Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Hello. Hello. I'm with me, Stevie. Me, Tessa. Hello, how are you? How are you going? Are you looking stylish today?

Are you feeling fine? You're feeling fine. You look fantastic. Can I just say your hair looks amazing. Today we're doing How to Be Stylish on a budget. I've also brought some fun tips from How to Be Stylish in 15th Century Europe. Thank God. That I'll be peppering throughout in case it gets a bit too like, boring. It doesn't get you tired of me at any point. Just always remember those tips are coming. Those tips are coming.

And they are mad. You're but moments away from a yet another tip. Now, is this mean to say, we're not known for a fashion acumen? You know what I mean? Like, if you had to describe either of us in like five words, I think maybe the sixth would be stylish. Sure, it wouldn't enter the top five. Absolutely.

I don't think it would even enter the top 30 for me. And I would say, would it be in your top 10? And I actually think you're doing a self as a service and people would say you're very stylish. That's very, I wasn't expecting that. I don't know how to respond. People, honestly, you were very, you bet a lot of pieces and people are very...

Pieces. Well, this just... Well, obviously I'll be the expert. Yes. So our resident expert is Stevie. Great. Honestly, you wear like a leopard print. You throw on like that jumper that's got the big, those big,

baubles on it. Okay. You wore a lot of chokers in 2015. I mean, it doesn't sound like I'm stylish from this description, but yeah, the bobble jumper with my... I think, the first thing will be like, stylish does not mean a pixie cut and a Breton stripe. Oh, yes.

And a cigarette. And a cigarette panned and a exposed ankle and a loafer. It stylish does not mean... It sounds quite stylish. It looks good. Ooh. Yeah, it's delicious. So it looks like...

Slice does not mean Audrey Hepburn. No, this is true. So I'm saying just because you're like, I don't know what stylish because I don't wear a breton and a capri. But I think you are stylish. That's very... Well, there we go. So that's done. Just be yourself.

Although, I suppose, be yourself. But I have gone through phases where I wasn't stylish because I was just wearing like... went through a period of time where I wore a lot of tunics with like big bows. I looked like a lawyer. A pussy bow. A pussy, like a massive, gigantic pussy bow, yeah. A tunic with a pussy muck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What phase was this? The legal phase. When you became with that. Well, I just thought I might take a bar. To be fair to me, big bows were very, had a very short life around 2007-2008. However, I don't think anyone was pairing them with a tunic.

And my issue was that I didn't have any test. So I would like go to a charity shop and be like, well, it's got a big bow and I'll wear it. There was a period of time where everyone dressed like a very old woman from the Victorian times. And I was like, I guess that's what I'm doing now too. And it was never really me. And I think over the last like maybe five, actually someone said, I think quite detrimentally. They didn't mean it as a compliment. A friend said recently like, I've never seen anyone change what they wear.

I have such like a U-turn because he used to wear like heels and dresses and now you dress like a sort of boy. And I was like, okay, but I like it. Yeah. I feel comfortable. I feel like it's very me. And also I can dress up or dress up on my manual air on the casual side of things. And I'm not drowning in bows. I couldn't see over my own bow at one point.

No. I was doing an exam at uni and I leant forward and my bow leant forward and I couldn't see the paper. That was genuine. And I had to get a clip out of my hair and clip my bow to the top of my top because I couldn't, I would have failed. The bar. I would have failed the bar. I've just thought of something. brilliant. I think this is the best way to determine what your own personal style is.

Okay. Someone's thrown you a party. You throw in your own party. And the theme is, Stevie. The theme is come dressed as Stevie. Oh, wow. Okay. What's everyone wearing? Well, you have to tell me that because I don't know. I know what. I think you... Go on then, but I think I'm confident of mine. I think I'm confident for you. Okay. So Tess's would be hair down, very sort of like... But fun up. Fun up or hair down. No, hair down. And very like, the vibe is very much like oh what this old thing and you've just sort of arrived

and it's very much like it feels like you've maybe not put any F in but it all looks matching but what is it? It is a lovely sort of a long-sleeved dress that has got like a very tasteful pattern

so it's not over the top it's not like got like Tukens on it or something it's maybe like a stripe or a very small polka dot so maybe a big dot Maybe. Could be. A medium, but never a big. Never massive.

No. I guess she thinks she's fun because of the size of her dots. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. I would never wear a big dot. Probably some sort of quite cool trainers because you wear good trainers now. And, oh yes, little tiny necklace with a lovely, delicate little pendant like a wolf. Yes. Don't think rings. No, no rings. A bobble on the hand. In case you need to transition from, oh, hello, to like, and now we're on.

Or eating. Or eating. Now we're eating. Of course, now we're eating. And minimal makeup, but like, fresh. And your socks don't match. Oh, my God. This is fantastic. But, like, very good and, like, low maintenance.

But I always had a lot of, like, prairie work. Like, a lot of... I think that's old Tessa. Old Tessa, you dress like Little House in the Prairie, but also wearing 17 hoodies and a dress and some trousers. Yeah. Oh, thank you. You think I've... My game.

Oh, 100%. Oh, thank you so much. That's so, so kind. It all matches. Okay, thank you. And it looks like you're not wearing, like, a lot of other people's clothes on your body. Oh, thank you. Like, you've not taken other people, everyone's closed in the room and worn them.

You're now like, I've just thrown this old thing on, but the thing is quite a nice thing. Oh, very simple. Great. Yours would be, I would contour. Oh, my God. If I was in a desert island and I could only take one piece of makeup, it would be my contouring kit. And then I'd have like a slicked hair. Oh, I do love a slick hair.

And I'd wear a choker as a mere homage. A mere homage to 2015. Because they were there every day. They were. Stevie was like that girl. I'd like 17 chokers. So many chokers and she was like that girl in that horror story where they get married and he's like, why do you wear that ribbon?

And she's like, I'll never tell you. And then on their wedding night she takes over and her head drops off. Yes. That was Stevie. That was the look I was going for. And then I would wear like a Lawrence-Lewan bowen shirt with like a big white crisp collar and a thing. And then a jumper on top that would have just any like some something big on it.

Okay. And then trow is open. And then a very little. very big boot. But when you were like, I wouldn't dream of wearing a tukin, I would put like a cool brooch on or like a powerful, I have several powerful extra pieces. Oh my God. Wow. Thank you. Well, we're going to dive in and really learn and really learn some stuff. Before we do that, yeah, we should do what adult thing we've done this week. Okay, I've got my adult thing. Hit me with a big boy. I'm actually excited to tell you about it. Oh my God, great. Okay. Remember a while ago my adult thing was that I had a drunk late at night signed up for an intolerance test where you send your hair off and then I, my adult thing was I had a pile of my own hair. in my bag. Yes. Yes. Anyway, it's ended off.

I've got the results back. Oh, yeah. Anything over that you're 90% intolerant to you get in a little list. I mean, I'm just going to guess things that you've thrown up after eating. Sure. Wheat. 100% intolerant. Oh, 100%.

Well, that's not a surprise is it. I'm going to go rogue and I'm going to say cow's milk. Holy shit. Yep. Yep. I'm also going to say 96 for cows milk. Wine? Stevie Martin.

Yes. Right. 100%. Now, how did you know that? Because they're the three that I got and I'm not sure of the validity of these Test. But also, I think, no, no, I think if you are allergic to wheat and milk, then I think there's obviously something to do with the fermenting process that is in wine that is the same. So there's something to do with the fermenting that will hurt your tummy. I can understand that. But now let's get in deep. Okay, wow, okay. This is actually what came in number one. So cruel. Mozilla. Oh, no.

Avocado. Oh, come on. This is my main diet, mozzarella and avocado. And then this made me laugh. And then blackberries. Whoa. Molasses. Okay. Mutton I loved so much Who eats mutton Well I suppose

And I was like Mutton Oh not mutton And then goose feathers Sorry You can't eat your pillow I can't eat my pillow

These are things I can't touch In the non-food intolerance Your classics So you goose You're golden hamsters And your dandelion I'm a delicate lady Well you did that

How to Peelette I would not have survived Almost any era preen out 15th century Europe. I would, oh, since in Central Europe, I've been down and out. I've been out. I wouldn't have even made it to making my fashion statements

because I would have been just dead of consumption. Unless I had been like in court or something and my pale demeanour had been like a selling point. Oh no, I mean your pale demeanour would have been massive selling point. Do you think so? Yes, the problem is you're like shitting yourself. It's a pale ghost who comes in, makes a joke to the corner shits. Oh God.

Okay, you got one. I laundered a tote bag. That's what I did. In the laundry? Yeah. Or you sold it for cash money. Oh, yes. No, I've got a laundering business through my tote bag business. No, I just was like, I've got one tote. I've got like, I've got a million tote bags.

I've got one that I'm like, yeah, I'm proud to wear that. Or it doesn't look like I've blown my nose on something and I'm using it as a bag. This one's got quite a nice pattern, but I use it to carry my lunch in. Oh, there's pesto oil on it. Oh, there's balsamic vinegar. It splattered all over it. I laundered it, came out, it worked. I'm now using it. Like, it's very boring, but that's what being an adult is, as we've said, time and time again. It can't all be am allergic to mutton.

let's get into being stylish so um if if it's okay with you i'm going to alternate my tips so you're going to get a tip from a really good i found a really good article there was like ways to make cheap clothes look um stylish because i don't know it's only thing i even said this in the introduction it's on a budget guys because everyone can be stylish when you have money i'm sorry kim Kardashian she is a listener but like you know you don't need you can buy taste and I know people say money can't buy taste, you can buy a stylist who has taste, and then that stylist puts you in things that, you know, is great. Unfortunately, with a lot of these articles when we're doing my heavy research,

they all start with things like, go to a tailor. You're like, again, it's on a budget. So, or like, invest in, no, stop telling me to invest. I'm like, we're not going to do any of those. Yeah, invest in a... I was in my ass, that's what I said when I read that. Invest in a statement blazer and get a good tailor. Yeah, like, get a good tailor.

As though your own tailor was just like a back alley tailor. So my first tip is ignore people that say, invest in a good. Because if you've not got any money and you want to be stylish, I remember that feeling so well because now obviously I'm loaded. No, but I remember feeling like I couldn't even afford, I couldn't even afford like charity shop stuff or Primark stuff. I just had the things that I had. And it was like, well, this can't possibly look anything other than quite tired, old, cheap clothes that I have.

But none of them go together. So here is my tip number one. Ready. The thing is a hot tip. If you've got some time and you've got some twine. Oh my God. Place the buttons. Yours or mine.

Wow. Now, the problem with cheap clothes often I've discovered is your buttons fly off. The buttons look crap. They are uniform buttons that are just rubbish. Or they're fine, but you can make them look even classier by getting some nice buttons, go into a button store. So if you've got like a dress or you've got like a tartan dress, thing that was from Primark like 20 years ago, but it's so comfy. And I've, oh, my mom helped me

replace some of the buttons. I couldn't do all of the buttons. So we alternated with like these cool buttons and then normal buttons. And then it just looks like, oh, that's Prada. I mean, I don't know. And also, great idea. You can harvest them from old clothes that don't work. So if you've got like an old shirt or something, all the buttons are falling off apart from two, but the good old buttons, pop them on. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, agreed. Agreeing, we're all agreeing. You can transfer buttons over. You can do whatever you like.

Time for your tip. Here it comes. I meant to say, the devil's in the detail, but what I've written here is, the detail is the detail. In a way, you're right. The detail is the detail. Back to you.

Thank you. Tiny little, sometimes you will see a person. Yes. Or you'll see an item and you'll be like, oh my God, I love it. And it's like, do you love it or do you just love this tiny button or this little brooch or this little bit or the fact that it's got?

You know someone sometimes. time someone's like, and the lining is pink. And you're like, well, you can't see that on the outside. True. You know, it's a, it's twofold this. One is don't get yourself distracted into buying things that have one tiny detail. Oh, right. It's very much coming from, you've struggled with this. This is a thing. Very much so. And I've come home. You get very excited about detail and then you've bought something that doesn't fit. You haven't tried it on and it's not actually for wearing. And then people were like, why we done that? I'll be like, but look at this tiny dog, you know? So that's number one. It's a, it's a double-edged sword, this detail issue. Don't you

let yourself buy things because of the detail, but do update the things you already have with a little detail. Oh, wow. God, that's really confused. I know. I'm so sorry. No, but it's also quite nice. So the devil is in the detail. Detail is detail. Okay. Just some hot fashion tips coming straight out of you from the fashion podcast, nobody panic. The devil is in the detail, but the detail is also in the detail and it can be the devil if you, if you let it. So it's like, do not buy things that don't, in the shops, don't. Don't. let yourself get distracted, but do they like, oh, and like take that knowledge home? Don't be like rubbish just because it's got like a fun cough.

But do be like, oh, okay, can I update the things I already have with a little thing? So, you know, like if you've got, I don't know. Please say spare epaulets. Because she's, she's touching your shoulders and I feel like she can say spare army of epaulets. It was about epaulets, yes. They're the little things that go on your shoulders, that no one has spare of it. It was about our friend Joy, who I would say is the most stylish person. Covered in epaulettes.

I've covered an epaulapse. Can't move from it. Epileps as far as the eye can see. No, the first time I met her, she had this amazing coat with these fantastic diamond bits on her epaulettes. And I was like, oh my God, I love your coat. And she was like, thanks.

I did this myself. I made these. She made the little epaulapse. Yeah, she made the epaulapse. And it made the, so I didn't actually love the coat. I loved those, I mean, this coat was very cool. But it made it be like, oh, that's been upgraded a million percent. Do you recall Sherlock with Benedict Cumberbatch?

Yeah. Yes. Everyone. Here we go. I've got more like actual tips in a minute. Yeah, we all got more actual tips. Have you seen Sherlock first? But I don't know if you've ever seen, Benedict come back to Sherlock. Yes, he's always a very good trench coat.

Okay. And the trench coat had around this top button, it was in brought, had a red bit around here. Oh, she's pointing to like the, I guess, upper breast. Where you may put your flower. If you had a blazer on you put your little flower, yeah. Yeah. So in that button, if you look up, Betterdick, Humberdatch's fantastic trench coat. It was also embroidered with red around this one buttonhole.

Oh, good Lord. It was just so cool. And in looking up the coat, I've read an interview with so deep. Why was I looking at up? You're just obsessed with that buttonhole for a day. I was, yeah. I was at the time working for a website that was... Buttonhole.com. Buttonhole.com. You needed to keep a breast of the news. A breast pocket of the news. Yes, I did. I was working for a website that salt was like selling stuff that was like where can you find the stuff that's on screen? Looks a bit like this.

And I was like, well, how are we going to find this red buttonhole? Turns out the fashion, the costume design had just so embroidered a bit of red around it. Good God. Right? But it had gone from being like a very classy trench coat being like, ho. Ho-wee. Ho-wee. And it was just the addition of this tiny bit of like.

So same with coats. So however you want to say it. Appellettes. Yeah. Shoulder hat. Buttonhole. Brilliant. Then also, I know you mentioned lining before as in like very dismissively, which I completely

understand, but you can line a coat relatively easily. And also, it doesn't cost a lot of money to get it lined, but also, like, I've got a friend who has a sewing machine, basically I had this like coat, it was fine. I wanted a new coat, couldn't afford it. Instead, I lined it. And then when you walk it along the street, your little coats flap in, and people spot a good lining, all expensive coats have nice lining. All cheap coats don't really have any lining. So it's a really, so that's like another thing that if you're really like I just feel like this coat is tired and rub it like and a coat is something that you probably should focus on

if you're trying to be stylish on a budget because you wear the coat over your clothes anyways you make sure you've got your coat sorted if you only have a bit of money and you only have one piece to invest in make a top hat on your shoulder embroidered the buttonhole and line it with a weird colour that you don't like and you're off these are sort of tips you should expect

if you were actually listening to some fashion tips. My mum has a fantastic coat that Grandma bought her in 1994. This is the thing, isn't it? And mum wears it every Christmas to any smart event and doesn't really put anything underneath. She doesn't take a coat off. She's just nude. No, no, she's not nude, though.

She has gone out in her pyjamas. We went to midnight mass and she went in her pajamas plus this coat and everyone was like, Debbie. You look astonishing. Look astonishing. And she does look like, honestly, she looks like she's in the, like, Rush Imperial Zah. Charity shops are incredible. I think I've only ever bought coats from Charity Shop.

because they are, you can get like an excellent, like leopard print fur coat or something, not really. Or something, could be. Or something, whatever, it happens to be. Whatever happens to be. Like, cool denim jackets. Several. I own like 20,000, faux fur coats.

Yeah, get it from the cherry shop. Line it. They're like 10 pounds. Get that epa let on. Get the epa on. Put a, wear a top hat. Interesting fact for if you want to keep clothes, you've bought, you know, you've only, you can only buy cheap clothes.

You've bought a white shirt, anything. If you wash it loads, cheap clothes look crap. Actually, to be honest, if I'm honest, all clothes. Everything does. Yeah. You're probably washing your clothes too much. I definitely wash my clothes too much. Because when I wear a t-shirt, I'm like, and it's done.

It's like, check if it's done. Because you can do more like spot cleaning and things like that. So, you know, I'm constantly covered an egg. As a vegan, how does it get there? Because I eat eggs. Egg and tomato sauce constantly. And I just throw it in the wash whenever it's got tomato sauce. Don't do that.

Then you're saving on your bills. And you're also saving on your t-shirt. And saving the planet. I think saving the planet. So you've got your sponge and you've got like, the best thing to spot clean with is washing up liquid because it cuts through grease, because it cuts through grease. I'm sponsored by washing up liquid.

I've tired of this now. I'd like a fact. Oh, right, great. I was like, oh. You're absolutely horrified. I was so horrified. Okay, now let's get to the real facts. Fashion in 15th century Europe, as you'll know,

you've got your voluminous robe, the hoopelonde, with sweeping floor-length sleeves. So the top tip is, if you're still, Sleeves aren't dragging on the floor. Who even are you? You're a bore. Hats, hoods and other headdresses, as we all know, massively important. Must be draped, jeweled and feathered.

Draped, jeweled and feathered. So if you're on a budget, I can't help you. That's my tip. Wow. Sleeves on the floor, draped jewel and feather your headdress. We're talking fascinators people, but big time. They're big. Oh, yeah, yeah.

But much bigger. Hood hat and headdress. If you wore all three, you were working it. Because, yeah, it was the more the merrier. And by that, by that I mean, the more of everything, the merrier. I think what we can learn from that is merely that fashion is sort of intangible

and pointless. And pointless and moves with the times. And therefore, wear whatever the hell you think looks nice. I agree. And also, but I'm supposed to say, I agree. But also don't, if you're as well, the thing that I struggled with as well and the thing that a lot of people don't,

like, you know when you read those things about how to be fashionable, they never say like, just wear one color. Like, just wear all black. If you're going to do it at the thing and you're like, I don't know, like I don't feel just wear all black and then you look like you're very well put together. You've put some thought into it. I know it's very boring, but sometimes needs must

and sometimes you have no time. And the one giveaway, if you are trying to look stylish on a budget, the one giveaway that you've not really put any thought in is if you're wearing every single colour in the entire world and it looks like you didn't know what you were doing. You've got to always try and look like you know what you're doing. So whether that is a shoulder top hat or your kind of colours, and less is more in terms of things like,

because accessories, things like that, like, I would wear like a million different, like, I'd be wearing bracelets, I'd be having, like, chokers, I'd be having, I'd probably popped a fascinator on at some point. I've seen him on yet. They're talking, ankleets. We're talking, because to try and distract from the fact that, like, my dress wasn't like, right? Or it's like, I'm wearing, like, the same thing. And accessories are really great because you can wear the same dress, like, a million times.

If you put, like, some coloured tights on or you put black tights on, Like it looks immediately different. But you don't have to go apps. You have to wear everything on at once. There's that like Coco Chanel thing was that before she was leaving, she looked in the mirror and the first thing she saw, she took off. Oh, wow. Wow.

Shouldn't command that much attention. And also charity shops for bags. Good, good bag, fun bag. Have as many cool bags as you like because the bags are like two pounds. And you can get like, you know, those like little, like, I'm talking about going out bags, not like your daily satchel. Because then if you've got like a wide array of, bags. Who cares if you're wearing the same black dress every time you go out? You've got a fun

bag. You're saying like an evening clutch. An evening clutch. Um, uh, yes. Like a long, long, strap boys. Is that what we call? That's what we call them. Longstrap boys. Long boys. Long boys, big boys. They are always in the charity shops and they're always in fairly good quality because they don't get a lot of use. They don't get a lot of love. They don't get a lot of love. They don't go out very often. Yeah. And then you've got your coat. You've got your bag. Who gives a shit what you're wearing underneath. Um, don't, uh, do be very careful. Although with charity shop shoes. I will say that because I was very much like, yeah, great!

And I really ruined my feet because I was wearing, because they are charity shop shoes, they have been worn by the same foot for a long time so they got used to their indentation. And then it will rub and it will kind of affect your gait. Yes, plus you'll find lovely vintage ones, but women

famously had size one feet. Everyone had size one feet. And you'll feel like an ugly sister trying to squeeze your foot in. Yes, like in the Disney film and then it shoots off a foot. Exactly right. That's how I feel every time I...

But yeah, keeping it simple, I think is the crucial thing to look in stylish without trying, without loads of money. The simply you are, the more you look like, I just threw this on. And then the final thing is something that I still haven't done is by... I know it does involve buying, but buy a steamer. Or if you have an iron, use it. because I didn't ever iron it. I never iron anything.

And I'm always like, why when I met parties in them taking it? Do I look like I've rolled down from a bin? And I've discovered it's because my t-shirt is always wrinkly. Incredible. Rich people have everything dry cleaned and it always looks like so, and they have like an amazing water. And then it hangs. It hangs up.

But you don't need to be a rich person to have to hang your clothes up. Oh, I mean, yeah, but there are some clothes that don't. I'm just saying you need some self-respect. Okay. And I'm saying, get some self-respect. Iron your damn clothes and hang it up. Because if you pick them off the floor, like no matter how nice they are, they look terrible.

They'll look like him off the floor. And if you have, I've got this wonderful black, very, very sort of billowing dress that does make me look like a reference and I will defend it till the death. And it wrinkles like at the moment you take it out of the laundry. Don't have a steamer, don't have an iron. Hung it up next to my shower, had a very long shower or just a normal sized shower. Or if you've got flatmates, tell everyone, when we're all have a morning showers, I'm, that's there.

Just so you know, I'm, you know, so they don't like, I don't know, throw toothpaste on it or whatever. And then you can have like, yeah, then it's steaming and then it,

all the wrinkles drop and then you look like a steam woman. Right? Which is number one. Make your own steam. Be a steam woman. It's so crucial. You've got to look,

you've got to try and look as sleek as possible with... Like an otter. Like an otter. Yes, there we go. Sleek like an otter, steamy like a steam woman.

Mm-hmm. My thing is just to get yourself for like a, not Pinterest so much as like a mood board of like when you see other people. If you do see people that you're like, oh, that's nice. Like there's no shame in being like, okay, you're sort of faking it till you make it. You're being like, I saw someone else wear this and now I'm, that's what all taste is. You know, I mean, like, fashion wouldn't exist if people didn't say like, oh, that looks nice.

I'll also have a go. You know, we can't literally come out every day in a completely original piece. So like, shamelessly be like, yeah, yeah, that looked good. But also be aware of like, oh, that looked great on Audrey Hepburn. perhaps I am two foot taller than Audrey Hepburn. Sure. And have a broader back, you know? I'm a broad back lady.

It feels like it's coming from a real place. Very real place that I just want to be a little petite, tiny back lady. Some people have tiny backs, don't know. I want to have a tiny back. I don't have a tiny back. And I've inherited, I was born with a massive back. You wore a backless jumpsuit once and it was great. Your back looked really good.

I do get it out a lot. Yeah, you do. But it is broad. Oh, yeah, yeah. But it is broad. Baby got back. Baby got a lot of back. I guess what the song was about.

Yeah, yeah. A woman with a massive back. Desperate to wear a petite number. And so just because you think that looks lovely, which it does, does maybe not mean that you can just crow by yourself into it. So be aware of like, okay, how do I actually look? If you like see people on Instagram,

you're like, oh, I think that's the sort of same size and height and hair as me. There's so many great people like fashion influences on Instagram, yeah, who are all different sizes and shapes. So if you follow somebody who looks completely different to you, then they, you know, be like, it's not going to translate, like follow people who look similar. Those trowl will look different if you're a size 20 than if you're a size 8. Exactly.

Also, it's so much nicer to watch someone like to see somebody. So if you're like a size 20, see someone who's like rocking an outfit. You're like, oh yeah, great, because it's so little sometimes every, it feels like all of, like, for example, all of the clothes at the moment, actually my whole life have been very unhelpful to someone who owns breasts. And so I find it very helpful following people who have boobs because I'm like, Oh, right, that's how I could do that. Or, like, rather than, like, everyone's just sort of draping spaghetti straps all over your own boot.

Oh, boy, they. Yeah. The first time you, like, tried that on, you're like, oh, no. Yeah, this looks like a sausage. Like a maternity smock. Yeah, it doesn't work. But on some people, it does. It's a delicate tiny shoulders.

Lovely. That's so nice. But the broad back, large breasted, you know. Yeah, we've got a... You can't just be like, oh, that's categorically stylish. Like, what's stylish for you? Yeah. Yes.

For example. In the 15th century of Europe, slashing. It was very, very stylish. It's a decorative technique. Please try it at home. It involves making very small cuts on the outer fabric of a garment to reveal they're sometimes brightly coloured in a garment. Oh, fun.

Like Snow White's blue and red sleeve. Yes, she slashed over the top. And then you saw that there's a red sleeve butt underneath. Oh, wow, that's fun. Slashing. Slashing. Slashing. Big, big deal. Wow.

Yeah. Okay. Big with the King of Naples. Of course. He loved that shit. He loved slashing. He loved that. Yeah, so I think, you know, be prepared to, I think you said, you said earlier you don't have any taste.

And I just want to touch back on that and agree that you. Sure, thank you. To say, like, I think it's so easy to be like, oh, I don't have any taste. Steal other people's toes. Steal other people's. And also, like, just, you know, ultimately nobody cares as much as you about the things that you've got on and you have to wear them. So if you like it, wear it. Oh, absolutely.

you look cool, whack it on. Like when you came to the recording and you were in that giant neon ski suit, do you remember? It's the happiest day of my life. Yeah, you looked like a lovely, happy skiing person in the middle of London. And I've said it before when my sister did wears very, very bright colours

and I don't really wear lots of colours because I'm very good at colour matching. Like, I'm always like, blue and yellow go together, right? And to be honest, if Gina would wear like red and pink and blue and yellow and brown and black and all these things I'd be like, that wouldn't work. How do you get a lot of?

away with it. It's like, well, you just wear it. You just walk around with confidence and you don't say, is this right? I'm wearing the wrong color. Is this right? We all, of course, remember Family Guy. Oh, we do. The murder mystery episode. I don't remember that. Okay. Well, it's a murder mystery. It's the whole town of Khoog

ends up, and then there were non-parody. But people are getting murdered. Stewie, the baby, is wearing tennis shorts. And his whole narrative is just freaking out about wearing these tennis shorts. No one can hear him. He's a baby. And people getting murdered. And every time there's a new body, he's like, everyone's looking,

aren't they? Everyone's looking at my tennis shorts. No one's looking at your tennis shorts, Stuart. No one is looking at no one cares. As long as you don't constantly say like, what is the, I know I'm wearing a hat and I'm sorry. I'm about to say I'm wearing a hat. I'm wearing a epitome. As soon as you do the house in a hat, you're just like, I've got a hat on. The whole time you should be like, I've got a hat on. The worst is like, there was that period of time where people were wearing sort of like headscarfts. Landgirl. And then like putting it around. So it just looked like you've just sort of thrown it on. Tried it once. I was hysterical. And then had to take it off like within five minutes.

As soon as you talk to anyone, you're just like, you're, is it flapping? You're just constantly dragging your own headscar. Yeah. So I think have, you know, this is like a sombrero or something, you know, you're probably fine. So no one, do not say, don't say, I'm wearing this. Yeah.

Just be like, just own it. Just wear it. Just confidently wear it. Nobody cares. No one knows that you're wearing tennis shorts. Pop on some lipstick. Everyone's just like, well, that was a choice. You'll keep saying like, I've got lipstick on.

I'm like, yeah, so. Yeah. Own it. Take some. ownership and be not to be like be brave just wear that but like just don't care so much like yes if you think it's nice like get in the 15th century slashing was was a thing now we don't do it all of the fads and all of the things are so transient everything's transient and so it's like don't don't hide in the corner in your big trapeze black smock you know and your clown shoes

and your clown shoes don't know just thought maybe they wanted to wear clown shoes they were trying to hide away so they weren't wearing the clown shoes okay so now be brave come out of the corner put the clown shoes on. If you didn't look great, look great. And don't, you know, get bogged down into like, famously there's once, at the debrief, of course, our origin story. Oh yes. There's a website that is sadly now defunct. Now defunct, but they once ran an article called like 12 ways to wear high heels if you never wear high heels. And I was like, that's me. I never wear high heels. I'm much too afraid to wear them. And the opening up paragraph was like, always get freaked out that you're too tall and like you won't be able to work properly. And I was like, yes. Oh my God,

yes, that's me. What's number one? Number one, tie a scarf around your ankle. Okay. And it was a high heel with a scarf. Yeah, that's too much. One scarf around one ankle. And I was like, that's tip number one to like ease somebody in. What's his tip number 10? People are the deeper for putting scarfs around their ankles. And why the hell not? Because high fashion looks mental. It looks so like what, like giant bows that you can't see over. That's what it looks like. So nothing you do will ever look bad If you're just like, if you wear it with the confidence of someone at Fashion Week who looks absolutely crazy. Exactly right. Because if you think about the most stylish person in your life and you think about them now, they, think about them now, hold them in your mind.

They are confident. Am I right? And you're remembering pieces that they've worn rather than like they just never wear anything of note. Yeah, you're wearing some. And they always say like, oh yeah, I got this from so-and-so. I got this blah. I made this. I did this.

I sewed this red buttonhole. I found it's in a charity show. They never open by saying like, ah, I'm wearing this. You know, they're just owning it. Oh my God, it's all about confidence. Everything is all about confidence. All about owning it. All about perspective.

And also, yeah, I have to take it too seriously. I know we've done a whole episode on being stylish. But you don't, what stylish doesn't mean anything because starless changes depending on what the decade is. So, you know, it comes from within. That is the message. Yes, you can. Yes, you could. And don't hold onto things that you're like, oh, I wish I could, but I can't.

Like, either do it or let it go. Otherwise, it's just a constant reminder that you're not cool enough. Yeah, like those very high platform shoes that came. about like maybe like five years ago, 10 years ago, and they were like, a plastic, see-through and they would have like dollar bills in them or something. They'd be like, I'm tagging out. I can't wear that. And that's fine. But Godspeed to those who do. Crop tops. I won't. I shan't. But lovely when I see one. I can't stop staring it because I'm always like, how. But like, so great. So great. No. But so great. Hopefully that doesn't make you feel

hopefully like, bolsters you up. So you're like, I am stylish. And who gives a shit? That's it. That's ultimately it. That's ultimately it. Who gives a. shit. If you like the episode, then please you share it about. If you've ever swapped a button over? If you've ever swapped a button over, please share it about. We've, for God's sake, get that out there. Show us your buttons. We'd love to see your buttons. Oh yeah, you've done amazing things. If you've ever,

if you've managed to, oh, I'd like everyone's challenge this week to make one tiny stylish detail. Oh my God. Whether it's a collar, a shoulder hat, a lining. A embroidered buttonhole. So, yeah, please. And then send them to us. Send them to us. We're at at Nobody Panic

pod on Twitter or I'm at Stevie M. the S is 5 at Tessacote and email us Always keen to see a button Always keep Love the button Do email us any suggestions you have We are working through them

Nobody Panic Podcast at gmail.com And I guess just have a lovely stylish sleek week like an otter And no matter what you've got on today Just wear it with confidence Even that hat Even that hat Which we all know as a mistake

But you can wear the hat We believe in you Wear that hat Bye bye Bye