Nobody Panic - How to Be the Social Secretary

Episode Date: May 3, 2022

Tessa wants to be the group social organiser, and it becomes clear during this episode that she basically wants a posh chalet to casually go to with friends. Either way, here’s how to be the one who says “hey let’s all do a pub quiz next week” .Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanicWant to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The date is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace. It's coming to London. True on Saturday the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September at King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. Hey, are you doing anything later? Not with you. No, don't want to. We've never been friends. I've never cared for you. Goodbye. We'll never hang out because neither of us can organise anything.

That's absolutely true. Welcome to Nobody Panic. That was some short role play. There was, believe it or not, improvised. Can you imagine that? We didn't script it. We didn't know. We go from office to office around the country

performing our small role plays to encourage friendship. And specifically, this is a... Okay, listen, I've chosen a weird title for this. I don't think it's weird. Oh. It's just very... I think it's probably...

We have to explain it just, you know, purely because maybe social secretary is a very university thing. Yes, it is. So it's somewhat ingest. Of course. And somewhat very serious. And some are mostly serious. This episode is titled How to Be the Social Secretary.

It is very much a university word. the social sec for the ENTS sock or some. I feel sick. Sick sock. Sock of course standing for society. Ence I think standing for entertainment. Yeah.

Oh God. But schools also can have a social secretary. Your workplace maybe has social secretary. But in this particular instance it's about being your group of friends is possessive social secretary. Your pronunciation of secretary is quite interesting. I don't think it's wrong.

I don't think it's wrong, but it's like halfway between secretary and secretors. What am I saying? I think I'm right in saying. I don't want to pick you up on anything. No, no, you are. You are. We will be correct. I think it's secretary, not secretary.

Secretary. Secretary. Is that right? What a shame. It's not shame. I just thought it's always good to say, isn't it? I'm widely read, everyone, but lowly spoken. Oh, yeah.

There's a lot of words I've just confidently chosen the pronunciation. Pronunciation. Is that wrong? Is that one? Is that one? You're joking me. I think it's pronunciations. You're joking me.

Pronunciation. I think so. But I do know. Do you think it's pronunciation? Yeah. The producer name is so kindly nodding. Yeah. Good stuff.

Pronunciation. Pronunciation. Absolutely. Oh, shit. It's a cracking start of the episode. We read the audiobook. Please, I mean, do buy it for God's sake. It's a little.

A little promotional. Is that wrong as well? No, it's actually, yeah, promotional. Promotional. Insert. The amount of words, I got a little tap on the glass from the producer being like, that's what are you saying. That's not. That's not it.

We actually kept a lot of the mistakes in the audio book, which I think that's why it's funny. It was breathtaking. But we kept some of your pronunciation. Pronunciation. Jesus Christ. Right. But this is a great episode. This one is about being the social.

Sec. Welcome to the podcast. Also, before we get into it, we like to exchange the most grown-up things we've done this week to make ourselves feel better. Let's just do that now. Absolutely. Why not? Go in. Go in. Go in. Go in. Mine is that I was writing, well, I didn't actually do it. My mum wrote a, you've moved to house, well done, card to my god sister. Right, that's your adult thing. And I was there at the time. And then she got the address that this girl's mum had sent my mum. And we looked at it and then she thought, and then I thought, I don't think that looks right. And then this was my adult thing.

I was, I was tasked with putting it in the post. But as I was walking to the post box, so I thought, I don't believe in this address. It felt like there wasn't enough. It just like her name, London. Yeah. I was like, something feels wrong here. and I went on my little Google Maps

and it was Julie not coming up and then I went on the Royal Mail postcode finder where you put in the postcode and Julie it was correct it was wrong and then I I messaged the girl and said what's your dress please even though that obviously spoils the surprise

of receiving the post I was like otherwise you're never going to get it and an F and an S had been mixed up in the postcode and the wrong house name had been put on and the wrong flat in fact the entire thing was wrong Okay.

Is it adult? Who's to say? That is adult. I felt like a real Poirot and I felt I saved the day. I've still got the letter in my back. I haven't actually posted it. But now I'm saying it to everyone and I'll have, today I'll make sure I put it in the post box. So it's an ongoing adult thing.

Okay. I'm really great. Well, mine's quite a low bar as well. What are you saying? Mine's not low. It actually wasn't until you revealed he didn't post it. No, mine is extremely poor. It was quite, I was quite impressed. I wouldn't have thought of Post-Gode finder.

I would have just been like, ah. So I would have just cried. Yeah, no, mine is, I've found a place for all my bubbles to store them. Rather than, like, just sort of, I think there's maybe like 10 places where I stored them previously. You know, in the bathroom, by the toothbrushes. Oh, in my desk drawer. Bedside table, big one, getting into bed. Oh, I don't want to have my hair up.

Put on the floor. That's not good. Of course. And it's what's nice is that I got, so when I was like, I don't know, maybe three years ago, four years ago, my partner went out just literally to Tesco. And I was like, get me something nice. And he's like, okay.

And he came back with it just so happened There was like a stall out there, out near the Tesco and like some sort of farmer's, some sort of weird market with those of like stuff. So I thought he was going to come back with like a fruit winder. A cream egg. A cream egg. And he came back with a stuffed llama called disco Lawrence that had sparkly, sparkly shoes. I was like, oh my God, disco Lawrence.

And then, but then I was like, I don't know what to do with disco Lawrence. No, who could. Once you've got the llama, you're like, well, this is this is a llama sat there. got very long neck, realized, I could put all my scrunchies on his neck. So disc alarm now has like a beautiful multicolored roth. Oh, wow. So there we go. Wow.

It doesn't feel. No, it is. It really is. Okay, thank you. With that boon of positivity, let's ride us into being the Social Secretary. The Social Secretary. The Social Secretary's job within a group or a school or whatever is to organize. the stuff for people. It's to be like, oh, and now we're organizing a social event.

Does they want to go and get an Airbnb for a weekend? It's the thing. And then I went in within a more colloquial, just normal group of friends, maybe you have one person who's just really on it. Some person who's like, we're doing this now or this thing is happening or I've got a spare ticket to the theatre. I've got a spare ticket to the theatre. And I think we share some of the the social secretaries in our lives. I have a number of them. And God bless them. I've had a good at long innings. I've had a life merrily riding the coattails of various go-geting social secretaries. I've been very blessed to be invited to a number of things. And now, God love them. They've all given birth. And they're down. They're down. They've given birth or they've got

they're now the ultimate social secretary for a human being. But they're busy with, they've got a new a group and the group is their child or people have got jobs or generally generally like I feel everybody listening has felt that this the last couple of years their social circle has reduced

significantly either to just the people they happen to live with or the people in like walking distance of your house and now everyone's like oh yeah I think I used to have quite a few friends and now I don't remember who my friends are who are who are they

And we used to do things, right? And then now, so this is me being like, if you're a person who's thinking, oh, yeah, we used to do stuff. And now, I don't know what to do. This is me being like, okay, this is what we're going to do. Great. This is what we're going to do, kids. This is the plan.

I relate very hard to this. As you remember, I was saying a couple years ago about how, like, I've never been away with friends on holiday. And then you're like, have you ever asked anyone? I was like, no, there we go. There we go. Not a natural social sec. No, not nature's social.

She claps her way in. But we've, like, so I think this is for anybody listening who's like, or maybe you used to be the social second way and you've lost, I don't know, you're fine, you don't need this. It'll just be a nice episode. You just sit back and listen or say like, that's not what I'd have done. Absolutely. Please do let us know how to do it better. This is me being like, my goal this year is to be the social sex, not my natural role.

I think I did once apply to be welfare. secretary. Holy shit, man. I wanted everyone to come to me with their problems and I was like, no one's going to do that. Or if they'd be like, come on, sort it out. Sort out. Yeah, exactly. A listening and compassionate ear.

Okay. Anyway, so this is me pitching to be the social secretary and this is what I intend to bring to the group this year. Thank you for listening to my presentations, Stevie. So it's great. And why do you want to be a social secretary? Because I feel like the group needs me. And I feel that I personally don't do as much social stuff as I used to.

And I don't think I can be alone in that unless option one, everyone is carrying on without me. Oh, yes. Is that an option? Yes, an option, yeah, it's true. Do you think other people think that? No, just you. Oh, fuck. We've all don't want to be your friend anymore.

Oh, no. I'm so sorry. No, that's obviously nightmare number one. Of course it is, yeah. No, of course not. But also you're very, like, I would say, is the member of the group, very much like, well, Tesla would be up for it. Like, you know, if you've got, like, anything going on, they're like, I wonder if anyone will. The answer is yes. Yeah.

I'll be there. I'll be there. She'll be there regardless of whether she's dressed for the occasion. Can feasibly get there. He's not doing something else. Yeah. You will turn up on a bike in your dressing gown. Yeah.

Sports Direct bag. I'll go somewhere else in a minute. But I love to be here. That's the thing. I just love to show. I love to go places. You absolutely do. Somebody was telling me they're not going to a wedding in South Africa next week.

And I was like, I'll go. They were like, you don't know anyone. I was like, so? I'll take your place. Like, I want in. I want to go to the stuff. And so it's up to me, I suppose, to create the stuff. Yes.

And I think there's a real thing about like, like, oh God, there's a lot of big thing in our culture of like being weighted. like waiting to be asked to do stuff like waiting for permission in general like there's a lot of I've been listening to a lot of American podcasts being like never wait for a permission but I don't think they're talking about like going to a party but like that also is the case like the other day I didn't go to a party last week

because I was like I wasn't really invited and then found out that like it wasn't really an invite thing like you could just go like it was fine I would have actually really liked just go and so I think yes there's an element of well I'll wait to be asked And then that will show I am a truly valued member of the group. Because I want people, I want to see that people want me to go on holiday with them. You're like, yeah.

But they're going to presume you're too busy or you're not interested because you've literally never shown any interest in organizing anything. So here we go. Give me a pitch of how to be a social sec. And I'll let you know if I want you to be mine. Thank you very much. Okay, number one, the activities are not happening without you. this is not really my pitch so much as this is my saying

just so you know everyone and I listen we can't be totally sure I still believe they might be some activities might happen but like you can't always be invited to literally every single thing there'll be some things going on but it's not someone actively going I don't want Tessa to come to them it's someone just being like oh we were in a WhatsApp group

sorting out a present for a friend that you you don't even know anyway. And so, oh, do you want to, she will go for a drink? Do you know what I mean? Yeah,

but why didn't you think of me? Because it was a, it was like, it was like a, spur of the moment, oh, it's just that group of people that bought that present for Jeffrey.

Yeah, you know? Yeah, and everyone's got a lot of, everyone's got a lot of people. Yeah. A lot of periffs now. Yeah.

I feel like, 2020 is the year of like, looking at your perif and going like, have they dropped off or are they, shall I reel them back in? Yeah.

shitting hell okay right I want in I'm reeling back in I want ever You got real yourself back in Please let me reel back in This episode is less help for anyone else

And more just me saying My fears Which are reel me back in Everyone I want I've been to numerous parties And you've been there I wasn't asked No no right

Number two Okay Number one The things are not happening without you Get Over yourself Wow yeah Again Excellent welfare secretary

Here she is So get over yourself, mate. Number two, everybody has gone insane. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Please remember, everybody, be mad. I like how I said, we like said this about a year ago. And it's still just as true. It's a new, it's a new kind of mad now.

We're all crazy. And people have got all kinds of fears. People drop off at the drop of a hat about not coming to things. We are very much still living in a plague. Like, there's a lot going on. So forgive people for their madness and for not wanting to attend. things and you know what number two everybody chill out okay number three here we go how to be a social here we go so i had a good think about the people i've known who have been fantastic at it and uh admittedly

a thing they did have in their corner was access to a large house in the countryside i was going to say often it's massive wealth often um massive wealth massive wealth be massively wealthy and just have houses in the country. Or know someone who is. So that is obviously a huge thing that you're like, ah, yes. I do remember my mum, me coming back from some lovely thing I'd been invited to

and I assume she had been drinking because she was quite emotional. And then she gave me a hug and she was like, I'm sorry we can never repay them. I'm sorry we never get to be like, come to this thing. You'll always get to go to these nice things and you never get to say like, why don't you all come to our house in Bados, you know? I understand. I would, I would just weigh in here with, I think we are having

very different experiences with what just, what the social sec is. You're experiencing it like, I don't know, you're some sort of Manhattan socialite. I'm experiencing it just in the sense of like, you know, our friends being like, oh, I've got a ticket to this, do you want to come? Or like, hey, should we all just like go to the pub next Wednesday? And you're like, you know what? What a lovely group of people. Yes, let's do that. Okay. You don't have to have money, but also being like, I think I might have a dinner or like what I've started doing, which is like, and someone said the other day, I went around to their house for dinner and they were like, I always think about, you'll actually really like this, because it's from the podcast and I did this because of things

that we have said. I never had people around for dinner because I'm like, I'm get too stressed cooking and I just feel like I'll ruin it. And so I had people around for takeaway. And I just was like, I'm just going to be really confident, like we've talked about. And my friend was like, I think about that all the time, just how caught on how lovely it was. And how, like, I would never think to do that. Because she's, she's quite rich. And it's from that kind of like, oh, you know, the etiquette of something. You would never even think to do a takeaway.

Because that would be like, I guess that would be rude, how vulgar. And then you're like, but it wasn't at all. And I was like, no, no, it wasn't. So that's already, I can feel like one of your tips can be like, just drop your expectations. Once again, it doesn't need to be a chalet. at all, like in any way. It doesn't need to be okay. It can just be like, have you seen it as a Beyonce night

at the local pub? Yeah. Let's go. It'll be full of weird guys. I've literally been like, but like how can I invite people to my shalette? I'm got to shalette. Oh God, thank you so much, Stevie.

Okay, right. God, Christ alive. Okay, so other thing that these people were very good at is just different groups of people, different like social groups. and that to me I was like that's hell like what if they don't like each other

what if they're like God you're friends with this person but people were just and just like saying you had the takeaway you just said very confidently and you weren't ashamed of it and you went like

is this okay you just come around I'm having takeaway everyone's like lovely I'm thrilled to be here be like come around

get a group message that's like I've invited John Dick Harry Tom's not invited fuck him and everyone's like

oh I don't know them but I think you're all good eggs, get in the room, and I won't apologize for it, you know? Not being like, is everyone, are you, is it okay? Like, just take that element of it, like, you know good people, you think they're nice, presumably they'll have something to talk about. We're all adults as well. We're all adults.

They'll survive, you know? Put them in, you know? So confidently being like, okay, like this sort of group of friends has dwindled a bit because a lot of people have moved away or got new jobs or have children or are doing other stuff. So maybe there's not quite enough of us in this group. I've also got this other group, and then we can join forces. And so it's like, would everyone like to come around?

And you don't know doodle poles, because that way madness lies. No, because then someone else, you'll do it, you'll do it around John. And then John on the last day will drop out. So you're like, well, we did it around John's availability. What day are you free? Just be like, hey, Wednesday night, I'm having some people around. You've missed the Oscars, I'm afraid. But like, is there another thing that you could all be watching?

Yeah, like a pub quiz or something? Is there a pub quiz? Are you all into watching? the Formula One or whatever. Oh my God, it's Daytona. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's Daytona. Okay. Right. Yeah. The Florida Junior College cheerleading championships are coming up. Yeah. The time zone, I suspect, will be insane and it won't be enjoyable, but it'll be like, come around, we're all watching Daytona. You know what Tessa's social sec thing is? It's Daytona. It's Daytona. So, like, is there a thing coming up that you're like, and rather than being like, God, I would

cool if I was invited that. Eurovision's coming up. Like anything that's like, have a Eurovision watching party. And it doesn't have to be a do. You don't have to dress up unless that's your thing. It doesn't have to be any stress. It doesn't have to be.

It's like, oh, only a few people from school can come. Oh, look, you've got other people. They don't all have to know each other. Throw them in a room. Throw some pizza at them. Put Eurovision on. Oh, look. You're doing it.

And everyone will be like, oh my God, this was so nice. Thank you so much. Because I was just going to watch it on my own. Or I didn't even know it was on or whatever. Like people will be so incredibly grateful. no apologies. That's my, that's my, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the, you know, that's the, you've, you know, you don't have to host things. You can just be, you can be the one who organises just going for a drink. Like, because also as well, as we get older, those very casual things be like, well, that's just, that's nothing. Actually, it's quite a big deal getting people together. Yeah. And it takes quite a lot of. Yeah. And it takes quite a lot of. effort and there's you know there are things you can utilize that you go like oh god not that but you know and

like i've got i'm in so many little WhatsApp groups of just like little groups of people where it's like well if we if we if I'm going for a drink with that person i'll go with this person as well and then and then you get to kill two birds with one stone hello have a lovely time and then and then it's like should we do that again and then suddenly you've got like a little thing going but you but you being the one to like set up the WhatsApp group for a drink and then being like really confidently being like and everyone can leave the WhatsApp group after the drink that's so fight and I just wanted to do it for now. Like being so clear about it,

you're the one like helping people to, because otherwise you just get loads of people being like, oh, I've got to stay in this WhatsApp group forever, unless it's obviously fine and you're going to do a regular one. But like you, it's like, it's about you setting the terms of what the social event is, isn't it?

That's the, that's what a social sector is. It's like you taking it off other people's shoulders, but it's so hard because then you have to make the decision and you're so worried that other people are going to be like, I don't want to do that. Or like, you know. Exactly.

Exactly. And I think it's about you just have to take that part of the worry away. This is what you've organized. This is the decision. We just discussed this thing about backing your decisions about being like if, if, when it gets it, it'd be like, wow, this was a mistake. Put your hands up. Be like, well, this is dreadful. Yeah. But you don't have to preempt that in the lead up to it. Being like, I've organized this. I thought it would be fun. I'm sorry if it's bad. I'm sorry if it's bad.

You don't know. None of that. Because then everyone's like, oh, now I have to be extra good because so make Stevie feel better. I'd just be like, this is happening, come if you want, or don't. Give a shit. Yeah, yeah. Give a shit. That's my second thing. I've talked about her before, but after our exams, we went on an extremely mad, very cheap trip to Benny Dorm.

And a girl who was not part of the group was also there because it had been organized by a social secretary who was like, everyone's welcome. You're good, you're good. Everybody come. And this girl was there who people knew, but it was not, went to a different thing. She was totally separate. she was such unbelievable value insisted on pretending to be our club rep

every evening we'd like organise like games did stuff like came down on an outfit every night and was like I'm in charge we're doing this and I was like God love the woman like just taking that level of control of being like we're doing this now and people will want to do it no one say I don't want to do it

everybody's in everybody's dead just confidently taking control okay this is from a woman called Christina with a why where's the why who's to say Noel? Do you think there would be an L

Christina? No, no, no her last name's Noel. Okay, okay. Oh my God, I love it. Okay, yeah, yeah. Because she knows a blog post. It's called Where's the Corks Group?

That sounds very jolly. It's about, I don't think it is. Okay. She listens? She listens. It's all about, you know, well, this is why I suspect it's not that fun.

is one of her suggestions for throwing people together, you know, who don't know each other, is, you know, all about like, make sure everyone introduces themselves for some kind of fun, fact-related question, relates to the party. It's not a job. It's not a workplace. It's corny, but it works. Questions can include, what are you most excited about this weekend? Where's the next place you're travelling to? Do you play a sport growing up?

So then she says, here's, here's you got made an icebreaker. She's made a section in her book about icebreaker games. I even once, I even once, I don't think you can imagine this, played a rapid fire of never have I ever type questions where I made people raise their hand if certain characteristics apply to them. For example, if they were an engineer, if they like to work out. You can go too far. If they like to travel. If they ever have played a board game, if they've ever made a board game, I was like, are you mad? So those are her genuine suggestions.

And if you want to look at some more, she's had a list there of the Never Have I Other Questions for you to enjoy at your leisure. So you don't have to do that. I was going to say actually, with the taking control, it's very easy for that to slip into like, we're doing this now. We're doing this now. And I think it's more like, how does it from feel about doing this? Yeah.

Because actually that little switch immediately gives people the option to go, oh, I actually wanted to go to the botanical gardens. And you want to basically always give people options to go to the botanical gardens if they want, rather than being like, oh, but someone's come down and just gone, we're doing this now. But I quietly wanted to have lunch at another time. For example, and I'm saying this because I have a friend who I think would see himself as a social secretary. But what I feel is it's very like, it's like I've hired, it's like I'm at like a kid's party and he's the dad. And it's like he's just telling us what to do.

the time and you can't just like relax ever. I mean I haven't gone um anyway with him for a while maybe that's why. Maybe that's why it's all very like I remember I remember I went to see I want to see Kate and Will's wedding into 2012 or 2011 or whatever a while since you hung out no well this is like one of the times where I was like and I see where like and we were like so we went to watch in like Trafalgar Square and we dressed up like the royal family. Gorgeous lovely day out a lot of fun but he sort tagged along me and my other friend were doing it properly and seriously and then he sort of was like, could I come?

I'm like, yeah, great. And then I remember we watched the thing. We're like, oh, that's very nice. I got too emotional considering I have no, I don't really care about the royal family, but I really got caught up. When the sun came out and everyone went, it's Diana.

Yes, yeah, there was that. There was a real whisper of it's Diana. And then we went to the park nearby and we were like, oh, so be nice. And we just sat down. And then he immediately was like, okay, so what are we doing now? Okay, well, I'm going to get an ice cream.

And I think we should get ice creams. And then I think we also, They need to go to the pub in about 45 minutes. And then after that, so I'm going to book ahead. And it was like, mate, I just want to sit and just like maybe get a cider from the Tesco. And also, like, you haven't asked what we want to do. You're telling us what we're doing. And I think there's a real fine line between good, confident, assertive social secretary ring and bossy,

which is obviously a word that is thrown around and very gendered and not, you know, but also it is a description of this man. So, yeah. I think those of us who fear the Social Secretary role are so worried about coming across like that, that we don't do it. And so if it's, that's you, I think it's like, so that, if you're someone who's like, oh, maybe I do that. It's like, yeah, maybe, maybe you rein it in. Those of us waiting in the shadows to terrify, we need to, we need to step forward. Step forward, absolutely.

And as with, you know, the government and perhaps even the police, those drawn to the jobs are perhaps not the ones who should be taking the man. Wow, Stevie. Wow. It's those stepping aside who should really consider it. Oh, my God. I think it'd be a very great sensitive social sack. Thank you so much. Oh. Or policeman.

Poor policeman. I should be the head of the Metropolitan Police. Cressida. I'll take the role. Okay. So I feel a bit more confident about this. As I hope we're coming, we run out of time because we whittled on about my personal fears.

I think listening to personal fears is very helpful because it makes you go like, oh, I'm not like, it's all about being assertive, isn't it? And so I think one of those things would be helpful if you're listening to me, like, oh, but how do I even get the courage to go and listen to our assertive episode because we talk a lot about like saying, you know, okay, anyone fancy wagamamas for dinner?

We go obsessed with vagabamas. But it's about, yeah, it's about like taking, not being frightened of being like, how about this? and not waiting for someone to suggest. Like if you're thinking about friends and you're like, God, well, like, I keep seeing on Instagram, all these people in Airbnbs for long weekends.

And I really do being like, I'm always like, who organized that? Who is the person who went like, shall I book an Airbnb and we'll all go to it? It's like, well, yeah, and then you look at the group and they're like, oh, one of them's like a TV producer. They probably did it because they probably produced the weekend.

And you, if you're sitting home being like, why don't I get things like, you need to step up to the mark, look at the nice place you want to go, gather the friends, be like, I've booked this. Would everybody like to go? I would say so sorry, don't book it before you've asked anyone because then you may be out of pocket. Okay. Again, yeah. Okay, sorry, here we go again.

I found these dates. What do people feel? Yeah, does anyone want to go? I found that between the fourth and the fifth of June, between the fourth and the fifth, for only one hour at midnight, between the fourth and the fifth of June, this place is available. It costs this much. How does everybody feel? If we all split it, like, let's sit and you like do a lovely breakdown and you're like, how do people feel?

You know? But if you just say like, should we go away in the summer? Nothing. That's nothing. You've brought nothing to the table. There's got to be specificity. Even if you start with that and then immediately I have to follow up with because I found these things. Because then it's like, you know, sense the vibe because people might be like, I've got five holidays and I don't.

Oh, God. Because the worst is when you've actually got a thing and then everyone goes, no. So by all means, test the water. Test the water's short. Don't just plow ahead and be like, I bought a shall. Yeah, everyone want to come to it. But specify, like, I've managed to find this great Airbnb. Like, you, somebody has to bring, the Social Secretary is effort.

It's duck on the top. It's paddling underneath. It's looking calm on the surface and being like, of course, everyone just have a good time. But underneath it's like, I've found the Airbnb. I've got to do this. Somebody has to do it. So it might as well be you if you're like, I want to go on the place.

It's like, good. Show up and do the booking. And make sure that everyone pays on time so you're not the one who's just like out of pocket and constantly buying stuff because that is a real. Amen, absolutely. And if it's like, okay, I don't want to go away, but if it's like, oh, I found this cool concert or theatre thing or cool stuff,

be like, I'm going on this day, if anyone else wants to come on this day. Be like, okay, great, everybody's free book. It's also like, oh, cool, yes, I would love to. Thank you very much. Just like, I'm going to the pub to do this on this thing. If anybody is, you know, and rather than just like, should we go to the pub next week?

useless, nothing. What are we achieving here? I'm going to the dog and, bone on Saturday afternoon to watch the Daytona cheerie championship. Well, they're showing it. From 2pm, if anyone wants to come. Gorgeous, clear, specified, but also casual come if you like, or don't, but that's where I'll be. And I've invited cool people with the assumption that they'll all get on. And I won't be stressed out about if people like each other because that's not my

job. No. I don't have to be the king of the party. I'm just the secretary. Absolutely. Not the king, just the secretary. Just bringing people together. Just allowing a calm space but doing the work behind the scenes. Start small so you're not like, I don't think you should go straight in with arranging like, I don't know, a month in America road trip. Yeah. I think like...

Build up to the Airbnb. Start with Pete Kammerich takeaway. Yeah. Yeah. The pub. If you've got the space in your house, people to the house. If you haven't got the space in your house,

let's all go to the pub. She's going to do it. This is my year. It's Tess's year. This is my year. Oh shit. Well, would you vote for me for secretary? You know what?

Yes. Why? Because you seem like a nice girl. That's nice. I've not got the skills, but I'm going to learn on the job. And if we've learned anything about, you know, the police and the government, we do it. We're learning as we go. And I bring a lot of heart.

That's all we need. Heart. An enthusiasm and a desire to hang out. And really, what else could you ask for? You might have to get like a diary or a calendar so you can keep track of the dates of your social events. Thank you so much. Stevie, I should have led with that. Yes.

Does anyone long-time listeners, Tessa, has like a notebook that she just writes like, Tuesday a drink in it and it doesn't know what we is? Doesn't know when or why or who's it with or where or anything. Yeah, yeah, you've got to get a bit more on it. Yeah, okay, this is our time. This is our time party goers but not party makers. We are going to make the parties. You absolutely well.

Oh, God. May I say, you basically arranged the Nobody Power like book launch party. That was a, look at that. Rounding success, resounding success. Thank you. So you can't do it. That's always, that's a good thing to remember. Yeah, it's all about delegating Bebe. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, who's gonna bring the, that's, I'm sorry, it's like, such the end. I'm just throwing in a very, but like, um, it's all, you don't have to do everything if you're such, like, you're just the one who's organizing the thing. So you can then be like, okay, so, um, think about, if you, if you think about all the stuff that you'll need, be like,

who's bringing boots who's bringing food okay so like do you guys want to figure out where we're going to eat that like you don't you don't mean like it's not everything is not on you it's like you organize excellent catering yeah and balloons thank you and party and party yeah okay yeah okay see you next week at a party tessa okay i will next time be reporting back on what small social event i have managed to organize It's not totally controlled. Not a chalet. Not a chalet.

Merely bring the people together. But I did it. Yes. Okay. Okay. If you two feel sweating at the thought of doing it, our task in the next month is to bring the people together. Bring the people together.

Two people counts as bringing them together. You can't be one of them. So three in total. You're the third. Okay. And if you have any more episode suggestions that you would like this to do at Nobody Panic Fod, if you're like maybe something.

Both of you stop using this as therapy. Just listen to our suggestions. I just think it's important that occasionally we really let loose our deep fears. I think it's great. I've had a very good time with that episode. I feel like you've got, you bring a, I think you'll need to do some cool-down exercises. I loved it. And is, yeah, at, oh, what's the email, Tessa?

Nobody Panic Podcast at gmail.com or find us on Twitter at Nobody PanicPod. Smashing it. Or find me at Tessa Coates or Stevie at Stevie. I'll see. The S. Stiviam. Fuck. I got so close.

I know. Stevie M. S and five. Fuck. Goodbye, everybody. Have a good party. Good luck. Tell us how it goes.

Here we go. Here we go.