Nobody Panic - How to Be On Time

Episode Date: October 22, 2019

Did you know there are different types of Late? Stevie and Tessa work through the various psychological reasons why people are often late in a bid to stop turning up fifteen minutes after their podcast recordings were supposed to start.Produced and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive Productions.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Follow Nobody Panic on Twitter @NobodyPanicPodSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Welcome to Nobody Panic with me, Steve E. And me, Dessa, thank you so much for being here.

And guys, you're so on time. Thank you. You're so on time. Oh my God, then you were early. Yeah, excellent. This is amazing. Thank you so much for being here. You arrived exactly on schedule.

This is the episode. Like a wizard who arrives exactly when he means. Or anything that arrives exactly when it's supposed to. But a wizard. Is that a thing? That's what Gandalf says. A wizard is never on time nor late. He arrives exactly when he means.

I love that. I don't know enough about Lord of the Rings. Do you not? You're not a fan? I love the films. No, I liked the films. Okay, I understood. Please, be honest. I liked the films. And your opinions are valid. The films were fine. Oh, God. I hated the films. No, I liked the films. I'm all at the cinema. Really enjoyed them. I really enjoyed them. I'm all the last one. I thought the last one. I didn't. I didn't. I kept looking like it, didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I tried to read the books. Read the Hobbit. It was like, yeah, I guess that's fine. It didn't grip. But I wanted to be more gripped than I was. And then tried to read the others and had to start. And had to start. because I was like, I'm not actually enjoying it. I feel bad and sad. And so that was actually the book that started my thing of, if you don't like a book, you can just stop reading. You don't have to finish the book.

It's sort of very much like food. Very freeing. When I was, I think I literally last year, it was the first time I was like, oh, I mean, I can stop when I'm full. Yes. And that actually feels quite good and quite powerful. I would always finish my plate and I would always finish the book. And have a horrible time.

So that was actually the first book that started it. But good for you. This podcast isn't about me finishing books, although I'd listen to it. It is about how to be on time. How to be on time. Tessa was late. I was late. I was late. Yes.

I was five minutes late. Tessa was 10 minutes late. But that's like no judgment. Wow, that feels wow. No, I was just actually, I didn't mean to do that. I meant it in a sense of just like facts. I'm going to call somebody out here. Hannah, it's you.

We did an internship together once. Wow. I was late. I flew in and I jumped to my desk and just starts like touch typing, you know, nothing. Humble brag. Sorry. No, nothing. Mime typing. Yeah, just clack, clack on the keys. Sorry, touch typing actually means you're typing something, but you're not looking at your hands.

Sorry, I'm not, I'm looking around. I'm like, how's everyone's day? But there's nothing there's not on. The computer is off. Yes. Yeah. Get the illusion going. Oh, for God's sake.

I spend way more time creating the illusion of productivity around myself than I do just being productive. That doesn't surprise me. And it would better if I just... Anyway, I was young. I was young. Oh my God, we're young. We're 23 at this point. I'm touch, touch, touch. And she says, oh, don't worry.

John, our boss is late as well. He's not here. Great. I'm like, thank God. And then she's like, no worries. And then in comes John. And he says, sorry, I'm late to everyone. And Hannah went, that's okay.

Tessa just got here. And then she flicked her hair over her shoulder. What a bitch! What a bitch! And I'm, listen, I've kept that in for years. And I'm sharing it now. And I'm saying her real name. That was very mean of you, Hannah.

Was it too, was it like, were you both interns, vying for a job? Correct. Asshole. Yeah. I can't stand people like that. Especially the hair flick. It's so pantomime. Yeah.

Get a bit of class, Hannah. Yeah, right? Do I mean? She listens. She definitely doesn't. No, of course. And if she does, I'm telling you, we're very mean. Yes, back yourself.

That is mean. Anyway, very late. We both have been guilty of being... I'm always late or I'm always really early because I'm so frightened about being late. Because I was like, I'm not going to be a late person anymore. about four years ago. Yeah. And now I turn up to things

about 40 minutes early. Like this is absolutely bullshit. I definitely get it wrong. I just want to be on time. I'm rarely on time. But I now, in recent years, I'm erring towards

arriving too early to things. Yeah, I'd say you have, sounds really passionate, but I've actually got better. I have, I have, yeah. Yeah. I've got a friend who,

she's probably listening. Hi, Jenny. She is never on time. She's 40 minutes late to everything. Even, like, the amount of times we've been like going to go see a show. And then I've been like,

we have dinner beforehand, and I've sat and had dinner on my own, and then met her, and she's, like, just arrived just as a show starts. She's like, I want to stop having dinner with you. Like, I had to shout at her. Yeah, she recently went to a show. There were no late cameras were allowed. It happened, but this week. No way.

I saw her. She had been to a show. They wouldn't let her in, so she had to watch it on the monitor. Oh my God. I think that is her life. She watches things on the monitor. Yeah, and we're going to get real deep into this, but she has the mentality. And also, she's fantastic, hello, Jenny.

She's great. I really like her. She's my favorite friends. Anyway, but she has the mentality, or you have the mentality, Jenny, and others listening, that if the show starts at 7.30, I'll get there at 7.30. Yeah, you can't. No, not, no. You need to have a special, like, I need to be there at this time. Yeah, yes. But it's so difficult to shift something that's so ingrained. Because I think there are, as we're going to talk about later, Tesla's got some different types of late people.

And I always thought, well, you're either late or you're not. But actually, the psychological reasons behind each specific person being late is so varying and so interesting. And it actually depends what's of late person you are, how easy it is for you to solve it. I think Jenny's is quite hard to solve because it's so deep in. And it's so bad. And she completely is aware of it. Whereas my one is like, I'm on time as much as I'm late. And when I'm late, there's usually like a reason.

I've just like not done a very good job of organising my time beforehand. And that obviously is a lot easier to deal with than other, some of the other types of being late. Yes. And also, even if you are listening and you're like, not for me. I have never arrived late to ever. anything then then boring all done and boy i'll say a life if i'm honest no no no no lovely well you respect other people's time you respect other people's time you respect your own time you're i love you but i love you please help us but keep listening because maybe you'll understand a bit

more about people in your life who you're like why are you late yes it's infuriating you can try when you're not a late person i've got a friend again who is never late and she's in a sketch group with two people who are constantly late and she starts most sessions being angry Because it's like, oh, trying us to be like, don't be annoyed, don't be annoyed. I've been on time again, and I live further away than everybody. Like, that sort of thing. Yeah. And I think it's very important to the, when we understand, that is when we can accept.

Fantastic. Gandalf. Yes, as he famously slid into the minds of Mordor. He definitely thought it. Yeah, he thought it. Oh, absolutely. But what adult thing have you done this week? I've gone.

I've got one. Have you? Yes. Do you want to go first? Yes. I decided about 10 minutes before we. I started recording the podcast. We went to get some,

we went to get and order some lunch guys. And I saw Apple Crumble on the menu. And I was like, I could have Apple Crumble now, or I could go home and make it. And then my flatmate can also partake in the crumble. Why have Apple Crumble now when I could wait and have like an apple crumble experience?

Oh, yes. I can control how much ice cream I put in it. I can control how much custard. Vegan, both. But like, Right. Well down you. Right. Come on time. Here we go. So you've got, which I'm very interested to hear, the kind of profiles of late people.

So if you're listening, you might be like, well, I'm late because I'm late, bitch. In which case, calm down, firstly. Calm down. No need for language like that. So much sass. Secondly, you'll probably fall into one of these categories. Yeah, personality types. And it's quite liberating when you find out your late person. Yes. Because it not only, you need to have knowledge before you can accept.

Like, you need to be self-accepting and then you can change things. Discovering this, there's going to be seven of these. And discovering them was genuinely, I think, life-changing in this specific area. Yeah, not in many other areas. Not in many other areas. But it was like, oh, it's a much more complex problem than just you're a late person or you're not. Yeah. And there's a much more going on that just be like, just be on time.

Yeah. So this is from a lady called Diana Delonzo. The book is called, and I recommend. it never be late again oh wow that's very powerful so powerful and you're like gosh okay and she herself was a chronically late person oh diana to the chagrin of her very punctual husband which is the worst and often people are chagrin as well oh thank you i called it chagrin in terms of i pronounced it wrong yeah yeah you've heard perfectly so she uh and that often goes hand in hand that you find yourself fate deals you a hand and you are partnered with a person who is the opposite timekeeping to you

oh my god yeah that happens quite a bit yes absolutely that you might be very part and your partner is always late or the opposite way around. Cause a lot of problems. And they're in the car honking you and you're like, please stop honking. Please stop honking. So have a sit down with yourself and decide which are these seven types you fall into. I can't wait. They've got fun names and if not can you give them?

Yes, obviously. This is Debbie Deadline. Okay. Yeah. So Debbie Deadline enjoys the rush. And incidentally, I have given them names. Diana has called them The Deadliner. Oh, you've put the actual first name in?

I've given a name. Love that. Love the creativity. I've gone fast and loose with that. But in case Diana's listening thinking, bitch, what are you doing? Who's Deborah? I've given them, make them sound more real.

And also my mother's name is Debbie, and she's absolutely Debbie Deadline. Okay. Debbie Deadline enjoys the rush of the last minute. What? Yeah. She thrives on urgency and often claims to work,

claims, such a nag, claims to work best under pressure. Sometimes it's difficult for deadliners to motivate unless there's a crisis, even if that means creating crises of their own, rushing from here to their selves as a way to relieve boredom. So I started off being like, I don't understand this person. Then moved into, maybe I am this person,

because I can't really do any work in this, there is a deadline. But then we'd back out into why you would need to create your own crisis. It's not an active choice to create the crisis. So you don't be like, I think it seems to be going fine. Wait on. I'll break my leg. Let me snap something. The more like you just allow this crisis to get.

more out of hand than it. Because you know that it will be ultimately fruitful for you in terms of productivity. Yes. It's a deep, as with all psychological things, it's a deep and often un-self-understood thing. Yes. Rarely have you been like, bitch, I'm going to make some crisis today. Okay. You've just let it become too much.

Okay. So, I'm not that person. A debiladeline, the buzz of making the train just. You talk about this so much. It's my worst nightmare. Tess's favorite dream is to enter a train as the door. close, whereas the stress that I get, I will stand and wait for the doors to close and get the next train because I'm just like, I'm not, I'm not doing that. I'm not running for that. That's

too, too stressful. Whereas you absolutely love it. What I mean is the difference between being like when it happens and you're like, oh, wow, I made the train, I'll feel a little bit like Superman. And then actively seeking that out because you kind of, oh, that's fun. There's a difference there, isn't there? So again, it's like way deep in your psyche. I get it. It's not like, oh, the train's there, I could go and stand on it, but I'm going to run down the train tracks. It's not that at all. It's just an understanding in yourself. It's less like, do you do this for fun?

And more, does it feel good to just make a train? Yeah. Those are the questions for yourself. So if you're someone who's like, oh my God, I nearly missed it, and that feels bad. But if you're someone who's like, oh, my God, I just made it. It's just like, you have got it into your brain that, like, the buzz of that is good. And also, if you've managed to do it in the past and you've managed to just make it, you're like, okay, I can do it in this very short amount of time.

Of course, yeah. So if you see a train and it's like 7.30 and you're literally like at the concourse at 7.30, like, if I run, I can actually probably make it. Because I'd be like, it's too late. Exactly. I wouldn't even bother. So on looking at the thing and saying, oh, it goes in 37 seconds. A Debbie deadline would be like, let's go.

Right. And for you, you're like, forget it. Yes, let's go to a wild bean. Let's go to Wild Bean. Let's go to Wild Bean and get the next one. Right. So are you a bit of a debiland? 100%.

Right. Right. So I need a deadline. All my university work, I started at 8pm the night before and worked through the night. Even when I had months and months to prepare for things, I still am incapable of packing until like we need to go. Like, it's very hard work for everybody around me and I do my very best to when I am near other people not bring that energy to anyone else. Well, that's good because you know that you're a double deadline. I know you can be like, ah, I will do something about it.

And I can get on with it at my own time and I'll continue to behave you like that on my own clock. But I know not to do it on anyone else's clock. Also, that's a nice thing to do. That's what my boyfriend does as well. He has been known to miss three flights in an airport because the woman was like, sit there. You've missed two. Sit there and he was like,

I don't want to sit there, go and go and get a drop. And then miss the third one. Okay, this isn't to the past. He's actually not a Debbie deadline. No, he's not. No. What I'm saying is then he's so bad at airport stuff. Yeah.

When we first started going out, the train he would book to get us to the airport was actually quite close for the plane leaving. Like it was that bad. And now he's so much better because he has seen my face. Yeah. Being like, what time are we going?

And then being like, oh, I've ruined the beginnings of the holiday. So he will approach his category in a minute. But what I mean is regardless of your category, it's nice to, it shows a nice kind of. On your own clock, be it. But not on someone else's. I think it's nice when you kind of, yeah, I didn't make him do that.

He was just like, I see. I see. Ooh, someone has called me out on something. I did not realise I do. Aha. Ah ha ha ha ha. Famously though, the Debbie's know that that is their behaviour

and know it enough to be at the airport hours ahead of schedule. Great. So they do not dick about with aeroplanes. No. So what is the second one? Number two is Paula the producer. Okay.

Paula needs to get as much done and as little time as possible. She feels better about herself when she's checking things off a massive to-do list. Producers tend to engage in magical thinking, consistently underestimating the amount of time their task will take. The magical thinking is a problem across the board.

Yeah. Which is... Is that the kind of like, oh, Google Maps says it'll take 15 minutes to walk there? I can do it in one. Yeah. I have got magical thinking 100%. And that is something I have managed to nip in the bud. Great. Real hard. Because I would be like, oh, it's a mile there. I can walk that in two minutes. Roger Bannister ran it in four, you know? Yeah. So, like, famously, of course I can't walk that journey in this amount of time.

And if you are guilty of magical things, you know, you are guilty of magical things, thinking, what you have to do is to guess how long it takes you to do things. So if you're like, okay, in the morning, if you're someone who's like, I need to be out the house at 10 past seven, that is the last time I can leave. Therefore, you're like, what time is the last I can wait up? I can do it in five minutes. Exactly. So what time do you set your alarm for? If you're someone who's like, I'll set my alarm for seven. Yeah. And I can be out the house completely ready to go, hair brushed, blow dried, clothes on in 10 minutes. You are delusional. And you are guilty of magical thinking. And you think you can do this stuff and you absolutely

can't. So what you have to do is guess how long it takes you to have a shower, guess how long it takes you to put your clothes on, and then write those real time estimates down for yourself, and then do them and time yourself and be like, oh shit. That would have got interesting anyway. Like, I want to know how long it takes me to like brush my teeth and do all that. Because I engage in magical thinking like that, but I know I'm doing it. So I'm like, yeah, I'll put my long one for 15 minutes before. I can, oh, I'll have a go. I'll have a go. Even though I know that means they're going to be like, yeah. That's often the thing with magical thinking. That's why we call it magical because you do now.

No, but some people genuinely are like, no, I, this is what my, I've mentioned from Jenny, genuinely is like, well, it says it'll take an hour. And every day I go to that place, it takes an hour. But today I'll do it in half an hour. And it doesn't make any logical sense at all. And when she's leaving the house, I'm just left. I'm always like, I've ordered. And I'm an hour away. And you've just left.

Like what? Because she's obviously like, oh, it's fine. It's fine. Yeah. But it's, yeah, that's like a break there with actually. The producers might, and equally, you're good people. You're just trying to get a lot of done today. And again, with all of these, these are good people.

Yeah, often very optimistic, positive people as well, who are just like, oh, I'll be fine. Yeah, it'll be fine. So the, if you are one of these people and you're like, okay, I got to get to my appointment by 10, and in that time, I need to have walked the dog, drop this off of the dry cleaning, picked up my thing. Got to us been class. Taking my child to violin. Of course. Wow, that's a kerfball. Wow, golly.

And get this, get a coffee, get a blow dry. and these are all the things on your list and you truly think you can actually do all of those in an hour. The only way to actually get to the appointment on time is for two of those to be able to go I'd say more on the day you know to be like fuck it fuck the child

he's not making it to violin everything takes so much longer than you think it's going to take and this is what you've got to time yourself I honestly put down on my guess for my shower if I was really going for it and washing my hair two minutes oh my god two minutes to get in the shower 17.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, but to me that was mind-blowing. Yeah, well, I mean, of course. I honestly do I could do it in and out in two minutes. Yeah, wow. If this is ringing true for you, a magical thinker, you must time yourself and you must be realistic with your things because I know when you write, when you think them,

you aren't lying to yourself, you truly are like, yeah, I can do all the stuff. But the reality is different because otherwise you wouldn't be late so much. Right, third person. Here she comes. I'm thinking of a Christian name now. It's Stevie. The absent-minded professor. Oh, okay. Well, at least I've got a professor. I mean, is like a professor.

No, we don't, I don't know if this is for you for sure. But this is, and these are the top three ones. The absent-minded professor is easily distracted. Disractability is thought to have a genetic basis and can range from full-blown attention deficit disorder to innocent flakiness. I don't think that's me. No, I know it's not you. The opposite-minded professor often loses track of time, misplaces car keys and forgets appointments. Right, that is me. Or no. All of those things I do. Those three hot ones.

Yeah. So again, not a bad person. That's more, that's basically just like, you're scatting. Listen to you with, you're just like loving to do a Google. You're just curious. I'm just, I've got an inquiring mind, and that gets me in trouble. I'm trying to think, I don't often lose track of time. Do I?

I don't think I do anymore, but however, I know that that is something I'm liable to do. So I go the other way, and I'm always like, oh, fuck. Yes, yes, yes. So actually, yes, that is proper. That is the most me so far. Yes. But I think definitely in the, like, oh, I've lost. I've lost it.

I've lost it. I've lost it. My clothes are fun on. Oh, whoops. I remember taking my first boyfriend home up north to meet my parents. And when he met my mom, the way he met her was she'd just run over her own glasses. And he was like, oh, he just was like, I get it. I get it now.

So like the scatiness thing is very, it's very genetic. Me and my sister both have that constantly. Whenever we go out together, someone will leave the derby card somewhere. And, yeah, it's a real pain. That's the absolute money professor. You're just too busy love in life. It's, Gina put it in a very good way, which was just like, well, when she's done something, she's thinking about the next thing and excited about the next thing.

So things like putting your debit card away. It's like, yeah, that's boring. Anyway, next thing. Next thing. Exactly. No. And the amount of times, like, she's got up and like loads of important things just fall off a person. Yeah.

I'm going out around being like, what, do you need this? Do you need this? She's like, oh, yes. They're my keys, my phone, everything. The absent minor professor. Yeah, he's fun. He's got Tweed on. He's got Tweed on.

And Iberi. Oh. He's a French. Professor. Oh, bonjour. I genuinely seem as having a beret, but this is my own personal truth. Yeah, he can look like whatever it looks like to you. Yeah, he's got four hats on.

That's your prerogative. And again, this is something we've both worked through, and, you know, you've got so much better. Yeah, well, also, I remember someone who is very, very organized saying to me once, well, okay, who do you think is an organized person? And I was like, you? And she's like, that's interesting. Why do you think that? And I was like, because you're so organized, you're never late, you always remember

appointments. You've always got your diary with you. And she's like, and that's the thing. I'm incredibly disorganized. So I always have my diary with me. And it's like, oh, right. Yes, she's put things in place. This is not like fatalism or whatever.

Like if you are one of these people, that's not you condemned to the rest of your life. Yes, no. This is you saying, hey, this is your one. This is your areas to work on. And it's totally achievable. I remember saying to you what I like to do when I leave the house, Stevie is I say phone, keys, wallet to myself. And I, and then I know I've got them.

and so they never get locked out of the house and the keys aren't never in the house. Yes. And then you were like, that's a great thing. And then we left the house and I said, do you want to try? And then you went, phone, keys, wallet. And you...

Then you beamed. And I was like, well, did you touch them? Did you have a single one? No, no. You just thought, you just said it. Phone keys, wallet. Let's go. Here we go.

That's because you're like, yeah, where are we going? What we doing? What's the name? I'm excited. I'm excited. Yeah, I'm excited to be here. You know? And so you just got to be like,

okay, but I got to touch the stuff. I've got to touch the things that make sure I've got them. I've got to hold the keys and say the word keys. Yeah. You just have to, if you are the absent money professor, you just have to take a bit more areas of your life as seriously as you would, a plane or a journey in which you're like, we must have the passport.

We must, you must, you know, just take the smaller appointments just as seriously to be like, these are all the things I need. Okay. The last four very quickly, because those are the three big ones. The other four are the rationaliser. Raymond rationalizer never fully admits to being late. Oh, even if they're quite palpably. in the help will be abate.

And it's a bit more mad, the rationaliser. For someone who'd be like, yeah, but we don't need to be there at this point. You know, someone who would constantly... I see. Yeah. It's actually, you don't want to arrive at a party on time. Always got a good reason for him. Always got a good reason.

Raymond reason. Raymond rationaliser. But actually, you're just late. So if you are that person, I think the only thing we can say is stop rationalizing it. Because you're never going to... Well, I suppose, actually, you know, if you are Raymond rationalizer,

then they're listening to this being like, I'm not Roman rationalizer. Yeah. I don't do it. I arrive 20 minutes behind the designated time on part of that. Which is good. And actually I choose to be. So there's actually no advice we can give you. If you're with a Raymond rationaliser, Godspeed. Godspeed. There's nothing you can do with a Raymond. We're not condemning you. You can allow. We're like, Raymond, get out.

There's nothing you can do. That's the end. That's the end. The indulger. This is somebody who just sort of generally lack self-control. And again, is just doing fun things and doesn't want to leave each activity. Oh. Which again, we've all been a shade of the indulge. Yeah. Whenever there's like, oh, and does, happen anymore because I've got an absolutely not a glittering social life but when I used to they'd be like on a Friday but I want it's so-and-so's birthday it so-and-so's leaving do it so-and-so's drinks and they'd be like which order shall I make them all in and then you're like to all of them because you go to the first one get over-excited to get very drunk and you're like well now

and then you turn to the second one absolutely bad and you can't possibly leave for the third one because you have to go home and you put an Uber and that's very difficult but in general in life yes there are people definitely like that but I think that is quite difficult to be with or be friends with because that genuinely does feel like that person isn't respecting your time. That person is literally just being like, I preferred to stay where I was. Exactly. And that's quite rude. Yes. So we'll call her India, the indulger. Yeah, sure. And again, we're not a bad person. We've all been guilty of it. You're just having a nice time at everything that you do. Yeah, and you're excited about where you are and that's not a bad trait, personality trait at all. It's just

I think those people don't actually think about the effects of what they're doing. So just try and have a think about what happened if you invited your friend to a thing and they did not arrive because they were essentially doing something better. Like, that's quite hard. Yes. I've definitely done it. I've done it. I've done it loads. But I think it was also quite almost like, for a lot of people, it's a young person sort of thing. And when you get older, they kind of disappears. But with some people when it is actually a trait and it's like, you know, you're 40 and you're still acting like that. That's quite hard. But I think there's no other advice really other than identify yourself as that. If you feel that, then you have to start thinking

about the person that you are standing up or the person you are being late with how they feel. Like you have to have a little thing and, you know, try and be nicer. Yeah, just be like, okay, where are these things coming from? Why do I, why do I do it? Selfish and you've got to be a little bit selfless. But selfless, just occasionally. And the last two, Evelyn the Evader. Oh, Evelyn sounds frightened. She is, she is trying to control feelings of anxiety and low self-esteem by being late.

So for her, it's like, she just, wow. Wow. Absolutely wow to me. Absolutely mind-blowing. To her, that's like, I didn't, I guess it's like a sort of I don't want to, I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to come. And so I've just, you know. I didn't want to impose myself by being on time. So I'll just stand out massively by being late. Yes. Evelyn, your anxiety, that's not helping your anxiety. No. Be on time. Be early. Stop evading. Oh, maybe Evelyn doesn't want to be early because that's very anxiety making, isn't it? So that's hard, but I'd say put things in place for when you are early. Bring a book, bring a thing. So if you're going to, because that is the worst when you turn up to a party and it's too early and no one's there. But Evelyn, you're fine.

You're doing great, girl. Yeah. Just, you know, get there. Maybe have some therapy. Yeah, could be. Could be. But like, don't freak out about, you know. Just get yourself there.

And very last is The Rebel, who arrives late to assert power. Brackets. Rebels are usually. men. Yeah. I think they gave out at school to boys copies of like Machiavelli or like the art of war. And somewhere in it it was like always be the last, make everyone's waiting for you. Like your time is the most precious.

I've been doing this work in America and we were on a large conference call in which everybody's assistants call into the conference call and then me also in the conference call. Everyone says they say their name and who they're waiting for and who their whole. the line for. So the assistants hold the line. Oh, right. You say like, it's, it's Stevie. I'm holding for Jacob Jacob. Jacob. And so we all wait all the assistants. Because obviously, Jacob's, you know, time is so important that the assistant can't hold. He can't hold. He can't wait. He's busy, busy, busy, busy. And then, after I done a few of these calls, I realized it was a real power play

for who was last on the call. No way. So it was a real, like, the most powerful person. That means that they're so busy. Yeah. They, oh, fuck. So the assistants, I realized,

would be waiting to alert their person who was probably right there ready to be on the call waiting to be like, oh, everyone's in, now you can come in. That's fascinating.

Isn't that mad? In work terms, yeah, because there is that weird, among women as well, there's that weird thing in city. I don't know, if you live in London, you definitely have a city,

if you haven't, well, this happens in London a lot, about you're the most busy. Yeah. And so then whenever there's like a drinks thing, the person that comes in latest, it's like, their time is so much more precious. So, you know, this better be good. And then they'll leave early being like, I'm so sorry. I've got like a really early call on start in the morning.

And you're like, right, well, you shouldn't have come, if I'm honest. If you couldn't make it, which you clearly couldn't, don't show up. Yeah. So if you realize that you are doing that, just stop. Because it doesn't make anyone feel better unless you're like an American CEO and everyone's doing it. and that's part of your, it's horrible anyway. I honestly think even if you are an American CEO and you've been, you know that like,

it's like, oh, is everyone in? Now I'll arrive. Just be on time. Everyone's there for me. It's like, who gives a shit? For a few minutes of your day, just like, be generous with your time and wait. Be on the call when you said you were going to be on. It doesn't, it doesn't make anybody

think any better of you to behave like, you know, the king. Yes, absolutely. No one needs this like my side, my lord. Stop it, you know. That's the one thing I want you to take away. Please. Come on CEOs. But also if you're normal, just like, not the CEOs aren't normal, but are they? And just like going about your day being like, well, I'll turn up late to things so that I appear the most busy and that my time is so important. Just get off yourself. You have to swallow your pride on that. These last ones, we're really not giving them the attention they deserve.

I think Evelyn needs some love and attention. The other three, I feel like you can just go fuck yourself. But also, I feel you, it's hard. But it all comes down to. I think you need to be a more selfless person. And that's really hard, but your actions will be having detrimental effects of those around you. Right, apart from if you were the last three, in which case really went in for you. I hope that helps in general for the majority, who hopefully came in the first half of that list.

If you are the second half, and you want to just tell us off over email, it's nobody panic podcast at gmail.com. If you're listening to me like, I do use lateness as a power move, email us, I want to know. We have so many questions. Regardless of ourselves, There's not as much judgment as I feel.

No, we've all been... The thing about being late is like, you're late, you're late. It doesn't matter why. Your reason is neither here nor there. Like, you're late. So we can't hold anything over the rebels. No, because... Just as I'm a professor.

The cookie professor and old Debbie Nuts over here, I'm being like, well, we came for deep psychological reasons is why we were late. We have problems. We have problems. You're just meaning. You're just meaning. Exactly. Like, we were all late, mate. Yeah.

So, like, yeah, it doesn't. doesn't make any difference. Have a little check in with yourself and be like, which one do I actually think I am? Yeah, and how can I put things in place to just be on time? And try out the timing thing, because honestly,

absolutely revolutionised my life. That would be helped for most of the types of people, to time, upon the last three. Yeah, I think anybody would, will benefit from the timing thing because we've just lost all sort of concept of it. Yeah. And do believe the maps, you know, like, do believe.

They are, they're giving you a time approximation for a reason. Don't just be like, eh. Do you reckon a man just walked around? and then they timed him. I think about it often. How did they walk out the walking time? And do they change it for like age? You know, like what if an old person

who's got Google Maps? They might be a little bit slower. Exactly. I always assume it's for the very elderly and therefore I can do it quicker. And that's the magical thinking. And slow the problem. There we see.

There's the magical thinking. Well, hopefully that helped. And I think I've, and every episode are saying, hopefully that helped. I'll find another way to say it next time. I think so. Yes, true.

And then we go, bye, bye, bye. Yeah, I do think so. do tweet us at nobody panic pod or me at steve mvmv is a five i'm at tersicoat if you want to hang out on instagram it's wheat prey love yeah i feel like i should explain myself because a lot of you have found me i don't know how not to be like you can't come please thrilled to have you wheat i had it's not worth eat pray love isn't it no it's wheat no but it's eat pray love is the thing that you're riffing off and you can't eat wheat i always thought yes you're completely right honestly i don't think it's as confusing as the thing it's quite charming.

But do explain what your original intentions were for Instagram though, because it is interesting. I thought I'd become a gluten-free blogger. Yes, that again. I think I'm glad you didn't. Yeah. I thought I could be quite popular. I think you would have been. But not as liked.

No. But it turned out I can't do it. Because I've got no interest in it. I don't want to. And I also eat gluten regularly. Turns out I don't care and I didn't like it. So it stopped. But it's a good name anyway.

Like, it's just like a fun name. It doesn't sound like you want. to be a, I think you feel like whenever anyone says it, like, they get this like flash. It was like, she wanted to be a gluten-free blogger and then she failed. But actually, everyone's just like, oh, I guess, yeah, she doesn't eat wheat and eat pro love. Oh, thank you. Or she likes wheat, wheat, pray love.

You know, it could be either. It could be anything. Could be anything. Failed titles include Gluten Morgan. Bye. Vladimir gluten. That's great. Glutem things I hate about you.

Oh, this is brilliant. I never heard these before. Oh, yeah, they're all there in the Arsenal. Oh, great. Great. None of them made it. Well, um, um, That's that then.

That's that. Wherever you're going today, come on. Be on time. Come on. Have a thing. We can do it. Work yourself out. Take some steps.

Don't be late. And it's the sweet buzz of being there on time. Oh, that hot, hot high. And we'll see you next week at exactly whenever the podcast is uploaded. And whenever you'd like to join us, we'll be exactly when you're expected. That's the nice thing about this. We're always ready for you exactly when you are. Always on time.

I love it unless we're late. Oh, well. Okay. Well, bye-bye. Bye.