Nobody Panic - How to DIY

Episode Date: February 2, 2021

Tessa (extreme DIY enthusiast, recently bought the dungarees Pamela Anderson wears in Home Improvement) and Stevie (once tried to hammer a nail with a pan) walk through the seven tools for any beginner tool kit, attempt to identify some drill bits and confirm that it’s all about confidence confidence confidence (and Polyfilla).Want to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanicRecorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive Productions.Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.Follow Nobody Panic on Twitter @NobodyPanicPodSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Carriad. I'm Sarah. And we are the Weirdo's Book Club podcast. We are doing a very special live show as part of the London Podcast Festival. The date is Thursday, 11th of September. The time is 7pm and our special guest is the brilliant Alan Davies. Tickets from kingsplace.com. Single ladies, it's coming to London.

True on Saturday, the 13th of September. At the London Podcast Festival. The rumours are true. Saturday the 13th of September. At King's Place. Oh, that sounds like a date to me, Harriet. And welcome to Nobody Panic, 2021. The first podcast of the season. We're here, we're back, we're in your ears. How's the year being? How's January been? I'm Stevie, so that's my name. I'm Tessa. That is how I will be. That'll be my monica.

Anyway, welcome, welcome, welcome. Hope you had good new years. Hope the year is treating you all right. Yeah, it's December for us. And, you know, anything could have happened. Who's to say? So if we're broadcasting live to the space shuttle or, you know, if we're all living uproying the world again, an ice age, there's been an ice age. If your rat king is allowing you to listen to this episode, who's to say what's happened by February? But we're very excited to be back.

And we couldn't be more excited to be here with you and to be gearing up for 2021. Our episode today is, it's very close to Tess's heart. It's close to my heart because it's something that I would like to do. do more of in 2021. And I feel like, you know, there's been a lot of, you know, New Year's resolution chat. We're past that, guys. But it's nice to have a bit of a sort of a general aim. And I think my general aim is to try and get a handle on this more, which is, which is DIY, which is from a listener called Jess. Thank you so much for your email. And she says,

I always want to make things like out of wood, but I have no skills. I've asked Santa for a drill this Christmas, but I have no skills and can't remember a single thing from design to technology classes at school. Absolutely. And we are here to help you with your first foray into DIY. Get, get in. Come on in. You'd think, oh, so girls, have you got in a DIY specialist? No, no, we haven't. No, no, we haven't. But Tessa has put up a shelf and she did spray her intercom pink so it looked like a dream phone. And I think that's all the skills that you need. Thank you. I feel like when you, and I actually, when you start anything, you need to speak to somebody who's also starting it,

but is like slightly ahead of you, but still very much starting. Because if you speak to someone like, can't think of anybody who is like big in the DIY world, I was going to say handy andy from the 19th TV show, changing rooms. If he speak to him, he'll start talking about roll plugs or something,

and which I'm sure you know what they are, but I don't. See, look, already, this is very exciting for me. Yeah. but then you will feel both alienated, isolated and like an idiot. It's definitely something I think that, so these are my expertise I'll be bringing to the table. Qualifications. My qualifications are the Barbie Prink Dreamphone.

And I've made a bit of shelf out of some scaffolding I found in a skip. You also made a wardrobe out of some copper piping. And I made a wardrobe out of some copper piping. Just the rails. So it's an open wardrobe out of some copper piping. But I have been, I did, I was born into the DIY. So while I myself I don't have the skills, my parents are, you know, they've built most of their house themselves and they're extreme DIYers. And we live in a listed building.

It's a great, it's a list. It's a really old, old cottage. Isn't it old, Stevie? It's very old. And so you can't, you get, when you have a grade two, when you're listed, you can't do anything. You're not allowed to change anything or not. So you have sort of work around the incredibly old. bits of timber that just happened to be there.

But also, yeah, they're always, I mean, I've been a few times and every time your dad is, he's chopping wood in the garden. And there's something being assembled. It's a lot of like assembling. A lot of assembling. And a lot of people asking if you can come and look at a fence. You're always having to go and look at a fence. Yes.

It's a, yeah, it's, I'm not advocating particularly for this lifestyle. It's a, it's a, sometimes I'll say it now, it would have been best. to get some professionals in. I think they both would admit there were times when it would have been met. If the Y had not been yourself, it had been do it your, do, do, do, if DIY had stand for, do investigate your local professional, you know. Very good. I got there in the end.

Shall we do our adult things before we get into DIY? Absolutely. I would say don't do yourself down. You have done, I'd say, a hundred percent more DIY than I have. And we're not, we're like talking DIY in terms of like low level business. Oh, yeah. This is your beginners entry level and you want to put a shelf up. That's sort of the vibe.

Oh, oh yeah. This is even pre-shelf. This is entry-level stuff. What's your adult thing? I had to call the IRS, would you believe? And if you were listening from the United States, God bless you, you've got a tricky tax system. If you're listening from the United Kingdom, give thanks that our system is not as bad, but is not as bad as the American one, which is all privatized. So at every possible corner, if somebody can be making some money, somebody is.

It's really a bleak experience. But on the phone to the IRS, I had to get this special form. And I had to speak to so many different people. And eventually it was established they could get the form. And the only way to get it to me was to post it to me and it would take five weeks. And I was like, understood. I need it right now. Like, I was like, posting for five weeks can't be the only possible way.

And then like a woman in Texas, whoever I was speaking to was like, okay, well, the other option is we can use a fax machine. And I was like, obviously, I don't, I was like, just to be so unnecessarily outdated and for your only option to be the fax machine or a five week postal system. Anyway, while I was on the phone to her, I had a little Google and found there was actually various sites being like, are you on the phone to the IRS? this is what you do. And you say, yes, I have a fax machine.

I am with the fax machine. Then you go on this website. So this is just in case anybody either is on the phone to the IRS or ever needs to have a fax machine. You go on this website called fax burner.com. And for free, you put in your email address. It gives you a fax number for 24 hours. And somebody can fax you something

and it comes automatically to your email as a PDF. That is staggering. Staggering. I rose the high of that working. Because I thought this is never going to work. It'll just say like, delete, like, you know, faq error.

You can't, of course, this is a fax machine. And you have a virus. It's, I've got a virus, etc, etc. You know, I thought like, oh, this is going to be a disaster. It just arrived. It just worked. I could send the form off. Like, oh my God, I was buzzing for a good 24 hours.

I'm lying. I'm still buzzing about it now. Congratulations. Thank you so much. So if you're in a pickle or you need a fax machine, fax burner.com. Honestly, save my bacon. God, wow.

Mine's that I kept the little lens cleaner that you get with your glasses, when you get your glasses in the glasses case and I've kept it for over three months. That's, listen, I don't say this slightly, unbelievable. It is actually, isn't it? Yeah. Also, it's two pairs of glasses and they've both got the lens cleaner still in them.

You got two separate glasses and two separate glasses case? It was by one going free. You get two cases though, right? Yeah, two cases, two lends cleaners, two pairs of glasses, where are they? They're both in there. That's unbelievable. I'm on a similar high, but I can see now that it's not as high as I would be if I'd found a fax machine on my computer. Yeah, I know, right?

That's, that's actually, I can't actually cope with that. Thank you. Thank you so much. We've got the whole gamut of adult experiences. Yeah, and I think 2021, we're coming in strong. These are strong starts. The bar is both low and high. Your bar is high, Steve.

I don't know why you say that. The glasses case thing. that's unbelievable for you. Talking of shammy cloths, everyone. Get your shammy cloths, wipe your glasses because you're about to learn some business. Shall we begin, Stevie, with what holds you back from your DIY dreams?

I'm so far removed from doing DIY that I can't even imagine actually doing it. So it'd be like, oh, well, the bed that I had was balanced on books for a year. Yeah. I just will pay men to do the things. And then there's a feeling of being, like, great, don't have to worry about it.

Absolutely cool. But there's a very small voice that says, you're a failure. No. You're subscribing to the patriarchal idea that you have to get a man in, specifically a man. If they send a woman, I'd turn her away.

Yeah. To put up a shelf. Understood. And first thing of us is like sometimes in life it is absolutely the right decision to get a man in. Like, especially any kind of, you know, electricals, glass.

work, all of this sort of stuff. Like, in most things in your life do get a man in. But that voice, I think, is really important. The voice that's like, but I wish I could do the thing. And it is men. It's like, it's sort of the feeling at the garage. You know, if you take a car in and then people's like, what kind of, what kind of engine you're looking at there on the accelerator belt?

And you're like, a bell. A bell. I've got a bell in my car. A belt. A belt. A belt on the top. Also, as well, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, should say, you know, we're using very strict gender terminology here, but that's because, you know what, I don't, it's cis men world. It just is. It is. And as a, as a, you know,

that is, you know, and we don't like to do it. Of course, it's not all men, but it is a general experience as a female to be like, men say things and you say, uh-huh. And then you feel like a little, tiny little lady from the, from the, from the, a little southern bell who can't do anything for herself. And then they say, what kind of car you got there? And you say, that's blue. And then you feel like an idiot. Anyway, right. This is the number one thing about DIY is, uh, I'm just trying to imbue you with confidence to say, yes, you can. Yes, you can. And this, I think, is going to help people that there is a, so say you want to make a shelf or you want to put a picture on the wall or you want to, you know, do whatever it is you want to do in the house. Um, I'm assuming that 99% of people are

renting a property and I speak from extreme experience that I have made many messes of many walls. There is something that you can buy from your local hardware store for about £2.50. It's called polyfiller. It comes in a tube. It looks a bit like toothpaste. I mean, the tube looks a bit like toothpaste, but like a big, a big toothpaste. A big toothpaste, and it's called... A giant's toothpaste. A giant toothpaste, if you like. And what it does is it works like plaster for repairing holes in the wall. So if you've tried to drill something, it's been a disaster. You know, you're like, I've absolutely fucked this. I'm going to lose my deposit. Bit of poly filler. You put it on with a slightly wet knife. It goes on completely.

It's so easy and achievable. And you'll be like, oh my God, am I a genius? Should I become a professional plasterer? It goes on nice and smooth. You'll never know the hole was there. It fills it in. And then, I bet somewhere in your house under the sink or in a weird cupboard is the half can of paint that they painted your rented house with when they, when you moved in. If not, you can color match the paint and I swear on my life, I will come around and help you if you get in a mess, you can cover up those holes and all your mistakes and no one will know that you did it. See, that's, yeah, that has happened to before I've been like, oh, they said no, like, to not use any nails in the wall, but I'll just pop a clock up. Yeah, I'll just pop a clock up

because for God's sake, you deserve a clock. I want a clock. And then I've tried to pop a clock off and then the pop a clock off and then the huge chunk coming out of the wall and then I'm like, wow, that's 200 quid and I don't even think to polyfiller.

That's the thing, if not even thinking there's an option for you. It's so sad. Like, there are options for us here. The options are there for you. And if you go to a big,

I would take yourself rather than your local corner store because they're often more expensive and it feels quite overwhelming in there because someone will be like, what do you want, mate? And you'll be like, I actually don't, I don't know.

Take yourself to a massive BNQ or a massive Travis Perkins somewhere. You can just browse. No one's going to ask you what you want or what you need because the answer is you don't know. Just browse the shelves and be like, oh my God, there are so many things here that are actually not as expensive as I thought. And they come in every shade and every color and every size. Like there are things for every job here and also for fixing every mistake. And then you're like, oh, okay. Like the stuff is here for me.

And it's not this like closed off secret world that I have to only the men are allowed to know. Like, you know, you are, there is stuff there and then you'll be like, oh, okay. And it'll just like grow your confidence. But Chris, like, you absolutely can fix it. I have fucked it up on so many occasions and I've got away with it every time. When you're younger, you just don't realize you can do this sort of things. You just believe that whatever room that you walk into, everyone else knows what's going on and asking a question makes you look like you don't.

Then you'll be turfed out. I don't actually know what you think will happen. But like the liberation of realizing you can just go up to someone with like a B&Q, tabard and go, I've punched a hole through the wall of my bathroom. Because I ripped a chunk of wall out of my living room and got upset. How can I fix that? What would I need to do to fix that? And if they don't know, someone on the staff will know.

And then they will, like, arm you with all the stuff. And then you won't. Like, their job isn't just to refill the nail draw. The nail salon. And they might, you say you've punched a hole in the bathroom wall, they might say, yeah, right, is it plaster or brick? Are you working with MDF? And then you'll be like, but then they'll explain it in easier terms and be like, and then they'll help you understand. And you'll be like, okay, I think it's this one. And then you can, you can, you just keep asking questions. And don't be afraid to be like, you know, the classic garage man that we're all afraid of who says things and makes you feel like an idiot because you know, oh, you know that your car is blue. Like he, I mean, he's a very real person to me. But, but. Like he's actually that people are there and they are there to help you and they will not make you feel like a fool and they will walk you through the difference between plaster and brick if you don't understand what's what kind of wall you've punched, you know? And so you stick to your guns and admit that you don't and say, I'm sorry, I don't know all the correct words, but I'm going to describe it and this is roughly the thing I'm describing. I remember something that I do that I did find out last year about walls and renting is when you have a white wall, I've used it.

when you have a white wall, there's this thing called JML Doctor Power, but the doctor doesn't have a C and it's got a K in it. I don't know why. And it's a white sponge and you chop off a little bit and you rub it. And you put like a little bit of water on it and you rub it on a stain on your white wall and it just disappears like magic. Magic. Magic.

So that's it's there to blend in with all different types of white. And I really, that's the only thing that I've done. that I've been like, I've done that. I've done that. That's good. And that's good. And empowered. And empowered, right?

They're like, oh shit. Okay, here's two, my dad insists on these being included. My dad's top of the tip is clear your workspace before you plow on. This is something he's been shouting at me for 20 years. And I just, I, if I was trying to do something like above my bed, I would just climb on my bed with all the stuff on it, paint, drill, get the sand everywhere, like dust. And then you'd be like, oh, look, everything's real. look, everything's ruined. Just take the time beforehand to like move everything, put your special workman dungarees on or whatever you, your work where is. Like, just prepare your area and

be like, I'm taking this seriously and I'm moving everything out the way. And then you'll just feel like, okay, I'm taking, I'm taking myself and this job seriously. Do you feel like masking tape over things? It feels like masking tape over things so they don't get, like, if you're painting a wall, you're like, yeah, I could probably just get up to that, that doorframe. It's like, no, you put my masking tape over it so that you won't get it up to the doorframe because that's why professionals put masking tape over it. Exactly. They know their limitations as artists.

Exactly. Exactly right. Just know your limitation as an artist and take the job seriously and be like, what would I be doing if I was in someone else's house? Like, of course I would put down, you know, the paper. Of course I would do the masking tape. Of course I would take everything seriously. So just like, just take yourself seriously.

And the combined tip with that from him is don't rush it. Like if this job is not an emergency and it doesn't need to be done right this second, don't just take your time. Like do it when you are calm and you have the time and it's not a pressured situation. Like don't, don't force, don't make things, don't put those limitations on yourself if you don't need to. You know, just take your time and be slow and calm. And number four, which is going to be a bigger one is use the right tools, like your special Dr. Spunge thing. Thank you.

So the tools thing, I think, is so massive because there are. there are tools in Poundland. Like there are tools in crackers sometimes. Like there are tools that often they're like... I still got a screwdriver from a cracker in 2009. Exactly. There are tools in crackers. There are a selection of like pink tools that you can buy in the, you know,

in the petrol station that you'll be like, adorable for the lady in your life. They will not work. Like I mean, they'll work obviously. But like just get the right thing. And the difference between like a screwdriver from a, from a cracker and the real deal will be like, oh, oh, okay, it wasn't me all along that was crap. I didn't have the right tools.

So not helped that fact by that very annoying phrase, a bad workman blames his tools. Yes, exactly. That's the workmen who are work people, if we will. If we will. The gender non-conforming workforce. The workforce. That's for the workforce who are sort of like, you know, they know what they're doing. Yeah.

So then it is, you know, they can. can blame their tools. Yeah. But if you've never, never held a screwdriver, then... And your screwdriver came from a cracker. And then you think, oh, it's... You can't blame your tools. It's exactly.

And you think, oh, it's me that can't do this because a workman never blames his tools. No, the opposite is true. Your tools... Well, actually, the full sentences of workmen never blamed his tools unless it's from a cracker. Yes, that's... Okay, so if you're like, what are you talking about? I haven't got any tools, or maybe I got one from a cracker.

And I bet you're interested in starting. This is my lip. from one to seven of things to go for. And if you're like, I can't get all of those, start with one and work your way down. Okay. Coming at number one. And also these are, and also you think like tools,

what am I, the queen? I haven't got them money for these. Tools on. The queen famously wears a tool belt, with black and decker on it. She loves our black and decker, sponsored by it. You have the sort of vision that like the tools will be incredibly expensive. But they're actually, again,

you'll think what? You'll think like, wow, what was I doing with my cracker one? But these are achievable. Okay, number one, coming in at number one, is the, is a ratchet, oh, big word, multi-bit screwdriver. Okay. So a Stan, and Stanley, which is a yellow make, unhelpful. It's a yellow screwdriver.

The word ratchet means it, like, it helps you. So it has, I mean, ever, I'm sure people who actually know what a ratchet is a screaming, as I'd like to explain this. But I would describe it as it has a, a mechanism inside the screwdriver. So when it turns almost for you. So every time you twist it, I've seen her tell of those across the land. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it sort of has, you do it and you're like, oh my God, am I inspector gadget? Oh, ooh, woo, it has that sort of action. And the multi-pit screwdriver, and these things are 899, unbelievable. There's like, there's eight different little heads that

you put into the screwdriver for every different job. And then you don't have to buy 12 different types the screwdriver or try and explain your thing. So if you, the two classic things for screws are a Phillips screw, which is, I would describe it as the hot cross bun. Yes, no exactly what I mean. Yeah. So why isn't it called the hot cross bun, you know? Then someone says, oh, you need your Phillips for that job.

And you're like, ee, the hot cross bun, we all know what we're talking about. The hot cross bun or the flathead, which means it's just a single line. So those are your two options. But then it also has. So me, that is not pregnant. the crossburn or not pregnant. Those are your two options in the DIY world. And then on this, so those come also in different sizes because you might have a tiny little screw. You might have, you know, all kinds of different sizes. So you get three or four different sizes of those two.

Then you also get in it something called a hex, which is basically the bottom of an Allen key. So if you're ever like, oh my God, I don't know where the Allen key's gone, that's, I don't think it could be anywhere. I mean, no, it's somewhere in the house, but that's lost. you've got a little Alan key attachment on your thing so you can fix any of your IKEA screw stuff you can do anything it's called a hex a hex but again why do they call it that why don't they just call it the Allen key bit you know so then as soon as you have all this special terminology and then these ones are called a cam out uh positive and then you're like what the fuck is that it just means good hot cross bun you know like okay like really big old cross just really good it just um doesn't let you cam out means like if you try and do a screw and it's so tight tight in there that your screwdriver just keeps like sort of flipping out. Like it's not. So this one is just really advanced and really pointed. So it's in.

It's like we ain't going anywhere. Like we're getting this screw. But again, like you put all these special words on it. Everyone feels like they can't be involved. Just call it what it is. They're not pregnant. So that is the Stanley Ratchet multi-bit screwdriver.

I would describe it as game changing. Number two, retractable tape measure. We've probably again. Oh, love those. Yeah. You've probably got something. You've probably got a paper bit from IKEA in the house or maybe you've got a cloth one or whatever

but like I once went to be in Q with the measurement and I had measured it on a piece of silk. Like a piece of silk ribbon. Like of course they didn't take me seriously and being Q and they were like how big a piece of two by four do you need? And I was like this much please. Like just for God's sake get a proper date measure

and the retractable ones that go in and then you can like measure, press your little button. It zooms back in. Hello. You can pretend that you're magic and that you have actually recalled to the table. Yeah, you can be like, back to me and then zoom it back in. Come on. You can't put a price on that. Number three, a spirit level.

Oh my God. Yeah. What's the oh my God? Oh, sorry, no, no. We're just getting into like the real big boys now. Yeah, well, we're going down from number three. The spirits. We're getting into spirits.

Again, sometimes you've got one of those in a cracker, but I would say get a proper. And again, everything of these is under £10, if not a five. Like, you can get good quality stuff, especially if you want to get everything secondhand, and good tools will work for the rest of your life. So secondhand is absolutely fine. A spirit level. Oh, Mama, what a game. change changer because if you have not, if you're putting up a picture, if you're putting up

anything, just like being like, yeah, that's completely straight. A spirit level if it's a totally new word to you is how you communicate with the dead and the dead tell you if your pictures are straight. It's got a little, a little ball of air inside a pot of oil, could be. It's a little bar. You sort of put it on top of anything and if it is, go straight in the middle, you know you're straight and if it'll tell you if you're crooked and in which way you're crooked and it will just be, it will just really make everything so much easier. Number four, it's a hammer. Oh, yes.

I've heard of that. It's called a claw hammer if it has the banging bit on one side. And on the other side it has what we call the raptor claw. Understood, yes. The raptor claw bit is if you've gone in wrong and then you're like, that needs to come out and then you can leave her back out your screws or your nails. So much better than getting like a knife and like just ripping the whole wall off. Exactly.

Exactly. But if that doesn't work, the ripping issue, what you can also do is use a pair of pliers. And again, you'll think pliers, but you'll be surprised how many things you can pull out of stuff, get things with, do stuff. You'll be surprised how useful your pliers are, especially if things go awry and you need to, like, get things back out. Basically, you need things for going in, but you also very much need them for coming back out. Yeah. Number six, WD40. Hello.

Oh, yes. There's a funny joke where... Oh, yeah. Is that for, like... It's not funny, for my mind I described it. You know, like, is that for, like, the spraying thing, but, like, so if your hinges are squeaky, you oil it. Yeah.

There was a joke. I think it's on, like, American Dad show, and he, like, gets a WD40, but it does not working properly, and the thing isn't going down to it. It's a tiny WD40. That's very funny. For a WD40. It's like, no, yeah, and that's the only reason I know what that's for.

That is exactly what it's for, and that's a lovely joke. WD40 is a oil, lubricant that you, that again, I would describe it as taking your breath away, you'll think, if your door is squeaking and you'll think, oh, that can never be fixed, you do like the one spray of that and it's silent as the grave. And you're like, is this a prank? Like, how can the stuff work? That's good. So unbelievably well, what else does it work on other than door hinges? I was like, only door hinge. It has, it has, well, it has a very funny thing. It claims it says, it claims it has more than 2,000 uses. And then it has this thing online for like 2,000 uses. But actually,

many of them, if I may say WD40, are just various things that squeak, but like they've written them all down. But like any kind of electricals or machinery or hinges, but also it was once used by the police to get a naked robber out of a chimney. A guy had robbed a house and got stuck and they put WD40 on.

You can clean various stains with it. What? It's just for like anything that does, you'd be like... You can remove duct tape with it. Yeah, hey, somebody's got on the 2000 list. I have, yeah. It extends the life of bike chains.

Bike chains, almost anything. Anything that neat, basically, this is what they say, and we're going to come to its matching partner duct tape. They say, if it needs, the only three things you need in your house are duct tape and WD40. If it needs to move and it doesn't use WD40, if it shouldn't move and it does use duct tape. That's what they famously say. That's very good. I think if I went to someone's house and they had WD40 in duct tape, I think they're about to kill me.

Oh, right. Of course. Of course. Keep them to one side. Yes, and your claw hammer and your pliers. Like, do pop them, pop them away. And also number eight and final on the list and do pop this one away, your wood saw. Pop, pop, pop that one away.

Yeah, no one needs to see that. No one needs to see that. Yeah, your duct tape and your hacksaw there. A hacksaw looks like it has a hole in the middle. Okay, imagine a drawing of a sauce pan and now take out the bit of pan. Oh, I would not say, I would not describe it like that. I know, I know. How would you describe it?

You've drawn an iron. Yeah, yeah, you've drawn an iron. So you've not filled in the bits. You've not filled it in. So it's got one thin, serrated thing and that one you use more like chopping metal. You don't really need to get into sores, but like that is, any old saw will do, we'll do the job. A wood saw. What would I, what would I, personally, doesn't really do DIY?

What would I use a hacksaw for? Say you needed, well, say you're going to put up a shelf and you, you, the wood was too, bought a bit of shelf and it was actually too long. You could just quickly kneading it up. You measure it with your tape measure it, and neathing that up. And you'd be like, oh my God, I can't saw it off. I need like an electrical saw or something.

No, you'd be surprised how much you can just saw things off. What are your thoughts on no more nails? I don't mind it. It is more of a... It's sort of like just as a case I was listening, it's basically like... So, for example, my sister and her rented flat, actually ripped the door frame off the door.

Fantastic. And then, because it hadn't been put on properly. But then she put no more nails on it and stuck it back on. It's like very, very, very strong glue. Yeah. For DIY purposes. Yeah. It's literally to say no more nails.

It's like... Can you put up a shelf with it? No. I wouldn't put up a shelf with it. But perfect for that of like something that's not going to take any pressure but needs to be stuck right together. I think I've become very overwhelmed with the amount of like, what things are you supposed to actually

put in the wall. Yeah. And also the fact that like a roll plug is like essentially a little sock for your nail that goes in the wall. Yeah. Why in the cartoons does no one put a roll plug in before they then bash a hammer? Exactly. We're led to believe that you just, you have a nail and a hammer and away you go and you can

do anything. But instead it's the opposite of that. So crucial thing, a nail and a screw are two different things. So a nail is a nail is completely thin and soft, soft and smooth. nail is just a nail is just if you run your finger up and down a nail it's just it's smooth

whereas a screw is a whirly gig got it so a screw you have to screw in and then now you just hammer tapping exactly sorry that's a so much better way a hammer goes a snail goes directly in with a hammer

a screw needs to rotate and if you bash a hammer I mean it will I mean if you bash a screw with a hammer it will eventually go in but it will not be having a good time and a raw plug

exactly as you described is a plastic sock for a screw you make a hole with your drill and we're going to get them into this deeper. Drill! No, don't panic. You make a hole with that. You put your raw plug in. Then you screw your screw your screw into the raw plug and the raw plug expands in the wall just to make it like so tight and stable.

Oh, great. If you just needed to hang up a picture or something relatively light or you wanted to put like a wreath on your door or something like hang some fairy lights or anything like that that wasn't going to take a lot of pressure, you don't need the raw plug. You don't need to go to town. A screw or a nail will do absolutely fine. The thing about the drill stuff, again, like you're saying, is like the tax, the raw plugs, the nails, the bits. Like, this is so overwhelming. And then it has, and so you are completely correct to be overwhelmed by it. Nobody, and I've been thinking this for a while, and I've actually checked it. And this is the truth. Nobody has got a consistent plan for how you describe screws and drill bits. So there are like eight different names, different sizes.

The US and the UK are working on a different system. This is unbearable. but your basic thing, if you're ready to advance to drilling, you want to get yourself, and again, they're not as expensive as you think, and they will change your life. You want to get a hammer drill, even if you don't think you're going to do anything particularly fancy, just to have the option. And a hammer drill just means it can go into brick and do like heavy-duty drilling. When you first buy your drill, you'll be like, oh, they haven't given me the bit, because that's what I did.

I bought my drill, and I was like, oh, I've got, this one's broken. Like, it's got nothing at the end. But actually, it's got this little rotating bit that you rotate off, and then you can put any number of bits in. You twizzle it. You take the stuff out. You twizzle. You put anything in. And so I was honestly about to call the shop and be like, there's no bit. It is purposefully empty for you to put your own bits in. And then you, then this is where you want to buy as many, like, sometimes again in the hardware store, you'll see like a suitcase of drill bits. And you'll be like, this is too many drill bits. But they will be very helpful. Also, do all drill bits go in all drills?

Or do you have to like... All drill. No, all drill bits go in all drills. Oh, that's so nice to know. All drill bits go in all drills. And the drill bit, the end of the drill can expand and decrease to any size. So you can put anything in there. I've been trying to drill brick with a wood drill for years because I was like, well, it's the sharpest. Like, obviously I'll use that. But it turns out it's completely wrong.

There is one very sharp, spiky one that looks like a spear for a mouse. And that is for wood. Don't do anything harder. there is one gold one that is like a a mouse wizard staff excellent and that one you rarely use even though it's gold and fancy and that one is for drilling into plastic and metals and things and you rarely use your gold ones

and then the silver one is the one that you will use the most the silver is called your masonry bit and the silver one is like very bright silver and then it has like a weirder big head like a flat arrow head like imagine an arrow but then you sort of You blunted it. Okay. Like a hammerhead shark.

Stevie, exactly like a hammerhead shark. You know, use the right tools. You're like, oh, this was unbelievably. This was unbelievably easy. And pretty much everyone should be allowed to do DIY. And so I hope that this has been some help. And you at least come away with some confidence thinking that you can. Yes.

I mean, on a personal growth level, like I'm still a way away. I think I need to have a necessity to put a shelf and do something. But I do feel now I will. at least now go in being like, I'm not an idiot. This is very confusing. Yeah, this is confusing. Ask people. Yeah.

Don't be afraid to ask people and go and being like, yeah, this is confusing. But I'm here to learn and I can do it. And crucially to be like, you can fix anything you mess up. So if that is the thing that's holding you back, like just know that you can absolutely do it. And believe in yourself because you can do it. You can 100% do it yourself. That's a good, strong practical. first episode of

2021. Let's get down to brass tacks. Yeah. And even if you like, oh, no, I don't have any interest in DIY whatsoever. I hope there is some, the same attitude goes into some part of your life in some way that you feel locked out by the terminology or the locked out that you don't know the correct lingo, whatever, to be like, if it's confusing to you, it probably is confusing across the board and there's no shame in asking the questions and learning how to do it.

And so, yeah, thank you so much to Jess for that suggestion. and if you are listening and you have a suggestion and you have something that you would like us to help you with, even if we don't know how to do it, we will try and learn and then tell you about it. Learn with you. Do email us, Nobody Panicpodcast at gmail.com, and we are on Twitter at Nobody Panicpod. I'm also on Twitter at Stevie N. The S is not an S. It's actually a five. I'm at Desa Cote, all letters, classic letters. And yeah, thank you so much, Tessa, for just like really, really, really, um, holding together that episode, really bringing, really bringing your expertise there.

Thank you, Stevie. Thank you. And I hope it was, um, I hope it's amusing. I believe in you. Well, this week, why not have a think about looking at some drill bits? Have a lovely week, guys, and see you next Tuesday. Bye!